At 28, marriage has compromised, work has hit a bottleneck, and you feel lost in life?

To gain insight into the hearts and minds of others and to make sharing a habit, I am speaking to myself.

In light of the author's insights, I would like to present the following three points for consideration:

1. Marriage compromise.

2. The iron rice bowl.

3. The nature of work is arbitrary.

1. Marriage compromise.

In the context of modern marriage, it is challenging to decline requests.

Those who have already formed a family and are committed to maintaining a stable and happy household.

Furthermore, it is interesting to note the number of couples in neighbouring married families who have chosen to pursue a relationship outside of their marriage.

How many couples who are in love ultimately decide to marry their sweethearts?

In the majority of cases, individuals find themselves at a crossroads.

Selecting the optimal candidate for one's personal circumstances.

Marriage is a process that requires effort and attention to detail.

Many people cultivate their feelings over time as a result of marriage, developing fondness for their partner and eventually falling in love.

From the perspective of a woman,

In my view, it is not a lifestyle that can be sustained throughout a woman's entire life.

It is simply a matter of personal choice.

A man is not a woman's primary focus.

Furthermore, this applies to a woman's dreams.

They are all manifestations of love and expressions of love.

The underlying assumption is that a woman should possess a capacity for love and be perceived as a worthy recipient of affection.

The role of a woman in society

It should be varied and unrestrainedly gorgeous.

The aforementioned is charted and sketched by herself.

Despite numerous misgivings,

However, this is only possible in a specific manner.

She has a purpose in this world, and she has experienced life to its fullest.

2. Iron Rice Bowl

I would like to take this opportunity to explain the meaning of the term "iron rice bowl."

The term "iron rice bowl" is used to describe a system of guaranteed income or benefits that is perceived as a form of social security.

Not having to eat in one place for the rest of your life.

A lifetime of access to food in any location.

If we define "iron rice bowl" in the real world in this way,

I believe there is a significant distinction between the concept of an "iron rice bowl" as presented in the original question.

In today's society, gender equality is often perceived as superficial.

However, in the actual workplace

The particular requirements of the role and the appropriate gender balance

It is not uncommon for women to feel the pressure to succeed in the workplace.

Economic independence has evolved into the pursuit of genuine female independence.

This brings us to the third topic of the day.

3. Work proactively.

In a realistic work environment.

This applies to both men and women.

To establish a presence in the workplace.

It is still necessary for them to possess their own survival skills.

To work effectively, one must be willing to contribute to the company's success.

In the business world, only the fittest survive.

For many individuals,

It is important to be resilient and to identify a niche where you can thrive.

They must be able to hold their own and find a place for themselves in the organization.

I am already doing my utmost.

As the questioner stated, there are additional possibilities.

It is certainly an option for any individual to pursue.

It requires considerable courage to move beyond one's current comfort zone.

It is not possible to be assertive at work.

Furthermore, there is a reluctance to accept the current situation.

Is willing to believe in one's ability to achieve a better self.

In conclusion,

This is not the case.

This does not imply that we are constrained by fate.

We must continue to submit our proposals and respond to requests for information on an ongoing basis.

As an alternative,

We continue to operate within the established framework of the past.

Furthermore, there is a tendency to avoid the growth and responsibility that the present offers.

It is my sincere hope that you will become a beautiful woman with a loving heart and bright eyes.

Hello, dear question asker. I can really feel your inner confusion, depression, and powerlessness from your description.

When you reach marriageable age, it can feel like there's no way you'll ever find a better partner for yourself. Your family can't introduce better candidates, and you can only choose to marry a classmate with whom you have an average relationship.

At work, you have complicated relationships with your colleagues, there is no room for promotion, you can only maintain a mediocre life, you feel exhausted both physically and mentally, and you want to quit. We've all been there!

It's totally normal to feel this way, whether it's about marriage or work. It can feel like you don't have any choices and that you have to compromise with reality.

Since you've already made the compromise on marriage, it's time to find a breakthrough in your work and be a little more selfish! Don't you want to live without feeling so suffocated?

☹️ Your life is full of so many "shoulds"!

Take a moment to think back to your past. Do you remember feeling like there were too many people in your heart telling you what to do?

When should you get married? Who should you marry? And what kind of job is best for you?

Maybe you feel like the other person is looking out for your best interests, but you don't believe you can make better choices on your own.

