Have never liked anyone for over thirty years, gone on ten blind dates, is there no hope left?

This situation is not uncommon. An increasing number of individuals are adopting more rigorous criteria when selecting a spouse. This can be viewed as a screening process to prevent divorce or the emergence of long-term grievances after marriage. Many individuals are apprehensive about marrying or being married to an unsuitable partner. Consequently, they often have high expectations of their partner.

For example, the bride price is 400,000 yuan, the monthly salary must exceed 200,000 yuan, the family has a house and a car, and it is optimal if the parents do not have any illnesses and do not live with their young children. The siblings should not rely on their parents, not lie down, not gossip, and be obedient to their parents and not hide any money. The requirements may not be as extreme as this, but they do reflect that the requirements for marriage are indeed becoming more and more complex. Some of the requirements are even challenging to achieve. A preference for solitude over social interaction may be a result of an inclination towards introversion.

However, the results also indicate that the standards for marriage are becoming increasingly complex, with some requirements proving challenging to fulfill. Your lack of interest in romantic relationships over the past 30 years may be attributed to your tendency to exhibit indifference rather than the passion commonly observed in others.

You are the type who tends to be calm. You have already met with your match more than ten times and have realized that you have encountered a bottleneck. Despite the fact that you have few demands, as long as you are compatible and possess a good temperament, the other person does not appear willing to let go. It will not be that simple.

They will utilize a microscope to observe you and ascertain whether you are deserving of your entire fortune. They will determine if you hold a 100% positive regard for another individual, which may be a prerequisite at the emotional level. Indeed, emotions can be cultivated, but it is not a topic that is typically discussed. The two of you are together as a result of mutual understanding.

Given the extent of your self-knowledge, it would be beneficial to gain insight into your inner personality and the reasons behind your difficulty in liking other people while still desiring marriage. To this end, I suggest you take the LifeBase psychological test, which will provide a more nuanced understanding of your personality. Alternatively, you may opt for a one-on-one interpretation. Best of luck!

Please clarify the meaning of ZQ.

My dear, I give you a big, warm cloud hug. I'm about the same age as you, so I really understand your current state of mind.

I truly believe that hope always exists, as long as you can hold onto that expectation.

Let's take a moment to understand what's going on for you right now.

It seems like you're looking for marriage when you meet someone, and you expect the woman to match your expectations in terms of personality and appearance. The girls you have met, however, expect the man to have financial means and a good appearance, and they also want to receive enough emotional care from the man. It is this last criterion that has repeatedly prevented the establishment of a marital relationship between you and the women you meet, leading to feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, and frustration, right?

I think the best thing you can do is take some time to think about what you really want and need.

1. You say you have never liked anyone else. Is it because you yourself have little desire for emotional needs? Or was it caused by the subtle influence of some "people around you" during your growth process?

I can sense that you're a very rational person who knows how to take care of a woman's feelings and needs. This is a rare quality, and I admire you for having it! I'm sure it's something your parents, relatives, and friends have helped you develop.

2. You say you can't like other people enough, but what level would you consider "enough"? I get the feeling you must have liked her quite a bit over the past 33 years!

3. Do you like yourself? I'd love to know what aspect of yourself you like the most!

I think you can answer this question yourself if you try.

It's really not that hard to find a partner just for the purpose of getting married. And don't worry, hope will always be there for you!

And it can be tough to know how to answer the question, "I'm unable to like other people."

I'm feeling a little simmering inside, and I'm sending love to the world and to you!

Hello, question asker.

From what you've shared, it seems like you're highly motivated to get married. This is wonderful! With such a strong desire, you're likely to find the journey full of energy. It's only been a little over a year, so it's understandable that you're already 33.

You are only 32, and if your city is a second-tier city, there may be quite a few people your age! It's understandable to feel a bit discouraged, but it's important to remember that there are still plenty of options out there.

As the saying goes, good food is never late. Furthermore, in today's situation, there are a great many high-quality older women.

You also have an excellent material foundation, which is something many people lack. This can be an attractive quality in a partner. It seems that you may have inadvertently improved your conditions for finding a girlfriend. What I mean is that you mentioned sufficient liking, but perhaps you feel that the other person's conditions do not meet your requirements.

