How can I deal with being overly concerned about my parents' emotions? Their mood affects me for a long time.

If you feel depressed, overwhelmed, or if this continues for a long time, it will affect your physical and mental health, as well as your studies and work. You must take action to stop it and improve the situation.

First and foremost, you deserve a harmonious, supportive, and loving family. Every child and adult wants to live in such an environment.

You and your parents are stuck in a rut. It's time to move on. As you head off to high school or university and become independent, you need to get out of the house. Live in a dorm or move out. It'll do you the world of good.

Talk to some friends to relieve your stress.

Second, you have nothing to do with the intensity and frequency of your parents' arguments. Don't blame yourself. You will start to blame yourself when you care more and grow older.

This will tire you both physically and mentally. You will eventually grow up, fall in love, get married, and even become parents. Your parents' arguments are their choice of lifestyle as adults, and you have no responsibility for their choices.

Your future may be affected by them to some extent, but if you have known how to improve since you were young, it certainly won't be too bad.

Third, you will become an individual with a sense of independence, healthy emotions, and a perfect mentality. When you become an adult, you will undoubtedly face more challenges and setbacks. At this time, you will understand your parents' difficulties and irritable moods. They will have nowhere to vent, and arguing may have been an outlet for them.

Dad and Mom, there is always one who is closer to you and with whom you feel more comfortable communicating. Find the right moment to talk to them alone, express your feelings and emotions, and listen to their feelings and opinions. This should be easy for you.

There are still many problems to be solved and a long way to go. You can do this. Things will get better and better.

I am Pretentious Young People (ID: qingnianJIA2020), and I look forward to maintaining communication with you.

Yi Xinli I am the answer to your questions. I am here to help you, the world, and I Love You. You can find me at https://m.xinli001.com/qa

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now. I'm here to support you!

What you're going through now are some family issues. Once again, I'm sending you a warm hug.

Dear Questioner, You just need to know that in this life, we only need to know three things: our own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven.

The above ideas come from the book A Change of Heart.

Every time your parents have an argument, you feel pretty devastated, and you get flooded with negative emotions.

If you can, it'd be a good idea to get a pillow that's not too attractive. Then, whenever your parents argue, you can hit it pretty hard.

You might not be able to get away from your current family situation, but things will change eventually.

One day, you'll be financially independent, you'll have married the person you love, and you'll have moved out of this home that's driving you crazy.

If you feel like your negative emotions can't be resolved effectively, it's a good idea to seek professional psychological counseling.

A counselor can take a third-party perspective and give you advice that's more useful and constructive because they're not involved in the situation.

I really hope we can find a solution to your problem soon.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love what we do and we love our customers. Best wishes!

Hello! Hugs!

The family is the first place we learn about emotions. We learn how to treat our feelings, how to respond to others, and how to express our hopes and fears. This kind of emotion reflects our parents' quarrels and how we interact with ourselves.

If your parents' quarrels are affecting your life and studies, you can go to counseling or ask a social worker for help. We can also find an incident that makes us angry or affected us in this way. I can feel your inner pain and anxiety, worry, and fear. You may also need to express these emotions to your parents.

Parents' quarrels and our emotions are two different things.

Parents' emotions affect their children. If your parents don't handle their emotions well, it's hard to understand their feelings or feel tense when they argue. You need to learn to deal with your emotions and relieve your anxiety. There are many ways to do this. For example, when you see your parents arguing again, you can feel

Anxiety can be soothed by using the butterfly method. This involves placing your hands in a butterfly shape.

Place your right hand on your right shoulder, your left hand on your left shoulder, and then clap your hands together. This can help you relax. You can also use this when you're dreaming or studying and think about your parents arguing.

If you can't calm yourself down, see a counselor. Counseling helps you adjust your state of mind and accept your parents' quarrels.

Don't torture yourself. Don't let your subconscious tell you you can't bear it.

I'm Yingying, your counselor.

I love you, world.

