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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Good question.
I'm Kelly Shui.
Where are the boundaries of relationships with the opposite sex before and after marriage?
There is no standard answer.
1: What do you think of men who get close to the opposite sex before or after marriage?
How should we think about this?
Why would a woman like a man who socializes with the opposite sex before marriage?
And marry him?
From a psychological point of view, we can only focus on one thing at a time. For example, we can listen to music while eating, but we cannot sing while eating.
The husband of a close female friend is good at making friends with people of the opposite sex. He has a comparative advantage in this area. He is just doing what he is "skilled" at.
Maybe he has a closer relationship with his mother, which makes him more understanding of women.
A man who is getting ready to marry may still love your best friend. He may have been close to other women before marriage. Perhaps he knows that he marries the person he loves and befriends the person he likes.
2: Family Management
After marriage, the interaction between husband and wife is the core.
If the husband can't get away from his mother-in-law, and they're close, and she still supports her mother-in-law, she'll get her son's support.
A best friend can help her husband feel secure, which lets her keep a good relationship with his mother-in-law.
A best friend could try to understand him, support him, and show empathy for his feelings towards his mother-in-law. If he has a poor relationship with his wife, they will continue to argue.
If this continues, will their relationship improve or get worse?
How can she get her husband to be closer to her?
If we trust ourselves, we will appreciate our husbands.
We can also assume:
What if the husband is a gynecologist?
What if the husband is a teacher?
What if the husband needs to work with women?
3: Know yourself.
In a marriage, we need to be aware of ourselves and let out our strong emotions.
Be aware of not mixing past events or emotions from your family of origin with the other person.
Respecting yourself and others means setting boundaries and being independent. Blaming the other person or making guesses won't help the relationship.
Couples must communicate honestly or the gap will grow.
We need to know which emotions are our own, which are influenced by the other person, and which we don't see.
If we don't deal with our emotions, will it be good for the relationship?
4: Grow yourself.
We can learn about ourselves by studying psychology, talking to our best friend, or finding a counselor. We explore ourselves and grow in our own way, which gives us a sense of security and a better understanding of ourselves. Our own sense of security may make the relationship easier.
5: Get to know each other.
A new family must learn new ways of dealing with marriage.
Every family has rules for relationships.
We change and grow throughout our lives. As we meet new people and keep our hobbies, we bring new ideas into our families. This helps couples communicate and improve their relationships.
A best friend loves her husband, so she is "narrow-minded," right? It also shows that she cares about the relationship. If we care too much, we lose ourselves.
You can give up part of yourself in marriage.
Girlfriends can talk about the future with their husbands, talk about their feelings, see their own needs, and respect each other. Every family is different, but one thing is for sure:
The nuclear family must be separate from the original family.
If you're too close to your original family, it will hurt your new family.
You can talk about this.
You can also recommend the book From Birth to Independence to your best friend.
The questioner should also know their own feelings and not let their best friend's feelings affect them.
Girlfriends are lucky to have such a caring girlfriend.
Friendship is the same. We can learn and set boundaries to make the relationship more comfortable.
"Growing in relationships" – we will be careful to avoid letting our past affect our marriage.
Couples should communicate and negotiate to solve problems. With effort, they can create a beautiful life.
I love you, world.
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Comments
It's tough to see a friend hurting over something like this. It sounds like communication is really at the heart of this issue, and maybe they need to talk about personal boundaries and comfort levels with oppositesex friendships.
Every relationship has its own dynamics, but it seems your friend feels threatened by her husband's openness with other women. Perhaps she needs to express how this makes her feel and what changes she'd like to see.
This situation seems complex because it involves not just the couple but also the motherinlaw. It might help if your friend could address these concerns directly with her husband in a calm and honest conversation.
It's important for your friend to consider whether her feelings are stemming from insecurity or if there's a legitimate boundary issue. Sometimes we can't help feeling jealous, but addressing it openly can lead to understanding and growth.
Your friend's experience sounds very challenging. Maybe she could suggest counseling as a way to explore these issues more deeply and learn strategies for improving their relationship.