After five years of marriage, I feel that it is becoming more and more difficult to get along with my wife. What should I do?

Hello, question asker! As a mother of two children (the second child is also just over half a year old), I understand the difficulties you are facing at this particular stage of your life, and I am here to give you a hug and comfort.

You have been told by many people to be more understanding of your wife, communicate more, and do whatever it takes to save your relationship and family.

But often, we believe we know the truth and understand what to do, so we simply don't do it. We say, "You're right, but I just don't want to do it that way," or "There are some things I just can't say."

Changing your mind is always more important, more fundamental, and more difficult than changing your behavior.

I will also briefly go through this with you to give you insight and inspiration.

1. You have been married for five years and have always felt that your wife is relatively "dominant." In other words, you were already dissatisfied with her before the baby arrived, and the birth of the child only served to make you feel as if you were about to be crushed.

Then, from falling in love to being in love, it took five years to have a child together, and there must have been a lot of sweetness and heartache along the way. I want to know why you always feel that she is a bit "dominant." Is she like this with everyone?

When you first expressed your thoughts and opinions to her, did she refuse to listen? When did you feel you were not being seen and respected, and that she was dominant?

Tell me, during this period, have you made any efforts or attempts to understand and communicate, rather than simply labeling her as "strong"?

2. I can be like your wife sometimes, unable to hear other people's opinions and prone to emotional outbursts. But I'm not strong-willed. In fact, it is precisely because I have no autonomy in major matters that I tend to feel unhappy and express my emotions and argue with people. So I think emotionality and a lack of acceptance of other people's opinions are not the same as being "strong-willed."

You need to find out what your wife's true feelings and needs are behind her behavior.

If she's truly strong and capable of making her own decisions and living her life as she chooses, then why is she enduring so much suffering? It's evident that she's not happy.

She doesn't intend to act this way. So what does she really want, and what is she trying to express when she gets emotional?

3. I understand the kind of tiredness you feel. In a relationship, both people get tired, but we still have to make an effort to change the relationship for the better.

Marriage requires learning and growth, relationships require commitment, and raising children also requires learning and commitment. There's no easy way around it.

As some respondents said, she will only change if you change first. We cannot change other people, but if you have not given up on the family, you can start with yourself and do things that will make the family better. You cannot add fuel to the fire.

Furthermore, I believe it's important to acknowledge that growth takes time. It's essential to provide your wife with the necessary time and space to navigate these changes. After giving birth and adjusting to a new family dynamic, it's natural for her to experience a period of transition. She needs time to process external changes and to reflect, grow, and adapt on an internal level.

When I first got married, I would lose my temper at my husband at the slightest provocation. Now, more than five years later, we have two children. I still lose my temper occasionally, but I've made significant progress in managing my anger. This is thanks to my continuous learning and growth, but I know that this process has not been easy.

Those around me must be patient and tolerant to see me change.

Your family deserves happiness, and I am certain you and your wife can recapture the initial sweetness and happiness!

Hello, question asker! I can feel your sense of grievance, depression, exhaustion, and helplessness from your description, but I'm here to help!

You've been married to your wife for five years. Before the birth of your baby, your wife was strong but could put up with it. However, after the birth of your baby and your wife's increased involvement, the atmosphere in your home has become increasingly vibrant!

On the one hand, there is your mother, and on the other, there is your wife. Caught between the two, you really are having a hard time as a man—but you're also in a unique position to learn and grow!

On the one hand, you don't want to upset your mother, but on the other hand, you can't calm or persuade your wife. You must feel both aggrieved and exhausted, but you'll get through this!

And she's wondering how much longer she can stand being with you!

☻️ Your preconceived ideas affect your judgment of things!

It's so interesting to see how things play out between your wife and your mother. Your wife is clearly in the dominant position, and it's evident that she dislikes your mother. Your mother, on the other hand, is holding her tongue for fear of angering your wife. And your mother is feeling pretty aggrieved, too!

Once you have such preconceived ideas, you will unconsciously favor your mother and be more likely to misunderstand your wife's actions. This is something you can work on!

☻ Your wife can sense your innermost thoughts!

Based on your view of your wife, you will choose to give in to her and please her in every way when dealing with her.

However, your wife still feels that you don't understand her at all, that you're not on the same side as her, and that you just choose to back down and avoid conflict in order to keep the peace.

Right now, you're doing your best to please your wife, but you're coming across as a bit blaming, isolated, neglectful, and perfunctory.

It's actually pretty simple to explain why your wife doesn't appreciate you. In many ways, she's become very sensitive, and any communication you have with her is likely to anger her.

When it comes to family matters, she says she's consulting you, but she's actually just telling you. She's got her own ideas and she's not afraid to share them!

Because she feels that you are on the same side as your mother. In this household, she is an outsider, and your mother has become the hostess of the family.

Being reasonable is a great way to show her that you believe in her and that she can make mistakes without it being the end of the world.

You simply don't truly understand her, stand by her, or believe in her—yet!

Therefore, she has the incredible opportunity to choose to fight alone, becoming sensitive, good at fighting, easily angered, and unwilling to go home.

As a man, you have the amazing opportunity to protect your own little family!

Your wife really wants just one thing from you: a sincere attitude! She wants your genuine support, understanding, and reassurance.

It's important to remember that in this family, you and your wife are partners. If you want the family to be stable and secure, it's essential that you stand on the same side as your wife and work together to support the family.

Instead of neglecting, blaming, isolating, and complaining about your wife because of other people, even if that person is your own mother, try something new!

It's time for a change! Try to stand in your wife's shoes, see what's really going on, and truly see and understand your wife.

Discuss ways to solve problems with your wife and see what you can do for her. It's a great way to strengthen your relationship!

You and your wife are the masters of your home, and your wife is your ally and comrade-in-arms! As a man, you should be responsible and courageous, and protect your home!

Wishing you all the best!

Life is made up of all kinds of little things that can sometimes be a bit overwhelming. I know it can be tough being a husband and trying to keep everything together with your wife and kids.

Family life is all about feelings, not logic. It's great that you're still relatively calm and rational when it comes to your wife's emotions, your mother's issues, and your own fatigue and discomfort. You haven't let the situation get out of hand, and you're actively looking for a solution.

I can see that your wife's strong personality has caused a few hiccups in your communication. As her son, you feel for her, but the change in the family atmosphere is a bit of a challenge for both of you. You are clearly doing your best to accommodate her in every way, but you still can't communicate as well as you'd like.

From the wife's perspective, she feels a bit overwhelmed with the addition of a new baby to the family, and is tired. Her mother comes to help, but often her mother's help is not what she wants, which makes her feel a little annoyed and upset. She can't see anything that pleases her.

From the mother's perspective, she is old enough to help her children, but she never does what they want. It can be really tough when you're a mom and you're feeling distressed for your kids, especially when you feel like you're not being able to help them.

It's so hard when you're going through something like this. I know it can be really tough to see things from your wife's perspective, but it might help to try to understand that for a woman, the process of giving birth and caring for a child can be very depressing. It's not easy to go through, and it's totally normal to feel this way.

You see, it's only natural that everyone feels unhappy from their own perspective.

But what if we all changed our perspective?

If a husband can see things from his wife's perspective, he'll understand that for a woman, the process of giving birth and caring for a child can be really tough. It's a very emotional time for her, and it's not unusual for her to suffer from "postpartum depression." Of course, everyone is different. Some people adapt quickly, some go to extremes, and some take a long time to adjust. When I first gave birth, for example, I would burst into tears at the slightest noise. I wasn't being sentimental, but my body and mind were having trouble adjusting to this new stage. So, at this stage, it's really important for the husband to understand and accept her.

Of course, this doesn't mean you have to agree with her all the time. It just means you should try to understand her feelings and help her get through this tough time.

If only the wife could see things from her husband's perspective! She'd see how busy he is with work, how he has to take care of the family, and how difficult it is for him to be caught between his wife and his mother, both of whom he loves so much and both of whom worry about him.

It's totally normal that she's having a tough time adjusting right now. It might be a bit more challenging for her to empathize with your feelings, but you can definitely help her through it! Have a heart-to-heart with her, show her you understand, give her a boost of encouragement, and let her know she's got this. It's important to look beyond just her bad mood and attitude towards her mom. Try to see what's really going on inside her head. This is her real need. Strong people often have some deep-seated fears and unfulfilled expectations. Try to view things from this perspective. If you understand her true thoughts, it'll be easier to communicate.

