Are men so selfish that they love themselves?

Hello!

From your description, I can tell you're confused and helpless, but you're also aware of what's going on. Is this an uncomfortable feeling? Face it!

Your husband divorced his ex-wife to be with you. Now, after two years, he says he wants to give his ex-wife's child a complete family. This is ridiculous. He is being selfish, angry, and aggrieved. Is this really the case?

I understand. Any woman would be hurt by this, including your ex. It's hurtful, but he does care about you.

All problems are resources. We can solve our own problems. Based on your feelings, I have some advice.

First, did you tell your husband what you thought when he suggested this? I think you should express your thoughts without emotions. He seems responsible, but he has hurt you. I suggest you talk to him about your feelings.

Next, we have to learn to love ourselves. We have to adjust our lives. Intimacy is important, but before an intimate relationship, we have to learn to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. When we become someone else's wife, mother, or daughter, we are still ourselves. So adjust your mood, tidy yourself up, do the things you are interested in, enrich yourself, and enhance your inner strength. You can be free from anxiety and panic when encountering anything.

If you can't talk to your husband, talk to your family or find a counselor.

Dear Questioner, This is a tough question about emotions and relationships. It's hard to say if he really loves you because everyone's emotions are different.

He got a divorce for you, which shows he's willing to make big changes for you. This shows how he feels.

A decision after two years to continue living with you and hoping you and his ex-wife can accept this may show his thoughts and emotions have changed.

He may love you, but he also cares about his child. His decision may be based on his feelings for you, his responsibility for the child, and his desire for family integrity.

This doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It may mean he thinks this is the best decision for everyone.

This decision may be painful because it may make you question your relationship. You have the right to express your feelings and ask about his thoughts and motives.

Talking openly helps you understand each other and decide how to handle the situation.

Everyone has different ideas about love and relationships. Think about your expectations and values in the relationship. Are you willing to accept his decision?

No matter what, respect yourself and make the best decision for you.

Hello! I'm Duo Duo.

I can see that you're having a hard time accepting this, and I totally get it. I'll try to answer your question from your perspective.

Assuming you accept, your lover will inevitably interact with his ex-wife because of the child. I don't think you'd want to accept this situation, and I totally get it! If the child is with his ex-wife, and he needs to visit his child from time to time, how many times a week does he need to visit, and how long does he need to spend with his child each time?

In the scenario I have in mind, accepting it would be a loss of words.

It's so sad, but the relationship in a marriage will naturally deteriorate due to the child. This means that the parents will devote a portion of their affection for each other to the child. This is so unfair to you, who will bear the loss in the relationship for no reason. The child that is not yours gets the love of your lover, and the companionship and attention that should be reserved for you is lost to the child of your lover and other woman.

I'm really sorry, but the truth is that you'll get nothing. I know it's hard to hear, but it's the way it is.

"Does he really love you?"

He has made so many sacrifices for you, and now his feelings for you have changed a little because of his child with someone else.

I just wanted to let you know that this is still something to think about. I know you have a lot on your mind right now, but I think it's important to consider all the possibilities.

I think it would be really helpful for you to find out what his ex-wife thinks. Would she be happy for him to visit their child? It might be good for you to know her thoughts on the matter.

After all, her attitude and choices towards your husband will also affect your relationship with your loved one.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about the children. But if this decision will cause you harm or loss in the relationship, then it might be time to have a chat. If you're up for it, you can bring this up and then let him give you a reasonable answer that satisfies you.

He has an ex-wife and children, and you have him. It's only natural to feel anxious about the situation.

I totally get it. It's so hard to know whether he loves you or not when we don't have all the information. I really don't want to make you more anxious by bringing up all kinds of possibilities.

It's so important to get all the information you can before making a decision.

Hello! I'm Strawberry.

It's so easy to get caught up in the thoughts and actions of a self-centered partner! They often only consider their own emotions and feelings, which can make it tricky to know what's best for everyone involved.

I think he's just being a little too selfish.

Two years ago, the OP's partner confirmed that he wanted to be with the OP. He was so in love that he confessed to his wife and chose to divorce as a result. From what I can see, he knows what he is pursuing.

It's been two years now, and the OP's partner told the OP that he's decided to go back and live with his ex-wife to create a happy family atmosphere for the child. He said he won't get back together with his ex-wife, though, and he'll continue to be with the OP.

It would be great if the subject and his ex-wife could accept his ideas and arrangements. It would also be really helpful if his partner could think about what's wrong with his way of thinking and consider the impact and harm his ideas might cause to other people.

It's so interesting how details can reveal a problem!

