Does your boyfriend always deliberately annoy the cat, knowing that he will be caught?

Hello, From what you've shared, it seems you have a good understanding of your feelings about your boyfriend's injury. I'm Little Anemone, a counseling intern, and I'm here to help you analyze the situation.

— It seems that your boyfriend enjoys teasing the cat and pinching its belly until it scratches him.

I must admit, I'm a little perplexed by his behavior. It seems to be the same every week, and the injuries on his arms never stop.

—From what I understand, the boyfriend enjoys hearing the cat meow and finds the little baby voice very endearing.

—It seems like you feel your boyfriend is a bit too controlling. Could you tell me more about what you mean by that?

?‍♂️It seems that the girlfriend enjoys teasing the cat. Could you please clarify whether the cat belongs to the boyfriend or to you? If it belongs to you, could you please let me know when you got the cat, whether before or after you met your boyfriend?

If the cat belonged to the boyfriend, how long has he had it? From what you said, it seemed like the cat was adopted.

Could you please clarify whether the cat is male or female?

If you don't read the text, you might not fully understand her actions. Could I ask if you mean that you and your boyfriend can only meet once a week?

It seems that you only have the opportunity to see your boyfriend at the weekends. Could I ask whether this is a long-distance relationship?

While you are not far apart, it seems that your schedules do not allow for much time together outside of the weekends. Perhaps you could consider making the most of your time together and nurturing your relationship.

Have you ever considered whether your boyfriend comes to see you every time?

It seems that your boyfriend has a strong affection for you, yet he is only able to spend time with you on the weekends. It's understandable that he might feel a bit jealous of the cat that keeps you company when he is not around.

He said he likes to hear the cat's meow, and the little baby voice is very cute. This may be an excuse from your boyfriend. It's understandable that he might be embarrassed to say that he is jealous of a cat.

It might be helpful to have a good communication with your boyfriend.

Perhaps it would be helpful to talk about your future and what plans you have. If you would like to move towards marriage,

Perhaps it would be helpful to face reality head-on, work through the practical difficulties between you, and consider moving towards marriage. This could potentially change the situation.

My boyfriend's situation may be a manifestation of his desire to exert control, but it could also be a reflection of a childish mentality. You meet once a week.

It's summer, and after each meeting, he goes back to work.

It's possible that colleagues may chat about their lives. Perhaps there are scratches on the arms.

No matter how it happened, you may be able to prove that he saw his girlfriend during his break.

Perhaps he could prove that he has a girlfriend and no longer belongs to the ranks of single dogs. It might be helpful to tell him all of your doubts.

Perhaps your boyfriend will be able to provide you with an explanation that satisfies you.

I hope my analysis is helpful to you. If it isn't, I completely understand.

The Yixinli platform has a strong team of counselors, some of whom are particularly skilled in addressing emotional issues.

You might find it helpful to speak with them. They may be able to offer you some additional insights.

Hello!

Your boyfriend teasing the cat has made you think. You are meticulous and confused.

Even when we don't realize it, our behavior has psychological needs. Cats are usually docile and don't attack easily. Some people tease cats because they like seeing them suffer.

Some people use abuse to get a thrill.

Some people attack because they have nowhere to release their aggression. This is especially true for people who were abused as children. Some people also attack because they are under pressure at work or in life.

Your boyfriend teases the cat because it's fun for him. But it's also attracted your attention and made you think. Talk to your boyfriend to understand why he teases the cat. What does the cat's sweet meow sound mean to him? What associations does it bring up in him? You can explore this together to understand each other better. You can help your boyfriend understand his true inner needs. Maybe he is under some pressure that he cannot release, or maybe he is anxious inside. Exploring and finding the reasons will help him find satisfaction or release.

Exercise or do something else to release your energy.

Cat scratches can carry the rabies virus, so a vaccine is needed. Remind him of the harmfulness of this behavior.

If he can't change, don't worry. Get gloves for teasing cats. Show him you understand and are tolerant. Let him feel your love and respect his feelings. Let go of your anxiety and desire for control. This may be better for your relationship.

I hope Hongyu's reply helps. Thanks for asking!

Hello, question asker!

From what the questioner has said, it seems like her boyfriend really wants to hear the cat's voice when he catches it, right? It can be hard when someone wants to control you, and it can make you feel confused and speechless. What other feelings does this behavior give the questioner besides confusion?

I'm curious, has your boyfriend ever deliberately provoked the kitten and gotten caught? It would be so interesting to know what he feels in those moments! Have you ever asked him?

I'm curious, when your boyfriend hears a cat meowing, does he feel relaxed, or what? Or does he like the feeling of controlling the kitten?

