[Forms of Love] The presence of my other half makes me feel inferior, why do they like to hit me?

Hello!

Have you ever wondered why some people like to attack their partners?

Psychologically speaking, hitting and belittling a partner is actually a reflection of one's own lack of acceptance. If we don't accept others, we also don't allow ourselves to exist in this way. Perhaps he is also not confident in himself and has a strong inferiority complex, so he projects this onto his partner. This situation is reflected in many couples, which means there's plenty of room for improvement!

It's fascinating how our inner selves can be reflected in our partners. For instance, if we have an inferiority complex, it can manifest as us looking down on our partner. Psychology also talks about a kind of narcissism, which is a degree of confidence. When this confidence is very strong, it can lead to narcissistic emotions, and then jealousy and intolerance of the partner will also become apparent.

In addition to the projection of inferiority mentioned above, such people also distort the truth by attacking others and manipulating them psychologically. The psychology of others is commonly known as PUA. This phenomenon is also very common, and it's something we can learn to recognize and avoid. We hope that the other person will achieve our self-esteem and narcissism according to our control, so we will be suppressed by the other person and distort some facts. For example, the comments he said to you are not necessarily true, but he will distort the facts to make you believe them. Of course, you may not be confident because of your internal sense of security, so you will firmly believe in his comments and care about what he said. You will also doubt yourself, deny yourself, and generate some negative emotions, constantly denying yourself. But you can learn to recognize these patterns and avoid them!

You've made great strides in this area! It's just that we may not be able to clearly see our current emotional state and position in an emotional relationship, and we may be temporarily blinded by hormones and unable to see the truth clearly. Now that we have ended this relationship, we can think about why we would let others treat us this way, or what kind of control such people want to achieve. We also need to see our inner selves and what psychological needs we have, so that we can constantly adjust and change ourselves to become more confident and comfortable.

Wishing you all the best!

I am good. The questioner is strawberry.

Everyone wants a sweet relationship, but you never know who you're going to meet. You have to get to know each other and decide if the other person is right for you and if they're someone you want to love.

It's clear from how they interact that there are problems.

The questioner was also happy when he was with his ex. He had good memories of them. But he soon discovered that his ex often criticized him and was oppressive. This was an unhealthy pattern of getting along with each other. Just facing him made the questioner feel inferior.

The questioner is afraid to argue with the ex-boyfriend's put-downs because he believes in his words and thinks they are right. This is a result of the ex-boyfriend's PUA behavior. He knows the importance of the questioner to him and that the questioner will pay attention to the topics he talks about, so he verbally puts the questioner down to make him feel inferior. This makes the questioner feel that he is the best for her and reluctant to leave him because of her inferiority complex.

It's clear that he can't accept the fact that the questioner is too good. Whenever others praise or compliment the questioner, he immediately tries to put a downer on it, so that the little bit of confidence the questioner has will immediately disappear. Because of his inferiority complex, he hopes that his partner will be more inferior than he is. This is his intention.

Stop losing money.

The questioner has no desire to leave the other party because they have already been made to feel inferior. They believe that if they leave, they will not be able to find someone better.

The questioner has always been passive in this relationship, which shows that their efforts are not cherished. It's not that they're not good enough, but that the other person has their own problems. They don't know how to love, and they don't know how to protect their own happiness.

The other person hurt the questioner and made him accept his decision to break up. However, the other person's early proposal was a timely stop-loss for the questioner. It is inevitable to be sad. Believe in yourself. You will get better and better after leaving the other person.

Free yourself.

The OP didn't even want to leave during the other person's oppression, and now she has devoted herself to this relationship, only to get such a result in return. She is filled with feelings of resentment, grievance, and sadness. She needs to let go slowly.

☀️ Talk about it. An outsider sees more clearly. The questioner is currently still in the midst of emotions that prevent them from accepting the breakup, which prevents them from seeing things clearly. Find a friend you trust or the right person to talk to. Pour out your heart, listen to their perspective, and take their advice as a reference. Talking about it will relieve your emotions.

Distract yourself. Don't dwell on why your efforts are not being reciprocated. It's the other person's problem. The questioner is not at fault. Don't blame your own mistakes on others. Distract yourself and fill your life with busyness and fulfillment. This will reduce the time you spend thinking about sad things.

☀️Change your mindset: Being suppressed by the other person made the questioner feel inferior, which made the questioner's mindset become negative and prone to self-doubt. The questioner needs to read "The Power of Self-Growth" and "The Terrific Me." By learning to strengthen their ability to bear, they can slowly restore their self-confidence. Usually, being around positive and motivated people has a positive effect on changing your mindset.

Take the time you need to grieve. When you're sad, promise yourself you'll take good care of yourself. Then, get back out there and face life and its challenges head on. Time will heal your wounds.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the original poster. Best of luck!

Dear question asker, Reading your words, I am reminded of how we might have met in person.

