Can only those who provide value be loved?

Hello, I hope my answer helps.

The question is simple but the issue is complex. You want to be loved and accepted unconditionally. But you worry that if you don't provide value, the other person won't love and accept you.

Here are some thoughts for you:

Love and acceptance are good, but to have a long-lasting relationship, you need to meet each other's needs.

If our relationships are happy, it's because we meet each other's needs.

So, relationships need to be managed. Only when two people in a relationship can meet each other's needs can the relationship continue to develop.

For example, we are initially attracted to each other because of our feelings. Love is pure, but the time when we can fully accept each other's shortcomings is only in the first stage of love. As the relationship develops, it will enter a period of adjustment full of contradictions. At this time, we will see more of each other's shortcomings. Therefore, marriage is about learning to get along with each other's shortcomings.

Accepting each other's shortcomings is a way to show someone you care.

Psychologist Adler says we need to learn to cooperate with others to realize our own value. We need to cooperate with our partners in marriage and family. Adler believes that in marriage, the two people are equal partners. Each must care about the other more than themselves to achieve cooperation. This is the foundation for love and marriage.

If we can do this, we'll feel valuable and irreplaceable. Your partner needs you. You're doing a great job. You're a good partner and a true friend. But remember, cooperation means both people are equal.

We value each other and accept and support each other. This is a harmonious relationship.

2. If you want love and acceptance from others, you need to learn to love and accept yourself.

If we lack something, we will seek it outside. This shows that we don't accept and love ourselves enough.

We need to focus on ourselves. When you love and accept yourself, you don't need to seek outside validation. It's good to have love and acceptance, but it's not essential.

Psychology says we should focus on ourselves because if we don't meet our own needs, it's hard to feel loved by others. When I started to love myself, I had some amazing experiences.

When I didn't love and accept myself, I hoped others would accept and like me. But I felt they didn't. When I started loving and accepting myself, I found I no longer craved others' approval. I felt more accepted by others.

Practice loving and accepting yourself. Read "Rebuilding Your Life," "Accepting an Imperfect Self," "Meeting an Unknown Self," and "Rebuilding Your Heart." Read my article on accepting yourself too. These will help you learn to love and accept yourself. Practice, and it will work.

For your reference. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're a little confused, upset, and unwilling. Is that right?

You also have a good sense of awareness, face problems head-on, and actively seek solutions. This is great!

What happened to make you feel this way?

All problems are opportunities in disguise. When you're feeling confused and come here to find answers to your questions, you're already on the path to change.

You said that if you don't bring value to others, you won't be loved. I think that's true in real life, and there is indeed an answer, which is not absolute. It could just mean that you haven't met the right person yet.

It seems like you're confused about why you don't feel loved by others. From what you've told me, it seems like you have some self-doubt and lack confidence. Is that right?

I had a thought: how we're treated by others is down to us. In other words, the knife that hurts us is the one we hand to others, allowing them to hurt us if they want to. I wonder how you feel about that quote.

Love and being loved are actually needs in our lives. I believe that values are a point of mutual attraction. The problem you describe may also be for the sake of profit. He sees that you have some kind of benefit that he needs and goes to contact you. This is also a realistic problem, but we have to analyze the specific situation based on your specific situation.

I don't know all the details of your situation, but based on what you've told me, I have a few suggestions that I hope will help you adjust your mindset.

First, learn to love yourself.

No matter what has happened, when you are confused, you may have given more to others than they have given to you. So when you have given and not received results, you will feel a sense of loss. At this time, I suggest you stop giving to others, pay more attention to yourself, and love yourself more. We can only love others if we love ourselves. As the saying goes, others' attitude towards us depends entirely on ourselves, so learn to love yourself!

Second, look for positive experiences.

Life is full of ups and downs. When we feel down, it's important to stop and take a moment to think about what we can do to feel better. By doing this, we can make sure our hearts are happy and strong, and they'll help us face problems with confidence.

Then, be more aware of yourself.

Some feelings are not without reason. They may be things you've experienced before, or they may be uncomfortable feelings brought about by our family environment that we've forgotten in our subconscious. When we encounter the same situation again, we'll feel uncomfortable again. This is also a kind of defense mechanism, a reminder that we need to solve the problem. When this happens, what we need to do is to constantly become aware of ourselves.

It's important to understand why we feel this way and what's behind it. Only by being aware of ourselves can we figure out what we want. Then, we can reconcile with ourselves and learn to grow.

Next, we need to keep on improving ourselves.

As I mentioned, in reality, most people are guided by interests. They look at what kind of interests and benefits we can bring to them, and then they'll choose us. At this time, we can only constantly improve ourselves to give ourselves the right to make decisions, so that we can become confident and brave enough to find our true needs.

You can start with something you're interested in and just dive in. You'll gain a sense of accomplishment through continuous learning and accumulation.

Finally, consider talking to a professional counselor.

The issue you're facing is pretty straightforward, but I think there are a lot of emotions inside you that you haven't addressed yet. If you can release your negative emotions in time, that's great. When you can't mediate and transform them on your own, you can seek help from a professional counselor. They'll use professional techniques to dig deep into the roots of our subconscious and create a safe and inclusive environment for us, so that we can grow with strength in this environment.

Ultimately, I want to say that nothing is set in stone and nothing is perfect. We'll always face some confusion along the way. When we recognize it and keep looking for a solution, we're already on the path to change. As long as you don't give up, you'll find your own way to solve it and get some unexpected surprises.

Hello, question asker!

From the brief description of the question, it is clear that it involves both a philosophical overview of the complex concept of "value" and the practical problem of "love."

I will try to help you analyze and make suggestions as follows:

Value is mutual.

Value belongs to the category of relationships in philosophy. It refers to a beneficial relationship in which an object can satisfy the needs of a subject.

In this sense, value belongs to both parties.

The assumption in the question, "You can only be loved if you provide value," is simply not true. If you provide exactly what the other person needs, it should be easier to love each other.

The questioner is correct in assuming that if one cannot provide value to another, the latter will not love and accept the former.

