A 30-year-old girl who thinks about her mother's matchmaking advice on blind dates? Inner conflict

Hello! I'm counselor Cai Li.

You said you were afraid to fall in love and afraid of being dumped, so you keep going on blind dates.

What made you start trying to accept an intimate relationship?

Where did the fear of being abandoned come from?

You say your only materialistic criteria for choosing a spouse is that you have no concept of values.

You can't clearly express your requirements, right? But I think you have a general feeling about it. Some people make others feel uncomfortable as soon as they meet.

You like looking good, but you feel conflicted when you think about what your mother said.

Part of you agrees with your mother, but you also want to do things your own way.

If you listen to your mother, you'll be unhappy. If you listen to yourself, you'll be afraid. What if your mother is right?

I'm still a kid. I can't take responsibility for myself. Is that true?

♥️You have a strong emotional awareness, and you resent your mother and yourself.

You want to grow up, be independent, and take responsibility for your life, but you lack the courage to do so.

Read the book The Courage to Be Happy if you're interested.

If you can afford it, you can get professional counseling. It might help you grow up faster.

♥ I wish you

I love you.

Good day, question asker.

From your description, I can ascertain that you are experiencing a certain degree of discomfort, including feelings of anxiety, fear, and confusion. Is this an accurate assessment? Concurrently, I perceive a notable degree of awareness in you. When you initiated your search for answers to your questions, it also took courage. I commend you for your courage and for facing your own challenges with fortitude.

You describe yourself as 30 years old, having never been in a relationship and being afraid of being broken up with. Could you please provide the date you first started feeling this way? Is being afraid of being broken up with something you've experienced?

Please describe the nature of your discomfort.

You have indicated that you are currently engaged in a series of blind dates. It is possible that your standards for selecting a spouse may differ from those of your mother, which could result in some confusion.

In your description, you indicate a dislike of honest people and a preference for someone who is the opposite of your father. I would like to suggest that you consider your relationship with your father and the emotions it evokes.

You have described a conflict within your emotions, with feelings of hatred and anger. When you experience negative emotions, you choose to vent your discomfort by striking your fists against a wall. This may lead to self-doubt and contribute to your reservations about marriage. Is that accurate?

I would like to reassure you that you are not abnormal and that there is nothing wrong with you. You simply have some emotions and inner feelings of grievance and anger, and you are not aware of what caused them. They have been stuck in your subconscious mind. This may have something to do with your family environment and educational environment.

It is important to note that there is no absolute right or wrong in life, and that everyone's perspective is unique. Consequently, their feelings towards things are also different. If you want to change, what do you have to do now? Will it be like this? What do you want?

I would then like to ask you to envisage what kind of marriage you would like, or what kind of person you would like to be married to.

Please feel free to contribute your thoughts and ideas without concern for being evaluated as correct or incorrect, or for making a misstep.

If a miracle were to occur and you woke up tomorrow morning in the ideal state of life, marital status, and with the partner you desire, what steps would you have to take to make that happen? If you were to adopt a more positive outlook, would you be any different from how you are now?

Who will be aware of your transformation?

There is a reason why you are not married at this time. It may be related to your experiences or life situation during your childhood, as previously discussed. Being 30 years old and unmarried is not uncommon. In fact, I am 32 years old, have no partner, and am not married. I am also consistently seeking and evolving, with the hope of becoming confident and mature, so that I can achieve happiness in the future.

My mentor often reminds me of a key principle: a successful marriage requires not just support in times of need, but also a commitment to personal growth and self-improvement. It's about becoming the best version of yourself, not just relying on your partner to shoulder all the burdens.

I would like to provide you with some tips to help you overcome internal discomfort and achieve a state of peace. Only by doing so can you live a relaxed and happy life and have the courage to find your own happiness.

First, adjust your mindset and embrace your current situation.

I empathize with your anxiety. This anxiety stems from external factors, which can be disruptive. However, it's essential to recognize that marriage is a personal decision, not a subjective value judgment. It's a choice that resonates with our genuine feelings. To navigate this journey, it's crucial to adjust our expectations, embrace our emotions, and accept our circumstances. We must also be confident in articulating that marriage is a personal choice, one that we experience and navigate independently. By doing so, we can foster a positive outlook and anticipate a brighter future.

Secondly, it is important to learn to release negative emotions.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing negative emotions such as hatred and anger. Your actions of hitting the wall with your fists to vent these feelings are not constructive. I empathize with your situation and want to suggest alternative ways to vent your negative emotions. Engaging in activities such as sports, running, swimming, walking, or traveling can help you relieve the discomfort you are feeling.

To achieve a state of relaxation and courage to pursue our goals, it is essential to eliminate the negative association with studying. Do you concur with this assessment?

Finally, have confidence in your abilities.

In life, we are our own strongest support and source of security. It is of little benefit if no one else believes in us. I would be interested to hear your views on this.

In the face of a wide range of emotions, it is important to have confidence in your ability to handle them. Believe in your capacity to confront these emotions and the courage to make necessary changes and take action.

It is important to believe that you will encounter your own true happiness. Only if we have persistence and determination can we really find our own happiness.

I recommend that you seek the assistance of a professional counselor.

Many of the emotions in your description have not been expressed and remain in your subconscious mind. If you do not promptly become aware of and address the root cause in your subconscious, it will trigger your subconscious and cause you to feel uncomfortable in the future whenever something happens. Therefore, I suggest that you seek help from a professional counselor. I hope that the root cause in your subconscious will provide a safe and accepting environment, so that you can grow with strength in this environment.

It would also be beneficial for you to consider taking some psychology courses. In addition to providing valuable insight, these courses can also facilitate personal growth and healing.

Finally, I would like to reassure you that it is normal to have feelings. In the description of your supervision, it is evident that your relationship with your father is not optimal. However, this does not reflect any personal shortcomings on your part. Your original family did not provide you with the necessary security and role models. Nevertheless, while we cannot alter the past or influence others, we can certainly influence our own destiny.

As long as we maintain confidence in our abilities, pursue new opportunities, and demonstrate courage in our actions, the changes we implement on a daily basis will gradually yield noticeable results.

There is no need to be afraid. When you feel emotionally distressed in the future, you have the option of exercising more, expressing your emotions, or contacting us to chat with a support worker. We are here to help.

Good day.

