How can one truly provide children with "freedom, love, and respect"?

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you.

Your question brings to mind a Singaporean TV drama I happened to see some time ago.

The play mentioned a teenage boy who was unable to attend the exam that morning due to illness.

However, his father was insistent that it was due to his son's extensive gaming that he was unable to attend the exam.

The father was insistent on confiscating his son's computer, which led to a significant disagreement between them.

That scene was observed by the school social worker, who had come to return something to the son.

The social worker took the opportunity to offer some guidance to the father.

The father was momentarily at a loss for words when he was asked, "Father, has he ever had the chance to understand his son's needs? Has he truly had the opportunity to understand what his son really wants?"

It is not uncommon for us to believe that we are acting in the best interests of our children.

As the saying goes in psychology, there is a kind of detachment that can make mothers feel that their children are being ignored.

As parents, we often find ourselves in a position where we feel we don't have all the answers. It's not always easy to listen to our children and understand their perspective.

It is possible that children may feel that they are not respected or understood.

This is why they may feel the need to rebel.

It is not necessarily the case that you cannot let your child play with the phone.

It really depends on your child's age.

If your child is still in primary school, you might consider setting some rules. For example, you could say that after finishing their homework for the day, you will let them play with their phone.

If your child is already in secondary school, you might consider having a conversation with them.

Perhaps you could try saying something like, "Mom would like to know how much time you spend on your phone each day and what your daily study plan is like."

I truly hope that you will be able to resolve this issue soon.

I hope these suggestions are helpful for now.

I hope that my above answer has been helpful and inspiring to you. I am honored to be the answer, and I study hard every day.

I would like to extend my warmest regards to you all here at Yixinli. I wish you all the best.

I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing.

Hello! You seem confused about how to give your child freedom, love, and respect.

You and your sister say your child is rebellious and disobedient. Your sister says you control too much and don't give your child love and respect.

Your child is rebellious and disobedient. They may be going through a rebellious stage or you may have been too demanding. When they make a mistake, you may have used a strong approach, which has caused them to feel depressed.

As your child gets older, he'll become more resistant to your demands. If you keep challenging his authority, he'll turn against you.

Your sister thinks you're too strict with your child. But discipline and respect don't have to be contradictory.

Parents show love in different ways, which affects how children behave. You're strict with your child because you love them and want them to do well.

There are ways to discipline your child without commanding them or pointing out their mistakes. You can try positive discipline, for example, by telling them what you would like to see them do instead.

When talking to your child, stay calm and talk nicely.

Children are still learning, and studying hard is for them to live a more relaxed life in the future.

Children can't see the future, so they focus on the fun now. With schoolwork being stressful, if you let your child do whatever they want, they may not want to study or play.

You can't be completely free after starting work. You should plan your study and leisure time.

Your child's current performance means they spend too much time learning, because they want to play and are distracted. Talk to your child and let them play for half an hour when they're doing homework or other activities.

Help your child balance study and play. Don't cut back on play too much.

This will make the child resistant, not want to study, and unable to learn.

The short answer is to listen, compromise, communicate calmly, focus on the issue, and help your child develop good study habits. Best wishes!

Hello, dear friend! As a mother, I understand your feelings very well and I hope that my answer can be of some help to you.

I'm not sure how old your little one is, but it's so important to remember that we need to communicate with kids in different ways at different stages. If your child is going through a rebellious phase twice, it's totally normal for them to show some rebellion. It just shows that they're developing their sense of self. We just need to give them respect, while also making sure they're safe. And true freedom, love, and respect don't mean having no rules and indulging. They mean freedom and permission within certain rules.

I'd love to share some advice with you:

It's a great idea to learn a little bit about child development and give your little one the psychological nourishment they need at each stage.