I'm really sorry about your mother. Have you thought about hiring someone to take care of the kids? Or maybe there are other options you haven't considered? It's totally normal for two generations to have different opinions because of their different experiences. But for the sake of the kids, can we try to find a way to get along? And for the sake of the family, can we try to find a way to get along?

It's clear that arguing won't help anyone. But for the sake of the original intention of marriage, for the harmony of the family, and for the children to grow up in a healthy and happy environment, let's give it a try!

And in the process of communication, it's important to remember not to let our emotions get in the way. Sometimes we're not disgusted by the matter itself, but by the other person's emotions and attitude. So, take a deep breath and talk about the matter calmly, without getting into a right or wrong debate.

Marriage isn't perfect, but love can definitely make a home harmonious.

My wife has always been in a relatively strong position. When our baby was born six months ago, my mother came to help us with the baby, and things became increasingly difficult for our family. At first, she asked my mother to come and help us take care of the baby. After my mother came for two or three months, I became more and more uncomfortable with her, and felt that she was targeting her in various ways. We had a few arguments, and now my mother is a bit afraid of her, afraid of angering her at every turn. In other aspects, she has become very sensitive. My communication with her easily angers her. When it comes to family matters, she says she is consulting with me, but in reality she is just telling me. She doesn't accept my opinions at all, and even argues with me!

She feels like the current family atmosphere isn't to her liking and doesn't even want to go home. I feel the same way, afraid of her coming back or going home to face her. I give in to her in every aspect of life, trying to please her, but she doesn't appreciate it at all. If I don't give in to her, we almost have a fight every day!

I want to calm down and reason with her, but I can't convince her. Sometimes, if I do win, she won't even admit it and argues with me. But I always give in and admit fault first. If I do that too much, she thinks I'm just going along with her. I don't know how much longer I can keep up with her. I feel so tired.

Hello, question asker.

From what you've said, I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm a woman too, and I've been there. You're tired, irritated, and exhausted.

The home seems to have become a burden at the moment. It's like there's low pressure, making it hard to breathe and wanting to escape.

I get the feeling this is mutual, and from what you've said, it seems like your wife feels the same way.

I'd like to offer you a different perspective from a woman's point of view.

The wife has always been in the dominant position.

Most of us think that being strong means having power, but maybe it's because she's vulnerable on the inside that she needs this kind of assertiveness to prop herself up. It could also be a way of coping that she learned in her family.

I'm trying to help you understand why your partner is the way they are.

I'd also encourage you to be tolerant of one another. It's important to be clear with each other about your boundaries and what you do and don't allow.

The wife wants her mother-in-law to help out, but when the mother actually gets involved in raising the kids, she picks on everything.

I think the wife's anger is her way of defending her own boundaries. She's trying to tell her mother that although this is your son's home, it's also her home, and she's the hostess. She wants to make sure that some of her mother's practices don't cross the line. These boundaries include all aspects, from the trivial to the child's daily life, educational issues, living habits, held concepts, and so on. They're all boundaries that are easy to break.

Of course, the mother may not have meant to do it. It's like someone accidentally cutting us with a knife. We know the other person didn't mean to, but the injury has already been done, and some emotions will come out as a result.

I'd also like to ask the questioner a question: Have you helped your mother violate your wife's boundaries together? Or, in your heart, is your family the most important thing?

➡️ Poor communication with your wife

The questioner wants to have a good chat with his wife. It's clear you've tried hard, tried many things, and tried to find a way out of this dilemma, but it seems you've reached a dead end.

Has the questioner ever considered whether you and your wife are on the same page when you communicate? It's not uncommon for reason and emotion to clash, but when they do, it can be tough to move forward. Even if you win the argument, you might still lose the relationship.

Why does your wife use emotions to talk to you? Maybe behind all the angry accusations, she's really saying, "Look at me, I need you, I have expectations of you, I love you..."

Has the questioner learned about the language of non-violent communication? You could try using it yourself. Just tell the facts, talk about your feelings, and mention your needs.

No exaggerating, judging, blaming, or giving advice. No matter what approach you take, sincerity is the most important thing.

➡️ You always give in to your wife and admit your faults, but she's still not satisfied.

You've got a lot on your plate, but I think you're probably right when you say your wife feels like you're just going through the motions. Let can be a way to solve problems, but the idea is not to avoid problems, to escape them, and not to face them.

Maybe you can find some peace by ignoring the problem for a while, but it'll still be there. What do you think? Your wife has poured out a lot of emotion, and she really hopes you can see it!

It's been tough since ancient times to get along with and solve the problems between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. But I also believe that a family that gets along so well must have done something right. Besides the personal growth of the mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, the male host must be the key mediator so that the family can move forward together. Having said all this, are you ready?

Hello, dear reader! I'm thrilled to have been able to help.

As a wife, I can totally empathize with you! The only difference is that my wife may also be able to empathize with you.

I totally get your family conflicts. I'm also a wife who has been married for more than six years.

I totally get you! I can relate to the way you feel. Since the birth of the child, the whole family atmosphere has changed. Let me tell you, there are so many reasons for the gap between you!

And let's not forget the exciting changes in family structure!

In our country, marriage is not just a matter for two people. And after having children, it is not just a matter for three people.

These days, it's so common for families to have two working parents! Both the husband and wife are super busy at work.

And let's not forget the pressure of life in the family!

This will inevitably lead to changes in family relationships, and it's going to be great!

In the past, as long as you and your wife got along, everything was absolutely fine! And as you said, your wife is an amazingly strong person!

In the past, when the wife was dominant, you could just be a little more deferential and listen to her. She might not have been so opinionated, which was great because it meant she was happy to let you have your say!

The good news is that the anger between you two will subside. But now the family structure has changed.

It becomes a world of four, or even five, or six, or seven people!

Family therapy theory holds the fascinating belief that changes in one family member can affect changes in other family members, which can lead to changes in the entire family structure.

Let's talk about the fascinating differences between generations!

Now, imagine this: your wife is at home taking care of the children and they are disobedient. At the end of the day, your wife is busy packing up after the children, while the children are making a racket.

Sometimes, the wife and the elderly person's parenting philosophies can be very different. If the wife is teaching the child at this time,

And guess what? Most elderly people will protect them! When protecting the child, a mother has nowhere to vent her anger.

And the mother will also feel quite aggrieved. But it's a good question: whose child is it anyway?

Is it the child of the elderly person, or is it my own child? I wonder if I'm using the right methods of discipline?

Oh, the confusion! Who is right? The wife will be in a state of perpetual confusion.

And there's nowhere to talk about this confusion — but there's nowhere to go but up!

Now, let's talk about the important role of the husband in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

When the husband comes home, his wife may imagine that he wants to pour out his heart.

You want to tell your husband all about your terrible day! But you're probably busy at work.

Or perhaps you are tired after a long day at work. At this time, you are unable to comfort your wife.

And your wife will also feel deeply misunderstood. You feel that you have tolerated her in every way, which is great because it means you're a tolerant person!

You think you are being tolerant by not talking to her anymore. But your wife feels that you are not empathizing with her, which is an opportunity for you to show her how much you care!

And at this time, conflicts naturally arise!

And at this time, as a mother-in-law?

After all, the wife is from outside the family, while the husband is family. This means the mother-in-law will feel a special bond with her son.

Guess what! You can even berate your daughter-in-law in your heart. Some mothers-in-law are even a bit more dominant and will show it on the surface.

This creates an opportunity for growth and change in the original family of three. As a result, the husband, caught in the middle of this external force, has the chance to learn and grow in his ability to deal with the situation.

And the children! At this age, they are generally very spirited and full of life.

So the whole family system is in a state of disorder—but that means there's room for improvement!

? Therefore, the existence of these problems may lead to a deterioration in your relationship with your wife. But don't worry! In such an environment, it is recommended that you communicate more with your wife.

Have a calm, cool, and collected conversation with him. If you're not in the mood, take a moment to relax and regroup.

Let your wife know you're not in the best frame of mind right now, but you're excited to talk when you're feeling better.

Let's take a few minutes to calm down and then dive right into this issue!

As a husband, you have the incredible opportunity to be the backbone of the family. You are the bridge between the two sides of the family, connecting them in a way that allows them to thrive together.