There are a few notable aspects of your description: 1. You have never experienced the emotion of love due to a fear of being rejected. 2. When you reflect on your mother's words, you feel a sense of internal conflict and anger, which will likely persist for an extended period.

3. The objective is to identify a type of person that is the complete opposite of your father. 4. The only criteria for choosing a spouse that are relatively clear are: good looks and good material conditions.

Let's examine this in greater detail.

You are concerned about the possibility of being abandoned and tend to describe it as such, rather than as a relationship breakdown where both parties part ways. This feeling is one of powerlessness, with self-blame and low self-esteem.

There are two possible explanations for this situation. Firstly, you have been surrounded by influential women who have consistently demonstrated the devaluation of women. Secondly, you have been disregarded and overlooked as a female member of the family. To address this, it is essential to spend more time with individuals who hold a positive perception of you and less time with those who diminish your sense of worth. Gradually, you must acknowledge your own self-worth and realize that you are capable and valuable.

It is important to remember that relationships are a two-person affair, and that each party holds half of the power.

When you reflect on your mother's words, you are not merely expressing disagreement; you are also experiencing anger and a desire to lash out. Can you discern whether your mother views your father as honest, but disapproves of him, and even complains about his shortcomings to you?

This is an inadequate representation, and your mother is influencing your decision-making process based on this perception. You are visibly upset, as though she has indicated that you will not have a suitable partner, and she is aware that this is not an optimal outcome. However, she is allowing you to perpetuate this pattern. You are strongly inclined to challenge this, but are you also concerned that this may be your future?

I can assure you that this is not the case. It is simply an image, not a fact.

It is important to move beyond your preconceived notions and recognize the men in your life for who they truly are, with their inherent flaws and strengths. It is also essential to distance yourself from the expectations and standards set by your mother.

Your stated preferences for a partner appear to be both vague and clear at the same time. They include a partner who is unlike your father, who is good-looking, and who is well-off. This is related to the previous point and has to do with your father.

It would be beneficial to move beyond your mother's perception of your father and establish a genuine connection with him. Identify a father who embodies the full spectrum of human experience, encompassing both strengths and weaknesses. He may have a low sense of presence and may not have demonstrated traditional forms of protection, but he is undoubtedly a complex and multidimensional individual.

You may be defending your father inside, and you want to be honest, which is a positive quality. However, this also means that you may be perceived as "useless." As a result, you may find it challenging to determine your own standards, and the good and the bad may conflict ambiguously inside you. When you lack real interaction with men and don't understand the qualities of men, you may only see what is easiest to see: appearance and wealth. At least with these two, you can judge what is good.

It is a common assumption that a problem can be solved by finding a solution. In this case, the desire to find a good man leads to the decision to actively seek out a suitable partner. This approach may be perceived as unconventional.

I believe you have long been suspicious of what others say, and I believe in your feelings and judgments. It is likely that others are showing you a way that even they don't know.

Prior to locating a suitable partner, it is essential to gain insight into one's own self-awareness, the nuances of male psychology, and the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. This necessitates a clear understanding of one's emotional landscape. One avenue for achieving this is through structured counseling sessions. However, it is also beneficial to apply these insights in a practical setting.

While thirty is still young, it is never too late to find happiness. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Hello, questioner!

I'm glad we're meeting here.

You're 30 years old and have never been in love. You have no specific requirements for your partner. You only have material and appearance requirements. This is the opposite of what your mother wants. You're internally conflicted. This conflict makes you feel a lot of emotions. You even pound on the wall. I can feel that you're really suffering. You don't want to rebel against your mother. You also want to make your own decisions. You're very confused. Let me give you a warm hug first.

You are a disciplined person who is unwilling to break the rules and afraid of being hurt. You want to listen to your mother because listening to the words of your elders means lower risk and can also give you some support and a sense of security.

But another part of you is ready to pursue your own path, especially when it comes to dating. You believe that falling in love means getting married, and getting married is a once-in-a-lifetime event that you cannot ignore your own feelings. Therefore, you have strong rebellious thoughts in your heart.

You don't have any psychological problems. This is all part of the consideration that an adult should have when facing life's choices. The best way to deal with conflict is to face it and understand what it is trying to tell you. There are three main things you should think about:

First of all, there are boundaries in any relationship. You gave birth to your mother, but you must understand that you have your own life. Your mother is important to you, but she will not be the one to accompany you to the end.

We will listen to our mother's advice, but we will not base our final decision on how someone looks or whether they are honest or not.

Secondly, you need to express your current emotions in a constructive way to temporarily relieve them. It is also important to resolve emotions in a timely manner.

Name your emotions the next time they come up. This will help you identify what kind of emotions they are. Then, understand your emotions and what kind of expectations they are based on. Decide how you want things to develop.

Finally, communicate with your mother by sorting out your emotions, finding out her expectations, and your own true thoughts and the direction you want things to develop. At the same time, you can also understand that before, your mother may have directly thrown two conditions at you for you to comply with, but in fact, what are her expectations and needs?

I am an enthusiastic answerer on Yixinli, a psychological listener, and an offline consultant. I am here to help you learn how to face life's challenges and summarize your experiences to help others.

Hello! I am the place of peace!

"A 30-year-old girl who has never been in a relationship is excited to start a new chapter in her life and is open to the idea of marriage.

Now I keep going on blind dates, and my only criterion for choosing a spouse is material requirements, without any idea about inner values. I like good-looking guys, but I have inner conflicts. I remember what my mother said: "Men who are good-looking have more options and are more likely to cheat." So, I'm excited to find someone who is honest and down-to-earth!

I want someone who is honest and down-to-earth! I had internal conflicts not only about appearance, but also because I didn't like honest people and wanted to find the complete opposite of my father.

"

From your description, it's clear that your parents' marital status, especially your mother's views and attitudes, have had a significant impact on you. I'd love to know more about your mother!

You don't want to fall in love for fear of being abandoned, and it seems that your sense of self-worth and security are not very high. What can you do to boost them?

I'd love to know if your childhood experiences played a part in this!

I'd love to know more about your childhood experiences! What was the attitude of your parents towards you when you were growing up? And what expressions and words did they most often use when facing you that you remember?

Do you worry that they'll abandon you?

If you have such concerns, I'd love to hear how you've coped over the past 30 years to ensure that you are not abandoned!

I'd love to hear more about how you interact with friends, colleagues, and classmates. What are your favorite ways to connect with them?

