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After spending eight months with a blind date, do you care about the fact that you two don't communicate well?

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After spending eight months with a blind date, do you care about the fact that you two don't communicate well? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

My blind date was two years older than me and had never been in a relationship before. At most, she had gone out to dinner with the boys she liked. Later, because her mother insisted that she find a local boy, they broke up.

I myself am not a big talker and have a small circle of friends. I used to be very outgoing and talkative, but due to my work environment, I have become more and more closed off.

I met someone through a friend, and it took me five months of courting to start acting like a couple. She kept asking me to go back to work, and only agreed to be my girlfriend if I had a plan for my career.

In the end, I wore her down, and she changed her mind and said that we didn't have a common language and couldn't talk in depth.

I'm also very troubled by communication problems. My father and some friends and leaders have attacked me for this, and it's not that I don't want to change for the better, it's just that there is no environment or things around me that make me change for the better.

Another thing is that I have never had this problem with my ex-girlfriends. We could say whatever we wanted, or I could just listen quietly to what they had to say and then comfort and summarize.

If I want to make my blind date happy, I need to stay enthusiastic, optimistic and positive, and keep making witty remarks to make her feel happy. I also need to switch from time to time to being a thinker, constantly offering insightful opinions on the things around me, etc.

It's too much to ask of someone with an empty head like me.

If she had switched to one of the men she had dated before – lawyers, calligraphers, fund managers, etc. – who were much more capable than me, she would definitely have been more eloquent than me. I would just be a lowly office worker.

But there is one more thing: her best friend has privately advised me to leave her many times, saying that she has never been in love and thinks too much, wanting too much, which has caused her to miss many quality guys. She is also overcautious herself, basically guys will give up after chasing her for a month or two, who would hang out with me for eight months without saying yes to going out like her.

She says she has no problem communicating with her female friends, but she finds it difficult to communicate with guys. She is an only child and is used to people around her accommodating her. She especially likes to communicate in a joking manner, and it is difficult for me to pick up on her words.

Although they get along well when they meet, they hold hands and go shopping like a couple in love. But once they are apart, they rarely communicate on WeChat. Even when they send messages, they are blunt and lack emotion, as if they are having a difficult conversation.

She also tried to tease me or mock me in a joking manner, but because I couldn't respond, it got awkward. I didn't know how to break the ice, and I didn't want to give up on her.

It feels like we make a little progress on every date, but this communication problem is getting more and more stressful for me. How should I solve it?

Hazel Reed Hazel Reed A total of 8041 people have been helped

Good day, my name is Xintan Coach Fei Yun. Life is a beautiful journey, not for appreciation, but for growth and development.

You are experiencing significant distress due to difficulties in communicating effectively with your romantic partner. While you do not wish to terminate the relationship, you also desire to take it to the next level.

Intimacy is established through interaction between the two parties.

Your girlfriend's best friend has advised you to terminate the relationship, but you have your own observations and judgments. You still have a favorable impression of her and hope to develop it further, which demonstrates your sincerity and confidence.

However, in your day-to-day interactions, you feel that your communication is not sufficiently in-depth and is not contributing effectively to the development of your relationship. This is causing you considerable distress and anxiety.

She is inexperienced in the context of formal dating, and therefore lacks the requisite experience of getting along with the opposite sex. Additionally, she is an only child, which may have contributed to a lack of concern for others' feelings.

Rather than exhibiting "overly cautious" behavior, as your best friend suggested, you appear to lack social experience and tend to prioritize your parents' arrangements and suggestions.

Let us consider your case. You are still able to communicate with your former partners in an effortless and natural manner, which indicates that you have no issues with your language expression and communication skills.

Furthermore, you have made progress on every date, which indicates that you are becoming more adept at spending time with her. This suggests that you are constantly improving as you get to know each other.

2. It is recommended that you communicate more and share your experiences with each other. Make changes within your respective abilities.

As previously stated, it is important to consider her limitations. She is an only child who has been overprotected by her parents, which has resulted in a lack of experience in taking care of other people's feelings. Additionally, she has limited social experience and a lack of exposure to the opposite sex.

Additionally, you can identify your resources and advantages. You are a quiet office worker with a gentle personality who can read people and respond to changes in their emotions.

Dating is a process of getting to know each other, strengthening the relationship, and working through difficulties together with the goal of determining whether the other person is a suitable long-term partner.

When you meet again, you can create topics and share your true feelings about being together, including any concerns or worries you may have. You can also discuss any embarrassment you may feel, and listen to her while also expressing your needs.