[Value needs to be felt].

Emotional value cannot be measured or calculated. It needs to be felt.

For example, the value of beauty and the value of giving and paying. These values can only be perceived and recognized through sensory experience or perception.

The questioner must face up to the differences in values and cognitive abilities and levels, feelings and emotions, and emotional values of each individual.

You can't understand the existence or absence of value in a black-and-white manner. You have to analyze each situation individually.

Love must be received.

Love is about being accepted, not about giving.

If you are unable to provide value to the other person and have not been accepted, there is no way to talk about love.

It has nothing to do with how much you give.

The questioner must get to know themselves and the other person well, distinguish between their own strengths and the other person's needs, and base their sincere efforts on the other person's real needs.

I am confident that the above will be of some help to you.

Best wishes!

Hello, host! I'm July.

You said the problem is that you can only be loved by providing value. I don't think that's true. Not everyone needs emotional value. Some people can provide it to themselves or get it from friends. So the answer is not always yes.

Many people need emotional value, especially girls.

You don't have to be valuable to be loved. This is especially true in some situations, like the love parents have for their children. You have to look at each situation individually.

You're describing a boyfriend relationship. You may feel you can only be loved if you provide value.

But I think this is wrong. You should be loved even if you don't provide value.

Two people get together to complement each other and live their lives together.

You may be seeking approval from others. You may lack a sense of security and self-confidence. You may value responses and feedback from others to gain a sense of security.

If you want to be loved, you have to love yourself first. Then you can love others better. Love yourself more! You deserve to be loved. Love is mutual. Both people have to give and work hard.

I love you, world.

Best wishes!

Good day, To the original poster:

I appreciate you posing this question, which has prompted much reflection on the underlying issue. It is, indeed, a complex psychological matter.

In general, only in blood relationships, specifically the mother-child bond, does the mother's love for the child and the parents' love for their children

The value of the other person may not be considered, as this kind of love is based on care, protection, nourishment, and companionship.

In adult romantic relationships, many young people in the midst of a passionate relationship may find it difficult to extricate themselves from the situation and lose themselves, precisely because they regress to a more infantile state.

Infants tend to crave a high level of care, attention, and nurturing. When this dynamic shifts, it can lead to emotional distress. It is plausible that this kind of love connection

Once interrupted, it activates separation anxiety and the frustration of feeling abandoned.

Therefore, the aforementioned form of love is a one-way street, which is largely unbalanced and unequal, and does not entail a reciprocal exchange of value.

It is essential to address the dynamics of adult society, interpersonal relationships with relatively mature personalities, and romantic relationships. The objective is to maintain the continued stability of the relationship.

In the context of development, it is typical for reciprocal exchanges to be based on the principle of equivalent value for money.

Otherwise, a relationship based solely on one party's output and dedication will not be sustainable over time.

It is evident that in a relationship, if one partner is consistently providing resources and support, both financial and emotional,

Inevitably, this kind of unequal relationship will reach a point of breakdown. When this occurs, one party will voice their frustration.

For so many years, I have provided significant input, but what have you contributed in return?

It should be noted that exceptions do exist.

Some individuals with a pleasing personality consistently demonstrate a willingness to make sacrifices and give without expecting anything in return.

The subconscious mind maintains a stable and secure relationship by pleasing others and avoiding the fear of being abandoned by the other person.

Even in the parent-child relationship, if parents raise their children according to their own expectations and requirements,

The hope of seeing their children succeed will be dashed, and they will undoubtedly become frustrated and reprimand their children.

After investing so much time and effort into supporting you, I am disappointed to see this lack of reciprocity.

The anger of parents demonstrates that parental love for their children is contingent upon certain conditions. One such condition is that the love and devotion previously mentioned must be reciprocated.

This can be replaced with "value."

In Chinese culture, reciprocity is a core value, and this extends to the principles of equivalent exchange in economics.

In light of this, the questioner's question serves as a reminder to us all.

In a relationship, it is advisable to set realistic expectations and to avoid excessive ambition.

In return for the love and care that we receive from others,

It is important to maintain a grateful attitude and consider ways to reciprocate the other party's actions.

To return to the original question:

If you fail to demonstrate value to the other party on one or two occasions, it is possible that they will cease to value you in return.

If this situation persists and you are merely a passive recipient of care from the other person, it may ultimately have a detrimental impact on the relationship.

Mutual pleasure is a key factor in developing long-lasting relationships.

As your consultant, Mr. Yao, I will continue to support and care for you.

I am Consultant Yao, and I will continue to provide you with the support and care you require.

Upon reflection, I tried to imagine the state of mind of the person who asked this question. It seems to be a mixture of confusion, longing, and reluctance. Perhaps there is also the question: "If I can be loved and accepted without providing value, does that mean that it is only true and pure love that loves me for who I am?"

The concept of value is broad and complex. In one-sided love, such as unrequited love, it may appear that the person being loved is not providing emotional value. However, this is not necessarily the case. The image, voice, mannerisms, and speech of the person being loved can give the person loving them a sense of pleasure, which is also a kind of value. However, this kind of value is not as substantial and can easily be overturned. For example, if someone secretly loves someone who projects an image of a gentleman, but one day suddenly discovers that he is rude and picks his nose, this love may instantly disappear.

Deeper love often arises from the interaction between two people. It can be nurtured by watching over each other with care, caring for each other with tenderness, and respecting each other with sincerity. These values can make love deeper, and they are all values that one party can provide for the other. Over time, these values can become increasingly profound, making it challenging to let go. Such values are often given to each other. In this kind of interaction, the one giving also gains value and may feel satisfied by the joy of the other party. They may also feel self-affirmation because of the other party's reliance.

In such a relationship, there is a virtuous cycle: the more interaction, the closer the relationship becomes.

If we, as the giver, do not feel pleasure and satisfaction, but instead feel aggrieved and unfair, or if we are the receiver and feel satisfied when the other person gives, but are reluctant to reciprocate when they need it, it may indicate an imbalance in the relationship or a lack of love on our part.