From what the questioner says, it seems that the questioner's partner is a bit selfish and arrogant. He thinks that everyone should revolve around him and follow his ideas. His overconfidence makes him feel like he's an important part of every relationship.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to pursue the happiness you want, and there's also nothing wrong with not being committed to your marriage. The mistake is that he's only now thinking about being a competent and qualified father, and he's hoping that other people will cooperate with him to make up for the guilt he feels towards his child.

It's so important to remember that if we base our ideas on the suffering of others, even if we have the correct values, we can't accept his so-called good ideas for the children. It's also hard to bear to let others around him suffer to cooperate with him in order to achieve his own goals.

Oh, I wonder if he really loves me?

True love is about supporting and warming each other. It's so important to remember that possessiveness can tie partners down in the name of love, and it can cause a lot of harm.

☀️Be open and honest: When faced with his partner's unexpected approach, the questioner felt deeply hurt and shocked. In trying to satisfy his own thoughts, his partner's actions hurt three people: his ex-wife, his child, and the questioner.

It's so important to remember that children will grow up and see things clearly, no matter how much effort we put in. We might nominally give our child a complete family, but we can't fool ourselves or hide the fact that we're a negligent father.

When faced with his partner's thoughts, the question asker needs to clearly express his own thoughts and not be swayed from his bottom line. He's not trying to prevent his partner from choosing to love the child, but this method is not the best way to go about it. It would be better to let his partner make it clear whether he is in control or to stick to his own ideas than to hurt anyone with the wrong method.

☀️ Negotiation method: The idea of giving the child a complete home was actually planned by the questioner's partner himself. He didn't discuss this with his ex-wife, children, or the questioner, and he didn't respect your opinions.

The questioner is very clear-headed and doesn't accept ideas that don't make sense. When faced with this idea, the questioner seems to understand his position in his partner's heart. When he has an idea, he completely ignores the questioner's feelings. Perhaps it can be understood as his idea not being fully considered at the moment, but it is necessary to point out the impropriety and correct it.

The questioner can analyze his partner. He understands that he wants to make up for it with the child, give the child more love, and try to let the child grow up healthy in body and mind. There are so many ways to love your child! One way is letting the child live alternately in both homes, so that the child can have more contact with both the father and the questioner, which can promote their parent-child relationship. This can also allow the questioner to spend more time with the child, so that the child can receive more love and know that everyone loves them.

☀️It's important to understand the reality of the situation. After the questioner has communicated with his partner, if he still insists on his own way, it's clear that he cares about his own feelings and loves himself more. This is something that a person with this personality will not only do once, but will also behave in this way in their usual interactions.

The questioner is the one who spends time with his partner, and over the years together, he has come to know his partner better. If he could realize that there is something wrong with the idea he proposed, the questioner's current dilemma would not have arisen. It can be tough for anyone to change someone who is not willing to change themselves.

When he proposed this idea, it can be said that he wanted to act more than change himself. This is just how it is sometimes. If what you have is not true love, then stopping the loss in time may be the best choice for yourself.

I really hope my answer helps the original poster. All the best!

This question is really personal and it's totally okay if you don't have a clear answer right away. We can always look at it from different angles to help you figure it out:

1. The line between selfishness and love: In a relationship, each person has their own needs and desires. Sometimes, a person may make decisions to satisfy their own needs, which may be perceived as selfish by the other person. It's totally normal! We all have different needs and desires, and sometimes we make decisions based on what we need at the time.

It's important to remember that selfishness doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It could just mean that he's having trouble balancing his desires and feelings for you.

2. Responsibility and commitment: He may feel a strong sense of responsibility towards his children and wants to give them a complete family environment. This sense of responsibility may prompt him to consider reconciling with his ex-wife, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with you.

This shows that he didn't just think about how he felt when he made his decision. There were other things that influenced his choice, too.

3. Ways of expressing love: Everyone expresses love differently. Some people may ensure the happiness of their loved ones by making personal sacrifices, which can be seen as a form of love to a certain extent.

However, this approach can hurt other people, especially when it comes to complex emotional relationships. I know it can be tough, but try to remember that everyone is different and we all have our own ways of expressing love.

4. Your feelings: It's totally understandable to feel a bit hurt when you feel like you've been betrayed or deceived. It's natural to feel this way when there's a big gap between what you expected and what actually happened.

It's so important to think about how you're feeling and what you need, and to decide if you can accept his decision.

5. Communication and understanding: It's really important to talk to him openly and honestly. If you can understand what he's thinking and why he's done what he's done, and if you can tell him what you're feeling and what you want, you'll both understand each other better and you'll be able to find a way forward together.

Ultimately, whether you believe he really loves you depends on how you see his actions and what he's thinking. Love is complicated and involves many different emotions and responsibilities.

It's so important to make sure that your feelings are respected and that you're making the best decision for you. If you're feeling confused or distressed, it might be a good idea to talk to a friend, family member, or a professional for some support and advice.