Or maybe you like the release after being caught? These require the questioner to slowly communicate with her boyfriend.

I'm so sorry, but since the question was asked on a platform, I can only give some simple advice on it.

1. Have a chat with your boyfriend and see how he's been feeling lately.

Sometimes, there are things that bother him. We all have those days! When he doesn't want to talk about it and let it bother him, he will choose to relax in some way.

It would be really helpful for the questioner to communicate with her boyfriend to see if he has had any problems recently or if he is under any pressure at work. It's totally normal for people to have negative emotions when faced with mistakes or stress.

It's totally normal to feel anxious, remorseful, or self-blaming when we're facing pressure or making mistakes. These negative emotions are our bodies' way of reacting to stressful situations. It's really helpful to understand your boyfriend's views on these issues and how he deals with negative emotions when he's under pressure.

2. It would be really helpful to understand the interaction between the boyfriend and the kitten.

If your boyfriend's interactions with the cat make you feel bad or cause you to overreact, it might be helpful to find out if he likes cats. Does his interaction with the cat help his mood? Is the cat hurting itself behind his back? Is he repressing something, unable to let go, and trying to relax through interactions with the cat?

Then, the questioner can start to notice their own thoughts about not being able to interact with their boyfriend and kitten. It's totally normal to feel this way! What are they worried about?

It's so common for kids to feel lost and confused during their teenage years. They often don't get the guidance they need, and they don't know how to express their feelings. This can make it hard for them to recognize their own personal growth, and they might even start to doubt themselves. When they can't let go of their emotions, they can turn to self-harm as a way of coping.

It would be really helpful for you to think back carefully. Apart from interacting with the cat, does your boyfriend have any other self-harming behaviors? Or how does he deal with negative emotions?

3. Learn to deal with emotions with your boyfriend.

It's totally normal to have different emotions when you're in a relationship with your boyfriend. The good news is that it's not scary to have emotions, as long as you learn how to deal with them. You can absolutely coexist with your emotions!

There are so many ways to deal with emotions! When you're feeling negative, take a deep breath and tune in to what you're feeling. Is there a better way to handle it than acting out in ways that harm yourself? Absolutely! You can talk to a trusted friend, go for a run, let it all out through exercise, or do whatever you love to feel better. Just remember, as long as you're not hurting yourself or others, you can do whatever you like!

4. Psychological intervention

If your boyfriend is really struggling to get over negative emotions, you can always go to a psychologist for some help. It's so important to get the right support when you're facing emotional challenges. I'm sure a good psychologist will be able to help your boyfriend feel better.

5. Accept yourself, sweetheart!

Apart from work, it's so important to make time to enjoy life with your boyfriend. Find your own interests and hobbies and do the things you like to do when you have time.

The questioner and her boyfriend can set themselves some positive rewards, such as buying something they like if they haven't deliberately hurt themselves for a long time, or treating themselves to a big meal. And if you can afford it, you can also eat some chocolate or other sweets to give yourself a sense of pleasure!

Life is full of ups and downs, so let's love ourselves and accept ourselves, okay?

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

Greetings!

I am a heart detective coach, and learning is the most valuable asset of the human body.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a complex array of emotions, including doubt, confusion, and a strong desire for clarity.

The specifics of the situation will not be discussed in detail here, as the actions of your boyfriend are deliberate and intentional, despite his awareness of the consequences. The following analysis is provided for your reference:

Firstly, it can be posited that the male partner deliberately provoked the feline, cognizant of the fact that he would be subjected to a scratching response, which would likely gratify his desire for control.

Additionally, in your description, you indicated that he enjoys the sound of a cat's meow. Therefore, by provoking the cat to make this sound, he believes he will retain control over the situation. Furthermore, he perceives the scratches inflicted by the cat as inconsequential, as they merely leave marks and do not cause significant discomfort.

Secondly, your boyfriend is accustomed to teasing cats and receiving scratches, which may also be attributed to the concept of a "familiar environment."

Humans possess an intrinsic tendency to seek familiarity and stability in their surroundings.

It is possible that your boyfriend was subjected to physical abuse at the hands of family members during his childhood. While the injuries sustained were not life-threatening, they were nevertheless traumatic. Consequently, he may have become desensitised to such experiences, perceiving them as a normal and even familiar aspect of his life.

Thirdly, it appears that your boyfriend is accustomed to being mistreated. Despite being aware that he will be scratched by the cat, he continues to provoke it. This behaviour may also be linked to his narcissistic tendencies.

One might inquire as to why he is inclined to be scratched (or abused). The rationale may be that the sensation of being scratched by a cat provides him with a sense of gratification, which he seeks to attain by acting as a "tragic hero" in order to gratify his narcissistic tendencies.