Indeed, psychology often discusses a principle when describing interpersonal relationships, known as the "principle of interpersonal reciprocity." This principle applies to all relationships, including intimate ones. Since it is based on "reciprocity," it is a mutual concept. Perhaps this could also offer the questioner a new perspective: to consider things from another's point of view. If the other person does not intend to provide value to you, but also expects you to accept and love them, how would you feel in that situation?

Hello question asker.

You met by fate.

Do you think people won't love you if you can't provide value to them?

I thought about it a lot. At first, I thought about it positively.

If I think the other person loves me because I can provide value, I'll be sad. I'll think he doesn't really love me.

If I fall in love with him, does he provide value for me? Did I see his value first?

This is also possible. I understand a little.

Everyone has value. First-glance attraction is why we are attracted to him and why he is attracted to me.

You can tell if it's true love after a while. (Except for people who are good at acting.)

Time reveals a person's true heart.

Can I only be loved if I provide value? If you feel uncomfortable when you're together, you need to ask.

If you just met, take another look.

I like being valuable. I want to be valuable.

If I'm not valuable to him, I feel uncomfortable. I want to help others, which is why I like counseling.

I hope these thoughts help you.

I love you, world.

Good day.

With regard to the question you raised, it would be helpful to understand whether, if I am unable to provide value to the other person, they will still love and accept me.

There are a few different ways this could play out. It's possible that you may not be able to provide the value that the other person is looking for.

1. You may find it challenging to provide the other person with the value they believe they need.

2. Perhaps you feel that you are unable to provide the other person with the value they need.

Do you feel that you have something to offer but lack the value to do so, or do you have the value that the other person needs but find it hard to give?

If you feel that you are not valuable to the other person, it might be helpful to consider whether this is a fair assessment. It's important to differentiate between your own sense of value and how others perceive you.

It might be helpful to think of loving someone as a kind of asking for something. The object of this asking can be material or emotional value. Material value is visible and measurable, but emotional value is more difficult to measure accurately because it is more difficult to perceive and is conscious. In life, there are often good feelings towards someone for no reason, and the desire to express love or like comes from the side expressing love. The person being loved often cannot know in advance, and it is not always possible to be sure that the other person loves you before they explicitly say so.

If you feel you possess the qualities your partner desires, but are concerned about your ability to provide them, there is no need to worry. As long as you love your partner, they will naturally perceive your value.

If you find yourself in a situation where you have someone you want to confess your love to, but you are worried that you are not worthy of being loved and accepted, it might be helpful to remember that being loved and accepted is not something that happens instantly. It is not a multiple-choice question, but rather a matter of getting along with the person.

Love and acceptance are long-term issues that can only be experienced over a long period of time. It is important to remember that "rejection itself" is not the result or the answer. Instead, the answer lies in courageously getting to know and communicating with the other person.

Ultimately, it is important to recognize your self-worth and value yourself as you are.

Hello, question asker! You ask a great question: "Can you only be loved if you provide value?"

This is a fantastic question! It really makes you think. What is the relationship between love and a person's value?

I'm so excited to explore this question with you! Can a person only be loved if they can provide value? Or, can a person not be loved if they cannot provide value?

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this issue! It's great to have more people thinking about it too. This kind of brainstorming method is really awesome. Let's dive right in and take a look at your question together!

? Do you think that if you cannot provide value to the other person, they will not love or accept you? Absolutely not! (And emotional value is also a kind of value.)

Modern science and technology continue to progress, society develops rapidly, and people's lives are gradually becoming more secure. This is an amazing time to be alive! However, the pressure is also increasing, and it seems that the excessive development of the times has brought about people's anxiety. The relationship between people is no longer as simple and pure as it used to be, and more people seem to interact with others with a utilitarian heart. This presents an incredible opportunity for growth and evolution in our interpersonal relationships!

In interpersonal relationships, people are drawn to those who can bring them material or spiritual value. If they can, they may be willing to actively get close to them, accept them, and care for them. There are a lot of people like this! If they cannot, they may not be easily accepted by others and may not easily receive the care of others. As the saying goes, "the poor are ignored in the city, while the rich have distant relatives in the mountains."

This phenomenon has existed throughout the ages, and it's more evident now than ever!

But here's the good news! Even if you can't provide value to someone, you can still receive their love and be accepted. There are still plenty of people in society who do good deeds without seeking recognition.

And the topic of love is also very deep and vast. What is love? What kind of love does one want from the other?

Is it absolute and pure love? Or is it impure love with certain impurities?

And the same goes for the topic of acceptance! How do you want others to accept you? Do you want to be accepted unconditionally?

Or do you accept yourself with certain conditions?

The person most likely to unconditionally accept and love another person is YOU!

The most exciting journey of self-discovery is learning to get to know ourselves! Sometimes, we may not be able to accept ourselves completely and unconditionally. When looking at photos of celebrities, we may fantasize that if only we could look as good as they do; when seeing someone else's success, we may fantasize that if only we could be as lucky as the other person.

If we often look at ourselves from the perspective of a bystander, we will find that we are sometimes unable to fully and unconditionally accept ourselves. But there's an easy fix for that! We just need to love ourselves unconditionally. And when we do that, we'll find that others will love us unconditionally too! There's a book called "How Others Treat You Is What You Teach Them." It's true! The way others treat us is actually what we teach them. So, let's give the other person the same way we treat ourselves.

If you can unconditionally accept and love yourself, you're bound to meet someone who can do the same for you! After all, the person most likely to unconditionally accept and love you is you!

How does a person unconditionally accept and love themselves?

If you fully accept yourself, you'll accept your life as it is, embracing all of who you are, the good and the bad. You'll accept your wonderful qualities and the not-so-good ones too. You'll accept that some people may accept and love you unconditionally, while others may not. You'll accept every life as it is, including your own; you'll love every life as it is, including your own!

It's easier said than done, but it's totally worth it! You can achieve unconditional self-love by committing to a lifetime of self-improvement.

Questioner, best wishes! I really hope my answer has been helpful!

The world and I love you so much!

