Ambiguous girls are intimate with others, but can't get over the hurdle. What should I do?

Hello. I can tell from your description that you're feeling frustrated, disappointed, reluctant, and confused.

You found out that even though you haven't entered into a formal relationship after spending a few months together, you're already interested in her romantically. You were having dinner with her when you saw the other guy acting intimately towards her.

On the one hand, you feel like you've been insulted, betrayed, and wronged.

On the other hand, you're disappointed in the girl's behavior, have lost trust in her, feel cheated, and can't let go.

But you don't want to let the girl go, and you feel pretty conflicted. Is that right?

We get it. It's normal to feel upset when you see other people acting ambiguously towards the girl you love.

We need to understand what's really going on in our hearts. Why do we feel this way?

It would be helpful to clarify your relationship with each other.

Even though you've been together for a few months and are in that ambiguous period, you don't have a clear relationship with each other. In other words, you're just casual acquaintances.

Does that mean you don't have to be loyal and responsible to each other in the same way you would in an intimate relationship?

To the girl, you're just another guy. You can flirt with girls and pursue them, so why shouldn't other guys do the same?

After all, you and the girl don't have a clear relationship. You're both independent and free individuals, and you don't owe each other any responsibility, including loyalty.

So, the girl's behavior isn't cheating, and you don't have to worry about being left alone forever.

Think about why you haven't made your relationship clear to each other.

Given how much this is stressing you out, it seems like you really like this girl.

You really need to calm down and think about why you haven't clarified your relationship.

Specifically, what are your thoughts on this? Are you trying to move the relationship forward and hoping to clarify things soon?

Or are you also a little concerned about the relationship and not looking forward to moving forward with it?

Not rushing to clarify the relationship also gives you options?

Your thoughts about the girl's behavior might be a reflection of your true feelings.

Knowing yourself better can help you feel more at ease.

The girl has already given her answer. She told the other person that you're chasing her and want to get along with you. The boy put his arm around her, and she also expressed her avoidance.

It's possible that what's really bothering you isn't someone else. It might just be you.

Wishing you the best!

Hello,

I know it's hard to understand or accept this intimate gesture between them right now.

You've known this girl for several months. You thought you were getting close to being together when you discovered her lie.

Let's not dwell on what she said for now. I'm also surprised you're about to enter a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and are still hugging with another person of the opposite sex. It's likely this boy is also interested in her, and she hasn't decided who to choose at this point. You can communicate with her about it. "Once cheated, never used" is understandable. There's another saying: there are only 0 times and countless times of cheating. To tell one lie, you have to use many lies to cover it up.

And if someone has enjoyed the benefits of lying, they're probably not going to want to tell the truth. Ask yourself if she can make you feel at ease.

If she really can't give you a sense of security, then it might be time to move on.

I hope you can take the initiative and avoid getting hurt again. Love is made up of passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Take another look at your relationship and ask yourself if you and she are a good match. What do you like about her, and is your love for her stronger because you've invested time and energy in her?

I get it. I've been there. It's tough when you're the one who's been cheated on. We shouldn't have high expectations of others, but we also shouldn't change our inner principles. Relationships don't develop through one person giving in, but through both parties trusting and supporting each other.

Hello! I'm smiling.

I understand your question better now, so I'll give you a hug.

You seem to be jealous of this girl because you think she's yours. You're also worried about her eating with other guys.

You saw the girl being hugged by her friend. You couldn't understand or let go because you think cheating is unforgivable. You have already decided that she is wrong. You will still be unable to let go of this matter. There will be no further development with this girl.

You didn't develop a sense of trust during infancy. This makes you distrustful of the world and people. You are afraid of being deceived. Once you feel deceived, you don't trust the person and don't want to develop a relationship with them.

In the Erikson period of adolescence (12-18 years old), the task is to establish identity, prevent confusion, and experience fidelity. You have a problem with your adolescence and lack fidelity. You feel that one deception is enough for life.

I've also summarized ways to help you.

(1) Talk to this girl about your feelings and thoughts.

If you still care, end the relationship.

If you want to keep the relationship, then do it. These things might always affect you, or they might not. Either way, you have to face it.

(3) Sharing your feelings with a friend can help you solve your problems.

"Attachment in Psychotherapy: From Nurturing to Healing, from Theory to Practice" is a good book. You can learn about how your attachment relationship developed by reading it.

(5) You can talk about your problems, so you've let go of the deception. It's not something you can't talk about. The impact of the deception is gradually decreasing, but it takes time to change.

The world and I love you!

Good luck!

Hello, question owner!

From what you've told me, it's clear you have strong feelings for this girl. Even though you're not sure where things stand, it seems like you already see her as "the one." It's totally normal to feel this way! I've been there, and I'm here to help. It sounds like you're struggling with the idea of other guys showing interest in her. It's natural to feel a bit crazy inside when you're not sure what's going on. I've been there, too, and I've got some tips to help you through this.

Your relationship with the girl

As you mentioned, your relationship has been developing over the past few months and has now entered the ambiguous stage. This just means that you haven't yet officially established a romantic relationship and haven't made your relationship clear to the outside world. This makes your relationship still quite unstable, and you're still in the period of choosing and investigating, whether to stay or leave, close or distant. During this period, it is possible for one of the parties to leave or choose someone else, which is totally understandable.

