[Forms of Love] How do you discuss money in an intimate relationship?

Hello. From your statements, it is evident that discussing money in intimate relationships is challenging for you. This may be due to underlying issues related to dependence and independence. This is also a process of transitioning from a binary relationship to a ternary relationship. In this socialization process, it seems that you are expressing a lack of confidence and self-worth. This may be rooted in a shy and fearful inner child who is hesitant to speak up for herself.

I would like to extend my support to you in the form of a gesture of comfort, so I am offering you a hug from a distance.

A binary relationship is defined as a relationship between two individuals. The first binary relationship in life is the relationship between the infant and the mother, in which the infant sees itself in the eyes of the mother. The mother-child relationship model serves as the foundation for a person's intimacy model. In an intimate relationship, it is evident that you are timid, unable to confirm your own contributions, and unable to enjoy the rewards with a clear conscience. There is an unspoken barrier between husband and wife.

It is possible that your self-perception is vague and unstable, and that you lack confidence, which makes it difficult for you to clarify and firmly establish your position in an intimate relationship. In your current intimate relationship, you and your husband are a community of interests. You have formed a division of labor, which is recognized by both of you. Therefore, the role of a full-time mother is to maximize the interests of the family, not to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor without working hard. You may need to confirm your own contribution and let your husband confirm your contribution. This confirmation should be made in the context of the division of family roles, which is conducive to maximizing the interests of the family. Once you have confirmed your position and function, you may be able to confirm your own rights and interests and feel at ease enjoying the rewards of your labor.

From your description of your husband's behavior, it is evident that he holds you in high regard.

In a binary relationship, it is essential to recognize and affirm your own identity.

Let us revisit the triadic relationship. A triadic relationship is a social relationship. The earliest triadic relationship is the father's involvement in the mother-child relationship. As the child grows, its dependence on the mother decreases and its interaction with the father increases. The mother symbolizes nurturing care, while the father symbolizes social rules. In Chinese society, the roles of father and mother are often interchangeable.

Money is a manifestation and symbol of social rules, and economic relations are the relationships between people in the direct production process, with money serving as the guarantee of this relationship.

You are reluctant to discuss financial matters, and there may be a lack of socialization. You may be apprehensive about social relationships based on the principle of exchange.

Every young woman must eventually assume the role of a mature adult, forming her own family unit. This transition entails a shift in mindset, enabling her to become an independent decision-maker and oversee the management of her own household. This process demands a level of psychological maturity and resilience.

It is important to be courageous and not allow fear to impede progress. Open communication with your husband is essential for exchanging ideas and reaching a mutual understanding. By maintaining communication and aligning interests, you can establish a strong emotional and intellectual bond, leading to personal fulfillment.

Hello, sweetheart. It's important to remember that the foundation of a marriage is an economic relationship. This is something that can't be ignored, no matter what.

But because there's a veil of love, it can feel like talking about money desecrates the purity of love. So people are still a little embarrassed to talk about money, just like you at the moment.

First of all, the couple relationship is the anchor of the family, and children are just a wonderful by-product of love. They are very important, but they are not more important than the couple relationship. I understand the couple relationship as a mutual aid group, an emotional attachment group, and a community of shared future.

I don't know what you agreed to before marriage, and what the foundation of your relationship is. From what you've told me, it seems like you're currently feeling a bit uncomfortable in this relationship, perhaps just because you're currently unemployed. But remember, giving birth and raising children is also a kind of housework, and it can also be quantified in the form of wages (he pays you), which shows that he also recognizes your hard work.

You said you felt a little uncomfortable when you accepted it, but you also earn an income, right? If you feel like your income isn't high, you can definitely negotiate with him. That way, your income is the official income, and his income is the hidden income.

You're not lacking in money, but you might be feeling a bit insecure and unloved. It's totally understandable! You're not responsible for major household expenses, and you can afford to pay for minor expenses. So, you're not lacking in money, but you might not know about the family income and are unable to participate in the management of family affairs, right?

It's totally understandable that you'd want to know more about your position in this family. After all, it's natural to want to feel secure and have a sense of where you stand. You mentioned that you don't know how much money your partner has saved up. That's okay! It's not something you're expected to know. He's a great guy and he'll take care of the major expenses like when the kids start school.

It's also your sense of security that's at play here. He's actually a very dutiful and responsible husband, but there seems to be something missing between you.

So you're feeling like you're on the outside looking in, emotionally speaking. Could it be that your psychological imbalance is caused by not working or an unequal economic status? Or could it be that your lack of security is behind the emotional suppression?

Have you ever thought about chatting with him about how you're feeling?

Maybe you both love your family in your own way. You don't talk about money, and your partner thinks the same as you, that you don't need to talk about money because you don't lack money. In fact, talking about money doesn't hurt feelings, and not talking about money to suppress emotions is not desirable.

Because he doesn't understand your inner thoughts, he might still think you like this lifestyle.

If marriage is just a partnership to have children, then this approach of yours is totally fine. But the emotional attachment of a marriage is the bond of the relationship, not something that can be obtained through monetary or worldly exchanges. You should feel very confident talking to him about money, and you should also be bold and talk about emotions and needs, equality and sincerity. Discussing money with your partner and having a good grasp of the family's financial situation is also something you should have as the mistress of this household. A mistress who is neither servile nor arrogant, who respects and loves herself, does not have to worry about discussing money at all. Come on, dear.