It is because people actively "love" that they are easily discovered and then defined as "valuable." Indeed, it is the people who actively love others who are valuable, not those who passively receive love. The latter are vulnerable because they are passive, and their continued ability to create value depends more on chance.

Many individuals operate under the assumption that they are only worthy of love when they are valuable. This is a flawed assumption, as it is predicated on the idea that those who are blessed and paid attention to must meet the worldly standards of excellence. This misunderstanding can be clarified through the use of big ideas, but it is more effective to share personal experiences that have been tested over time. One such experience is the ability to find a period of time in one's life to resolutely resist the urge to "prove yourself to xxx." This can be achieved by not compromising at all and only doing things that "are not to prove to others."

In the initial stages, it may appear that the drive to improve oneself has dissipated. Many of the positive aspects that the world strives for may seem to elude you, and at times, you may experience feelings of anxiety about becoming a "salty fish." However, when faced with these challenges, it is crucial to maintain composure and resist the urge to give up.

Subsequently, one will actively pursue activities that align with their genuine interests, as the outcome is no longer a primary concern. Instead, one engages in these pursuits with a sense of ease and experimentation, embracing a growth mindset in life.

Subsequently, one may discover that there is no time to concern oneself with whether others love them or not. After being actively chosen by life and experiencing significant challenges, one may conclude that the most cost-effective way to alleviate suffering is to "love people." It is optimal to love to the point of being invincible, which may result in a more harmonious existence.

Following a lengthy period of defiance, I did not become an improved individual, yet those closest to me expressed greater affection and esteem for me than before. Additionally, I have developed the capacity to love others and have experienced the veracity of the assertion that "those who love others will always be loved in return."

Therefore, the fundamental premise is largely irrelevant in terms of its intrinsic value.

Hello, my name is Gu Daoxi Fengshou, and I'm so happy to be here with you today!

There's no love without a reason, and there's no hatred without a reason either. You know, a person's very existence is valuable in itself. You don't have to provide value to others, but your very existence makes people feel valued.

Parents love their children selflessly, and they also feel a sense of responsibility and a sense of being needed.

Friends get along because they have fun together, and they can find a sense of identity and responsibility together.

Lovers are happy because they appreciate each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

If you're feeling a bit down, others can be there for you and help you feel better.

If you're strong, you can make others feel safe and secure. And you'll feel a wonderful sense of being relied on in return!

It's so important to remember that value is a feeling, not something you provide to others. It's about how your existence makes them feel about themselves.

So, you see, there's no one who is worthless, and there's no one who loves you only if you provide value. It's really up to how they feel about you in their hearts.

The questioner may be able to perceive what their own definition of value is and what they themselves need to do to feel that they have value. We all have different ideas about what value is, and what we need to do to feel it. Sometimes you may feel that you have contributed value, but the other person doesn't feel it.

It's so important to try to accept yourself, your shortcomings, and your strengths. When you focus on your strengths and avoid your weaknesses, you'll feel more confident and attractive. You'll shine when you become good at something! And whether or not someone loves you, your perception of yourself will be stable and objective.

We all need to remember that we're not RMB notes, so we don't have to worry about everyone liking us. Even if we were RMB notes, the 100 yuan note is more popular than the 1 yuan note. If you met the two on the street, you probably wouldn't bend down to pick up the 1 yuan note.

It's okay to be alone sometimes. Take up a hobby or two and learn to love yourself. You'll feel better about yourself when you do.

It's so important to learn to love yourself! When you love yourself, you're already on the path to loving others. If you don't love yourself, it can be really hard to feel love for others. You might start to doubt yourself and have trouble trusting others' feelings. This can make your own feelings grow bigger inside you, which can make it harder to connect with others.

I just wanted to share my thoughts with you in the hope that they might be helpful. I wish you all the best!

Hello, questioner! I am Jenny, a psychological counselor.

You have two doubts.

1. I want to know if I can only be loved if I provide value.

2: Emotional value is a value.

I don't know what your first so-called "value" refers to. This question of yours is too broad. I'll answer it to the best of my ability.

In a relationship, girls crave emotional and financial value from the other person. Boys are different. They also value sexual value.

It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a boy. If you can provide these kinds of value to the other person, they'll naturally prefer to be with you. Being with you will make them happy or gain something.

I will answer your question from another dimension: "How can we be loved?"

I once asked myself, "If I died at this moment, what would be my biggest regret?" The answer was clear: after living for 40 years, I have never been cherished, valued, or felt loved by a man. It is a great pity. Although I have been married for more than ten years, I have never felt loved.

For the past three years, I have been asking myself why I have always been "unloved." Even when I was in love, I could not feel valued or cared for.

I have tried many methods, such as speaking in a humorous and interesting way, providing emotional value to the other person, and showing more care and concern, saying hello, and getting angry less often. I was not loved, however, despite my efforts.

I was convinced when I read, "Love yourself, and the whole world will come to love you."

I really crave to be loved, so I took this sentence with a grain of salt and tried to "love myself." I went from initial doubt to complete conviction.

Over the past three years, I have seen profound changes in everyone around me, including my parents, my children, and even my partner.

My husband, who is a typical male chauvinist, now knows how to say sweet things and calls me "baby." In the past, on Valentine's Day, he would always say, "We're old people, what's the point of celebrating Valentine's Day?" But last year, he "gave me a gift," which was a real surprise.

In the past, I was the one who sought him out, but he found me annoying. Now, he is the one who seeks me out and cares about me, making me feel "valued" and "cared for." This is the kind of love I want, and I'm going to get it.

Pleasing the other person with methods, techniques, and the like is exhausting and not what I want.

I want to be clear: if you want to be loved, you have to love yourself first. When you love yourself wholeheartedly, you will find that your heart is at peace, full of contentment and a sense of security, instead of being worried about what you have and haven't got.

Read this book by Zhang Defen, Meet the Unknown Self, to learn how to love yourself. Send me a private message and I'll share my experiences with you!

I wish you a life full of happiness!

