[Forms of love] When you love someone, what do you love about them?

Dear friend, I can see that you are a thoughtful person, and I wonder if you would be interested in exploring together what love is.

1. When you love someone, do you love their appearance, their talent, or their wealth? It is understandable that love is a complex emotion and that it can manifest in different ways for different people. It is possible that at first it is simply an instant hormonal response, and you fall in love at first sight. There is a saying in the fandom (star-struck group) that goes: "It starts with appearance, falls in with talent, and stays true to character." This suggests that love can evolve from a superficial attraction to a deeper emotional connection. A good-looking appearance can initially draw people in, talent can make people want to continue to get to know you, and noble character can inspire a profound love. This is probably what it means!

2. I would like to briefly mention the love theory proposed by American psychologist Sternberg, which suggests that love consists of three basic components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Passion can be defined as the sexual component of love and an emotional fascination.

I believe that intimacy can be defined as the warm experience that can be aroused in a romantic relationship.

A promise is a decision or guarantee to maintain a relationship. A long-lasting love has these three corners and is as stable as this equilateral triangle.

It is worth noting that only passionate love, when the passion subsides, will eventually come to an end. These three elements, when combined, form a total of seven types of love. These include like-style love, infatuation-style love, hollow-style love, romantic-style love, partner-style love, foolish-style love, and perfect-style love. Should you be interested, you are welcome to learn more about this in detail. However, I will not go into detail here.

3. It is likely that one will love many people in their lifetime. Some people may teach us how to grow up, some may teach us how to be graceful, and some may teach us how to get along in an intimate relationship. The person who truly stays with you for the rest of your life may be the one who is in the right place at the right time and has the right feeling. It is possible that they may not teach you anything, but it may just be the right time for you to meet them!

I hope this information is helpful for you. Thank you for your attention.

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

I don't love any of the three of them, but I love his sense of responsibility! There are many handsome people in the world, as well as talented and wealthy people, but my love for my husband has nothing to do with these factors.

Before I met him, I had imagined who I would fall in love with. I had also been courted by many people around me. Some of them were good-looking, some were talented, and some came from better-off families. But before I met my husband, I didn't feel "love" for any of them. I believed in my own feelings, and of course I couldn't rely on just one outstanding quality to be with them if I didn't feel it. So I rejected all of them. And you know what? It was the best thing I ever did!

My husband and I didn't suddenly develop those subtle feelings for each other until after we had known each other for a year. It wasn't love at first sight, but rather we started to like each other after getting to know each other. At that time, I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. He was the head of our college's news station, which was really cool because he was also a great writer. He said he failed elementary school Chinese, but it was also very amazing that he could become the head of the news station!

Later, I understood that he was able to become the station manager because of his amazing sense of responsibility and willingness to take on responsibilities. At that time, the student press was having a hard time. There was no funding, but there were so many activities to be carried out. He would take out some of his own living expenses to be used by everyone. We were all so inspired! He would also communicate with the leaders of the college for everyone, fighting for our rights and interests.

In fact, during the first semester of my freshman year, I was really excited about joining the student press, but I didn't know how to join. I knew that the student press would accept our submissions, so I wrote a great article and put it in the designated location. My husband said that he had read my article, but there was no contact information in the article, and he wanted to find me, which was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Maybe fate is really amazing. During the second semester of my freshman year, I learned that the student press was recruiting new members, so I went to the interview with a try-it-out attitude. That same night, I also participated in an interview with the student union. I felt that I would be accepted by the student union, but I was not notified by the student union. Instead, I received a phone call from the student press, which was accepted!

Later, I realized that my husband had actually seen the class I wrote about in my article! He told the students in our class who were already at the newspaper office to invite me to come for an interview. In fact, he had already intended to invite me to join the newspaper office through my article!

After joining the reporter station, I was absolutely thrilled because I really love writing articles. So I submitted tons of articles in the name of the reporter station, and many of them won awards! Some won first prize in the school essay competition, and some were on the front page of the school newspaper. I was over the moon, and so was he. But at that time, there was no romantic feeling between us at all. I just regarded him as an older brother with a sense of responsibility and accountability, and he just regarded me as a younger sister and a gentle girl who can write articles.

