A female university student in a relationship for 4 years who complains every time he asks her to go out with him?
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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
I am a female college student. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years, and we have just finished our first year of college. During that time, we have had countless arguments, and recently they have become more and more intense. In the first three years, we basically didn't speak because high school didn't allow dating, and we had a fairly pleasant time together, except that he has ADHD and is particularly messy, and in high school he often messed around with a girl. We had a big fight over that girl, and afterwards I was the one who lowered my head first.
In college, we became more and more familiar with each other, and we also fought more and more fiercely. I was sometimes very headstrong, and I probably also lacked a father's love in particular. I really hope that he can spend time with me when he has time, but he really doesn't like going out of the dormitory. He especially likes to lie in bed, and every time I ask him to go out with me, he has a whole lot of complaints. Over time, there were more and more problems between us. I like to cry, and he said that I made him really annoyed when I cried. I really don't know what to do now.
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Comments
I can understand how frustrating and hurtful this situation must be for you. It seems like your relationship has gone through a lot of changes, especially transitioning from high school to college. Communication is key in any relationship, and it's important to express your feelings openly but also listen to his side.
It sounds like both of you have been through a lot together, and while the distance between you during high school might have made things easier at the time, being closer now has brought up new challenges. Maybe it's time to consider talking about what each of you needs from the relationship and see if you're on the same page.
The fact that you've stayed with him despite the arguments shows there's something strong holding you two together. Have you thought about seeking counseling? Sometimes having a neutral third party can really help clear the air and provide strategies for better communication.
I feel for you, dealing with all these emotions and trying to reconcile them with what you want from your relationship. It's okay to have moments where you feel lost or unsure. Perhaps taking a step back to reflect on what you truly desire can give you some clarity on the way forward.
It's not easy when one person wants more social interaction than the other. It sounds like your boyfriend's habits are really affecting your happiness. Have you tried discussing setting small goals or compromises, like going out once a week just for the two of you? Compromise can be a powerful tool in relationships.