After reading your description, I feel compelled to offer you a gesture of comfort and understanding. I can sense the pain and suffering that your relationship has brought you, and I want you to know that you are not alone in this.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to calm down and talk about the confusion you mentioned in your description.

At the beginning of your description, you mentioned that "the days I spent with my ex were actually the happiest times in my life, but his presence also made me feel inferior." From this sentence, I understand that because the other person was your boyfriend at the time, spending time with him would make you feel happy. However, because he often belittled you in unexpected ways, this kind of unexpected belittlement made you tired of dealing with it. Over time, it made you feel like it was your fault, right?

If this excessive [regressive mode] has affected you, I want to say to you very firmly here: I believe you did your best in this situation.

Perhaps we could continue chatting?

You mentioned that you had asked him to help you carry some things, but he was reluctant and even said that all your things were junk. Sometimes his friends would compliment you on being pretty and having a good personality, but he would always say that you weren't pretty and didn't have a good personality. These words made you feel uncomfortable and made you feel that he resented you, but you couldn't argue back, and you even felt inferior, thinking that what he said was true. So you silently endured him. Regarding this section, I'd like to understand what made you choose to silently endure him even in the face of such belittling behavior.

You then go on to say, "Until one day, these blows from him made me feel that he was criticizing me, but I couldn't escape from him. He wanted to break up with me, and he was quite forceful in making me do so. I didn't want to leave, and he didn't tell me the real reason for the breakup until the end. The real reason was that he had fallen in love with someone else." After reading this, it's as if suddenly I understand something.

It seems that you have been waiting for an answer from him regarding the reason for your breakup. He avoided giving an explanation for quite some time, and it's possible that he only shared his feelings at the end of your relationship because he expected you to be unable to live without him. It's worth considering that your communication style may have played a role in this dynamic.

It seems that he used a controlling communication style with you, and you used a pleasing communication style with him. It might be said that you have taken care of all his needs in your communication with him. Because this care you have shown him in communication is so easy to come by, it could be that his sense of bottom line and boundary thinking has been weakened when he asks for things from you.

In response to this, I would like to share something with you. Even though right and wrong seem so clear-cut in this relationship, I believe it is important to consider that absolute terms of right and wrong may not be the most helpful in this situation. The way he treated you in an intimate relationship has consequences that he needs to bear, so it is understandable if you feel bad about his lack of cherishing you for too long. I know you value relationships, but it is important to consider that a relationship is not worth it if someone does not cherish you.

You might also consider thanking him for sparing you from a relationship that has been exhausting and for giving you the chance to look forward to a relationship that truly heals both of you.

I want to say it to you seriously again, honey: this is not your fault.

Please take care of yourself.

Hello, topic starter. I hope you feel some warmth and support, and I hope my answer helps you.

From your description, it's clear that he belittled and criticized you when you were together. He even proposed breaking up. You sacrificed so much for the relationship, believed in him, and endured discomfort and rejection. You never argued back, but silently endured it. You're confused and think it's your fault. But life is difficult. What we once thought was just our own thinking. Pain is a reminder to take care of yourself, look inside, and see the part of yourself that needs to grow. When you see yourself clearly and see the cause of your pain, you'll be able to get out of it and gain a strong inner heart.

I advise you to do the following:

You have to accept and allow yourself to make mistakes. Don't take all the blame. You did your best.

Everyone makes mistakes, and no one can do everything perfectly. We are good enough, even if we've been broken up with or rejected in a relationship. This is not the way to define ourselves. We don't need anyone else to define us. Even when everyone says you're not good enough, you know you're not as bad as they say.

Furthermore, in a relationship, it is not the responsibility of one person alone. It requires interaction between the two parties. Ultimately, the breakup was because he fell in love with someone else. How is that your fault? He also did not take responsibility for himself. He was not honest with you in the relationship and did not communicate with you in a timely manner.

It's pointless trying to decide who's right and who's wrong, or who's more responsible. The fact is, you didn't meet each other's needs. You felt your needs were met, but what about his needs for you? Have you never discussed or communicated about them?

At the beginning, relationships are sweet, romantic, and happy. The more you get along, the more you need to see each other's deep inner needs and desires and satisfy each other. This is the key to the long-term development of an intimate relationship. You need to express your needs. It's also hard for him to know your needs if you don't tell him.

We cannot and should not criticize ourselves for this. Instead, we must see this as a part of our own growth. We must accept all of this in the past and not deny ourselves because of these things. We must say to ourselves, "I accept and love myself, and I am worthy."

2. Identifying your own patterns, reflecting on your personal growth, recognizing your own insecurities in relationships, and "accommodating" and "appeasing" the other person in relationships.

