Can't find a boyfriend, in my 30s, worried about not getting married, what should I do?

You're anxious about not having a boyfriend by the time you turn 30. You're afraid you'll end up alone.

Girls can see that you're already taking action to find a boyfriend. I'm here to give you a hug and support you from across the phone.

Let's be real. If you haven't found a boyfriend by the time you turn 30 and you don't plan to remain single, you will probably feel a bit anxious. It's that age.

Our usual ways of finding a boyfriend are our own social circles and our parents' social circles. We can also use some public social platforms and social activities.

You haven't met the right one here. They're too young, their conditions don't match up, or there's no chemistry.

This is a common phenomenon on the road to finding a spouse. There are many people just like you who are also on the road to finding a spouse.

People today live faster-paced lives with less time to live independently, particularly career women.

People are focused on their careers during the best season for dating. When they achieve success in their careers and return to dating, they'll find that suitable men around them are either married or have become friends with you.

This is not just a dilemma for women, it's a problem for men too.

Many men are now of marriageable age and have not found a suitable marriage partner. It is clear that there is a lack of opportunity for unmarried men and women to meet each other, as well as a lack of time and space to bring them together.

You'll find your partner. There are plenty of men like you who haven't found a partner yet, and your partner is waiting to meet you. It's now very common for people to get married in their thirties, and it's not uncommon to get married at an even older age.

Colleagues in our office generally get married between the ages of 28 and 35. One colleague is already 46 years old, and her child is only 7 years old.

She's a great colleague. She didn't have time for a relationship while she was building her career.

When you're in love, you realize that there aren't many suitable men around. But in the end, he did find his true love.

You will find someone.

You're already taking positive action. Keep up the enthusiasm.

You will find someone.

You need to cultivate a hobby of your own to help with your emotions.

For example, go dancing and singing. In sports, you can maintain your physical and mental health, and at the same time, you will find people with similar interests as you.

I hope this helps. I love you, and so does the world.

Hello, host! I understand your feelings very well. A woman's mentality changes significantly when she approaches her thirties. She wants to settle down and get married. If she hasn't yet found herself in this state, she will experience intense anxiety and worry.

I'm going to share some experiences with you.

Living a good single life is the only way to live a good married life. While waiting for the right person to come along, we must cultivate ourselves. We must cultivate our ability to live a good life, cultivate our ability to withstand risks, and cultivate a strong and tolerant heart.

If you can't enjoy being single, you'll attract the wrong kind of people and they'll consume you.

The problems at each stage of life are insignificant when placed in the context of the whole life. We have encountered countless problems on the road to adulthood, but when we look back at those problems that we once thought were so big, we realize they are not worth mentioning.

The same is true of the current marriage issue. It is likely not as troubling as we think, and what is troubling us may be inside us.

We need to identify exactly what we're anxious and worried about. We haven't met the right person in our thirties, entered into marriage, and fallen into a state of anxiety, irritability, worry, fear, and various emotional states.

But behind these emotions, we must ask ourselves: do we want to be afraid of growing old alone, or do we want to be afraid of being considered abnormal by others? I believe that asking ourselves why will alleviate our negative emotions.

Good day, landlord.

However, you can empathize with the pressure from your family and your age. Please do not worry. Take a moment to calm down, then consider your options.

In fact, when we look for a partner, we tend to place undue emphasis on the wrong factors, which can cause undue anxiety.

It would be advisable to focus on your own situation and first consider the current status of the landlord.

Salary, hobbies, relationships with friends and family, etc., can contribute to the landlord's overall satisfaction.

While maintaining your current daily routine, enhancing your professional capabilities, and increasing your income will boost your confidence.

Additionally, regular exercise, body shaping, and reading can enhance one's appearance and inner self.

The nuances of human interaction are complex, and each individual has a unique set of standards and expectations.

First impressions are important, as are current external conditions, family background, education, and work status. However, these factors are not the most important.

They also represent a significant factor in forming a first impression.

Additionally, one's conduct in relationships with others, including those in one's immediate vicinity, is a factor to consider.

If an individual does not express positive regard for you, it is an indication that you have not yet met their standards.

It should be noted that there may also be individuals who are not viewed negatively by the hostess. This does not indicate whether they are good or bad.

This simply indicates that you have not yet encountered an individual who aligns with your standards.

Regardless of the host's shortcomings, they possess distinctive characteristics and strengths. It is essential to identify your own strengths and leverage them effectively.

It is also important to avoid viewing yourself as an older woman who is still single and must find someone.

If you meet the right person, proceed with a slow and deliberate pace to get to know each other. Should it not work out, move on to the next person.

It is important to remain calm and avoid the negative effects of anxiety. The more anxious you are, the more it will impact your ability to make sound decisions.

Allow the process to unfold naturally.

Ultimately, it is my hope that the hostess will find her own Prince Charming.

