Feeling increasingly exhausted, how not to be bound and coerced by one's moral sense?

It is a source of considerable frustration to observe the numerous constraints that weigh heavily upon the heart. It appears that one's life and certain aspects of one's personal conduct have become ensnared by external forces. The sensation of being weighed down and unable to move is a source of considerable frustration, particularly when one feels bound by the constraints of the heart.

The individual experiences an increase in fatigue, a decline in happiness, and a desire to assist others, yet neglects their own well-being. This approach can be likened to placing the cart before the horse. It is possible that some teachings may require periodic revision. The individual may wish to consult with their spiritual leader on this matter.

One may feel compelled to adhere to a strict moral code and refrain from any transgression. However, it is important to recognize that human nature is inherently imperfect. Often, individuals possess only rudimentary moral instincts, and it is only through education that they can develop a more nuanced understanding of right and wrong.

Furthermore, you have been subjected to verbal abuse and annoyance by other individuals, yet you are reluctant to terminate the communication, allowing yourself to be persistently tormented by the other person. This psychological state is detrimental to your well-being. You are fearful of making mistakes, yet it is imperative to recognize that everyone is prone to errors in judgment.

You have your own responsibilities, yet you also wish to assist others. It seems as though you are the first to concern yourself with the world's concerns and the last to experience its pleasures. Prioritizing others over your own needs can lead to a depletion of your own happiness. You also have your own path in life, and your own contentment to pursue. You may wish to consider whether there is room for improvement in your personal beliefs. I wish you well.

Please clarify the question.

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post, I could really feel the conflict and contradiction in the poster's heart from the content. On the one hand, there are moral teachings, and on the other hand, there are the real feelings in his heart. At this time, the poor poster doesn't know how to make a choice. Is that right?

I also want to say that I admire how brave the poster is for expressing his distress and actively seeking help. I'm sure this will help him to understand and recognize himself better, so that he can adjust and encounter a better self.

I'd like to share some thoughts and observations from the post that I hope will help you gain a broader perspective on yourself.

1. Being tired may be a choice.

After reading the original poster's post, I was reminded of something the famous psychologist Wu Zhihong said: "The reason we can't let go of some habits and things is because they bring us benefits." I really agree with this!

We all want to avoid harm and seek gain, so it's totally understandable that you're feeling tired. It's probably just an unconscious choice you've made.

You've chosen the way of life that you think is best for you, and I get it.

So, let's take a look at what benefits we get from paying like this and being morally kidnapped. Taking care of your younger brother and accommodating your mother, even though you feel a little uncomfortable, you are still a great sister and daughter in other people's eyes!

Going to church every week, preaching the gospel, following the teachings, etc. Does this make you a devout believer in the eyes of others? I'm sure it does!

So, there are good things to be gained from these actions we take. Even though the host is feeling very tired, has she chosen to ignore her heart's true voice and choose a benefit that is more important to her? This is something the host needs to think about.

This will help the host understand and get to know themselves better, which is really important!

2. Pay more attention to that little voice inside of you!

In the post, the poster mentioned that he is getting tired more and more these days. I think it's also this tiredness that has made the poster reflect more, which is great because it means he's thinking about whether his previous actions were reasonable! So, be grateful for your tiredness, because it has given you a chance to understand and grow.

I think the host has also noticed that he is getting tired more and more, and that he is able to take care of others and bring them the gospel less and less. We can't give others what we don't have, so it's important to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others.

I think the reason God went on a mission was not because of other people, but because his heart was full of love. So when our own hearts are very lacking in love, it can be tough to know what to give to others.

Taking care of yourself is a great way to give yourself more energy and vitality to take care of others. So how do you take care of yourself?

Listen to your heart more, take care of your own needs, and put your own needs before the needs of others. This is not selfishness, but rather enriching yourself so that you can better bring these experiences and feelings of happiness to others.

3. And last but not least, learn and grow!

It's great that the original poster can ask questions and seek help on the platform. It shows he's aware that it's difficult to solve this problem with his current understanding. Of course, it's not realistic to think that just by asking questions, all these problems will be solved.

So, the best thing you can do is to improve yourself, learn, increase your knowledge, and improve your thinking.

You've got to use higher dimensions to combat lower dimensions to solve problems. So, it's really important that we learn and improve!

The content of the study can be psychology or philosophy, and I really think you'll find these can all help us a lot. Of course, if you have the means, you can also go to a professional counselor.

I really hope this helps and inspires the original poster. I'm Zeng Chen, a coach on the Yi Xinli platform.

If you have any questions, just click to find a coach. You can find me, and together we can face our problems and grow together. I'm here to help!

Hello, questioner.

The methods we have learned to deal with people and things may not fully align with our deepest aspirations, leading to a sense of internal conflict and a feeling of being "tired" of living. How can we free ourselves from the constraints of morality? Let's explore this together.

After reading the details of the questioner's life, I can relate to their feelings. Many times, we find ourselves doing things that we are not free to do. Our education since childhood has taught us how to care for others, but there is a lack of guidance on listening to our hearts and taking care of our own feelings.

Psychology places greater emphasis on the individual's needs, and it has not been widely utilized in China, nor has it had a significant impact.

It can be challenging to alter the moral standards imposed upon us by others. However, we can begin by modifying our own perspectives.