During the year we spent together, I saw his brilliance, and was moved by all he did for the student newspaper. He also saw my brilliance, and was moved and impressed by many things. At the New Year's Eve party in my sophomore year, I felt for the first time that I liked him. That night, the Student Union organized the party, and he, as the former editor-in-chief, also attended. However, throughout the whole process, we didn't say a word to each other. When I saw the interaction between him and another girl at the party, and he didn't invite me to interact with him, I suddenly felt extremely lost. On the way back to the dormitory, we didn't say a word to each other. When we parted ways, I walked alone into my dormitory building, unable to stop crying for a long, long time... I was very confused, and I asked myself, "Is it love?"

Could this be love? Later, I was interrupted by a phone call from a junior high school classmate, so I went into the dormitory. That night, for some reason, I had no cell phone signal and I didn't receive any messages, including any from him.

When I walked out of the dormitory building the next morning, the phone signal suddenly came back, and I received a lot of messages from him. I started to cry again, because I felt that he also cared about and liked me. He asked me to go to the English corner with him on Tuesday night, and there were some other words of concern. After I read them, I couldn't help crying for a while, and I replied to his messages. He immediately called, and I answered. We spoke for a few minutes, and after I hung up, I received another message from him: "Just now, when I heard your voice, it sounded like you had a cold. Take care of yourself." Then, I received a call from another classmate. During the chat, I deliberately asked, "Do you feel that my voice has changed?"

"He said, 'No, it's normal.' I was even more moved. It turned out that he really cared about me so much and understood me so well that he could even hear such subtle changes!

At that time, I said to myself, "If he declares his love to me, I will definitely say yes!"

Later, he finally confessed his love to me! I was over the moon, and I still feel that way today. I think he felt the same way. We looked back together, and I realized that at the time when I had those feelings, more than ten days ago, he had already felt that he liked me. So, he would pay some attention to me and give me some hints, but he wasn't sure if I liked him back. So, when he confessed his love, he must have summoned up a lot of courage. I could see that his lips were trembling the whole time, and his voice was also...

And so, we fell head over heels and got together. Up until now, we have been together for more than sixteen years and are still madly in love!

He's not the most handsome guy, not the tallest, can't write short essays, has no special skills, and when I met him, he didn't have much money either. We once walked for more than two hours to save two dollars on bus fare. At one point, because of all this, my parents opposed our being together and even wanted to introduce me to a rich man in our area. I was determined to stick with my husband, and I'm so glad I did! I believe that affection based on mutual love is something that can be encountered but not sought, while wealth can be created together. What I value most is his sense of responsibility and care for me. The more I think about marriage and love, the more I realize that these qualities are all the more important. Perhaps this is the reason why, after so many years and so many things, our relationship is still so stable.

Thank you so much for your question! It has reminded me of the amazing days we spent together, and how far we have come together. It is truly not easy, and we need to cherish it even more!

As for whether to love someone for their appearance, their talent, or their wealth, the possibilities are endless! Everyone's needs are different, so there's no one right answer. The key is to find ways to satisfy each other's needs in a relationship. When we do, it's guaranteed to be a happy one!

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Dear question asker,

Could you tell me what characteristic you love in someone?

It is true that everyone has different standards when it comes to choosing a partner. Some people may prioritize financial stability and material possessions, while others may value character and personality above all else. Some may even consider the compatibility of each person's hobbies and interests as an important factor. Consequently, the choice of a partner can vary greatly from one person to another, reflecting different standards and definitions of what it means to be a partner.

I often find myself reflecting on the qualities that initially drew me to my partner. When I look back on my relationship with my former partner, I realize that I was drawn to his cheerful and outgoing personality, as well as his passion for sports. These traits were undoubtedly attractive, but on a deeper level, I believe the quality that truly resonated with me was his willingness to accommodate my needs and desires.

It's understandable that this characteristic may not be permanent, and that eventually, it might lead to a breakup. I can also appreciate that this is a normal phenomenon.

I have studied at Yi Xinli for a long time, and I believe that my current partner's qualities differ from those of my ex-partner. Perhaps it is a result of my increasing age or my growing inner experience, allowing me to explore human nature more deeply. I would say that the most important quality of the person I love is probably honesty, communication, problem-solving, and independence.

