How to cope with the long-term unmet need for sharing when living in a distant place and having personality differences?

Good day. I will endeavor to respond to your inquiry. To that end, let us together examine the needs and confusion that reside within you.

Firstly, I note your expressed desire for communication and am encouraged to see that you are prepared to take action to try. Regardless of why you ceased communication, you are willing to keep trying to find people to communicate with, and when you encounter resistance, you will automatically switch to a new approach. I hear your expressed need to be heard, and I wonder if there is also a need to be understood, listened to, and paid attention to. This leads me to ask: why do you seem to choose strangers as your communication partners? Is there any special meaning behind this?

It is important to note that you may be in danger. Without further details, it is difficult to ascertain the nature of this danger.

Please describe the nature of this emotion and its relationship to your underlying concerns.

Is it because the experience of "addiction" makes you feel that you may be seen through by others and thus controlled, or is it because approaching it will lead to higher expectations for a simple consultation, despite your own rational mind telling you otherwise? These are merely hypotheses, not conclusions. I'm presenting a few ideas for your consideration and awareness.

In conclusion, love and companionship are fundamental human needs. If you recognize these needs and they are strong, there is no cause for concern. This is simply your authentic self, and there is nothing wrong with it. However, how you interact with others is a matter of managing your needs.

It is not realistic to expect that we will come into this world knowing everything. Past experiences may have given us hurtful, frustrating, or unpleasant experiences, which can lead to doubt about our abilities in this area. It is therefore important to allow time for reflection, engage in self-care activities, communicate with yourself, and work with a psychologist to sort out your thoughts and feelings. This process will enable you to move beyond the limitations of a dependent relationship and embrace a more positive self-image.

The objective of this article is to prompt reflection and facilitate introspection, enabling you to discern your own insights. The questions posed are merely hypotheses, not definitive answers. It is my belief that the most accurate response will emerge gradually. I extend my best wishes to you, my colleague from afar.

The issue of distance is not a concern.

It looks like it's a male patron. Let me tell you about my experience. When I was younger, whenever I faced a challenge, I would look around to see if there was anyone who could offer a helping hand, encouragement, and support, and help me overcome the obstacle.

As I grew up, though, I realized that kind of life was too passive. So I made a decision: I gave up looking for a spiritual pillar and chose to be a spiritual pillar for myself and others. I don't know why there is a sun in the sky—I just know that there is a sun in the sky, and I can also be another sun, illuminating every corner of people's hearts and melting every inch of ice in their hearts.

With this belief as my support, after a few years, I basically achieved this. Many of my friends around me, regardless of gender, age, or whether they are working or continuing their studies, come to me whenever they are down and tell me about their troubles.

I would always encourage them and give them some spiritual motivation. To my friends, I always repeat two things: "Believe in yourself. You are the best."

"There's no river in the world that can't be crossed. Never give up on life." I'm happiest when people tell me that whenever they encounter setbacks, they read the letters I've written to them and feel renewed confidence and strength.

I found a solution to the problem, and even gained some new abilities along the way. I also tried to help those in need around him, and gradually became another source of support. It can be said that everyone around me has been influenced to a greater or lesser extent. Everyone can be influenced, and can also influence others. It's just a matter of willpower.

In the end, the stronger will always win. Learning to be a pillar of support was another important lesson for me. It took a lot of time and effort, but it was worth it. This lesson has had an extremely important impact on my life, and I believe it can be beneficial for anyone.

We all benefit.

Find your place to shine, and all your minor concerns will disappear. Best of luck!

Greetings!

The landlord experiences internal conflict. On the one hand, he desires to be seen, responded to, and recognized, and he longs for deep communication and exchange with others.

Conversely, when the relationship reaches a certain depth, they experience a profound sense of unease.

Therefore, it can be concluded that the aforementioned cycle of entering into a relationship, becoming emotionally close to the other person, withdrawing, and then entering into a relationship again is repeated.

The need to be seen, responded to, and recognized is often a result of a lack of value and proper treatment within the original family structure.

In the absence of a sense of value, there is a corresponding need for it.

Given their history of mistreatment, they hope to be treated well.

As a result of this process, a profound sense of insecurity and familiarity is instilled.

As a result of past experiences, a sense of distrust emerges when one is valued and treated well, leading to the perception that the other person may have some kind of "conspiracy," or that one is about to be "swallowed" by the other person, or that one is not worthy of being treated in such a way.

One might inquire whether the "danger" that the host experienced during several in-depth relationship discussions was rooted in a fear of being controlled.

Or are you concerned that you may become overly invested in the relationship?

In a one-on-one relationship, the poster may have identified the other person with someone close in their lives, leading to the perception that they are interacting excessively and that this could be detrimental.

