He always makes me angry lately, it seems like our relationship is about to end... What should I do?

Dear questioner, I am Duoduo Lian. I am here to support you.

You feel insecure when dealing with your partner. She has a stable income, but her parents are not very capable of earning money, and her younger sister needs support. The background image of your circle of friends used to be you, but it has changed now. All kinds of dissatisfaction make you angry and aggrieved. You need to calm yourself down.

You understand the difficulty of the other person. His family lives in the countryside, and you have an advantage in every way, yet you chose to be with him. You need to be aware of and release whether you feel aggrieved or not. You chose him in the first place because you wanted to be down-to-earth and to be able to control the other person.

Life is impermanent. Things that happen are also good things, and they allow you to think calmly. Without a long-term compromise, both sides need a sense of security and control. The other person also knows about the family's financial situation and the particularities of the job. There is still a lot to face in the future, and it is also very realistic.

As his parents, we understand the hardships of rural people. We only chose a daughter-in-law for his family who is a good match. Your partner is a soldier, and his work is special. A good match will give you a sense of security. You can also understand this, and you will also be influenced by the people around you.

Your partner is not very good at comforting you, so you are constantly in a state of conflict. This is a double-edged sword, and it was also the reason you chose him in the first place. His dullness also gives you a sense of security. You must agree. It is also painful for an adult to be unable to resolve their emotions on their own.

Talk to your partner. He has grievances too. In a family with parents who are getting older and a younger sister who needs care and support, he is a responsible person. You will have to face these issues together in the future. You can decide whether you accept this within certain limits.

Your partner will also think about these practical issues. Your emotional instability will also cause him to think a lot, and there will be a lot of conflicts. You can express your grievances, and he should tell you about his too.

You can make yourself happy. Behind every anger is an unmet desire. It is human nature to need support and recognition. Don't be self-defeating. Express your emotions in words and say what you want. You will feel much better.

Take control of your life and be your own master.

I am certain you will succeed.

Dear friend, I can feel your confusion and stress right now, and I'm here to help! It is only natural to feel uneasy and frustrated when faced with the pressure and expectations of your partner's family, as well as your partner's lack of communication. Many people feel confused and distressed when faced with similar family and relationship issues, but you can get through this!

Your concerns and emotions are worthy of serious attention. You are going through a complex emotional process involving expectations of your partner, an understanding of family responsibilities, and concerns about the uncertainty of the future—and you're doing great!

These factors combine to form an emotional web that you can carefully manage. Your feelings and experiences are unique, but they are not isolated.

Family relationships and partnerships are complex and influenced by a variety of factors, including cultural background, personal values, and family expectations. This makes them an exciting and dynamic area of study! Your situation involves issues of family roles, expectations, and boundaries, which are fascinating to explore.

For example, the issue you mentioned of "his sister" may involve boundaries of family roles and responsibilities. In psychology, boundaries refer to the boundaries between individuals for mutual respect and protection, which are essential for healthy relationships.

Communication and understanding are especially important in relationships, especially when it comes to differences in family and values. This is an exciting time for you both as you navigate these differences while maintaining your relationship.

His behavior may not be intentional, but he'll get there! He may not have found the right way to deal with these complex emotions and responsibilities, but he will!

His family may have some expectations of him, and that's okay! They may be concerned about his sister, and he may be happy to support her. It's a great way for him to show love and responsibility.

For his parents, they may have concerns about your work and height out of concern for their son, which is not uncommon in traditional families. These expectations may conflict with your personal values and expectations, but you can work through them together!

I think the best thing you can do is sit down and have a good, long chat. You can tell him how you feel, and he can tell you how he feels.

There's this amazing concept in psychology called "empathy." It's all about trying to understand the problem from the other person's perspective. He might also be trying to balance family expectations and personal relationships. This will not only help you better understand his behavior, but it'll also let him feel your understanding and support.

And there's more! You can also look at how you can set up some fair boundaries and still show respect for his family while keeping your relationship strong. This could include how you can work together to deal with his family's expectations of you and how you can make your relationship more secure given his professional situation.

Taking a break is a great way to give your relationship a boost! It's all about making sure you're both feeling good and ready to move forward. Sometimes, giving each other some space can help emotions cool down and allow you to think more clearly.

But before you do anything else, make sure you have communicated fully and that both sides understand that this is about better handling the problem, not avoiding it.

The good news is that problems in relationships are often not caused by a single event, but by a series of events and emotions that have accumulated. This means that there is plenty of room for solutions!

And don't forget to take care of yourself in the process! And don't be afraid to ask for help, whether it comes from friends, family, or professionals.

Every relationship is special and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Your feelings matter, and your happiness is worth pursuing!

You have every right to a healthy, fulfilling, and happy relationship! Your feelings and experiences are worthy of respect and understanding, and you are not alone.