It's totally normal for a girl to behave this way during the ambiguous period.

Your relationship with your meal companion

It's totally normal for there to be other people interested in you before you've got things totally clear with your partner. So your meal companion is your competitor and rival, and the actions of your rival trigger your jealousy and envy.

Your friend is right, actually. From the girl's perspective, you are both suitors, but there's a difference in the sequence. At the end of the day, you're both on equal footing.

I can see you're feeling pretty emotional about this.

It's totally understandable that you're feeling so strongly about this. It's clear that you're going through a lot of intense emotions right now. It's okay to feel this way.

First, you really like the girl. It's totally normal to feel this way! People in love are exclusive and want the other person to be absolutely loyal. From this point, it feels like you have already regarded her as your own from the bottom of your heart, and you have gone beyond the period of ambiguity and have reached the stage of commitment and loyalty. It may be that you have not realized this and have not confessed your feelings and made it definite. You have not given the girl a definite relationship, but you are asking the girl to treat you according to a definite relationship (saying that she is cheating on you), which is also a bit difficult for the girl.

Second, it might be helpful to think about whether your emotional reaction is your usual way of dealing with anxiety, or if it's just a reaction to this particular situation. If this is how you usually handle things, you can always make some adjustments from within yourself. It might not be related to this situation, but it could be helpful to look at where that uncomfortable emotional reaction is coming from.

I've got some advice for you!

1. If you really like the girl, it's time to confess your feelings! Don't wait any longer. Let her know how you feel, and clarify the relationship, as well as the boundaries of your relationship and how you get along with other people.

2. Adjust your own perception. Some of your ideas, such as "once a cheater, always a cheater" and "a woman who cheats is a woman with prejudices," might be affecting your relationship with women. It would be really helpful for you to know more about women and understand them better.

3. You can do it! Work on your competitiveness, increase your personal charm in terms of ability, character, interests and hobbies, and give yourself more points. You'll be able to move on from your jealousy.

We hope you find this information helpful! Wishing you the best!

During the ambiguous period, the girl initially concealed the fact that she had dined with a male acquaintance. She then observed another girl being embraced by a male companion, which prompted her to reflect on her own feelings.

To assist in overcoming this obstacle, the following advice is offered:

1. It is important to consider the underlying factors that influence our discomfort with intimate gestures.

The profound impact of the sudden and unexpected touch from a female companion has caused significant distress and discomfort. If we allow our emotions to take control, we risk losing sight of the underlying factors that elicit such a strong emotional response.

The process of tracing the thoughts behind the behavior can facilitate a deeper understanding of the underlying distress. The following directions are provided for consideration:

1. Sociocultural concepts such as the prohibition of male-female physical contact, the virgin complex, and the notion that allowing a male partner to touch one is indecent have exerted a subtle influence on our attitudes towards physical contact with the opposite sex.

2. Previous emotional experiences have rendered us susceptible to such physical contact, which evokes distressing recollections.

3. There is a pervasive sense of anxiety and trepidation regarding the ability to take the initiative and maintain a sense of control within the relationship.

...

Due to space limitations, the aforementioned points have been presented in only three directions: the impact of the broader cultural environment on the individual, the influence of past experiences on the individual, and the individual's self-perception. The inquirer is encouraged to combine their personal circumstances and identify additional possibilities to facilitate the transcendence of suffering and the realization of its true nature.

2. In order to maintain or even improve the relationship, it may be beneficial to adjust one's own ideas based on the underlying mechanism.

2. In order to maintain or even improve the relationship, it may be beneficial to adjust one's perception based on the underlying mechanism.

The girl's description of herself as the girlfriend, "Although I, the girlfriend, tried to avoid it," indicates that she was also taken unawares and took measures to safeguard her physical integrity. From this vantage point, the girl is more akin to a "victim" who experienced the violation of her physical boundaries at the hands of a known opposite-sex acquaintance without her consent.

From this perspective, it may be more beneficial to focus on providing girls with understanding and comfort than on assigning blame.

From the perspective of the questioner, the distress caused by a girl in an ambiguous relationship eating with a member of the opposite sex and being touched by them is also a genuine phenomenon. When we consider the psychological mechanisms behind these distressing experiences, it becomes evident that if one wishes to maintain or even advance the relationship, it may be necessary to adjust one's thinking based on past experiences. This adjustment can help us understand that the discomfort experienced is not a direct result of the event itself, but rather a consequence of external factors such as worldly culture, personal life experience, or individual perceptions.

1. Worldly influences

Secular influences are typically subtle and indirect, making it challenging to think in an objective and independent manner.

It is encouraging to note that, should one become aware of this during the course of this discussion, the initial stages of adjustment and change may already be underway.

In the contemporary era of openness and individual freedom, there exists a multitude of perspectives on physical contact. The host of this question may engage in discourse with others or utilize online platforms to gain insight into these varied viewpoints.

Updating one's ideas can facilitate adaptation to the contemporary social milieu, which is distinct from the feudal era.

2. Previous experiences

If one is compelled to address past wounds, it indicates that they have not yet fully healed, or that even if they have begun to heal, residual pain persists.

It can be reasonably concluded that seeking the assistance of a professional psychologist to provide guidance and support throughout the process may be one of the safest and most effective options.

