Have I not been seriously dating for several years, is it my problem or the guys' problem?

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun here. Life is such a beautiful journey, not for appreciation, but for blooming!

I can tell you're feeling a bit worried and anxious about things after starting a relationship. It's totally normal! Especially when the other person doesn't reply to your messages in time, it's easy to let your imagination run wild and worry about things that may or may not happen. Let's share and discuss together!

?1. There are so many reasons for not replying to a message!

In life, we toss out a topic and are really excited to see if someone will pick it up and respond positively and promptly. We all want to be seen, accepted, and affirmed.

It's so easy to worry when you don't get a reply to your messages. It can make you think, "Am I not liked or accepted by others?"

There are so many different ways we can respond, and they can all be so positive! We can respond with a kind word, or we can respond with a gentle "no."

My sweet young nephew, who is in junior high school, once gave me some advice: "Auntie, even if you don't think you need to reply to a message, when you receive it, please reply with 'OK'."

His advice was just to make sure I got the message. I totally understood his needs and was happy to accept his advice.

So, you can also directly explain your emotional needs to your boyfriend. It's okay to do this! You can say something like, "I need to feel secure by getting a timely response after I send a message. I can sleep well only when I feel at ease."

? 2. It's possible that your low self-worth is playing a role here.

If your partner doesn't reply to your messages, it can make you feel really nervous and anxious. You might even start to wonder if there's something wrong with you or if he doesn't like you.

These thoughts are often caused by self-doubt and self-negation, which can lead to a low sense of worth.

Your sense of worth is something you have to decide for yourself. If you were often criticized, blamed, or rejected by your parents when you were young, it can be easy to start thinking that's how you see yourself.

It's so easy to become sensitive, suspicious, fragile, and inferior, isn't it? When something happens, the first thing you think is that you've done something wrong and that you're no longer attractive.

There are so many reasons why the other person might not reply to a message! They might have forgotten, they might have read it and decided they don't need to reply, or they might not have thought of a good response yet. It's not necessarily just one of your own possibilities.

And there's another thing you can do to boost your self-confidence: give yourself lots of positive feedback! A confident girl is more worthy of love because confidence will make you shine.

I really think you'd benefit from reading the books "The Power of Self-Growth" and "It Turns Out That Understanding Is More Important Than Love." I hope you have a life filled with lots of love!

I really hope this helps you, and I love you and the world so much!

If you'd like to keep the conversation going, I'd love for you to follow my personal page, Heart Exploration Service.

Hello, I'm listening!

Life is always full of surprises, and the unknown can sometimes make us feel a little uneasy.

It seems like this boy's change from sending you good morning greetings every day to not sending them later made you feel a little uneasy. I can understand why! You had so many thoughts in your mind, and you thought about your ex-boyfriend's betrayal during the previous relationship and the rejection of your confession during the ambiguous period. These experiences of failed relationships made you worry, while also feeling painful and scared.

It's not your fault, sweetheart. Don't deny or doubt yourself, okay?

I know how it feels to be torn between two lovers. It can feel like it's happened, but at the same time, it can also feel like it hasn't. Uncertain emotions can really make people feel crazy because our human instinct is to feel safe and secure only when there is a sense of certainty. But it's okay! We all feel this way sometimes. From time to time, you may also wonder what you did wrong.

It's totally normal to have all these thoughts and feelings swirling around in your head. You might be questioning yourself and your feelings, or even wondering if you should stick it out for just a few days.

Oh, he was the one who chased after you, wasn't he? I can see why you gave up so easily.

It's okay to have these thoughts. We all do. You have so many thoughts and emotions, you can write them all down and verify each one with the guy, without emotion.

Hey there, friend. I know it's tough, but try to accept the pain from before. Your feelings are speaking, and they're trying to tell you something.

It's totally normal to have these feelings. Don't be afraid of them! They're your friend, and you can ask them anything.

I have a suggestion for you:

It's totally normal to feel insecure and anxious when you're uncertain and feel like you're being abandoned.

You are already wonderful, just the way you are! It can be tough to know what someone is thinking after they've done something, but you've already figured that out. So, if you ask with confidence and get a clear answer, do you think that will help you feel better?

Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that these are just thoughts and ideas.

2. It's totally okay! You haven't verified these thoughts and ideas yet, and they're not real.

We can only control our own affairs, thoughts, and ideas. It's okay, we can't control others, so let's just leave it to God and do our best!

3. Let's accept reality together.

It's okay to accept what has happened, to feel your emotions, and then to move on to what's next. Let time be your friend. What matters is not just the result, but also the process.

Hello, question asker! I'm June Lai Feng, and I'm excited to help you!

From your account, I can sense your inner anxiety, but I also sense your resilience! The nature and quality of the relationship and the sense of experience affect your mental health, and I'm excited to see how you'll grow and thrive.

A good relationship is a wonderful thing! It can provide us with emotional support, help us cope with stress and life challenges, enhance our sense of happiness and satisfaction, strengthen our sense of self-worth and self-esteem, and promote personal maturity and psychological growth.

While relationships are a two-person thing, it might not be the right time yet. And it's not anyone's fault! The mindset of love will guide the direction of our relationship. For example, if your previous relationship experience has made you a little hurt, you might be a little afraid of falling in love.