Dear Question Asker, I am a healer. Although this question has been closed, I am fortunate to have seen it and feel compelled to offer my opinion. In today's world of human interaction, trust is the foundation, understanding is the guarantee, and sincerity is the way we get along with each other. However, there are still many people who believe that they can only be loved by providing value, as if only reciprocal exchange can lead to gains. Human nature's selfish desires tell us that some things that we think about constantly can be very painful and frustrating before we get them, and then we don't cherish them after we get them, causing our state of mind to always waver between these two situations, which leads to us not knowing what we want or what we need. If we don't understand these two questions, our lives will also be full of pain. Best regards, [Name]

While there are many factors that contribute to a successful relationship, including parental guidance, matchmaking, compatible family backgrounds, and shared values, many individuals still believe that relationships are indestructible. However, when there is no tangible foundation, it becomes challenging to withstand the pressures of reality. The influence of one's original family shapes individuals with distinct personalities, approaches to problem-solving, and behaviors. While praise and encouragement from childhood to adulthood may offer a degree of recognition, only the love of parents, respect from leaders, and trust from spouses can be considered genuine. In today's world, relationships are often driven by a mutual exchange of interests, as there is often no genuine interest beyond that. This has led to a shift in the way we interact with one another, with the value of exchanging interests becoming the norm. In business, it is important to understand that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Even if you pay, you may not get what you want.

There is no love without a reason. Similarly, there is no hatred without a reason. It is also blissful to be loved. For men, loving someone is a kind of responsibility and commitment. For women, it is a hope that others love them a little more than they love others.

The first person we encounter is ourselves, the second is someone who cares about us, the third is someone we care about, and the last is the person with whom we spend our lives. Love is about giving and receiving. Only when both parties love each other without expecting anything in return is it considered valuable (except for unrequited love).

If you cannot provide value to the other person, will the other person not love and accept you? (Emotional value is also a kind of value.) You can equate value with a form of emotion, but the expression of the form is not necessarily value. If we encounter the wrong person, can we not measure it in terms of value? Our time, energy, and cost are all converted, and these are precisely the important manifestations of the warming of emotions and their transformation into affection. The more selfless a person's good deeds are towards another, the more we can understand them as true love. In fact, it is not entirely true around us. For example, in order to win someone's heart, we use all kinds of tricks. Another example is when the other person obviously does not like you, but you create some external "conditions." And because of the "cruelty" of certain actions, you win someone's love. The moment you have this thought, it is important to ensure that it is good and kind. Even if the outcome does not meet our expectations, I believe it is harmless.

If the outcome is negative, even if it is ultimately beneficial, it may not be entirely satisfying. A family that accumulates positive actions will likely receive blessings, while a family that accumulates negative actions will likely experience misfortune. In response to the original poster's question, I will provide a few suggestions for consideration:

Happy families are all alike; unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way. When love is given a sacred meaning in the family, there is a place for gain and loss. It is unreasonable to expect someone who doesn't even love themselves to love others. If you don't respect life and can't give without expecting something in return, you are not being selfish; you are just a body without a soul.

Value is an external form of providing tangible products and intangible services, a function of being exploited, and a certain kind of acquisition in the era of barter. It is important not to convert the kindness shown to others into a measure of value, whether it is more or less. It is not possible to give what is owed, only what is a favor.

It is possible for anyone to heal their mind, but it will close at certain times and open at others. Learning to accept oneself is challenging, as is changing one's nature. To truly understand one's desires, one must reconcile with their past self and discover a new aspect of themselves. Apart from death, there are few major events in life, and everything else is relatively minor.

Please note that these are my personal opinions, for reference only. The world is interconnected, and we are all connected. Best regards,

Greetings,

In regard to your inquiry, the answer may be contingent upon the manner in which it is interpreted.

I would like to pose a few questions in a different form.

For example, if the response to the question is affirmative,

Thus, when one is in a romantic relationship, it is often the case that the individual in question feels that they are providing their partner with a certain value that motivates the partner to love them.

Is the value in question financial, emotional, or temporal?

If the value provided is no longer present, is it accurate to conclude that the other person will cease loving you, and that they will continue to love you as long as you continue to provide it?

Moreover, if another individual is capable of providing this value, is it still the case that the other person will continue to love them?

The question thus arises as to whether it is possible for an individual to love everyone at all times, or whether such a capacity is limited to specific periods.

If you still consider the aforementioned situation to be a possibility,

Let us now shift our focus and consider an alternative subject.

The concepts of love and acceptance are not exclusive to romantic relationships.

One might also consider the role of friendship in this context. What about one's best friend? What about one's mother and father?

One might also consider the following question: What if they were your own children? (If this has not yet been considered.)

To the same question, what value do you believe you have provided that has led to their love and acceptance?

Even if one is unfortunate and experiences a lack of reciprocated love, it is still possible to love another person. At the very least, if one has experienced love from another,

The question thus arises as to whether love is bestowed upon others as a result of the value they provide.

Furthermore, it is essential to inquire whether the subject in question loves and accepts themselves.

When one loves and accepts oneself, is the result an increase in self-value? And what is the value of the self?

The question posed is, at least in part, illogical. Even if one is limited to the concept of "value" as a criterion for evaluation, there are some phenomena that cannot be explained with sufficient clarity.

Even if one provides a clear explanation of one's own perspective, it is still possible to pose these questions to others or to consider them in the context of various fictional narratives.

It will become evident that some relationships are truly inexplicable.

Love may emerge without an understanding of its origin and evolve into a profound sentiment.

This description is, in fact, accurate.

From my own perspective,

It can be reasonably argued that the original poster's assertion contains a degree of veracity.

However, this does not necessarily imply a definitive conclusion.

This is because relationships are always a two-way street.

For example, if one is able to continue to provide the value that the other person has always sought,

It is probable that he will become increasingly enamoured of you. Furthermore, if he is also able to provide you with the value you desire,

If one is direct, the relationship will become stronger and the level of acceptance between the two parties will increase.

Such a situation is indeed a possibility.

However, the key to this is first of all that you gain an understanding of each other's needs and capabilities.