Dear Sir/Madam, After reading your description of the problem, I empathize with your situation. The emotional distress caused by your parents' quarrels has affected your academic performance, as evidenced by your lower grades in junior high school. From these events, I can sense your anxiety and fear. I understand how the discordant relationship between your parents has affected you. Best regards, [Name]

It is your desire for your parents to have a harmonious relationship, and you are capable of being happy with them.

I am unaware of your current age. It is possible that you are a high school student, or perhaps you are already over the age of 18. You have demonstrated remarkable clarity in expressing your emotions and desires, which I commend.

This indicates that you are taking the initiative to care for your own well-being and self-love, which is an excellent first step.

From the description, it is evident that your primary source of distress is your parents' relationship. Growing up in an environment where your parents engage in frequent conflict is highly challenging.

Now that you are an adult, you are ready to move on from this challenging emotional situation. However, you are unsure of the best way to proceed.

You may find it helpful to consider the concept of boundaries in relation to this issue. One reason why we are always affected by their relationship is that we have not yet psychologically separated ourselves from them, and so our boundaries are not yet clear.

As an adult, you may still require their support financially while you continue your studies. However, you can gradually become more independent psychologically.

First, it is important to distinguish between the parents' relationship and your own position. Their arguments and conflicts indicate an underlying issue in their relationship, which is not your responsibility.

I believe that each of them has a genuine affection for you, and you have experienced their love. It's just that they have a problem with each other, and it has nothing to do with you.

I hope my response is of assistance. I can also see that you have the requisite strength, and I believe that strength will lead you out of your temporary emotional predicament.

Dear Questioner, Thank you for your question. Best regards, [Name] [Title]

From your description, it appears that your parents frequently engage in conflict, which has a detrimental impact on their emotional well-being.

Firstly, when parents engage in conflict, children are typically viewed as innocent bystanders. However, they are expected to accept their parents' actions. Children who grow up in such environments often internalize parental emotions and experiences, leading to a complex web of parental emotions and shadows. Regardless of the child's age, they are perceived as innocent and vulnerable. Parents unintentionally transfer their own parental emotions to their children without considering the potential impact on them. Parents who adopt this approach often resort to violence as a means of problem-solving. This is unacceptable, yet we are expected to accept our parents, given that they are also navigating their own challenges as first-time parents.

[2] It is not our responsibility to manage our parents' affairs. Freud proposed the concept of problem classification, which refers to the so-called problem separation. This means that each of us is responsible for our own affairs and that we must learn to manage our own problems independently. This process allows us to develop a sense of separation and autonomy. In any relationship, it is essential to understand that we can only be responsible for our own affairs and that we have no control over other people's emotions or actions. Even in our closest relationships, we have no right to control others.

[3] It is essential to maintain a clear and objective perspective. Regardless of the underlying cause of the conflict, it is evident that a resolution is unlikely, or that resentment is present on both sides. In such a scenario, it is advisable to seek clarification from the parents regarding the specific issue, their desired outcome, and their proposed solution.

It is not necessary to act as a mediator. If you are unable to regulate your own behaviour, it is not helpful to listen to too much from others.

Fourth, develop an independent personality and take responsibility for your actions. Regardless of the relationship between you and your parents, it is essential to love yourself. This demonstrates accountability and resilience. Do not allow external factors to hinder your progress. Focus on your immediate objectives and recognize that external influences are beyond your control. Cultivate your strengths, set clear boundaries, and develop analytical and decision-making abilities. This will enable you to excel in your personal and professional endeavors.

In short, only adults can solve the problems of the adult world, and we cannot see things from the other person's point of view. As we mature, we will gain a better understanding of the adult world.

It is my hope that the above will prove useful to the questioner.

Good day, inquirer.

As the adage states, one's thoughts during the day manifest as dreams at night. You have recently been experiencing frequent dreams about your parents' altercations. You exhibit a profound concern for your parents' relationship, as you have articulated. I comprehend the pervasive despondency you awaken with. I also grasp the reality of your prolonged upbringing amidst a seemingly incessant cycle of parental discord. I extend a comforting embrace.