Furthermore, the experience of addiction is also perceived as intolerable in the context of group chats.

In other words, the individual may be reluctant to engage in a profound relationship and become overly reliant on it.

In theory, there should be no issue engaging in profound discourse with one's spouse.

However, your wife is from a different cultural context and possesses a markedly distinct personality, rendering it challenging to establish an intimate relationship.

One might inquire as to why the subject chose a wife with such a significant personality discrepancy and who resides at a considerable distance.

It is evident that a partner who is able to engage in discourse and provide support at any given moment is a necessity.

From this, can an issue be discerned?

It is possible that the wife in question represents a subconscious choice, a need that has arisen as a result of the conflict. She may be perceived as being in a different place and having a vastly different personality, which could be indicative of a deeper underlying issue.

If the aforementioned hypothesis is indeed valid, then it can be reasonably deduced that the conflicting needs are the root cause of the discomfort and suffering experienced in the relationship.

It is imperative to engage in authentic and profound spiritual discourse with an individual, yet due to past experiences that have instilled a sense of mistrust, you are hesitant to fully divulge yourself.

Despite taking 90 steps, one's guard remains up, and thus the final 10 steps are not taken, resulting in a retreat.

The crux of the issue is the need to relinquish defensive mechanisms and foster a sense of security within the context of an intimate relationship.

In the event that one is concerned about losing control of a relationship, it is advisable to seek the counsel of an individual who is capable of providing guidance and support.

For example, the counselor or psychologist that the individual is seeking out.

In other relationships, it is possible to establish one's own boundaries initially.

In a relationship with the opposite sex, if it is with one's wife, it is not necessary to demand that she share one's personality and respond enthusiastically. As long as one is sincere and she is able to listen, it is possible to enter into a safe and comfortable intimate relationship.

In the event that one is concerned that communicating with the opposite sex outside of one's wife may be "dangerous," it is advisable to establish a set of boundaries. These boundaries should include the types of topics that can be discussed, the extent of physical intimacy permitted, and the nature of the relationship. By establishing these boundaries, it is possible to maintain a certain level of communication.

In conclusion, it is essential to address the psychological needs that have been overlooked, unmet, or misunderstood since childhood, as well as the fear of intimacy. This conflict may necessitate professional psychological intervention.

The aforementioned information is located above.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I am a practicing psychologist. I encourage you to engage in self-reflection, self-recognition, and self-satisfaction.

Hello, host. I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

It is worth noting that long-distance relationships do require a significant investment of effort to maintain. This is because there is often a natural conflict between love and distance, and if we do not handle it well, there is a possibility that love may not be able to overcome the challenges posed by distance.

When two people are in different places and cannot be with each other, it is not uncommon to feel insecure, which can potentially lead to a crisis of trust. If the emotional and trust crises that arise cannot be resolved through timely and effective communication, the relationship may face challenges and, in some cases, it may end in a breakup.

It seems that distance can have a significant impact on relationships, particularly when it comes to intimacy, passion and commitment.

It is often the case that the most enduring and satisfying intimate relationships are those in which both partners are committed to maintaining intimacy and enhancing their sense of responsibility towards each other. However, it is worth noting that the sense of intimacy in long-distance relationships can be particularly vulnerable. While a hug can be a simple yet effective solution in some cases, it is not always easy to express emotions in the same way when you are apart. This can lead to misunderstandings and the accumulation of negative emotions. When coupled with the cumulative effect of different living environments and different social circles, it is understandable that the two people in a relationship may find themselves with less and less common ground over time. This can make it increasingly challenging to understand each other. Perhaps most concerning of all is that trust can be eroded.

It is understandable that two people who have been apart for a long time may face a number of challenges. These can include ambiguous messages, messages or phone calls that cannot be answered in time, group photos with other people of the opposite sex, and instances of dishonesty that may affect the trust between partners. It is therefore important to recognise that a lack of intimacy can be a significant factor in the breakdown of long-distance relationships, particularly when distance and time are a factor.

How might we overcome the uncertainties of being apart and maintain a harmonious and long-lasting relationship?

1. It would be beneficial to learn to communicate deeply and build a trust-based relationship.

It could be said that the most challenging aspect of living apart is communication. Many people tend to believe that communication primarily relies on language. However, in actual communication, the influence of verbal information is relatively limited, accounting for only about 7%, while tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language collectively account for a much larger proportion, around 93%.

It is therefore understandable that when two people live apart and communicate together, it is not always easy to fully understand each other's emotional state. Even if it is through video, it lacks the participation of touch and smell, which can make it challenging to fully grasp each other's feelings. It is therefore worth considering ways to improve the depth and efficiency of communication.