The process of giving and receiving must be comfortable, reasonable, and not exhausting for either party.

Furthermore, over time, an understanding, trust, and acceptance of each other's love is developed, accompanied by the reciprocal giving of love of equal value.

It is my contention that it is not possible for an individual to love and accept others without some form of expectation or desire for reciprocity.

The concept of "no expectations, no returns" may, in fact, represent a form of gratification.

However, it is not the same level of gratification as he anticipated.

Even in the case of a long-term unrequited crush, the individual in question may be unable to discount the possibility that they have previously experienced a similar feeling.

It appears that they are residing in a world of their own creation.

The act of over-giving is predicated on the assumption that the other person will perceive and subsequently respond to the gesture. It is possible that an individual may err in their assessment and expend more resources than is prudent.

However, it can be argued that if one provides too much, a response will be forthcoming.

In the event that it is evident that no outcome will ensue, a definitive rejection will be forthcoming, accompanied by long-term disappointment and loss.

It is not possible to truly give without receiving in the long run, unless one is moved by the process of giving.

This is because we all love ourselves the most.

To be frank, if one's inquiry is hypothetical and one believes one is no longer able to provide value to one's partner or feels too exhausted to do so, the question then becomes, "Will the other person not love and accept me?"

This may be attributed to the fact that we love ourselves.

The desire to receive continuous, uninterrupted love and acceptance from another person without offering anything in return.

In other words, is it of consequence whether the other person evinces love or not, and whether they provide value or not?

In accordance with the original poster's line of reasoning, self-love allows for the continued provision of value, love, and acceptance of oneself.

The question thus arises as to whether it is of consequence whether others love one or not, or whether they accept one or not.

One might reasonably conclude that this will not be an issue.

The aforementioned information is intended for reference only and is presented in the hope that it will be found to be satisfactory.

Hi there!

I think your topic is a bit too broad. It's not as simple as one plus one equals two. It's more like one plus N raised to the power of N. Even if you define value as emotional, it's still a misunderstood topic.

1. Emotional value.

This is how I personally see the value of emotions.

1. Money emotions (financial and emotional)

When it comes to money and emotions, it usually depends on the family situation, work, and salary (discussions often revolve around women). Realistic women, especially some girls who pursue high-end brands for food, clothing, housing, and transportation, are collectively called gold-worshipping women.

The opposite is Yang Tao, played by Gao Yuanyuan, who chooses based on feelings and is the first choice of most men. It depends on whether the other person can accept it whether the value of admiration is affected. If they can accept it, a small amount of emotion can be added; if they cannot accept it, it is best not to add emotion.

And here, it's best not to mix emotions in, as they'll change depending on the environment and your own needs.

2. Acquaintance (living together for more than three months)

It's also a business model after marriage. They have the same interests, the same work environment, and the same circle of friends (without being intimate with each other), which can be regarded as shared values. (The premise is that there is no mixing of family ties, money, or other external factors).

The second thing to note is that giving or complementary value is usually an emotional relationship that isn't very equal. For instance, it's common for men to work to support their families, while women are often more careful with money at home. My suggestion is to watch "Desperate Housewives" with Chang Yuan. What I've written here also shows my view on value (which also involves emotional aspects of money).

This is how I see love.

Love is also very broad. Let's talk about emotional love here. Love can be selfish or selfless. Who would normally love someone selflessly?

Even if you love someone, how long will that love last? If you stop loving someone, does that make you selfish?

This is really just the attitude of the giver and the bystander, and the recipient is usually unaware. People who love someone selflessly do have the right to speak.

This is how I see acceptance.

There are two types of acceptance: self-acceptance and acceptance of others. Self-acceptance is a bit selfish because it rarely considers other perspectives. Acceptance of others is often based on how much benefit you've brought to the other person. This can be hurtful, but it's also true.

If you don't have anything valuable to offer the other person and you expect them to accept you, it makes you feel inadequate.

Hello! I'm not sure if there is unconditional love.

I've read it a few times, and I'm not 100% sure I've got it right. The questioner wants to know if unconditional love exists in the world, even if we can't offer anything to others.

I'd love to start by asking the questioner what they think value is. It's a pretty big topic, so let's break it down! Value is both a philosophical concept and an economic term.

Psychologists say that our values are the deepest desires in our hearts to interact with the world, others, and ourselves. Put simply, they're about who we want to be and what we want to do!

If friendship is a value I hold dear, it means I want to be a friendly friend, help those I care about, experience joy with them, and overcome difficulties together. If achievement is a value I cherish, it means I want to have a career, complete many challenging tasks, and solve one problem after another.

These values we cherish will continue to guide our actions and keep us moving in one direction. They show us the way!

Values can really enrich our lives! We often know exactly what we don't want.

Take, for instance, our thoughts. We don't want to be bothered by them. We don't want painful emotions. And we don't want to face difficult challenges. But, you know, we often don't know what we really want.

It's so helpful to clarify our values! It helps us understand what kind of person we want to become, what kind of relationship we want to have with others, and what we can do to make our lives richer and more meaningful. It's not just about escape, it's about pursuing too!

We're happy to face emotional challenges because it helps us become the person we want to be and do things that are meaningful to us.

So, from this perspective, it seems like unconditional love might not be a real thing. Of course, we can't say for sure that it doesn't exist. Maybe at the start of a relationship, one person will love the other unconditionally and do lots of nice things for them. But that kind of love is more about how the person sees their partner as being perfect, with only good points and no flaws. It's not really based on reality, and it can't last forever.

When the honeymoon period is over, it can be really tough. The other person can easily fall from heaven to hell.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this kind of love and acceptance!

I'd love to know, do you love yourself? And what kind of person do you see yourself as?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you love the excellent self and the insufficient self? And do you accept the whole self?

Because someone who can please themselves is inherently valuable and can certainly bring a different feeling to the other person, we are first loved by ourselves. So, there's no need to fear that no one will love us!

I really think you should try reading some books by Zhang Defen, like "Meet the Unknown Self" and "Re-Encounter the Unknown Self." It would be so great for you to get to know yourself better! And before you start loving others, let's start by loving ourselves.