From your description, it's clear that you consistently suppress your needs in the relationship. You dare not express your dissatisfaction and even agree with the other person's attacks and accusations against you. Do you believe that you can make the other person happy by "accommodating" and "pleasing" them in the relationship? This is a common pattern in love. It's related to our growth experience. You can see if this is also the case in your relationship with your parents. You suppress your own needs and satisfy their needs. This makes your parents like and recognize you more, right?

These methods allow us to "survive" in our families from a young age, but this is not a good way to be. The emotions and needs that we suppress never disappear; they find the right opportunity to erupt. Either they attack inwardly, making us feel particularly depressed and painful, or they attack outwardly, becoming violent.

It's okay. Seeing is the beginning of healing. We must understand ourselves and see the impact of our growth experiences on ourselves. We need to know that our patterns can be changed. The steps to change are: first, become aware; then, accept; and finally, establish a new pattern.

3. Build up your inner strength and establish a new model. In a relationship, you must express your feelings and needs and be your true self. Do this, and you will reap the rewards of a stable and genuine relationship.

If you feel uncomfortable in a relationship but don't express yourself, it's because you lack inner strength, which you call inferiority. You need to become strong and build up your self-confidence.

This will take time and effort, but you can learn how to become confident by reading my article, "How to become confident." First, you need to get to know and accept yourself. Then, you need to recognize your strengths and value yourself. You also need to learn to affirm and encourage yourself. Finally, you need to set reasonable goals, take action, create a variety of successful experiences, and experience a sense of worth and accomplishment. All of this requires practice, not just knowing.

When you have inner strength, you will express your true feelings and thoughts. When you feel uncomfortable, you can say to your partner, "When you say that, I feel very uncomfortable, sad, aggrieved, and sad. I especially need your affirmation and appreciation, and I especially care about your recognition and liking. In the future, can you (say what you hope he will do specifically)." When you can express your inner feelings and thoughts in a relationship, the other person will understand your needs better. When you present your true self in the relationship and he can accept you for who you are, you will find that you are very comfortable and relaxed in the relationship, and it will become more harmonious and stable.

You will find true happiness. Best of luck!

Hello, questioner! I am Jia Ao, and I don't have any specific requests at this time.

I have taken the time to carefully read through the issues and confusion you have outlined on the platform. Could I ask if you are currently experiencing difficulties in your relationship? You have mentioned your previous relationship experiences. It seems that your ex often offered criticism and rejection in various forms, and even directly stated that you were not particularly skilled in certain areas. Despite knowing that he held negative views about you, you felt unable to challenge him, which led to a sense of inferiority. At one point, you felt that he was right and were reluctant to leave, even when he used forceful tactics to try to break up with you. Eventually, he only said that the reason he wanted to end things was because he had fallen in love with someone else. His behaviour caused you a great deal of distress. Why didn't he say that he wanted to break up from the start? Despite all this, you have shown great resilience.

From what you've shared, it's evident that you've invested a great deal in this relationship and approach love with great humility. It's not your fault that he fell in love with someone else first and then turned around to criticize, hit on, and make you feel responsible for the relationship's struggles. It's understandable that you're struggling to understand why he treats you this way.

May I suggest that I help you analyze and sort things out?

1. [Maintain composure and reason]

I believe that God treats everyone fairly. It seems that your ex-boyfriend wanted to end the relationship, which is why he kept on picking fights with you. He didn't care if it hurt you or not; it seems that his goal was to make you back down and put more of the blame for the breakup on you. So he started to emotionally abuse you, hoping to force you to break up with him. From a certain point of view, he felt that he was being unfair for breaking up with you, but at that time you cared about him too much and couldn't live without him, so he resorted to such unkind means. It's because his heart wasn't with you anymore that he did all that, just to end the relationship as soon as possible.

2. [Love yourself well]

It might be helpful to consider that this kind of man has left you for a reason. He has done things to you that are excessive, and you have tolerated it for so long. You have done everything you could. His heart is gone, and it is futile to do more. You can never wake someone up who is pretending to sleep. You haven't done anything wrong. Perhaps you should try to be more awake. You should have left him a long time ago. It's just that you care too much about this relationship, so you care so much about his opinion. What you might benefit from now is forgetting the past and everything about him. Don't dwell on the past. You should get out of it as soon as possible and start your new life now. Don't live in the pain of the past. It might be helpful to love yourself well and cherish the people around you who deserve to be cherished.

3. [Seize the moment]

It would be beneficial to look forward and let go of the past. Consider doing more of the things you enjoy, making optimistic and reliable friends, reading more books, and learning more to enrich yourself. It might also be helpful to empty your heart and prepare to welcome the next beautiful relationship.

Do your best to make your life better. It would be beneficial to show him that you are still very happy and that you are happy without him, and that your life is even better. It doesn't matter if you have him or not.