Many people think that the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem between two women. But the truth is, the root of the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies with the man—and it's an amazing opportunity for growth and understanding!

The man is a son on the one hand and the wife's husband on the other. Both women will compete for his sense of security, which is a wonderful thing!

Both women regard this man as the most important person in their lives. He is their attachment!

At this time, the man has the incredible opportunity to take responsibility for his own small family. He gets to help his wife become the best wife she can be! He should know that his wife's attachment should be to her husband, not to him.

So, when you're chatting with your wife, you can ask her if she can take care of the family. If she can, then you can live the life of a couple and avoid bringing any external factors into the family system!

I really do hope your problem can be resolved soon. I wish you both a long, happy life together, holding hands and never forgetting the first love.

I wish you all the happiness in the world! May your little family be happy and contented forevermore.

Good day, my name is Kelly.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether your wife is the dominant partner in the relationship. To do so, it may be helpful to reflect on her personality before you got married. To gain further insight, it would be useful to revisit the early stages of your relationship and identify what qualities you admired about her at the time.

Furthermore, it would be prudent to ascertain whether the woman in question is amenable to marriage. It is possible that she possesses qualities that are not immediately apparent.

As the spouse of the mother of your child, you are likely to experience a certain degree of ambivalence.

As a mother myself, I can attest to the challenges that arise when a mother-in-law stays with a newly married couple. My own mother-in-law's brief stay in our home led to significant marital difficulties. We nearly divorced due to the strain caused by my mother-in-law's presence. For instance, while my mother-in-law loved my husband, she was not pleased with his lack of dish-washing skills. These expectations and the subsequent discomfort I felt made it difficult for me to relax and recuperate after giving birth. The physical changes that occur in a woman's body after childbirth, the anxiety and unease that accompany the transition to motherhood, and my mother-in-law's approach all contributed to a challenging postpartum period.

I desired that my husband demonstrate consideration and affection towards me during that period. However, he lacked the ability to handle such matters effectively. Frequently, he would align himself with his mother and demonstrate loyalty to her, which resulted in feelings of isolation, helplessness, anger, and, at one point, even depression following the birth of our child.

It is important to note that the relationship between a husband and wife is of significant importance. From the initial stages of courtship and subsequent marriage, and continuing through the process of having children, it is inevitable that the initial promise will be forgotten. As long as the husband and wife are united, there is no day that cannot be overcome. It is recommended that the original poster observe and reflect on the following:

1. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships have historically been fraught. Couples in this situation will likely require significant support in the years following the birth of their child. It is therefore important to be aware of the emotional state of the mother-in-law and to inquire about her feelings, mood, and emotions.

2. It is important to remain neutral, communicate with your mother, and explain the significance of marriage. It is also crucial to differentiate between responsibilities, recognize that she is a guest in this family, and avoid crossing boundaries. Additionally, it is essential to acknowledge her affection for you and for the household.

3: It is important to recognise that each individual has their own set of habits, and that there will be a period of adjustment for both generations as they learn to navigate each other's routines. It is likely that your wife, who may not have had much exposure to your mother, will need to be patient and understanding as she gets to know her. As your mother matures, it is probable that she will develop a fondness for your wife, and your wife will reciprocate this affection. This period of adjustment will lay the foundation for a positive and mutually respectful relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

4: I comprehend the questioner's emotional state with remarkable clarity. After all, we all mature through life, and marriage, love, and having children are all significant milestones that necessitate learning. You are here to learn, and I believe you desire to resolve your family issues. I posit that the more resolute our determination to resolve the problem, the sooner it will be resolved.

5: It is important to be aware of one's current emotional state. Have you become enmeshed in the issues faced by the two women who love you? It is crucial to maintain vigilance.

It would be beneficial to identify the root of the problems.

6: Life is replete with inconsequential matters that challenge our patience and discernment. I extend my best wishes for the well-being of your family.

The world and I extend our affectionate regard to you.

Good day, host. It is my hope that my response will prove beneficial to you.

Indeed, scenarios akin to yours remain prevalent in marital relationships. The crux of the matter lies in the lack of depth in your communication. It is imperative to discern each other's needs and engage in profound dialogue. Concurrently, it is essential to recognize that conflicts and disagreements in marriage are intrinsic to the process of intimacy. Only through navigating this challenging phase can you progress to the subsequent stage by fostering communication and gaining a deeper comprehension of each other.

The development of intimacy typically progresses through four distinct stages, each with its own distinctive characteristics and potential risks.

The initial period of passion is characterised by intense feelings of attachment and infatuation.

The passionate period represents the initial stage of intimacy and is also the period during which it is most likely to result in a marriage of convenience. During this period, individuals tend to perceive only positive attributes in their partner and are motivated to temporarily present themselves as the ideal lover in their partner's eyes. Despite this initial positive sentiment, the effects of dopamine, which peak at around three to six months, result in a decline in happiness. Consequently, the positive feelings experienced during this stage are transient and insufficient to sustain a long-lasting and happy marriage. Following this, the intimate relationship progresses to a period of adjustment.

2. The Cold Period (Running-In Period)

The cooling-off period (the period of friction), which is the conflict stage of the development of intimacy, is the period when all emotional problems erupt. During this period, passion has slowly faded, and the problems with each other have also begun to be exposed. Our imagination of love has encountered the cold reality, and the other person has changed from being liked no matter how you look at them to being disliked no matter how you look at them, so the intimate relationship has been challenged.

The cooling-off period (the period of friction), which represents the conflict stage of the development of intimacy, is the period during which all emotional problems emerge. During this period, passion has gradually diminished, and the issues between the partners have also begun to surface. Our perception of love has confronted the reality of the situation, and the other person has shifted from being liked regardless of circumstances to being disliked, thereby challenging the intimate relationship.

This is the period when each person spends an increasing amount of time alone and requires less time together than previously.

The respective shortcomings of each party have been revealed. In the event that irreconcilable conflicts are perceived, and a desire to change the other person is expressed, while the other person also wishes for a change in you, it becomes relatively simple to trigger conflicts and contradictions, which may ultimately result in a breakup.

The disclosure of one's respective shortcomings is a common occurrence in intimate relationships. When such conflicts become irreconcilable and both partners express a desire for change, the potential for triggering further conflicts and contradictions increases. This may ultimately result in the dissolution of the relationship.

Consequently, the period of adjustment represents the most challenging stage in the context of romantic relationships.

The third stage is the introspection period.

The subsequent stage is that of introspection, which is characterised by a focus on the self and an examination of one's own internal patterns and problems. This period is often accompanied by a shift in responsibility within the relationship, with individuals taking stock of their role and potential for change. It is a crucial period for growth and relationship rebuilding.

Upon successfully navigating the trial period, couples may enter the introspection period. This phase marks the advent of self-reflection, whereby partners shift their focus from external issues to intrapersonal ones. During this stage, individuals examine their internal patterns and challenges, including their core beliefs, responsibilities in the relationship, and potential for growth and change. This process of introspection is crucial for fostering personal growth and rebuilding relationships.

The fourth stage is the Enlightenment Period.

This stage is also referred to as the "enlightenment stage," during which the two partners begin to establish a spiritual connection. In this stage, individuals learn to embrace each other with love and demonstrate willingness to fully accept their own childhood experiences and embrace their inner child. As a result, the intimate relationship progresses to a higher and deeper level, which is the state of deep intimacy under discussion.

It should be acknowledged that not many relationships can reach this stage, and it is not straightforward. However, this is the direction in which we and our partners need to work together towards.

An understanding of the stages of intimacy reveals that problems and conflicts are an inherent aspect of an intimate relationship. Consequently, the objective is not to avoid conflicts but to foster a deeper understanding and utilize them as an opportunity for resolution.

It is therefore evident that when there has been insufficient time for mutual acquaintance, comprehension, and the establishment of trust within a relationship, it will require a period of adjustment and communication to achieve this. There is no cause for concern or apprehension, as with the implementation of appropriate adjustments and a willingness to work towards this goal, the relationship will become more harmonious and congenial. The following steps can be taken now:

1. Utilize non-violent communication to explicitly convey one's feelings and needs to the other individual.

The objective of communication is not to ascertain who is correct and who is incorrect; rather, it is to facilitate a deeper understanding of each other and to foster the growth of the relationship.