And finally, I'd like to wish you all the very best in passing this compulsory course in loving yourself!

Hello, I am a heart exploration coach. I believe that everything is easy. I understand that your question is: Can I only be loved if I provide value? I can see how this might lead to the question of whether a person can be loved and accepted by another if they are unable to provide value to that person.

I will do my best to answer your questions.

In a loving relationship, it is important to recognize the need for mutual benefit. This means that each person in the relationship should be able to provide the other with what they need most, and in turn, receive what they need most from their partner.

These needs may include financial security, social status, sexual intimacy, the passing on of genes, emotional connection, companionship, and so on. In a relationship, the contributions of both parties can be regarded as various tangible and intangible values.

The questioner is correct in stating that emotional value is also a form of value. Paying attention to the emotional feelings of another person is also a valuable act that can be performed for them.

Love is an intimate relationship between two people, and by its very nature it is a kind of interpersonal relationship that requires the joint cooperation and management of both parties. It is comprised of three elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

In a relationship, it is important to recognize that both partners have needs that must be met for the relationship to flourish. It is not possible for one person to meet all of their partner's needs on their own. Both people must be willing to put in effort and make sacrifices to ensure the relationship lasts. The ability to find love and sustain a relationship over time depends on both partners' willingness and ability to meet each other's needs.

If I might offer some advice to the questioner, I would say:

1⃣️In an intimate relationship, it would be beneficial for the two people to try to understand each other, each other's most important needs, and their own most important needs in the relationship.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to gain an understanding of the resources you possess and the value you can offer to the other person, as well as the value the other person can provide to you.

Everyone has their own resources, and both parties in a relationship have them. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted, and will use their resources (which they have created themselves) to get what they want.

3⃣️It is also worth noting that loving and accepting the love of others is an ability in itself. It seems that evenly matched love is what lasts. It may be helpful to consider that the ability to balance and sustain a relationship is something that can be learned. The questioner may find it beneficial to read the book "Knowing How to Love".

It could be said that love is an ability, given that Maslow's hierarchy of needs suggests that basic survival and safety needs must first be met. These material needs form the basis for being able to fall in love and satisfy the need for love and belonging. It might be suggested that love and belonging can only flourish once basic needs are met.

People who are able to love others maturely are often those who are able to provide emotional value, who are independent and have boundaries.

It seems that the questioner is seeking love and acceptance, which may be possible if they provide the other person with the value they need over time.

It is often said that this is a period of time because people's needs change. If one party's desires and needs change, while the other party's value remains constant, it may be that the relationship will change as a result.

It is important to remember that love is not something that can be controlled. Even a good love relationship can end because of changes in the needs of either partner. Similarly, a relationship that does not start well may also end up lasting because, over time, the two people learn to communicate honestly and openly, face their own vulnerabilities, discover their true needs, and are willing to change their ways of getting along with each other to meet those needs.

It is important to remember that in any relationship, there are factors that are outside of our control. These are often the result of mutual respect and cooperation between two people.

4⃣ Finally, empathy can be defined as the ability to put oneself in the other person's shoes, to stand from the other person's perspective, and to experience the other person's thoughts and feelings.

Perhaps the questioner could try to put themselves in the other person's shoes. If a person is unable to provide you with any value, including the basic needs of survival, no commitment, and no emotional value, it might be challenging to love and accept that person unconditionally.

It might be helpful to view others as a mirror, reflecting your inner self in relationships. If the questioner wants to be loved and accepted in a relationship, they can find someone who can provide you with the most important needs in an intimate relationship. For example, if you most want the other person to provide you with emotional and emotional value, you can look for someone who has these resources and who can also provide the other person with what they want most from you.

It is my hope that the questioner will learn and grow to become someone who knows and can love themselves, and that they will then attract someone like you to come to their side to love them. You love each other, accompany each other, provide each other with value, and work together to create your beautiful love.

I hope my answer is helpful. If you would like to discuss further, you are welcome to click below to find a coach to interpret, choose a heart exploration chat partner, and communicate with me one-on-one. I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, my name is Gu Yi, and I try to be as humble as I can.

Could it be that we can only be loved if we provide value?

In a lifetime, we will encounter many relationships, and the different positions of different relationships will affect our performance and gains in them. It is also likely that the value we can provide will vary depending on the relationship.

It appears that, in fact, there is a certain exchange of value in every relationship. However, we are accustomed to describing it in beautiful terms, attempting to avoid perceiving it as a transaction or, more practically, an exchange.

It could be said that providing value is a prerequisite for love or affection, though this is something people are often reluctant to admit. Someone who loves you is someone who stays by your side after seeing your good and bad points, someone who needs to love you.

Perhaps we could try to understand the concept of value in a different way.

When we consider the value of love, we may perceive it to be less innocent and beautiful than we had imagined. Similarly, when we reflect on the value of family relationships, we might feel that the world is somewhat cold. However, it is important to acknowledge that the truth is the truth, and it is still the truth even if we are reluctant to accept it.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider why we have a tendency to dwell on value. It could be argued that there is a natural cycle at play, whereby children require guidance and support from their parents during their formative years, and parents similarly benefit from the care and nurturing of their children in their later years. It seems that we are all, in some way, contributing to the value of each other's lives, in alignment with the laws of nature.

From an economic perspective, we are more open to considering the truth when it comes to value. However, when it comes to value in the emotional world, we may find it challenging to embrace.

It might be best not to use the same standards across different fields. We could try to understand it in terms of return and feedback, which might lead to a more positive feeling.

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

From what the questioner said, it seems like they're asking how they can be loved. We often crave love and recognition, and sometimes feel that only by being loved do we have value.

We were loved even before we were born. If we couldn't be loved, we wouldn't have been born. Does the questioner agree?

If we hadn't been loved, we wouldn't be here today. There was once a famous experiment in psychology that asked what would happen if an infant was only fed but not hugged.