In other words, past relationship experiences influence how open you are to new relationships. But don't worry! You can overcome any internalized fears, insecurities, or self-esteem issues that might prevent you from forming deep connections with others and communicating and expressing your emotions effectively.

Love experiences have a significant impact on an individual's ability to trust, especially those that are profound or traumatic.

If they experience betrayal in an early relationship, such as infidelity or cheating by their partner, they may develop a sense of mistrust towards new partners. This is a great opportunity for them to learn and grow! This mistrust may stem from a fear of being hurt again, but they can work through it and become stronger.

Some people may become more sensitive and vulnerable to trust after experiencing a hurt. Even in the absence of obvious signs that mistrust is justified, they may have difficulty trusting their new partner completely and may become more cautious and distrustful in the new relationship.

Some people maintain a degree of distance in a new relationship to protect themselves from harm. This self-protection mechanism may prevent trust from being established, but it's a great way to ensure you're in a relationship that's right for you!

An unstable or conflict-ridden relationship can make you feel anxious, insecure, and unloved. But there's no need to fret! You can take steps to boost your self-esteem and self-image. Neglect, criticism, or betrayal in a relationship can lower your self-esteem and self-image. But you can work to change this!

The good news is that positive experiences in relationships, such as loyalty and support, can strengthen an individual's ability to trust. These positive experiences can become the cornerstone for trust in future relationships!

Ready to supercharge your ability to fall in love and have a fantastic experience?

The first step is to get to know yourself! Learn about your needs, values, and emotional patterns. Take the time to understand what you really want and what you value from past relationships. What do you want to avoid? This will help you choose the right person for you and handle problems in a relationship better.

Second, it's time to level up your self-confidence! Learn new skills, get your body moving, and make your appearance pop.

And there's more! Keeping your independence and personal space in a relationship while not relying too heavily on the other person can really make your relationship healthier.

Next, get out there and try new things! Join interest groups, take part in activities, or make new friends.

And remember, be open and curious about new people and experiences! Don't let past experiences close your heart.

And finally, the most important thing is that you get to decide for yourself when and if you fall in love. What matters is that you find a pace and approach that suits you.

You are worthy of love and happiness! Don't let one person's actions make you doubt yourself. New opportunities are always on the horizon, and you never know who you might meet along the way. Take care of your well-being, respect your feelings, and believe in yourself!

The world and I love you! I wish you so much happiness!

My dear friend, I can feel your unease and anxiety. These feelings are completely normal, especially when you are emotionally involved and expect regularity and stability. In a relationship, the regularity of communication and responses is very important to each of us, and it can give us a sense of security and being valued.

Your experiences, especially previous breakups, have undoubtedly increased your sensitivity to this communication pattern. It's totally normal to feel this way! People seek security and predictability in relationships, and when these are threatened, our brains trigger a stress response.

It's totally normal to feel this way! From a psychological perspective, your reaction may be related to your attachment style. Attachment theory suggests that our early attachment experiences influence our relationship patterns as adults.

For example, people with an anxious attachment style may be overly sensitive to their partner's silence or changes, worrying that it is a sign that the relationship is coming to an end. People with a secure attachment style, on the other hand, are more able to trust their partner and remain calm even when communication breaks down.

It's possible that you have an anxious attachment style, which is when you're really preoccupied with your partner and have a strong fear of being separated from them.

It's so important to try to understand the reasons behind your feelings. You can look back at past experiences and see if there are any patterns that keep recurring.

At the same time, it's really helpful to think about what you want from the relationship and how you'd like to be treated. It's also a good idea to keep a record of how you feel and what happens in your life.

This helps us to better understand our emotional patterns and find possible coping strategies, which is really helpful!

We all know that communication in a relationship isn't always smooth sailing. It's only natural to feel anxious when waiting for a response, and it's easy to fall into a spiral of self-doubt.

This unease and anxiety come from a place of fear about the unknown and uncertainty about your own value. But remember what the wise ones said: "Don't rejoice in other people's happiness, nor grieve over your own misfortune."

It's so important to learn to stay calm in the face of emotional fluctuations and not be swayed by temporary silences.

When we're feeling a bit uneasy, it's a great idea to take the initiative and express our concerns in a kind and tactful way. This will not only help us feel better, but it'll also let the other person know how we're feeling and what we're hoping for.

It's so important to be clear with the other person about what you need and want. When you set boundaries, you're protecting yourself from getting too involved, and you're also letting the other person know how to get along with you.

As we go through this process, we can learn how to express our emotions and also learn how to listen to the other person.

It's so important to treasure emotional independence. While we're waiting for a response, it's good to remember to stay true to ourselves and not let our emotions affect our daily lives.

When anxiety strikes, take a deep breath and try to relax. It's also a good idea to try to stay detached from the situation and not let temporary silences become all there is in your life.

Every relationship takes time to develop, and that's okay! While waiting for a response, it's a great idea to give the other person enough space and time to let the relationship grow at a natural pace.

Second, you can try to focus on yourself and do something you like, like reading, exercising, or meeting with friends. These activities can help you feel more relaxed and distracted from your worries.

You might also find it helpful to read some books on attachment theory and communication skills, such as "Intimate Relationships" and "Nonviolent Communication." These books can help you better understand your attachment style and learn how to effectively communicate your needs and feelings.

Don't worry about silence during an uncertain time. It's just a small ripple in your emotional world. Find answers in silence, be patient while waiting, and enhance understanding through communication.