It is essential to communicate effectively in relationships, express each other's needs and feelings promptly, and establish a profound emotional connection and emotional exchange. One effective approach is the method of non-violent communication. This method involves stating the objective facts, expressing one's feelings, expressing one's needs, and requesting the other person's actions in a clear and concise manner.

It is important to note that when presenting facts, it is essential to maintain objectivity, avoiding any critical or accusatory language. Needs and feelings should be expressed in a clear and honest manner, and requests for action from the other person should be as detailed as possible, ensuring that the other person is fully aware of the required course of action.

For example, when a spouse indicates a desire to discuss a family matter with the other spouse, but proceeds to merely recount the matter without taking the other spouse's advice or even engaging in a dispute with the other spouse, the initially-mentioned spouse may respond by saying, "I recall you indicating a desire to discuss this matter with me. However, you did not take my advice, which has caused me to feel somewhat disconcerted and irritated. I would like you to respect my opinion. I hope we can communicate effectively and discuss more matters related to our family. In the future, I would appreciate it if you could communicate with me in a more gentle manner. You may also inform me of any difficulties or needs you may have. I hope we can support and understand each other."

Furthermore, it is advisable to communicate on a daily basis, to learn to share, and to avoid becoming distant from one another.

When individuals are able to express their feelings and needs in a timely manner, share each other's lives, and allow the other person to understand their life situation and dynamics, this can enhance each other's sense of security and trust.

2. It is essential to identify the underlying needs that drive your wife's emotional state and to comprehend the rationale behind her actions.

It can be reasonably assumed that no individual desires to experience anger on a constant basis. It is plausible that the subject in question is experiencing a multitude of emotions, which she is unable to regulate. The underlying cause of these emotions may be the presence of unmet needs.

It would be advisable to identify an appropriate moment and create a more conducive environment in which to engage in a constructive dialogue with your spouse. During this conversation, it would be beneficial to ascertain her underlying needs.

It is unnecessary to engage in a process of reasoning with her. The act of reasoning is an ineffective method of communication in relationships due to the inherent differences in the way men and women think. Men are more inclined to adhere to a logical and rational approach, whereas women are more emotionally driven. In some instances, a simple act of kindness or a caring word can be more impactful than an extended period of reasoning. It is essential to understand her deeper emotional needs and identify the underlying factors that contribute to her emotional state. For instance, it is crucial to ascertain whether her emotional well-being is largely influenced by a desire for your approval.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether these needs have been conveyed to her. This is a topic worthy of further investigation.

Once her needs are identified and she perceives that they are being met within the relationship, it is likely that her emotions will gradually subside. It is also important to be aware of one's own needs and to communicate them clearly to the other person.

Additionally, these sentiments can be conveyed through the non-violent communication approach previously outlined.

3. Cultivate an understanding and acceptance of others.

Given the multitude of factors that contribute to individual differences, including life experiences, upbringing, and educational background, it is inevitable that we possess varying perspectives and habits. However, in order to maintain harmonious family dynamics, it is essential to cultivate an understanding and acceptance of these differences. Failure to do so can result in frequent conflicts and contradictions, ultimately leading to a less than optimal family environment.

Existentialist therapist Irwin Yalom and his wife Marilyn are markedly disparate individuals with disparate preferences. Nevertheless, they have been together for over 60 years, consistently demonstrating understanding and support for one another. They are allotted a month of annual leave. Marilyn favors France, while Yalom prefers the islands. Consequently, they divide their time between these two locales, spending half the month in France and half on vacation.

They are consistently capable of tolerating and comprehending each other's perspectives, and when challenges emerge, they engage in constructive dialogue to identify the most optimal resolution for both parties.

When we can adopt the perspective of the other person and comprehend their actions, and treat them as a distinct individual rather than a means to our own ends, we can accept them rather than resent them. It is therefore important to consider the other person's perspective. Why are you so easily angered these days?

It is possible that the symptoms are indicative of postpartum depression. It may be beneficial to accompany the patient to an appointment with a medical professional to rule out any underlying medical issues.

Should I devote more attention to her and become more intimately involved with her?

My husband enjoys socializing with friends in the evenings, engaging in the game of mahjong. During the initial adjustment period, I found this behavior perplexing and repeatedly requested that he return home earlier. However, he remained unwavering in his routine. He explained that playing mahjong provides him with a much-needed respite from the rigors of daily work. Engaging in a few rounds of mahjong in the evenings serves as a source of rejuvenation, leaving him with a sense of tranquility and elation.

From his perspective, I also recognize the challenges he faces. It is crucial to understand that attempting to change another person is futile unless they are willing to change themselves. The most we can do is adjust our expectations.

Rather than attempting to compel him to act in accordance with my preferences, I demonstrate respect for his individual needs. When he is not present, I utilize my time to engage in activities that align with my personal interests. Conversely, when he is present, I prioritize sharing positive experiences with him. This approach has contributed to a more relaxed demeanor when he engages in leisure activities like mahjong. Additionally, he has demonstrated consideration for my needs, avoiding excessive tardiness upon his return. In instances where I require immediate assistance, he is willing to cancel the mahjong appointment to provide support.

Indeed, when mutual understanding is achieved, it becomes more straightforward to accept one another in one's entirety.

It is often asserted that romantic love begins as a result of the positive attributes of the object of one's affections, and that the ability to sustain a relationship hinges on one's capacity to coexist with the imperfections of one's partner.

During the period of adjustment in a romantic relationship, it is challenging to maintain forward progress when expectations of perfection remain unmet, when shortcomings are met with disapproval, and when inadequacies are met with frustration.

Furthermore, when there is a genuine understanding, acceptance, respect, and love, change may potentially occur.

It is my sincere hope that you will find happiness.

The issue at hand is that your communication style, which includes reasoning with your partner and expressing your opinion, tends to evoke a strong negative reaction from your wife. If you were to consider the situation from her perspective, you would likely find that she desires to be heard and to have her feelings validated. Even if she becomes angry with you, it is important for you, as her husband, to take responsibility and provide her with emotional support. In front of your wife and your mother, your relationship as husband and wife is of paramount importance. Her short temper is a superficial issue; more importantly, she is a vulnerable child inside who needs more companionship and reassurance.

It is a common phenomenon that women tend to avoid expressing their expectations or desires, particularly when it comes to seeking understanding or expressing their frustrations. This is often attributed to the perception that men are more adept at understanding the emotional nuances of others, whereas women are believed to be more adept at expressing their emotions. In instances where a woman becomes angry and her partner is unaware of the cause, it is crucial to provide her with the space and time to express herself. This allows for a more nuanced understanding of her perspective and emotions, which may not always be immediately apparent. It is essential to recognize that everyone's experiences, perspectives, and feelings are unique. Show respect for your wife by allowing her to express herself freely and with gentleness. When she feels loved and understood, she will be better equipped to comprehend and tolerate your family dynamics.

It is also hoped that the wife in question will be able to express herself more directly.

In the event of anger, it is essential to ascertain the underlying cause and source of discomfort.

Hello!

I am a heart exploration coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your tiredness, irritability, anxiety, worry, confusion, pain, and helplessness. But don't worry! I'm here to help.

I won't go into the details of your troubles with being tired of being with your wife, but I would love to give you three pieces of advice!

First of all, I really hope you can understand that in an intimate relationship, whoever is suffering more changes first, including in a husband-and-wife relationship.

From your description, it's clear you're ready to make a change! It's easier for you to change first, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.

You may be thinking, "Why should I change first when she is obviously the dominant one and difficult to get along with? Or, what if she remains the same even if I change first?"

I totally get where you're coming from, but I really think you should change first. Not to get a definitive answer, but to open up a whole new avenue for your relationship.

Also, if you change first, it will be more likely for her to change! There is always mutual influence between partners, so this is a great opportunity for you both to make a positive change.

Second, I have an idea! Why don't you try communicating with her sincerely just once?

As I said before, you can make a change for the better! The first step is to communicate with her sincerely.

The goal of the communication is to let her know your true thoughts!

If you've tried communicating with her and it hasn't worked, don't worry! There are still plenty of other ways you can try to connect with her. Here are a few ideas:

First, put yourself in her shoes and try to understand her. This will help you make her "hear" what you say!

