Every time I talk to my boyfriend, why does he immediately hang up the video and go to sleep?

The questioner replied, "The present is good! Be grateful to have met."

From what you've told me, it's clear you're confused and angry about your boyfriend's behaviour. You tried to talk to him seriously and hoped he'd give you some advice, but he interrupted you and didn't participate at all.

This kind of behavior is a bit evasive and makes you feel uncomfortable.

You said he yelled at you, and I think that's probably why he doesn't want to talk to you. On one side is his mother, who raised him, and on the other side is his girlfriend. He's caught in the middle and can't decide whose side to take.

He's not sure who to help or how to help, so he just makes excuses to interrupt and leave the room.

His behavior also shows his attitude. He doesn't want to fall out with your mother because of you. He's got limited resources and doesn't know how to handle the situation wisely. Think carefully about your future.

If you want to move forward, I suggest you brush up on family education and communication methods for managing intimacy. Otherwise, this will only make things more difficult after marriage.

You can either talk to his mother directly or have a formal face-to-face discussion with him. Either way, you'll need to communicate effectively. If you just get emotional, you won't get the result you want. The point of communication is to understand the other person's perspective, and with a response like his, you'll need to communicate more effectively.

Otherwise, we'll just get the same old results.

His mother has had a tough time raising the two of you on her own, and he knows how hard she's worked. So if you fall out with his mother, he'll naturally feel bad being caught in the middle. You might want to brush up on some psychology or communication skills before talking about this matter.

As for whether he's a mama's boy, that's not how it's defined here.

I don't think he avoids talking to you about everything. If he does, you might want to think about the relationship between you. If it's just about his mother scolding you, you might want to think about how to resolve this matter.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best!

Hello, I'm here for you if you'd like a 360-degree hug.

From what you have described, it seems that initially,

I believe that this is something that should be discussed between the two of you.

I may have misunderstood, but it seemed like you were going to talk about a different issue every time, but you said at the end

The issue seems to be that his mother is expressing her frustration in a way that is not conducive to a positive interaction.

In summary, it seems that whenever the topic is brought up, your boyfriend's mother offers a scolding response, and he then disconnects the video call and retires for the night. PS: I'm genuinely interested to know more. If you were to send him a video chat about this during the day on the weekend when you're not working, would he also indicate that he's going to bed?

It's possible that he's unsure of how to respond to you.

I concede that complaining to a man about his mother is a challenging proposition. He may choose to avoid the subject, disengage, or take his time in responding. In the event that he does engage, he may attempt to defuse the situation by offering a conciliatory remark, such as, "My mother is like that; she doesn't intend any harm, she's just getting old, you should give her a little leeway, or we should give her a little leeway, etc."

In any case, it is likely that women will not be pleased with your response, and that they will perceive your words as indicating that men are aligned with their mothers. As you mentioned, this could be perceived as a "mama's boy."

For men, it can be challenging to deny their parents, which can feel like denying a part of themselves. Even if they have strong opinions about their parents, those are their own opinions and no one else can say anything about them. It's like this: we can express negative feelings towards our alma mater, but if someone else does, I don't agree with it anyway, so why are you expressing negative feelings towards my alma mater?

Given the sensitive nature of the question and your support, he may feel that he is being disloyal to his parents, which could lead to internal conflict. If he chooses to side with his parents, you may feel unhappy and argue with him. One option is to avoid the topic, refrain from discussing it, and allow time to pass.

It is possible that discussing this topic before or after marriage may have a similar effect.

It would be helpful to know whether your boyfriend has similar tendencies in other areas. Many men find that their parents are a sensitive subject, and it might be worth exploring whether this is the case for him.

Perhaps it would be best not to confront him. Given that he comes from a single-parent family, it might be even more challenging for him to deny his mother.

I'm afraid I don't have a solution for you. I can only suggest that you consider the following in order to gain a different perspective on your boyfriend's avoidance.

Otherwise, it may be challenging to identify a solution. It's important to acknowledge that conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law can contribute to marital difficulties.

This is a challenge that even the most experienced counselor may find difficult to resolve.

You might consider talking to a counselor to see how you can communicate better with your boyfriend so that he doesn't avoid the problem and face it head-on.

I am a counselor who tends to see the glass as half-empty, but I also have moments of optimism. I love the world and I love you.

Good day.