Of course, everyone's standards for a partner are different, whether material or internal, or whether we have different definitions and developments of things. These views will also give us a deeper understanding of this person, and a more multi-layered analysis of human nature. Perhaps as we grow older, we will all change some of our standards for a partner, but regarding certain traits, when we develop a stable personality, these traits are not easily changed. Just like what I value most in a partner is that the person can communicate actively, be independent and respectful of each other, and also be able to be independent, aware and see each other in this state.

I hope you find this opinion helpful.

I used to say that you like someone "because it's him, not because of what he is."

So, what is it that you like about him? Is it his appearance, his talent, or his money?

If you like a good-looking appearance, but there are many good-looking people in the world, you don't have to like this one. It's okay!

If you like talent, there are so many talented people out there! It's not necessary to like this one in particular.

If you like money, there are so many rich people out there! There's no need to limit yourself to just one.

On the contrary!

If you like someone for their appearance, would you still like them if one day they were disfigured?

Oh, goodness! If something were to happen to him and he got hurt in the brain and became stupid, do you think people would still like him?

Even if he went bankrupt and was heavily in debt, I'm sure you'd still like him!

So, it's all about appreciating someone for who they are and what makes them special. Even if things change around them, this feeling will always stay the same.

This man is the sum of everything. His appearance, his talent, his money—he's got it all!

If you look a little better than average, you'll feel the pressure. And if you're even half a point worse, you won't be able to stand looking at yourself. It's just how reality is, sweetheart.

If his talent is too much in comparison to mine, I might feel a bit out of my depth. If he is a bit worse, I might feel that he is not quite good enough for me. It would be great to have equal talents!

If his financial situation is a little better, people might think he's greedy for money. If it's a little worse, it might make him lower his original standard of living. So it's probably best to be on an even keel.

It's so important to get these three points just right. If they're even a little bit off, it's not okay. It's so hard to find someone who's just right, isn't it?

It's okay to be greedy for beauty! Most people have a very low chance of losing their looks, so there's no need to fret about that. As for getting fat and growing old, we're all in this together. No one needs to dislike anyone else!

It's also pretty unlikely that you'll lose your memory or become stupid when it comes to talent. And talent that is one's own will never disappear. The talent that I have worked hard to obtain can attract the love of others and make them happy.

Money. I remember a line that the lovely Yang Mi said, roughly meaning: He is with me because I am rich, and I am so happy because I am rich.

So, there are so many reasons why we like someone! It could be because we admire their beauty, appreciate their talent, love their money, or it could be none of the above. There's no way to define emotions using "standards." Everyone likes for any reason, and for them, it is the most normal and appropriate reason.

Gaining insight into the mind makes sharing a habit! I'm talking to myself.

What do you love about this person?

My feeling is that if you ask 10,000 people this question, you'll get 10,000 different answers.

Why is that?

People have different values, so the reasons for loving someone will also vary when choosing a partner.

If someone asked me this question now, after more than ten years of marriage, I think I would answer:

To love someone is to love them simply.

Overthinking love can be a psychological burden.

Some people think love is a very complicated thing, sometimes like a tangled mess of a thousand threads. I personally feel that love is not very different from the things we usually do. When we are doing something, overcomplicating it is not conducive to progress. It's good to change your mindset and think about things a little more simply from a common sense perspective, as it may make it easier to get things done.

The same goes for loving someone. When you like someone and you're in love with them, love them with all your heart. As for the end result, don't dwell on it too much. If you can love, love; if you can't, let go. If you constantly struggle to love someone for a result, you'll get tired of it.

It's really quite simple: you like me, I like you, and we like each other. There's no need to put any restrictions on yourself or carry a burden. This kind of love for the sake of love needs to learn to stop in time.

Love that asks for nothing is just a front.

It's not easy to love someone without expecting anything in return, especially in today's realistic social environment. Those who love someone without expecting anything in return, or who just expect them to be nice and treat them well, haven't necessarily found a fulfilling love.

A good love relationship is one where both people want something from it. It could be the other person's appearance, talent, or wealth. When you love someone, it doesn't matter which aspect you value in that person. It's all about your own value orientation. There's no right or wrong, good or bad distinction.

