A university graduate who is a single mother. What if you feel ashamed of looking for a partner?

You are now in tune with your inner thoughts, and you have the power to embrace your true self. You feel that love is a beautiful, sacred thing, and you know that there is a kind of love that is truly worthy of your heart. These are some of the experiences and thoughts that your personal journey has brought to you.

You have some amazing experiences from your own growth. You can really explore those experiences of your past, including your own experiences in your family of origin, so that you can truly understand what thoughts and feelings you need for yourself. We still have to learn to regulate ourselves, and it's going to be a great journey!

♠You graduated from university and are single all your life. This is your time to shine!

♠You will also reject and regret meeting someone you like.

♠The family starts to pressure you to go out to dinner, turning it into a blind date

✤✤✤✤✤✤ Let's dive deep into the world of shame!

✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤

You also added the other person's WeChat after a blind date, but if they make any further moves, it will be a big surprise!

Internal rejection and hidden shame trauma run rampant!

Rejecting others is also a rejection of relationships—and that's okay!

Let's explore how past experiences shape who we are today!

If you don't accept love in your heart, it may end up causing you a lot of pain and make you not want to continue. This is also very confusing. But don't worry! There's a simple solution. All you have to do is accept love in your heart. Once you do, you'll feel a lot better.

Maybe someone once said something that made you feel that love wasn't for you. Maybe you even thought love was shameful and that you'd be ashamed. It's totally normal to have these thoughts! But now it's time to let them go. You've got this! You also have some thoughts of your own.

It may not be 100% resistance, and there are still some levels that crave the support and nourishment of love from the other person, which is great! This means you also need to look at your own attachment patterns in your original family, and what kind of faithful, passionate, and long-lasting love you crave, which is an exciting opportunity to explore!

Does it mean that you simply don't believe that there will ever be complete fidelity and lasting love in the world? Admittedly, the divorce rate is high nowadays because everyone can meet better people more easily, and a single trip on the subway can take you to several potential partners—it's a great time to be alive!

You have a job and an income, and your parents are healthy. These are all necessities of life, and you've got them all! When you're ready to accept a new relationship, it's time to take a good look at your own thoughts. I highly recommend that you take the Psychological Test for Original Family Wounds and the Psychological Test for the Underlying Themes of Love. These tests will help you understand if past experiences have shaped your views on love and provide you with a one-on-one interpretation. Best of luck!

ZQ?

Hello. I can see from your description that you are troubled. Before discussing the problem, if you allow, I would like to offer you a gesture of warmth and support.

You say you "feel ashamed of finding a partner." Have you considered the possibility that your feelings may be tied to a specific reason? It's also important to distinguish between your desire and your ability to find a partner. These are two different aspects that may require different solutions.

The former is a matter of attitude and thinking. To solve the problem, you may find it helpful to start by changing your thinking. The latter is relatively simple: you could perhaps consider learning some methods and strategies for interacting with people, helping yourself establish a good interactive relationship with others, and enhancing your feelings through constant interaction.

You say that you are not completely resistant, but at the same time you feel like something is holding you back, something intangible that makes you feel ashamed. You don't want to take that step, you don't want to associate with the opposite sex, and you don't want to be the one walking hand in hand with someone in front of your elders one day. I think I will die of shame." If this is the case, it might be helpful to explore the deeper reasons that trigger this psychological feeling in you.

If you feel it would be helpful, you might consider seeking the guidance of a psychological counselor. They can assist you in understanding the problem, exploring its causes, and finding a solution.

The above are just my personal views, for reference only. I hope you take care of yourself.

Good morning! I hope you're having a great day. I wanted to answer your question, so I looked up what it means to be a "mother-child single." I realized that I'm actually pretty traditional and have the same attitude towards love as you. To be honest, I'm still a "mother-child single" even though I've graduated from university. On the bright side, I'm a girl with a lot of self-esteem and self-discipline in today's society.

First of all, from what you've written, it seems like you might feel a bit shy about falling in love and marrying someone of the opposite sex. I totally get it! This might be related to something you went through during your teenage years or even when you were younger. It's possible you didn't notice it or even experience it when you were young and have forgotten about it.

Or perhaps it's just not the right time to talk about it here.

Secondly, you mentioned that you have also tried to make an effort to break through, but it didn't work out. Don't worry! My suggestion is not to be too goal-oriented at once. Start as ordinary friends and communicate slowly.