Happy New Year, I hope this message finds you well.

My name is Kelly Shui.

Thank you for the opportunity to discuss the changes in this relationship.

He has recently exhibited behavior that has caused me distress, and it appears that our relationship may be coming to an end. What is the best course of action in this situation?

The questioner indicated that he has recently exhibited behavior that has caused you to become angry. This could be indicative of a closer relationship between you.

Who would provoke such a reaction? A person with whom one has a close relationship, or a person one cares about?

I have identified several key issues in this text.

1. Regarding Boundaries

The questioner is currently pursuing a postgraduate degree and has indicated that the prospective employment outlook may be limited. In my view, this is not a significant concern as long as the individual is satisfied with their current role. In a family setting, it is possible for one member to have a stable position while the other pursues a more flexible or personally fulfilling role.

As long as both parties are satisfied with the arrangement and are willing to continue, there should be no issues.

In a romantic partnership, I believe that shared responsibility, trust, and mutual understanding are the cornerstones of a successful relationship. These include the ability to communicate boundaries, respect for each other's upbringing, cultural backgrounds, and families of origin. By openly discussing these aspects in advance, couples can avoid potential conflicts and build a strong foundation for their relationship.

As an illustration, the questioner made the following point:

1. I am dissatisfied with his ignorant younger sister and the fact that he treats her as a daughter and provides her with financial support.

A 27-year-old male is already assuming responsibility for his family and for his younger sister. We can view this situation with an objective perspective. If we were to enter into a marriage contract before we could maintain boundaries and allow each other the freedom to choose and handle this matter independently.

If you have your own family after marriage, or if his salary is also part of your joint property during marriage, the disposition of these funds may be discussed between you.

It would be prudent to consider the extent to which you would be willing to provide assistance to your brother's sister should she require it.

Please confirm whether you have graduated from college or graduate school. The ancients also advised that brothers should be transparent about their financial affairs.

For instance, after marriage, you may consider providing your sister with financial assistance upon her graduation from college or postgraduate studies. This could potentially foster her growth and development.

Premarital property or romantic relationships. It would be preferable to maintain mutual respect. As a hypothetical example, if you had a younger brother before marriage and your younger brother needed your help, but your boyfriend was unwilling to do so, how would you feel?

Firstly, we can confirm our partner's responsible approach, commend his dedication, and maintain transparency and clarity regarding our expectations and limitations.

2. Regarding decision-making

Your boyfriend was born in a rural area, and his parents adhere to traditional values. They lack the financial resources to support their lifestyle. Do you empathize with your boyfriend's situation, given the pressure he faces from his parents?

Or are there still some concerns from his parents regarding your employment and height?

As an adult, did your partner still engage in this activity, and did he inform you of it at the time?

In this matter, we can see that in this relationship, he is honest with you when making choices, and you face this relationship. Given the particular nature of his career and the complexity of his family, how would we choose for ourselves?

The question thus arises as to whether your relationship with him is determined by your love or trust.

It is not uncommon to experience feelings of insecurity in a relationship. However, these issues can be addressed and resolved. By maintaining a positive attitude and taking an active role in the relationship, you can navigate challenges together and emerge stronger.

Furthermore, it may be necessary to accept your boyfriend's current level of comfort-giving abilities. If he is not yet adept at providing solace, and if you perceive a return of his previous habits in this regard, then these communications before marriage will also allow him to learn to solve these problems.

Some objective problems, such as the other party's family, some of the parents' concepts, and the influence of his parents on his life, may not be immediately changeable. However, this depends on whether you can accept and tolerate, respect each other's differences, and understand his behavior, etc.

Some of these are options we can choose, such as the way we communicate. Alternatively, we can reflect on ourselves and the reasons why he is allowing us to choose. Which of these is the most appropriate course of action?

[Regarding love]

If you are still experiencing significant distress, it is not uncommon to feel this way after a series of challenging events and negative experiences.

It would be beneficial to consider your own insecurities, the choice of this relationship, mutual trust, and understanding of love.

Including in a relationship, we can also gain insight into ourselves and identify areas for improvement. Do we have a well-rounded and accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses?

Have there been instances in the past where you felt insecure?

Each person or relationship serves as a mirror, reflecting our inner selves. It is important to learn to love and explore ourselves in the context of the relationship. If you are still unable to relieve deep-seated emotions, it is crucial to identify the underlying cause of your concern.

It is possible that a relationship may experience fluctuations in its dynamics. Should you be interested, you may wish to consider consulting with a professional counselor or listening teacher. This could provide you with a different perspective, or alternatively, you may choose to temporarily disengage from the situation to allow everyone involved to regroup.

Ultimately, the answer lies within your own heart. Love can instill courage and foster mutual understanding, equipping us to navigate challenges with resilience.

It would be prudent to frequently ask yourself whether you are following your heart's desires.