So, you don't need to worry too much about what other people think. Everyone has different values at different times in their lives, and people's values change depending on their age, knowledge, and experience.

When you love someone, you love everything about them.

I believe that love is inherently pure, but when impurities are introduced, it can become complicated and changeable. Loving someone involves your preferences, physical attraction, or shared interests, as well as a match of three views, etc. In short, the person standing in front of you is exactly how you like them, with not a single flaw, so perfect and so endearing.

This is how love should be. It might not always be smooth sailing, but it's pure. When outside opinions or views start influencing your views on love, you'll have concerns and considerations, and there'll be conflicts and comparisons. Because of these impurities, this original love is tainted with a sour taste.

When you love someone, you really hope you can accept everything about them simply because of love. This kind of love is beautiful and not unattainable. He is actually by the side of everyone who knows how to love. The key is whether you yourself are a person who knows how to love.

One last thing:

It can be tough to love someone when you have so many other things on your mind.

It's not difficult to love someone when your heart is full of love and thoughts.

All you have to do is love someone and love them well.

When it comes to love, there's not as much anxiety as you might think.

Hello, question asker!

Everyone's different, and we all have different experiences, so our thoughts are bound to be different too.

I'd like to ask you to tell me what happened that caused you to feel this way. What's your answer?

All problems are opportunities in disguise. When we're confused, it's time to recognize it and actively seek solutions. Then, we need to understand ourselves and what our needs are behind this confusion.

What's confusing you is what it is about someone you love. Is it their looks, their talent, their money, or their status?

Is that what it boils down to?

I don't think there's a simple answer to this. When you truly love someone, it's a feeling of attraction. Sometimes you can't explain it to yourself. I don't know if you agree.

But there must be a reason at the end of the day. Some people are attracted to each other because of their talents, some are attracted because the other person is more attractive, and some choose the other person because they want to gain money and status. Everyone is different because everyone has different needs, but for me, the most important thing is to have someone who is good to us from the heart and willing to tolerate us.

I think there must be a reason for this confusion. It could be that you're not sure about your choice of partner, or that they haven't given you enough courage. What do you think?

What do you think about this situation?

The first thing to do is to be constantly aware.

Like their own inner needs. You can only know what you really want, what kind of emotional needs you have for each other, and what kind of emotional needs others have for you if you're constantly aware of the causes of your confusion. This can help you clarify what kind of love you're seeking.

Then, be open to the idea that nobody's perfect.

Nobody's perfect. As long as there are problems of one kind or another, we shouldn't reject someone because of something minor. Looking too closely at flaws can make them seem worse and cause us to dislike the person. So we need to accept imperfection, accept our own imperfections, and accept the imperfections of others. This is a normal human need, and everyone has it.

If true love has no reason, there's no need to dwell on this question. When we do dwell on it, try to give yourself a hug, learn to love yourself more, and respect your own feelings. When we love ourselves enough and have enough self-confidence, everything will get better and better, and we'll be able to love and be loved, and we'll know exactly what we want.

Hello. I am a heart exploration coach. Everything is easy. I see your question: To love someone, what do you love about them?

When you love someone, you love their talent, not their appearance or wealth.

I will answer your questions.

I have been married for more than ten years, and I am well aware that disputes are part and parcel of marriage. This question prompted me to recall a recent argument. I demanded to know what my partner liked about me, and he replied, "I like that you're stupid."

I replied firmly, "Serves you right, you're blind."

I find it amusing when I think about this. When we argue, I know my partner is trying to get back at me and make me feel bad, but deep down he still cares about me.

If it is really as he said, and my stupidity can also be accepted by my partner, that is a good thing. He can accept my shortcomings, and that is his love for me.

I am certain that loving someone means accepting the lowest point of the other person, not being attracted to the highest point of the other person.

Good looks, talent, and good financial conditions are external value conditions of a person. They can add to a person's charm and attractiveness.

However, in the long term, as the true self comes face to face with each other, various shortcomings and different ideas and habits are exposed in the shared life. We must learn to tolerate and accept each other's shortcomings, which cannot be changed. We must find a way to seek common ground while reserving differences and each taking a step back so that we can go in the same direction together.

