Can one still be forgiven for not being truthful during interactions and hiding the past?

Hello, Phil. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry you had this experience.

Everyone has a past.

This is especially true if it involves one's own emotions and pain.

Some people can accept others' pasts, while others can't.

The past is the past.

Whether it is hurt or mistakes.

Learn from mistakes.

And

and whether to talk about our past emotions.

It's a kind of trust in your current partner.

It's also our freedom.

Some people have an emotional cleanliness complex.

They are secretive about it.

They want their first love to be clean.

If the other person is like this, tell them.

The more we like someone, the more they may care about their past.

They'll start to hesitate about telling.

They'll start to doubt if they should tell.

This has led to a lot of misunderstandings.

You explained everything to the other person.

He also explained his concerns and the situation.

The other person's attitude was extreme and their words and actions hurt you.

It can be a personal attack and lead to a breakup and being blocked.

If you can talk and make changes,

Phil says you can make amends.

But you must also learn to protect yourself. There is a limit to everything.

Our past doesn't give others a reason to attack and abuse us.

When it's time to stand up for yourself, do it.

Don't let others hurt us.

I hope this helps.

I love you!

Hello.

First, relationships are between two people. You should decide together if you want to save it. Ask yourself: "Do you want to save it?", "If so, what can you do?", and "If not, how can you let go?"

1. Do you want to keep it?

What do you want from a relationship during your student years? Everyone has different ideas. Think about your answer and what you want your relationship to be like. Think clearly and based on what you know about him, can he make you happy? Think about this question carefully. If you are waiting at a bus stop, it is pointless to compare the buses to decide which one to get on. First, decide where you want to go. Then, choose the best bus for the price.

2. "If you want to keep someone,

If you're both still students, you should be able to explore the world and yourself. It's easy to believe in "absolute truths" when you're young, but they often can't stand up to scrutiny. If your partner wants to date someone new, are they planning to get married? If they break up with you, they won't be "a clean slate." If they meet someone else, won't they feel "dirty"? We can't easily change others' perceptions, but you shouldn't belittle yourself. Talk to your partner about what you can gain and lose if you break up.

3. "Don't want to hold on."

If you end it, try to say goodbye nicely. Every experience teaches us something. It helps us see ourselves clearly, face things, cherish what we have learned, and let go of what wasn't meant to be.

No matter how perfect the other person is, it's not worth belittling yourself to get them. Love yourself, and you'll find someone who loves you for who you are.

Blessings!

It's so hard when we don't feel able to share our past with the people we love. I'm really sorry you went through that. It's so sad when our partners can't accept our past, even if we've tried to be open with them. It's so hard when we feel like we've let them down. I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.

I noticed you kept talking about how he was this and that, as if you felt that "it's all my fault" and "I'm at fault," and that you caused the other person's negative emotions and harsh words and actions. I'm here to help, so please don't feel like you have to do this alone.

I think it's important to look at this situation in two parts.

It seems like he was really hoping that the other person was also his first love, and you were holding back on that.

I'm really sorry to hear that he reacted so strongly to your confession, even resorting to verbal abuse.

Let's start with the first question.

You chose to hide it even though you knew that the other person cared about the woman's dating history, which must have made you feel really guilty.

I totally get it. It was also because of this sense of guilt that you chose to confess later.

I know you didn't confess at first, but I believe your subsequent confession was a reflection of your sincerity.

It's totally understandable that he can't accept your past love experiences. It's a difficult thing for anyone to come to terms with, and it's something he's struggling with.

Take a moment to think about why you chose to hide it in the first place.

It's totally normal to feel a bit insecure about your romantic experiences, and it's okay if you feel a little impure sometimes.

I'd love to understand why you think this way. It would help me to know if you feel you're accepting enough of your own past experiences.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this second question.

It's so sad when people don't appreciate the effort you put in to be honest with them. It's like they don't even see it!

Oh, my! Those are some pretty strong words to use to describe someone you're supposed to love! "Disgusting," "dirty," "liar," these are the words used to describe his girlfriend.

It's so sad to see him so depressed. I can understand why you'd want to save the relationship.

Let's think about this together: what is the foundation of a relationship?

It's so important to accept each other, appreciate each other, support each other, and treat each other as equals.

Summary: I just wanted to quickly go over a few things with you. I think it's really important to understand that a relationship is built on mutual acceptance, appreciation, support, equality, and not just trying to please each other. I know you're feeling a bit down right now, but I just wanted to remind you that you're a wonderful person and you deserve to be loved and appreciated.

It's okay, sweetheart. The bottom line is that you are still unable to fully accept yourself.

So, when your boyfriend questions you, accuses you, or insults you, if you don't have a good, solid sense of yourself, you might find yourself agreeing with him and feeling like you're not as good as you should be.

So, my advice is to try to remember that no matter how sad, upset, or angry he is, these are all emotions that he is having to deal with because he can't accept reality. They have nothing to do with you, so try not to take them personally.

It's so important to focus on yourself! Ask yourself these questions:

- What kind of girl am I?

It can be really helpful to think about what our strengths are.

- What do my friends value in me?