For long-distance communication, it may be helpful to: report daily, learn to share, and avoid conflict. Express your feelings and needs in a timely manner, share each other's lives, let the other person understand your living environment and dynamics, and enhance each other's sense of security.

2. It may be helpful to consider ways of reinforcing the sense of ritual that is often associated with a relationship. This can be beneficial in situations where there is a lack of physical proximity.

It may be helpful to consider ways of maintaining a sense of ritual to keep the love between the two alive. For couples living apart, it could be beneficial to explore ways of strengthening the sense of ritual to achieve a state of being better off apart than newlyweds.

It might be helpful to set some rules.

It might be helpful for you both to work together to set some rules for spending time together to ensure regular romantic interactions. For example, you could agree to say goodnight to each other every night, have regular video calls, talk about any conflicts you may have rather than bottling them up, and try not to let arguments last overnight.

Consider fostering a sense of romance in your relationship.

It might be helpful to express your thoughts and love for the other person, as this can make them feel cared for. You could also try surprising the other person, for example by writing a few lines of love poetry, recording an interesting voice message, or singing a love song. If you travel a lot, you might like to consider buying the other person a few carefully selected gifts when you next see each other, for example things that the other person has mentioned to you. This way, the other person will know that you are thinking of them at all times, and you might find that you can achieve the effect of being newlyweds again after a short separation.

3. Consider creating romantic expectations and harnessing the power of promises.

Among the three elements of love, commitment is a crucial factor. In a long-distance relationship, it serves as a significant driving force in overcoming the current difficulties. Without a sense of commitment to the future, it can be challenging for two individuals to cope with the emotional challenges of loneliness and longing. Therefore, when you are apart, it is beneficial to explore ways to increase the chances of seeing each other as much as possible. Before each separation, you can start to create expectations for the next time you meet, as specific as possible, and look forward to it together. For example, you might say, "We will meet in a month, and I will cook a big meal for you, so you can taste the loving cooking I have practiced for you."

If circumstances allow, it would be beneficial to try to resolve the issue of living apart and spend time together. This may be more conducive to the development of intimacy. If that's not possible, it would be helpful to make a commitment to your partner and consider how you can make up for it emotionally, so that your partner feels at ease. This can help maintain a relatively stable and harmonious intimate relationship.

Love is often simple and pure, but relationships do require some management. It would be beneficial for us to learn how to manage our intimate relationships and deal with many practical issues, so that we can reap the happiness from the relationship.

Wishing you the very best.

Good day, my name is Strawberry.

After reviewing your disclosures and concerns, you indicated that you particularly desire to be acknowledged, responded to, and recognized. However, after attempting to confide through various methods, you experienced an "addictive" sensation and ceased this behavior. This suggests that your primary objective is to be seen, responded to, and recognized by your wife. When you perceive a threat, you promptly terminate this conduct because you recognize that if you persist, you will be unable to control your actions and may engage in behaviors like transference.

The term "empathy" is used in the context of psychoanalysis. In this context, empathy refers to a strong emotional response that the client experiences towards the analyst. This is a key aspect of psychoanalysis, which is primarily based on hypnotherapy and free association.

It is a process in which the visitor transfers a significant amount of past emotional baggage related to certain important individuals in their lives to the counselor.

From the description, it is evident that the questioner would prefer the listener to be his wife. However, the significant differences in personalities, coupled with the long-distance communication challenges, have made it difficult for you to communicate effectively, which has also had a notable impact on your relationship.

Please advise on how I can improve my situation and reduce my suffering.

First, modify the current mode of operation.

The questioner is seeking to address the relationship with his wife. It is possible that your perception of the relationship differs from reality. You may have intentions to alter the relationship, but you appear to be constrained in your ability to do so. You are unable to persuade your wife, which is why you are keen to be seen and recognized.

The questioner did not mention why you and your wife are in different places. However, I believe that since the questioner is interested in improving the intimacy between you and your wife, it is essential to address the issue of being in different places first. Your desire to find someone else to talk to indicates that you are seeking a solution to the problem of being in different places. The most effective approach to resolving this issue is for the questioner to spend more time with his wife. By increasing the level of contact and interaction between you, the likelihood of a change in your mode of communication will increase.

2. Couples learning together

The lack of information in the text makes it difficult to ascertain the nature of the problem between the questioner and his wife. If the problem remains unresolved, it will likely lead to a period of boredom, during which each party may begin to perceive the other's shortcomings more acutely.

Through direct communication and repeated candid discussions, your wife will see that you are genuinely interested in collaborating with her to maintain a healthy marriage. As the saying goes, "Two-way love is happiness." Only when two people are aligned can they find the motivation to address current challenges.