Please consider the following:

If he were to discuss his mother's disciplinary actions with you in a manner similar to how you conveyed the information to him, how would you respond?

If you decide to avoid, not respond, and not address the issue in the same manner as he has, what are your thoughts on the matter?

Raising two boys as a single mother is a challenging endeavor. If he is a typical young man, he will recognize the difficulties his mother faces.

It is not possible to change one's mother, but it is possible to change one's girlfriend.

It is important to remember that blood is thicker than water. As his current girlfriend, it is crucial to consider your expectations and communicate them effectively. If you were to tell him that his mother was scolding you, what would be your innermost wish? What would you want him to say to you?

Please describe your desired outcome.

It would be beneficial to express your expectations directly to him, rather than simply presenting the problem to him. It is possible that he may not be aware of how to satisfy all parties involved.

One potential issue is that our expectations are not aligned.

His lack of response after listening is causing you frustration.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider modifying your communication style and explicitly stating your desired outcome in a way that is clear and achievable.

The ease of communication in a relationship has a significant impact on the overall mood.

It would be beneficial to devote more attention to observation and to carefully consider the fundamental issues in the relationship.

It is important to avoid casual labeling of individuals in a relationship. Additionally, it is essential to express needs and strive to comprehend the perspectives of one's partner.

I would like to extend my warmest regards to you and your loved ones.

I am Gu Yi. I am modest and self-effacing, and I adhere to a consistent set of principles.

It is advisable to refrain from discussing the underlying cause of the issue.

From the description provided, it is evident that you have been spending time together for approximately one year, during which you were introduced to each other. Therefore, it can be assumed that there is already a certain level of understanding between you. With regard to the specific topics you wish to discuss on each occasion, it would be helpful to ascertain whether your partner avoids talking about them, whether he avoids talking about only his mother's issues, or whether he avoids talking about all issues.

The root cause of the problem can be identified and subsequently addressed, which may prove beneficial to you. It would be irresponsible to categorize an individual who listens to his mother as a "mama's boy." The father passed away when the individual was in junior high school, a period during which he was undergoing significant maturation. The mother raised two children on her own, and it is reasonable to assume that the children exhibited a degree of independence.

It seems plausible to suggest that you do, in fact, have an answer in your heart. Otherwise, after being repeatedly hung up on, you would have reached the conclusion that breaking up is the best course of action, given the inability to discuss matters or communicate effectively. Instead, it appears that your primary concern is the lack of a suitable outlet for expressing your feelings once you are married. This suggests that there are potential avenues for improvement in our communication strategies.

The primary concern for men in this context is the potential for conflict between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

In this regard, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not get along sincerely and amicably, regardless of the man's capabilities, he will perceive a lack of balance in his obligations, having to care for both his mother and his wife, with whom he will spend the rest of his life. Regardless of the decision made, it will ultimately lead to personal disappointment and an inability to identify the optimal path.

The avoidance of the issue by your boyfriend can be interpreted as an intentional evasion of the questions posed. Alternatively, it may be the case that he lacks the requisite knowledge to provide a solution. The mere possession of knowledge does not guarantee the ability to apply it effectively. Consequently, his decision to appease you and make promises is not an act of irresponsibility. It is, rather, a means of avoiding a potentially explosive conflict.

It is beneficial to encounter such problems in a relationship because it allows one to assess their ability to adapt. When a decision is made based on one's inner conviction, it is also a reflection of personal responsibility. Furthermore, the option to alter one's approach and communication style at the appropriate time is available, which may result in a different outcome.

I wish you the best.

Good morning, my name is Strawberry.

Based on my observations of the author's disclosures and challenges, I have generally been able to maintain a positive relationship with my boyfriend. Through this process, I have gained insight into his genuine character and discovered that he is a kind and amiable individual.

The issue currently being addressed is the difficulty in communicating with my boyfriend. His lack of response has made it challenging for the questioner to understand his intentions. The underlying challenge is the perception of rudeness from my boyfriend's mother towards the questioner.

Please clarify whether there has been a misunderstanding.

The questioner stated that her boyfriend's mother was discourteous towards her. Could you please describe the situation in detail? What was her tone like?

What are her facial expressions like? What are her verbal expressions like?