3. Self-Awareness

Similarly, self-awareness is derived from the self-image that is shaped by the aggregation of past experiences. It is challenging to achieve self-awareness and implement necessary adjustments in this domain.

Should you so desire, the assistance of a professional psychologist may also be a safe and effective option.

3. In the event that one is contemplating the dissolution of a relationship, it is imperative to confront the inevitable emotional distress that accompanies such a decision and to develop effective coping mechanisms.

After considerable reflection and effort, one may ultimately decide to terminate an ambiguous relationship. However, it is important to acknowledge the emotional distress associated with ending such a relationship and the inherent unpredictability of future circumstances.

Consequently, if one still wishes to terminate the relationship after careful consideration and effort, it is also necessary to consider how to say goodbye after the relationship has been established and to learn how to deal with one's own thoughts and behaviors when one is in an ambiguous relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

The capacity to grow through pain and to allow it to become a source of nourishment for growth is a valuable quality. It is my hope that this experience has also facilitated a deeper understanding of relationships.

I am a psychologist whose primary focus is on emotional well-being, rather than an in-depth exploration of human nature. I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello!

I am a heart exploration coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your inner feelings of discomfort, confusion, inability to let go, pain, and a sense of being overwhelmed. But you can overcome these feelings!

I won't go into the details of your annoyance at the girl you have a crush on being intimate with someone else, but I do have three pieces of advice for you that I think you'll find really helpful!

First, I suggest you try to accept your current situation. It's a great first step!

Doing so will make your heart feel slightly lighter, which will help you think about what to do next—and you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel!

You say you know a girl. You've known her for a few months. You haven't confirmed your relationship, but you've reached the stage of being intimate. You found her having dinner with a close friend of the opposite sex. The man put his arm around her, although she avoided it. You can't let it go. She went to dinner with that man behind your back. You think, "Once cheated, never used." Now you feel bad. In fact, your state is understandable. In your heart, although you haven't confirmed your relationship, you already regard her as your girlfriend. You definitely can't accept her having intimate actions with other boys. Everyone longs to be the only and most important person in the other's heart. She cheated on you. This feeling is very likely to be the same as yours. You can't let it go. So you have to try to accept your state. "See" the painful self that can't let go but doesn't know what to do for the time being. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things. Otherwise, your brain will be filled with all kinds of negative emotions.

And the best part is, when you allow yourself to try to accept your current situation, you'll be able to promote change in the status quo! It might sound a little contradictory, but that's because change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, I highly recommend that you take a rational look at your own state of mind.

Rational thinking is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you!

Look at it rationally, and you can do two great things:

It's time to accept what's happened and move forward. You can't change what's done, but you can change how you respond to it.

It's clear you care deeply about this matter, and I admire your passion! While it's true that it has already happened and cannot be changed, you have the power to accept it, even if passively.

Second, get excited because you can change the status quo!

Once you take the initiative and put in the effort, you'll be amazed at how your mindset shifts and your relationship with her transforms!

When you look at it rationally like this, you'll be amazed at how much those negative emotions will start to fade away!

I really encourage you to focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better!

When you rationally consider your situation, you may also know what to do. At this time, you should focus on yourself and do your best. You can do this!

For example, you can ask yourself, "This matter cannot be changed, do you really want to 'never use it again'?" I think you definitely don't want to give up the relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be so sad. In other words, you still want to develop it with her. Then, if this is your starting point, you can only accept reality and give her a chance!

Once you're sure you still want to continue with her, have a great chat with her and tell her how you feel! When you communicate with her sincerely, I hope you can try to put yourself in her shoes. You're not in a committed relationship, so she has the "right" to see other boys, which you cannot interfere with. You're not her boyfriend (and even if you were her boyfriend, she could still go out and see friends of the opposite sex). At the same time, she might have been worried that you would misunderstand her if she went out with other guys behind your back. She later clarified her intentions, including the fact that she also avoided the man's actions of putting his arm around her. All of this shows that she cares about you very much! Of course, saying this is not an excuse for her cheating on you, but I just hope that you can try to understand her and put yourself in her shoes. This will not only help improve communication between you, but may also allow you to gradually let go. In other words, you need to understand what your own goals are.

You can also try talking about it with a close friend you trust to hear their thoughts and suggestions, which may also make you feel better. It's a great way to get things off your chest and let those negative emotions flow! Not only that, but their opinions will also help you determine how to get along with her in the future. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the situation!

Once you start taking action, you'll be amazed at how quickly those negative emotions start to melt away. It's incredible how taking action can be the best way to beat those negative feelings!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach" at the bottom and I'll be in touch!

Hello,

She was eager to tell you that the guy she was friends with had touched him. You saw her flinch. Even though you haven't confessed your feelings, you're uncomfortable with other people looking at the girl you like. Dealing with this well will help your relationship grow. If not, there's no future...

You need to ask yourself: is she your girlfriend? The truth is, she's probably just an ambiguous object.

So, who she dates really has nothing to do with you. Just like the opposite sex, perhaps the opposite sex is more proactive and understands girls' feelings.

Second, the other person might like this girl even more than you do. That's probably why he's touching her in front of you without thinking, while you're still angry and don't understand your own feelings.

Or maybe you understand it, but you're still not sure you can take action. Are you afraid of failure, or do you just think there's no chance?