4. [Consider ways to enhance self-confidence]

Perhaps you have been living in the shadow of inferiority. It's understandable that you care about what your ex thinks and says about you, but it might be helpful to consider that you take all the blame for everything. It seems that you don't have enough confidence in yourself. After being hit and rejected by him, it's understandable that all your confidence has vanished. It might be helpful to have a correct understanding of yourself and to believe in yourself. You won't change because of any comments. You are you, unique and different from everyone else.

5. [Strengthen your inner self]

It's important to remember that experiencing bad relationships does not mean it is a failure on your part. It only means that you have not yet met the right person. But no matter what, it's essential to be kind to yourself. It might be helpful to let go of the people who are just passing through. You are the protagonist of your own life. You can work hard to strengthen your inner self, constantly improve your qualities in all aspects, let go of all the unhappy memories, and go forward with a light heart. This can help you move forward better, work hard to live a good life in the future, and reap the happiness and joy that truly belong to you.

I hope my answer is helpful. I wish you well.

Hello, I am a Heart Exploration coach. I believe that everything is easy. I see that your other half's existence makes you feel inferior, and I'm wondering why he likes to undermine you.

You recall the days you spent with your ex. You were happy, but his behavior also made you feel inferior. He was always critical of you, for example, if you wanted him to help you carry something, he was reluctant to do so, and even said that your things were all junk. When his friends praised you for being pretty and having a good personality, he would always say that you weren't pretty and didn't have a good personality. These words made you feel uncomfortable and made you feel that he looked down on you. But you couldn't argue back, and you even felt inferior. You even thought that what he said was true. So you silently endured him. Although one day you realized that these criticisms were actually criticisms, and that you weren't as bad as he made you out to be, you still couldn't leave him.

At a later point in time, he expressed a desire to end the relationship and used a form of passive-aggressive behavior to pressure you into ending it. You were initially hesitant to end the relationship, and it wasn't until the end that he finally revealed the true reason behind his decision: he had fallen in love with someone else. However, you're left wondering why he didn't share this information earlier to spare you from the pain and confusion. You feel a sense of powerlessness and continue to blame yourself for what happened. I can see that the questioner is caught in a state of self-blame and sadness from which they cannot easily emerge.

The questioner has experienced a range of emotions with their partner, including happiness and sadness. They find comfort in having someone to keep them company and to help them feel less lonely. It seems that the questioner has formed a strong attachment to their ex-boyfriend. From the moment they felt the other person's presence, they began to feel a sense of dislike towards you. They often expressed criticism and attacked you verbally, and used cold violence against you. Despite their actions, you were initially reluctant to leave him. It wasn't until he expressed his love for someone else that you felt compelled to agree to break up.

From the way the questioner interacts in an intimate relationship, it can be seen that the questioner may tend to view the relationship in a less equal light, with the other person occupying a more dominant position. In your eyes, the two people may not be on an equal footing. You may find yourself approving of certain negative behaviors from the other person, even though you are aware that they are deliberately hurting you. You may feel reluctant to leave the relationship, perhaps due to a sense of unworthiness. The questioner may feel hesitant to express anger or speak up, for fear that it might not be well-received by the other person.

The pattern of interaction between the two people in an intimate relationship may have originated from the intimate relationship between the questioner and an important caregiver, mainly the relationship with the mother. Could the questioner's inferiority complex be rooted in experiences within their original family? It's possible that an important other person, like an ex-boyfriend, may have often blamed and criticized the questioner, making them feel bad and unlovable. Is it possible that the questioner is used to blaming themselves for everything that is not good?

I believe there may be some projection and identification at play in your relationship, which could potentially be hindering its growth. Projection essentially means that how your ex-boyfriend treats you may be a reflection of his inner thoughts.

For instance, if an ex-boyfriend tends to be pessimistic, with low self-esteem and a low sense of value, he may gain his own self-esteem and sense of value from the mode of blaming and belittling you. This could result in him treating you this way. Your reaction to his blaming behavior might be that you feel you are not good enough and that you deserve better. This could lead you to show obedience and approval and swallow your anger. As a result, you might also let this behavior pattern of his continue. At the same time, he may also agree that you are not good enough and that you are not worth his efforts. He might then think about leaving you and choosing someone of higher value.

It might be said that water flows downhill and people go uphill. It could be argued that everyone has an instinct to seek out benefits and avoid harm, and wants to seek out more valuable people and resources.

I believe this may be the reason why your ex-boyfriend attacked you. We all have different needs and preferences. It's not always easy to find someone who meets all of our expectations. Some people may prefer a partner who is more assertive and challenging. Everyone's needs are unique.

In a romantic relationship, if the questioner senses that things are not as positive as they could be, it might be helpful to take some time to reflect on the reasons behind this and explore ways to improve the relationship. If, after this, it becomes clear that the relationship is not working, it is important to remember that love is a matter of two people and that if one party is no longer in love, the relationship may need to come to an end.