For instance, if you love shopping or a certain sport, it might be a great idea to try doing it with a male friend. This could help you to gradually break down any inhibitions you have.

Third, it's true that long-term, faithful love is pretty rare in real life. It'll probably turn into family love at some point. Family love is the most precious kind of love, so it's good to remember that falling in love is a compulsory course, as your university teachers probably told you!

You know, only by breaking through and trying can you change and improve yourself from love, gradually mature, and eventually transform from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

I can see that you are very respectful of your elders and have high expectations of yourself. You are a person who loves life very much. If you can break through the defense of love, I believe your life will definitely be more perfect. Good luck!

I'm so happy to have connected with you! I'm a member of the Personal Public Account: A Young Person with a Pretentious Air (ID: qingnianJIA2020), and I'm really looking forward to staying in touch.

Yi Xinli Answering Questions Hall Mutual Aid Community, the World and I Love You >> https://m.xinli001.com/qa

My name is Gu Yi, and I am modest and self-effacing, with a tendency toward consistency.

From your description, it is evident that you are seeking a change and a breakthrough. Additionally, it is apparent that you have placed limitations on yourself.

The individual who initiated the relationship must ultimately terminate it.

The specific nature of the memories associated with one's family is not known, but they have resulted in the formation of highly rigid attitudes towards emotional morality. This form of understanding constrains and restricts the scope of one's thoughts, leading to a sense of overwhelming guilt and condemnation in the slightest action. As previously stated, engaging in casual conversations on a dating app like WeChat is perceived as acceptable, but the transition to a more serious and committed relationship is met with trepidation and excessive concern. The prospect of entering into a romantic relationship with a member of the opposite sex evokes feelings of apprehension and anxiety, particularly in the face of external scrutiny and judgment.

This will place a significant psychological burden on the individual.

Even in the absence of fault, one may experience a sense of unease regarding the acceptability of a relationship between a man and a woman, or the idea of a man and a woman forming a relationship. This unease may be the result of an overabundance of factors influencing one's perception of such behavior, leading to a sense of self-imposed restriction. When attempting to take a step forward, one may experience a sense of apprehension, fear, and anxiety, which can impede the ability to fully engage with one's inner feelings and experiences.

It can be reasonably deduced that the solution to this problem lies in one's own comprehension of these worldly matters, as well as in the correction of one's own understanding. It is necessary to adjust one's perceptions of the past few decades. Love is something that everyone desires to experience, but it also requires a certain amount of fate and effort to obtain. This is a natural phenomenon. One can first accept love in one's own perceptions, then allow oneself to experience it, and finally encourage oneself to take the first step. It is then possible to observe and record one's mood changes at every moment, make comparisons, and truly take the first step on one's own.

The question thus arises as to how this step can be taken.

The reconstruction of emotional concepts is a crucial step in understanding the nuances of love. There are numerous forms of relationships in the world, with family, friendship, and love being the most prevalent. The crux of the matter is to ascertain the questioner's precise notion of love. It is plausible that one's conceptualization of love is shaped by various factors, including one's living environment, interpersonal dynamics with close relatives, and external influences. These factors may give rise to idealized notions of love and impose behavioral constraints. While one may accept love as an emotional state, there might be a discrepancy between this acceptance and one's understanding of the practical aspects of love. This underscores the need for a nuanced and multifaceted approach to understanding love and its various manifestations.

The formation of familial values.

Now that you have graduated and are working, it is time to start a family of your own. The parental home is the original family unit, a place that provides protection. As we mature, we should learn to gradually become independent from our original family, while also being able to effectively support our original family.

I wish you the best of success.

Greetings.

Although I am unaware of the circumstances that have led you to feel "ashamed of being in contact with the opposite sex," I extend to you my utmost support and encouragement.

Childhood experiences can have a profound impact on an individual's psychological development.

I am unaware of your personal history, but I previously shared your apprehensions about forming close relationships with the opposite sex. I even experienced physical discomfort when my roommate discussed her positive interactions with her romantic partner. Subsequently, I consulted with a professional counselor and discovered that my aversion to close relationships was rooted in my childhood experiences. I had frequently observed my parents engaged in heated arguments and altercations, which instilled in me a sense of distrust and apprehension towards romantic relationships. My father's conduct towards my mother was particularly troubling, contributing to my internalized fear of intimacy.

It is my contention that men in love and marriage are unreliable. Our brains react instinctively to protect us from danger.