What are you afraid of? You say you want a simple relationship, and you hope that the relationship will be simple.

But a simple relationship seems to be getting in the way of liking this girl. You had no right to ask about her previous world because you weren't in it.

Your current situation may involve you, but you're not competing, you're just focusing on this simple relationship.

The reason is noble, but the reality is that you're confused. The bottom line is that he's cheating on you with her, but now you have no relationship with her. You're just jealous and making irrational judgments.

In the animal world, only the strongest males get to mate. It's the same in the human world: if you don't seize your opportunities, you'll end up alone. What can you say to a girl who's worried about you and wants an explanation?

After everything that's happened, you still haven't confirmed your relationship. I'm not sure why you're hesitating! Is it because you're still in the observation stage? You see your ambiguous girlfriend being intimate with someone else, and it seems like a green field of opportunities! You feel that the other person is sowing wild oats and bringing you shame.

It makes you feel bad about losing face, and it makes you feel uncomfortable and unstable inside. But now you can actually go and make appropriate adjustments! And ask yourself why your ambiguous girlfriend would do something like this with someone else. Is she casting a wide net to catch as many fish as possible?

In other words, some people will raise their survival rate by keeping a spare tire. It is very likely that the other person will also think about it in various ways, make a lot of judgments for their own sake, or this matter has nothing to do with your girlfriend because the other person is just a friend.

She went out to dinner with a close opposite-sex friend behind your back and said she could clarify. She probably lied out of concern that you would overthink it, which is understandable. And the fact that your ambiguous girlfriend is avoiding you shows that the other person still has some sense of propriety. I'm sure you'll be able to talk to the girl about your thoughts and clarify the position of both parties.

Your relationship is also improving, so it's best to cherish it and not act on impulse. You both still have a lot of stories to unfold together. You may be very worried about what your girlfriend might do to hurt you, so it's best to seek psychological counseling as soon as possible to understand each other's worldviews and then confirm the relationship. At the same time, you should also let yourself know that some members of the opposite sex may not have any ill intent, so just keep your distance. Good luck!

ZQ?

Dear questioner, I'm here for you. I understand how you feel anxious, sad, hurt, concerned, and unable to let go.

It's also worth noting that getting too caught up in a single issue can sometimes cause a bit of a heartache. This is something you need to work through with yourself, and it's a journey that will help you to understand yourself better.

It's so important to remember that everyone is an independent person with their own thoughts and feelings. Everyone has the right to make their own choices and to socialize in their own way.

And since you're not in a clear romantic relationship with each other and haven't made any promises or commitments, the other person has every right to pursue you and decide whether or not to accept. They're not your possession. Your feelings may come from your own understanding of relationships.

It's so important to remember that two independent individuals must be based on mutual respect and trust. However, we all live in the big system of society, and we can't help but be influenced and disturbed by the environment or external relationships.

It's okay if a woman is approached closely by someone of the opposite sex sometimes. It's just a matter of analyzing the situation. If the other person doesn't want to accept it, they'll avoid it.

I can see how you might feel this way. It's natural to want to possess your girlfriend completely and to prevent her from contacting or interacting with other people. However, this seems unlikely and unrealistic. What you need to do now is sort out your own emotional block, not the problem with your relationship with her, and even less the problem of the other person contacting or interacting with members of the opposite sex.

Once you've released your own emotional block, you'll be able to resolve the problem. It's not about your girlfriend, but about the future partner you'll get along with. That way, you can develop an intimate relationship with a healthy attitude.

I really hope you find this analysis and suggestions helpful!

I know a girl I've known for a few months. We haven't confirmed our relationship, but we've reached the ambiguous stage. Today I found out that she cheated on me (she hid it, but I found out after she lied), and she had dinner with a close friend of the opposite sex. She said she wasn't cheating...

.

"

Let's focus on your description, which seems to be a fairly accurate psychological fact.

1. You haven't established a relationship. This means you're not in a romantic relationship yet. You're just one of her many suitors. She hasn't formally accepted you. So, you don't have a right to accuse her. But, you can make your demands. You're both competing for the relationship. This should inspire you to pursue her more. Be better to her. Win her over. Then, she'll admit to the relationship.

There's no point in moping around here.

It's not about the word "cheating" at all. It's just that you feel psychologically that she is already yours. It's your possessive desire that stimulates your male pride, making you feel violated and hurt.

2. The ambiguous period is when two people test each other's feelings. If one person doesn't take the initiative to end the relationship, it can quickly go south. Sometimes if you miss the opportunity, the other person might misunderstand and lose the chance, and someone else will take it.

If you like someone, just go ahead and express it. Even if it doesn't work out, there's still a 50% chance it will.

3. On the plus side, she went out to dinner with a friend of the opposite sex without telling you. This shows she's considerate of your feelings and doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. If you question her too aggressively, you'll push her into the arms of someone else.

Because you don't trust her and you're still just friends, you haven't yet exercised the rights that a boyfriend or girlfriend should have. So, her rejection and resistance to the other person's hugging behavior, as well as her repeated mention that you are pursuing her, shows that she has you in her heart. What else are you unsatisfied with?

Go after her! Find your inner fighting spirit and stop worrying.

