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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, I am a heart exploration coach. I will be your companion on this journey with warmth and a sincere ear for your emotional story.
It seems that there are two main concerns that you have. The first is that your boyfriend lacks the motivation to take the initiative to do something. The second is that there is a big gap between you and your boyfriend, and you worry about your future and getting along.
?1. "The issue is not the issue itself, but rather how we approach it." Stress is not the core issue, but rather how we manage it is.
You may feel unmotivated to do things and feel powerless to change the gap between you and your boyfriend. This worry of yours could even affect your daily life and cause some anxiety.
This could be a sign of internal depletion, which can drain our energy. Given that human energy is limited, it's understandable that it can be challenging to find the mood and energy to do other important things.
It could be said that internal conflict arises when two internal forces are in opposition, or when there is a discrepancy between what a person's mind "should be" and the reality of what it "is".
?2. It could be said that internal depletion is a form of dissembling.
And concealing it could be a sign of uncertainty about one's own value. It may be the case that a person's value is seen to be established through external, material, and other people's affirmation, praise, and approval.
If these supports are removed, he may once again experience a sense of low self-worth. He may become sensitive and suspicious, and even have inferiority complexes.
One way to stop internal depletion is to focus on self-care and become more aware of your own patterns. It's important to distinguish between acknowledging your shortcomings and being content with the status quo.
You might consider starting with something simple that interests you the most, such as making a delicious breakfast (many platforms teach this), cleaning (organizing is also a science), or square dancing (you can make new friends and establish new circles).
Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider exploring other interests and activities in addition to your relationship with your boyfriend. This could help you to live a more fulfilling life while also allowing your boyfriend some independent space. It's possible that the reason you love each other is because you have so many differences and similarities.
Perhaps it would be beneficial to allow the two circles to expand and the intersection of the two circles to grow.
If you don't set off, how will you arrive? It might be helpful to consider that taking action can be a great motivator and form of self-discipline.
I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. I wish you well, and I love you ?
If you would like to continue communicating, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.
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Comments
I understand how you feel, and it's tough being in a longdistance relationship with such a significant age gap. It seems like he wants you to thrive independently, which is a great sentiment. Maybe we can find ways to motivate yourself that don't rely on supervision. Sometimes setting small, achievable goals for personal growth can help kickstart your motivation.
It's hard when you're feeling unmotivated and the person you usually draw strength from isn't around to support you directly. But this could be an opportunity to explore what truly drives you. Perhaps connecting with friends or joining a community with similar interests could provide the encouragement you need during his absence.
Feeling worried about the future is natural, especially in your situation. Love is indeed a powerful motivator, but selfmotivation is something that can be developed over time. Consider what aspects of yourself you'd like to improve and start with tiny steps. Even if it feels insignificant now, each step forward can build up your confidence and independence, making you stronger both as an individual and in your relationship.