It is unclear whether the respondent had a similar childhood experience or observed unhappy marriages and infidelity among older individuals, which may have influenced their views.

It is essential to accept oneself as one is and to permit oneself to evade intimate relationships.

I concur with your assessment. Attaining a stable position, an independent income stream, and a supportive familial environment is a commendable objective.

A few decades is a substantial period of time, and it is reasonable to assume that one can take their time in making such a decision. It is also possible to get married at 30 or 35.

Marriage is not a mandatory aspect of life; it is an optional one. Professor Yan Ning of Tsinghua University, a renowned figure in academia, is in her forties and has not yet entered into matrimony. She is a non-maritalist who frequently tweets about pursuing celebrity relationships. This is also a viable lifestyle choice.

The subject frequently engages in disputes with others. Despite being unmarried, she exhibits a high level of contentment. This is the outcome she desires most, and her reluctance to interact with the opposite sex is merely a temporary phenomenon. Therefore, it is advisable to refrain from initiating contact with them.

It is acceptable to acknowledge that we do not have to make things more challenging for ourselves. It is advisable to work diligently, earn income, and allocate time for interaction with one's parents.

This is an encouraging sign. It is possible that, with time, you will gradually become more mature.

When an individual encounters a suitable partner, a relationship will naturally emerge, facilitating interaction with the opposite sex. There is no necessity to hasten this process. The individual is still in their twenties and may not yet be prepared to commit fully to a relationship.

It is essential to comprehend one's own identity and to facilitate personal growth through the process of understanding and healing the relationship with one's parents.

Indeed, the root of the majority of our difficulties can be attributed to the influence of our early interactions with our parents, which were beyond our control during our formative years.

Further reading on the subject can be found in Wu Zhihong's books, "Why Family Hurts" and "Why Love Hurts." These books discuss the impact of parental interactions on children and present methods for addressing and resolving issues. Additionally, they examine how childhood experiences may manifest in adult intimate relationships and contribute to feelings of hurt.

Additionally, readers may benefit from exploring Wu Zhihong's other work, "Talking to the Other Self," to gain a deeper understanding of their own selves, the underlying forces that impede their ability to form intimate relationships, and the yearning for love that often accompanies this resistance.

It is my sincere hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. I extend my warmest regards to you and to the world at large.

Good day.

As a heart exploration coach, I believe that learning is the key to personal growth and development.

From your description, I can discern a number of concerns, including doubts, struggles, contradictions, pain, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

I will not delve into the specifics of the challenges you have faced due to feelings of embarrassment about dating. However, I would like to offer three pieces of advice for your consideration:

First, I suggest you inquire as to when you first began to view the prospect of forming a partnership as a source of shame, and what circumstances led to this perception.

You have indicated that you have recently graduated from college, that you have been pursued by others previously, and that you would reject any romantic interest, even if you subsequently regretted it. Despite this, you feel that there is an invisible force holding you back from pursuing romantic relationships with the opposite sex, which you perceive as something that is not permitted.

Did you observe a colleague being censured by a superior for engaging in a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex, which prompted you to avoid such interactions? Or were you advised by a family member to refrain from pursuing a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex? Or did you witness a successful marriage that ended in divorce, which led you to doubt the possibility of enduring love? In short, you need to identify the underlying reasons for these beliefs and understand why you associate falling in love with shame.

It is only by understanding the reasons behind these issues that we can begin to break free from the status quo.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to consider the reasons you have identified in a logical manner.

A rational perspective can assist in gaining a deeper understanding of oneself and the reality of the situation.

To achieve a rational perspective, it is essential to undertake the following two steps:

First, recognize that the current version of yourself is distinct from your former self and also differs from how you perceive other individuals.

If the reason you found is related to your past experiences and the people and things you have seen, then you need to understand that your current self is different from your past self, and that your experiences with others are also different, because you have grown up, learned more, and have more life experience. It is likely that you can deal with the shame in your heart, and that you are also likely to face the various negative views of others towards you.

There is also an issue that requires attention. The thoughts you are experiencing are likely just your imagination, and they may not be an accurate reflection of reality, as there is often a discrepancy between thoughts and reality.

Additionally, it is important to adopt a developmental perspective when evaluating your own performance. It is likely that you do not yet have the level of confidence that you would like to have. However, it is important to understand that you have significant potential for growth and improvement.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that the desire to love and be loved is one of the fundamental needs of human beings and that it cannot be ignored.