Children need different kinds of love and attention at different ages. For example, before they turn one, children need a sense of security. This means we need to give them timely and accurate responses. Children at this stage cannot be spoiled, and the more secure they are at this stage, the more independent they will become when they grow up. When children reach the age of two or so, they will enter the first stage of self-awareness development, which is the first rebellious period in their lives. At this time, they will want to eat by themselves, dress themselves, close the car door... We need to respect the child's autonomy and let him do it himself, rather than helping him do it. When children reach the age of three or so, between the ages of 3 and 6, we need to establish rules for ourselves, because children ultimately need to enter and adapt to society. Without rules, it will be difficult for them to adapt to society in the future. When children enter adolescence, they want to be independent and be respected. Then we need to gradually change our role, give the child freedom of choice, discuss some things with him, and respect his needs and opinions, rather than just listening to us about everything...

2. It's so important to understand your child's needs and let him know that you're on his side. A good parent-child relationship is the foundation of any good communication. Without a good relationship, he might not listen to what you say.

Every behavior a child exhibits is driven by a need. A child repeats certain behaviors because they satisfy certain needs. If we don't understand our children and force them to do something, they'll feel like we don't understand them and will resist us. When they feel like we're not on their side, it can lead to problems in the parent-child relationship and make it harder for them to communicate with us. But when we can understand, accept, and respect our children and they feel like we're on their side, our words will have more influence and they'll be more willing to listen to us.

3. Stand on an equal footing with your child and see what he is getting from playing with his phone. It's so important to understand what he needs and whether these needs can be met in the real world. As parents, we can guide our children and set conditions that help them learn and grow.

If your child has reached puberty, it's really important to communicate with them on an equal footing. For example, when it comes to playing with the mobile phone, we need to look at what he is getting out of it with a curious mind, and what needs it is actually satisfying.

You could ask him, "Hey, why do you like playing with your phone so much? What benefits do you think playing with your phone brings you?"

I'd love to hear your ideas on how we can experience these feelings and benefits in real life!

Then, you can express some of your feelings and expectations. For example, you want to play with your phone, and your mother understands, but she is worried that playing with it too much will affect your eyesight and physical health. Let's discuss it together. How long can you play with it each day? Also, let's see how we can experience the happiness in the phone in real life. If you need your mother to give you some help, for example, let's go hiking or shopping together, your mother is also willing to accompany you...

And the great thing is, the more you chat, the stronger your bond with your mum will be!

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you the best!

Hello, landlord!

Giving children genuine freedom, love, and respect is an amazing journey that requires attention in the following areas:

Respect your child's individual differences! Every child is unique and has their own way of thinking, preferences, and needs. Respect their individuality and don't expect them to act exactly as you would like. Be tolerant!

It's so important to discover your child's interests and talents and get to know their character traits!

It's so important to listen to your child's opinions and feelings! Give your child the opportunity to express their opinions and feelings, and listen carefully. Try to understand their point of view, and respect their thoughts even if you don't necessarily agree.

It's so important to see his needs and understand his feelings!

It's so important to establish good communication channels with your child. When you have a close relationship with them, they feel they can trust and confide in you. And when you have that kind of relationship, you can really understand their needs and problems.

Be patient!

Offer appropriate autonomy and watch them flourish! Give children a certain amount of autonomy and the opportunity to make decisions and take responsibility. This will develop their self-confidence and ability to think independently.

It's also a great idea to help him develop his life skills by letting him take on some household chores.

Set clear rules and boundaries! While respecting your child's freedom, it is also necessary to set some clear rules and boundaries. This will protect their safety and health and help them establish the right values and code of conduct.

It's important to remember that prolonged use of mobile phones, tablets, and television is not good for your child's eyesight and health.

Give your child genuine love and support! It's so important for children to feel your love and support. Show them care, encouragement, and praise, and let them know that you are always there to support their growth and development.

Get to know your child through storytelling and parent-child interaction. Children need freedom, love, and respect, and they'll thrive when they feel understood and respected. Nurture a great relationship with your child and strike a balance between freedom and rules, and they'll grow into confident, independent, and responsible people!