The current standard for choosing a spouse is material requirements, with no idea of inner values and a preference for good looks. But there will also be internal conflicts due to your mother's admonitions. Apart from the criteria for choosing a spouse, will your mother give you related requirements or standards in other areas?

I bet your dream spouse would be tall, rich, and handsome! What kind of expectations and needs could that fulfill for you?

I'm so excited to hear more about why you don't like honest people like your father! Is it because your mother is more dominant in the family and your honest father is always suppressed by her, making you feel that he is a wimp and lacks the fortitude expected of a man?

I bet you're looking for a partner who is tall and strong, who gives you a sense of power and security, and who you can rely on to protect and care for you!

"Now, the internal conflict will make me feel hatred and anger, and I can't help but clench my fists and pound on the wall. Pounding on the wall will make me feel a little more awake, but the hatred and anger in my heart will remain."

Oh, the possibilities! Who do they hate and get angry at? Themselves or others?

Oh, I'd love to know what you hate and what makes you angry!

The heart is filled with a strong sense of hatred and anger, but there is no outlet for it. It can only be vented and relieved by hurting oneself. I feel very sad when I read this, but I also feel inspired to help people overcome their issues.

I've got a question for you! How long have you been banging your fist against the wall? How long has it been?

Have you told anyone else? For example, your parents or friends? I'm sure they'd be happy to hear from you!

Have you been in a similar situation before? Have you tried other methods that can make you feel a little better? I'm sure you have!

I'm 30 years old and I've never been in love. I'm so excited to find out if you've ever been in love too! Do you long for love?

Do you want to experience the incredible feeling of happiness mixed with pain, of anticipation mixed with anxiety, of sweetness mixed with bitterness?

If you were once a timid child, lacking strength, courage, and confidence to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs,

So now you are 30 years old! It's time to celebrate! You've grown up and are no longer the weak, powerless child who is afraid of being abandoned and longs to be seen and loved.

Absolutely! You have the ability, strength, wisdom, and confidence to take responsibility for your life!

When you mustered the courage to come here to seek possible help, I think you have awakened and are willing to do something for a better you, and I'm so excited for you!

When you have the will, you have the motivation and drive to change—and that's very important!

The road ahead will definitely be full of twists and turns, but it will also be full of amazing opportunities! You need to have enough confidence, courage, perseverance, and hard work. When you hold fast to the belief of never giving up, never backing down, and face difficulties with a determination to overcome them, I believe you will get better and better!

I really, truly wish you the absolute best!

Now, inner conflicts will make me feel hateful and angry, and I can't help but clench my fists and pound on the wall. Pounding on the wall will make me feel a little more sober, but I know that I can conquer the hate and anger in my heart!

Hello, questioner! I'm Jiang 61.

First of all, thank you for trusting us and being willing to tell us your troubles and seek help. You are bound by your mother's way of thinking, afraid to talk to a partner, looking forward and backward, and you are very anxious. You need to get out of this situation.

I am confident this will help.

1. Shadows

You say, "I'm 30 years old, female, and I've never been in a relationship because I refuse to be dumped."

You live with a single mother and are afraid to fall in love. You say it is because you are afraid of being dumped. This fear is likely related to your mother's marriage experience, which caused you great harm and left a shadow.

1. Criteria

You say, "I only have material requirements for my ideal partner, and I have no idea about inner qualities. I like good-looking guys, but I have internal conflicts and think of my mother's words: 'Men with good looks have more options and are more likely to cheat.'

I want to find someone honest and down-to-earth.

I don't know what my values are.

You say your only criterion for choosing a spouse is material. Is it because your mother or father suffered in this regard, so you place great importance on a material foundation? You say you have no idea about your inner three views.

You have no idea about your outlook on life, the world, or values, and you don't have a clear direction in life.

Pay attention to appearance.

You like handsome, good-looking boys and don't like ugly ones. This is perfectly understandable, as everyone loves beauty. However, your mother is wrong. Men who are good-looking do not have more options and are not more likely to cheat.

You need to find someone who is not very good-looking but honest and can live a down-to-earth life with you.

Mom's views are too extreme and tend to generalize. This has undoubtedly affected your views on marriage and made you feel fearful.

You don't like honest people.

Your views are completely different from your mother's, and you don't like honest people. I want to know why.

2. Opinions

You said, "My inner conflict is not only about looks, but also about the fact that I don't like honest people and want to find the complete opposite of Dad."

My opinion is that you need to stop dwelling on the past and start focusing on the future.

You want to find someone who is the complete opposite of your father. I understand that your father is an honest man, not very good-looking, doesn't have much money, and still cheated on you.

My starting point is as follows:

Your father's behavior has hurt you a lot and affected your standards for choosing a spouse. You've realized that infidelity has little to do with whether someone is honest or not, or whether they look good or not.

You should find someone who is good-looking, at least he can please himself. There's no need to cheat on someone who is not good-looking or honest.

3. Conflict

You said, "Internal conflict will make me feel hatred and anger, and I will clench my fists and pound the wall. Pounding the wall will make me feel a little clearer, but the hatred and anger in my heart will remain."

I want to know what is wrong with me.

I am indecisive.

You want to stand up for yourself, but you don't want to go against your mother's wishes and hurt her. You need to decide whether to go ahead with your plan or not.

It's time for emotional release.

You have feelings of worry and anxiety. You are unable to break free from this state, so you hurt yourself to become more aware. You say that your hatred and anger are still pent up inside.

Tell me, who are you really angry with? Is it your father, your mother, or yourself?

2. Misconceptions and influences

1⃣️, Controlled thinking and behavior

You resent, are angry, and frustrated with both your parents and yourself.

You need to take control of your thinking.

Your mother's words make you cautious when it comes to dating, and you are unable to have a relationship that is under your own control. This is because your thinking is restricted by your mother's way of thinking.

You are distressed by your inability to break free from your mother's way of thinking.

Your behavior is influenced by others.

Your father's departure left a deep emotional wound in you, and you are still afraid to take the first step in a relationship. You are afraid of being abandoned mercilessly like your mother, so I am discouraged. You resent your father for his actions.

This is the result of being weak.

You want to be in a relationship and fall in love, but you're too influenced by your mother's thinking and your father's actions. You look before you leap, don't have opinions of your own, lose yourself, and become angry.

2⃣️, wrong perception

You can't be yourself because you don't understand the three values. You accept your mother's biased thinking and have a sense of disaster. You believe that only handsome, rich, and even honest people will have affairs, which affects your outlook on life and love.