I am writing to express my warm regards for the month of June and to convey my affection for the world.

Hello, dear questioner! It's like meeting someone in person when you read their words. I can feel your inner turmoil and sadness from your writing. I'll try to describe my point of view as best I can, and I really hope my answer will be helpful and inspiring to you!

I can totally relate to your desire to have someone to accompany you for the rest of your life! It's so sad when things never work out, and you find yourself in a state of anxiety, not wanting to be a lonely old person.

There's a saying that goes: some people find their ideal at the age of 30, some achieve their ideal goals at the age of 20, and some people remain unproductive their whole lives and have no idea what their ideal is.

I just want to say that everyone has a different growth cycle. What we can do is to slowly cultivate ourselves and let ourselves grow little by little. One day, what is meant to be will come. Don't worry! Anxiety and worry seem to be of no use.

You also mentioned that you participated in activities, but the people you met weren't quite your cup of tea, and there weren't many people you really clicked with. But at least you gave it a go, and that's a great start! Just wait patiently for the right person to come along.

I totally get it. You might think that at 30, you're already too old to get married and have kids. I get it. But here's something to think about: the average age of childbirth in China is now in the 30s. So, it might be worth waiting a little longer to see what happens.

I know it can be tough, but try to give yourself positive mental suggestions and tell yourself that this thing will get better and better. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

I wish you the best of luck!

I love you, world! And I love you too!

Hello! I'll give you a hug.

I can see you're anxious and uneasy about relationships.

You must understand that you are not marrying because you cannot find a husband, but because you don't want to. You may also be afraid of intimacy because of your parents' marriage. Try to become aware of these feelings.

If you don't want to get married or aren't ready for an intimate relationship, it's often because you lack self-confidence, don't accept yourself, don't believe you deserve to be loved, and don't believe you can manage a happy relationship. But an intimate relationship is really a relationship between us and our inner selves.

If we accept ourselves, we can have happy, loving relationships.

Your vitality will attract a partner who is in tune with you.

If you're afraid of intimacy because of your parents' unhappy marriage, face your feelings. You're not to blame. You need support. If your parents can't help, you must help yourself.

Read Life Without Parental Control and How to Make the One You Love Fall in Love With You.

I'm Lily, the Q&A Museum's little ear. The world and I love you.

Hello, young lady. I can see you're feeling confused, so I'm giving you a big hug!

I can see you're going through a rough patch, but I'm here to give you a warm hug and tell you everything's going to be okay!

You say, "You are now 30 years old and have actively participated in activities, but you still haven't found a boyfriend."

I promise you, if you are willing to take the initiative to participate in activities and expand your social circle, it is only a matter of time before the right guy appears!

And remember, relationships are all about fate!

Don't worry, just because you haven't found a boyfriend yet doesn't mean you won't find one in your lifetime.

And remember, love also requires the right time, place, and people!

I promise you, at the right time, the right person will appear!

So, don't be too hard on yourself! It's totally normal to feel this way at 30. It's not like you're going to end up lonely if you haven't found a boyfriend yet.

My mom met my dad when she was 37, and I came along when she was 38. I really think that gives you a little hope!

I really hope the problem you're having gets sorted out soon.

I'm so sorry, but I can think of only these things now.

I really hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you, my dear girl. I'm here for you, and I'm studying hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

Hello, host. I'm confident my answer will help you.

I know we're anxious and worried because we don't have a boyfriend yet, but we will have one. And we won't end up alone.

My advice to you is this:

First, you have to believe that you will find happiness and the right person for you.

The Rosenthal effect in psychology is clear: you will get what you expect. You don't get what you want, but what you expect.

Expect the best and you'll get it. If you believe that things will go well, they will. If you believe that things are constantly being hindered, they will be.

You must remind yourself positively: I will definitely meet the right person, I will definitely experience happy emotions, I will definitely enter into a happy marriage relationship.

Many such miracles have happened. You will eventually reap the happiness that belongs to you as long as you have this kind of positive and firm belief in yourself.

2. Think about "what does being in your 30s and not married mean to you?" and identify the root cause of your anxiety.

We all have different reasons for feeling anxious. Some of us feel sorry for our parents, while others are afraid of what other people will say or gossip about us. And then there are those of us who are really anxious because we haven't lived the romantic life we expected.

Different anxieties require different approaches. If you don't see a problem with not getting married in your 30s but are concerned about your parents' worries and other people's comments, you need to address how to handle your parents' expectations and other people's comments. You need to become more independent and take responsibility for your own life. If you want to fall in love but haven't met the ideal person, you need to find the reason and method.

In the group chat room, Mr. Liang recommended a book called "The Road to Revolution." He said that even if two people end up together, it is crucial to respect each other's loneliness. Mr. Liang believes that in our current society, everyone has their own path and independence. It is essential to learn how to compromise and get along with each other. This is also the reason why modern love is so challenging.