It's only by embracing all the different feelings that come our way that we can eventually find happiness.

When we're facing uncertainty and anxiety in a romantic relationship, it can help to understand these emotions and behaviors from a psychological perspective and how to deal with them.

Attachment theory suggests that our early experiences shape how we form relationships and respond to intimacy. If we had a secure attachment in childhood, we're likely to trust and feel secure with our partner. However, if we had insecure attachments, we may worry excessively, feel uneasy, or avoid intimacy.

So, your anxiety in a romantic relationship might be related to your early attachment experiences, which is something you might want to think about in more detail.

Secondly, anxiety and unease are often a sign that we need to improve our emotional regulation. When we encounter uncertainty or uncontrollable situations, our emotions become unstable, which leads to increased anxiety.

It might help to try some emotional regulation methods, such as deep breathing, meditation, exercise, etc., to help you calm down and enhance your ability to cope with challenges.

On top of that, how you see yourself and what you think you're worth also affects how you do in a romantic relationship. If you don't have a strong sense of self-worth and are quick to rely on external recognition and relationships to maintain it, you'll be more likely to be affected by the words and actions of others, which can lead to anxiety and unease.

It's a good idea to work on your self-awareness and build a sense of self-worth. Don't rely too much on other people to define your happiness and value.

In a romantic relationship, good communication and clear boundary setting are key. When you feel uneasy, you can take the initiative to communicate with your partner and express your feelings and needs. This way, you can work together to find a solution.

It's also important to learn to set personal boundaries to protect your emotions and needs, and not rely too heavily on other people's responses to maintain your emotional stability.

If you're struggling to cope with your emotions and confusion, it might be helpful to speak to a counselor. A professional can help you understand your emotions and behavior patterns, provide effective coping strategies, and help you rebuild a healthy concept of romantic relationships and behavior patterns.

I'll give you an example to illustrate this.

Let's say someone has been hurt in the past by being cheated on and betrayed. This can make them uneasy and anxious in new relationships. If the other person is a little late or doesn't reply to messages quickly, they can worry that the other person may be cheating on them or changing their mind.

This behavior might be a result of past traumatic experiences, making him overly sensitive and fearful of uncertainty in a new relationship. To address this, he can communicate honestly with the other person, express his feelings and needs, and also learn to let go of past pain, establish trust and security in the new relationship, and learn to control his anxiety and avoid over-reliance on the other person's behavior to maintain his emotional stability.

This is the only way to establish a healthy romantic relationship and move towards a more stable future.

In short, when you're feeling anxious or insecure in a relationship, you can resolve the problem by understanding your emotions and needs better, learning to regulate your emotions and communicate to resolve problems, and establishing a healthy self-awareness and boundaries. I hope you find happiness and balance, step out of the shadow of anxiety, and welcome a beautiful relationship.

It's crucial to understand that these feelings are normal, especially during the initial stages of a relationship when expectations and uncertainty are high. Here are some effective strategies to help you navigate these feelings:

1. Self-reflection: Identify the reasons behind your feelings. Are you setting the bar too high for the relationship, or are you particularly sensitive to the fear of rejection?

Knowing and understanding your emotions is the key to managing them effectively.

2. Communicate. If you've known each other for a while and have a basis for communication, it's time to talk. Tell him you're uncomfortable with his silence and ask if there's something going on or if his feelings have changed.

3. Set boundaries. Be clear about what you will and won't accept. If you feel uneasy about not responding to messages frequently, set a rule. For example, you could decide to reply to messages at least once a day or at a specific time.

This will help you reduce the anxiety caused by uncertainty.

4. Stay confident. Your value does not depend on whether you get a response or acceptance. Stay confident, do the things you enjoy, and focus on your own growth and happiness.

5. Give time. Don't jump to conclusions. People may not be able to respond for a variety of reasons, and that doesn't necessarily mean they are uninterested or have negative thoughts.

6. Get professional help. If you can't cope with these feelings on your own, seek help from a professional counselor. They'll provide strategies and tools to help you manage your emotions and build self-confidence.

7. Accept the possible outcomes. Not every relationship will develop into a romantic one. Sometimes friendship is a beautiful form of relationship.

8. Expand your social circle. Don't focus all your attention on one person. Make new friends and expand your social circle. This will reduce your dependence on a single relationship.

Finally, you must take care of your emotional and mental health. If you are feeling pain, you must take action to alleviate that pain.

No matter what happens, you can learn and grow from it.

It is evident that you have recently initiated a romantic relationship that is currently in a state of ambiguity. However, the abrupt cessation of communication from your partner has instilled a sense of apprehension within you. Given your previous experience of a distressing separation, this turn of events has served to rekindle your feelings of unease.

Despite the recent onset of this situation, you find yourself perplexed by his actions and concerned that he may have lost interest in pursuing a relationship with you.

You are concerned about your ability to communicate effectively and are particularly anxious about a potential shift in his demeanor. I can discern the current state of distress, confusion, and apprehension you are experiencing.

These emotions have their roots in psychological trauma caused by painful past romantic experiences. The abrupt cessation of responses from the other person has given rise to concerns about the potential for adverse outcomes in the future.

You have misgivings about his attitude and are concerned that the relationship may not succeed, which has eroded your confidence. You feel that, at your core, you desire a stable and healthy intimate relationship, but you are afraid of being rejected.