From what I can gather from your question, you seem to be a man with a lot to offer. You have your own opinions and don't just go with the flow. I would gently encourage you not to be put off by the first few words you wrote:

At this point in time, my main objective is to find someone with whom I can build a life together, as long as we complement each other well and have similar personalities.

It may seem like I'm asking for a lot, but I think it's important to remember that it's not easy to meet these requirements after just a couple of interactions. Let's just say that you get along well temperament-wise. It can be challenging to find someone you get along with after just a few interactions, especially if you're both in your 30s and have developed certain habits over the years. If you say that you look very compatible and get along well with someone when you first meet or even after just a few interactions, just like a young boy and girl, it can be a sign that it might take some time. You both have a lot of life experience, so I think it's important to be prepared for this and take your time.

If I might offer you a bit of advice, it would be this: if you are thinking of getting married as soon as you find someone, then next time you go on a blind date, if you like the person, give it a try. There's no need to worry about whether you like each other enough, or whether the other person's requirements are enough to like or dislike, or whether you can't reach the level of liking someone else. Just get along with each other lightly and slowly, and give yourself enough time to come around. I think what you are saying is that you can't like someone else, and you may also be slow to warm up.

If you are really slow to warm up, it might be helpful to consider getting to know each other slowly. With a relatively good material foundation, you might find it beneficial to explore whether the two sides' views are consistent. For example, if there is a material foundation, you could consider going on a trip together. Some people say that traveling can be a great way to see how people get along. Here, traveling could include going to the supermarket and going for a walk, going to the park for a short time to play, and if you both like reading, you could go to the bookstore. In short, you might find it helpful to look for opportunities for the two of you to get in touch more often.

If you can manage to get in touch with two people once or twice, it would be wise to be careful in the process of contact and not to think of the other person as so perfect. It doesn't matter if we don't like them, as long as we don't dislike them. If we don't dislike them, we can ask them out for the next meeting. Through more contact and mutual adjustment, we can actually figure out how to like each other. In my opinion, it's more about mutual tolerance. For people in their 30s, in ancient times, they would have already reached the age of 30, and it was really not easy to fall in love at that age.

Perhaps in the future, you could consider changing your way of thinking? As long as you don't dislike it, it might be beneficial to continue dating the other person. It's like boiling a frog in slowly-boiling water: one day, a frog will be boiled to death, and you may not even notice it. But by that time, the other person will already be drowning in your emotions. Just think how beautiful it will be if that day ever comes.

What are your thoughts on this matter? I believe the best course of action would be to work hard towards this goal.

It might be helpful to believe that the person you're meant to be with will eventually reciprocate your feelings.

I believe in you, and I think the world does too!

Hello!

I can feel your restless heart wanting to settle down. "I just want to find someone to marry now." Maybe you're used to working hard alone and have never had time for a relationship.

He's relaxed about love and is happy to let things happen naturally. But he's having trouble finding the right girl to marry.

"I've had more than ten blind dates." What went wrong?

I can meet my living needs.

You've never liked anyone before.

The questioner can meet the other person's material needs and support them financially. But if they don't like each other at first, will they like each other over time?

In ancient times, matchmakers arranged marriages. Sometimes, the couples lacked passion.

But that's how blind dates work. It's not easy to find someone you click with from thousands of people.

From the girl's point of view:

Security is the most important thing for every married girl.

Security comes from good living conditions and exclusive emotions.

Love can be cultivated slowly, but you have to convince her you won't fool around after you get married and that you will take care of the family.

32 is not too old. I hope you'll find love.

I wish you success and happiness.

Good day, question asker!

I empathize with your predicament and would be delighted to converse with you further. I sincerely hope that this offers you some encouragement.

1. I'm optimistic that there's still hope.

You mentioned that you're currently seeking a partner with whom you can get married, and that you're looking for someone who is a good match for you in terms of appearance and personality. I believe there may be other individuals who share this desire and are also ready to get married.

Perhaps you haven't yet had the opportunity to meet a girl who aligns perfectly with your expectations.

Based on your current situation, I believe there is still hope.