After careful review of the provided details, it is evident that the two of you have developed a close bond and a strong sense of attachment. It is clear that you have a desire to pursue a romantic relationship with her and to have her exclusively devoted to you.

At this juncture, you are particularly concerned that she may be taken away by someone else. The girl and the boy had a meal together without notifying you in advance, and you observed the boy attempting to put his arm around the girl.

This further exacerbates the situation, leading to the perception that the act is deceitful.

You are experiencing a high level of anger towards the act of cheating.

It is clear that these emotions are entirely understandable, and it is likely that many boys have experienced similar situations and feelings.

From a problem-solving perspective, we encourage you to consider the following:

1. When the boy attempted to put his arm around the girl, she avoided it. Does this indicate that the girl is maintaining boundaries with the boy?

2. Has the girl provided false information regarding her interaction with the boy? Was there an agreement in place requiring advance notification of social interactions with the opposite sex?

Has there been any previous evidence of dishonesty on her part?

3. Please describe the girl's positive attributes that initially attracted you to her. What is her character like?

4. Please describe the girl's view of the relationship. Based on her description of the phone call to clarify things, it seems that she is sincere.

5. You indicated that you are unable to move forward, so how do you currently feel about this situation? What are your thoughts on the matter? Please record them. Are these thoughts based on facts?

I am confident that with some reflection, you will be able to resolve the issues at hand. Emotional matters are not straightforward to navigate, but with a compassionate approach, they can be addressed effectively.

Be comforted during this confusing time.

First, you can't stop your girlfriend from having dinner with other men. Even if you get married,

It's normal for a girlfriend or wife to go out with someone else. This will make it harder for you to move forward.

Second, it's unclear how long the ambiguity between you two has been. She told you she still wants to develop the relationship, so it's not over.

It's fine for her to go out with someone she's close to, even before you're officially together. You have to accept this. The point is that she's still willing to develop the relationship with you. You can't keep dwelling on this. You have to be more understanding and forgive her. If you still like her, then look to the future and move on.

Third, your lack of self-confidence may be the root of the problem. In a relationship between a man and a woman, you should be willing to commit to each other. Treat her well and believe that she will do the same for you.

When you're in a relationship, you should trust your partner. Doubting is a sign of low self-confidence.

If the other person is still cheating or acting badly, you can break up. At least you'll be true to yourself. If you're in a relationship and you're unsure, you can end it.

.

Your own emotional and mental state is affected.

Hope this helps.

Pretentious young people (ID: qingnianJIA2020) looking forward to communicating with you.

Yixinli Answering Questions Hall Mutual Aid Community, the World and I Love You

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, I can tell you're really struggling! The other person went out to dinner with her and tried to hug her, but she avoided it. I can also tell you're someone who treats relationships very seriously, which is great!

Let's get things sorted out.

1. It's natural to feel this way. Anyone would feel awkward if the person they were seeing went out to dinner with someone else. But here's the key point: You're still in the "ambiguous period," meaning that you haven't established a relationship yet.

Before the relationship is established, the other person doesn't have the right to choose. This isn't to excuse the woman, though.

From what I can see, the woman also has a good impression of you. So, why haven't you established a relationship after knowing each other for a few months?

When did this guy meet her? If they met before they met you but didn't become a couple, it's likely that the woman probably didn't like him very much and instead felt that she liked you more.

2. There's no established boyfriend-girlfriend relationship between her and me, but it's been a while. I'm not saying I can't move on from other guys chasing her, but I can't stand intimate actions. I can't get past this hurdle.

I get that you haven't said it out loud, but it seems like you're dating. If that's the case, you must agree that she's already your girlfriend. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so upset. But there's still something wrong here. You didn't say it, she agreed, and she might think you don't really like her. Of course, she can also have a choice. If you're dating, and she goes to dinner with someone else, and he still wants to hold her, it's a different story.

On top of that, the girl might be testing you or trying to send a message: "Get a move on and establish a relationship."

You're basically agreeing to the relationship, but she might not feel the same way! Most girls definitely want a guy to say, "Be my girlfriend."

That's when you can really start a relationship.

On top of that, the girl can ask the guy to come with you to clarify. From what she said, you can tell she cares more about you. If she didn't care about you, she wouldn't need to ask the guy to come with you to clarify.

Have a chat with the girl about the time she went out to dinner with this guy. See how she answers you. If she's being honest and you really care about her, are you willing to let her go?

If you talk it over, you establish a relationship, and then ask the girl to tell the guy that you are together, I believe that the guy will also lose interest in pursuing her.

If you're not sure about this relationship, don't be afraid to communicate your feelings. If the other person is interested, then go ahead and stay together. Just remember to be clear about your intentions, otherwise the other person might get the wrong idea. If you're not sure about the relationship, you might be giving other people a chance. But if the relationship is confirmed and the other person is still flirting with other people, that's a different story.

Since you care about your girlfriend and are in pain, why not communicate with her properly? No one is perfect, and giving her a chance is also giving yourself a chance.

Wishing you the best!

I am learning to accept the situation in a detached manner. After reading your message, I can comprehend the pain, confusion, and suffering you are experiencing.

The actions of the girl in question are in direct opposition to your values and core beliefs. You are currently experiencing a state of internal conflict, weighing the options of either giving up or choosing to act.

I will then proceed to express my thoughts as I understand them, which you may find useful as a reference.