How might we consider shifting our focus from others to ourselves? Here are a few suggestions for your consideration:

(1) Perhaps we could consider downplaying the evaluation of others.

Could it be that we restrict ourselves with the learned standards of being a good person – doing good deeds and being kind – because we believe that only by doing so will others recognize our character, and that recognition from others is important and necessary to us?

Perhaps if we put ourselves first and then, after satisfying our own needs, if we have the energy and time to do good, that would be even better. With this kind of thinking, we might not feel burdened.

(2) Accepting our feelings

When you are unable to take care of your younger brother or answer your parents' phone calls, it is important to accept your current mood and feelings and express them directly to them in a calm and respectful manner. For instance, you could say, "I'm sorry, I'm busy right now. I'll call back or go see my brother in a while." It is also important to have the courage to say no to other people's requests.

(3) It is important to express yourself authentically.

"I feel tired when I constantly post positive energy articles." It's understandable that people's moods can be affected by their surroundings and the events that happen to them. It's natural for people to experience a range of emotions. Writing to express their true emotions and feelings can be a helpful way to relieve stress.

It is only natural to experience occasional sadness. Just as we appreciate outstanding individuals with flaws, occasional sadness does not diminish our positive impression in the eyes of others.

(4) When our actions conflict with moral requirements, as long as our actions do no harm to others, they are "moral" and beyond reproach. For example, you may have a personal view on premarital sex, depending on your inner strength. If you feel you can cope with the consequences of premarital sex, you may feel able to agree with it.

If you feel you cannot handle it internally, it may be helpful to take a moment to reflect before acting.

This does not necessarily conflict with the "Buddha" teaching in the heart. All beliefs are meant to help us live a better life. To make better use of these beliefs, we might consider making practical choices and finding beliefs that meet practical needs and that we can accept.

Please note that the above suggestions are for reference only.

I hope it is of some help to you.

I hope this finds you well.

If I may offer a suggestion in response to this question, it seems that you are experiencing a growing difficulty in being held hostage by these feelings. From my perspective, this appears to be a positive indication.

This signal serves to remind us that this concept has triggered a conflict within us, which may be causing us to feel pain and fatigue. It might be helpful to take a break, or press pause on these feelings, and do some examination and awareness.

I hope to provide some support and direction for your exploration by analyzing the following points.

1-It's possible that you may unconsciously help others, which could mean that you're projecting your inner weakness onto them. By helping others, you may find that you add strength to your vulnerable inner self, which could be a defense mechanism to protect yourself. At this stage, this defense mechanism may not be as effective for you as it once was, perhaps because in real life you seem to need more material support to get by.

It might be helpful to consider that this defense could potentially undergo a transformation, perhaps becoming reality-based self-care, which could bring about a sense of greater comfort.

2-With regard to religious beliefs, this is a moral community of human consciousness in a civilized society, which itself has strong moral requirements. At the same time, religion follows the laws of physical and historical development, and has the characteristics of conservation and duality, that is, desire and morality are not necessarily contradictory.

For instance, the exterior walls of the Buddhist stupa are adorned with depictions of intertwined lust, yet the pure body of the Buddha is enshrined within. While moral guidance is also provided in the teachings, it is also suggested that confronting and understanding our desires, and learning to live happily with them, is an important aspect of a rich life.

If I might suggest, when we are feeling depressed and facing internal conflicts, it could be beneficial to explore and transform deeply.

I hope that, as you go through this process, you will gradually come to know and accept your true self. Thank you for meeting with me.

Hello, host!

I'm thrilled to think about this issue with you!

I'm so lucky to have Christian classmates and elders in my life! I've learned so much from them. Two things really stand out to me. First, love requires patience. Second, the doctrine of atonement says that we should spend our whole lives in the posture of a sinner, repenting to God for forgiveness.

From a realistic point of view, Christianity has some of the most positive teachings out there! They guide people to be self-deprecating, humble, grateful, and to constantly pursue the truth, goodness, and beauty in life.

These teachings are a direction for our constant pursuit, just like Freud's "superego." It is a very ideal state, and it is a great place to start! We still have some needs of the "id," so it is important to find a way to balance them. If the conflict between the two is too great, then the "self" will experience some psychological conflict. But with the right approach, we can find a way to live in harmony with our inner selves!

Mr. Luo Xiang once said something very important: people must accept their own limitations. In fact, not only people, but also society! When Marxism was first introduced to China, it was also Sinicized according to its own actual situation. On the road to constantly pursuing its ultimate goal of "common prosperity," it is also facing many difficulties and contradictions. But it's a goal we can achieve together, and it's going to be worth it!

This is a great reminder that when we're faced with these teachings, we can use them as goals to pursue in our own lives and a direction to move forward in. There are just two things to note:

First, you need to be realistic, acknowledge and accept your limitations, and allow yourself to have some things that you cannot do at the moment. Second, you need to give yourself enough time, as nothing can be achieved overnight. But don't worry! You've got this!

And there's more! When we are easily subject to moral blackmail, it is actually a form of suppression and avoidance of our own needs. We can only love others if we first take care of ourselves. And we can only take care of ourselves first if we love ourselves! So, loving ourselves is loving others. The host can try to slowly refuse some of the other person's demands and take care of themselves first.

I really hope these thoughts help you a little!