It is important to note that as children, we lack the authority to intervene in our parents' lives. This is due to a combination of factors, including a lack of power and the fact that any potential intervention would be between the parents themselves. In other words, it is not our place to interfere in their personal matters. While we have the autonomy to make decisions about our own affairs, we do not have the authority to dictate the actions of others.

As we are unable to control our parents' arguments, we can, however, exercise control over our own responses to them. With regard to the question of how we should view such arguments, I would like to present my own experience as an example.

During my own formative years, I recall experiencing similar challenges. When confronted with my parents' disagreements, I often felt a profound sense of distress, to the point where I was reluctant to return home. However, despite these differences, they both demonstrated unwavering love and commitment, which ultimately served as a source of strength. Similarly, I encountered periods of depression during my school years, and the prospect of returning home during holidays often seemed unappealing. When I eventually married, I was driven by a desire to find a harmonious relationship where mutual respect and understanding were paramount. I was determined to avoid the heated arguments that had characterised my parents' relationship.

However, following my marriage, the situation replicated that of my parents. My husband and I frequently engage in conflict, and my children have also expressed profound discontent. I have endured significant distress from my parents' disagreements, and now I am experiencing similar difficulties with my children. In my view, if couples do not engage in conflict, they cannot resolve their issues. This process is often challenging. I believe that I only engage in conflict when I reach my limit. In other words, I believe that I still pay close attention to my behavior and that I have become aware and do not want to engage in endless conflict like my parents.

During my formative years, I recall that when my mother and father engaged in discord, he would frequently assert that his decision to cohabit with her would be contingent upon the presence of our children. However, I have observed that when my husband and I experience a similar level of discord, we refrain from making such a statement, which has led to a greater sense of comfort for our child. I perceive this as a positive aspect of my personality.

The purpose of my lengthy discourse on this topic is to demonstrate the vital necessity for couples to engage in constructive conflict. For many couples, the absence of such discourse may result in the suppression of subconscious issues, leading to the perception of emotional distress. Furthermore, the lack of discourse may exacerbate existing problems between parents.

They engage in conflict precisely because it allows them to release their emotions. This enables them to progress in the context of the challenging daily life they face. From your description of the problem, it is evident that your parents have made some progress. As you have previously observed, their situation is not comparable to that of your junior high school days, when there was a significant conflict every three days and a minor conflict every two days. Despite this, it was also characterised by open and covert hostility. It can therefore be concluded that they are on the verge of resolving their differences. As the younger generation, it is our responsibility to allow them to do so.

Furthermore, it is likely that you will have completed high school by the time this issue arises at home. As we mature, we can apply the insights we have gained to facilitate communication between our parents. When faced with a conflict between your parents, you are now equipped with the knowledge to seek assistance. In psychology, the primary objective is to recognize one's own challenges, which marks the initial stage of healing. Therefore, you have already embarked on the path to recovery.

It is worthwhile to consider my own experience at the time. I did not seek assistance, and I was also preoccupied with my academic studies in high school. I was quite frustrated at the time, but I ultimately managed to overcome these challenges. It is important to trust your parents and recognize that they communicate in their own way. By doing so, you may find a greater sense of inner peace and resilience.

Furthermore, it is evident that you recall the instances when your parents took you on joyful excursions during your childhood. From your perspective as a child, your parents exhibited a remarkable degree of harmony and cohesion. This observation led me to question the veracity of the memories we hold from our childhood. Why might this be? It is possible that when we were younger, we slept soundly and adhered to the norms and behaviors of our elders. Consequently, it is plausible that your parents engaged in disagreements when you were not present. This implies that the image of your parents as a harmonious couple may have been a mere reflection of a few positive instances. Instead, let us view this as an optimistic expectation for the future.

Additionally, I would like to mention that my parents, now in their advanced age, have exhibited similar patterns of conflict during their younger years. Despite occasional disagreements, their relationship has remained remarkably resilient. When observing their interactions, I have come to perceive that the intensity of their arguments is not as pronounced as it was during their youth. Moreover, I have observed a distinct shift in my own approach to conflict. While I engage in arguments, I also strive to maintain a high level of consideration and respect. This realization has led me to seek guidance through psychology, with the ultimate goal of extending support to others who may be facing similar challenges.

