How can this behavior of online lending be explained from a psychological perspective, and is there a chance to make it right again?

Hello! I'm so sorry to hear that your family has had a run-in with online loans. Online loans can be a bit like social tumors, and they've caused problems for many families. But don't fret! These problems go far beyond just money. As you said, they can even trigger a crisis of trust and lead to big family problems, such as whether the marriage will continue.

First of all, you are a very rational person! When faced with sudden changes, you made the best decision by choosing the e-psychological platform to help you analyze the situation. This is an excellent way to make the right decision next time.

Let's dive in and analyze the whole thing together next!

I'm excited to hear more about why your husband chose to take out a loan!

Has the family had any major expenses recently?

Has your husband discussed with you how to raise money when the family is short of money? It would be great to hear what he's done to solve this problem!

It would be really helpful for us to know what your husband spends the money he borrows online on. Have you had a chance to check?

And now for the big question! Apart from online loans, does your husband have other ways to raise money?

And the big question is: will he still go online to borrow money in the future? Let's consider the following questions.

You've graduated from university and received a higher education, which means you have a relatively complete way of thinking. This is great because it means you can consider things like the interest on the loan and how to repay it. Has your husband considered this?

When your husband was growing up, did someone always help him solve problems when he made serious mistakes?

Now for the big question! How should the more authoritative elders in the family system (focus on those who have lived with your husband for a long time) handle financial issues?

You've already sold the house to pay off the debt, which means that the online loan has been going on for some time. After selling the house or paying off the debt, what is the attitude of your husband and in-laws, and how much have they learned from this experience (if it is a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate it)?

It's so great that your husband is now paying your child's living expenses on time every month! How is his financial situation now? Is it easy for him to pay his child's living expenses, or does he have some difficulty doing so, or is it still very difficult for him?

I'm excited to hear how your husband handled the financial problems your family encountered before taking out the loan!

To answer the above questions, we should analyze the husband's upbringing and environment. People with habits and routines generally don't change overnight. They usually show signs when they have to deal with similar problems or face major pressures. So please recall the situation calmly and carefully. After all, the child is only three years old, and you should hold yourself responsible for being responsible for the child.

Next, you'll come to two amazing conclusions!

If you can keep going, you'll be amazed at what you can achieve! It's time to adjust your mentality and not dwell on what happened in the past. At the same time, you've got to encourage your husband so he can see hope for the future!

If you can't continue, great mother, you must face it with strength. You still have the amazing opportunity to grow up with your child!

No matter what, you will finally have a handle on the troubling matters. You will feel less mentally exhausted, and the days ahead will get better and better!

Advice:

Before getting married, it's a great idea to learn more about it and not let your head be turned by love!

There are so many social traps out there, but you can absolutely escape them unscathed! Your character is the most important thing, so make sure you keep it strong!

Hello. I understand your distress, but I can help. It is indeed quite frustrating to have the main breadwinner in the family be unreliable.

I'm going to tell you a story of redemption. A friend of mine had a child who had a low-paying job and a girlfriend with no income.

When the online loan, principal and interest, reached more than 100,000 yuan, he was unable to repay it and had no choice but to ask his parents for help, who paid it off. His parents were extremely angry and beat and scolded him. The child knew he was in the wrong and agreed to do whatever they said.

But a few years later, the child owed another 200,000 yuan. It was clear that the child was finished, and everyone wondered when this day would end.

A friend of the child had an idea: first, pay off the debt for the child; second, ask the child to stop working away from home.

This child is currently working in a place where his parents can see him. He has already gotten married and had children. He is leading a pretty good life.

Secondly, from experience, I can say with confidence that it is basically difficult for people who have become problematic because of online loans to get out on their own. Living beyond one's means and overspending cuts off this path, and the person will immediately encounter practical difficulties, unless someone helps them restore their normal spending ability.

You need to pay off the online loans and regain the ability to earn as much as you spend.

Ultimately, it depends on whether the people supporting him are strong and determined enough. If they can get him through this difficult period and find him a job where he can earn a normal salary and get paid on time, then there is a good outcome.

Otherwise, it will be difficult.

I am confident that this will be of assistance.

Good day, my name is Xin Tan and I'm a coach working with Mo Xiaofan. I believe that online lending can be addictive because the money is often made available too easily. People may not realize the potential harm it can cause. By the time they react, they may already be in a challenging situation.

The potential for change hinges on the other party's recognition of the gravity of the situation.

It is important to remember that everyone is responsible for their own choices. If the other party fully understands the impact of online lending on the family, it would be beneficial for them to be transparent about the financial situation. This could involve providing a detailed list of money owed, explaining where previous funds have been spent, and outlining a plan for repaying subsequent debts.

If the other party is still unable to provide the necessary information and continues to spend money without a reasonable plan, it would be advisable for the questioner to take action to prevent further loss. Online loans often have high interest rates, and the resulting debt can be significant.

It's true that the other party's family does have some influence, but it's also true that he has some problems of his own. It's not uncommon for wages to be delayed on construction projects, but it would be helpful to understand where he is spending the money. If it is all going to the family, that is understandable, and you can figure it out together in the future and just avoid it in a reasonable way.

If your primary objective is to show off and you are indifferent to the well-being of your family, it would be prudent to consider the potential consequences of your actions. While selling the house may seem like a viable solution in the short term, it could lead to further difficulties in the future. It is essential to communicate with your partner and his family to ensure that they are aware of the boundaries and expectations within the relationship. Otherwise, your partner may perceive that they can always rely on you to cover for them when they make mistakes.

2. It is important to recognize that avoidance may not be the most effective solution. Learning to face the issue head-on is crucial.