In a relationship, it's important to strive for equality between the two people involved. The questioner may benefit from learning to respect themselves more in the relationship, express their thoughts and feelings, and respect the people who love and care for them. This could help them attract people who are similar to them and who will love and care for them in return.

I hope the questioner can find some relief soon. If you'd like to discuss further, you can click below to find a coach to interpret, choose to pay for a Q&A session, or chat with me one-on-one through Heart Exploration's companion chat. Best wishes.

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're blaming yourself for what happened and feeling powerless. But you're also really good at observing things and finding solutions, which is great!

You said that when you were with your ex-boyfriend, you were happy, but he always belittled and denied you. It made you feel uncomfortable, but you didn't argue back. You even used his words as a tool to criticize, but you didn't want to leave. It wasn't until he chose to break up with you coldly and violently that you couldn't accept it, and you felt powerless and even very uncomfortable. Is that right?

After reading your description, I just want to give you a big hug and tell you how sorry I am.

I'd love to help you understand why you stayed with your ex-boyfriend despite his hurtful behavior. Is it because you truly love him? Or because you're used to having him around and don't want to leave? Or because you don't like the feeling of being abandoned?

I also want to tell you that we are really lucky that he left you of his own accord. He was constantly denying us and our value, which is not good for us. He had no right to do it, but we gave him the right to hurt us. Fortunately, we are now separated, and what we need to do is adjust ourselves and bravely find our own true happiness.

I just want to say that even if he proposed the breakup, it's not your fault. It's so important to be aware of our emotional feelings and not resist. When we do, it's usually because there's an underlying need related to our family, education, environment, or life experiences. Having this awareness can help us heal ourselves, rebuild our confidence, and gain a life of freedom.

Based on what you've told me, I've got a few little tips that I think might help. I really hope they do!

First, I really think you should seek help from a professional counselor.

I know you feel uncomfortable inside, and you have a sense of loss towards him and self-doubt, but I still don't think this is a bad thing. We need to learn to get out of this negative emotion and boost our self-confidence. At this time, I suggest seeking help from a professional counselor. They will dig deep into the root of our subconscious and let us know why we can't let go when facing his criticism and accusations towards us, and why we feel so bad when he chooses to leave us. The counselor will help us sort out and adjust our perception, give us a safe and inclusive environment, and empower us to grow and change in this environment.

Secondly, let's try removing those negative labels we've put on ourselves.

Everyone is special and deserves to be loved. We can't lose, and we might meet people like ex-boyfriends who hurt us, but they've already gone. We have to remove these negative labels from ourselves because no matter who you are, you are worthy of love and you are the best. We want to change and escape from these uncomfortable emotions. All we have to do is not label ourselves negatively and let ourselves relax. In this way, we may get better and better.

And remember to love yourself!

From what you've told me, it seems like you've given a lot of love to your ex-boyfriend, even though he's treated you poorly. It's admirable that you've chosen to be tolerant, but I want to gently suggest that the person we should love the most in this world is ourselves. When we learn to love ourselves, we're able to love and be loved by others. If we don't love ourselves, it's hard for others to love us fully.

I know it can be tough to love yourself, but it's so important! It means respecting your feelings, learning to say no, and establishing your own boundaries. I know it's not easy, but don't give up! Keep looking, and you'll find a breakthrough that's all yours.

Then, look for positive experiences!

I know that for someone who has just broken up, there will be some reluctance and other negative emotions inside. At this time, it's important not to indulge in them. What you should do is find the experience of memories and find out what things you can do to make you happy and pleasant. You can also do those things more often! You can also meditate to expel that uncomfortable feeling from your body, and then that comfortable, happy, and warm feeling will fill your body.

I really think you'd love this book, "The Brain Code of Happiness."

Finally, I know that when we are immersed in these uncomfortable emotions, we may feel like we can't get out. But we can! We can release our negative emotions through exercise, and we can also do the things we like and are good at to help us break away from these negative labels.

You are the expert on solving your own problems. As long as you're willing and don't give up, you will absolutely find your own breakthrough. You will get better and better, and you will find your own ray of happiness.

Hello!

Your ex fell in love with someone else and kept hitting on you, but you still thought it was your fault until the breakup. I totally get why you would think that!

Let's work through this together, okay?

I'm really sorry to have to tell you this, but it seems that your boyfriend wants to break up with you. Rather than telling you directly, he's trying to make you leave him on your own by putting you down. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but the reasons are as follows:

(1) Our brains are wired to seek out the good stuff and avoid the bad!

In the eyes of his friends, you are beautiful and have a good personality, which shows that your relationship is very compatible in the eyes of your friends. It is possible that the person he has fallen in love with again is not as good as you in these respects. In order to avoid being teased by his friends when the new relationship is made public (which is not nice for him and he wants to avoid), he will say that you are not beautiful and have a bad personality.

I totally get it. This is what benefits his choice.