It would be beneficial for you to persuade your wife to learn the correct way to interact with her and communicate with her. You can also educate yourself first, and then demonstrate the changes in you in your daily life, gradually influencing her to think deeply about the issues in your relationship. If necessary, you and your wife can also attend couples counseling together, so that a professional can guide you to identify the issues in each other and provide professional advice.

3. Accept each other's recognition of intimacy.

From the text, it is evident that there is a discrepancy in the level of intimacy pursued by the questioner and his wife. This discrepancy can be attributed to the influence of their respective upbringing and the individuals they have interacted with. It is not feasible to expect a uniformity of opinion on this matter, nor is it possible to compel someone to adopt a perspective that differs from our own. Therefore, it is essential to recognise the intrinsic value of individuality and the diversity of perspectives that exist.

It is important to understand your wife's level of intimacy through spending time together. A husband and wife can influence each other's behavior through spending more time together. Therefore, if you want to be the one with more influence, it is necessary to build up your self-confidence and assertiveness.

Your wife may be accustomed to operating independently and forming her own opinions when making decisions. Even the most resilient woman desires a reliable source of support and opportunities to embrace her inner child. When the questioner possesses his own perspectives and is able to contribute to his wife's responsibilities, she is able to dedicate more time to you.

I hope this information is useful to the questioner. Best regards,

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inquire about a matter that has come to my attention. Please let me know if this is not the appropriate channel for such inquiries. Best regards,

I have carefully read your question and the replies, and I empathize with your urgent need to resolve this dilemma.

You have indicated that your need for companionship has been unmet for an extended period. I am unaware of the duration of this situation. I have a related question: Was your need for companionship met prior to your marriage?

Please clarify whether your need to talk is solely due to a lack of fulfillment elsewhere. Additionally, were there instances when you sought communication as a child?

From the aforementioned words:

I would like to be seen, responded to, and recognized.

Please advise on how to achieve a greater level of comfort without experiencing undue distress.

After attempting to address this issue, I have determined that it is unlikely that I can replace one need with something else. From my perspective, a need is a need, and it seems that it is not easily converted.

The following needs have been addressed:

It is evident that your primary objective at this juncture is to be seen, responded to, and recognized by your wife. It is clear that this need cannot be replaced by anything else. The most effective way to achieve a sense of comfort and reduce your suffering is to:

Furthermore, it is evident that you have already implemented the following strategies:

Initially, we engaged in detailed discussions offline. However, upon recognizing the potential risks, we ceased this practice.

I initially believed that online communication would be more suitable for my needs. However, after engaging in an in-depth online conversation for an extended period, I recognized the potential risks and ceased this practice.

I did not perceive a shortage of potential listening partners. However, I initiated a paid chat with a listening partner, but ultimately decided to cease this activity due to perceived risks.

I believe that group chats have their place, but I also felt that I had become overly reliant on them, so I decided to cease using them.

My current focus is on enhancing the intimacy with my wife.

I must say that I am impressed by your grasp of the three dangers, the three stops, addiction, and the exit. You are a perceptive individual with a high level of respect. It is uncommon to find such a comprehensive understanding of these concepts, and I must commend you on your insight.

Whether you are concerned about becoming emotionally entangled in relationships that cross boundaries or being controlled by others in a certain lifestyle, you have the ability to stop in time and prevent further damage. This demonstrates your sensitivity and high level of rationality. In my opinion, you have the potential to excel in all aspects of life. With such a strong ability, and if you can actively think of ways to achieve your goals, there is no reason to worry about not reaching them.

I will now proceed to share my views based on my own experience and limited knowledge.

First, take a good look at the environment we are in now, which can also be said to be the starting point for making yourself comfortable. From your words, it is evident that you have tried numerous approaches and have decided to enhance the intimacy with your wife. This method is not inherently dangerous, but it is challenging. I must commend you again, as after navigating numerous twists and turns, you have finally returned to the core issue. Our objective is to elicit a response from your wife, to demonstrate and validate that you have achieved your goal of expressing your emotions. This method is viable, and your chosen direction is appropriate.

Secondly, the feasibility of the chosen method is contingent upon its complexity. The aforementioned factors include geographical distance, the lack of plans to address the psychological aspects of the long-distance relationship, personality differences, and the wife's demanding schedule. While the challenge is significant, we have attempted relatively straightforward methods that proved ineffective. Consequently, we have resorted to this approach. Despite the difficulties, we must persevere.

We address challenges directly. I am confident you will do the same. However, I have a concern. I have another suggestion. Do you think it makes sense?