The experiences of my parents and my own illustrate that the situation your parents are in is, in fact, normal. I would also like to discuss the case of a classmate of my child. At the time, they were also in junior high school, and my child's classmate was particularly concerned about his parents. He stated that his parents frequently expressed a desire to divorce, and he was fearful that they would do so. At that time, I also advised my child to do his utmost to reassure him, informing him that it was acceptable, that his parents were merely engaged in a disagreement and uttering statements they did not truly intend, and that as long as he performed well at school, his parents were striving for a superior quality of life. Presently, they are both in college, and his classmate's parents are leading a fulfilling existence.

It is therefore incumbent upon the younger generation to avoid allowing their parents' disagreements to have a significant impact on them. This is a matter that should be resolved between the parents themselves. It would be beneficial for them to read the book A Change of Heart, which contains specific methods for changing one's mind in a gradual manner.

Ultimately, it is my hope that you will be able to extricate yourself from this situation at the earliest possible convenience. Furthermore, it is my sincere wish that you will be able to perceive the harmony that exists between your parents when they engage in heated discussions and that you will be able to replenish your lost energy with minimal delay so that you may resume living your life to the fullest.

I extend my affection to the world and to you.

Dear questioner, I appreciate you taking the time to ask your question.

From what I can gather from reading your question, I sense that you are experiencing a range of complex emotions, including sadness and depression. Is that an accurate interpretation?

1. Regarding the question of whether it is too much of a concern to consider the emotions of one's parents.

With regard to the question of whether one might care too much about one's parents' emotions, and the potential long-term effects this could have,

I admire your awareness of these issues and your willingness to recognize what affects you.

This is not sufficient, however. It is of the utmost importance that you attempt to refrain from becoming excessively involved in your parents' relationship.

It is important to remember that becoming overly involved in your parents' relationship can impact your original position as a child.

In a healthy family system, we can observe that parents and children each occupy their respective roles. A healthy family system is a normal and healthy family system. The energy and momentum generated by a healthy family system is also relatively strong and powerful.

In a less functional family system, the child may become overly invested in the relationship between the parents and may even try to intervene to improve it, which can result in the child taking on too much and potentially experiencing emotional distress.

If it is possible for you to do so, I would gently suggest that you try to let go of your worry about your parents' relationship and your involvement in it. This will allow you to grow and take responsibility for yourself and for your parents.

If you feel you are unable to do this, it is important to recognise that you are not obliged to force yourself to do so. Instead, it may be more helpful to accept that you are unable to let go, and then to gradually let go in a way that feels right for you.

2. Regarding the decline in grades in junior high school.

Regarding the original poster, it seems that when you were in junior high school, that is, when your parents were fighting a lot, your grades also dropped significantly. This could be an indication that there may be some issues in our family relationships that we could benefit from addressing.

It might be helpful to view a significant decline in grades as an external manifestation and reminder that requires our attention.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that our own emotions may require particular attention and care in this regard.

3. About feeling affected by emotions.

If I might make a suggestion, when the questioner feels affected by emotions, it would be beneficial to respect their self-awareness and feelings. They are actually very powerful and at the same time very honest with themselves.

When we reflect on the past, there is often a sense of sadness. This sadness can indicate a longing for a past family relationship that is no longer present.

It can be quite painful to feel that you have lost something you once had. It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of any part of your parent's love, as this is a natural process.

It might be said that the emotions influenced by parents are a manifestation of undifferentiated emotions. Similarly, it could be argued that being easily influenced by the emotions of parents is a necessary path for psychological development.

In this regard, it might be helpful to consider gradually distancing yourself emotionally from your parents while distinguishing between your own feelings and their actions. It can also be beneficial to take time to understand your parents' emotions and perspectives, as well as to clarify who is responsible for what.

You might also consider keeping an emotional diary. Many people have found that allowing emotions to flow naturally through pen and paper can be a helpful process.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. I wish you well in your journey.

Let's sort this out together.

(1) You care too much about the relationship between your parents.

@You've already identified the core issue, which demonstrates your ability to perceive yourself with clarity and objectivity.

