After arguing with my husband, we've been in a cold war for a week now, and he hasn't said a single soft word or tried to comfort me?

Dear question asker,

Hello! I can empathize with your sadness after reading your story. Have you ever wondered why this man seems to have changed so much?

I think it's fair to say that many people feel this way after marriage.

Before marriage, it was easy to assume that your partner would always be there to comfort you and make you happy, and that he would continue to treat you kindly in the future. Similarly, you may have believed that he would fulfill all of your expectations.

However, upon entering into marriage, we may find that our expectations are met, or at least largely fulfilled.

Could it be that we feel such a big sense of loss because we have high expectations of each other and of marriage?

Ideals are abundant, but reality is often quite different. Many marriages find that the daily grind of cooking and cleaning can gradually erode passion, and that there are often many minor issues that can lead to conflict.

This is real life. Perhaps there is no sequel to the story of Snow White and the Prince because they, like ordinary people, will have arguments and conflicts.

It might be said that women don't really want much, just a little more understanding of our emotions and a little more comfort, not a war of words. What do you think?

From your description, it seems that your husband also took the initiative to reconcile with you. However, since you were still unhappy, you chose to remain silent, and then your husband also stopped talking, resulting in a week-long cold war between you. During this period, did you find yourself wondering why you had ignored him that day?

If I speak up again, it might give the impression that I'm in the wrong (as a woman, I can relate to how you feel, because our emotions haven't been addressed). And my husband?

He feels that I have taken the initiative to speak up, and that he, as a man, has lost face because you ignored him. It seems that you both chose to hold back because there was no way out, and the cold war continued.

I sense that you may all be feeling particularly bad.

Your relationship is still very good overall, with only the occasional period of discord. However, for a couple, a period of discord can have a significantly detrimental impact.

I believe that, at your core, you don't want to let a minor issue overshadow a significant one and negatively impact your relationship. A happy marriage requires nurturing. Perhaps you could consider trying this:

1. It might be helpful to accept your current feelings, acknowledge your expectations of your partner, and recognize that they may not always be able to meet them.

2. It might be helpful to learn to distract yourself and cheer yourself up. For example, you could go shopping, exercise, listen to music, or watch entertainment programs.

3. Once you have had a chance to calm down, it might be helpful to take some time to think about what you really need. Could your husband reasonably meet these expectations? What else might you do?

4. After the incident, it would be beneficial to find a time when everyone is in a good mood and talk to your husband openly and honestly. It is important to state the facts without judging or attacking, and to express your feelings and expectations in a constructive manner. It is also important to acknowledge your husband's contributions to the family.

5. Consider learning more to improve yourself. You might find it helpful to read books on marital emotions and learn the skills of "non-violent communication."

It is worth noting that in a marriage, the specific role of the reconciler is not as crucial as the act of reconciliation itself. The key is to find a way to foster mutual understanding, trust, and appreciation, which can ultimately lead to a shared sense of happiness.

I hope my analysis can be of some help to you. Wishing you the best!

I would like to suggest that you consider the possibility that your beliefs may be correct.

Hello, sister. I can sense from your question that you may be feeling a bit down.

It seems that there have been some changes in your husband's behavior before and after marriage. In the past, you were able to calm him down when he got angry, but now it seems like he has even started to ignore you. It's understandable that you're both feeling frustrated and confused about your husband's behavior.

Perhaps you're feeling a bit uncertain about how to proceed?

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to consider the challenges that can arise in understanding between the sexes, both before and after marriage.

Before marriage, both parties are at the peak of their relationship and can be more tolerant and understanding of each other. This often leads to a willingness on the part of the man to lower his stance and appease the woman when they argue.

However, after marriage, passion tends to wane and return to a more normal pattern. This can present a challenge for couples in maintaining a harmonious and effective communication.

It might be said that this is a problem that exists in every family. It is not that the man has changed his mind, but rather a normal physiological phenomenon. How to get along with your wife from a high passion stage to a stable wife life is now the period of your adjustment.

It would be helpful to recognize that the current stage is different from the previous one. Additionally, it is important to consider how to best navigate your relationship with your partner.

From what I can gather from your description, it seems that there might be room for improvement in how you communicate with each other and how you approach conflict. There is an old saying that anger does not last overnight, so it would be helpful to work on this together.

It would be beneficial for young couples to have a mutual understanding of how to get along with each other.

It would be ideal to reach a consensus when you are calm, which could be considered a "couple's covenant." For instance, it would be beneficial to avoid holding a grudge overnight. One party should take the initiative to show goodwill after the other party has done the same, and it would be best to avoid a cold war, etc.

If one partner bows to the other, it is perfectly acceptable to do so with a subtle gesture if speaking is not convenient. This is a complex topic, as it depends on how a couple gets along with each other. If there is a chance, I hope my sister can also add some classes on how couples get along with each other. Through learning and practice, I believe you will find the most suitable way to get along with each other.

It is important to remember that men and women have different temperaments and thought processes. Despite these differences, love is always there, and the key is to learn how to deal with the daily trivialities and conflicts in a constructive manner.

Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on the issue at hand, rather than the person involved. It might be beneficial to consider how the couple will get along in the future.

I hope my answer today is helpful to you. If you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to come and talk to me.

I hope the world and I can be of service to you. Best wishes!