This is how we perceive comfort, freedom from suffering, and the joy of reaching the end of a confession. You may be familiar with the following saying: "The flower is not fully bloomed, the moon is not full. That is the most beautiful time." There is also this saying: "Defeat is followed by the next second, which is entering hell." This is a theory proposed by the renowned psychologist Carl Jung. Another saying is, "The future is bright, but the road is winding." This implies that the most beautiful time is in the process of pursuing. To put it in a common way, the scenery is on the road, so try hard to see if you can treat the pursuit of intimacy with your wife as a journey to see the beauty along the way, rather than rushing to the end goal of making your wife see, recognize, and respond.

As a next step, I suggest that you consider modifying the way you communicate with your wife. The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius is credited with saying, "If you want others to do something, you must first do it yourself." It is important to recognize that your wife's primary need is to be seen, recognized, and responded to by you. When you communicate with your wife in the future, will you first suppress your own needs and instead see, recognize, and respond to your wife? Additionally, you mentioned that your wife is very busy, and I am unsure if you have children. If you have children, you may be away from home, which could give your wife the impression that she is raising children alone.

If that is the case, I believe that acknowledging and responding to your wife's needs may help you to meet your own.

I recommend that you consult with a professional counselor. This will allow you to provide more detailed information, and the counselor can offer more targeted and effective advice. It is important to understand the distinction between a counselor and a listener.

I hope these suggestions are helpful in responding to your question. I encourage you to persevere in seeking a way to enhance intimacy with your wife that suits you both. This will allow you to satisfy your need to confide in someone and enjoy the beauty of the blossoms yet to fully bloom and the moon yet to be full. Best regards.

Hello, question asker.

From your question, I get the sense that you're a little afraid of having an intimate relationship with your loved one. You feel lonely, and you've experienced the dangers of chatting offline, chatting online, and chatting in groups. Is it possible that you've developed a sense of dependence on them? Please forgive me if I'm wrong.

Psychologists say that the key to living is to build relationships and find meaning in them. We all want to feel heard and validated, because it's the only way we can believe we're right.

When you're close to someone you love, or falling in love with someone new, it really brings this sense of mutual recognition to the extreme.

Your problem isn't unique to you. I think many people have this problem, but they're too busy with their lives to think about it. Speaking for myself, my partner and I have similar personalities, but our relationship also seems to fall short of your expectations for intimacy.

My husband leaves early in the morning and returns late in the evening. He's already gone to work when I wake up, and he comes home around 8pm. He checks his phone while I stay with the kids and help them with their homework and get ready for bed. I'm busy with my own things until 10pm, and then I want to relax by checking my phone for a while. It's quickly 11pm, and we probably won't even say a word to each other for the whole day. We're so familiar with each other that we don't even say goodnight, and the day ends like this. I also look forward to intimacy, and I hope that he will ask me how his kids are doing, if they're doing well, if his work is going smoothly, how dinner was, and how he's feeling.

He's got a lot on his plate right now and isn't in the mood to take care of me.

I think everyone is lonely and wants to avoid the storm and find shelter. That's it. Everyone is busy taking care of themselves. No one is obliged to take care of your mood, unless they have other motives. I came to terms with it later. I want to make myself strong inside. I shelter myself from the wind and rain. I don't need others' approval to do things. I do what I think is right. I do it, of course, on the premise that it doesn't affect others. I take courage and take responsibility. There is no path in the world. I just consider myself the pathfinder.

It's great to have your own thoughts and confidence, and not worry about what others think. If you want to build intimacy with your wife, take the initiative to contact her, show you care, get involved in her life, visit her, and send more texts and calls.

If she rejects you when you take the initiative, it will be really tough. We can only change our attitude towards others, but it is difficult to change others' attitude towards us. You can't wake someone up who is pretending to sleep.

How can you make yourself more comfortable? Don't expect too much from others or try to arrange for them to do things. Instead, think about what you want and go for it. We all learn to live life by copying others. It's hard to figure out what makes you happy. Do everything in front of you well, work hard, live well, exercise more, and take care of your appearance. Life is about having a good body, and then you can take care of the rest: clothes, food, housing, and entertainment. Eat well, drink well, and take care of your image. Live a decent life. That's all there is to it.

I hope you can find happiness in taking care of yourself and being yourself.

From your questions and your description, it appears that you are particularly clear about your desires and are also acutely aware of your personal boundaries. You demonstrate an ability to halt your own actions when necessary. This indicates that you have well-defined objectives, clear boundaries, and a sense of control over your actions.

As an illustration, you referenced in your text that

In particular, the desire to be seen, responded to, and recognized.

You become aware of the potential danger and choose to cease the action.

Once more, you ceased your actions.

Or, alternatively, one might posit that the individual still experiences a sense of danger and thus chooses to cease the activity in question.

Additionally, the subject reported feelings of addiction and subsequent cessation of the behavior in question.

