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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello! I'd like to give you a warm hug from afar first.
I'm glad you asked for help. I hope my input is useful. I also want to commend you for recognizing your lack of confidence in intimate relationships and for seeking help.
While you're feeling afraid, try to accept when the opposite sex is actively pursuing you. Allowing and accepting the opposite sex's active pursuit of you might make you feel a strong sense of panic and unease inside, and you may want to withdraw. Don't judge this state of mind. When this state of mind arises in you, try to be aware of the unease behind this part of your state of mind. For example, you may be worried about being abandoned or let down. Even so, as an adult, are you unable to protect yourself well?
Of course not, right?
In other words, even if the guy ends up hurting you, abandoning you, and disappointing you, you'll be better equipped to handle it. After all, relationships are a two-way street. If you take the initiative to manage and guide the relationship, you can steer it in the direction you want.
You're always in control. What do you think?
If you know what you've been through because of your parents' unhappy marriage and you're ready to make changes, you can start healing by learning and growing under your own guidance. While you're doing that, you can also start to enter into an intimate relationship.
Because wounds in relationships can be healed in relationships. You can tell your boyfriend about your inner unrest sincerely and courageously, and express your need for his greater acceptance, understanding, and support.
This will make him feel respected, valued, and needed. If he's capable, he'll definitely be willing to accompany you on the journey of healing. What do you think?
I suggest you read Fall in Love.
Hi, I'm Lily, one of the listeners of the Q&A Pavilion. I love what we do and I love you too!
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Comments
I understand your concerns and it's okay to feel this way. Maybe starting with small steps, like trying to build friendships, can help you open up gradually.
It sounds like you're carrying a lot of emotional weight from observing your parents. Therapy could be a helpful space to explore these feelings and work on building trust in relationships.
Your longing for love shows that you're capable of wanting deep connections. Perhaps focusing on selflove first will give you the strength to eventually share that love with someone else.
It's important to recognize your hesitation. Knowing this about yourself is half the battle. You might find comfort in connecting with others who have had similar experiences through support groups.
Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide clarity. A journal might become a safe outlet for you to express your fears and desires about love.