Firstly, it can be posited that your belief is that any act of betrayal will irrevocably damage the relationship in question. This would indicate that you attach significant importance to maintaining healthy and positive relationships.

The primary concern is not abandonment, but rather, betrayal. Conversely, one generally does not engage in actions that would betray a friend, and one cannot accept such betrayal from a friend.

However, there are numerous factors in this world that are beyond our control. Some individuals may recognize that betrayal is a disgraceful act.

It is possible that some individuals may not prioritize this aspect. Conversely, this indicates that you are highly conscious of safeguarding your own interests.

This is a beneficial quality. It is, in fact, advisable to limit contact with individuals who have betrayed a friendship.

Consequently, it is imperative to learn to regulate one's emotions and state of mind. This entails establishing a distance from those who have betrayed one.

It is also important to recognise that emotions and mentality are a personal construct. In some instances, it may be necessary to maintain a certain distance.

On the one hand, she is attempting to improve her emotional state. Consequently, you are currently in a relationship with your girlfriend.

The incident in question is precisely as it was observed. It is undoubtedly a source of considerable confusion and distress.

This is a distressing situation for you. If you are asked to calm your mind, adjust your emotional state, and then identify a solution to the problem,

It may prove challenging. Nevertheless, it is possible to modify one's mentality and state of mind.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon feel better. In the meantime, you are unable to resolve the issue independently or modify your mindset, which has led you to seek assistance.

Seeking assistance is a commendable action. The desired assistance will be provided.

Seeking assistance is an indication of wisdom.

Let us now turn our attention to the emotional aspects of this situation. It is important to note at the outset that you and your girlfriend are not currently in a committed relationship.

It is not necessary for you to seek your consent as to who he dines with or what kind of behavior he displays. Should the woman continue to behave in this manner after the relationship has been formalized, it may be deemed inappropriate.

It is also possible, however, that he is in a period of choosing between you and another partner.

Although it can be argued that it is her prerogative. From your perspective, you believe that you are already in an ambiguous relationship, and therefore he should refrain from contacting other men or boys, is this correct?

This is a prevalent perspective among men. Concurrently, each individual possesses inherent autonomy.

Furthermore, it is imperative to respect each individual's autonomy and freedom. It is crucial to recognize that relationships are not solely about complete possession or domination.

Does this also imply that the female partner may have alternative considerations?

Your assertion that you are unable to accept other men pursuing this woman indicates that you hold a strong affection for her.

It can be argued that possessiveness is a natural human emotion. It may be the case that your possessiveness is somewhat stronger than average.

Thus, the question arises as to how one might adjust one's mentality in order to better align with the inherent reciprocity of relationships.

One must believe that if a woman truly likes a man and chooses to be with him, she will allow him to possess her.

If he chooses another, it indicates that there is no destined connection between you.

Concurrently, do you experience a modicum of trepidation in the face of competition? If you are genuinely enamored of this young lady, it is inevitable that you will have to contend with other suitors.

It is possible that you will emerge victorious. A female, particularly one who is attractive or exceptional, is frequently the object of interest for multiple males simultaneously.

This phenomenon is to be expected. If one has positive feelings towards another individual, it is likely that the latter will reciprocate.

This indicates that you possess refined judgment. Should you desire a change, it would be prudent to implement the necessary alterations.

It is possible to enhance one's own appeal to the other person and thereby increase the likelihood of success.

In lieu of dwelling on or ruminating on painful and challenging matters, it is preferable to adopt an optimistic outlook and take the initiative.

It is recommended that the aforementioned individual pursue the desired object of their affections in a courageous and determined manner. It is important to acknowledge that men are, by nature, competitive and aggressive creatures.

This is our nature. Therefore, it is imperative to demonstrate courage and pursue one's objectives.

Even if the endeavor proves unsuccessful, we have invested significant effort and resources into it.

It is important to note that a negative emotional state is not conducive to success. It is therefore essential to avoid feelings of sadness and depression. I can empathise with this sentiment, having experienced similar feelings myself.

However, I have elected to adopt a more courageous and proactive approach. It is my contention that proactive individuals are the most attractive to women.

It is also possible that the girl's dinner with this individual was merely a coincidence, yet the individual in question harbored particular intentions. Could such a scenario be plausible?

Therefore, if one makes a fuss for no apparent reason or makes a significant issue out of a relatively minor matter, the girl in question may perceive this as an indication of immaturity.

If the matter is resolved in an appropriate manner, the girl will perceive that you are a mature individual.

It can be reasonably assumed that the aforementioned actions will result in an increase in the level of trust and favoritism from the aforementioned party.

I will now present a case study of how a wife saved her husband. However, I believe the underlying principles are applicable in a wider context.

Upon discovering her husband's infidelity, the wife will typically respond with tears and a dramatic display of emotion.

Consequently, the husband will become increasingly reluctant to return home and will instead experience a growing desire to leave. He will also begin to find other men more attractive.

A husband who has also engaged in infidelity seeks counsel from a friend. The friend recommends that he act as if nothing has occurred, treat his wife with exceptional kindness when he returns home, and observe her response after a few months.