Subsequently, we will methodically deconstruct your textual expression, focusing on the three keywords [need, deep chat, and danger], in order to assist you in organizing your thoughts.

1. A systematic analysis of the emotional needs and the means of articulating them.

In particular, the subject expressed a desire to be seen, responded to, and recognized.

[Being seen] – In essence, when we express the desire to be seen, we are not seeking to be observed while engaging in a particular action, but rather to be seen in a state of emotional and inner need.

In an intimate relationship, the reason why one party is not perceived is often because the other party is only listening to the verbal content of the interaction and engaging in discussion about the topic at hand, but neglecting to consider the emotional context and the emotional needs of the other person.

This kind of interaction is not particularly demanding of a partner and is also a common occurrence in most marital relationships.

There are numerous potential explanations, including the extent to which the problem-solving model acquired in the other person's family of origin is being replicated in the current intimate relationship. Additionally, it is important to ascertain whether the other person is adept at articulating their emotions and inner needs.

One must also consider whether the other party is capable of understanding the emotions and needs expressed by the individual in question. It is also important to determine whether the other party is genuinely uninterested or if they are deliberately avoiding the issue.

Such responses are contingent upon the specific circumstances and factors involved.

In order to express one's emotions and emotional needs in an intimate relationship, it is possible to attempt to communicate with the other person directly, stating, "Something has happened between us, and I would like to discuss it with you, but it is not about the event itself; it is about my emotions and needs. Therefore, I would like us to set aside our views on the event for a while, and allow me to share my emotions and feelings with you."

The phrase "there are huge differences in character" in fact conceals a multitude of subtle nuances in the underlying causes.

[Responded] indicates whether the other person has provided feedback and, moreover, at what pace.

Indeed, it has an effect on one's emotional state.

Similarly, a lack of response may be indicative of a shift in the other person's interest or a lack of availability to respond in a timely manner.

Alternatively, are you dissatisfied because the other person has not grasped your central argument? Or is the other person evading the crucial issues and engaging in other topics?

It is important to note that different situations require different responses.

[Being recognized] – this may reflect a lack of confidence in oneself, a need for affirmation or recognition from others, or it may express one's hope that the other person can see one's affirmation and efforts. The other person's feedback will provide a sense of worth, while being unrecognized will result in a strong sense of frustration and worthlessness. It may also be interpreted in other ways, so one can look within oneself to ascertain one's true feelings.

The communication and expression of these emotional feelings can be conveyed through the aforementioned direct and clear expressions.

2. Could you please clarify what is meant by the term "excessive"?

As you mentioned at the conclusion of our discussion,

In what ways might the transition be made more comfortable, so that it is not so challenging?

What is meant by "this transition"? Does it signify that being in a different location represents a period of transition?

The information provided in the text is insufficient to fully comprehend the situation; however, this crucial piece of information is essential to understanding the context.

Upon reading this sentence, one might easily associate it with the following situation: the couple has encountered a situation and is unsure of how to explain it clearly. The individual in question actually requires the opportunity to engage in a deep conversation with their wife. However, due to personality differences and the fact that communicating from a distance is not as convenient as being together, progress has been slow.

Furthermore, your efforts to enhance the intimacy with your wife have not yielded the desired results, leading to feelings of disappointment and distress.

It is therefore apparent that you are seeking assistance in analysing the most effective means of enhancing communication with your wife and resolving the issues that have arisen between you. However, it is unclear whether this is an accurate representation of the situation.

You are endeavoring to enhance your intimacy with your wife, with the expectation that she will discern and acknowledge this effort.

It may be beneficial to inquire of your wife whether she has perceived any alterations in the quality of the relationship. Despite your efforts to enhance intimacy, she may not have discerned the changes.

At times, I am uncertain about my feelings, which presents a significant challenge. Consequently, I would appreciate the opportunity to engage in further dialogue when time allows. It is my hope that you will be able to discern my efforts, and I value your feedback.

In light of these considerations, it seems reasonable to conclude that the topics of deep conversations with others, whether offline, online, or with a therapist, are all related to the intimacy between you and your wife.

This leads to the question of whether this action can be interpreted as an attempt to "deeply discuss" through different channels in order to practice one's own expression and communication methods. It also raises the issue of whether this is an example of preparing the groundwork and setting the stage for a deep discussion with one's wife.

3. You referenced the concept of "dangerous" on three occasions and ceased your actions, and on one occasion, you alluded to the sensation of addiction. Could you elaborate on the specific connotations of the term "dangerous"?

In addition, this is supported by what you subsequently stated.

The primary objective is to enhance the level of intimacy with his wife.

How do you perceive this potential danger?