The primary cause of your distress is your excessive investment in the other person.

When individuals invest a disproportionate amount of emotional energy in another person, they frequently neglect their own feelings. It is therefore important to adjust one's mindset.

It is important to be aware of one's emotions, to accept one's feelings, and to refrain from suppressing them. Attempting to calm oneself and allow emotions to subside can be beneficial. This can be achieved through techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or engaging in relaxing activities.

Once a state of emotional stability has been achieved, it is possible to attempt communication with the other person. This should entail a direct expression of feelings and an inquiry as to whether the other person has any questions. It is important to remain calm and avoid emotional distress during this process.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to engage in activities that serve as a distraction, such as focusing on work, studies, or hobbies. It may also be helpful to arrange time to chat with friends or go for a walk, as these can assist in adjusting one's mindset.

Sincerely,

Hello. I see you're confused and I'll try to explain. I don't want to say if it's your problem or his. I'll just talk about what I know from you and your words and actions.

Give him a hug. You haven't been in a serious relationship for years, and you're most sensitive to the ambiguous period when the guy doesn't reply to your messages. You'll have some reactions, such as sleeping badly and thinking too much.

You will encounter guys cheating or getting broken up with.

You'll still worry that the other person hates you. You used to say good morning and good night every day, but then you stopped. You'll think too much because you had an agreement, and your previous experience will make you feel bad. But you're also struggling with the fact that this isn't the whole story. Hug you again, the original poster.

When your boyfriend or guy ignores you, go do something on your own and concentrate on your own things. Don't think negatively. You worry too much. Focus on yourself, and you won't think about the other person.

Don't rush. Slow is fast. I hope the original poster learns to love herself.

This issue may involve a number of factors, including personal character, living environment, social circle, work, and personal interests. Some possible reasons could be:

1. Self-assessment: If it has been several years since you have been in a serious relationship, it might be helpful to consider whether there are any areas in which you could improve. For instance, do you feel that you could benefit from developing your self-confidence or communication skills, or do you tend to be cautious in relationships, which might mean that you miss out on some opportunities?

2. Social circle: If you usually have fewer social activities, you may have less opportunity to meet new people. You might like to consider expanding your social circle and trying to participate in interest groups, community activities, or volunteer activities, as these can all help increase the chances of meeting new people.

3. Time and energy: It is understandable that everyone has a certain amount of energy and time to devote to work and study during a certain period of time. It is also not uncommon for lack of time and energy to be a contributing factor.

4. Life stage: Attitudes and expectations towards love and relationships can evolve over time, particularly as we navigate different life stages. For instance, relationships may take on a different shape when we are focused on our careers or have significant family responsibilities.

5. Psychological factors: Some people may be more cautious about relationships, or may have conservative or resistant attitudes towards new relationships.

6. The problem with boys: It cannot be denied that the attitudes and behaviors of boys can also affect the development of a relationship. For example, some boys may be too shy or not as adept at expressing their emotions, or they may be uncertain about relationships and not actively express their interest in a particular person.

It would be inaccurate to say that this is a problem for you or a problem for boys. It is important to reflect on yourself, identify your own shortcomings, and also understand the diversity of others.

Everyone has their own rhythm and approach, and there is no single, universal pattern that applies to everyone. Learning to be kind to yourself and to others can help you understand this better.

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to give you a big hug!

I think your current problems may be related to your sense of security, sweetheart.

This often has its roots in a relationship you had with your mother when you were just a little one.

It's totally possible that at that time, your mom didn't respond to your needs right away every time you cried.

So from that time on, you might feel like the whole world is unsafe.

So when you're in a relationship, you'll naturally look to your partner for a sense of security.

But you're a whole new person now!

For example, you've grown so much since you were a child! You're taller, your body is stronger, and you have more strength in your heart.

So now that you've grown up and become an adult, you can give yourself a sense of security, my dear.

If you're still feeling confused, it might be helpful to chat with a professional counselor.

The counselor is a professional and will be able to give you some great advice.

I really hope the problem you're having gets solved for you soon!

Now, all I can think of is the above.

I really hope my answer helps and inspires you, the questioner! I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Wishing you the best!

Take care!

Dear questioner, I can totally relate to how you're feeling, and I really hope that my reply will be able to support you.

I'm so sorry you've been going through a rough time in your love life. It can be really tough when a relationship ends, especially when it's followed by a lack of communication. I can relate to this, as I've been in a similar situation myself. My ex didn't reply to me and ended up cheating. There were also a few ambiguous situations where he didn't reply to me, and then I took the initiative to confess and lost. It's a painful experience, I know. It's especially hard when a guy doesn't reply to your messages and it makes you lose sleep.

It's also time to face the truth. We all like the familiar, and during the period of being particularly in love, it feels really good to be pampered. Your boyfriend's greetings are especially important to you, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! It is also possible to break this pattern. Girls can also take the initiative, and that's a great thing! Just reminding the other person and letting yourself sleep peacefully is also pretty good.

It's so important to remember that relationships require cooperation from both sides. You have the power to take the lead, make your own choices, and control your own destiny. It's totally normal for the other person not to reply to you, and it's also a good thing that you're not wasting each other's time. I'm sure you'll agree with me on that!