You demonstrate wisdom.

I would like to suggest the following books for your consideration: "The Art of Love," "Growing in Relationships," and "Fearless Anxiety."

Happy New Year to the questioner! It is clear that the questioner cares deeply about her family-he-doesnt-want-to-quarrel-with-his-parents-2315.html" target="_blank">boyfriend and the relationship between the two of them. However, relationships require the concerted efforts of both parties to maintain, and it is not possible for one person to do it alone.

From the information provided by the questioner, it is clear that the boyfriend cares a great deal about his family and is also submissive and pleasing. This kind of caring and submissive pleasing may be precisely the factor that makes the questioner feel uneasy. From the other person's point of view, this is his need. He needs to maintain this kind of relationship with his family and needs to express his care for his family in this way.

Let me be clear: he cares about the questioner. It's just that, in comparison to the questioner's love, he values other things more. The questioner already knows this, and that's why he's feeling the way he is.

The questioner has already expressed his position and attitude, and has done what he can, which is very good. However, he needs to set a goal for himself. He must decide whether he must and definitely cannot be with this boyfriend, and that he will not marry anyone else. If so, what should he do? If not, what should he do? He should have this line of thinking in mind.

I support the idea of a temporary cooling-off period. Given the current communication difficulties, it would be beneficial for them to take some time to calm down and then assess the situation. It's important to remember that everything is subject to change, and even intimate relationships are not immune to this.

I'm not trying to make the questioner feel uneasy. I'm simply telling them that they can take the initiative and choose, not just passively accept things. There is not just one way to go about things, and there is no need to push yourself too hard and put too much pressure on yourself. Just do your best and go with the flow.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

I'm happy I could answer your question. You asked, "He's been making me angry lately, and it seems like our relationship is ending...what should I do?" After reading your introduction carefully, I understand your feelings and want to discuss your problems with you.

1. Introduction

1. The situation is as follows:

You say, "I'm 29, and my boyfriend is 27. I'm studying for a postgraduate degree and haven't decided what to do after graduation, but I don't think it will be a problem finding a job that pays a decent wage. My boyfriend is in the military and has been in for eight years, so his job is stable. My family's situation is slightly better than his, and we don't have as much pressure to provide for our old age. We're both in a relationship with the intention of getting married."

Work

You're 29 and have a graduate degree. You haven't found a job yet, but you can easily get one that pays well. It might not be super stable, though. Your boyfriend's in the military and has been in the army for eight years. He's got a stable job.

Family situation:

Your family situation is a bit better than his. His family lives in the countryside, his parents are still alive, and he has a younger sister.

At some point, you'll both have to think about how you'll support your parents in their old age. You'll feel less pressure about that.

You've been together for five months and you're both looking to get married.

2⃣️, Conflicts

"Our recent conflict is:"

"1⃣️I'm not happy with his family's younger sister, who is pretty ignorant, and the fact that he treats her like a daughter and supports her financially in every way."

"2⃣️His parents, who were born in the countryside, have traditional values and don't earn much, so they always put the pressure on him. They were also unhappy with my job and height, and when they knew we had been dating for five months, they introduced my boyfriend to someone else. If my boyfriend hadn't lied, they would have kept pushing, and because of the delay in the relationship, he was forced to go.

Financial support

You're not happy with your boyfriend's younger sister. You say she's ignorant, but the reason is that your boyfriend treats her like a daughter and supports her financially in every way.

The boyfriend's family

The boyfriend's family is putting a lot of pressure on him to support them financially. His parents are also unhappy about your job and height, so they're still introducing him to other people, even though they know you're already in a relationship.

When the pressure is on, the boyfriend caves.

3⃣️, Confused

"Because of his job and family, I've become insecure. I've been angry at him because he's insensitive and doesn't know how to comfort me. It often makes me angry again before I can let it go, and then we get stuck in a vicious cycle. I've also talked to him, and he said he understood and would go solve the problem. But I still feel sad all the time. After this incident, he gave me an 888 red envelope for the New Year. Later, when we had a fight, he said angrily that the red envelope was given in vain, and I angrily gave it back to him and he accepted it (although he later gave it back). Now I don't know what to do... I feel that his attitude has also changed recently. I've always been in the background of his circle of friends, but several times it has been replaced by others. Anyway, his recent behavior always makes me feel very angry, which also annoys him."

It seems like if I don't make a fuss, things will eventually calm down. But I'm still feeling pretty emotional, and I'm not sure what to do. Should I break up with my boyfriend for a while to give us both some space?

"

You're angry with your boyfriend for his actions, and he knows that what he did was inappropriate. He apologizes by transferring money to you. However, your boyfriend is rather dull and often does things that you find intolerable. As a result, you often have unpleasant arguments.

You're upset with your boyfriend for what he did, and he knows it was wrong. He apologized by sending you money. But your boyfriend is kind of boring and often does things you don't like.