The potential risks associated with engaging in deep conversations offline may stem from the sense of being understood, seen, responded to, and recognized when one confides in others.

Thus, one may posit that there is an emotional inclination towards the listener. Furthermore, it can be hypothesized that deep conversations with other individuals, as opposed to one's partner, may serve to exacerbate the existing differences or cracks in one's intimacy with one's wife.

The potential risks associated with engaging in deep online chats can be understood as follows: these conversations may evoke underlying concerns and anxieties that individuals may be hesitant to confront. This could lead to a reluctance to continue the conversation and a lack of clarity on how to address these issues.

The potential risks associated with engaging in deep conversations with a listener can be understood as follows: the experience of being seen, understood, and recognized may foster an addictive dependency on such communication. Concerns arise that if this pattern persists, it may impede the ability to engage in meaningful, intimate communication with one's partner, potentially leading to further deterioration in the quality of the relationship. Consequently, I chose to cease this behavior.

Moreover, all three types of in-depth discourse evoke an addictive sensation.

This addictive sensation is, in fact, the sensation of having one's needs met.

Thus, on the one hand, there is the perception of being unable to fulfill one's wife's self-needs, and on the other hand, there is the experience of pleasure when one's own needs are met. This creates a desire to engage in deep conversations with others to obtain emotional gratification when one's wife's self-needs remain unmet.

4. What is the precise nature of the discrepancy in personality? Is the divergence in personality truly a profound rift in communication or a mutual lack of emotional fulfillment?

Your ability to discern potential dangers and act accordingly demonstrates caution and restraint. Furthermore, your inclination to proactively identify solutions to challenges suggests a proclivity for optimism and initiative.

The most significant challenge arises from the fact that the two individuals are situated in disparate locations and possess distinct personalities. To what extent do these factors contribute to the problem?

These factors are not addressed in the text.

The act of being in different locations has the potential to impact the timeliness of communication and the transmission of emotions during communication and interaction. When emotions are encountered in each other, the ability to provide direct comfort through body movements is limited in comparison to when communication is face-to-face. This is an area where communication in different locations has the greatest impact on the intimacy of communication.

Even when separated, it is possible to respond to each other with words that express one's true feelings. While the power of words may not be as tactile as physical actions, they can nevertheless touch each other's hearts.

For example, one might express it thus: "I recognize that it is challenging for you to be apart from me. Despite my desire for you to comprehend me, perceive me, and concur with me, I may not have been as capable of doing so for you as I would have liked."

Despite the imperfections in our relationship and the lack of an optimal approach, I am committed to enhancing our bond. While this may not entirely address the discomfort associated with physical separation, it can provide insight into my depth of affection.

For your reference, the principle of expression is mutual understanding. Initially, it is recommended to endeavor to comprehend and empathize with the other individual. Subsequently, the other individual will be more inclined to attempt to comprehend and empathize with us. Additionally, honesty and attitude can significantly enhance an intimate relationship.

The question then arises as to how to deal with personality differences.

Could you please clarify what you mean by "a huge personality difference"?

Given your positive, optimistic, proactive, and communicative disposition, along with your emotional sensitivity, capacity for restraint, and awareness,

In the event of significant discrepancies, can the personality of your wife be discerned from this information?

She exhibits a more coarse characterization, displaying a tendency toward directness and assertiveness in her verbal expressions. Additionally, she may not demonstrate the same degree of emotional sensitivity as others.

Is it always your preference to resolve issues without contemplating the emotional implications?

If one can ascertain the character traits of one's spouse, it is akin to exploring the unknown in a given situation based on the known conditions of the other party when solving problems.

It is accurate to conclude that personality differences can give rise to discrepancies in behavior, thought processes, and value systems between partners. However, it is not inevitable that differences in values between partners will result in arguments or conflicts.

It is, in fact, a misrepresentation of the truth to suggest that differences in opinion inevitably lead to arguments or conflicts. A more accurate expression may be that the reason for such disagreements is that we have different ideas, but we definitely want to convince the other person to agree with our ideas.

If we can endeavor to affirm or comprehend the aspects of the other person's viewpoint with which we concur, while also articulating the elements of our divergence, it is our hope that the other person will alter their stance and engage in reflection and personal experience.

In lieu of attempting to persuade the other party, it is possible to gain first-hand experience of the differences in question. This approach is likely to result in a reduction in the likelihood of arguments, and instead may facilitate mutual understanding and trust.

It is therefore relatively straightforward to communicate about personality differences or to express needs. Initially, it is important to be curious about the other person's mode and channel of communication. This allows for the subsequent adjustment to each other's channel, which in turn facilitates a kind of resonance.

This process may still be somewhat arduous, but as the adage suggests, if partners seek to enhance their mutual understanding and improve their intimacy, the most straightforward and direct approach is to embrace each other's differences with curiosity.

