Feel affectionate towards you, but some of your behaviors make you uncomfortable and awkward. What should I do with such a strained relationship?

Hello! I can really feel your confusion and struggle in dealing with these relationships through your words.

From what you've told me, I can tell that you're going through a rough patch with these relationships.

First, let's talk about your relationship with your mother. It sounds like your real mother finally stopped "bothering" you during the Chinese New Year holiday this year, but you feel like you did something wrong. I can imagine you're surprised by your mother's change, but I know you're also feeling nervous and uneasy about it.

1. You may have noticed that your venting has had an effect on your mother, causing her to change her behavior. This realization may have made you feel a little guilty, like you might have hurt your mother.

2. It's totally normal to feel uncertain about your mom's true feelings and motives when she changes like this. It can make you feel a little uneasy, I get it!

3. Your mom's new behavior might mean that things have changed in your relationship. It can be hard to know how to respond in these situations!

The second thing is really confusing and upsetting, and it's totally normal to feel this way! Trust once broken can take a long time to rebuild, so don't be too hard on yourself.

And he might not realize how his words affect you, or, to put it another way, he might not understand how you feel.

"Even if I talk about it, the other person doesn't take it seriously, but instead it seems like I'm the one who did something wrong." As you said, he doesn't really understand you, sweetie.

I've got a few suggestions for you, based on what you've told me.

1. Give yourself some space: If you feel like you can't trust him anymore, it might be a good idea to give yourself some space. This can help you feel safe and avoid getting hurt.

2. Keep the lines of communication open. If you feel there's room for improvement, try talking to him again. Be open and honest about your feelings and opinions. Let him know why you're bothered, and see if he's willing to listen and change.

3. You're doing great! Don't blame yourself for his reaction. You have every right to protect your feelings, and you've already taken action to resolve the problem.

Most importantly, trust your gut! If someone's behavior makes you feel uncomfortable or untrustworthy, it may be a sign to protect yourself.

At the same time, give yourself some space to work through these issues. It's okay to let go of the past and focus on building good relationships with people who truly respect and understand you.

I'd like to suggest two books that I think you'll find really helpful if you're looking to improve your communication skills and build better relationships.

Let me tell you about a wonderful communication method discovered by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. It's all about talking and listening in a way that brings people together in an affectionate and harmonious way.

If you're looking to brush up on your communication skills, I highly recommend checking out "The Art of Communication." It's a fantastic book that teaches you how to communicate more effectively with others and improve your interpersonal skills. It's full of engaging examples and practical techniques that you can easily apply in your daily life. I promise you'll find it an invaluable resource!

This is where knowledge and action come together, and I truly hope that we can enjoy many happy moments together for the rest of our lives.

Dear questioner, I am Duo Duo Lian. I am here to support you.

After reading your description of the two experiences, which are somewhat similar, you were able to express your views with bravery. When the other person changed, you seemed a bit uncomfortable, which is also quite normal. People like to stay in their comfort zone and have senses.

There is telepathy in interpersonal interactions. You can't fool someone online who is fishing for a date. If you express your feelings directly, the other person will not have a deep relationship with you either. They will apologize on the surface, but inwardly they will have thoughts just like you. Both will lose the sense of trust.

People will protect themselves. It's only natural. If you feel uncomfortable, express it. You'll feel much better. If you suppress it for a long time, it will do a lot of harm to yourself. Expressing it also requires wisdom. Human nature is to want to be seen and appreciated.

A relationship is not just about words; it's also about energy. You can't be perfect, and you'll make mistakes. You have to allow yourself to be yourself, and you have to allow others to be themselves.

You know you have to love your mother, that she's not easy, that you can't do it, that after expressing it, she's changed, and you're uncomfortable with this feeling, which is unfamiliar. You feel unworthy and attack yourself, feeling that you've let her down.

Building relationships requires mutual trust and spending time together over the long term. Everyone has different life experiences, and they're only right within their own perception and from their own standpoint.

We hurt others without realizing it. We have a sharp tongue but a soft heart. Many people don't understand this. Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes. By allowing ourselves, we can allow others.