It's totally normal to listen to and believe other people, isn't it? We all do it! And it's probably true that you've always been living your life according to other people's requirements and standards.

It's okay if you feel like you've never really made choices for your life or had a sense of control over it. We've all been there!

I know it can feel really overwhelming when you feel like you have no choice, no strength, no hope, and that you are losing vitality.

You can absolutely call the shots in your own life!

You can absolutely try to regain control of your life and break free from the shackles of "shoulds."

But please, don't worry! Start with small things and make changes little by little. Otherwise, it is easy to take your life from one extreme to the other.

For work and marriage, you can try making some changes from the details.

For example, you can adjust the pace of work and life as appropriate. If there's no breakthrough at work for the time being, you could try temporarily letting go of your focus on work.

Once you've finished work, why not set aside some time for the things you love? You could learn a new skill or hobby, like baking, sports, or travel.

It's so important to make time for things you really want to do. If there's something you've always wanted to do but never had the time for, now is the perfect time to try it! And if there's something you don't want to do, don't worry about it for now. You've got this!

When you learn to love yourself and make choices for your own life, you will slowly start to feel stronger and more in control. Your life will become more vibrant and full of joy!

Warmest regards!

Hello, host!

I totally get where the landlord is coming from. Marriage and work just aren't ideal for him right now, and it's only natural that he'd feel a bit out of sorts.

So when reality differs from ideals, does the host think it is appropriate to complain about reality? Absolutely not!

Or is it better to change one's inner self and behavior to change reality and get closer to the ideal? Absolutely!

The reality of dissatisfaction makes the host feel confused and painful, but it is also a kind of alarm bell, which means there's an opportunity for positive change!

This is a great chance for self-reflection, self-improvement, and change!

People who are generally enjoying a comfortable life will not easily change their current state of comfort, and they're perfectly happy to keep enjoying it!

It's only people who feel pain who are ready to try every means to change the present, improve themselves, and change themselves!

So, what can we change?

If you can't change your spouse, change yourself!

When choosing a spouse, most people think that if you are in love, you will eventually get married and live happily ever after. And who doesn't want that?

The truth is, it's not a given. Even if two people who love each other get married, if they don't manage their relationship well, they'll still have various conflicts and disputes.

But here's the great thing about marriage: even if you break up, you'll still have a friend you can rely on. And the right person is easier to manage in marriage.

The original poster also said that if the family is going to find a matchmaking partner for you, it's a great idea to find someone you at least know yourself, even if you don't really like them.

So, is there someone you like better? Even if there is, is she willing to enter into marriage with you?

Generally speaking, most people tend to take things for granted that are easy to come by. In fact, being able to realize that forming a family is also a great fate!

And it's also a kind of responsibility. Marriage is not a game, not like playing house when you were a child, where you can choose who to spend time with and who not to.

So marriage is made up of two people, and it's a wonderful thing when both of you work hard, care for each other, discover each other's bright spots, help and rely on each other!

Absolutely! Marriage is a collaborative relationship. If you cooperate happily, you will be happy; if you don't cooperate happily, you will be miserable.

2. Find the meaning of work and infuse it with new enthusiasm!

The great news is that most of us work basically to support ourselves and our families!

If you do your job well, you can absolutely improve your living conditions!

However, most people are ready for more out of their current jobs and are excited to see what they can do to earn more wealth!

Of course everyone has the desire for wealth! It just varies in degree. If you work just for the money,

You will feel tired when you don't get a reward that is proportional to the labor you put in. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways to make sure you get the recognition you deserve.

If you see that your efforts have benefited others and you have helped them, and you feel joy,

You will feel that your efforts are worthwhile, regardless of the rewards!

The great news is that you can't change the outside world. The even better news is that you can only change your own state of mind!

The outside world is actually a reflection of our inner world. So, if you feel dissatisfied with your marriage or work,

These are your own thoughts. And guess what? If you don't say anything, no one will know how your work is going or how your marriage is going. So, go ahead and share your thoughts!

Even if others say it's not good, if you yourself feel very satisfied, that's fantastic!

Maybe other people envy you for having a job and a marriage! They may be unemployed and don't even have a partner, but they may not necessarily envy you.

So, all of this is your own perception, and what you think is what it is!

If you really don't like this state of affairs, go ahead and change yourself actively! Don't waste your time complaining about the status quo and resenting others.

And finally, I wish you the happiest of lives!

I am so excited to be here in this warm June, and I love you all!