(2) Our brains are not always ready to admit when we're wrong.

His friends are totally on board with your relationship with your ex, and they think it's not cool to fall in love with someone else while you're still with your ex. He knows deep down that he messed up, but his brain just won't let him admit it.

He'll try to make you feel bad and inferior to prove that he's right.

(3) Our brains will try to make sense of our actions.

He'll probably try to make excuses for himself, saying that it's all the other person's fault and that he doesn't love you anymore.

This can show up as comments like, "You're not pretty," "You're bad," "You're cold and violent," and "You're disgusting."

I just want to let you know that this is not the right way to go about things.

In an intimate relationship, people who are introspective might think that if their partner treats them badly, it's because they did something wrong. They might even think that their partner is only unhappy and treats them badly because of it. They rely too heavily on their partner's opinion of them, lose sight of themselves, and are unable to correctly assess their own abilities. This can lead to low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.

It's not your fault, sweetheart. You just fell in love with someone who "doesn't deserve you." It's wise to leave him early and forget about him. People in love appreciate, achieve, and tolerate each other. You are a responsible and good girl. You can rebuild your confidence and find a caring and responsible partner in the future.

People in love appreciate, achieve, and tolerate each other. You are a good girl with a sense of responsibility. I'm sure you'll find a caring and responsible partner in the future if you rebuild your confidence.

Wishing you all the best!

Dear Question Asker, I would like to thank you for placing your trust in our platform and for allowing me to be the first to respond to your question.

I have read your article, "Forms of Love: The presence of my other half makes me feel inferior. Why do you like to undermine me?" I believe there are a number of potential reasons for this, which we can analyse and discuss together.

1. Get along

1. Emotional state

You stated that the days you spent with your former partner were the happiest of your life, but that his presence also made you feel inferior.

You experience a duality of emotions regarding your former partner. Your feelings of inadequacy are not a result of his inherent qualities, but rather the effect of his verbal abuse, which has caused you to feel inferior.

2. Behavior

You stated that he is consistently discouraging and discourages you from carrying out tasks, even when you request his assistance. Additionally, he has been known to criticize your belongings and personality. Despite positive feedback from his friends, you feel that he dislikes you.

It is evident that your ex-boyfriend has a tendency to look down on you and belittle you.

Your former romantic partner consistently undermined you. He accused you of possessing inferior belongings.

He tends to criticize you for any praise you receive, and he often disagrees with the opinions of others.

Please describe your feelings.

The actions of your former partner caused you discomfort and, at the same time, instilled a sense of disgust.

The psychology of the boyfriend in question.

These statements from your former romantic partner may indicate that he held you in lower regard or that he experienced feelings of inferiority in response to praise directed towards you. In such a context, offering a contrasting viewpoint to discredit you would be akin to elevating his own status, which he may perceive as beneficial for his overall sense of well-being.

3. Feelings

You stated that you were unable to engage in a debate with him, and that you felt inferior when he expressed his views. You continued to tolerate his behaviour until he began to make constant criticisms, which prompted you to consider leaving the relationship. However, you felt unable to do so. He initiated the breakup, citing his infatuation with someone else as the reason.

? Inferiority complex

When you say you are unable to refute his point, do you mean that you reluctantly agree with what he says, or that you are hesitant to offend him because of his temperament and you are concerned about hurting his feelings, so you do not express your true thoughts?

I believe there is a tendency in your personality to seek approval from others. This may result in a reluctance to challenge their opinions or to express your true thoughts. You have even acknowledged his claims and appear to accept that there is little that can be done.

As a result, you feel inferior.

The underlying cause of this behavior is jealousy.

The reason your former romantic partner consistently criticized, belittled, and denied you in front of others is that, apart from the fact that he probably looked down on you, his psychology was not healthy. He also exhibited the psychology of inferiority and insecurity. When others praised you, on the one hand, his jealousy arose. He did not want to hear others praise you, and on the other hand, he was worried that you would leave him, so he tried his best to deny and belittle you in order to cover up his worries, control you, and achieve the goal of making you feel inferior to him and unable to leave him.

? Long-planned

One of the most troubling aspects of human interaction is the use of manipulative tactics and a lack of sincerity. Your former romantic partner demonstrated these behaviors in their treatment of you.

First, he suppressed you, creating an environment of inferiority and subservience. Then, he withdrew from the relationship when challenges arose. Next, he resorted to cold violence and humiliation, which ultimately led to your withdrawal.

I must admit that I am genuinely displeased on your behalf and sympathize with your circumstances. It would be prudent to terminate the relationship as soon as possible, given that the other party is unable to treat you with sincerity.

2. The reason for this outcome

1. Confusion

You stated, "Why didn't he inform me in advance of the dissolution of our relationship? I would have been better prepared to handle the situation. I am unable to do anything about it, and I still believe that I am at fault."