Denial of the past is a trap. So is allowing others to control you. Be yourself. Be aware of yourself. Reflect on yourself. And be brave. Be yourself.

Best wishes!

My dear friend, I can sense your confusion and internal struggle. It is often challenging for us to express our feelings directly when faced with the behavior of someone close to us, even if it makes us feel uncomfortable or hurt. This is often because we are afraid of conflict or worry about hurting the other person.

This silent distancing may be a form of self-protection, but it can also lead to feelings of guilt and confusion.

Communication is essential for a healthy relationship. However, it can sometimes be challenging, particularly when we need to express our dissatisfaction or hurt.

The situation you mentioned is related to attachment theory, which suggests that early relationships with our mothers can influence our adult relationships. If you were separated from your mother as a child, this could potentially have affected your expectations and reactions to intimate relationships.

First, let's talk about your mother. Family relationships are complex and delicate, especially when reconnecting with loved ones with whom you have not lived together for a long time.

You feel justified in your feelings and expect understanding and support from your mother. It is only natural that you feel disappointed and hurt when this feeling is not met. You choose to share your feelings with your sister as a way of seeking understanding and support.

It's possible that your mother's change may be driven by her concern for you and her desire to repair the relationship. However, it's important to remember that this doesn't necessarily mean that you've done anything wrong. Communication is a two-way process, and it may require time and patience to understand and adapt to each other's feelings and expectations.

Regarding the boy you met online, it is important to remember that trust is built on mutual respect and understanding. You did a great job of expressing your feelings when his behavior made you feel uncomfortable.

His reaction may indicate that he has not fully understood your feelings, or that he is still learning how to deal with the situation better. It is important to remember that your feelings are reasonable, and you do not need to feel guilty about them.

It is a very complex and painful feeling to be hurt by the actions of someone close to us, especially someone we expect to understand and support us. You have taken the courageous step of expressing your feelings, which is admirable.

It might be helpful to try to understand your feelings and needs. When you feel hurt, it could be worthwhile to ask yourself what your heart is telling you.

Could I ask what your needs are?

When dealing with these kinds of relationships, it is important to recognize that your feelings are valid, that you have the right to express them, and to seek an environment where you feel comfortable and respected. You might find it helpful to learn effective communication techniques such as the "I" statements (e.g., "I feel...when you..."). This can help you express your feelings without blaming the other person.

If you find yourself in a similar situation again, you might like to consider expressing your feelings directly and gently to the other person, so that they are aware of how their actions have affected you.

If you are experiencing difficulty in dealing with these emotions, you may wish to consider sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. This can be a helpful way to gain a deeper understanding of your feelings. Bravely facing your feelings and seeking the support you need is an important step towards healthier and more satisfying relationships.

Every effort should be acknowledged, and every ounce of effort should be respected. Feedback, attention, and praise are not only forms of recognition, but also incentives.

This kind of feedback can be seen as a source of motivation, encouraging us to pursue excellence and create more value.

We suggest reading "Nonviolent Communication" as a helpful resource.

Hello! It's so important to feel heard and understood in a relationship. When you feel that your partner's behavior is hurting you or crossing your boundaries, I think it's a great idea to express this directly or indirectly and let the other person know how you feel.

You did great! You stood up for yourself and your needs, even though you felt a little uneasy at first. It's so important to defend your real needs in a relationship.

In real life, human nature is often diverse and complex, and that's a wonderful thing! Everyone has their own values, attitudes, and expectations when it comes to relationships and emotions. And it always takes time for people to get to know each other, including dealing with differences and conflicts.

You were separated from your mother when you were very young, so you may not have a lot of mutual understanding. You may want to be close to her and take care of her feelings, but at the same time you may have expectations of her and want her to understand your need for care. After you have taken care of your own needs and indirectly given her advice, you may be worried that this has not taken her feelings into account and you may feel a little uneasy. But don't worry! This is an opportunity for you to learn and grow.

You communicated with the boy because his behavior made you feel like you were being "caught," and it made you uncomfortable. But you also saw that it didn't match your expectations for the relationship, and that's great! From his response, you can see that he saw and respected your attitude, so he explained and apologized.