The experiment showed that the babies who weren't hugged died on their own because they felt unloved. And the fact that we've been able to grow up so far is actually supported by the love that's been there for us all along.

But as adults, we want more than just hugs or being full. We want acceptance and recognition. This might be why the questioner asks if they can't provide value to someone, that person won't love or accept them.

Since the question was asked on a platform, we can't go into much detail. I can just give the questioner a few simple tips on how to be loved, which I hope will be useful:

It's important to be self-accepting.

Often, if you want others to accept you, the first thing you need to do is accept yourself. Self-acceptance is about establishing a sense of self-approval and feeling worthy of love.

If you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you? It's important to remember that not everyone is going to accept you, because everyone is different.

For instance, if you're on the slim side, it's tough to win over someone who's into fitness. So, just embrace who you are. We're all imperfect, but we're worthy of love and affection.

The questioner's original appearance is very good.

It's important to be self-accepting and respectful.

It's also important to recognize yourself. You can't respect yourself until you recognize yourself. If you can recognize your own personality, your own strengths, or your own areas for improvement, you'll be more confident.

The questioner will realize that they're not so bad after all. They just want to be better. Once they accept themselves, others will accept them too.

Once you recognize yourself, respect will follow.

Respect your own inner wishes and also respect the choices of others. When you respect yourself, you're taking care of yourself and showing your best side to others, which is also a kind of respect for others.

Don't feel like you're worse off than others. Often, when people succeed, it's because they're in a better position to succeed than we are. So don't feel inferior. Once you respect yourself, others will respect you too.

Identify your passion.

What are your strengths and interests? What are the things that are worth investing time and energy in? If you love something, you'll attract a group of people with the same interests as you.

In the book The Law of Attraction, it's also said that when you want something, you'll attract people who are similar to you. When the questioner shows their love, whether it's for sports or something else, and gives it their all, the people around the questioner will be inspired by the questioner's enthusiasm and find their own love.

It's important to understand what kind of love you want.

What kind of love are you looking for? There are many different types of love, and everyone has a different idea of what love is. Some people think that companionship is love, while others believe that intimate relationships are love. What kind of love are you looking for?

Has the questioner thought this through? Often, even without an intimate relationship, we can still feel love in certain things and details. It's important for the questioner to understand what kind of love they want, rather than thinking that they can get love in return for something in kind.

Of course, if the questioner feels that the other person isn't giving them what they want, they can also express themselves clearly or maintain an appropriate distance. Love can be complicated. It can bring happiness, but it can also mean a lot of responsibility and commitment. The questioner needs to think carefully about whether they can handle it if they accept this love.

If you're still struggling, it might be time to seek psychological help.

If you're still unsure how to be loved or how to love others after trying the above methods, you can seek help from a professional psychologist or counselor.

I think that if they speak to one of these professionals, they'll gain a different perspective on the issues and be able to improve their mental and physical health.

I hope my answer helps the questioner.

Let me clarify the questioner's question. We must first understand two things through analysis: first, how you can provide value to the other person in love, and second, whether it is necessary to provide value to the other person in order to establish the foundation of love.

You must provide value to your partner in love.

First and foremost, never put pressure on the other person. If you do, you'll only end up causing them stress.

In a relationship, you must understand the other person's feelings and ensure they never feel oppressed.

Second, you mustn't let him feel isolated. If you want him to feel a sense of belonging to you, you mustn't always treat him in a boring or indifferent way.

Let me be clear: if you want you two to be together forever, it's not going to happen.

Ultimately, we have to provide each other with some material and spiritual satisfaction. Material things are always limited, so if she really likes someone, she won't want to possess any material conditions.

In love, you cannot rely on just one person or one thing to gain the love and recognition of the other person. The most important and most effective thing is for the two people to work together and support each other.

2. You must provide value to the other person as the basis for building a relationship.

There is no single answer to this question. You must analyze the situation and understand the meaning for yourself.

We frequently read about the concept of value exchange in articles.

This is a very reasonable theory and a very practical relationship skill. However, in our lives, most of us overlook the most important but often overlooked issue: value exchange.

Many people feel, "I've done so much for you, why can't you be a little nicer to me?" This is a difficult question to answer.

(1) What is love?

Some say, "Love is when you need something and I can give you what you want."

Someone else said, "Love is when I want something to eat and someone else happens to have some, so I can give it to them."

Another person said, "Love should be expressed boldly, without any excuses."

Tell me, what is your ideal love like? What do you need from your partner?

And what can you give to the other person? Or is it a state of no desire and no need?

(2) Love is about providing value for the other person.

First, we'll examine why we "provide value" in a relationship.

Second, you must understand that if there is no need for "self-development and personal growth" in a relationship, it will not be a healthy one.

It is crucial to understand that if you only provide value to the other person in an intimate relationship without considering your own needs to grow and improve, the relationship will be ineffective.

So, in our lives, does love need to be built and maintained?

(3) We must ask ourselves: what is it that we are supposed to give to the other person in a relationship?

Many people are wrong when they think that if we cannot provide value to the other person, then we cannot ask the other person to provide value to us. In fact, in most relationships, this is not what you have to do.

The value of both parties is subjectively judged by the other party, which is very abstract and subjective.

(4) Why does our love always feel like it's getting further and further apart?

This brings us to the question of whether love requires an exchange of value.

Love requires a value exchange. If it doesn't, our love will grow further and further apart from us.

I want to know what causes this mentality.

(5) I'd like to know your views on the value of a relationship.

Distinguishing between the concepts of "value exchange" and "providing value to the other person" allows us to view the issue from another perspective.

First, we must understand "value exchange" as a means, not as something that the other person must do.

Second, "value exchange" is a skill that is built on intimacy, but it is not a necessity in a relationship.

And we all know that what we do and go through in life is based on intimate relationships.

To sum up, love is a subjective world for two people. There is no fixed answer as to whether there needs to be "equivalence" or not. The value of a relationship depends entirely on the subjective perception of both parties. Otherwise, why do the same people break up after a while?

There's no need to dwell on this question. Just be the best you can be and find a partner who matches you, and you'll be happy.