Anxiety and pain, arguments with friends, differing opinions, always stuck on that hurdle?

Good morning,

Perhaps a gentle pat on the shoulder would be helpful.

Are you experiencing anxiety and discomfort, engaging in disagreements with friends, and struggling to move past this challenge?

I had a disagreement with a friend and we couldn't come to an agreement. I'm having difficulty moving on from this and I'm considering distancing myself from her, but we still live together. I'm unsure of the best way forward. I'm struggling to love myself and I'm considering distancing myself from her.

The question is brief, yet it encompasses a multitude of complexities. As the conflict intensifies, so does the pain and the need to understand one's emotions. After all, it's not easy to deliberately dislike others.

I wonder if I might ask why we always disagree with our friends, even though we are obviously friends.

It is important to recognize that relationships can take many forms. Just as friendships can evolve through constructive dialogue, they can also face challenges that lead to a distance between individuals. However, with time and understanding, these differences can be resolved, and the relationship can still flourish.

This illustrates that friendships can vary greatly, with each individual having their own unique approach to relationships and self-perception. Currently, I find it challenging to embrace these differences and the reality of limited communication. It's a natural response, and there's no obligation to suppress one's feelings and emotions.

It is understandable that many people are afraid to express their emotions and reject a relationship. There are many complex reasons for this, including the internal pressure caused by fear and the fear that they are not meeting social expectations. This can result in individuals strongly condemning themselves with moral concepts, denying their true feelings, and demanding that they must meet external standards. This can, unfortunately, make them even more miserable.

Gaining an understanding of our emotions allows us to view things from an objective perspective. Could I ask what caused the disagreement? Are there reasons that I'm not aware of? If I were to gain a full understanding of the situation, would I be willing to resolve the misunderstanding and conflict and accept the friend again?

When you have a better understanding of your needs in the relationship, you may find it easier to set clearer boundaries, such as what is "acceptable" and what is "not acceptable". You can respond to the other person more accurately, and the boundaries of the relationship can be better defined.

Even though we live under the same roof, I feel that my room for action has become expanded and free, and I am no longer easily affected by the other person's actions.

However, if, after taking a moment to calm down, you find that you still wish to reconcile, you can respect this and try to communicate with your friend again. It is important to remember that the communication process should be as emotionless as possible. You may find it helpful to use sentences beginning with "I" to express yourself more often and sentences beginning with "you" less often. Sentences beginning with "I" focus on expressing my feelings, while sentences beginning with "you" are more likely to be perceived by the listener as accusatory.

However, if you feel that the communication did not go well and you feel very uncomfortable, you might consider taking some time and distance yourself to ease the tension, and then communicate again. When we are hot-headed, we are prone to being emotional, and this is true. If, after that, you still don't feel optimistic, we can still go back to our own boundaries, re-evaluate the relationship, and make new adjustments and relationship settings.

No matter what the outcome may be, it is important to be kind to yourself and to avoid self-denial. In any relationship, both parties play a role in its success. Even if your heart is open and loving, but the other person is not, they may still experience the relationship as cold and distant. It is essential to recognize that maintaining a healthy and loving relationship requires effort from both partners.

I hope these answers are helpful to you.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you.