If the other person doesn't reply to you in time, it's only natural to feel a bit down. It's okay to feel emotional and to have trouble sleeping. But how much do you expect? Expectation can be overwhelming, that's for sure! A relationship between two people also requires long-term adjustment. What value can you bring to the other person? What are the things that attract him to you? These are also manifestations of your comprehensive abilities.

When you believe in yourself, have your own standards, and communicate sincerely, you'll find that others will be drawn to you. It's not your fault if a relationship doesn't work out. Some guys have no confidence in themselves and might reject others. Some are also passive and don't show their advantages, and they miss out. Do you agree?

Give yourself the gift of fate, the right to choose, and the chance to keep growing and improving yourself.

Wishing you the very best!

Hello, question asker.

I can tell you really want to fall in love and have high expectations for love. But because of past hurtful experiences, you're very sensitive and insecure. This makes it hard for you to know how to fall in love and how to make sure the other person loves you.

The rules you mentioned for how the other person responds to you, like good morning and good night, are actually meant to give you a sense of certainty and security.

But does someone who says good morning and good night definitely like you? Not necessarily.

It could just be a habit, or maybe they don't know what to talk about except good morning and good night.

If you get along well, even if you don't exchange good mornings and good nights, and you share topics that you both enjoy discussing, and you have a great time chatting, this also greatly enhances the relationship.

From what you've told me about your love experiences, you were always the one waiting passively for a reply.

Waiting for someone to respond, not being able to wait for a reply, and discovering infidelity.

The person in an ambiguous relationship suddenly stops responding.

In an ambiguous state, we just enjoy the ambiguity. This is a state of incomplete love, where the two people are attracted to each other and waiting to see who will be more proactive. You just need to set a time limit for this ambiguity. A guy who keeps you in an ambiguous state is not worth it. Either he has other romantic interests, or he doesn't like you that much.

Even if you make the first move, it shows you're courageous. But it's even better to attract men with your charm.

This means understanding your own value, feeling worthy, and knowing you're not just waiting around to be chosen.

How we relate to others is often a reflection of how we relate to ourselves.

Take a moment to ask yourself, do you like yourself?

If you're a guy, would you like to fall in love with yourself?

What do you find endearing about her?

I'm sure you have your own answer.

When you like yourself a lot, you'll attract people who like you too!

Best of luck!

Dear question asker,

Perhaps you could share a warm hug?

Your confusion: "I haven't been in a serious relationship for years. I tend to worry that when a relationship is still in its early stages, I might be particularly sensitive to the fact that the other person doesn't reply to my messages.

In my previous relationships, I have not encountered this issue. However, I have experienced a few painful breakups. In one case, my ex-boyfriend did not respond to me, and it turned out that he was cheating on me. In several other cases, the relationship became ambiguous, and he did not respond to me. In those instances, I confessed, and it did not go well. This time, I thought this guy would be different. We had already met in life and become friends. We talked for almost a week and made a date to go drinking on Friday. However, he did not respond to me from Thursday night to Friday morning.

It's Friday morning here. He has been good about saying good morning and good night to me every day.

It just feels like it's only been a week, and I'm wondering why it's so painful. I keep checking my phone when he doesn't reply, and I'm having trouble sleeping at night, waking up every few hours. I don't mind not talking to the guy, but I'm afraid of not having a rule for chatting. He gave me the impression before that we would say good morning and good night every day, very regularly.

I can't help but feel that his silence might be a sign that he's either no longer interested or that something has happened to make him reconsider our relationship. It also reminds me of the hurt I suffered before. I know it's hard to tell what he's thinking.

I can't help but feel a bit bad about it. What do you think I should do?

I wonder if I should adjust or if this is actually a sign that he is not the right person.

From your description, I can see that you have a very good sense of self-awareness. It seems that the biggest challenge you're facing right now is your fear of falling in love and your uncertainty about how to navigate it.

Perhaps the first step is to take a moment to reflect on your own feelings. It's important to remember that two people in love are also two independent souls who need to respect each other. As you mentioned, your best friend says good morning and good night to you every day. If he suddenly stops saying good morning and good night to you, it might be natural to wonder if it means that he doesn't love you anymore. Is there any other explanation?

For instance, if he is extremely busy and tired today and doesn't have time to reply to you, could that be a potential explanation? Secondly, he has been taking the initiative all along, but he hasn't received the response he deserves. Perhaps it would be helpful for you to take the initiative for him a little bit. Is that also another answer?

Perhaps we shouldn't be so presumptuous and assume that our thoughts and feelings are universally shared. It might be helpful to cultivate a sense of self-assurance and belief in our own value and worth. It's possible that someone who truly cares for us will eventually find their way to us.

Perhaps we could discuss the potential issues that have arisen. Is it the case that you are unsure about entering into a new relationship, or is it simply the damage that has been caused to you personally? Could there be a more realistic explanation?

Perhaps you haven't yet met your ideal partner because you haven't yet met him. Could it be that you're not yet in love? Or is it possible that you're not ready to be in love? You feel content being single, and you believe that being hurt is the reason why. Is there anything wrong with feeling hurt?

It's important to remember that the past is the past. It's not helpful to dwell on past events and allow them to affect your present situation. I'd like to share a personal insight with you: every hurt brings something good. Just like when we fell down as kids, we slowly learned to walk. It's crucial to recognize that the damage done by the individual in question will not affect your future dating prospects. Instead, you will gain valuable insights and learn to protect yourself, grow up, and mature. You will also have the opportunity to express gratitude to those who have hurt you.