As a result, you often have arguments that are unpleasant for both of you.

I'm a bit confused.

You feel like if you don't argue with your boyfriend, nothing will change, but you feel bad inside. You're not sure how to solve your problems or how to handle the conflicts that arise between you.

2. What's causing the confusion?

1⃣️, unclear sense of boundaries

A sense of boundaries is about knowing where you end and others begin.

A sense of boundaries means that in relationships with other people, you know what you're responsible for and what you're allowed to do. You protect your personal space from being invaded and you don't invade other people's personal space.

It seems like there's some confusion about boundaries.

From what you said in your introduction, it seems like your boyfriend's family members are stuck in traditional ways of thinking. This has led to them getting involved in their kids' marriages in a way that's not helpful. This has made it harder for you and your boyfriend to connect.

2⃣️, unclear roles

Family Roles

Family roles are about the specific identities of family members. They represent the functions they should perform in the family, reflecting their relative positions and relationships with other members.

Role confusion

Another issue you're facing is that the roles in your boyfriend's family are sometimes unclear. For instance, the financial responsibilities of your younger sister and her parents are now falling on your boyfriend, which is confusing for you.

3. Poor communication

Communication

Communication is the process of sharing information in a two-way flow between people through different media. This helps us understand each other better and work towards specific goals.

There's room for improvement in the communication department.

In terms of communication, you and your boyfriend have different personalities, cultural backgrounds, and ways of thinking as a result of being male and female, as well as different focuses and upbringings. This has caused you to be angry with your husband's behavior and mannerisms because you don't understand them, and your husband is also sad because he doesn't understand your inner thoughts. You haven't formed a good communication channel.

3. What to do

1. Effective communication

Effective communication

Communication is basically the exchange of information. It's about conveying a message to someone and hoping they'll respond as you expect. If you get a positive response, you've got effective communication.

Communication includes both verbal and non-verbal messages, with the non-verbal part often being more important than the verbal part. Effective communication is really important when it comes to relationships with other people, whether that's family, friends or even colleagues.

Here are the steps to effective communication:

There are four steps to effective communication:

The first step is to express your feelings, not your emotions.

Step 2: Speak up about what you want, not what you don't want. Let them know you're angry, not just that you're angry.

Step 3: Speak up about what you need, not just about what you don't like.

Step 4: Share your goals, not your complaints. Focus on the end result, not the current situation.

In a relationship, it's important to understand each other, communicate well, and build a strong connection. We'll have lots of thoughts during our interactions that we need to share.

Effective communication is a great way to improve understanding, reach agreements, and coordinate relationships.

2. Set some boundaries.

And set some boundaries.

When we're all together, it's important to set clear boundaries and make sure everyone is taking responsibility for their own duties. That way, we don't end up depriving anyone of their responsibilities and rights.

So that everyone has a clear sense of who they are and what they're responsible for.

Help others grow and develop.

The brother might think it's his job to help his sister with the family finances. But that's not love, it's harm.

If the younger sister becomes too reliant on her family financially, she may start to expect things without working for them. She may also lose the ability to appreciate what she has.

When we're facing problems in a boyfriend's family, we can help him see that this isn't love and it's not good for his younger sister. We can let his brother tell his sister to understand and appreciate his hard work, to be grateful, and to take care of her own affairs and strive for them herself. Then she'll appreciate what she has.

3⃣️, Know your responsibilities

It's important to distinguish responsibilities.

We help parents take back responsibility for their kids. Parents are the ones who should be in charge of their younger sister. If the older brother gets in the way of parents doing their job, it will make it harder for parents to understand and educate their kids, and it will delay their ability to do so.

Free yourself up to do your best work.

We make sure we know what we're responsible for and what we shouldn't be taking on. We're brave enough to say no to things that aren't our responsibility, and we free ourselves from them.

Live your life with ease and joy.

Questioner, you and your boyfriend talked about boundaries and responsibilities, and perhaps your boyfriend couldn't accept them all, which made things difficult. We can let go of our emotions and discuss it with him using effective communication.

Keep your cool and don't accuse. Your boyfriend will see that you're thinking from his perspective and that you're looking out for his family.

It's a challenging situation, but it'll be worth it in the long run if you're patient and take things one step at a time. He'll come around.

I wish the original poster all the best for the future!

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

From what you've told me, it seems like your relationship is going through a bit of a rough patch. It's totally normal to feel uncertain and insecure in a relationship, especially when you're trying to build a connection with someone new. If you really want to move forward, it's important to establish a sense of trust and security in the relationship through deep connection and effective communication. This will help you both feel more secure and promote the development of the relationship. As for your own emotions, they may not just be about him, but also about the lack of security within yourself. When you can establish a sense of security within yourself, it'll make a world of difference.

