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After nearly half a year with my girlfriend, it's not her first time with me, what should I do about the heartache?

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After nearly half a year with my girlfriend, it's not her first time with me, what should I do about the heartache? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

After almost half a year with my girlfriend, I found out she's not a virgin. She lost her virginity in junior high. Although she also gave it to me, I'm still concerned about it. She used to be very promiscuous. She said she didn't realize the severity of it back then, probably because she was too immature. Later, I often pointed it out to her, and only then did she understand how serious it was. This issue has been a barrier for me. I often argue with her over it. She's been quite good to me, but every time I think about her past, I feel unhappy. I often remind her, and she has changed a lot, but I still can't get over it. Because I gave her my first time. For some reason, I feel awkward and it doesn't feel good. I always feel heartbroken whenever I think about her past. What should I do?

Nell Nell A total of 8417 people have been helped

Hello, I can tell from your words how sad, hurt, and confused you are about what happened between you and your girlfriend. I will describe my point of view, and my next answer will be inspiring to you.

I can tell from your words that you're jealous of your girlfriend's past. This shows that you've been jealous of her relationships before. Jealousy can also be a sign of too much pride. You may not be able to accept unfair treatment.

You gave your girlfriend your virginity, but she didn't give hers to you.

Jealousy is a form of self-protection. It protects you from betrayal. Envy and jealousy are different. Envy is based on comparison. Jealousy is based on a threat to a relationship.

Men are more likely to show sexual jealousy, while women are more likely to show emotional jealousy. This is normal. Jealousy is just like other emotions. Look at your previous jealous outbursts towards your girlfriend in the right light.

You should know that your girlfriend makes you feel awkward because you're jealous. How should you deal with this?

First, accept your jealousy of your girlfriend's past. Allow it to exist, and focus on the present. Express your feelings to her. She's young and knows little about sex. These problems arose, but it's not her fault.

The past is the past. Your girlfriend has changed a lot for you.

Best wishes!

I love you, world.

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Comments

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Violet Knight Learning is a way to embrace the complexity of the world.

I understand your feelings are hurt and it's hard to see past this, but holding onto her history might be preventing you from truly experiencing the present relationship you two share. Maybe it's time to focus on the person she is now and the love you both have for each other. Consider talking openly about your feelings without blame, and try to work through this together as a team.

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Hunter Miller The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

It sounds like you're carrying a lot of emotional weight from learning about her past. It's important to remember that everyone has a history, and people grow and change. She's shown commitment to you and has made changes in her life. Perhaps you could seek support, whether from a counselor or a trusted friend, to help process these feelings. Letting go of the past can open up space for a more fulfilling future together.

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Sean Anderson Forgiveness is a way to make our lives more meaningful and fulfilling.

Your concerns are valid, but constantly reminding her of her past might be causing unnecessary pain to both of you. Try to reflect on why her past affects you so deeply and consider what you truly want from this relationship. If you decide to continue, working on trust and acceptance might be key. Communication is crucial, so talk to her about your feelings, but also listen to hers and see if you can find a way forward together.

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