It is important to reach a consensus and identify common goals to facilitate the development of the relationship. This will enable you to work together to find solutions and make appropriate changes for the benefit of both parties and the relationship.

I would like to recommend the Korean drama "Reply 1988" as a source of inspiration for you. It is full of warmth and love, and it can help you identify new topics to discuss with her.

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards, [Your name] [Your designation]

Should you wish to continue the dialogue, you are invited to follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service".

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Matthew Stephen Jackson Matthew Stephen Jackson A total of 8998 people have been helped

When facing relationship problems, many people tend to focus on whether communication is going well or not. However, there's so much more to it than that! Often, deeper problems stem from a mismatch between expectations and the reality of the partner.

Before you dive into a long-term relationship, it's essential to figure out what you truly want and what qualities your dream partner should have.

First, it's important to remember that there's a big difference between liking someone, falling in love with someone, and marrying someone. If you're looking for a partner with whom you may marry in the future, then it's a great idea to be as specific as possible about your requirements and expectations.

It's not just about external qualities, but also about whether you share the same values, goals, and lifestyle—and that's a great thing!

From what you've told me, it's clear you have some great feelings for her. But it seems like you're not quite where you want to be in the relationship. So, it's time to think about whether he really is your ideal partner.

If there's a significant gap between her and your ideal partner and the relationship isn't as deep as you'd hoped, it might be time to reassess things!

If you decide to stay with him and want to resolve the communication problems, it is not enough to simply learn some communication skills. The good news is that you can make changes from within to enhance your own value and attractiveness!

This may include improving your communication skills, expanding your knowledge and skills, and constantly improving your personal charm. The good news is that when you reach a certain level, she'll truly recognize your value, thereby deepening her interest and affection for you!

When it comes to emotional issues, it's so important to reflect deeply and examine your inner self. This is because we often get caught up in emotional swings and superficial conflicts, while ignoring deeper causes and solutions. So, it's essential to take a step back and really think about what's going on for you.

Once we truly understand our own needs and expectations, we can build a rock-solid relationship with others!

Let's dive right in and talk about the levels and goals of relationships! Falling in love is all about appreciating someone's external charm or certain personal qualities. But being in a relationship is about building an intimate bond based on that appreciation.

But marriage is another level entirely! It requires consideration of so many factors, including each other's family backgrounds, living habits, views on money, and more.

From your description, it's clear you have some feelings for her! But you're also aware of the communication barriers and the fact that your relationship could be even better. In this case, you get to calmly analyze whether he meets your expectations and standards for a future partner!

If there are significant differences between him and your ideal partner, or if the relationship is not as strong as you had hoped, then it's time for a change!

If you decide to stay with her and want to resolve communication problems, it's time to make some exciting changes from within to enhance your attractiveness and value!

This may include improving your communication skills, developing self-confidence, expanding your knowledge and skills, and constantly improving your personal charm. And when you do all of that, something amazing is going to happen: she'll be more interested in you and fall in love with you!

In short, love requires us to find someone who is truly right for us, rather than constantly adapting to someone who makes us feel uncomfortable. The good news is that through in-depth thinking and self-improvement, you can gain a clearer understanding of your needs and expectations, and then make an informed emotional choice!

I really hope you can think about the above questions seriously and find your own path to happiness!

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Comments

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Zane Davis Learning is a dance of ideas and concepts.

I can totally relate to feeling stuck in a situation where you're trying your best but it's just not clicking. It sounds like you've been through a lot with this person, and maybe it's time to reflect on what you really want from a relationship. Sometimes, no matter how much effort we put in, if the connection isn't there, it might be healthier to move on and find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

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Pamela Anderson Be honest in your speech and you will have no need to fear the consequences.

It seems like you've been putting a lot of pressure on yourself to meet her expectations, which can be exhausting. Perhaps it's worth considering what you need from a partner as well. Communication is a twoway street, and it's important that both parties feel comfortable and understood. If she's finding it difficult to communicate with you and it's causing stress, it might be helpful to have an open conversation about your feelings and see if you can find common ground.

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Julia Anderson A person who forgives is a person who is in control of their emotions.

The struggle you're facing with communication is real, and it's okay to admit that it's challenging. Maybe instead of trying to change yourself completely, you could focus on building up your confidence in expressing your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, being genuine and vulnerable can create a deeper connection than trying to be witty or insightful all the time. It might also help to seek advice from a counselor or therapist who can provide guidance on improving communication skills.

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