Intimate relationships are all about give and take. It's totally normal to have conflicts and contradictions. The key is to turn conflicts into understanding and contradictions into a deeper understanding and knowledge of each other.

I'd love to offer you some advice!

It's so important to understand where our emotions come from and what specific needs we're trying to meet.

It's so important to remember that emotions are often a sign that something we need is missing in our lives. If you're feeling angry or agitated, it's a great idea to ask yourself why.

It's so important to understand what our needs are and why we get angry. When we can calm down and explore, become aware and summarize, we can discover that every time we get angry, it is because our core needs have not been met.

I used to be unhappy in intimate relationships in various ways, and I was always very easily angered. Later, when I began to become aware of my emotions, I discovered that every time, I became emotional because of the other person's or other people's negation of me. I found the core need behind my emotions, which was to be recognized. Only after we have found this need can we make targeted adjustments, understand what we really lack within, and then be able to give ourselves the real psychological nourishment.

For example, when I started to enhance my sense of self-affirmation through various methods (participating in supportive group growth, reading related books, performing related self-identification exercises, and a lot of self-psychological suggestions, etc.), I found that I didn't care so much about the other person's denial in the relationship. This is because I am internally rich and don't need to rely on the other person's giving. Even if the other person expresses a negative opinion about some part of myself, I know that it is just his evaluation and doesn't represent who I really am. I am very satisfied with myself.

2. It's totally normal to have conflicts and contradictions in a relationship. The key is to transform them in a positive way, communicate effectively, and see the conflict as an opportunity to understand the other person's needs.

It's totally normal to have conflicts and contradictions in relationships. They're a natural part of life! But, we can't just engage in superficial arguments in response to these conflicts and contradictions. We need to engage in effective communication and deep connections.

It's so important to see each other's needs and express our own. When we give each other what we really want in a relationship, it makes it long-lasting, harmonious, and stable.

It's so important to be able to express yourself sincerely and consistently about every issue that makes you feel uncomfortable. But it's also really helpful to pay attention to the timing of the communication. It's not a good idea to communicate in the heat of the moment, because in that state our brains are irrational and we will say many impulsive things that won't be very effective. When we communicate in a calm state, without judging or accusing the other person, we can express our feelings, needs and specific requests to the other person, and listen to the other person's feelings, needs and specific requests to you. Then, gradually, you will have more understanding and knowledge of each other, and you will truly know what the other person wants and what you can give to each other. That is true love!

For example, if what you need most in a relationship is respect, then it's really important to express the points that make you uncomfortable. It's so important to express how you feel about not being respected and how you want to be respected. It's also a great idea to tell the other person what you think he needs to do specifically to respect you. I really recommend the books "Nonviolent Communication," "Crucial Conversations," and "The Art of Communication," which will help you communicate effectively in relationships.

3. It's so important to recognize that our feelings of insecurity in relationships often stem from our own internal insecurities. Learning to establish a sense of internal security is a great way to start!

It's so important to remember that the root of our insecurity in relationships is often our own internal insecurity. If you feel secure, you'll be able to weather any storms that come your way. You'll still believe that your relationship can continue to develop for the better and you'll find ways to communicate positively and resolve any sticking points. But if we lack internal security, we'll doubt the relationship, not confident enough to continue, and not know what to do.

So, how can we improve our sense of inner security? The magic weapon is to learn to care for ourselves. There is a wonderful book called "The Power of Self-Care" that describes three levels on which we can care for ourselves: treating ourselves kindly, common humanity, and mindfulness of the present.

Always treat yourself with kindness and remember that you're not alone. There are plenty of people out there who are just like you, and you'll find a sense of belonging when you let yourself live in the present. Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future — just focus on the here and now.

I hope this is helpful for you! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!

Hello, I'm Xintan Coach Feiyun. Life is a journey for growth.

Your boyfriend is nice to you and treats you well, but his family makes you feel bad. Let's look at what's going on:

1. Love is between two people, but marriage is between two families.

You're both going for marriage, so you cherish each other. I believe there's beauty in the time you spend alone. He's responsible and dependable. He gives you security.

His family isn't supportive. His parents are picky about you and your height. Could this affect the next generation?

Also, the kids keep coming.

Your parents want to set you up with other people even though they know you are dating. They want to find the best match for you.

Your younger sister is overly dependent, and your brother is controlling. This has made you the "third party" between him and her. It's not that you're not generous enough; it's just that their sibling love has crossed the line, causing you to feel the urge to "compare."

If you're just in love, there's no need to worry. But if marriage is involved, think about it more. The book "If Only I Knew Before Marriage" is a love guide and marriage guidebook. It can help you understand things before marriage.

2. Talk more so your partner knows what you need.

Men and women are born different, so don't expect a man to understand you. Especially when it involves both parents and family, communication is important.

Your emotions come from unmet needs, like his parents' behavior.