Given that the OP indicated that her boyfriend comes from a single-parent family and that his mother raised him and his brother, it is understandable that raising two children on one's own is challenging. It is possible that the difficulties she has experienced in life have led to her current demeanor. Is she consistently abrupt when interacting with others? It is possible that she is unaware of the impact her behavior has on the OP.

The questioner should reflect on this situation and attempt to improve her relationship with her boyfriend's mother. If she is a resilient individual, she may find it challenging to reconcile with this elder.

Attitude toward Problem Solving

Regardless of whether there is a misunderstanding between the questioner and her boyfriend's mother, the boyfriend's evasive attitude indicates that he is unable or unwilling to resolve conflicts between his lover and his mother. He did not offer any support to either party. This suggests that he may have a personality trait that makes it challenging for him to navigate social issues between people.

Given the current state of your relationship and your boyfriend's evasive attitude, it is important to consider the potential challenges you may face in the future, particularly if you decide to enter into married life together. Even if there are conflicts, you will have to address them independently.

As a result of this incident, the questioner gained further insight into her boyfriend's background. Having lacked his father's companionship since childhood, he has developed a tendency to avoid confronting challenges, preferring to escape or rebel against them. His mother, who has raised him with great hardship and relies on him for survival, is also a significant influence.

Please describe the nature of the relationship between the boyfriend and his mother.

It would be inaccurate to conclude from this incident that the questioner's boyfriend is a mama's boy. However, his personality does suggest that he may lack his own opinions. The way you usually spend time together raises questions about whether the questioner feels that he is acceptable according to her own standards.

The boyfriend also has an older brother. Please clarify whether he lives with his family after getting married or if he lives in his own small family. If the question asker is comfortable with the idea of being alone with her boyfriend, then as long as his mother does not interfere in their affairs in the future, the question asker and her boyfriend will still be able to find a way of getting along that suits them.

In the interim, the questioner can also acquire knowledge about intimate relationship management with her boyfriend. This will enable the two of them to promptly identify and address each other's issues, confront them head-on, and resolve them collaboratively, thereby maintaining and enhancing the relationship.

"It turns out that understanding is more important than love" and "Intimate relationship management" are recommended to the questioner. No individual is without flaws, and many people face challenges to varying degrees due to the influence of their original family. Some issues can be addressed if one is willing to take the initiative to improve. The boyfriend may require the questioner's support as he navigates his growth journey. If he is a suitable partner, then it would be beneficial to extend patience and understanding.

I hope my response is helpful to the original poster. Best regards.

Hello!

After reading the original poster's description, it seems like every time they encounter a problem, the boyfriend puts his feelings inside a "wall," which makes the original poster feel very powerless and anxious. It's so hard when you send messages and don't get a personal response! It can really make you feel confused.

It's so frustrating! Every time I talk about problems with my boyfriend, the other person just "closes up" and stops talking. I'd love to know why this happens!

No matter what I say, he just hangs up on me and says he's going to bed. I wish he'd stay and chat, but I get the feeling he'd rather not.

This has made things unsolvable, and that's okay! They will never be solved, but that's okay too.

I thought about this question from time to time and mentioned it to him from time to time, but every time he would just shut up and go to sleep. I'm just curious why he is like this, you know?

In terms of scenario analysis, the questioner and her boyfriend encountered some communication barriers during a video call. The questioner believes that this is due to the "defensive" role established by the other party. We all know that our communication requires the participation of both parties and an open and honest exchange of ideas in order to truly achieve the purpose of communication. Otherwise, our communication is actually missing information and is just a one-way transmission of information, which makes it impossible to accurately understand the other person's thoughts and demands.

He comes from a single-parent family. His father left when he was in junior high school, leaving his mother, his brother, and him behind. His brother has already started a family.

We chatted about how my mom can be a bit tough on me sometimes. Do you think that makes him a mama's boy?

It's clear that the boyfriend's family background will affect how he sees and acts in intimate relationships. Since his dad left when he was young, it's likely that he'll always look to his mom for protection. If she's a strong emotional presence in his life, it's likely that her feelings and attitudes will affect his intimate relationships. After all, he'll want to make sure she's happy and safe, and he'll try his best to avoid hurting her feelings.

So, when you put the two points together, it's not hard to see that the boyfriend is holding back in communication. This is probably because he's struggling with some issues in his intimate relationship and also with how he communicates with his mum. At 30, can he give the emotional support and sense of security that the questioner needs? This is something you can only really answer after you've had a good chat with your boyfriend and really understand what he's thinking.