Consequently, each time his wife returned home with dinner prepared and inquired about his well-being as though nothing had transpired, despite her emotional distress, he experienced an intensifying sense of culpability. He reflected that his wife had provided exemplary care and support, yet he had still engaged in infidelity. He perceived this act as a moral transgression and a deeply disgraceful action.

Over time, he resumed his role within the family unit.

I would like to conclude by sharing one final point. It is, in essence, the same as the preceding points.

The manner in which this matter is addressed is a personal decision. The emotional response to the situation is a private matter.

One may choose to be tortured by this matter and toss and turn endlessly, or one may opt for a more mature, rational, and calm approach to solving it.

Even when an individual's mind is filled with a multitude of conflicting emotions, it is still possible for them to appear calm on the surface and remain unruffled in the face of adversity.

It is advisable to first attempt to resolve the issue at hand and then address the emotional aspects.

This concludes the presentation. It is hoped that the information provided has been of assistance.

It is therefore advisable to achieve a state of calm before attempting to resolve a problem. I will now proceed to present a technique derived from the practice of meditation, which may assist in achieving this state of calm.

One may attempt this technique. Upon inhalation, one should silently contemplate tranquility, and upon exhalation, one should silently reflect on relaxation.

One may attempt this technique ten or more times to ascertain its efficacy.

It is worth noting that the ability to solve problems effectively is perceived as a sign of maturity and masculinity in many social contexts.

Good day, host.

I empathize with the hostess's feelings of jealousy towards the individual she has romantic feelings for.

It is possible for any young man or woman who has not yet established a relationship to make friends with people they admire.

This is also applicable to the host and the girl they like.

The young lady in question is currently in the phase of clandestine affection, with no concrete indications of a romantic partnership.

It is possible that the girl is testing your reaction, although this is not a certainty.

I hope the host does not miss the opportunity to seize the chance to make a bold confession.

Ambiguity does not equate to love. It must be explicitly and clearly communicated.

Furthermore, the host has stated that the relationship is currently ambiguous and that a romantic relationship has not yet been established. This gesture of confession is of great importance.

Some individuals believe that physical displays of affection, such as holding hands, hugging, or kissing, constitute a confession. However, this is not always the case. For a confession to be valid, it must be verbalized and acknowledged by the other party.

2. Do not miss this opportunity. Take the initiative to express your feelings.

If the host is still hesitant, there is a possibility that the other person may form the impression that you do not like them and may ultimately choose to pursue a relationship with someone else.

The greatest regret in life is not being with someone you love, rather than missing the opportunity to even express your feelings.

Therefore, even if the outcome is not optimal, you will have no cause for regret.

3. Regarding internal conflict

It is undoubtedly challenging to observe the individual you hold affection for in a relationship with someone outside of your family.

However, it is essential to first establish oneself as a responsible and reliable partner before expressing feelings of jealousy.

As previously stated, the current mentality is that the host is anxious, and the top priority is to confess to the other person first, rather than dwelling on it.

It is my hope that the poster will be able to experience mutual affection in their love life.

I wish you the best for the future.

I am writing to express my warm regards for the month of June and to convey my affection for the world.

Hello, dear questioner!

I totally get where you're coming from. At the beginning of a relationship, it's totally normal to feel a bit unsettled by the things you mentioned.

It's totally normal to feel this way. I know it can feel pretty crazy when you think about it too much.

One of the respondents has already given a great answer, and I'd love to add a few more points, hoping to offer you some small comfort and inspiration.

1. How would you describe intimacy between a girl and someone else?

Love is all about exclusivity, don't you think?

I'm just wondering, do you mind if "this guy put his arm around my girlfriend"? And how do you feel about such behavior?

I'm just wondering, do you have such intimate behavior with this girl?

It's so true that everyone reacts differently to the same thing because of their own beliefs.

It's so true that everyone reacts differently to the same thing because of their own beliefs.

It's totally normal for some people to engage in slightly intimate behavior with the opposite sex, while others prefer to maintain a relatively clear distance from those who aren't their romantic partners.

It's totally normal for everyone to have different opinions about such behavior, and to act differently as a result.

Take a deep breath and think about it. What bothers you the most is the guy hugging him or the girlfriend going to dinner with other people of the opposite sex, etc.

The girlfriend was just being cautious, and from her point of view, she didn't do anything wrong, right?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

You can even make a list yourself to see if such a way of thinking is realistic or reasonable!

This is what we often call critical thinking, and it's a great way to make sure we're thinking in the best way possible!

It's so important to be tolerant of different opinions and to guard against possible personal bias.

You've got a few options here. You can make a judgment, you can choose not to make a judgment for now, or you can modify an existing judgment.

It's always a good idea to keep an open mind and consider different problem-solving methods.

I feel like if you're okay with your girlfriend eating with other people of the opposite sex, then you shouldn't be too bothered by the guy's more intimate actions. After all, she hasn't done anything wrong here, and she shouldn't have to bear the consequences.

2. Take a moment to think about what your discomfort is trying to tell you.

I'm here for you if you want to talk.

Every little discomfort is actually a message from our bodies to tell us something. It could be that some of our needs haven't been met or that we haven't been giving them the attention they deserve.

If you're struggling to move on from this, it's okay. We all have different journeys and different speeds. What I'm wondering is, what effort are you willing to make to move forward?

Let's think about how we define deception.