You mentioned that she has always been very dominant, and after giving birth, your mother came to help take care of the baby. However, she couldn't stand your mother and always felt like she was being targeted. Is it possible that she is just very tired after giving birth and not used to postpartum life? (Taking care of a baby is hard work, and hormonal changes in the body can also make her temper a bit worse.) Plus, elderly people have different living habits from younger people, which has made her more sensitive and irritable. Or, she feels that you don't care enough about her and don't understand her, so that's why she argues with you. Of course, saying this is not to say that she is dominant and she is right to argue with you. I hope you can put yourself in her shoes and think about it, which will help improve your communication!

Second, it's a great idea to start with "I" and talk more about your feelings. Avoid or minimize the use of "you" at the beginning, because the latter will make her feel rejected and accused, which is not conducive to communication between you.

For example, you can say to her, "Hey, I want to have a great chat with you. I know that since my mother came, you've been feeling a bit down. Now I feel that you may not even want to go home. I also know that after giving birth to the baby, you are very tired and feel that I don't show you enough consideration. I also know that I may have done something wrong, but I really hope that we can talk things over. I don't want our family atmosphere to be depressing. I really hope that we can discuss things together and be a happy family. I want to continue living with you happily. Is that okay?" and so on.

After you communicate with her in such an honest way, she is very likely to change her attitude because she sees your sincerity. At the same time, she may also tell you her innermost feelings! This will help you achieve good communication, enhance your understanding of each other, and further strengthen your relationship.

I really think you should give her some time and try to communicate with her calmly and without emotion.

Once you've had that honest conversation, she might not change right away. She might be used to being in charge and talking to you that way. But don't worry! You just need to give her some time and communicate with her calmly during this period.

I truly believe that when you are neither condescending nor arrogant, it will be much more difficult for her emotions to affect you. She may even realize that it is not appropriate for her to be angry all the time and make changes accordingly!

I really hope you can see that it takes two to argue. As long as you can communicate with her without getting emotional, it will be really difficult for her to argue with you!

And, of course, you should be prepared for the fact that she will not change. Why? Because she may be just like that—prone to tantrums and used to being dominant!

At this point, you've accepted her as she is, and it's a wonderful thing! It may sound paradoxical, but it's true: change is based on allowing, not forcing.

The great news is that even if she doesn't change, if you change and no longer let her influence you, you can still get along with her on an equal footing. In this way, you won't be mentally exhausted because you are making yourself better!

I really hope you can understand that a good marital relationship is a dynamic and balanced relationship, based on equality between the two parties.

When you can get along with her as equals, something amazing happens. Your mother may also feel empowered by you and stop being so cautious. And the best part is, slowly but surely, the atmosphere in your family will improve!

I really hope my answer helps! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach for an online conversation" at the bottom and I'll be happy to have a one-on-one conversation with you!

Dear Sir, I empathize with your current distress and depression, as well as your desire to break through the status quo. However, I am unsure of the optimal approach to take in this situation. I have previously encountered similar circumstances and believe I may be able to assist. My objective would be to sort out your current family relationship and determine if this could be a beneficial step.

Ultimately, all individuals desire a warm and nurturing home environment, and you are no exception.

The couple has been married for five years. While the wife is typically somewhat assertive, the two have a strong and positive relationship, and they are generally satisfied with each other. (The couple had a child six months ago.)

The introduction of a new family member has resulted in a significant shift in the family dynamic, leading to feelings of discontent and even reluctance to return home among both you and your wife. What factors have contributed to this change?

It is evident that neither you nor your wife have undergone a change in their respective desires and expectations. The mutual desire for a warm home environment remains unchanged.

The question then arises as to whether the subject in question can be considered a "baby." This is an inaccurate characterization, as he is still young and has not yet reached an age where he would be expected to exhibit destructive behavior. Furthermore, he serves as a stabilizing force within the family unit, acting as a unifying factor despite the challenges he may present.

The introduction of your mother into the family dynamic has resulted in a shift from a bilateral relationship between you and your wife to a triangular one involving you, your wife, and your mother. It would be interesting to know whether the questioner has considered how he should navigate this triangular relationship and what his role is within it.

From the information provided, it is not possible to ascertain the nature of the relationship between the subject and his mother. However, the comment "My mother is careful to avoid upsetting my wife" suggests that the subject may be submissive to his mother. This is further evidenced by the subject's tendency to take his mother's side and defend her, even unconsciously or unthinkingly. It is therefore unclear how the subject's wife can feel comfortable in this situation.

In such an unbalanced relationship, it is inevitable that one party will feel uncomfortable, particularly a sensitive woman. Furthermore, the individual in question is the intimate lover of the other, and thus it is reasonable to assume that their innermost expectation is that they will always stand by her side. The intimate lover is the person closest to the other, not someone else (such as the mother).

As the adage states, the posterior determines the cranium. You have assumed the incorrect position. Regardless of your and your mother's caution and apologies, the circumstances will persist. The more you and your mother are prudent and avoid offending your wife, the more you are treating her as an outsider and alienating her.

The more she does not appreciate it, the more she will attempt to assert control, even more so. She is fighting for her status and rights as the mistress of the house. Her instincts are indicating that she should do this, and she is correct.

It is therefore pertinent to inquire of the question owner whether they have reached a resolution to these issues. In order to achieve this, it is essential to ascertain the most appropriate position to adopt in a triangular relationship. Furthermore, it is vital to ensure that the wife feels secure and that her status as mistress of the house is not threatened. It is this author's belief that once these relationships have been resolved, the question owner will suddenly see the light and break through the current predicament like a battering ram.

Ultimately, it is my hope that the questioner will be able to achieve a harmonious family life, replete with warmth.

Gaining insight into the mind, sharing should become a habit. I am a monologist.

My wife and I have been married for 15 years and have two kids.

I'd like to share my thoughts on marriage, having kids, and becoming a dad with the original poster here today. I hope you find my input helpful and inspiring.

Ideally, it's best for the mother and father to take care of the child together, even if it's a bit more tiring.

When it comes to child-rearing, even if your parents have lots of experience, it can still be tough to find a way to agree with your kids, who are new parents. The reason is actually pretty simple. The era in which our parents lived, the level of education they received, and so on, are all a world away from our current social environment, educational resources, and historical background.

If you raise your child using the parenting methods of the older generation, there will naturally be gaps, conflicts, and disagreements. Once the parents take care of the child, this kind of disagreement between the mother-in-law and the wife will become apparent day after day. The wife is happy, the parents are resentful, and for the father, it is even more difficult to be caught in the middle.

It can be tough to balance taking care of your wife's mood and cheering up your mother-in-law. If you and your partner are up for it, it's often best to raise the child together.

A man goes to work to earn money to support the family and cover the family's normal expenses. (I still recommend that before the age of 3, the child is best brought up by the mother.) This has many positive factors for the child's growth, so you can look it up and find out. Here is one thing in particular that I want to remind the father: for the father who supports the family's consumption, don't ever think that it is particularly hard for you to earn money to support the family. It is certainly hard, but that's just what you do as the pillar of the family. Ensuring that the family's normal expenses are met is also a man's duty.

In fact, a mother at home looking after the children works just as hard as you do. If you don't believe it, you can switch roles with her and try staying at home all day with the children to see what it's like.

It's not that wives become irritable, but having a baby can really take its toll on a woman at times.

Even if the child benefits from the elderly person's help, it's not the same as a mother taking care of the baby. The father can't experience the days of taking care of the baby. It's basically impossible to get a full night's sleep. The child has no set time for hunger or urination. But as soon as it cries, no matter how sleepy you are, you have to get up and take care of the child first.

It might be easier for a child to be looked after by an elderly person. For mothers who look after their children full-time, it can be a real "nightmare." Some men might think, "It's just feeding the baby, isn't it?"

It's just changing a diaper, right? Maybe if you let her change it once in a while, you won't think much of it. You might even think your mother is making a fuss over nothing. You do this every day. Why not try it?

I don't think it'll be long before you're screaming for help. A lot of the time, wives get irritable after giving birth because they're really tired from looking after the baby, not because their tempers have changed.

If men think this way, they'll also understand how hard it is to be a mother. In a marriage, what's lacking in many issues is the ability to see each other's efforts and difficulties. When problems arise, stepping into the other person's shoes and thinking from their perspective might lead to a different outcome.

