A 22-year-old girl, how to choose between reality and online romance?

The need for a sense of security is met. One of the biggest advantages of the Internet is that you don't know who the other person is. You can remain anonymous and keep your distance. This sense of distance gives you a sense of inexplicable security.

With room for imagination: Distance allows us to use our imagination. We can use our imagination to imagine what we would look like, what the other person would look like, and what we would do together. And we can express these imaginations unrestrainedly in words on the internet.

Staying together is a choice. It's a decision to create a safe space where you can confide in each other and care for and comfort each other.

Everything is just right. We may be unable to live without each other because we are similar in terms of our character weaknesses. We can cuddle up together, we know how to maintain a sense of distance, and we don't take too much from each other. There is no need to have too many expectations, so there is no need to talk about too many disappointments.

There are no gifts, that's normal. There is no need to get angry or argue.

Effortless: Save trouble.

With so much sweetness, there's no way you'll want to break up! You've got to be willing to live authentically and face your true desires, or you'll never make a choice.

And devote your life to it!

I wish you a happy life!

Hello, host!

I totally get the psychological dilemma between online dating and a real-life love/have-never-liked-anyone-for-over-thirty-years-gone-on-ten-blind-dates-is-there-no-hope-left-12838.html" target="_blank">blind date!

The reason for the dilemma is that you have so many exciting possibilities ahead of you! You are unsure about the future, but you are also unsure about yourself.

If the host is firm in their heart, they'll be right no matter who they choose!

If the host is not firm enough, I think you'll end up with someone you regret no matter who you choose!

Online dating is all about feelings! And while material things are great, they're not everything.

The person you met through a matchmaking service is materially sufficient and has plenty of feeling to spare!

So, the big question is: what should you choose?

What does the host lack, and what does the host want more? It could be the feeling of love, or it could be sufficient material things!

When there's a lack of love, it's like a gaping hole in your heart that nothing can fill — except for the right person!

When you're short of money, no amount of love can feed you — but that's okay!

If the host wants to live a life with more love, but doesn't care about being rich and famous, and can support himself, then go for it! Choose the one you love!

After all, it is really, really rare to meet someone you love in this world!

If the host wants to enjoy a better material life and hopes to get more material things through the other party's resources, then go for it! Go for the party with the better conditions.

But one thing is for sure: no matter what choice you make, as long as you don't regret it afterwards,

Make the best choices you can, and if you make a mistake, learn from it!

Maybe life is a series of exciting choices, with no right or wrong, and all the consequences are up to you!

I wish the host a happy life! And I'm excited to see what the future holds for them!

I am warm June, and I love you, the world, and I love you too!

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, I can see that you're a lovely, special person. I also feel a bit envious of you and your online relationship because it seems like it's going so well!

You have a blind date lined up and you're trying to figure out how to navigate both relationships. It's a tough spot to be in! Your question does sound a bit confusing, but I'm here to help. At the end of the day, it's not about choosing between two people, but about deciding what kind of life you want to lead.

It's great that you have a clear understanding of the emotions between you and your online love interest. It's so important to know that the two of you can provide emotional value for each other, satisfy each other's emotional needs, and that there will be no entanglements or control.

But then you mentioned that you are in an online relationship and have not yet met in person. So I get the feeling that your relationship is more like an idealized castle in the air.

You're focusing on the spiritual level, which is great, but it would be good to think about the practical level too.

As the old saying goes, falling in love is easy when two people are compatible. But marriage is about real life, and that can bring unexpected challenges. If you two are ready to start living together, you'll probably face some of these issues.

And now, on this side, it was introduced by your mother, and you may not have very deep feelings for him, just that you don't dislike him and can accept him. You don't know whether you should continue talking to him and get to know him better and develop a relationship.

It's true, there's always a risk no matter what you do. But here's the thing: a good intimate relationship doesn't come from a choice, it comes from building.

It doesn't matter if it's your online love or someone your mother introduced you to. You don't really know them very well, and you haven't lived together. So no matter who you choose, you'll have to go through the process of getting to know each other, experience anger and arguments, and then learn to understand and tolerate each other. It's all part of the journey!

So, you can't really compare the two people and choose between them. Instead, you have to think about each one individually.

First, think about whether your online relationship has any chance of actually entering your life. If not, it might be best to cut the cord and end the relationship.

Once you've taken care of your online relationship, you can think about whether you want to keep talking to the person your mom introduced you to. It's not because you lost your online relationship that you want to hold on to him.

I really think you'll feel that he's a better match for you in terms of personality, character, and values. You can communicate and negotiate together to face the problems in life.

I read your additional comments again, and I really feel your dilemma. If you just want to see him again, it really isn't an excessive need.

I know it's tough, but for practical reasons, it really can't be done. I think you have to learn to accept and allow, to accept that there are things in this world that don't go according to one's wishes, and that there are bound to be some regrets in everyone's life.