How can we get out of this rut and get back on track?

1. Try to create a harmonious communication space and see if you can understand the other person's true thoughts.

The questioner mentioned that the boyfriend tends to avoid problems, which is totally understandable! But avoiding problems all the time won't lead to a healthy intimate relationship. We still need to resolve our inner pressure by talking to each other. To this end, the questioner can try their best to create a harmonious communication space, a space that reduces the other person's inner pressure, to have a sincere exchange with the other person, so as to understand their true thoughts. In the process, we should avoid preconceived ideas and jumping to conclusions. It is often more effective to listen first and express later.

2. It's so important to allow the other person to have a different voice and to be aware of your own emotions.

If we say that women are more likely to focus on emotions in communication, it's also true that men are more likely to focus on results. So, if we can't learn to listen, understand, and accommodate each other in our communication, even a harmless conversation can become a battlefield.

For example, when a girl expresses her needs, she might say something like, "I'm in a really bad mood today, can't you just say something comforting?" Other guys' boyfriends will comfort their girlfriends.

However, the boy might misunderstand this as, "Since you think someone else's boyfriend is better, go find someone else," and express his dissatisfaction.

If we can all try to keep our emotions in check when we're communicating, and work on our listening and empathy skills, we can avoid conflicts and differences in perception caused by emotional swings.

When it comes to communication tools, it's always best to choose face-to-face if you can. Video calls are great, but they can sometimes feel a bit too easy to escape from. This can make it harder to face problems head-on and really improve the quality of communication.

It's so important to listen to each other and try to understand where the other person is coming from. That way, we can come to a better agreement and solve any problems caused by external factors.

I'm sending you lots of good luck and encouragement to keep up the great work!

Hi there, I'm Annie.

I got your question, and from what you wrote, it seems like when we sincerely invite someone to communicate, they're rejected, like a bucket of cold water being poured on a burning heart. It's frustrating and helpless, and it hurts the emotional sufferer.

The original poster said, "Every time I think this is something that needs to be resolved through communication between the two of us, after I've finished speaking, my boyfriend will say, 'I'm going to bed, no more chatting,' and then he'll hang up on me."

When you really need a solution to a problem and want to hear the other person's opinion but don't get any feedback, it's like assuming that we really need help from our best friend, but after hearing what we have to say, she says, "Sorry, I have something else to do later, I have to go!" Even though we didn't hear her say "no help," we can still tell from her tone that she's not going to help and that she's trying to say, "You have to take responsibility for this yourself."

Our best friend isn't helping us. There's nothing wrong with our reasons, and there's nothing to blame the boyfriend of the original poster for hanging up on you. It's understandable if the other person only reacts like this once, but if it happens every time and their attitude changes at a certain point, we should think about it again and consider the underlying motives.

Regarding the questioner's boyfriend's practice of hanging up on WeChat video calls, I have a few thoughts: first, there was too much content being discussed, more than one person could focus on; second, he didn't know how to solve the problem and felt troubled, so he simply hit the pause button; third, he doesn't like conflict, so he avoids things that lead to conflict.

So, based on the above three points, I've put together a few suggestions for the questioner's consideration:

First, get to the point and wrap up what's important in three minutes.

We all know that people often want to be the center of attention when they're having a conversation. So it's easy to ramble on and on when we're in a bad mood or have something we want to share. This is what happened with the guest speech at the beginning of the ceremony. If someone gives an overly long speech, people will start to yawn. This makes it difficult to focus and impossible to leave. By the time the audience hears the end, they may have forgotten what the guest said in the first place. So it's best to keep important things short unless they're of considerable interest to the other person.

In short, don't go on and on with long-winded explanations. Instead, focus on the main points. Start by asking the question and highlighting the key points. The whole story should be told in less than three minutes, because after that time frame people's attention will begin to wander and you won't be able to communicate effectively.

Second, maybe the other person just doesn't know how to answer. Try asking the question from a different perspective.

I'm not sure if the questioner has noticed that when people discuss other people's affairs, they can be very relaxed, but if it comes to their own affairs, they are often not as honest. This is because people are much more curious about others than about themselves. They care more about what other people are thinking than about their own thoughts. Or they are wary of others, and can only think rationally when they are not involved.