As you indicated in your description, you are not entirely indifferent to the prospect of a fulfilling romantic relationship. It is challenging for you to avoid feelings of guilt by avoiding intimacy because your instinctual needs are not easily ignored.

You have indicated that you believe that having a good job, a decent income, and parents who are healthy is of greater importance than love. This is a valid opinion, as the decision to be in a relationship is ultimately a matter of personal choice. However, it is important to recognize that making rational and objective choices requires a clear understanding of the facts. It seems that you have not yet had the opportunity to gain this understanding. It would be beneficial for you to learn to assess your own situation in a logical manner.

A rational assessment of the situation may help to resolve some of the negative emotions you are experiencing.

I reiterate my recommendation that you focus on yourself and consider how you can improve your situation.

Once you have identified the reasons for your decision, you will be in a position to take action. At this juncture, it is important to focus on your own performance and strive for excellence.

As an example, you can attempt to initiate contact with the opposite sex. This may entail allowing yourself to approach them, or taking the initiative to show interest in a particular individual. Following this, you could arrange to have dinner with the other person, and then spend time alone with them to assess the situation. Once you feel comfortable, you can introduce them to your parents or other family members. This process can be viewed as a form of systematic desensitization.

Following this course of action, you may find that others refrain from making negative comments or accusations, which in turn may help to reduce feelings of shame and enhance your sense of personal strength.

Additionally, when you attempt to foster a positive relationship with someone you are interested in and who has expressed interest in you, you may find that genuine love is a possibility. Over time, you will begin to recognize the value of love in your life. It is important to understand that you have the ability to influence the current situation.

Once action is initiated, the various negative emotions will gradually dissipate. In this context, action serves as an effective antidote to negative emotions.

Naturally, after attempting to form an intimate relationship and learning to love, one may find that living alone is preferable. At this juncture, one can also opt not to be in a relationship. However, at that time, one will not have as many conflicts and contradictions in one's heart, as one has essentially come to know the truth and made a relatively rational and objective choice.

I hope this response is helpful to you. If you would like to discuss further, you may click "Find a Coach" at the bottom of the page, which will allow us to communicate directly.

Hello!

It seems like you have an internal conflict that makes you feel ashamed of your feelings for the opposite sex. You imagine and long for love, but at the same time feel that if you let others know about your feelings, you will be "ashamed to death." I'm curious about how such a conflict was formed.

As the saying goes, when a man is old enough to get married and a woman is old enough to get married, it is normal to be interested in the opposite sex and look forward to love when you reach the age of trying marriage. There's nothing wrong with fulfilling such expectations.

You say that in reality, it's rare to find a faithful, passionate, and long-lasting love. You think a good job, a decent income, and the health of your parents are much more important than love.

Where did you get this kind of thinking from? Did your parents give you similar ideas when you were a kid? For example, that girls should respect themselves, not talk to boys too much, that falling in love is bad, and so on? You slowly started to believe these ideas as your own values, forming your own superego, and thus stopped yourself from having a real love life.

Take a look at your own growth journey and see if you've been too hard on yourself along the way. Be mindful of where this sense of shame comes from.

First, accept yourself. No matter what ideas you have, they were all formed during your growth process and are all part of your self-concept. If you want to adjust them, you must first accept them. Don't resist or condemn yourself, which will only make things more difficult. Accept these ideas and treat them as something natural, just slowly adjusting them according to your needs.

It's important to be flexible in your thinking. Some rules have a time limit. For example, getting involved in a relationship too early is called puppy love, and it can have some negative effects. However, when you reach marriageable age, you will be encouraged to fall in love and get married. It's good to adjust your ideas when needed, be flexible, eliminate outdated internal rules, and do the right thing at the right time.

Falling in love is actually a natural process of opening up to others. First, get along with the opposite sex like ordinary friends, and slowly enter into love. There's no need to force yourself; just go with the flow.

If your family members are pressuring you to get married or tricking you into going on a date, it might not be the best approach. You can talk to them to explain your situation and give you time to take things slowly.

I hope the reply from Red Rain is helpful. Thanks for asking!

Dear question asker,

I appreciate you asking this question and giving me the chance to hear your thoughts. As someone who was also born single, I can relate to the situation you're in, the confusion, and the feeling that something intangible is tugging at your heart. I'll approach this question from the perspective of someone who was born single, with the hope that it will be helpful for you.