Perhaps it would be helpful to talk about the Friday date. Since the guy hasn't asked you out again and you're interested in going on a date with him, it might be a good idea to ask him directly if he has anything else planned on Friday. If not, you could go ahead with the date. If so, you might want to consider changing the time. Instead of waiting around, it's always good to take action.

That's all for now. I hope this has been helpful.

I understand your pain and anxiety. Uncertainty in a relationship can cause stress. This anxiety is not just because you have met a guy who doesn't reply to your messages. It is also because of some painful experiences you have had in the past.

These experiences may have made you think relationships are bad.

In this case, try to adjust your state of mind and emotions. Consider the following points:

This anxiety and unease is normal. Don't beat yourself up or worry too much.

These emotions are a signal to pay attention to your needs.

Don't rely on the boy's responses to know if he's interested or right for you. People's thoughts and behavior are often influenced by many factors.

Learn to relax. Try sports, meditation, or reading.

Talk to friends or a counselor.

Take some time to calm down before making a decision about this boy. Think about whether he's right for you and if you're ready to invest more in the relationship.

You can also find out if he is interested in you by talking to him.

Don't let past experiences affect your confidence and expectations for the future. Every relationship is unique, so don't give up on love easily.

Believe in yourself and you will find the right person.

Hello, questioner.

You're confused. Falling in love should be happy and beautiful, but why are you already suffering from loss, gain, tension, anxiety, self-doubt, and other negative emotions during this ambiguous period? "Do I need to adjust, or is this person wrong?" Let's explore together.

You are anxious and restless.

On Friday morning, you posted a question on a forum. Since your "ambiguous object did not reply to your message" the night before, it triggered your anxiety and unease, causing you to keep checking your phone. You didn't sleep well that night and woke up every few hours. You need to understand how your anxiety and unease arose.

1 is an external objective reason. He has been saying good morning and good night to you for a week, which shows he has good feelings towards you. You have arranged to go for a drink on Friday, so it is only natural to wait for his reply. This shows you also have good feelings towards him and are looking forward to this date.

However, if he doesn't reply all night, you will feel lost. This is normal. It means he has more important things to deal with than replying to your message.

2. You can't regulate this sense of loss, which triggers a lot of bad associations. Your mind knows it's difficult to judge his thoughts based on this behavior, but your heart still feels uncomfortable.

We have found that the trigger for anxiety and restlessness is an inability to regulate the sense of loss from being ignored.

You need to take control. What should you do?

Let's get back to your question. Even if it's not this boy, how do you handle feeling lost and neglected in other intimate relationships, like family and friends? If you can, use what you know about successful experiences in love to help you. If not, you need to learn new ways to regulate this kind of negative emotion, which is emotional neglect. For example, vent your emotions by talking to someone or writing freely. Don't get stuck in your emotions and let them pile up from loss to anxiety to self-doubt.

[How to handle the relationship with an ambiguous object]

Use interactions with your crush as an opportunity to develop your relationship and gain experience in getting to know someone.

For example, you need to decide how you will screen your romantic partners and what behaviors you will not accept in them. You also need to identify what attracts you to them.

What is their common point? Think more specifically about the impact of "saying good morning and good night every day" on you. Does this behavior itself increase your favorable impression? The answer is yes. Even if you don't know the person, as long as they can gain your favor in this way, they will be able to get your favor.

You have suffered a lot of emotional trauma, but you still believe in love and pursue it bravely. That makes you very rare. Love is an adventure for the brave. You can grow and gain experience on this journey.

I am confident this will be helpful.

I am Potato Man, who has grown up with you. Thank you for your attention.

1. There is no necessary relationship between love and prompt replies to messages.

The timeliness of a response to a message is not a reliable indicator of the veracity of the message's content.

It is possible that the person you love and who loves you may not be able to reply to you in a timely manner every day. For example, your parents do not check their phones every second to reply to you.

The expectation of prompt responses to messages from the other person constitutes a demand on them.

2. Requesting that others perform certain actions may result in personal distress.

In the event that the other person does not reply to the message in a timely manner, it is not possible to alter their behaviour through one's own actions. It is not feasible to force oneself to be virtuous and thereby prompt the other person to reply to the message in a more expedient manner.

It is similarly unlikely that you will be able to force the other person to reply to your messages in a timely manner. If you hold these two kinds of thoughts, you will only be able to change or improve the situation to a limited extent.

If one maintains a constant expectation of a prompt response from the other party to one's messages, it is inevitable that one will experience distress when contemplating the relationship.

3. It is inadvisable to impose binding requirements.

Given that each individual is an independent entity, imposing a requirement for the other person to respond to messages in a timely manner will result in a mutual obligation to adhere to this stipulation. This approach is incompatible with the flexibility required to navigate the nuances of actual situations.

For example, if one's occupation is relatively relaxed and one's partner's is one where he is not allowed to check his phone, then it is unlikely that he will be able to reply to one's messages in a timely manner.

If he goes to great lengths to satisfy your requests at work, even if it entails contravening work regulations, and responds to your messages promptly, then the conflict shifts to one between him and his superior. You will not be concerned with whether he responds to your messages or with the timeliness of his responses.

The act of responding to the demands of others and fulfilling their requests can be a significantly exhausting experience. This underscores the necessity for relationships to entail a certain degree of give and take from both parties.