3⃣️ Unclear boundaries

You and your mother need to establish a clear boundary between you. You need to be clear about what you can decide for yourself and what you need your mother's input on.

You don't have to bear the consequences for what isn't your business.

Your mother's thinking restrictions, your father's behavior, your cognitive biases, and your unclear boundaries are preventing you from being yourself in your romantic relationships and stopping you from moving forward.

3. Break through your perceptions.

You say, "People say that blind dates are for marriage, but I've never been in love and I'm resistant to marriage. What should I do?"

It's not the world's view that blind dates are for marriage that needs correcting. It's your own view of love, marriage and life. And blind dates are not something to be resisted. If you want to get married, you need to solve the following problems.

1. Establish a correct outlook on life and marriage.

Your life outlook is your view of life. It's about the purpose, value, and meaning of human existence.

The concept of marriage is the basic understanding and attitude towards marriage problems. It is one of the components of life outlook.

A correct view of marriage is based on the principle that marriage must be based on love and adhere to the principle of the voluntary consent of the parties.

If you want your marriage to last, you need to have a consistent outlook on life, marriage, and values. Once you've established this, you can start building a good romantic relationship, take it to the next level, and move from dating to marriage.

2. Change your wrong perceptions.

Your past misconceptions have hindered your views on marriage and perceptions of people. It is time to correct these misconceptions. There is no necessary link between a person's appearance and infidelity. You should not be afraid of appearances.

Love is a required course in life. It's a process for getting to know people, experiencing things, and improving yourself. Don't use "only if... will..."

A catastrophic view of relationships and marriage will inevitably lead to a fear of marriage. A growth mindset towards the people, events and things that happen in a relationship will treat events as life experiences, with an added sense that getting to know people, experiencing things and allowing yourself to grow is a process of trial and error.

You must therefore ensure that your perception is correct if you are to embark on your relationship journey correctly.

3. Establish your boundaries.

Interpersonal boundaries are about recognizing that we are not one with others and that each person has their own self-boundaries. Interpersonal boundaries and self-boundaries are about clearly defining the rights and responsibilities of each individual.

Interpersonal boundaries and self-boundaries are our protective barriers. However, the closer someone is to us, the more likely they are to cross boundaries and interfere in other people's behavior. You are currently in a situation where these boundaries are unclear. You need to

You must establish self-boundaries.

Take responsibility for your own affairs. That's how you establish self-boundaries.

Parents are responsible for their own affairs.

A lack of interpersonal boundaries and self-awareness will undoubtedly lead to our relationships stagnating and make it difficult to achieve a deeper level of intimacy.

It is essential to establish boundaries.

You must understand what is your own business and what you are responsible for, and what is not your business and you cannot intervene. Establishing boundaries, especially interpersonal boundaries, is a protection of yourself.

Don't cross the line. Don't let others cross the line. Don't arbitrarily direct or interfere in other people's affairs. And don't be controlled by other people's thinking. Protect your legitimate rights.

4. Take responsibility.

If you want a relationship, you have to be willing to take the plunge. You have to be ready to face the consequences of a breakup, family responsibilities, the obligation to raise and educate children, and the obligation to provide for them.

You can only shoulder important responsibilities, make progress, and withstand the test of love by taking responsibility.

Questioner, become a good person, develop a positive outlook on life and marriage, correct your misconceptions, set clear boundaries for yourself, and embrace your willingness to take on various responsibilities. You will find your own love when you do these things.

I wish the questioner happiness and joy!

Dear student, I hope my reply can help and support you.

You seem like a kind child, already in your thirties, always caring about your parents' feelings and ignoring your own real needs. You must have suffered a lot of restrictions in your original family. The fact that you have the courage to write this out is also the beginning of your change.

In your thirties, you have the right to choose your own life. It's important for your own well-being. This is something many Chinese parents struggle with when it comes to their children. You want to obey your parents, but you also want to be yourself. It can feel like a protest against your parents, but it's really a way of breaking free from the constraints of your relationship with them.

It doesn't matter if you care about appearance or choose an honest person. These are just appearances because people are the products of their environment. As the environment changes and the way people around you treat you changes, you must believe that it is difficult to change others, but changing yourself is instantaneous. When we have some conflicts in choosing a spouse, try to return to your true heart. What do you want? What do you worry about? Feel it with your body, not judge it with your brain. Distinguish between needs and facts.

Every child is subject to their parents. You've grown up and now you're looking for a friend who is the complete opposite of your parents. It is only natural to want to do things better than the previous generation. Make brave choices and face them positively. Even if you are wrong, what does it matter? Life is here to be experienced. You can only grow by experiencing and then reflecting on your experiences.

The impact of one's family of origin on one's personality is significant. It's important to return what belongs to your parents, as it's their right. There's more to come. Showing your parents the greatest filial piety is to make yourself happy and be rich within. Reassure your parents.

You'll be able to connect deeply with others, discover and improve yourself in contact, meet your needs in life, express yourself reasonably in words, and be rich in the inner self. You'll truly become an emotionally independent person with an independent personality and behavior, and you'll be able to control your own life. This will attract more people to be close to you and choose the friends who are most suitable for you.

Do you wish him the best?

At the age of 30, when you go on a blind date, you may find yourself thinking about your mother's advice on choosing a spouse. This can sometimes lead to feelings of conflict, even to the point where you may feel angry. It's understandable that such internal psychological conflict can affect your personal physical and mental health. I hope that the following sharing can, to some extent, broaden your thinking and provide some support as you deal with your current distress:

First, it may be helpful to consider whether there are any aspects of your mother's marriage advice that you find conflicting with your own. This could potentially involve addressing or resolving an unaddressed mother-daughter issue.

First, it may be helpful to consider whether there are any unresolved issues between you and your mother that could be influencing your understanding of her marriage advice.

I have never been in a relationship, largely due to a concern that I might be abandoned.

You may be experiencing feelings of fear of being abandoned and uncertainty about the long-term stability of an intimate relationship. These emotions can make it challenging to fully engage in intimate relationships and may also affect your perception and understanding of yourself.

Your mother's advice is based on her understanding of men in her era, as well as her feelings and experiences in her own life. This well-intentioned concern has made you, who has not experienced love but has your own thoughts, even more conflicted and at a loss.

