1408
94
40
By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello!
Give yourself a great big pat on the shoulder, take a deep breath, and...
Let go of the tension and discomfort in your body and mind and return to the present moment!
Perhaps the questioner has never had the chance to experience the incredible feeling of trust and security in a real relationship. It's not because their shortcomings are a problem for the other person, but rather in the questioner's perception, completely revealing themselves is a wonderful, exciting experience!
This kind of thinking can make us especially "sensitive" when interacting with others. It can lead us to unconsciously amplify our weaknesses, which can make it difficult to truly enjoy a relationship and focus on the present. But there's a way to change this!
In fact, the questioner can completely change their thinking and try to interpret the answer to the question from a different perspective. If the questioner really likes a friend, they would never stay away from and reject the other person because of some harmless flaws!
Obviously the answer is no, so why do other people stay away from you? At this point, we can really see what the problem is with the fear inside. It's not that the other person will really leave us, but sometimes it has to do with the inferiority complex within ourselves. Because I'm afraid of being rejected and abandoned, I reject and avoid all conflicts and contradictions. But it is this over-cautiousness that exacerbates the fear inside. So, let's turn this around! I can choose to be more confident and embrace the possibility of new relationships. I can choose to be open to new connections and experiences. I can choose to be more assertive and take the initiative to reach out to others. I can do this!
Friends and other relationships are all intimate relationships. The more intimate they are, the closer they get to our core. It's like peeling an onion: the more self-exposure there is, the more we can share this as a "little secret" to strengthen the sense of closeness. The more relaxed we feel, the more we feel free and relaxed!
The next time you feel that familiar feeling of unease and nervousness, give yourself a mental pep talk! Remind yourself, "Oh, there you go again, feeling uneasy. There's nothing to see here, I'm fine, you can relax too." Then stop paying too much attention to it. Over time, your inner self-model will change, and you'll start to trust and affirm yourself. The more you do this, the more secure you'll feel!
You've got this! Keep up the amazing work!
Helpful to me 67
disapprove0
Comments
I can totally relate to feeling like you've shown too much of your dark side and worried it might push someone away. It's tough when you're trying to balance being true to yourself while also wanting to be accepted. I guess what helps is remembering that real friends accept you for who you are, imperfections and all. Maybe give him more credit; if he's said no, he means it.
It sounds like you're really torn between wanting to be close and fearing rejection. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in relationships. But making mistakes is part of being human. The fact that you're concerned shows you care deeply. Try not to overthink every slipup; instead, focus on the positive connection you have and let it grow from there.
You're questioning whether you're being too sensitive or extreme, but those feelings come from a place of caring about this person and valuing the relationship. Instead of cutting ties, maybe talk openly with him about your concerns. Honest communication can clear up misunderstandings and strengthen trust. If he values the friendship as much as you do, he'll understand where you're coming from.
Feeling like you've messed up can be incredibly stressful, especially when it involves someone important to you. But remember, everyone has moments they regret. What matters is how you move forward. Since he reassured you that he's not scared off, perhaps take his words at face value. Building a solid friendship takes time and occasional missteps can actually bring people closer as they learn to navigate challenges together.