To reduce this kind of consumption, it is necessary to communicate and adjust according to the actual situation.

Falling in love is a beautiful thing. Both parties in a relationship will get along with each other and develop a beautiful yearning for love, great enthusiasm, and a serious and responsible attitude. These three conditions are essential for the development of love. Of course, these three conditions alone are not enough; you also need to consider other factors such as values, appearance, and education to determine whether the other person is suitable for you.

Ambiguity is a relationship of uncertain nature and ambiguity. It is like a friend, but also beyond the boundaries of a friend's relationship. Such a relationship is relatively flexible, and it is difficult to determine what responsibilities both parties should bear. At the same time, the enthusiasm, attitudes and expectations invested by both parties are different. There may be cynical banter, or there may be some beautiful expectations, but they are not very stable or certain. Such a relationship usually gives people a feeling of being more relaxed and comfortable, but at the same time, it can easily lead to anxiety about gains and losses.

A normal and serious relationship is not the only option. This kind of relationship may seem less "normal" and "serious," but it is just as valid. It is not immoral or shameful. It is simply a relationship that meets the needs of both parties. Furthermore, this relationship model has a greater impact than the happiness of the two people together.

Ambiguity is not well understood or accepted by society in many cases.

It is clear that relationships are built between two people together, and one person cannot do it alone. The information provided by the questioner makes it evident that they are uneasy about entering into a serious and intimate relationship. This unease is caused by some unidentified issues within their mentality. It is also evident that they are attracted to others with similar mindsets. These individuals show words and deeds that attract the questioner, who responds to their own attraction. This results in the formation of an ambiguous relationship.

The questioner must change his or her mentality and learn to have a proper relationship. To do so, he or she needs to identify and solve the underlying problem.

Dear, I can see how you're feeling, and I'm here to help! It's totally normal to feel anxious and uneasy when things change in a relationship, especially after a painful breakup. It's like your emotions are confused!

Your sensitive reaction to the boy not replying to your messages was a great reminder of old wounds and feelings of loss and abandonment.

First, I want you to know that it is completely normal to feel the way you do. And that's a good thing! Your need for emotional security is one of the universal human emotional needs, and it's a great one!

Your reactions, disturbed sleep, and psychological unease are totally normal physical and psychological reactions when your emotional needs aren't being met.

Now, let's take a closer look at your distress and explore how you can regulate your feelings and gain a deeper understanding of the current situation.

First, it is worth noting the patterns of emotional dependence and the resulting emotional states. In a relationship, an over-reliance on the other person's response can lead to extreme anxiety. But there is hope!

Just imagine for a moment that your emotional state is always determined by the immediacy of the other person's response. It's a great way of looking at things! It means that you are putting a lot of emotional control in the hands of the other person, which is a wonderful thing. It's a great way of ensuring that you have your own emotional independence.

We've got some great suggestions that will help you balance your emotional state!

1. **Self-care and emotional regulation**: You can absolutely develop tools for self-care and techniques for emotional regulation! Try activities such as meditation, journaling, and exercise. They can help you focus on the present and resist the urge to over-focus on your phone.

2. **Establish emotional boundaries:** This is an exciting step! It allows you to set clear emotional boundaries. Be honest about the emotions you are willing to give and receive in a relationship.

Embrace the unknown while staying true to yourself and your worth!

3. **Reflection on the past**: It's time to look at how your current reaction is related to past experiences. Are you repeating past patterns of behavior, or are you consciously choosing to respond differently to similar emotional triggers?

4. **Rational analysis and insight**: There are so many reasons why the guy might not be replying! Maybe he's got a busy work schedule, personal problems, or other obligations. Not replying doesn't necessarily mean he's treating the relationship lightly.

5. **Positive communication**: If you are constantly filled with suspicion and anxiety, direct communication is the best way out. You can express your feelings and the need for regular contact, and also ask if there is anything that is preventing your partner from responding. This is your chance to take control and make things better!

6. **Broaden your focus in life**: Spread your energy as far and wide as you can! Distribute your energy as much as possible to more areas of life, such as your career, hobbies, friendships, etc. This will prevent you from becoming overly dependent on a single relationship.

When it comes to how you act, remember to respect yourself and be aware of your emotional needs. And guess what? The decision of whether a guy is "the one" doesn't depend on whether he responds or not! It depends on a wide range of factors in the course of a broader process of getting to know each other and building trust.

Everyone's behavior in an emotional relationship is influenced by their own fears, expectations, and history. Sometimes there is unspoken pain, misunderstanding, or miscommunication behind the behavior, but there are ways to work through these issues and come out stronger on the other side!

When you're feeling unsure, it's a great idea to seek clear communication whenever you can! This can help you avoid constructing stories alone, which can sometimes cause momentary discomfort. But it also opens up the opportunity for deeper and more authentic mutual understanding!

In the process, give yourself time and space to feel and heal, and remember that you deserve a relationship that is equal, fulfilling, and mutually supportive. You're going to find that inner peace, and you're going to commit to building a loving, understanding, and secure relationship!

Blessings and hugs! May your heart grow stronger with each sunrise!

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my appreciation for your words, which resonate with me as if I were in your presence. Kind regards,

It appears that you have experienced some setbacks in your romantic relationships. You have mentioned that you have not been in a serious relationship for years and have experienced a few painful breakups. You have also encountered instances of cold and violent behavior, such as not replying to messages, as well as betrayal through infidelity. I can see that you are confused and disoriented, and I want to reassure you that I am here to support you. Given your experiences, you may be particularly sensitive to the responses of potential romantic partners.