His failure to stand up for you has made you feel unworthy and trapped.

You want to understand his thoughts, understand your situation better, feel more compassion, and express it in your actions.

You said he's slow. He may have feelings, but he's awkward. The book "The Five Languages of Love" talks about love.

His attitude is the key. You can't change him, but love can.

Speak honestly to understand each other. Don't grumble or complain.

I hope this helps. I love you.

To continue the conversation, follow my personal page, "Heart Exploration Service."

It is understandable to feel tired and confused when facing challenges and conflicts in your relationship. Every relationship goes through ups and downs, and the key is whether both parties can solve the problems through effective communication and joint efforts. Here are some suggestions that may help you find a solution to the problem:

1. It might be helpful to try to deepen communication.

It might be helpful to try to find a suitable time to have an in-depth, honest conversation with your partner. You might like to share your feelings, concerns and expectations for your relationship.

It might also be helpful to give him the opportunity to express his views and feelings.

When communicating, it may be helpful to avoid blaming language and use more first-person expressions such as "I feel" and "I need," which could help reduce the other person's defensiveness.

2. Understanding and respect

It might be helpful to try to understand his sense of responsibility towards the family, especially his care for his younger sister and his commitment to his parents, from his perspective. At the same time, it could be beneficial to explain to him your concerns and how you would like to handle these family responsibilities.

Perhaps it would be helpful to discuss how you can face external pressures and expectations as a team, given his parents' dissatisfaction with you.

3. How to face external pressures together

Perhaps it would be helpful to discuss how you can face his family's expectations and pressures together as a team, including financial support and interference in your relationship.

It might be helpful to set some boundaries and clarify your position and decisions as an independent unit in dealing with family relationships.

4. Consider ways to build security.

It might be helpful to explore together how to increase feelings of security in the relationship, including showing love, support, and encouragement through the little things in everyday life.

It might be helpful to discuss ways to support each other during times of stress or pressure, rather than letting emotions fester.

5. It might be helpful to take some time apart.

If emotions become overwhelming, it might be helpful to take a short break to calm down and process your feelings. This doesn't mean giving up, but rather working towards a healthier resolution together.

If you feel that you would benefit from some additional support, you may wish to consider seeking the guidance of a professional.

If you find it challenging to resolve these issues on your own, you might consider seeking marriage or emotional counseling. Professional counseling can provide new perspectives and strategies to help you improve your relationship.

It is important to remember that maintaining a healthy relationship requires effort and commitment from both parties. With effective communication and a shared strategy for problem solving, many relationship challenges can be overcome.

I hope you can find a solution that works best for you.

Dear Questioner, I empathize with your situation. Disagreements and challenges in a relationship can be frustrating, particularly when it seems that your partner lacks empathy for your perspective.

There is no need to be concerned. Let us work together to find a solution.

Firstly, it is important to note that it is normal for any relationship to experience fluctuations in mood and behaviour. The confusion and unease you are currently experiencing is a natural part of the relationship development process.

There is no need to be overly anxious. Let's work together to find a solution.

In regard to the matter of his sister, I am aware that you are dissatisfied and concerned. However, it should be noted that each family situation is unique, and he may have his own considerations and difficulties.

It would be beneficial to communicate with him honestly, sharing your feelings and thoughts while also listening to his explanations and thoughts. This approach may facilitate a deeper understanding and help identify more effective ways to interact.

In regard to the matter of his parents, I am aware that this has placed considerable strain on you. However, it is important to remember that his parents are an integral part of his life, and their opinions and ideas may be challenging to alter in the immediate future.

It would be beneficial to demonstrate your kindness, efforts, and positive qualities through your actions and attitude. Additionally, your boyfriend can play a valuable role in facilitating communication, which will assist in fostering a deeper understanding and acceptance of each other.

You indicated that you become angry due to these circumstances, and he may lack proficiency in providing comfort to others. In essence, communication entails not only expressing one's thoughts but also understanding the feelings and needs of the other party.

Perhaps you could discuss with him how to better handle each other's emotions when you are calm. For example, you could inform him that when you are angry, what you really need is his understanding and comfort, not just simple reassurance.

This may facilitate a deeper understanding of your needs and enable him to provide the requisite support.

Regarding the possibility of temporarily disengaging to regain composure, this is a viable option to consider. However, it is essential to recognize that disconnection is not the objective, but rather a means of providing each other with the necessary time and space to reflect calmly and more effectively address our emotions and challenges.

Should you decide to proceed, it is essential to reconnect at the appropriate time and engage in open and honest communication about your feelings and thoughts.

I would like to offer you some specific suggestions that I hope will provide inspiration and assist you in more effectively addressing the challenges in your relationship.