Home is a place for emotions, so it's best not to reason. If reason wins, emotions will grow distant.

For couples living together, most of the time it's about small, random household chores. Personally, I don't think there's a right or wrong way to do chores. There's no need to argue about what's right or wrong just because of a personal problem. Often, when you reason with your wife, you may be right, and you think it's all her fault. Even if you win in the end, you'll have hurt your relationship with her in her heart.

From an emotional standpoint, this is a pretty unwise decision. When two people live together, there's not so much about who's right and who's wrong. If you can see my dedication and I can appreciate your difficulties, that's enough!

Finally, a few words on the subject:

When it comes to husbands and wives

We can only achieve this by respecting and understanding each other's differences.

Accept each other for who you are.

Work through problems together and find solutions together.

With an open mind and a willingness to understand each other.

Enjoy the happiness and joy of love in every season.

Enjoy the happiness of love.

Hello! I'm the place of peace of mind. We met by chance, and I'd love to have a nice, honest chat with you.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're a man who is feeling a bit helpless, powerless, torn between two stances, and exhausted.

It's clear you still have a lot of love and admiration for your wife. You're very accommodating and try to make her happy. It's natural to want a happy and relaxed family life.

I hope you don't mind me asking a few questions.

I'd love to know how you and your wife met! What qualities of hers attracted you initially?

You said she's always been strong, and you felt this before marriage, after marriage, or after having children?

If you felt it before marriage and still insisted on marrying her, it means that she was attractive in your eyes at the time, and her strength may also be one of the charms that attracted you. I totally get it!

I'm wondering if there were any big differences in your family's financial situation?

I'd love to know more about your wife's relationship with your mother before she married you. And how did she feel about your family and your family?

Before you had kids, did you often go home to visit your folks?

I'd love to know what kind of attitude she has every time you go back with her. Have you had any conflicts with your mother?

If so, I'd love to hear how you responded at the time!

If she didn't show a strong side before marriage, didn't have obvious conflicts with her mother, and the two of them lived a happy and sweet life after marriage, and all the bad things only appeared after having a child.

It's totally possible that she's feeling anxious, depressed, or agitated because of the pregnancy and childbirth.

It's totally understandable that she's struggling to adjust to the change from a world of two to a world of three, and then to a world of four when your mother comes to help with the baby.

Maybe she thinks you should be the closest and most trustworthy person in this family. She might be afraid that with the birth of the baby and the arrival of your mother, she'll lose the most important place in your heart.

It's totally normal for her to feel scared, anxious, hopeless, and helpless. She needs your support and care, and she needs to know that you're there for her.

That's why she might say some things that are hard to understand or act in ways that hurt you both. She might make you feel like you have to choose between her and your mom.

I'm sure she's looking for help, hoping you can see how scared and helpless she feels, and give her the trust and support she needs to know you still care about her and love her. Of course, you won't abandon her, and she's safe with you.

Maybe all her words and actions are just her way of trying to find a sense of security?

The answer is to explore and seek, to find the root cause, and then you'll find the light.

This won't happen overnight, but it'll get there! Give each other more time and more chances. You might just discover:

Oh, it's like this, it's not as bad as I thought, and we can do better!

So, are you ready to give it another go with a little more effort? It might be tough, but are you willing to believe in yourself and in her?

Take a moment to ask yourself and give yourself an honest answer.

I really do wish you all the very best for your happiness.

Hello, I'm Yan Shiqi, and I'm thrilled to be able to speak from a woman's perspective about your wife's needs and help in any way I can!

First of all, the original poster said that your wife is a person in a dominant position, and generally such women expect their husbands to be submissive.

At first, she suggested that her mother-in-law take care of the baby, which shows that she doesn't dislike her mother-in-law and that she wants the family to live together—and what a great idea that is!

But with the birth of a child, the family expands, and it's totally normal for you and your mother-in-law to have different opinions on many aspects of child-rearing.

Sometimes, even she and her own mother will have different ideas. At this time, as a husband, you don't need to actually help her solve the problem. All you need to do is agree with her!

As long as she is right, the more reasonable you are, the more counterproductive it will be—but that's okay!

Once you become a mother, your body and physiology take a little longer to recover. But your mother is a great mother-in-law who is very understanding. This is a great opportunity for you to show your mother how much you care!

I totally get it! I know how hard it is to work and earn money while also dealing with family members. But let me tell you, it's a whole other level of challenge when you're a woman giving birth.

It's clear you want to be a great husband and father who brings joy to the family. And you want to be a fantastic son too!

Guess what? The secret to success in these roles is to please your wife!

If you make your wife happy, she will naturally gradually let go in her life and will no longer bring her emotions to her mother-in-law and family. This is the best way to improve the atmosphere in your family!

When it comes to dealing with a strong-willed wife, there are three principles you can try out!

First, your wife is right about everything! Even if you know she is wrong, you can still give her a tolerant understanding and love. And sometimes, a hug is worth a thousand words!

Second, never argue with your wife. When she loses her temper, you have two great options: you can either silently endure it or show weakness and give her a strong kiss or hug. Either way, you'll let her know that no matter what, you will always be there for her with a broad shoulder to lean on!

Third, communicate with her more, in the way she likes. Everyone has their own language of love, and it's so important to speak yours! Some people like to hear sweet nothings, some like their husband to help with the housework, and some look forward to their husband's affirmation.

Think about what you can do to make her happier, and then do it! You'll be amazed at how your positive changes will bring about positive changes in her.

A woman is the feng shui of a family, and her emotions do affect the family atmosphere.

You can absolutely change on your own! Believe in the positive you! Come on (ง •_•)ง

That's my answer! I really hope it helps.

Hello, the topic starter! I can see that you're going through a tough time, and I'm here to help. It's always tricky to make sense of a situation without all the details, but I'm going to do my best. I'm a married woman, so I know all about the challenges of a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. What you've described are your wife's issues and your own concerns. It's great that you have a good relationship with your mother, but it seems like you're still struggling with your mother-in-law. I'm Xiaoxiaomai Floating Ball, a psychological counselor intern, and I'm here to help. I'll help you understand your current situation better and give you some suggestions. I'll also ask you a few questions to help me get to the heart of the matter.

First of all, you think your wife is very strong, but before your mother intervened in your lives, you were able to accept it and balance your relationship as a couple. And when your mother lived with you, you found life even more difficult, and your wife even more dominant. Now think about it, do you think your wife is very strong, and has your mother contributed to this?

I know it's a tough decision, but I really think you should think about it carefully.

It's so interesting how the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be such a tricky topic. It's because people have feelings, and there's a saying that "familiarity breeds affection." It's so true! When you're around someone for a long time, you start to feel more affectionate towards them and trust them more.

Do you understand what I mean? You have lived with your mother since you were a child, and 80% of your perceptions come from your parents. That's a lot! And then there's 10% that comes from your own social experience and life accumulation. The remaining 10% is something you can work on with the rest of your life experience until you die.

We all know how it is. Something happens, and you're faced with a choice. Who do you trust more? It's natural to turn to your mother in moments like this. After all, you've grown up together, and your ways of thinking and seeing the world are almost identical. But if you want to change the current situation, you have to step out of your family role. When your mother talks to you about your wife, you can view the situation from the perspective of a neighbor. Does that still hurt?

It can be really tough when your wife dislikes your mother. It's natural to want to jump in and defend your mum, but it's important to remember that your wife is your wife and your mum is your mum. It's not always easy to see eye to eye, but it's worth trying to find a way to talk through things together. After all, your wife comes from another family and has her own perceptions and values. This can cause some differences in how you see things, but that's totally normal. It's also worth remembering that there's no right or wrong in the conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. It's just that the two sides have different perceptions, different ways of doing things, and poor communication, which makes it difficult to express what they want to say. This can lead to deeper and deeper conflicts and misunderstandings, which is really frustrating. Your current situation is a long-term avoidance of the problem, and you always try to cover it up and gloss over it when solving problems. It's understandable that you want to avoid conflict, but it's important to try to talk through things together.

I'm really sorry to have to tell you that all of this has led to many conflicts in your family relationships and caused you to suffer greatly.