In this case, it is challenging to determine whether the issue lies with you or with the other individual. It is possible that it is a combination of both.

Firstly, it is understandable to experience feelings of unease and anxiety when the other party does not respond to messages during this ambiguous period. Furthermore, previous experiences have made you more sensitive to this situation and prone to associate it with a negative outcome.

Once negative thoughts take hold in your mind, they can influence the course of events. For example, you may feel that your partner's silence indicates disinterest or even animosity. However, it is important to recognize that everyone's actions and thoughts are complex, and it is not possible to determine another person's intentions or the outcome of a situation based on a single action.

In this situation, the following points may assist you in coping:

1. You can inquire tactfully as to whether there is a reason for the lack of response to your messages, while also expressing your expectations and concerns about the relationship. Through communication, you can gain a better understanding of the other person's thoughts and attitudes.

2. It is important to monitor your emotions and mental state. It is challenging to assess his thoughts based on his behavior.

"I understand the reasoning, and I can try some relaxing activities, such as sports, reading, meditation, etc., to help relieve anxiety and stress."

Additionally, it may be beneficial to engage in self-affirmation exercises, such as repeating positive affirmations like "I am unique and worthy of love," to enhance self-confidence and security.

3. Remain independent and self-reliant. "I don't mind saying no to social interactions with other individuals, but I'm hesitant to implement a set of rules for social interactions." Don't rely too heavily on the other person's response to define your own sense of worth and happiness.

It is important to maintain your own independent interests and social life, and to ensure that the relationship does not become your sole focus.

It is not uncommon for relationships to require an investment of time before they reach a point of stability. It is important to avoid making assumptions or overinterpreting situations.

Allow yourselves sufficient time to become acquainted and to cultivate the relationship.

Ultimately, your feelings are the most important factor to consider. If you believe that this individual is not the optimal choice for a partner, or if the circumstances are causing you significant distress, it may be time to reassess your decision. It is essential to remember that everyone's experience and learning process in a relationship is unique. Therefore, it is crucial not to be overly critical of yourself or set expectations that are unattainable.

I would like to suggest two books for your consideration: The Five Love Languages and How to Fall in Love Again. Should you feel that your emotions and distress continue to affect your life, you may wish to consider seeking professional psychological counseling for more specific advice and support.

I would like to take this opportunity to encourage everyone to put the knowledge gained here into action, and to wish you all the best for the rest of your lives. May they be full of happiness.

Dear question asker,

From what you've shared, it seems that past relationships have left you with some emotional scars. This can make it challenging to trust and open up again in a new relationship. It's understandable to feel anxious and worried about being liked and losing someone you care about.

I can relate to your feelings. It's understandable that you're concerned about the possibility of losing again, which can naturally lead to feelings of worry and anxiety. I'm here to offer you a warm embrace as a gesture of support and comfort.

I can relate to your feelings. It's understandable that you're concerned about losing again, which can make you prone to worry and anxiety. I'm here to offer you a warm hug if you'd like.

It's important to remember that there is no right or wrong in relationships. It can be challenging to judge someone's attitude based on their absence of information. However, similar problems will likely arise in our future lives, regardless of what we do. Let's take a moment to explore the reasons for this and the subsequent countermeasures.

First of all, you seem to be quite sensitive about not being able to reply to your boyfriend's messages in time. Apart from the trauma caused by previous experiences, you may also lack a sense of security yourself, worrying about being betrayed and abandoned. And the reason for this insecurity may stem largely from your lack of self-confidence, not believing that you are attractive enough to attract the other person, and being afraid that the other person does not like you.

I would gently suggest that you consider working hard to improve yourself and become a better and more attractive person. At the same time, it might be helpful to try to discover your own strengths and see your own loveliness. Everyone has their own strengths, and I believe you also have your own unique charm that sets you apart from others and can attract a good partner.

I would gently encourage you to try to cheer yourself up and believe that you deserve to meet someone who loves you and that you deserve a good love. When you become confident, the light that radiates from you will naturally attract the opposite sex.

Secondly, being overly sensitive to your boyfriend's messages may indicate a degree of dependency on the relationship. Once you have made a decision or started to develop positive feelings, it might be helpful to consider maintaining a balance in your commitment to the relationship.

Such behavior may inadvertently lead to self-harm and create a sense of obligation in the other person in the relationship, which could potentially result in them distancing themselves from you.

Everyone is an independent individual. Just because two people fall in love and even get married, it doesn't necessarily mean that they become one, nor does it mean that they are interdependent. Both parties still have the right to retain their own space and freedom. It may be helpful to consider that, no matter what kind of state you are in right now, you might benefit from becoming more independent from the inside.

You are independent, and I believe that this quality allows you to form a win-win relationship with the other person.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to take your mind off the other person for a while and find something specific and interesting to do. It might be helpful to focus on the positive aspects of your life and seek out sources of joy in other people and other things. With more beauty to immerse yourself in, you may find that you are less sensitive to the other person's messages, and you might feel better.

It is also possible that the other person may take the initiative to contact you as a result of your apparent lack of interest.

I hope these suggestions are helpful for you. I wish you all the best in this journey.