How do you decide whether to get a divorce? What other dimensions are there besides infidelity and domestic violence?

Hello! I'll give you a hug from head to toe.

I'm not sure what you're asking or why.

Just as marriage is free, so is divorce. There's no need to explain to anyone why you're getting divorced. Many people say that incompatibility is the main reason for divorce.

According to the latest stats, the top reasons for divorce are infidelity, domestic violence, sexual issues, in-laws, money, psychological factors, personality differences, and so on. It's clear that infidelity and domestic violence are major causes of divorce, and they account for a significant portion.

Of course, there are also many people who divorce for other reasons.

But in most cases, divorce doesn't need to be explained to others. Some people disapprove and even criticize divorces that aren't caused by infidelity or domestic violence. If you disapprove, just disapprove. If you criticize, just criticize. You can't please everyone anyway.

As for those who judge divorce by certain dimensions, there's no standard for this either. I think the most important thing is how the people involved feel.

Ultimately, marriage is like drinking fish water: you know best whether it's hot or cold. Only the feelings of the people involved are the most real. There are many other people who watch a seemingly perfect marriage end quietly because the people in it don't feel that the marriage is perfect, and perfection is just an appearance.

Of course, marriage still requires caution, and one should not divorce at the first sign of trouble. Marriage needs to be nurtured. It requires communication, respect, empathy, and support. When problems are discovered in a marriage, the first thing to think about is how to solve them. After all, the two people were definitely in love at the beginning if they could get married.

It's easy to fall in love, but it's hard to get along with each other. Marriage still needs to be worked on, and it requires the joint efforts of both parties to make it work.

If you've given it your all and still can't continue, then respect your feelings.

I'm often a Buddhist and a pessimist, but I try to be an occasionally positive and motivated counselor. I love the world and I love you.

It's not really a scientific question whether or not to get a divorce.

If you have this problem, don't rely on dimensions or indicators. Infidelity and domestic violence are the most intolerable factors.

Other things that can lead to divorce are problems with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, personality clashes, sexual problems, a big difference in income, stress from raising kids, or one person's debt causing financial problems.

If it's a friend or client, the answer is similar, but depends on the situation. If there's a chance of reconciliation, it's better to persuade than to be persuaded.

It's not easy to start a new relationship. Think about all the things that could go wrong and if you have things in common.

Third, whether or not to get married and be happy is your business. It doesn't have much to do with your parents.

Don't worry about what others think. People in less developed areas tend to think more about it.

But these are all outside factors. You decide your own life. Rely on your feelings.

A young man (ID: qingnianJIA2020) wants to keep in touch.

Yi Xinli Answering Questions Hall, a community of mutual help. The world and I love you. https://m.xinli001.com/qa

Hello, question asker! From your question, I can see that you think the end of a marriage needs to be accepted by public opinion. I wonder if you might consider whether infidelity and domestic violence are acceptable and reasonable grounds for divorce.

It is important to recognize that there can be a multitude of reasons for entering into a marriage, and similarly, there can be a multitude of reasons for ending a marriage. However, it is essential to understand that everyone's reasons are unique, and as a result, it can be challenging to establish a universal standard. The issues of infidelity and domestic violence are generally regarded as unacceptable by society at large. This makes it more challenging to gain public sympathy in such cases.

Ultimately, though, you are the only one who knows how you feel and what you think about married life. Your feelings are the most important thing to consider when deciding whether the other person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

A good marriage is not about always having smooth sailing. It is about two people who are willing to support and trust each other when faced with pressure and challenges. It is also about two people who have their own bottom lines and are recognized and respected by each other.

It's important to recognize that perfection is an unattainable ideal. Even in our own lives, there are bound to be aspects we dislike, things we regret, or actions we're sorry for. It's therefore understandable that we might have high expectations of our partners, but it's also crucial to acknowledge that nobody is perfect.

A good marriage is one in which two people are able and willing to communicate sincerely, understand and accept each other, and hope to solve problems in a way that is acceptable to both. However, if communication is impossible, if there is cold violence between each other, and if neither person is willing to give in first, no matter how good the start of the marriage, it will be very difficult to overcome this kind of attrition in the later stages.

In light of these considerations, it is important to respect your true feelings, avoid causing harm to yourself or others, and if possible, have a driving force that motivates you to persevere. You may find it helpful to list these factors.

It is important to remember that public opinion is just a reflection of other people's views, feelings, and evaluations. Your life is yours to live, and you are the best judge of what is right for you. If you can consider your true feelings when making decisions, it might help you make the best choices for yourself.

I wish you the best!

Greetings. I am a Heart Exploration coach. Everything is straightforward. I discern that your inquiry pertains to the criteria for determining whether to pursue a divorce.