If you find yourself in a situation where you and your mother have differing opinions, it's important to recognize that the root of the issue may not be the opinion itself, but rather the underlying challenges in your relationship. These differences can often be more subtle and easier to address when discussing a topic like choosing a spouse.

Secondly, it is possible that the mother's advice is based on her personal experience and her concern for your well-being. However, it is up to you to decide whether her advice is relevant to your situation.

As a 30-year-old adult, I have my own criteria for choosing a partner in a relationship, which differ from my mother's. This discrepancy reflects the nuances that arise when two individuals with their own perspectives and experiences approach a similar situation.

One area where there may be some differences is in how you identify with your mother.

If you were to reject your mother's advice entirely, it would undoubtedly help to resolve the internal conflict. However, it is not so simple as that. You cannot reject your mother's advice completely, and you cannot make your own choice with the same certainty.

The constant back and forth can be exhausting, and it may not be helpful to bang on the wall.

Given that you have never been in a relationship, there is a possibility that you may make an unwise choice, which could cause you anxiety and make you reluctant to accept responsibility for your decision.

However, it is important to recognize that no choice is foolproof. Even if you follow someone else's advice, you may still have to face the consequences of any outcomes you do not want to experience.

When you take all of this into account, you may find yourself with a little more space to reflect on the challenges you are currently facing.

Ultimately, resistance to marriage can present challenges in intimate relationships. A more comprehensive and systematic approach may offer insights into potential solutions.

Finally, resistance to marriage is a challenge that can arise in intimate relationships. A more in-depth and systematic exploration may offer insights into potential solutions.

From having different ideas from your mother's matchmaking advice to feeling overwhelmed and experiencing strong emotions, it's clear that there are many feelings inside you that have been kept hidden and unresolved.

The conflict over choosing a spouse is just one aspect of the deeper issues you have faced in your intimate relationships, and these challenges will also influence your future life.

If it is feasible for you, you might consider finding a professional counselor who specializes in intimate relationships or the original family to accompany you as you navigate your current challenges. This could potentially provide you with a more comprehensive understanding of your inner and outer difficulties, which might then enable you to make your own decisions.

It is my sincere hope that the above sharing will prove to be an inspiration to you.

I am a psychologist who focuses on the emotional aspects of human nature rather than exploring it in depth. I wish you well.

Hello, host! I'm thrilled to answer your question. From what you've shared, it seems like you have some unique standards for your ideal match. You're drawn to someone who is good-looking and has a certain material foundation, while your mother has a different perspective. She believes that someone who is good-looking might not be as trustworthy as you initially thought. It's an interesting contrast!

First, you mentioned your father, who you think is too honest. You don't want to find a man like your father as your partner — and why would you? You deserve so much more!

In our romantic lives, the way we get along with our opposite-sex elders is reflected at every moment. When you were a child, your relationship with your father was not very harmonious. Now that you are 30 years old, you still don't have much experience dealing with adult men. But that's okay! Since your father did not give you enough strength and security in your mind, you also do not have a realistic and stable goal for your selection criteria for a spouse. That means you get to decide what's important to you and choose a spouse who aligns with your values. You are hesitant and wavering between your own goals and your mother's standards, but that's a great place to be!

It's time to get real about your core requirements! As an adult, you have the power to make your own demands. Your mother's demands can be used as a reference, but you're the one who gets to decide what's right for you.

If you're not sure what you want, you can use the model of a good marriage as a template! You can find this in your colleagues, classmates, and relatives.

The five parts of a modern marriage are love (activity), reproduction, economy, growth, and companionship. Three points are the hardware standards that determine who you will be with, growth and companionship, and provide more emotional value. They are the software parts that determine the time you spend with him.

The great news is that you can evaluate and score your marriage in these five parts. And you can even find out your core needs for marriage!

I'm thrilled to have an appointment! 1983. The world and I love you!

Hello, Orange. I'm happy to answer your question.

You and your mother have different views on marriage partners.

You value good looks and want to find someone different from your father, someone who is not honest.

Your mother thinks you should be honest and value material things when choosing a spouse.

You want to follow your heart but are afraid of rebelling against your mother.

When you can't follow your heart, you get angry and bang your fists against the wall. This is nothing to worry about. It's just an act of catharsis.

It's okay to talk about it. It doesn't need to be a problem. It can help you feel better. You might just need to let go of some things.

Your behavior is fine, but you have a lot of anxiety and depression. You need counseling.

Blind dates are for marriage, but they can also go through the stages of a relationship. They are not mutually exclusive.

If you want to satisfy both, fall in love with the person you have a good feeling about.

You lack security. Your mother's upbringing made you guarded and difficult to open up.

Talk to a close friend.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes! Love,

Good day.

I'm trying to understand your current problem. First, I'd like to know why you have so much conflict and anger inside. Second, when faced with the family's pressure to get married, you are reluctant and don't want to marry just for the sake of it. Instead, you long for marriage based on love. How should you deal with this conflict?

If I might suggest, these two questions are essentially one and the same. If the first question is viewed in a more general sense, the second question represents a specific manifestation of the first. It could be said that there is an inner conflict between two voices: one that suggests obedience to the arrangements of one's family, and another that desires to be one's own master.

Anger can often arise from a sense of being unable to resist the influence of family members, let alone express one's own thoughts to them. It's possible that being urged to get married and meet your future in-laws is just one aspect of a more passive way of life.

It seems that you may have suppressed a number of emotions from previous experiences, which may have gradually accumulated until today, when you find yourself holding them in your hand, unsure of how to direct them.

After understanding your inner conflict and anger, I'm not sure what your thoughts and ideas are about the second issue at hand. I believe that "following one's heart" is not a simple sentence that can change reality.

I believe there have been many instances in your life when you have experienced challenges, felt helpless, and had to accept things. However, it is encouraging to see that your anger indicates inner strength and a strong desire for change.

If this is the case, it might be helpful to start by identifying your own thoughts and clarifying what they are. It's worth noting that your own thoughts are not necessarily the opposite of the family's thoughts. They may simply represent your own true thoughts and feelings.

Once you have made your wishes clear, it would be beneficial to consider how you might express them. You may find it helpful to try out different ways of communicating and developing new modes of communication within the family.

This process may be challenging and time-consuming, but it is also incredibly meaningful, as you are taking the reins of your own life.

If I might make a suggestion, I think we can all agree that we should try to come on together.

Hello! Hug yourself first, then take three deep breaths to relax.