There seems to be some confusion.

You are perplexed as to why he did not terminate the relationship sooner, thereby avoiding the distress you are currently experiencing. This is an example of his unkindness. He was reluctant to accept responsibility for ending the relationship, so he took steps to encourage you to withdraw from the situation.

You are straightforward and benevolent.

You are a commendable individual with a reputation for purity and kindness. However, it seems that you may have been the victim of a calculated scheme by your former romantic partner. Despite your initial lack of awareness, you have allowed this individual to exert control over you, leading to a situation where you have sustained significant emotional distress.

This illustrates your kind and simple nature, which also makes you susceptible to manipulation.

2⃣️, due to personality

From your description, it can be seen that in your relationship, you are humble, pleasing, and a good girl without self-interest. I would posit that you are a pleasing + melancholy personality.

Individuals with a pleasing personality

A pleasing personality is one that is inclined to prioritize the satisfaction of others over one's own needs and feelings. The underlying principle of pleasing others is that one's sense of safety and love is contingent on making others feel at ease.

As a result, you prioritize your girlfriend's concerns and interests over your own, while neglecting to fully consider your own feelings.

Individuals with a melancholic personality

A melancholic personality is defined by the following characteristics:

Characteristics: thoughtful, highly sensitive, idealistic, and driven to pursue truth, goodness, and beauty.

Strengths: highly sensitive, loyal, talented, and perceptive.

Disadvantages: - Being stubborn - Being indecisive - Being self-centered - Being pessimistic - Being passive

From your description, it is evident that you are sensitive to your former romantic partner's attitude towards you. You tend to be self-centered, and you are more inclined to please others than most. Consequently, you often give in to avoid causing distress to the other person. Once the other person's true intentions are revealed, you experience significant emotional distress.

3⃣, the environment of survival in the original family influences

Your character's tendency to please and melancholy both indicate a longing for love, which suggests an underlying issue in your original family environment.

A lack of love

From your description, it is evident that your parents often neglected you, rarely demonstrated care or concern, and fostered feelings of insecurity. Consequently, you developed an intense desire and expectation for love.

Your former romantic partner was able to provide the care you desired, so despite being belittled, you were reluctant to forego the care he had offered. When he indicated that he was interested in another individual, you were unwilling to terminate the relationship. It can be seen that you are not lacking in love in general, but rather, you have a great deal of it.

The issue of suppressed emotions

Furthermore, I believe your parents' approach to you should be assertive and firm, while also being respectful of your emotional expression. They tend to exhibit a personality type that is accusatory, controlling, and aggressive.

The blaming type

Those who blame others often ignore others, are used to attacking and criticizing, and deflect responsibility. Internally, they are constantly harassing and blaming others or the environment in order to protect themselves.

The act of blaming implies a lack of respect for others and a tendency to prioritize personal circumstances and emotions over those of others.

Individuals with a controlling personality

Individuals with controlling personalities desire respect, active listening, and conformity from others. When these expectations are not met, they may become agitated.

Individuals with an aggressive personality

A radical personality is defined as follows:

Characteristics: strong will, action-oriented, energetic, achievement-oriented.

Strengths: displays courage and decisiveness, demonstrates resilience and the ability to persevere, exhibits a high level of self-discipline.

Weaknesses: - Lack of patience - Lack of empathy - Stubbornness - Arrogance - Indifference

You are a kind individual who has lived in such a family, and your character will reflect this. This is how deeply your family has influenced you.

What should be done?

1. Identify your personal brand.

It is evident that you are currently operating without a clear sense of self, which has led to a tendency to seek external validation and support. My recommendation is that you prioritize identifying your core values and strengths to gain a deeper understanding of your identity and move towards a more independent and self-sufficient mindset.

It is essential to gain an understanding of who I am.

It is evident that your family of origin fostered an environment of emotional neglect and repression, impeding your development of a healthy sense of self-differentiation. Consequently, you have become dependent and lack a clear understanding of your identity. It is now essential to gain a deeper insight into your own self.

It is important to understand who you are and what kind of person you want to become in the future. What kind of efforts will you make to become the ideal version of yourself?

This is how you complete the recognition of your own identity.

An understanding of your abilities is essential.

What kind of person you aspire to be in the future, and what abilities, strengths, and weaknesses you possess. In other words, where your strengths lie.

You are aware of your capabilities, limitations, and contributions.

It is important to identify and develop your strengths.

In order to achieve your desired outcome, it is essential to identify your strengths and utilise them to excel, achieve success and operate independently without interference.

This is about understanding your own capabilities and strengths, and having the confidence to face the challenges ahead.

2. Enhance your professional capabilities.

It is important to recognise that nobody is perfect. This is particularly relevant when an individual lacks a clear understanding of their own identity. When this is the case, it can result in a tendency to rely on others, which can ultimately lead to feelings of confusion and uncertainty.