If I might ask you to indulge me for a moment, I would like to explore with you the question of your sense of shame.

The Baidu Encyclopedia offers the following insight into the nature of shame: "It is based on certain moral principles and is a prerequisite for the feeling of self-respect. When it becomes a stable emotion in a person's personality, it also becomes an internal regulating mechanism for moral behavior and a driving force for self-improvement. Shame is a value experience. On the one hand, it is the subject's recognition of universal values; on the other hand, it is an examination of the relationship between the self-worth identified in one's own experience and this universal value. It can evoke the subject's emotional aesthetic experience of identifying with and admiring the noble moral thoughts and behavior of an object, while also enabling the subject to retain the necessary distance from immoral thoughts and behavior in self-reflection and self-criticism, and to achieve self-affirmation in their negation."

It seems that shame may have a positive effect on aesthetic ability and moral cultivation.

In light of these considerations, it would be beneficial to gain a deeper understanding of the nature and origins of this sense of shame.

1. Could it be that the sense of shame arises from physical contact with a man after falling in love? For instance, standing shoulder to shoulder, holding hands, hugging, kissing, and having sex.

2. Could it be that after falling in love, you will have high-intensity emotional exchanges with the opposite sex, and that kind of intimate and close feeling might make you feel ashamed?

It would be beneficial to be aware of whether that sense of shame stems from the actions in a relationship or the closing of the psychological distance, or both.

3. Could you please clarify whether you only feel shame in matters of love, or whether you feel shame in other matters of life as well?

4. Could I ask you to think back to your childhood and recall how many opportunities you had to interact with the opposite sex? I'm also interested to know how many of your childhood classmates and close friends were of the opposite sex.

5. It might be the case that when you were very young, you saw your parents, neighbors, or other adults engaging in intimate behavior. At the time, you may not have been able to understand what they were doing, which could have led to feelings of shame. Similarly, it's possible that when you were very young, you saw intimate behavior on TV and others told you that it was shameful, which might have left a deep impression on you.

Secondly, I sense that there might be a subconscious belief that love may not happen to you.

1. From your description, it seems that you feel there are not many long-lasting, faithful, and passionate relationships in reality. I get the impression that you don't believe it will happen to you.

2. You also mentioned that your work and your parents' health are more important to you than love.

It may be the case that there is a subconscious resistance at play, which is influencing your reluctance.

If it isn't an inconvenience, I would also like to explore with you how you see yourself.

1. Could you please tell me how you see yourself?

2. Could you please tell me how you see your strengths and weaknesses?

3. Would you consider facing your true self with courage?

4. Could I ask whether you believe you are an attractive girl?

I would like to explore this issue because I believe it is important for us to understand that some girls may find it challenging to fully embrace their true selves. It is possible that they may feel afraid that their true selves will not be accepted or allowed, which could potentially lead to a reluctance to enter into romantic relationships.

Fourth, I would like to gently suggest that even if you are a single mother and even if you frequently refuse to enter into a romantic relationship, it does not necessarily indicate the presence of a psychological problem.

It is possible that labelling yourself may cause more psychological pressure, which could indicate that we may have to face more issues and take more time than others in exploring ourselves and our relationships.

It is also worth noting that love is not the only way to give us emotional connection. Friendship and family can also provide this. A partner can be part of our social support network, or they may not. If friends and family can provide you with sufficient emotional support, it may not be necessary for a partner to offer you emotional energy.

If you are still seeking guidance on this matter and would benefit from a more in-depth perspective, you are welcome to consult with a professional counselor.

I wish you the best!

Greetings.

I comprehend your perspective. The appeal between individuals is not solely attributable to external influences; intrinsic motivation remains a pivotal factor. If one is compelled to act against their volition or experiences internal discomfort, such an incongruous and maladaptive circumstance may evoke negative emotions, such as shame.

It is essential to undertake a comprehensive examination of one's self-perception.

While the author's apparent disinterest in romantic interactions is evident in their descriptions of select experiences, this does not elucidate the true nature of the author's "inner desires," or the author's genuine aspirations.

When there is a discrepancy between one's aspirations and actions, it can give rise to conflicting emotions, which, over time, may result in the formation of a conflicted personality. This can manifest as a tendency to approach something one does not like or act in a way that is contrary to one's longings. It is essential to be clear about one's intentions and desires in order to align one's actions with them. This concept can be illustrated by the example of a video game, where one may want to proceed in a particular direction but instead presses the left and right buttons, indicating hesitation. This phenomenon occurs when one's thoughts have not yet reached a conclusion.