The resolution of problems in intimate relationships is best achieved within the context of that relationship.

Such profound discourse does not inherently pose a threat to the relationship; rather, it fortifies the foundation of intimacy.

My name is Bo, sir.

From the message, it is evident that the questioner is experiencing some difficulty expressing emotional experiences in a confiding manner.

The term "dangerous" is a recurring theme in the text, and the method of confiding has been replaced by a variety of forms, including offline and online one-on-one conversations, as well as sessions with a therapist.

From the aforementioned "danger" to the "addiction" mentioned later after the group chat, it can be vaguely inferred that the "danger" refers to an overreliance on the form. I'm not sure if I can understand it this way: such a reliance makes the questioner feel panicked, afraid that this form will ultimately not really improve the intimacy with his wife, so he chooses to change it again and again, but is unable to identify more suitable forms.

If the primary objective is to enhance intimacy with your wife, then seeking counsel from others is a provisional measure. It also demonstrates the significant effort the questioner has made to improve the relationship.

Have you had the opportunity to discuss with your wife your need to express frustration?

I'm not aware of the details.

I am curious as to what considerations have prevented you from communicating this to your wife, given your strong desire to talk.

Significant personality differences and the geographical distance between the two parties result in a slow pace of progress.

This description illustrates the challenges currently faced by the questioner and his wife. Given your desire to enhance intimacy, it is evident that you value and look forward to this relationship.

Facing challenges head-on, particularly by seeking your wife's input, can facilitate a deeper mutual understanding, ultimately strengthening your relationship.

2. Should the aforementioned conditions be met,

2. If there is

The fact that expectations have not been met indicates that this is an area where communication with your wife can facilitate mutual understanding. There are mainly the following possibilities in this area:

The geographical distance between the two parties involved in the relationship increases the cost of communication, which makes it more challenging to manage the relationship effectively.

The two individuals have very different personalities, which makes it more challenging for each of them to understand the other's intentions during the process of getting to know each other. This can lead to a subjective feeling that their need to talk things out cannot be met.

If you wish to enhance your sense of intimacy with your partner, you may wish to consider implementing some behavioural techniques. Regular contact and a smooth adjustment process can facilitate compatibility on an emotional level.

If you wish to enhance your sense of intimacy with your partner and reduce your suffering, you may wish to consider some behavioural techniques to strengthen your relationship. As you spend more time together and the adjustment period progresses, you will have an opportunity to become more compatible on a deeper level. Even if there are still some distance-related challenges, there is a chance that you can achieve a harmonious relationship and meet your need to talk. The following technical operations are for your reference:

1. Establish regular contact with each other.

Even when you are in different locations and both have demanding schedules, you can still set aside time for each other. For instance, you could allocate 30 minutes to an hour each night before bed to discuss your day and share your feelings.

2. Initially, simply share information without providing commentary.

2. Initially, please limit your contributions to sharing information; refrain from commenting.

To avoid unnecessary conflict, initially limit comments to events and moods. As mutual understanding grows, you may wish to consider more in-depth communication.

In this context, I am not exploring human nature, but rather offering my services as a caring psychologist who is concerned with the emotional well-being of my clients. I wish you well.

In this capacity, I am not exploring human nature, but rather offering my expertise as a therapist who cares about the human heart. I wish you well.

When we sense danger, we may choose to end the situation. For instance, if we're hooked on group chats or have high expectations and become overly dependent on one-on-one confessions, we crave being heard and satisfied by others, but this kind of satisfaction isn't always easy to find.

You and your partner are at different stages now, and you may face some challenges and tough choices along the way in managing a long-distance relationship. You also have some personality differences, which can make communication a bit tricky. Try to avoid texting when you can speak, and try to avoid calling when you can speak in person.

Sometimes too much information on the internet can make people feel uncomfortable, so maintaining long-distance relationships is even more complicated. It's important to have face-to-face communication so that both parties can resolve their inner conflicts and both parties can realize the care of the other.

You also have your own need to talk, but it hasn't been met for a while, maybe because your partner is not around. And your friends are not around either. If this is the case, you can also go and see if you can be your own company. We have gained the understanding of others, and this is a good memory.

You can treasure it because understanding is not easy. You've also experienced in-depth offline chats, finding a listener, and group chats. You've experienced a lot and can also find some problems from it, so you've corrected them in time. We'll ultimately need to learn to take care of ourselves.

It's important to be able to take care of yourself, even if you're in a relationship. It's not easy to change, especially when you have different personalities and live far apart. But you can find ways to connect and make it work. Talking to a counselor can help you figure out how to bridge the gaps and find common ground.

ZQ?