Let's talk about it.

From reading your words, I can tell you are anxious, entangled, conflicted, and in a dilemma. Here are the manifestations:

First, you keep setting up blind dates, but you are afraid to fall in love. You need to stop making excuses and start taking the plunge. Conflict

Second, you want to find a lover, but you're worried about being broken up with and abandoned. You haven't entered a relationship yet, but you've already predicted the outcome.

Third, their mother's standards for choosing a spouse are different from theirs, but they refuse to ignore their mother's opinion. Who will bear the responsibility if something goes wrong? This is a lifelong matter, and it's too big. Conflict

Fourth, people who like good-looking people are afraid of being cheated on. People who don't like honest people are always bullied because their father is an honest man. Conflict

Let me be frank: you are too difficult to pin down. How do you find a partner?

Tell me, how do you talk about this relationship?

You need to figure out who is looking for a partner, who is ready to fall in love, and who will actually be living the future together. You also need to decide what good looks means to you, what honesty means to you, what you really want in a relationship, and what will support you in marriage.

You need to think these issues through before you do anything. If your parents are responsible for your food, clothing, and shelter, you really need to think about it.

This is something you need to think about.

Hello, question asker!

Your question made it clear to me that you're confused. You haven't been in a relationship at 30, and you feel lost and helpless. I'm here to tell you that you're not alone.

You're 30, and you're already considered marriageable. That's why everyone thinks you have to get married if you go on a blind date. But there's still a hurdle in your heart. We haven't found the right person, haven't been in love, and haven't found anyone who meets the criteria.

In this situation, there's no way we can be happy. There's no way we can marry just for the sake of marriage. I understand your feelings right now, your hatred and anger, and how you can only vent by banging on the wall. You are really suffering, so I hug you again!

I believe your current behavior is a normal psychological reaction, and there is nothing wrong with it. We all have our own pursuits, and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone loves beauty. Who wants to look for looks?

This is normal, and mom's worries are justified. But we can't let worry stop us from doing this. For example, if someone chokes on their food, that doesn't mean we shouldn't eat every day.

And then there are good-looking people, but they are not necessarily unreliable. You can't generalize. If someone is not good-looking and not honest, we lose out. So what do you think?

It's understandable to have your own point of view. Besides, there's a saying that it doesn't matter if someone is good-looking or not, as long as they have good eyes.

You say you don't want to find someone as honest as your father. I don't know what you've been through, but I know your father is honest. You say his honesty has given you a negative impression of honest people, but I think you're wrong. If you're struggling, I suggest you see a professional counselor.

I strongly believe that seeing a counselor would be beneficial for you. They could provide valuable advice on your so-called teacher and help you analyze why you have such an impression. What are your thoughts on honest people?

Is it really so bad to look for an honest person like your father?

Your father's subconscious mind may have a profound influence on you, so you should resolve this issue. Think about it: when we first meet someone, or even after just a couple of times, we always think they're honest because they let their guard down right away.

You should always go on blind dates, believing that people are honest, but never getting to know them deeply. This will cause some people to be aggrieved, meaning you will miss out on some otherwise suitable partners. You need to untie this knot!

You need to loosen this knot in your heart and allow the person you meet after the blind date to interact with you. This will give them the chance to show you their full personality, which will help you to get to know them better. This will increase our chances of making a choice.

You will find your ideal partner soon, and you will enjoy the beauty of life!

The world and I love you!

Why is it that a blind date is always for marriage? Can it be just for the sake of falling in love?

Or maybe blind dates are just a thing, and you can enjoy the process during the date. Perhaps your mother had some value standards in her day and felt that honest people are the best.

But it seems that honest people can actually suffer quite easily these days. They often don't have the best material conditions and are also easily ostracized by others in the workplace. However, in terms of the infidelity rate, everyone probably thinks that honest people are less likely to cheat because they are honest and hardworking.

It's the kind of life that seems a bit cold, but is actually very respectful and modest, with no other demands or whims. Your mother also keeps telling you what to do and how to do it, and you're worried inside that you'll be abandoned. But in fact, it's really hard to get in a relationship that doesn't end.

Nobody can be sure that their relationship won't end in divorce. There are just too many variables. You're now 30 years old and single, and you've never been in a relationship. Maybe you're afraid of failure. But why be afraid of failure?

If we never fail, we'll never gain any experience.

Is this kind of experience really what you want? You need to plan ahead, and if it doesn't work out, you can understand and accept it yourself.

That way, it might be better. Material requirements are only one aspect of the criteria for choosing a spouse. As for values, we can refer to them, but we shouldn't blindly follow the requirements of others for a partner.

For example, you want to honor your parents, be motivated, kind, diligent, have a stable job, be good to yourself, not spend your days drinking and partying, and have good living habits. You actually have some thoughts of your own, don't you? What you don't want is probably the opposite or something different.

Then just go in that direction. If you don't experience it, you'll never know what you really want or what the other person wants. It's not always a one-way street. Sometimes, someone else chooses you, or it could be a mutual choice.

It's worth noting that blind dates aren't always about marriage. They're just one aspect of dating, and not every date will end in success.

So keep an ordinary attitude towards life, and you can go further. It's also a good idea to let yourself experience some inner feelings. I'd recommend that you seek psychological counseling to gain a better experience.

You might also want to check out "Eight Dates for Love: Creating Lifelong Intimacy," "Emotional Extortion," "The Five Languages of Love," and "A Little Philosophy in Love." Best of luck!

ZQ?

Dear Question Asker, I am Warm-hearted Girl 1219, and I am honored to respond to your inquiry about Yi Xinli.

From my careful reading of your description, it is evident that a conflict exists between you and your mother regarding your choice of spouse. Your mother's preference is for you to find a suitable husband who is honest, responsible, and capable of managing the household, whereas your own preference is for a spouse who is good-looking.

Your mother asserts that individuals perceived as handsome often possess numerous options and exhibit a proclivity for infidelity. It is therefore prudent to heed her counsel. As a woman of experience, she is well-positioned to advise you on the necessity of a husband who can provide stability in your life, similar to your father.

The following suggestions are offered for your consideration and reference:

It is recommended that you communicate with your mother in a patient and respectful manner, allowing her to express her thoughts.

It can be reasonably assumed that every mother loves her children. Therefore, it is advisable to communicate one's thoughts with such a mother in a patient manner.

