Hello, Jiang 61 here.
Thank you for asking a good question: "How does jealousy affect relationships?"
I think you're confused about how to deal with your jealousy and your relationships. Let me share my thoughts.
1. Jealousy and envy
1. Definition
Jealousy
Jealousy is a feeling of indifference, belittlement, rejection, and hostility towards those around you who deserve certain rights and interests. It can lead to hatred.
Envy
Envy is wanting what someone else has when you see that they have an advantage, benefit, or favorable condition. It is the opposite of jealousy.
The difference between envy and jealousy
Jealousy and envy are opposites. They are two ways of expressing one's own feelings about others. There are four differences between them: how they are used, who uses them, and what they mean.
1. Envy is positive. It means appreciating others' good things. Jealousy is negative. It means wishing harm on others.
2. Different words: envy is positive or neutral, while jealousy is negative.
3. Mature people with a strong sense of tolerance and who are good to themselves mostly envy you. Immature people are jealous, vindictive, and hostile.
4. Different consequences:
Envy is the desire to be like others. Jealousy is the state of mind of not being able to tolerate the good fortune of others.
Many criminals are jealous.
Jealousy is negative and confrontational. Envy is positive.
On the surface, the two seem different, but they are both a reflection of the other person's achievements. They are just opposite in terms of expression. Whether it is envy or jealousy, it is all a state of mind.
If you want something, you have to pursue it. Have the right attitude and behavior to succeed. You will succeed and make others envious.
2. How it affects you mentally
Jealousy is also called "red-eye disease," "jealousy," or "being jealous of others' success." It can make you feel pressure, disappointment, shame, humiliation, dissatisfaction, resentment, and hatred.
Jealousy is a complex emotion that includes many other unpleasant feelings. It can be triggered by other people's appearance, intelligence, or social status.
Jealousy
Jealousy often starts when we feel inferior to others. It's caused by a loss of confidence and competitiveness.
Jealousy is not only an emotional response. It can also be a non-emotional desire to compete.
Why it happens
Jealousy is an instinct that comes from two things.
People need to protect their territory and defend their mating privileges. This is as true for humans as it is for lions.
The second is the need to share resources. In ancient times, people had to work together to get enough resources for everyone. So, equality was important for survival.
3. Social effects
Jealousy can make social interactions fair and logical. It makes people protect their rights and interests.
Jealousy can also stop those in power from being too extreme by letting people monitor their actions.
2. Interpersonal relationships
1. Definition
Interpersonal relationships are interactions between people. They are expressed through thoughts, feelings, and actions. These can be attraction, rejection, cooperation, competition, leadership, and obedience. They also include cultural and institutional patterns and social relationships. The main manifestations are the psychological distance between people, their psychological tendencies towards others, and corresponding behaviors.
2. Psychological effects
Interpersonal relationships are about how people feel about each other. If they like or dislike each other, they will be close or distant.
Interpersonal relationships have three parts: what you know about each other, how you act towards each other, and how you feel about each other. The feelings are the most important part.
Interpersonal relationships show how well both people are taken care of. If they can take care of each other, they are more likely to form a close relationship. Otherwise, they are more likely to reject each other.
Social effects
Interpersonal relationships are based on social relationships. These relationships affect how people interact with each other. The quality of relationships depends on how people feel about their interactions and the distance between them.
Most social relationships can be divided into rewarding and punitive relationships. People's emotional experiences form a continuously distributed interval, which restricts the intimacy of interpersonal relationships.
If you meet each other's needs, you'll have a close relationship. If you don't, your relationship will suffer.
Interpersonal relationships are part of social relationships. They can be between friends, spouses, parents and children, teachers and students, or two people of the same sex. They are affected by production and political relationships. They affect other social relationships.
It affects how strong a group is and how good the environment is.
3. Jealousy and interpersonal relationships
You ask, "Jealousy makes people ugly, so it's bad for relationships, right?"
Good relationships are characterized by enthusiasm, sincerity, understanding, empathy, generosity, mutual assistance, trust, and flexibility. Factors that promote close relationships are reducing distance, increasing interaction, adding similar things, and complementing each other's needs.
Some personal traits that can harm relationships are disrespect, indifference, insincerity, lack of empathy, low self-esteem, jealousy, suspicion, intolerance, stubbornness, revenge, demandingness, and dependence on others.
Jealousy limits interpersonal relationships. Transform jealousy into envy, see the good, pursue it, have the right attitude, and act the right way. You will succeed and make others envious.
4. How to handle jealousy in relationships
Every emotion has a reason for existing. What is the reason for jealousy?
Jealousy helps maintain social fairness. You can face your own shortcomings, transform jealousy into envy, and change yourself through positive efforts.
Envy makes you get in touch with people who have similar values and good relationships with you. You accept good things and say positive things to avoid conflicts.
Jealousy will also make you take the initiative to improve yourself. Here's how:
1. Improve your morals.
2. Understand jealousy correctly.
Jealousy is bad for you and bad for others. It makes you think you're better than you are. You need others to succeed.
3. Think about yourself and others in a fair way.
When you feel jealous, you can change your thoughts and actions to control your motives. This requires you to think about yourself objectively to find problems.
No one is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. It's good to like and accept yourself, but you should also recognize the strengths of others. This can help you improve.
4. Reduce jealousy.
You can make up for unmet needs by developing new skills. This can also help you feel less jealous.
Jealousy is often distressing. Try to see things from the other person's perspective to avoid being jealous.
5. Distraction
When you realize that jealousy is bad, face it with a positive attitude, do things that help you, and distract yourself from negative emotions.
Make some close friends or find a family member you can talk to when you feel jealous. Talking can help you feel better and stop jealousy from getting worse.
Other ways to release and divert your attention include singing, dancing, calligraphy, and chess.
Comments
Jealousy often highlights our deepest desires and what we value, showing that it can be a signal for what matters to us in life.
While jealousy can distort appearances, it also reveals vulnerabilities, pushing us to understand ourselves better and grow from within.
Perhaps jealousy serves as a reminder of our human limitations, encouraging empathy by reminding us that everyone has insecurities.
Jealousy might exist to challenge us, forcing confrontations with personal fears and leading to stronger relationships through overcoming it.
It's true envy can harm connections, yet it could also motivate improvement, striving to achieve what we admire in others thus fostering personal development.