After marriage, the two sides become one whole, and it is often the case that assets and liabilities are a community. Therefore, it may be helpful to consider that the questioner's avoidance may not be the most effective solution to the problem.

Now that the matter has come to light, it would be beneficial to resolve it once and for all, rather than muddle through. Of course, if both families are well-off and can fully afford these external debts, it may be a different matter.

Given that the other party used a credit card, some of the information may be reflected in the credit report. It would be advisable for him to explain everything clearly and see if he can find a way to deal with it. It would also be helpful for the family to figure out how to fill the hole together.

If the other party continues to avoid the issue and you are reluctant to address it, the debt is likely to continue to grow. It's important to remember that interest is not concerned with human feelings, and credit checks are becoming increasingly rigorous in the future, which could potentially impact the entire family.

It is particularly important for couples to understand that some debts cannot simply be dismissed as not their responsibility. In such cases, it may be helpful to seek professional legal advice to avoid any further complications.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first.

You might be feeling uneasy, afraid, or anxious about your husband's large debts from online lending that you didn't know about.

Let yourself feel the panic and unease you'll probably have when you find out your husband has borrowed a lot of money online without telling you. Try to get along with these uncomfortable feelings and think about what you need from him. For example, you might need him to respect you, trust you, understand you, need you, and comfort you.

So, you could try telling your husband how you really feel. This will show him that his actions have hurt you deeply and that you need his support and comfort right now.

He made a mistake by taking out a loan without telling you. It's caused problems in your relationship and made you feel disrespected. But I think he did it because he loves you and wants to keep your family happy. You said he's always paid the bills, so it's clear he cares about you and the kids.

He doesn't tell you on his own initiative because he's afraid you'll worry. You're avoiding talking to him about this on your own initiative because you're afraid he'll fall into a vicious cycle. He's also fearful and afraid. He needs your acceptance, understanding, and support the most. He can't bravely express his inner vulnerability to you, so he needs your support. He's afraid you'll reject him because he's already hurt you.

It's understandable that 500,000 is a lot of money for an average family. You might be worried about what will happen if you let him take out the loan. One way to minimize the harm of online lending to your family is to share your concerns with him. It seems like you want your husband to stop taking out the loan on time. It's important to support him during this difficult time. Let him know that he's not alone and that, even though he made a mistake, he's still a good husband and father. This will give him the courage and determination to try to change. Otherwise, your indifference might make him feel rejected. He's already facing a lot of pressure from online lending. If you're not supportive, he might have a self-destructive impulse to give up.

What are your thoughts on this?

You can do this by writing him a letter expressing your emotions from the five parts of feeling: anger, sadness, fear, remorse, and love. Let him see that you're sincere, accepting, understanding, and loving, and that you understand the harm your actions have caused to you and your family. Take the initiative to reflect on your actions, and then work with him to find a way to repay the loan on time and reduce the harm it causes to your family.

Nothing's impossible with a little love. You've got this!

I love you, the world, and everything in it.

Hello,

I'll give you a warm hug if you want.

First, it's fair to say that we're currently in a period of "national indebtedness." Many people have car loans, mortgages, and online loans, and the interest really adds up. It's anyone's guess what it'll become under certain circumstances.

Second, I'm not sure if the current debt has been paid off. From the questioner's perspective, there are emotions, fear, worries about the future, a lack of trust in the lover, complaints about colleagues, and anger at one's own choices. It can be said that there are all kinds of emotions!

Third, it's unclear why the two of them can't get along. The individual's thought is that if they can live together, it will end this situation.

Questioner, you can see if your current distress is really caused by "online lending." It's just a trigger, and the real meaning may be that you need to adjust your state of mind further.

Here are a few questions for you to think about:

First, I'd like to ask if there are any conflicts in the two people's lives.

Second, how do you see your partner and yourself?

Third, if you want to change the way you live your life, are you willing to take the risk?

In a marriage, it's important to know your place in the family so you can see the way forward clearly. Only by understanding your relationship with your family can you see your relationship with yourself clearly. We all wear masks that we don't want to let go of easily. Thank you for facing our lives and some of our current lifestyles. We need to face them formally in order to find answers.

You need to have hope for the future, believe in yourself, and take care of your emotions. You can find ways to channel your energy, reflect on your experiences, and move forward with confidence.

I'm Yingying, your counselor.

I love you, and I think the world does too.

Some individuals may become addicted to online lending, whereby they may perceive that they are not obliged to assume responsibility for such behavior. They may even be capable of readily increasing their consumption level to an exceedingly high level and achieving a superior standard of living by deferring the minimum payment for installment loans.

Some individuals may exhibit a tendency toward gambling behavior with online lending. They may perceive that they can generate a modest profit with a significant investment and attempt to borrow funds with a trial-and-error mentality. Subsequently, they may utilize these loans to pursue risky investments, unaware that they may also incur substantial losses.

It is advisable to pursue only those investments that are demonstrably stable. Other high-risk investments may result in adverse outcomes. The potential for your partner to change his behavior depends on his values and motivation. It is reasonable to inquire as to whether your husband will resume honest employment.

It is essential to ascertain the rationale behind his previous loans. This is crucial as, in the construction industry, wages are often not paid on time. He resorted to taking out online loans to ensure the functioning of your family. It is plausible that this was a situation beyond his control.

Furthermore, this situation is distressing. Subsequently, the couple was compelled to sell their residence to repay the debt. Additionally, the wife is responsible for supporting her child, which is a significant concern. She does not trust her husband and experiences feelings of worry, fear, unease, and anxiety. She is also concerned that her husband may engage in loan-related activities. Currently, it is crucial for her to ascertain the truth and reduce her husband's reliance on credit. If his income is stable and his spending is reduced, the situation may improve.

Please clarify the question.