Self-identity

Self-identity is the consistency of the self. It is the individual's ability to integrate their awareness of the self's current situation, physical self, social expectations, group identity, experiences, future hopes, and other dimensions into a complete, harmonious, consistent structure. This integration allows for the formation of a state of social maturity and self-affirmation in personality development.

The following tasks must be completed in the identity stage:

In the stage of identity, you must complete the three major themes of life: Who am I? Where do I come from?

The three major themes of life: where am I going?

Erikson posits that identity formation occurs when adolescents resolve three key issues: career choice, value formation, and the establishment of a satisfactory gender identity.

The objective of self-improvement is to enhance one's personal and professional capabilities.

If, during the identity stage, there is a lack of integration of individual needs, emotions, abilities, goals, values, beliefs, and other characteristics into a unified personality framework, it is necessary to redefine the question of who we are, where we come from, and where we are going. In addition, we must re-integrate the aforementioned self-personality traits.

Once you have integrated all the necessary elements, you will feel complete, even though you will still have imperfections. You will be able to live and work independently without relying on others. You will also be able to avoid the empty and focus on the real, which will help you to face any external challenges.

3. Be authentic.

In the absence of a clear sense of self-identity, individuals may find themselves susceptible to external influences and doubts about their own capabilities. This can result in a lack of self-confidence, leading to a crisis of self-identification and an inability to fully express themselves.

Once you have perfected yourself and defined your position, you will not be influenced by the opinions of others. You will be in control of your own destiny, pursuing a trajectory that aligns with your personal goals and objectives. You will make decisions that align with your values and interests, and you will become the best version of yourself.

Ultimately, it is about understanding your own capabilities, developing your strengths, and defining your personal brand. Only when you have achieved this can you achieve true inner peace, avoid being influenced by external opinions, and present your authentic self to the world.

Thank you for posing a thought-provoking question. We hope that through our discussions, you will gain valuable insights that will help you understand yourself better, improve your skills, and become the best version of yourself.

I would like to extend my best wishes to the original poster.

Greetings.

After careful consideration of the provided description, it is my assessment that the description does not align with the question posed.

The subject displays an inferiority complex and a tendency to undermine others.

The content indicates that your inferiority complex is a result of your excessive concern for the other person. Additionally, the description of his propensity to engage in aggressive behavior towards you provides an opportunity to examine the underlying causes of your inferiority complex.

In your description, he was reluctant to assist you with carrying items. This indicates a lack of interest in you. Here, we must make an assumption:

1. The pursuit by the male partner indicates that he was seeking a relationship and was willing to invest significant effort to gain the female partner's attention. When the male partner proposed going out with the female partner, she agreed with a high level of certainty. This suggests that the male partner may not have had a long-standing interest in the relationship or may have been seeking a relationship with minimal effort.

2. You pursued him assiduously, employing a multitude of tactics, and he ultimately acquiesced out of necessity. If this is indeed the case, his feelings for you are similarly constrained.

In your description, his friend stated that you possess both physical beauty and an admirable character. He asserted that if one lacks moral rectitude, they cannot be considered attractive. Here, we can also make the following assumptions:

1. His friend was discussing the conventional politeness observed in social interactions, and he perceived his friend's actions as hypocritical, prompting him to respond candidly.

2. Jealousy and possessiveness. He believes that his friend is flattering you and is interested in you, and employs two distinct linguistic strategies to assert his ownership and demonstrate a strong desire to possess you.

It is important to note that the hypothesis does not suggest that you should feel inferior; rather, it implies that he should feel inferior. By attacking you, he is implicitly expressing a belief that he is superior to you and thereby increasing his confidence.

In your description, the use of violent and cold tactics is ineffective in causing you to leave. The appearance of another individual who he is interested in also has no effect. The assumptions made in this context are particularly intriguing.

1. From the outset, he was pursuing you because you were the one initiating contact, and he happened to be single, so he was concerned about being teased by his friends. This led him to seek you out in order to have some fun. From the beginning, it was your one-sided infatuation.

2. The rationale behind the cold and violent breakup is that the individual in question is aware that your excellence is beyond his control, and thus, he employs this method to leave you with dignity. However, your persistence also intimidates him, and at this juncture, he has identified someone he can control and has chosen to separate.

The aforementioned information is intended to serve as a personal hypothetical reference only.

It can be reasonably deduced from the aforementioned description that the subject in question is not inherently malevolent. Therefore, it is unnecessary for her to compromise her personal standards in pursuit of romantic attachment. If the aforementioned interactions are representative of her typical discourse with this individual, the lack of social support may, in fact, serve to strengthen the relationship.

Furthermore, regardless of the nature of the relationship in question, respect, understanding, and honesty are of paramount importance. It is ill-advised to engage in self-deprecating behavior. At this juncture, it is imperative not to succumb to feelings of inferiority.