Consequently, the questioner must re-examine their own perceptions and identify which ideas do not align with their aspirations. Despite being incongruent with current perceptions, at times the most effective method to overcome confusion is to develop the ability to listen to one's inner voice. This process can also prevent excessive thinking, which can result in a multitude of ideas and internal conflict, and to reject choices that are made without sufficient consideration.

It is imperative to accept oneself and to practice self-care.

The current thoughts of the questioner can be understood as a result of an inability to make a definitive choice, which in turn leads to a tendency to prioritize the present. For instance, the questioner may prioritize achieving a good job, earning a decent income, and ensuring the health of their parents over pursuing a romantic relationship.

The assumption is that the questioner has ceased to hesitate and has confidence in their choice.

Why do you not perceive contact with the opposite sex as a novel experience, an opportunity to expand your social circle, but rather as a means of acquiring new insights into the world, and instead feel adrift, uneasy, and ashamed?

The questioner's negative feelings must not have been present from the outset, otherwise there would be no yearning or fantasies about the opposite sex, even if they are merely novel. The questioner is experiencing internal conflicts that require resolution. The most effective approach to resolving these conflicts is to first accept oneself, recognize one's own "discomfort," attend to one's innermost needs, and address them directly. This necessitates a shift in perspective from seeking external validation to self-care. Individuals can learn to support themselves and take responsibility for their own well-being, rather than relying on external sources for energy and support.

The foundation of a relationship is trust, and preconceived notions should be discarded.

In a previous instance, I was visiting a close friend's residence. I desired to proceed directly to the friend's residence, as we were close associates. However, my friend on the other end of the communication advised me to first place a telephone call. What if the other individual was not interested in receiving my visit?

I am uncertain as to your meaning. Why would you not wish to do so? If you are not inclined to do so, might we nevertheless remain on amicable terms? Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that it is a sensible course of action. Consequently, I telephoned my friend, only to discover that she was engaged in a romantic relationship with another friend, with whom I was previously unacquainted. I called at an inopportune moment, and I was gratified to find that this was the case, as it averted an unwelcome degree of embarrassment.

There are numerous instances of miscommunication in life, yet individuals often fail to invest the requisite patience to comprehend these nuances. This lack of understanding can impede the establishment and maintenance of trust within a relationship. Additionally, the ability to coexist harmoniously with the opposite sex is influenced by the perceptions and thought processes of both parties, as well as external factors such as upbringing, personality traits, and shared interests. For a relationship to flourish, it must overcome the challenges posed by these differences, requiring a high degree of compatibility, patience, and willpower from both partners.

[Final Message]

The "sense of shame" of the questioner does not appear to be a psychological illness at this time. Rather, it seems to be an unconscious deviation in the perception of the opposite sex, which makes it impossible to treat it normally and to naturally develop a romantic relationship. If the questioner's internal considerations and plans for the future do not require the company of the opposite sex and there is no need to establish an intimate relationship to supplement one's emotional life, then there is no need to consider other issues, maintain the current mindset, and cherish the present.

I wish you the best.

Good day, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing now. Please accept my best regards.

You are currently experiencing some relationship issues. I extend my support and best wishes to you.

I would like to inquire about the nature of your relationship with your parents.

Please allow me to explain my rationale for asking these questions.

Our views on love and relationships are often shaped by our parents.

Please clarify.

If you observe that your parents' marriage or romantic relationship is unsatisfactory, you may conclude that marriage is an inherently flawed institution and therefore reluctant to pursue a romantic interest.

If this is the case, it is recommended that you seek the assistance of a professional counselor, preferably one who specializes in the family of origin.

A counselor is better positioned to adopt a third-party perspective, free from bias and with an objective outlook. This allows them to provide more pertinent, useful, and constructive advice.

A counselor can also assist in reestablishing an accurate perception of marriage and love.

Given that the issue you are currently facing is more akin to a subcategory of the original family problem, I would advise seeking the assistance of a qualified psychological counselor rather than an informal listener.

I hope that you will be able to find a solution to the problem you are facing soon.

The above represent my personal opinions, which I offer for your reference only.

I hope my above response is helpful and inspiring to you. Best regards, The respondent

At Yixinli, we extend our best wishes to you and the world.