Every mother has a special place in her child's heart, and it's natural for you to feel like you're a god to your child. We all have different ways of dealing with problems, and it's understandable that you've been dealing with your mother and wife's issues in a way that feels right to you. But, over time, these patterns can start to affect your relationships. Your wife might feel like you don't love her enough, and your mother might feel like you're not being respectful. It's hard to know who's right or wrong without a specific incident. I can imagine this is a tough situation for you. Have you ever thought about letting your mother live her own life and letting your children figure things out on their own? It might help to remember that you can't shoulder the family's financial resources alone. Your wife is your partner, and she deserves your understanding. Pregnancy can be a challenging time, and it's normal for women's moods to change. Your wife's sharper personality might be a sign that she's going through something. This can last for about three years, and it's important to be patient with her during this time. It's also good to remember that your in-laws and husband can offer support during this period. As a man, you might not fully understand the challenges your wife is facing. It's natural to think that every woman has given birth, but your mother is there to help you take care of your wife and children. It's okay if you can't live in harmony.

I think it would be best for you both if your mother went back to her own life. You two should work it out between yourselves.

After the baby is born, the mother comes to help you young couple take care of the baby. It makes you feel that your home is getting more and more exciting!

My wife has always been quite strong-willed, and it's been an exciting journey watching her grow in this area! She has become increasingly intolerant of my mother, feeling that she is targeting her in every way. There have even been a few arguments, to the extent that now my mother is even a little afraid of her and is wary of provoking her at every turn. Not only that, but she has also become very sensitive and easily irritated in other ways.

She doesn't like the current family atmosphere at all, and she doesn't even want to go home. You feel the same way. You even wonder how much longer you can stand being with her.

You feel tired, but you're also feeling a lot of anger and resentment!

You feel that your wife may not fully respect your opinions, and even if you please her, it doesn't always work as well as you'd like. It seems that these family matters have really caused you a lot of trouble, leaving you feeling a bit powerless and helpless, full of grievances and anger.

So, how did this amazing family situation come about? Let's take a look at the incredible changes in your family.

First, the baby was born six months ago. You have gone from a world of two to a world of three!

Such a change would generally make life hectic even without the arrival of another person. After all, taking care of a baby is time-consuming and energy-intensive—but oh, so rewarding!

And a baby doesn't care about other people's emotions. It cries and poops whenever it wants, which means you get to go with the flow!

One baby is enough to keep us on our toes! And of course, we also have to go to work and take care of our own lives.

Secondly, your mother has come to your little family! She's here to help take care of the baby.

The baby's mother also gets to take care of the baby! There are bound to be differences between the two generations in their ideas about caring for the baby, which makes it an exciting time for everyone involved.

On top of that, they didn't live together before. The mother-in-law has her own ideas and lifestyle, and the mother has hers.

It's only natural for two people who previously knew neither each other nor each other's habits to have conflicts and arguments when living together. And let's not forget the conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, which can easily arise even if there is no baby to take care of!

After all, you have lived with your mother for a long time and you understand your mother's habits very well. But your wife may not necessarily understand, so it's important to be patient with her!

Your wife has only been a mother for half a year, and she's already an amazing mom! She may have a lot of thoughts and hopes to control her life situation in the family. But in fact, the arrival of the baby has disrupted her life rhythm, and she also has to get along with her mother-in-law.

It's totally normal for her emotions to get a bit out of control under double pressure. It's so important to consider the possibility of postpartum depression.

Some people who suffer from postpartum depression do not have particularly obvious symptoms. On the surface, they may seem difficult to get along with and quick to anger, but in reality, they may be filled with anxiety and unease.

At this time, he needs more understanding and care, and what he needs is not necessarily your flattery. But he does need your tolerance and support!

Of course, this will put pressure on you, after all, you are also a new father! You are not very experienced in how to take care of the baby or how to coordinate the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law — but you will learn!

It's totally normal to feel aggrieved when dealing with a wife who has lost control of her emotions. And it's also normal to feel that the family atmosphere is not good.

Dealing with all kinds of conflicts and contradictions in the family is a great opportunity to learn and grow! How do you handle these challenges?

Your baby is already six months old, which is so exciting! If you feed him well, you shouldn't have too much trouble leaving him for half a day. You can take your wife out for some time alone, which will be a wonderful treat for her!

It doesn't have to be every day, but at least every few days, you should definitely make time for it! Get back in tune with each other and find the warmth and intimacy in your relationship.

Such harmony and warmth is an excellent way to boost your mood!

Now, when it comes to the relationship between your daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, this is really an amazing opportunity for you to put your wisdom to the test!

You have the amazing opportunity to be the bridge between your daughter-in-law and your mother. Both women love you, and they love you in different ways.

They all have expectations of you, which means you have the exciting opportunity to find a balance between their expectations!

Mothers work hard, and daughters-in-law don't have it easy either. But your family is even more exciting with two people in it! When everyone's emotions are on edge, something as small as a spark can set off an explosive situation, and the family could be thrown into chaos.

To be honest, this is the norm in many families, and it's totally normal!

You can turn this chaotic situation into a mutually comfortable state! All you need to do is find your own comfort zone and maintain a certain amount of psychological distance from each other. You can sort out your family's affairs and decide which matters don't matter, whether they are right or wrong. You can also decide which matters can be decided by whoever is listening.

What else can we talk about? Let's categorize the issues and see what we can let go of. Then, we can focus on the things that need to be discussed in advance. This way, we can avoid getting emotional and saying angry things to each other.

Anger only makes things worse! It's time to calm down and find a solution.

When discussing things, it's best to do so when you're both calm. When you're emotional, take care of your own emotions first. Then, you'll be ready to dive into the discussion!

Now, you both don't want to go home, which is obviously avoiding the problem and also avoiding conflict. But this is not the only way to solve problems!

The fantastic solution to this problem is to reach mutual understanding through communication and interaction between the two parties. This will allow you to find the perfect distance and approach that everyone is comfortable with!

I'm glad you're here talking about your problems and finding solutions. Here are some suggestions that I think will be helpful:

Your wife is strong, and a strong wife makes you feel helpless, but not appreciated.

Your wife is pregnant, and your mother-in-law has come to help her. She suggested it, and you should let her. Your mother is being careful and making you feel awkward, but you should let her do the work and be happy.

"In other ways, she has also become very sensitive, and it is easy for me to anger her when I communicate with her." A woman's physical condition will deteriorate after giving birth. It will take at least three years or more for her body to recuperate and repair.

If you are in a bad mood, you may be suffering from postpartum depression. It is important to pay more attention to both the physical and emotional aspects and communicate more.

"She feels that the current family atmosphere is unpleasant and doesn't want to go home. I feel the same way, afraid of her return or facing her at home. I let her have her way and try to please her, but she doesn't appreciate it." During the answer, I didn't see approval or appreciation. Simply pleasing her isn't enough. You need to understand the root cause of her reluctance to return home and find a solution.

It is important to understand that women are very prone to depression after giving birth and need the love and care of their families. You have done a very good job, but she doesn't appreciate it, and this is how you feel.

Every temper is driven by a need, and it is crucial to meet that need.

You must communicate more, interact more, and praise more. This is a very difficult time for husbands too. They have a mother who is working hard to help you, young children at the bottom, and a spouse in the middle who is going through a period of repair.

The husband's role during this period is also crucial. Unconditional love and tolerance are essential for family happiness. Genuine understanding is also vital.

I love you, and I know the world loves you too. I'm confident this will be helpful to you.

Hello question asker!

The family atmosphere is tiring. The questioner seems indecisive and finds fault with everything.

The questioner's situation reminds me of a post I once saw on another platform. After having a child, the mother started to take care of it, and the family started to fall apart. The female protagonist had a bad temper and even hit her mother-in-law. Many people criticized her, but she wrote a long reply explaining her side of the story.

I'm saying this to let the questioner know that many families have similar conflicts. While every family is different, child-rearing and relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law often have similarities. There's a reason for everything, and we can try to find the hidden reasons and follow the clues to find a solution. Blind tolerance isn't the answer.

The wife has always been in a strong position. When our baby was born six months ago, my mother came to help us take care of the baby, and our family became more difficult. At first, she asked my mother to help us take care of the baby. After my mother came for two or three months, I became uncomfortable with her and felt that she was targeting her. There were several arguments, and now my mother is afraid of her.

1. The wife has always been strong, so how did you get along with her when you were together? I think communication between you should have been easy.

Otherwise, they wouldn't have married. Think about if your communication methods have changed.