It is analogous to an individual who is aware that their marriage is untenable but is reluctant to terminate the union. They anticipate that the other party will alter their behavior to meet their needs, thereby providing a sense of fulfillment.

The meaning of being abused can be translated as extending an invitation of love to someone one hates.

Additionally, your boyfriend may be hoping that one day the cat will cease its scratching behavior, just as he is hoping that the individuals who harmed him during his childhood will love him.

It must be acknowledged that the aforementioned reasons are merely my own analysis, and it is my sincere hope that they will prove beneficial to you. Should you wish for your boyfriend to undergo a change, it would be advisable to engage in a constructive dialogue with him, endeavouring to comprehend his perspective and facilitate a logical introspection into his own state of mind, thereby enabling him to recognise the underlying issue. Once he has identified the problem, this marks the inception of a potential shift in his behaviour.

Moreover, should you wish to engage in further communication, you may click on the option entitled "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" located at the bottom of the page. This will enable me to communicate with you on an individual basis.

Hello, dear author! I feel like I've met you in person after reading your words!

After reading your description, I feel that you are brimming with curiosity and intrigue about your boyfriend's intriguing behavior.

Let's do some sorting and thinking!

I noticed that you said, "My boyfriend spends two or three days a week playing with the cat every night when he comes home." This is definitely worth thinking about in more detail!

a. When did he start his awesome new habit of "playing with the cat for a while every night when he gets home"?

b. What amazing things can this habit bring him?

c. What goals or desires might his desire for control over the cat reflect?

Let's dive deeper!

You say that he will "intentionally squeeze the cat's belly, and then the cat will scratch him, or keep squeezing the cat to make it purr, and every week there will be two or three scratches on his arm from the cat's claws." But you don't understand why he "knows he will get scratched, but still goes and annoys the cat, making it meow." Then he says, "The cat's little meow is very sweet, and he squeezes its belly, getting scratches on his arm." So you look at his wounds and feel very helpless. —This part of the description, in addition to making me feel your confusion about your boyfriend's unusual actions in teasing the cat, also reveals that you mentioned a very important word at the end of the entire description: the desire for control.

Once you realize this, the possible reason is almost obvious: he wants to strengthen his sense of control over certain things, which is a great thing!

Intimacy is all about mutual respect, and when people are tired, they might feel like they don't have as much control as they'd like. He's not trying to hurt your relationship to regain control, he's just letting the cat take the lead in regaining control. The cat scratches at the wounds he's received in the process, which is a great way for him to release his emotions!

So you see, in summary, his state of mind during the process of teasing the cat may be:

As the day winds down and you head home, you might find him going through a similar routine. He'll probably be feeling tired, longing to regain a sense of control, and eager to play with his feline friend. And who can blame him? Playing with cats is a great way to release pent-up energy and stress. But, as with anything in life, it's important to find a balance. So, as you adjust your mindset, you can also make adjustments to the degree of release for him. It's a win-win!

You are doing a great job of paying attention to his state!

I really hope this response will help you gain more inspiration in caring for him!

Take care of yourself! You've got this!

Hello, questioner!

You need to take control of the situation. When your boyfriend abuses the cat, how do you feel?

Are you disgusted? Are you angry?

Or are you gloating? Be aware of your emotions and what your emotional response is when your boyfriend abuses the cat.

Once you've sorted out your own emotions, we'll explore your boyfriend's behavior together. One thing is certain: your boyfriend's cat abuse is also a form of self-abuse. By pinching the cat's belly, he feels the warm and soft feeling, which connects to an anchor deep in his brain and produces pleasure. The wounds from the cat's claws intensify this pleasure.

If you enjoy the sensation of cat claws and the feeling of kneading a cat's belly, then your boyfriend enjoys the sound of a cat's meow. This behavior is his way of finding the feeling he lacked as a child in the cat.

He puts himself in that role and enjoys it two or three days a week. This is the same psychology that some adults like to use to make children cry. By attacking the child and the cat in this way, it stimulates the brain through auditory and skin sensations, increasing the secretion of dopamine and serotonin, which satisfies the body and achieves a kind of mental balance.

You can make a difference to your boyfriend's cat abuse. First, don't add your own emotions and feelings to this behavior.

The first step is to tolerate him and allow him to behave in this way. Next, increase physical contact with your boyfriend, such as hugging and petting.

Transfer your boyfriend's cat abuse to your intimate relationship. Make your intimate relationship stronger by doing something intimate or making a sentimental remark.

If you think it is necessary, you should go to counseling together. This will help your boyfriend become aware of his unconscious behavior, understand his own inner needs, and promote self-growth.