A person's ability to love, and their capacity to love themselves and others, is what determines whether they can have a good love.

The law of attraction is a fundamental concept in psychology. It states that people's thoughts and ideas are always attracted to realities that are consistent with them. This is a clear example of the idea that "thinking makes it so." (Term transferred from Baidu)

A person with the ability to love will attract people with the same qualities to them. Two people with the ability to love together will create a beautiful love and embark on a beautiful journey of mutual cultivation.

The ability to love includes empathy, good communication skills, mature cognitive abilities such as the ability to look at things from multiple perspectives, the ability to respect and understand, a sense of boundaries, the ability to handle emotions, self-discipline, and the ability to learn.

People who have several of these abilities are excellent people. The more complete a person's personality is, the stronger their ability to love themselves and others will be.

The view of marriage and love is part of the outlook on life. How we view ourselves, others, and the world is reflected in our various interpersonal relationships and in our love.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner, and I wish you a beautiful love.

Hello, Thank you for your question!

You've asked a great question, and I'm happy to share my thoughts with you.

1. I love his appearance and his talent.

Am I being greedy?

A lot of people believe that when we like someone, it all starts with appearance and ends with character.

It's the same with guys and girls. They like pretty girls and handsome guys. Appearance is a plus when it comes to love and marriage.

At the same time, we also need to know that everyone's idea of a heart-stopping appearance is different.

It's just that some ordinary-looking people stand out in the eyes of those who like them.

There are people who, even though they're not the most striking, will make you feel close to them in ways you can't explain.

That's why you like that distinctive skin tone.

Some people are drawn to guys with big eyes, fair skin, or a slight thinness, while others prefer a more muscular and masculine look. Everyone has different standards when it comes to what they find attractive.

For me, talent is a bigger factor than appearance.

So we shouldn't put ourselves down because we don't have a distinguished appearance, worrying that no one will like us.

This brings to mind Dong Yuhui from Oriental Selection.

When he first started streaming live, some people online didn't like his appearance and said he had a square face.

But then, in the live broadcast room, he would talk about more than just the products he was selling. He would also share his insights into life, talk about the books he had read, the places he had traveled, and his experiences of joy and loneliness.

He's inspired countless people.

He has a lot of people's attention, and they like him more and more.

Even now, many people think he's good looking.

This is the power of great talent.

Just picture this: even if someone is drop-dead gorgeous, if you're together, life can feel pretty dull and samey. Over time, that can make you feel less attractive.

2. Our preferences change.

Our feelings for someone can change.

From the first impression of being just okay to the point where you get along, interact, respond, or he's wealthy, a lot can change without you even noticing.

Of course, many people place a high value on wealth.

As we all want to have a good life, a material foundation is a given. So, a person with better financial conditions, especially if they are willing to make sacrifices for us, is likely to be loved.

In a way, wealth also means success and a more convenient life, so it's not bad to love money.

In the real world, people with more money are more likely to find a partner than others.

3. It all comes down to us.

People tend to love other people for their looks, talent, and wealth, but the scores they give vary a lot.

Some people are really focused on appearance and want to find a partner with a face they like. They might rate a face as a 50 out of 100.

And some people may give a score of 60 to talent and only 10 to appearance.

Some people have always been short of cash and may give a score of 80 to wealth. It seems that having wealth can satisfy them, and other aspects are not as important.

But for someone who is used to a life of luxury, who has always been well-off, wealth may not be as important. After all, they can satisfy their own needs.

When we love someone, it's really about ourselves.

It's because our needs are being met.

This also affects who we're attracted to.

I often see that some guys prefer girls with light makeup and minimal embellishment, and they like this authenticity.

They're afraid the girl will look like a different person without her makeup.

Some people, on the other hand, are more concerned with appearances and feel that it is enough to look beautiful in public.

We tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to us, but there's also a certain appeal in being with someone who complements us.

If you're a bit timid, you'll probably want your partner to be brave.

If you're a bit indecisive yourself, you hope the other person will be decisive and unhesitating.

When we like someone, we tend to learn more about ourselves.

Please feel free to share these.

If you're interested, you can check out "What Kind of Love is Worth Being Brave for Once."

Best of luck!