If you let go of your feelings for him and devote yourself to your own life, after a few years you'll probably think back to him with fondness. And if you have the chance to see him again, you'll probably feel like it was a positive experience.

Hi, I'm Haru Aoki, and I just wanted to say that I love you all so much!

Greetings! I extend a warm embrace from a distance.

One can discern the current inner turmoil, helplessness, and desire for support and understanding.

It is evident from your description that you have the capacity to make a choice. However, you appear to be reluctant to assume responsibility for the consequences of your choice if it does not meet your expectations.

Despite the duration of your online relationship, which has exceeded four years, and the numerous periods of separation and reunion, it is evident that you have become emotionally dependent on your partner. In other words, he may have provided you with a significant degree of emotional value during your time together, which has resulted in a lack of self-sufficiency in certain areas. You have not attempted to address your own needs independently.

In your communication with your online boyfriend, you are more concerned with unilaterally obtaining his emotional support. You do not recognize the necessity of taking the initiative to provide him with the responses and satisfaction he requires. It is possible that your emotional dependence on him is the most beneficial form of support for him. Additionally, your lack of consideration for his needs and indifference may stem from an unconscious psychological disposition, namely the belief that you are inherently superior to him.

"When there is such an unconscious psychological position in a relationship, regardless of the other person's efforts or their perceived goodness, it is impossible to perceive it. One must continually focus on the aspects of the other person that are inferior to oneself to verify the accuracy of one's assumptions. In the absence of awareness of this unconscious cognitive pattern in one's relationship, the relationship will undoubtedly be affected. The other person will experience rejection, dislike, and a lack of acceptance, which will result in feelings of inferiority, lack of confidence, and frustration. They will take the initiative to distance themselves from the relationship because no one wants to be rejected by the person they care about the most on a daily basis. No one wants to admit that they are bad, right?"

The reason for the inability to accept the match proposed by one's mother can be attributed to concerns regarding the potential inability of the individual in question to provide the requisite emotional support and responsiveness observed in one's online romantic partner. In other words, the expectation is that one's romantic partner in the offline world will not only meet the established expectations but will also be capable of offering the same level of emotional support that has been previously experienced in the online domain.

The ideal is an appealing concept, but reality is often harsh. There is no such thing as a perfect partner. One can only achieve personal growth and self-perfection through recognizing one's own shortcomings and striving to overcome them. It is important to understand that no individual is obliged to fulfill one's needs or to possess a comprehensive understanding of one's inner self.

It is challenging to accept and confront the aspects of others that require personal growth and introspection.

Only when we are willing to confront our own inner deficiencies and inadequacies can we more effectively empathize with and accept the deficiencies and inadequacies in others. This enables us to provide ourselves with the emotional and emotional responses we lack through our own efforts, treating ourselves in a manner that aligns with our long-held aspirations. We cease to disregard others due to our own internal sense of deprivation.

It is my hope that the information I have provided will prove beneficial and assist you in some way.

Hello, question asker! I commend you for seeking assistance. When you're uncertain, seeking guidance from a more experienced individual is an effective approach.

You met your online love when you were 18. Over the past four years, you've weathered countless ups and downs, and found immense happiness. You are extremely fortunate to have met an online love that has lasted for four years at the age when you first fell in love.

That's rare! You've held on to this belief for so long, so I'm sure a lot of things must have happened that made you happy and that you want to remember!

Really?

Secondly, you stated that the issues between you and your partner are: firstly, the distance is too great, and secondly, there is also a significant difference in family circumstances. Thirdly, there is also a physical distance.

From this, I can see that I am certain there is more of a spiritual connection between you. As the saying goes, if the heart has no place to rest, it is a drifter wherever it goes.

As you said, "Let's make each other indispensable." We are similar in terms of our character weaknesses, and we can keep each other warm. That's it.

Then, in reality, the person I'm going on a blind date with seems to be 28 years old. I don't want to be embarrassed if we hit it off and find out that we haven't broken up with our online lovers yet.

Tell me, is the identity of an online friend like love or like a crush?

The love triangle theory compares love to a triangle with three sides: intimacy, passion, and commitment. The word love has different meanings for different people. If we don't know what love is, we can't find true love.

If the definition of love between lovers is inconsistent, then they cannot give the other person the love they desire. What do you think?

Finally, there is a clear distinction between liking and love. True love is addictive, it is hard to let go, and it can become a need.

It's not like that. It may make you happy, but it cannot bind you closely and inextricably to another person.

Ask yourself again: Is this attachment to your online friend like liking or like love? If someone else gave you the same feeling, how would you feel?

You must decide whether you will be reluctant to let go of this person or this feeling. I also recommend the book If Only I Knew Before I Got Married, which I believe will give you the answers you seek.