Perhaps the simplest solution would be to simply find a girl who shares similar aspirations.

I would like to share more with you because your requirements don't seem particularly demanding, but they are actually quite challenging to fulfill.

2. It might be helpful to explore your true needs.

If it isn't an imposition, could you tell me why you want to get married?

Could it be to satisfy the demands of others?

Could I ask if you have any idea of what married life will be like?

You may feel that a simple and uneventful married life is just fine, and that it doesn't matter whether you like it or not.

I'm curious about your family of origin.

Our attitudes towards marriage are often shaped by our family of origin.

You mentioned that you have never liked anyone for more than 30 years. Could it be that you haven't yet met someone you like, or that you're still learning what it means to like someone?

I believe there is a distinction between the two.

I would also like to discuss with you whether you feel you can like yourself.

Could I ask whether you like your parents, siblings, or friends?

While this kind of liking differs from liking the opposite sex, if we fail to acknowledge or express this feeling of liking, it could potentially lead to a situation where a woman may be less inclined to marry than a man who does not reciprocate her feelings.

It can be challenging to maintain a marriage without a foundation of affection.

Perhaps it would be beneficial for us to take this opportunity to explore our true thoughts and needs.

3. Could it be that liking someone is not as crucial as we often assume?

I'm not sure if I'm asking the right question, but I wonder if you consider yourself to be very rational in life.

Could I ask you whether you find it difficult to express your feelings?

In addition to not feeling like liking anyone, could I ask you about the rest?

Perhaps we could also consider our feelings at work, in our relationships, and in other areas of our lives.

I believe that all of our emotions deserve our attention.

I wonder if I might ask you to consider whether it is simply a matter of liking or disliking, and so on.

It's natural to use defense mechanisms to protect ourselves in life.

Some of the other factors at play may include repression, emotional isolation, and rationalization, among others.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the possibility that avoiding contact with one's true emotions might have a positive effect. It's certainly a strategy that can be employed in a variety of situations.

One might describe the avoidance of one's genuine emotions as emotional isolation.

Emotional isolation is a common phenomenon, and it also has some beneficial aspects.

It would be best to avoid isolating the time for too long.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to take your time to find that feeling of liking.

It might be helpful to consider whether this is a matter of liking something or someone.

It's possible that you haven't yet had the opportunity to meet someone you really like. If you were to measure your feelings of love on a scale of 0 to 10, would you say that you've experienced feelings of love that rate a 1, 2, or 3?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider getting to know a member of the opposite sex, getting close to her, and trying to understand her.

If you allow yourself the time to rediscover the feeling of liking, you may find that your problems are solved.

If it is of interest to you, you may wish to consider reading the book entitled "Love, You Need to Learn".

I hope this finds you well.

Hello, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing now, and I'm here to help.

You are experiencing some problems with marriage. I'm here to help.

1.) You have never liked anyone in over 30 years.

I believe you may have liked a girl before.

You need to ask yourself why you're afraid to take that step.

This is likely related to your family of origin.

Think back. What was your parents' marriage like? How was their intimacy?

If it's not ideal, you may subconsciously believe that marriage is the end of love.

Then you'll be afraid every time you go on a blind date or like a girl.

2.) You've been on more than 10 blind dates, and you'll be 33 years old after the New Year.

You have to believe me when I tell you that it's not possible you haven't found a girl you like after so many blind dates.

Avoidance is a temptation you may feel, but it's not the answer.

When you run away, you show that you don't like the girl enough. You can't fake this feeling, as you said.

3.) There is no hope for you?

The questioner should not be disheartened.

You need to find a counselor to deal with the problems in your family of origin.

Once you've dealt with it, you'll have a correct outlook on love and marriage.

Your parents are your parents, and you are you. Their marriage may not have been ideal, but that doesn't mean yours will be too. You can choose your own path, because since ancient times, we humans have blazed our own trails.

You will have the courage to pursue your own happiness and marry the girl you like as soon as possible when you have dealt with the marital problems of your parents in your original family.

I am confident that you will find a solution to this problem soon.

I now have these things in mind.

My answers are helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. I am the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you, the world, and everything in it. Best wishes!