The subsequent estrangement may be due to the fact that he feels there is a difference in expectations between you, and he is not confident that he can bridge the gap. Or he may feel guilty about his previous actions, which touches on some personal issues, so he chooses to avoid them. But in any case, the development and maintenance of a relationship requires not only empathy, but also a match in many areas, such as the goals of the relationship, the willingness to deal with conflicts and overcome difficulties, and respect for each other's boundaries. These are all things that can be worked on and improved upon!

It's so important to express your needs honestly in a relationship! And of course, you can try different ways of expressing yourself to see what kind of communication leads to better understanding.

For example, you can try to express your needs to your mother: "I understand that you are doing this because... But I also hope that you will let me make my own decisions. If I need your advice, I will come and ask. What do you think?"

It doesn't matter how you communicate, the development of the relationship is something you can both work on together! Don't worry about the outcome, just focus on being sincere, respectful, and listening to each other.

Hello. I can see you're confused about your relationships. Your mom stopped contacting you during the holidays, and the guy you chatted with stopped chatting. This has left you confused.

Have you ever been in a situation where your partner was affectionate but you felt uncomfortable or hurt?

But you don't say it, you just ignore the other person. We've all been in this situation many times. I've been there too. Some people have this attitude towards me too.

I think it was because I was unsure if the other person liked me, so I was afraid to express myself.

It's hard to change once we're used to this way of getting along. He's already apologized, so there's no need to dwell on it.

If you encounter a similar situation, say no and set boundaries.

Often, we hide our feelings because we're afraid of hurting the other person or because we think they won't accept them. But a good relationship is comfortable for both people. If we don't express our feelings, we can't build a good relationship. Everyone has different needs. If we only think about our own feelings or only think about the other person's feelings, it will make the relationship worse.

Treat each other sincerely and with respect. The relationship will get better.

Best wishes!

Dealing with and viewing such situations requires a certain amount of strategy and psychological adjustment. The key is to make sure you're taking care of yourself while trying to improve the relationship – if that is what you want. Here are some suggestions that might help.

1. Be open and honest about how you're feeling.

When you feel hurt or uncomfortable, it's so important to communicate your feelings as clearly and directly as possible. Use the expression "I feel..." to avoid blaming the other person and instead emphasize the impact the behavior has on you.

2. Set those boundaries!

It's so important to set clear boundaries to protect yourself. If certain behaviors make you feel uncomfortable, you need to tell the other person what your boundaries are and stick to them.

3. Adjust expectations

Sometimes, we may have high expectations of others' reactions and changes. It's okay to have these expectations! We just need to understand and accept that everyone has their own patterns of behavior and limitations. Some people may never be able to fully meet our expectations, and that's okay too!

4. Self-care

When you feel hurt or alienated, it's important to focus on yourself and take care of your emotional well-being. Try to engage in activities that are meaningful to you and spend time with friends and family who support you.

5. Look for ways to understand and forgive.

It's always a good idea to try to understand the possible motives behind the other person's behavior, even if this doesn't mean that you have to accept or forgive their actions. Sometimes knowing the reason behind it can really help you let go.

6. Invest selectively

It's so important to know what relationships are worth your precious time and emotional investment. If you find yourself repeatedly getting hurt in a relationship, it might be time to consider whether you need to re-evaluate the place of that relationship in your life.

7. Professional help

If you're having a tough time dealing with these emotions or relationship problems, it's totally okay to reach out for help. There are lots of amazing mental health professionals out there who can support you.

Now, let's talk about ways you can avoid similar situations in the future.

It's so important to learn how to express your feelings and needs more effectively.

It's so important to set boundaries early in a relationship.

Listen to your heart! If certain behaviors make you feel uncomfortable, don't ignore that feeling.

It's okay to feel hurt. You don't need to justify or over-interpret your feelings.

It's so important to remember that your feelings are valid. It's also really important to protect your emotional health. We all need to find balance and harmony in our relationships, and it's so important to make sure that this process is healthy and beneficial for you.