Firstly, with regard to the matter of his sister, it may be beneficial to establish some family rules in collaboration with him. For instance, it would be advisable to set a reasonable limit for financial support and to clarify what his sister can rely on and what she needs to learn to handle independently.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to encourage him to provide guidance to his younger sister, helping her to become more independent and to develop in a timely manner. This will not only reduce your own burden, but will also have a positive impact on her future development.

Secondly, it would be advisable to establish contact with his parents and communicate regularly via WeChat or telephone. It is important to keep them informed of your situation and to listen to their opinions and suggestions.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to encourage your partner to act as an intermediary to facilitate communication and enhance mutual understanding.

In the event of a conflict between you, I recommend employing some engaging "cooling-down techniques." For instance, when you feel emotionally charged, you can engage in a board game, watch a movie, or take a walk outdoors. This will help you relax and calm down in a pleasant setting.

It would also be beneficial to learn some effective communication skills, such as the "I-language" expression method, which presents one's feelings and needs in the form of "I feel...because...", which is more readily comprehensible and acceptable to the other party.

Furthermore, you may wish to consider implementing some "emotional savings" activities to enhance your emotional connection. One such activity could be setting aside an "emotional sharing time" every week, during which you can share your joys, problems, or growth with each other.

This will not only enhance mutual understanding but also facilitate the development of a more robust emotional foundation.

It is also important to consider your own emotional needs. When you feel angry or disappointed, it is advisable to allow yourself time and space to deal with these emotions.

It is possible to relieve stress by maintaining a journal, practising yoga or engaging in conversation with colleagues. Concurrently, it is also advisable to develop the ability to express your needs and expectations in order to facilitate a deeper understanding of you and enhanced support from your partner.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. It is important to remember that relationships require joint efforts from both parties.

Provided you continue to value and support each other, you will undoubtedly be able to overcome these challenges and find your own path to success. Best of luck!

Hello. From your description, it's clear you're distressed by what's happening around you. I'm here to give you courage and warmth.

I believe that separating for a while to let the two of you calm down will not necessarily solve things. In fact, while you are apart, the other party may be forced by their family to get married quickly. We should focus on problems that can be solved.

From your description, it's clear you're both aiming for marriage. Marriage is a matter for two people and two families, so you must be careful. You should only make the decision to marry when you have a thorough understanding of the other person and can accept all their shortcomings and flaws. If you can't accept them, you'll definitely hold this point against them after you get married. How can a marriage like that be happy and long-lasting? You describe how you are dissatisfied with the way he treats his younger sister. Have you discussed this issue and communicated with each other?

He can change his mind after discussion and communication. The way he changes will make you happy.

If you don't change, you can't accept it.

Furthermore, given that the other person has a special occupation, it makes you feel insecure and angry with yourself. However, when something happens, only you care if someone is angry. That is meaningless and there is no way to solve things. As mentioned earlier, this is a matter for two people. If you are both like this now, it will be the same in your married life in the future. From your description, I feel that his choice has not always been firmly yours. If it is firmly yours, you should firmly tell your family why you can't refuse to meet someone.

If you don't want to do something, no matter how hard someone pushes, it's useless. He swayed your heart to choose you, and you don't have to insist on it.

I hope this personal understanding helps.

Hi, zucchini scrambled eggs, how are you doing?

I remember we've spoken before about this relationship. Last time, you were more rational in expressing your feelings. You posted to get different perspectives and weigh up whether the relationship was worth continuing. This time, you're feeling uneasy, reluctant, helpless and hopeless, but like last time, these feelings are just as rational.

How are you doing?

"It seems like as long as you don't make a scene, these things aren't a problem." It seems like you're more inclined to "further develop the relationship and aim for marriage," so you're willing to make some compromises for this. In order to maintain the relationship, you suppress the expression of many "normal emotions." You want to find a solution to make the relationship "come to a good end." Let's explore together and see how the realistic dilemma and psychological conflict actually affect you.

[Ultra-rational]

"How do I solve it? Should I take a step back and cut off contact for a while?"

You're great at problem-solving, expressing yourself with your head, and doing everything right. This is a sign that you're cutting off emotional connections and ignoring your true feelings.

Rationality is a great quality, but hyperrationality can turn into an emotional disorder. It's all about focusing on things while ignoring people's emotions and even isolating yourself from feelings. You might solve problems, but you'll end up ignoring your emotions, which can harm relationships.

Follow your heart.

Place your hands on your chest, feel your heartbeat, and ask yourself what you really think. What can you do to make yourself feel loved? What can you do without feeling aggrieved? What can you do to make yourself happy and relaxed? First, use your love to enrich your heart and make yourself happy. You'll slowly discover that things will change.

Hope this helps!

I'm the potato farmer who has grown up with you. Thanks for your attention.

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan, and I'm a counselor at the Jingliu school.

I've actually answered this question before, and now that it's come up again, I feel like it's pretty similar. As I mentioned before, getting married in China is not just about the two of you. It's often a matter of considering the two families, too.