It can be argued that the influence of film and television dramas has contributed to the perception that girls prefer handsome guys. The casting of attractive actors and actresses in roles that are designed to appeal to a broad audience may have contributed to this perception.

It is important to note that in reality, the majority of men do not conform to the idealized images that many women hold in their fantasies. It is crucial to embrace reality and seek out a down-to-earth, good man with whom to spend one's life.

A man of integrity is reliable, devoted, and faithful.

2. A man who is average in appearance, dependable, and oriented toward family is the most reliable.

Despite the prevalence of the assertion that women are drawn to men of a certain physical attractiveness, there is a prevailing sense of caution when it comes to the selection of a life partner. After all, the decision to marry often entails a commitment to live together for decades.

It is possible that you are not seeking an honest person because you have not yet discovered the goodness of such a man. In fact, such a man is the most reliable, and who does not desire a stable life?

While handsome men are undoubtedly aesthetically pleasing, a good husband is a refined product of a long and stable marriage. A man who is good-looking but possesses a terrible character is, therefore, an unfortunate choice for a partner.

3. The quality of one's character is of greater consequence than one's outward appearance.

During one's formative years in an academic setting, educators would often espouse the notion that one should refrain from judging others based on superficial characteristics and instead focus on discerning their inner beauty.

Some individuals may possess physical beauty but exhibit poor character traits, which can ultimately diminish their appeal. Conversely, individuals who are less physically attractive may possess admirable qualities that enhance their appeal. When interacting with others, it is essential to prioritize heart-to-heart communication.

Similarly, the success of a marriage depends on the sincerity of the individuals involved.

In the contemporary era, the incidence of divorce is exceedingly high, and mothers are understandably concerned about the stability of their children's marriages. They aspire for their offspring to lead uncomplicated lives.

She is concerned that you may deviate from the path she believes is best for you.

It is my contention that with the passage of time, one's perspective on the ideal partner will become increasingly sophisticated.

It is my hope that my response has been of some assistance to you.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon find the individual with whom you wish to establish a long-term relationship.

At Yixinli, we extend our deepest affection to you.

Hello! When I saw your question, I was moved to offer some thoughts on the matter.

It can be challenging to find the right person to spend your life with when you haven't yet experienced love.

You have a clear understanding of the material aspects that are important to you in a partner. However, you are uncertain about the qualities you should look for in a person to achieve greater happiness.

Parents often offer advice out of the best intentions, but ultimately, you are the one who has to bear the consequences of your choice. Because you lack practical experience, you are confused, powerless, and unsure of how to be true to yourself and how to have a life that pleases you and satisfies others. You may be carrying the expectations and suggestions of your family, the expectations of women in society and culture, as well as your own imagination and worries about the future.

I believe that choosing different people means living different lives. I think you can sort it out and figure out what kind of person you like and what kind of life you choose. For example, what does it mean to choose someone who is "honest" or "dishonest"? What consequences will there be for yourself and your family?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the option of postponing the decision for a while. It seems that your reservations about marriage are largely influenced by external factors, and it might be beneficial to allow yourself some time to reflect and explore your own motivations and aspirations.

If you are reluctant to do so, it might lead to feelings of resentment and disappointment, regardless of your final decision.

I can see that you really want to be yourself, but I understand that you're still not quite sure what you specifically need, what kind of person you should look for, or what kind of life you want to lead. I believe that you should slowly confirm and summarize these things in practice. However, I also think that you should have some ideal aspirations for intimate relationships. I understand that because of your inner insecurity and lack of self-confidence, you are reluctant to really get involved with someone.

I believe that regardless of the final outcome, whether you get married or not, or what kind of person you choose to marry, it is important to face and resolve your inner fears and worries about intimacy at some point. By letting go of these inner burdens, we can become someone who makes both ourselves and others feel comfortable, and who is nourished in our relationships and has a better life.

If your mother didn't tell you off and there were no conflicts, would you still be angry and resistant? Maybe not.

Good looks don't mean honesty, and honesty doesn't mean good looks. It's just an impression. If this is the only thing you consider, it's simple.

You need to decide which criteria you can rely on and which you feel are sufficient. This includes your own "good-looking but not dishonest" or "good-looking but lively" criteria.

Believe in your standards when choosing a spouse.

You don't know what kind of person you want or how to find one. You keep going on blind dates, but you're just not sure what you're looking for.

In the face of uncertainty, it seems that you have to make a rash choice, and it is normal to feel helpless, angry, and sad when making such an important decision.

The standards of others or your own are not set in stone. What else should you consider when choosing a spouse?

Think about what's most important to you and marriage. Is it the person themselves or external attributes like finance, family, career, education, etc.?

.

What should you look for in a person? For example, values, personality, and temperament. Decide what's important to you and what's not.

You have to choose what to buy at the market, but you should know which vegetables are good and which you don't like. Don't say you've never eaten pork. You're 30 and you've seen pigs.

People are unpredictable. There's nothing absolute or guaranteed. Believe in your own judgment.

People are difficult to define. They change and can seem contradictory. There's no guarantee of invincibility, but everyone wants certainty.

You can ask others for advice, but you have to make the decisions. It's like getting married. You have to choose your partner, and there will be a lot of advice. But only you know how each other looks. You need your own vision and judgment.

You should be cautious and strong because things can change.

Look at a person's values.

Values are a stable foundation for judging someone's character. A person's words and deeds can give a rough indication of their inner being, especially in the case of a third party.

You say you don't know your inner values. This means you haven't thought about what kind of person the other person should be. Think carefully about what kind of person you want. If your mother's honesty is seen as "kind," I think that's a good standard.

If you haven't talked, you haven't talked. You don't have to get married and have kids. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. You can't just abandon someone. Don't get married right away. Blind dates are about getting to know each other. Being in love means getting to know each other deeply. If it doesn't work out, you can switch. You have a long life ahead of you.

I wish you happiness.

Hello, questioner.

Your timidity and indecision during the dating process are clearly related to the confusion brought about by your internal views on choosing a spouse.

From your description, it is clear that you are an obedient and well-behaved daughter. You are now facing the important event of your life: a marriage arranged by your parents.

You are torn between your own choices and your mother's teachings, which are in direct conflict with one another.

When you can't express this kind of entanglement and conflict, you feel angry and helpless.

I don't know what kind of person you are, what your upbringing was like, or what your relationship with your parents is like.