I am your guiding light. I love you, and I know what's best for you.

Hello, I am Wanshi Ruyi. I can see that you are confused, but I can also see that you are a very perceptive person! Your boyfriend knows that he will get scratched by the cat, but he deliberately angers the cat anyway. In your opinion, only people who want to control others would behave like this. But at the same time, you don't think he is a person with a strong desire to control. So you feel conflicted. You don't quite understand. You want to know what he is thinking. You care about and worry about your lover, and you are also puzzled by his behavior. I can fully understand how you feel, and I'm excited to help you!

There's this fascinating concept in psychology called projection. It basically means that how we view others reflects our inner selves. Let's take teasing a cat as an example. You think your boyfriend will get scratched if he teases a cat, and being scratched is hurtful to you.

If it were you, you probably wouldn't want to get scratched because you were teasing the cat. You think that if you don't tease the cat, you won't get scratched and won't get hurt. This is your inner view of the matter, and it's a great one!

Oh my goodness, your boyfriend was so sweet to pinch the cat's belly, even if it got scratched back! He's such a playful guy. I bet he did it out of some kind of desire for control, but then again, you don't think your boyfriend usually acts like someone who is full of desire for control. There's a contradiction in your analysis of him, so you don't understand. This is because you are looking at his actions from your own inner feelings and thoughts, rather than from his perspective.

✍️Your perception of his behavior is a projection. I see your boyfriend's explanation of this matter. He said that the cat's little baby voice is very sweet. Maybe for him, teasing the cat is a kind of enjoyment, not a kind of harm. Perhaps the two of you have different views on the same matter, which is totally normal!

As a married person, I've learned a lot about strengthening communication with my loved one. Based on my experience, I'm excited to suggest that the questioner communicate more with her boyfriend on a regular basis. This will be a great way to develop your relationship and build intimacy between you. Plus, more communication will enhance mutual understanding and acceptance between the two of you.

I highly recommend that the questioner express their feelings and needs more in their relationship with their boyfriend. It's so important to express your views on his behavior and always maintain a sense of curiosity and desire to explore his thoughts. Give your boyfriend a sense of inclusion and a sense of security, so that he feels comfortable and accepted in your relationship. An intimate relationship where the two of you can speak freely is the best love!

I highly recommend reading the book "Knowing How to Love – Growing in Intimacy." It's an excellent resource for understanding how to establish and maintain an intimate relationship and how to grow in a relationship.

If you feel that your boyfriend being scratched by the cat is a kind of harm, and you have reminded him, but he has not listened to you and continues to do this thing that will harm him in your opinion, what can you do? The answer is simple: care about his body and accept what he does! For example, if he is scratched by the cat again and has a wound, you can accompany him to get the rabies vaccine to prevent him from being infected with rabies, help him deal with the wound, care for him, warm him, make him feel included, understood and accepted, and he will see how good you are to him.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said, "Love is deep understanding and acceptance." And it's so true! The intimacy between two people needs to be maintained with care. The two of you should spend more time in the same space, communicate with each other honestly, always be curious to understand each other, and try to understand each other from the other person's perspective. Accept your own shortcomings and the shortcomings of the other person. Only in this way can you have a beautiful love. A love that knows each other is the ideal love.

I'm sure you'll get rid of the problem soon! Best of luck!

Hello, questioner!

It sounds like you're a bit confused because your boyfriend is inherently playful and gets scratched by cats, right?

Without knowing your boyfriend's character and his usual mode of interaction with others,

I'm excited to share the following explanations for this hobby and behavior alone:

First, from a worldly perspective, it is about having fun. And it is so much fun for him!

In terms of teasing a cat, it's a total turn-on! It arouses the cat's anger and aggression, activates its own points of interest, and he just loves it!

Second, from the perspective of psychoanalytic dynamics, this is a form of sadistic and masochistic behavior.

A fascinating state of combining sadism and masochism, in which submissive and aggressive attitudes coexist in social and sexual relationships with others.

This is accompanied by a strong destructive tendency, which is presumed to be a forceful energy investment.

Let me explain further on a symbolic level. This is about the unfolding and release of the sexual instinct, which is both an aggressive drive and

And there's a special kind of pleasure to be gained from being engulfed in an attack!

Erich Fromm offers a fascinating perspective on how both masochists and sadists lose their independence in human relationships.

To establish interpersonal relationships through dependence on others (passive or active dependence) in order to escape unbearable loneliness and separation.

So, to gain a deeper understanding of masochists and sadists, we've got to look at them together!

I am Counselor Yao, and I am here to support you and pay attention to you!

I am Counselor Yao, and I will continue to support and care for you!