I'm just wondering, in some cases, does concealing the truth constitute deception?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on people who hide the illness of a family member with cancer just to spare the seriously ill family member from such a heavy psychological burden.

Have you ever thought about why your girlfriend might have kept this from you?

If you're in a relationship with your girlfriend, how would you gently ask her to maintain a distance when interacting with the opposite sex?

I really do think these are very important.

I really think these are very important.

It doesn't matter if you decide to go your separate ways or if you choose to stay together, these are things we'll all have to face at some point.

So, let's try to clearly see our own thoughts and needs, as well as the needs of the other person. That way, we'll be able to establish an intimate relationship that satisfies both of us!

Being in love is another wonderful step in our personal growth.

We really hope you can see your own beliefs clearly from this incident, and also understand others. In your interactions, you can better understand each other, and view everything that happens with a more open and tolerant attitude, so as to establish an intimate relationship that nourishes each other.

If you're interested, you can read "It turns out that understanding is more important than love." I think you'll find it really helpful!

If you're interested, I'd love for you to read "It Turns Out That Understanding Is More Important Than Love."

I'm so sorry to hear that! Sending you lots of love and support!

Hello, question asker!

? He sees your text right now. You're up early! Is it because you can't sleep because you're worried about something?

From what you've told me, it seems like you have high expectations when it comes to intimacy. It's only been a few months since you met this girl, but you haven't confessed your feelings yet.

I know it can be tough when the girl goes out to dinner with another man of the opposite sex. It's natural to feel a little jealous and maybe even a bit bad about it. I've been married for more than 20 years, and I'd love to share a few thoughts that might help.

First of all, I'd love to know what your relationship with the girl is like. If there hasn't been a declaration of love from you, then you're just friends.

It's only been a few months, so it's totally normal to still be in the "guessing game" stage. It's not surprising that you haven't directly expressed your feelings yet. It's not easy to know what to do in this situation!

I'd love to ask you something. If you like someone, why don't you just say so?

❤️Secondly, what is cheating? You haven't even started yet, so how can there be cheating?

I just wanted to check in and see if you think it's appropriate to bring up such terms in a relationship. In the love triangle theory, love is likened to a triangle, with the three sides consisting of the three major elements of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

I'd love to hear if you have them!

❤️Then, the most comfortable relationship: no prevarication, no perfunctoriness, there are arguments, but never cold wars, there is a response to everything, everything is settled, actions speak louder than all promises, it is only meaningful to go in both directions! This is an era of value exchange, and there must be a reason behind any relationship's closeness or departure. I know it can be tough to navigate relationships, especially when you're trying to figure out what you want and what the other person wants. It's okay to take time to figure it out. You'll get there!

I know it can be tough to know what to do in these situations. I'm not sure if you agree with this analysis, but I just wanted to share my thoughts.

? I just wanted to check in about something. You said you saw the guy put his arm around my girlfriend. I know she tried to avoid it, but I'm still a little upset. I guess I have a pretty simple view of things: one lie, and it's over! From what you said, it seems like she knows how to manage boundaries, though.

Even if she is being pursued by the opposite sex, it means that she has something that the opposite sex appreciates! And she chose you, so you should be really happy!

I'm just wondering, why don't you think this way?

And remember, at every age, you may encounter a member of the opposite sex who appreciates you. It's so important to control our boundary management, give the other person enough recognition and tolerance, and trust each other, rather than being psychologically unbalanced.

I think you did a great thing by telling her how you felt and letting her know what you were thinking. It would be even better if you took the opportunity to declare your love!

I think it really makes your identity clear, don't you agree?

I just love this poem by Roy Croft: "I love you, not only for the way you look, but also for the way I look when I'm with you." It's so true that love is not about possession, but about mutual achievement!

I would like to present two examples from my own life experience.

In the initial sentence, life is defined as a process that will invariably result in the continual reversal of prior conclusions.

The reason may be the acquisition of new information or a change in the individual's preferences. For instance, many individuals dislike cilantro when they are young but develop a preference for it as they age. Similarly, our preferences in other domains may also evolve, resulting in a shift in our judgments of certain things. With regard to the acquisition of new information, as illustrated in the case of the original poster, one might not have been aware of this girl's behavior prior to this point. Had this knowledge been available, it is probable that an ambiguous period with her would have been avoided.

If it is accepted that previous conclusions are constantly overturned, then the situation the original poster is facing is not difficult to solve. The situation can be resolved by making a new choice based on new supplementary information. This new choice will result in a new conclusion, which is only new in terms of time and conditions. It does not necessarily negate the previous conclusion. To illustrate, the original poster originally made a judgment based on three pieces of information (ABC). This judgment can be updated to reflect the new information (ABCD), resulting in a new conclusion. The content of the judgment has not changed; it is simply a new conclusion based on new information.

The second sentence posits that the difficulties inherent to the act of choosing are a consequence of the absence of an absolute winning option. This implies that each option possesses both elements that elicit positive affect and elements that elicit negative affect.

Therefore, the actual judgment to be made in the choice is which is more important: the absolute must-have of the like, or the absolute must-not-have of the dislike? In the dilemma faced by the original poster, the absolute must-have of the like is probably that even if the girl does something more extreme, the original poster still desires to be with her. The absolute must-not-have of the dislike is almost that if the original poster had known about this, the two of them would never have initiated a relationship.