- And what do I want to be like?

- And what else can I work on?

How can I achieve that ideal image?

I really hope this is helpful for you!

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

When you first started dating your boyfriend, he said he wanted to find a partner with no previous relationships. The relationship was still new and exciting! So, why did the questioner hide it from her boyfriend at that time? Did she feel that it was hard to find the right person for her, or did she feel that having a boyfriend could satisfy some of her inner vanity?

The boyfriend wants to find a partner with no romantic history. This can be related to the concept he was instilled with during his growth process, or it can be that he himself feels that it is fairer for neither of you to have been in a relationship before. In his expression, it can be said that he is very assertive about his own feelings, which is great because it shows he's confident in himself and his feelings!

The questioner has had two relationships before this one, and when her boyfriend asked about it, she gave vague answers. The boyfriend didn't doubt your answers too much, which shows that he trusts you a lot and has some hope for this relationship. The longer you get along, the better the relationship becomes. So the questioner felt uncomfortable hiding it in her heart and chose to confess to her boyfriend.

The questioner is very courageous. You want to take a chance on your relationship. You think your boyfriend loves you more than he loves his past, so you confessed. But his reaction exceeded your expectations. Not only did he attack you personally, but he also used disgusting and dirty words to express his opinion of your past. After reading this, I really want to hug you. You must have felt very aggrieved and helpless at that time. But you did the right thing!

You never know what the future holds in a relationship! What's important is enjoying the present moment. Your boyfriend is set on his partner having no romantic history, which is a bit stubborn. If he doesn't change his mind and accept it, there's no way anyone can change him.

Absolutely! There's still hope for this relationship.

1. Even if you get back together, it won't be like the old days.

It's clear that the questioner still has strong feelings for her boyfriend, and it's understandable that she wants to know if there's still a chance to salvage their relationship. It's also evident that her boyfriend is set in his ways when it comes to expectations of a partner, and this perception won't change overnight. While getting back together might seem like a good idea in the short term, it could end up being a source of frustration and prevent them from moving forward.

This is a great opportunity for you both to learn and grow! Instead of torturing each other, you can let go of each other and give yourself time to slowly let go of this relationship. It is normal for you to feel sad, but you can turn this into a positive experience by accepting that it is no longer possible for the two of you. With time, your sadness will fade away!

2. Admit your own limitations and embrace them!

When the questioner chose to confess to her boyfriend, it shows that she cherishes this relationship very much. She also believes that her love for him will help him let go of some of his obsessions about his partner's expectations. Her boyfriend's reaction is proof that he fell in love with her first on the condition that she had never been in a relationship, and then chose to be with her.

The OP is still learning and growing in his ability to change his way of thinking. It's also fair to say that he's not yet ready to change his own requirements for his partner for the OP's sake. Having a history of relationships is not a big deal. From the boyfriend's reaction, it seems like the OP has done something to hurt him while you were together. He also used a personal attack to bitterly accuse the OP of being wrong, which made the OP doubt herself and feel as if it is a sin to have been in a relationship before.

You know what you need to do? Stay away from people who influence your perception! It's so easy to feel negative emotions when you're unable to change the other person.

3. Hiding is not necessarily harmful, and confessing is not necessarily love — but it can be!

As the relationship deepens, the questioner makes the bold choice to confess to her boyfriend about her initial decision to hide it from him. In a relationship, there's a certain truth that the two people hide. Being too honest can sometimes be a kind of harm, so "confessing" according to the actual situation is also a kind of love.

Guilty for hiding, the questioner wanted to confess that at the time, he actually wanted to stop suffering from the torture of guilt, but you underestimated how much your boyfriend cared about this matter. Since it has already happened and he has made his attitude clear, just accept the result and let each other go to fulfill each other's pursuit of what they want!

I really hope my answer helps the original poster! Wishing you the best!

The questioner offers the following description:

When we first started dating, he made it clear that he wanted to find someone who had never been with anyone before. I didn't want to give him the wrong impression, so I answered his question very vaguely.

I have been in two relationships before him. The first was a junior high school crush that didn't lead to anything; the second was a very short relationship in college, which did lead to sex once.

After we started dating, our relationship continued to improve. I felt it was important to be open and honest with him about my past, so I decided to take the initiative and tell him everything. I didn't reveal everything at once, and I only did so after he asked me questions.

His reaction was rather intense, and he made some personal attacks. I was so taken aback that I didn't tell him I had had sex until later.

The questioner is uncertain about the future of the relationship.

Could this relationship be salvaged?

I would like to offer some words of advice to the questioner.

Everyone has a past, and whether or not you have been in a relationship before should not necessarily be a factor in dating. It's possible that the other person may also have a virgin complex, and this is something that he may need to address on his own. It's important to remember that it has nothing to do with you.

It seems that you may be hiding something from your partner. This could be perceived as disrespectful and deceptive, or even as a love strategy. It could also indicate that you are not yet ready to accept your own emotional experiences, which might make you feel a little guilty. Past experiences are essential for our growth. We can learn from them and they help us face life more confidently. If we dwell on past hurts, it might make it more difficult for us to face the future.