At 26, I don't love him, but he is suitable for marriage. I'm not sure if this is the right choice?

Hello, question asker!

From your title, it's clear you're describing your situation accurately: you liked your lover for seven years and got married, but the person you married isn't you. It's heartbreaking! While feeling for you, I also see that you're trying to suppress your feelings and convince yourself to accept this fact.

Tell me, what happened between the time you thought you might not be able to get married and the time you suddenly wanted to get married, causing such a drastic change in your mind? You also mentioned later that you met a guy with whom you had a particularly good relationship, and you knew you didn't love him, but he was suitable for marriage. You didn't have to spend time getting to know someone again. You felt like you didn't want to work hard to manage this new relationship, and you were in a state of "letting fate take its course."

Given the limited information you've provided, I'll share my views based on what you've told me.

You're only 26! Don't be afraid of loneliness and don't rush into another relationship!

Many girls do this. They leave the first relationship, either out of revenge or fear of loneliness, and then they find another relationship quickly to fill the void. Of course, if you are lucky, you will meet Mr. Right.

However, there are also cases where if we approach a new relationship with anxiety and an unsettled heart, we will feel even more lonely as we go along. Some people will say, "Marriage and love are not the same thing..." They're wrong. We only have one heart, and we should ask it what we really want.

As a marriage mediator, I have seen this happen time and again. Girls are eager to jump into another relationship during the "window of opportunity." In a confused state of mind, it is difficult for people to see their true feelings, and they end up getting involved in another inappropriate relationship.

Think twice before you start a relationship, let alone get married!

From a psychological perspective, you should only start the next relationship when you can "normally" watch intimate actions between good friends or couples without going home and crying on the pillow.

If this happened to your best friend or sister, you would let them vent their grievances and then give them a reasonable and responsible suggestion, right?

Treat yourself the same way.

I am confident that my response has touched and inspired you!

I'm certain you'll succeed!

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

You feel rejected and disliked after learning that the object of your long-time secret love has married. You want to alleviate your painful emotions by getting married.

You have liked this person for seven years. It is time to face the sudden marriage. All your uncomfortable emotional feelings are allowed. Behind your emotions are your unmet expectations and needs. You need to be accepted, needed, cared for, appreciated, and loved. Explore the needs hidden behind your uncomfortable emotional feelings. You will be more accepting and understanding of your current self. Then, you will try to find a better response and a way to satisfy your inner needs.

If you want the opposite sex to give you these things, focus on your own growth first. Then, see if other people of the opposite sex can give you what you need. If you're open to giving them a chance.

You need to formally end the seven-year relationship. It's clear that you've only had good feelings for each other for seven years, but neither of you had the courage to express your true inner feelings. I can sense that there are other concerns and considerations behind your failure to bravely confess your love, apart from your studies. You need to say goodbye to this relationship through self-dialogue or writing him a letter.

I am Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.

Greetings, I am Whale Social Worker Kiss the Wind.

Firstly, I would like to extend a gesture of empathy to the original poster. From their words, it is evident that they are experiencing a sense of unease. They have feelings of fatigue and a lack of romantic attachment. However, it is crucial to recognise that marriage entails a lifelong commitment. A lifetime is a significant span of time, and it is therefore imperative to ensure that one's expectations are not compromised.

From your account, it appears that you were in a relationship with a boyfriend for seven years, after which he married another. It is understandable if you have lost faith in love, but it is important to recognize that belief in the good can lead to positive outcomes, regardless of external circumstances.

It is erroneous to assume that every previous relationship was inherently negative. It is therefore reasonable to posit that there are still more positive experiences to be had in the future.

Now, you are discussing this individual with whom you are acquainted, and you believe he may be a suitable candidate for marriage. However, it appears that you do not currently have a strong emotional attachment to him. In this case, it may be beneficial to attempt to foster a positive relationship with him through open communication. This could potentially lead to a deeper emotional connection, which might then evolve into a romantic interest.

If one is truly enamored with the individual in question, then matrimony is undoubtedly a prudent decision. It is important to note that while courtship is not an arduous process, marriage is a lifelong commitment that should not be entered into lightly. It is imperative to consider all aspects of such a decision carefully.

Best wishes, (Yixinli Whale Social Worker)