(2) You have been having frequent dreams where your parents are fighting, which is making you feel depressed when you wake up.

This shows that this matter has had a deep impact on you. Problems that cannot be solved in reality are transferred to the subconscious, where they are released through dreams and emotions, and the self-healing process begins.

(3) They have always had a bad relationship. During junior high school, they had a small fight every other day and a major fight every other week. Your grades also dropped significantly. Later, although the frequency of their heated arguments decreased, they often still fought with hidden weapons.

It's clear that this has been going on for a while now, and it's had a negative impact on your grades.

Think further about whether there is an absolute necessity between the two.

(4) You always miss the time when they got along well when you were very young, and you miss the time when they took you out for fun.

@The peaceful and friendly atmosphere has a nourishing and healing magnetic field.

(5) You say you feel like a little kid who never grows up, and every time there is a little friction between them, it's like you're on the verge of a breakdown, but it's pent up in the subconscious.

Remove the rhetorical description. You have accurately described your position and state of mind.

(6) You know there's something wrong with your emotions, but you can't find a way to solve it. It's affecting your studies and life over time.

As an ordinary person majoring in psychology, it is challenging to sense one's emotions and have a clear understanding of oneself.

The first thing you must do is accept your emotions. This means accepting not just the positive and pleasant parts, but also the negative emotions that have ever appeared in you.

Think further about what is behind these emotions. You will find the answer.

You've got this!

Hello! Just wanted to send you a warm hug from afar.

It's understandable that you're feeling the physical and mental effects of your parents' marital conflict. It can be unsettling and frightening. I appreciate your awareness of your emotional state. It's a great first step towards positive change.

Give yourself a break. When you're dealing with marital conflicts and friction between your parents, you might feel afraid or uneasy. Your emotions are just your body and mind reacting to the situation. So, don't beat yourself up about having these emotions. They're not a sign of failure to grow up.

It's normal for couples to have conflicts in a marriage. How parents deal with these conflicts can have a big impact on their children's emotions. If parents always respond to these conflicts with strong, intense emotions, it can make their children feel afraid and anxious. Kids instinctively feel loyal and love their parents, so they may start to blame themselves for the conflict between their parents. This can lead to feelings of guilt, self-blame, and even a sense of abandonment.

Kids will try to take responsibility for their parents' discord by trying to be themselves and express themselves the way their parents expect. This is to relieve their inner feelings of guilt and their desire to be accepted and loved. If the child doesn't realize this, they may lose themselves.

It's important to remember that any conflict between parents isn't your fault. You can try to tell them how you feel and what you need from them so that you can feel accepted and loved.

Of course, you need to be aware of how your parents deal with conflicts and have explored your feelings of fear and unease to understand your real needs.

Keeping an emotional diary is a great way to understand your feelings better and explore what's going on inside you. It also helps you reflect on your needs and care for yourself. When parents aren't responding to your inner needs, you can try to respond to yourself in a way you think a good parent should.

Hi, I'm Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Center. The world and I love you.

Hello, classmate! You need to understand that you cannot control whether your parents have a bad relationship. There may be some irreconcilable conflicts between them.

It's normal to be affected by living with your parents, but you shouldn't let them influence you too much. Talk to them openly about what's going on and ask them what's happening between them.

Ask them what their attitude towards each other is like. If a reconciliation is possible, give them advice or talk to your father or mother separately to find out where the conflict lies and for both of them to admit their mistakes.

If you feel that your parents are headed for divorce, you need to accept it. They may be going their separate ways, but they still love you.

You will eventually grow up and become independent, gradually separating yourself from your parents' lives. Set a short-term goal for yourself, such as studying hard to get into an ideal university, or finding your own interests and hobbies.

You can reduce the impact of this event on you by immersing yourself in your studies or interests. When you're feeling down, communicate with your friends or listen to music to vent your emotions.

While we vent our emotions, we must also consider this matter. Parents want you to become a better version of yourself.

So devote your time to things that interest you and become the best version of yourself. Your parents are related to you by blood, but you will ultimately have to live your own life.