2. The woman invited her mother-in-law to help with the children, but after she came, there were more conflicts. Has the questioner thought about what the conflicts are about?

Different solutions can be used for different conflicts.

Child-rearing methods differ between generations. The internet offers many options, from experts to parents. Inexperienced young people tend to choose what they like. The older generation's methods are often not accepted, leading to conflicts.

As the husband, you can reconcile with each other, ease the emotions of both sides, and then find the best way to consult both sides separately. If the hostess insists on her own opinion, then there should be a reasonable division of labor. The mother-in-law should not interfere in some areas. You have to tell the two women that conflicts arise in order to take better care of the baby. Everyone is reasonable.

3. The woman's emotions are strong. Her mother-in-law is afraid of her. The woman feels her mother-in-law targets her. When the woman has these emotions, does the question asker listen to her story? Does he calm her down? Does he ignore it? Has he talked to his mother about the conflict? I hope she understands. There are three adults in the family. The mother-in-law and the man are close. The woman feels alone and vulnerable. She is like a hedgehog, always standing on her spikes. She even defends against attacks.

She's very sensitive. I irritate her. Family matters are said to be discussed with me, but I'm just told. My opinions aren't accepted, and I'm argued with!

1. It's possible the woman is suffering from postpartum depression. The questioner can communicate with her in a caring tone and tell her that for her health, you are willing to go to the hospital with her. This will be a blessing for you and your baby.

2. The woman seems to be in charge of communication. Think back: do you not get a say in all matters, or just in certain matters? And when you do get a say, do you consider her feelings or just stick to the facts?

The questioner should consider his mother, but he needs to be tactful. Many men are good at communication and can make both sides happy.

She doesn't like the family atmosphere and doesn't want to go home. I feel the same. I let her have her way, try to please her, but she doesn't appreciate it. If I don't let her have her way, we fight!

I want to calm down and reason with her, but I can't convince her. Sometimes I win, but she won't admit it. I always give in and admit fault first. If I do that too much, she thinks I'm just going through the motions. I don't know how much longer I can keep up with her. I feel so tired.

1. No one would like this family atmosphere. Everyone would feel depressed and uncomfortable, including the mother. If this continues, people will have psychological problems. It may also affect your marriage.

Has the questioner thought of a solution? If the daughter-in-law and her mother don't get along, can the mother go back and the two of them separate?

Hire a postpartum helper or ask your mother-in-law to help. Or discuss it with the woman in charge.

2. Don't be blindly tolerant. It makes people think you're being perfunctory. Admit your own mistakes, but don't admit mistakes that aren't yours.

Tell the woman your thoughts. Say, "No matter how reasonable it is, my love for you is no match for it. If you feel comfortable admitting your fault, I will too, but I am doing it out of love, not because I did something wrong." Does this way of communicating feel more sincere?

3. The questioner is tired, and I believe the female owner is too. You haven't solved the problems at all. You've only admitted your faults. She feels your attitude is perfunctory and you don't care. So, when you have time, please invite the female owner out for a walk alone to a place you liked to go when you were dating. You can communicate without emotions.

Having children means more than just having an extra person in the family. It also means trouble and worry. The problem you're facing is common. If you think about it this way, you may feel relieved. As a man, try to think of a solution. If you can manage the relationship between the two women, it may improve your communication at work.

I'm Shao Jin, a counselor. I'm here to listen and support you.

Hello, I'm Qiaomu. It's nice to meet you.

From your description, I empathize with you. I also had a similar experience after giving birth. It was challenging to regulate my emotions and handle family relationships calmly. I believe this was due to our family structure suddenly changing. However, there are solutions to these challenges.

I have some thoughts that I believe will be helpful for you.

1️⃣ Being a new mother is difficult. The arrival of a child, the pain of childbirth, hormonal changes, worry, and exhaustion are things the husband cannot understand. Talk to your wife to see if she needs to release these emotions.

2. Your wife's relationship with your mother is one of the most challenging relationships to navigate. It's crucial for you to be more patient, clarify the specifics of their interactions, and identify the root of the issue. You must play an active role in helping them work through this relationship. Your wife and mother come from two different families and have an age gap. It's normal to have conflicts, so communication is essential.

3️⃣ Listening to you say that your wife used to be quite dominant, I realized that no matter what kind of woman you live with, our marriage is a subject that requires hard work. You must have a way of getting along with each other that suits you, but when problems come rushing in, you both get a little flustered. You need to calm down and take care of your emotions.

I wish you a happy life.

From what you've said, it seems like you've hit the nail on the head. I was in a similar situation to your wife for a while. I don't know what changed, but I just didn't want to go home. When I got home, I couldn't stand anything.

Let me try to look at this from your wife's point of view and see if I can find a way forward.

Your wife originally asked her mother-in-law to take care of the kids, but since she came, it seems to have thrown off the original plan.

It seems like you have to take advice from your mother-in-law when it comes to looking after children. The habits of the younger generation are not the same as those of the older generation. For example, your wife may think that you have to boil baby bottles after washing them, but your mother-in-law may not think that is necessary.

Or, when it comes to bathing the child, the wife may want to bathe them every day, while the mother-in-law may think it's too cold in winter and that they can wait another day.

Since your mother-in-law came, you and your wife seem to be on different pages. It seems like everything at home is chosen based on your preferences. Your wife doesn't have much personal space, and she's not your real mother, so it's understandable that your mother-in-law wouldn't care about what your wife wants to eat every day. It's also hard for her to speak her mind to your mother. The distance between her and your son has become awkward, and they can't communicate with each other. They speak different languages, and you and your mother share highly compatible values, so you can agree on everything. Your wife just can't stand it.

The atmosphere in which you grew up in different families has shaped your values.

Your environment is shaped by your mindset. If you're carrying a lot of resentment, it's only natural that you won't feel happy when you get home. It's like a dark cloud is hanging over your house. You don't want to go home, and even when you're there, you don't like anything you see. You just want to lose your temper for no reason.

How can we resolve this?

1. If it's possible, it's best to have the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in different places. The relationship between them has always been a tough one. If they don't live under the same roof, they can still see each other from time to time. Distance creates beauty, so they don't have to see each other all the time. This allows them to discover the pros and cons of the situation, without feeling too restricted.

2. Show your wife you care about her hobbies and preferences. What does she usually like to eat and do? Plan little surprises for her and give her small gifts every holiday to make her happy and show her you care. Love can make a person shine.

3. Use your wife's good mood to have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Talk about your true feelings, ask her what the real reason is behind not wanting to go home, and why she often loses her temper and argues with people. Let her speak her mind so you can find the right solution. Don't be self-righteous, thinking you're being nice by letting her have her way.

If you really love someone, try to understand her better, know what kind of life she wants to live, and don't impose your own wishes on her, even if you still feel that she is ungrateful.

I hope these tips will be helpful for you.

Hello, I'm a woman, and my baby is eight. I've had a similar experience.

When a family of two becomes a family of three, there is a process of adjustment. Before, the two of you might have come home from work, played with your phones, and then gone to bed. Now, you have gone from being a child of your parents to becoming the parents of a child. It is difficult to adapt at once, and taking care of a baby is hard work. Especially as a woman, you have to suffer a lot from pregnancy, and the changes to your figure can make you feel inferior and lack confidence. After giving birth, you can say that you are a 24-hour nanny. Why did she agree to her mother-in-law helping to take care of the baby?

She can't take care of everything on her own. Men should be more understanding of their wives and talk to them more. Talk about the hard work of taking care of the baby and her grievances. Otherwise, she may become depressed.

This isn't good for the baby, her, or our family. What do you think?

Second, I want to say something to our mother-in-law. She has also entered another life. She is also a little upset. She used to have a very free life, but now she has to follow your pace and take care of the baby and the mood of the daughter-in-law. She now feels like she's walking on thin ice. You are in the middle. These two most important women in your life are together because of you. If it weren't for you, they might never have met.

Coordinate their relationship from the middle. Buy your mother-in-law a dress and say it's the changing season. Make soup and say your mother feels her daughter-in-law takes care of the child at night too hard.

It's not about big surprises. It's the little things that make her feel warm. She doesn't want to be strong. She wants to be a little bird. So, show her some small, warm gestures. She'll be very touched. You can try it.

If you want a happy family, you have to contribute. I wish you happiness and your family happiness!