Can't bear to be separated from her boyfriend, does she really have to become a stepmother?

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

You feel helpless and in need of understanding and support.

From your description, it's clear that you feel particularly pained when you're ordered because you believe that having a boyfriend means having his child at the same time. If you can't accept his child, it means that your future with your boyfriend may not be bright. And you're not willing to separate from him.

What do you think?

It is human nature to accept and love yourself as an unmarried woman. This means that you will naturally reject a child that is not yours. If you cannot change this, you must learn to accept it. You must accept that your boyfriend has a child with another woman and that you will raise this child with him in the future.

You must love your boyfriend with all your heart to accept this child. After all, he is the person you love the most, and the person he loves the most is also the person you try to learn to love. You don't want your boyfriend to be sad, do you?

You must accept the person for who they are, including all of their past.

You need to understand that your rejection of the child is probably rooted in your fear of not being a qualified stepmother. You cannot cultivate a relationship with her like that of a biological mother and daughter, and all your efforts may be in vain. You and this child were never mother and daughter. Let go of yourself and treat her as your biological mother. She needs to respond to your expectations as your biological daughter. This will help you and the child get along better and allow love to happen naturally.

You need more support and help from your boyfriend in dealing with this child. Tell your boyfriend directly, bravely, and sincerely about this. Don't bear this part alone—you can't do it alone either.

I am Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.

Dear question asker,

I'll give you a big hug from afar. I can understand your desire to remain with your boyfriend, who is a very nice person. However, I can also appreciate your reservations about his four-year-old daughter.

On the one hand, you have indicated that you are not particularly fond of children. On the other hand, you have also expressed some reservations about assuming the role of marriage-30280.html" target="_blank">stepmother.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider this in two parts:

One aspect to consider is the relationship between you and your boyfriend and your plans for married life. When getting married, it is important to reflect on the relationship between the two parties, their compatibility and degree of tolerance, including their approach to things, attitudes and philosophies. It is also helpful to be mindful that married life is different from being in a relationship, and to approach this transition with a positive and open mindset.

It would also be wise to consider the opinions and support of the main family members on both sides, as this can also affect the stability of your future married life. In addition, it might be helpful to think about whether there is a specific plan for married life, such as living alone with your own children or living with the elderly. It would also be beneficial to consider how to balance picking up children and going to work.

The second issue is how to interact with your future stepchildren. If you decide to get married, you will have accepted your boyfriend and his children, including the elderly in his family. You are a little concerned about the new role of stepmother and you don't particularly enjoy spending time with children.

You might consider spending more time with your child before the wedding to establish a connection. Four years old is often a time when children need companionship. You could start with less time and gradually increase it. Trust and affection can develop gradually. You may find out whether you can accept this model in your interactions with your child, your boyfriend, and other family members. As long as you are sincere with her, she will likely feel it.

Whatever decision you make, it is important to consider all aspects carefully. Marriage is a significant step in life, and this is an additional challenge. I am confident that you will find a suitable solution.

I wish you the best of luck! ?