If you want to control the other person, you'll face a major challenge. While it's true that we now find love difficult, the situation will become more complicated in the future as we see more and more diversification. This is something we must cherish now.

Mr. Liang also mentioned the movie "Comrades, Almost a Love Story." He stated that the movie reflects our perception of making such a choice to improve our lives. Along the way, we see that it leads to a life at the bottom of society, where we learn to get along and help each other little by little. The portrayal of these small characters shows us that although our lives are full of trauma, it is often because of this that we can accept and communicate with each other more easily. If we are at a high level, we may become harsh instead. Our current middle-level standards, although they will give us material things, may also make us lose love. To put it bluntly, don't set your expectations and demands too high. For example, don't expect to find a certain type of person, because in the end, we may not be able to find that person or it may just cause us problems.

Ms. Liang also mentioned that many people don't do well in relationships because they think too much about it, comparing it to this and that. Let me be clear: a lot of things cannot be calculated by computer data. When we are in a relationship, we should pay more attention to feelings and the emotional level.

Refer to all of the above and figure out what it means for you not to get married by the age of 30. What are you really afraid of?

3. Find out once and for all whether we are really afraid of loneliness or if we really want love.

Teacher Liang also discussed two types of people in his chat room. The first type is afraid of loneliness and wants to fall in love, but they can't get out of it. The second type is used to being single and afraid to try.

If you're afraid of loneliness and want to fall in love, you need to face it head on. Loneliness is an important thing, something you'll instinctively want to grasp. Do something new. Read a book you haven't read before, go on a trip, listen to music, take photos, and so on. It's not a lack of self-discovery that prevents people from falling in love, it's a lack of trying new things. Fill your heart and learn to be alone with yourself. That's the foundation for meeting a good love.

If you love being single, embrace it. It gives you freedom to come and go as you please, and it makes you happy. Decide whether you're a consumer or a creator in love. If you're a consumer, you'll let society define your life. If you're a creator, you'll make changes because you're open to new possibilities. Either way, you're on your own path of creation. If you don't want to fall in love now, don't. You'll meet similar people with similar interests. Just let nature take its course, and don't reject love because it may be a good encounter.

Finally, I want to share a few words Mr. Liang said that day: Read more, believe in love, and understand that love is not a material thing as we understand it now, but rather an additive and regulator of life's instincts. These days, it's called marriage for the sake of marriage. If you go directly from discussing marriage from a marriage perspective without experiencing love, you'll end up in misfortune.

You will meet your Mr. Right, and you will find your own happiness. Best wishes!

Hello, questioner! I'm Teacher Zhang, a listener on the Yixinli platform.

"I'm anxious about not being able to find a boyfriend in my 30s." This is a superficial emotion. To resolve emotional problems, we must reach the core emotions.

You asked, "Will I end up lonely?" This shows you fear loneliness. Chinese people have always believed that men should marry when they're old enough, and women when they're old enough. They also believe that the more children, the more blessings.

As times and society have changed, new family forms and lifestyles have emerged.

You can choose to get married, stay single, or be in a relationship. The key is to be happy with your life and your choices.

Have you ever thought about what it means to be human? I think it's about being happy.

Happiness is different for everyone. Our happiness is in our hands.

When we're financially and personally independent, we can pursue happiness.

I want to tell you, "Don't be afraid. Learn to love yourself. When you love yourself, you can love others."

That's when you'll find true love and happiness. Go for it!

"

Hello, dear girl!

I have read your description several times very carefully, and "end up living alone?" really made me think for a while. "End up?" actually contains a kind of resistance, a kind of choice-10657.html" target="_blank">fearlessness, and a kind of stubbornness—and I love it!

Marriage is a wonderful thing! It's a matter of fate, and two people need to be compatible in order to be happy together.

"I'm over 30 and I'm anxious about not getting married." But don't worry! Whether you get married or not, let's take a look at how to choose:

1. Marry someone you love!

2. You can absolutely find someone to marry!

3. If you can't find someone you like, don't get married — it's as simple as that!

I don't think you would choose option 2 because you would have married yourself off long ago! You are restricted by stereotypical models and perhaps the pressure of your elders and relatives, but what are your true expectations?

Do you really want to get married? Do you really want to marry just anyone?

Are you really afraid of not getting married? I'm here to tell you that there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of!

Absolutely! We can always make another choice when we come back. Option 1. Yes!

We can always make another choice when we come back! Option 1: Yes, there is no suitable partner right now, but that doesn't seem to be a fixed time limit. 30 is not the end; it's another starting point in our lives. If we keep looking, we will see hope!

Choose 2. There's absolutely no harm in not getting married! Not getting married doesn't mean you'll be lonely. There's so much beauty around you that you need to see, enjoy, and share!

I really hope these thoughts can help you!

I really hope these thoughts help!