If the questioner feels that their boyfriend is reluctant to answer when they ask for his opinion, they could try asking in a different way, not directly but obliquely.

For instance, you could put yourself in the other person's shoes by asking them questions, watch a video together that presents a similar perspective, and then ask questions. Or, you could ask them, "If it were you, what would you do?" from the perspective of a bystander, which might make it easier for them to answer.

Third, it's not about right or wrong, but about how to achieve a win-win situation.

When you're in love, you're still getting to know your partner. It's normal to meet people who think and act differently from us. We all come from different families and have different upbringings, so we have different ways of dealing with things.

Someone once said, "There are no perfect people, only suitable people." It's like some people are very funny but not very patient, and some people are very family-oriented but not very driven.

So while there are some advantages to personality, there are also some disadvantages. It all depends on how you look at it.

We can understand, but it's best not to try to label the other person or dictate what they should do. If you still have the energy, try to guide them in a direction that's acceptable to both of you. For example, is there any way to achieve a win-win situation, rather than a situation where one party will eventually lose?

The questioner can keep an eye on her boyfriend's attitude when he's facing a problem. Is he avoiding it because he's afraid of conflict? If you're thinking about getting married in the future, you might have to make an effort to adapt to your partner's family.

Good communication is about more than just speaking. It's also about listening to what the other person is saying, understanding what they mean, and getting on the same page. This is more important than determining whether something is right or wrong.

I hope we can all benefit from the warmth and support of others through communication.

Wishing you the best. One Psychology and I Love You.

Hello, questioner!

From your description, it's clear that your boyfriend is someone who is unwilling to solve problems and likes to avoid them. This is something we can work on together! Such a person is afraid to take responsibility for their own choices and cannot be responsible for you either. Therefore, his ability to solve problems is also lacking. The idea of avoiding unresolved problems is that he does not want to communicate with you about it. In fact, I have also behaved in this way before, so I can also understand that such a person also has a fear of dealing with problems and a fear of conflicts. This is something we can overcome together!

You can also see that your boyfriend's mother has verbally attacked you. This is a great opportunity for you to decide whether you want to be with someone who is not independent or has no thoughts of his own. If you want to be with someone who is responsible and takes care of you, you can decide to end the relationship.

Now, let's dive in and see how we can solve it!

[1] You can choose to communicate with him face-to-face, which I think is a great idea! It's better than talking on video because you can see each other's expressions and body language, which helps you understand the meaning and thoughts behind each other's words. Plus, you can face each other directly to see each other's attitude and emotions, which is really cool!

[2] Effective and direct communication is key to any relationship! When we communicate effectively, we avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and really understand each other. To stimulate the other person's desire to communicate with you, you need to communicate directly, transparently, and effectively. Of course, the other person must be willing to communicate, but when they do, it's a wonderful feeling!

[3] If your boyfriend doesn't want to communicate with you, it's time to rethink your relationship! In all relationships, we need to face things rationally. Only when problems are solved will we not create more conflicts. You can also express these thoughts to your boyfriend. If you always avoid them, you might end up creating more problems, and in the end, the relationship will also be affected.

[4] Have your own opinions and thoughts! As women, we may sometimes feel constrained by others' opinions, but it's so important to have our own thoughts, be firm in our principles and bottom lines, not be influenced by the other person, and never compromise. A compromise may not be something to cherish in the end, so it's vital to stand firm in your beliefs!

[5] You can see the model of his original family in his mother's behavior, and you'll see that this is how you'll get along with his family in the future! The influence of the original family on us is actually very important. We can see a lot from the way parents get along with their children. You can observe the attitude, behavior, emotions, thoughts, etc., of his mother towards him and towards you, which can reflect how your life will be like in the future—and it's going to be great!

[6] And think about how you'll tackle these problems when you get along with them in the future. If you don't want to face them, we can also give up this relationship completely. Of course, I don't want to break you up, but I also hope that you can make rational judgments, be an independent person, make the choices you want, and live the life you want!

In the end, everyone is independent. If your boyfriend cannot be independent and is too involved with his family of origin, it will also have a negative impact on your relationship. But don't worry! It's also important to find a partner who is independent, thoughtful, and assertive. If the other person is not independent, or is not a decisive person and does not have their own thinking ability, it is also the right choice to leave.

I'm so excited to share these personal opinions with you! I really hope they're helpful.