Hello! I totally get where you're coming from. From what you've said, it seems like you don't value what's easy to get.

First of all, choosing a spouse from school is easy and, secondly, not being satisfied with your work is also easy. In fact, whether you choose a spouse from school or get a social worker's license to enter the community, in the eyes of most people, it is actually not that easy.

I'm curious, what makes you think easy options aren't good choices? It's something you might want to think about. It could be related to your previous experiences, or maybe all your previous successes have been overlooked, so you've developed this way of thinking.

Second, you married your classmate! You have a word called "suitable." You yourself said that it is not easy to get into the community. In other words, the success of these two things is the result of your careful consideration.

You've worked so hard to get here, and I know it can feel like it's not worth it sometimes. It's natural to feel this way, but I want you to remember who you are and all the hard work you've put in.

And finally, when it comes to marriage, no matter who you marry, you have to work hard to be happy. The same goes for the workplace!

So, do you have the goal of a happy marriage or career success now? If it's the former, you're on your own, but if it's the latter, it might be a good idea to find a career planner to help you make a plan, which could really help!

I wish you all the best! And to those of you who are already off to a great start, keep up the amazing work!

Hi, I'm Du Xi.

I hope I can help you. It seems like you're feeling pretty dissatisfied and helpless about your surroundings right now, and you want to change but you're not sure which way to go. It seems like life has nothing to make you happy, and you can't see any hope.

There's no such thing as a right or wrong choice in life, but you've got to make the best choice for you at that moment.

Even though your partner isn't exactly your idea of a perfect match, have you ever wondered why you chose him in the first place? There must have been something about him that made you think, "This is the one."

If there were a better option, you wouldn't have chosen this one. So, you've made the best choice for yourself, right?

So, in the future, do you want to wait for someone to make you happy, or is it easier to create your own happiness? It depends on your attitude and your goals in dealing with your partner.

You also worked hard to get into your career. We all have to deal with people at work, and it's something you have to learn to do. You may not be able to find a group of people you work well with.

If you can't change the environment, adapt to it. If the job isn't what you want to do, think about whether it's you or your colleagues who make you dislike it.

This is a crucial question because you need to tackle the issue head-on, not avoid it.

If you're serious about changing jobs, there are a few things you need to think about.

1. What's the value and meaning of work for you? Different meanings give you different strengths.

It's about supporting your family financially, pursuing your dream, advancing your career, and making time for your hobby.

2. What kind of work are you looking to do?

3. What changes can you make to yourself to improve your chances of achieving this goal?

4. If you land this job, how will your life change?

5. What challenges do you think you'll face along the way? How do you plan to tackle them?

Once you've thought about all this, I'm sure you'll be able to find a job that suits you and that you love. As for marriage, it needs to be nurtured by both parties. Happiness depends on what you make of it. Don't let your imagination control your life.

Hello!

Let's talk about the challenges we're facing and work together to find solutions.

"We didn't particularly like each other, but we felt that everything was appropriate." It seems like you made a choice after weighing the pros and cons, but "I always feel like I'm compromising with reality." It can also be seen that you are anxious and feel helpless. It seems as if you are being pushed along by life and have to make a choice.

And now, you've made a choice that you think is neither good nor bad. That's how it looks from your point of view.

Let's look at it from the wife's point of view.

Yesterday I heard a lecture where it was mentioned that marriage is the best university for men. In general, women won't stay with someone they don't like. Now that you're married, she's your spouse, which means she'll face life's difficulties with you.

If you don't like her very much right now, do you think that'll change? Relationships can be nurtured and become better over time, or they can get worse if they're not handled properly.

You were classmates, so you probably have a lot to talk about. Getting married means taking on more responsibilities and becoming more mature than before.

Are you ready for this? What kind of support and companionship do you hope to get from your wife?

Marriage also means a change of roles, and you'll be facing more and more things in the future.

In terms of work, the questioner has a secure job that allows them to maintain a normal life. However, they feel that they've already made relationships-when-dealing-with-conflicts-8519.html" target="_blank">compromises in their marriage and that they should be a little more selfish at work!

What do you think it means to be willful? Is it quitting your job and starting over to do the work you love?

So, what should you do? You have to ask yourself, is this goal difficult?

Do you want to succeed more or are you more afraid of failure?

I hope you can find a little time to slow down and appreciate the little blessings in life, even when you're busy.