I totally get where the questioner is coming from. We all face challenges in relationships, especially when it comes to differences in family and personal values. It seems like the questioner is reluctant to let go of the relationship and is nostalgic for it, but at the same time feels a lot of pain and doesn't know how to deal with it.

When a problem arises, it's so important to think about what's gone wrong, why the questioner is suffering so much, and what they want. It's also crucial to consider whether they can be satisfied in this relationship. If the questioner and the object enter into a family relationship, it's vital to think about whether the questioner can accept the situation of the object's family or if they have the ability to deal with their family situation.

It's so important for the questioner to think about all of this carefully.

It's totally understandable to feel this way! You can talk to your partner about your feelings. Let him know that you're not against him helping your sister, but you feel that the support he gives may be a little too indulgent and may cause some pressure on your own lives.

The questioner can suggest that he find a balance that can take care of his sister's needs without affecting your own lives. If possible, the questioner can also ask the object to help his sister introduce the object, and at the same time let the object understand that if he dotes on her too much, she will only lose her ability to be independent and will find it difficult to face society alone in the future.

I also see that the questioner is taking on the role of his own father. This is a great opportunity for the questioner to help the subject look at the root cause of his doting on his younger sister. It's possible that he's subconsciously helping his parents accomplish something, or that his subconscious mind is paying tribute to his parents and helping them complete the task of raising him.

If the questioner can help their partner recognize the root cause within themselves, perhaps their partner will make some changes.

It might be tough to change the parents of your partner's views, but your attitude is really important here. It would be great if you could explain to your partner that his parents' disappointment in you and their behaviour of introducing other partners has caused you a lot of pain.

If your partner is on your side and approves of your relationship, they should be there for you and support you through this problem together. It's not fair for them to have to accept your parents' arrangements if they don't agree with them. At the same time, you can also try to communicate with your parents to let them know your true thoughts and situation. This way, they can better understand you and accept you for who you are.

It's totally normal for there to be some conflicts between you and your partner, especially if they're caused by things that happened in your family of origin. When you're feeling really emotional, it can be easy to get caught up in a vicious cycle.

I think it would be really helpful for you to set some rules for cooling-off periods. For example, you could agree that you'll temporarily separate when an argument gets out of hand. This will give you both a chance to calm down. While you're at it, why not learn some effective communication skills? Things like listening to your partner's point of view and expressing your feelings instead of blaming them can really help.

I also think it would be really helpful for the questioner to be more tolerant of their partner's behaviour and to try to solve their problems through communication. Even though changing the people around you might seem like a small thing, it can actually reflect a certain emotion or attitude in your heart.

If you both feel like you need a little space to calm down and think things over, a short separation is totally okay!

But remember, the aim of separating is not to become calm, but to communicate better and solve problems, to figure out how you each see the relationship, and to think about how you want to proceed in the future. I know it can be tough, but I'm here to support you!

It's totally normal for problems to arise between couples. The good news is that communication and understanding are the keys to solving them! I really hope you can face each other's problems honestly and work together to find solutions, so that your relationship can become even stronger and more beautiful.

If you need any help or advice, you can always get in touch with a professional counsellor. I'm sending you all the love and support you need to find your own happiness!

I'd like to suggest a book that I think you'll find really helpful. It's called Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg.

I'd also like to suggest the book Intimate Relationships by Roland J. Miller.

Hi there! I just wanted to let you know about this great book I've read called "Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Love" by Elaine Hatfield. I think you'd really enjoy it!

I really hope my answer helps the original poster!

Hello, question asker. Reading their words is like meeting them in person.

You and your partner have a lot on your plates. I understand your frustration.

His sister is a problem, and so are his parents. These problems can make people feel insecure and unhappy.

1. Talk to him about his sister. See if you can find a better way to handle his relationship with her. She can't be ignorant forever. There are certain boundaries.

2. His parents may need more time and communication to resolve. When he introduced another person to your partner, it was disrespectful to you, your partner, and the relationship.

If you can't change their views, the problem is with you.

If you break off contact, it might calm everyone down, but it might also make the problem worse. Try to find time to talk with him. Tell him how you feel and see if you can work together to find a solution. In the meantime, relax. Exercise, read, or take a short trip.

Finally, there is the issue of communication between you and your boyfriend. He gave away red envelopes for free and changed the background of your WeChat moments several times. Everyone's bottom line is different. You feel angry, right? Think about where your bottom line is and what issues can be changed through communication.

Are you both still working towards the same goal?

Here are some books you might like:

"The Games of Love" by John Gottman and Nan Silver explains how to build trust and security in a relationship, how to deal with conflicts and disagreements, and how to maintain independence and mutual respect.

"Intimate Relationships" by Roland Miller looks at the problems people have in relationships and how to solve them.

This is the link between knowledge and action. I wish us happiness.