One might inquire as to the criteria that can be employed to ascertain whether or not to pursue a divorce. In addition to infidelity and domestic violence, it is my assessment that public opinion has largely ceased to accept other reasons for divorce. I will endeavor to respond to your queries.

One must consider the circumstances of one's own divorce, as well as the circumstances of others.

It is evident that the questioner has reservations regarding the criteria and circumstances that qualify for divorce. The perception that divorce is only acceptable if there is a valid reason that is deemed acceptable by public opinion is a common one.

The question from the original poster prompts reflection on the nature of marital decision-making. It is evident that the decision to marry or divorce is not solely within an individual's control. Furthermore, it is not a decision that can be taken lightly, as it has significant implications for both the individual and their partner. Rather, it is shaped by social norms and expectations, which can influence the decision to enter or end a marriage.

If an individual is experiencing distress or discomfort at their place of employment, would they choose to relinquish their position due to their own distress, or would they persevere in the face of adversity to avoid negative perceptions from others and maintain their employment?

There is no definitive answer to the question of why people divorce.

Including the two major issues mentioned by the original poster, domestic violence and infidelity, as well as vices such as gambling, prostitution, and drug addiction, many individuals still opt to remain in an abusive or unfaithful relationship despite the presence of these issues, even when presented with the option of divorce.

Domestic violence and infidelity are not prerequisites for divorce.

2. An individual's perspective on marriage is an integral aspect of their overall worldview.

What is the questioner's perspective on marriage? What motivated you to enter into a marriage? Was it your own pursuit of happiness, or were you influenced by external expectations and societal norms?

What are the most essential needs of the individual in a marital relationship, and can these needs be fulfilled within the context of this particular relationship?

One's perspective on marriage is an integral aspect of one's overall outlook on life. In a marital relationship, it is evident that the two individuals involved often hold disparate views. Each of us has a unique relationship with ourselves, with others, and with the world.

A marriage relationship requires constant maintenance and the application of both ability and wisdom. Both individuals undergo growth in an intimate relationship. It is recommended that the questioner read the chapters on family and love in the personal growth series by Peking University psychologist Wu Zhihong, including "Why Love Hurts," "Why Family Hurts," and "May You Have a Life Illuminated by Love."

Through continuous learning, individuals can gain insight into their own views on marriage. From a social perspective, marriage is primarily about the biological imperative to reproduce offspring. However, from a personal standpoint, it is about achieving greater happiness. A good marriage is one in which two people are happier together than they would be as individuals.

A healthy intimate relationship necessitates the collaborative efforts of both parties, encompassing mutual honesty, understanding, tolerance, and adjustment. The degree of investment in the relationship is contingent upon the willingness and capacity of the two individuals involved. The individual who posed the question regarding intimate relationships may also benefit from studying literature such as "Intimate Relationships," "Knowing Love," and "Is Everything My Fault?" to gain a comprehensive understanding of the characteristics and dynamics of an optimal intimate relationship.

The capacity to learn, grow, and improve oneself is a lifelong benefit, regardless of whether one ultimately decides to divorce or remain married. The ability to recognize the challenges that arise in any relationship is a key factor in personal growth and development.

It is important to recognize that marriage is a relationship and that one's own feelings should be respected.

It is evident that the questioner attaches considerable importance to social opinion, and it is irrefutable that divorce is a topic that attracts considerable attention, just like marriage.

The questioner is at liberty to make a choice based on their own situation. Divorce is a loss that will cause both people to lose a great deal, including having to face the disapproving gaze of acquaintances, relatives, friends, and colleagues. Others may also be quick to assume that the person who got divorced is problematic, incompetent, and a failure.

It is acknowledged that there are differing views on the subject of divorce. This author's position is that divorce represents the optimal means of achieving happiness in a relationship, contingent upon the joint efforts of both parties.

Divorce is about two people living better and happier lives. Marriage is merely a form of union, not a restrictive or confining institution. It is not necessary to allow the opinions of others to cause distress or suffering.

This is a process of weighing the advantages and disadvantages. One may find oneself unable to tolerate social opinions or the reality of suffering within a marriage. In such cases, it is possible to respect one's feelings while conducting a pros and cons analysis to ascertain the most beneficial course of action.

Additionally, the questioner may wish to consider seeking the assistance of a professional marriage counselor. Such a counselor can assist with sorting out thoughts, adjusting perceptions, providing guidance in navigating predicaments, and enhancing overall life satisfaction.

Should you wish to communicate further, you are invited to click on the link below to find a coach who can interpret your message, select a heart exploration that will accompany you, and communicate with you one-on-one. We wish you the best of luck.