You and your mother are from two different eras. She is out of touch with the modern world.

She is trying to protect your interests, but her traditional concepts of ethics and morality

This is why you are so confused and helpless.

Your resistance to marriage is an invisible and silent rejection of your mother. It's an attempt to express your

Your mother is discontented.

You must resolve the emotions that cause conflict within you to resolve your major relationship and marriage issues.

I'm sure you're aware of this.

You are like an adolescent child, wanting to rebel, and you will break free from yourself.

You want to live as your true self, but your mother's interference and control make it difficult for you to do so.

From a dynamic perspective, you must analyze both sides.

First, we must consider the impact of separation and individuation.

You and your mother are in a symbiotic state with no boundaries. This means that subconsciously, you always long to be with your mother.

If you form an attachment and dependence on your mother, it is only natural that you cannot succeed in love. To be successful in love and get married and start a family, you must separate from your mother.

This means separation from your mother. This is the part of your subconscious you fear the most, and it's time to face it.

Your uncertainty about the second dating criteria and rejection of your father have created resistance to the opposite sex.

Your post makes it clear that you don't accept or approve of your father. This is undoubtedly tied to your desire to "get back at" your mother for controlling you.

From a practical standpoint, you are also unable to choose a suitable partner.

You need to break the ice.

First, you need to become an independent self.

You must "forego the pleasure" of choosing how to live independently from your mother. To do this,

You must have the courage to challenge yourself and to accept the choices you make.

Start with small things. Do things you've never done before. Do them independently. Experience things.

You need to make sure you have some new experiences under your belt. Get out there and meet people of the opposite sex of different ages in a safe state.

Second, you must learn to say "no" to your mother.

When you bravely express your feelings and refuse your mother's helpless demands, it means you have personal independence.

This will help you and your mother establish a clear boundary. You are an independent adult, and your mother is your mother. You must take responsibility for your own life.

Third, I am the master of my own love.

If Cupid comes to you again and you feel timid and hesitant, you need to remind yourself:

I am a thirty-year-old adult, and I am responsible for myself. I will no longer be afraid and resist like a child.

I am responsible for my own feelings and needs. My mother cannot replace me!

The above analysis and suggestions are for reference only due to the limitations of the data involved.

I am counselor Yao, and I will continue to support and care for you!

Hello, my dear friend!

I'm a heart exploration coach, and I believe that learning is the treasure of the body.

From what you've told me, I can really feel how you're struggling inside. It's so hard when you're in conflict, feeling dissatisfied, angry, worried, in pain and helpless.

I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty of your dating troubles here, but I'd love to share three little tips that might help.

I think the first thing you should do is try to understand and accept your current state of mind.

Because doing so will make your heart feel a little bit lighter, which will help you think about what to do next.

You're 30 years old, single, and afraid to fall in love because you're afraid of being broken up with and abandoned. You keep going on blind dates, but you have conflicts within yourself because your mother's and your own standards for choosing a spouse are different. This makes you feel very confused, dissatisfied, resentful, and painful. It's totally understandable! Most girls' standards for choosing a spouse are influenced by their mothers. Your conflict may lie in your fear of not listening to your mother and your fear of suffering if you do. But you don't really want to do what your mother says, including your reluctance to find someone like your father. You may feel that honest people are bullied (your father may have been controlled and bullied by your mother, and you may also have been controlled by your mother, so the resentment in your heart may be directed at your highly controlling mother, or it may be directed at your honest father, whom you feel is too weak and powerless). Not to mention that you've never been in a relationship, and you're also worried about the uncertainty of love.

So, you have to try to understand and accept yourself. See that painful self within you who is conflicted but temporarily doesn't know what to do. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things. Otherwise, your mind will always be filled with all kinds of

It's so important to give yourself the space to try to understand and accept yourself. This will help you to embrace change in your current situation. I know it might sound a bit strange, but it's true! Change is all about allowing for no change.

Secondly, I'd like to suggest that you take a moment to view your own state in a rational way.

Rational thinking is a great way to help you understand yourself and reality better.

To look at it rationally, there are just two simple things you can do:

It's so important to understand that marriage is your own, and your own criteria for choosing a spouse is the most important.

You said that your criteria for choosing a spouse is different from your mother's. I totally get it! Marriage is your own, and in the end, the person you choose needs to live with you. So, your mother's criteria for choosing a spouse can be a great reference point, but your own criteria for choosing a spouse is the most important.

Secondly, remember that you have the power to change the status quo because you can change.

When you put your own ideas into action, your outlook will shift. Even if you've never been in love, you can still invest time and energy in learning. You might not know how to navigate relationships yet, but you can learn. You might not know exactly what kind of guy you want, but you can slowly figure it out. So, remember your own strengths and the power of time.

Third, I really think you should focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a good, honest look at your own situation, you might just find the answers you're looking for. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do a good job.

Take a moment to think about what you're looking for in a spouse. You mentioned material requirements and good looks, which are great! However, you also said you don't like honest people, so it's important to ask yourself exactly what kind of person you like. The more specific you can be, the better! It's easy to find someone who fits these criteria if they're very general, but it's harder if you're looking for something very specific. It's also important to avoid idealizing your own criteria for choosing a spouse. You can't want everything! Take a moment to think about what you care about most, what comes second, what comes third, and what you can care less about. This is how you'll find your perfect match!

It might also help to ask yourself where all that resentment and hatred in your heart comes from. Is it from your mother, father, or somewhere else? Once you've figured that out, you might feel better. That's because once you know what's causing it, you can find a way to fix it.

You can also remind yourself that you can learn to love slowly when you're afraid of not having been in love. Look at the people around you who are already in love or married. See what they do, learn from them, and read some related books, such as "The Art of Love" and "Intimacy." You can also remind yourself that even if you break up in the end, it just means that you and your partner are not suitable for each other. It does not mean that you are not good enough or not worthy of love. You are a unique person, and you are inherently good enough and worthy of love. This may also make you less resistant to falling in love and getting married.

You can also make a summary of your parents' marriage, find the good parts, and learn from them. You can even use the bad parts as negative examples! This may also help you learn some skills for managing your love life.

When you start taking action, all kinds of negative emotions in your heart will naturally be resolved gradually. I know it can be scary to enter a relationship, but remember that sometimes the enemy of all kinds of negative emotions is action. You can do this!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you'd like to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach for an online conversation" at the bottom and we can have a one-on-one chat.