How to forget a first love? Every time I fall in love, I think of her.

Questioner: Hello!

When we fall in love for the first time, we experience all kinds of firsts that represent our growth—and it's an amazing journey!

Let me give you a simple example. Imagine you are in a completely dark room with three lights of exactly the same power and brightness.

If I were to turn on the first light bulb at this point, you would definitely think that this light bulb is incredibly bright. Then I turn on the next two lights. Even though they contribute the same amount of brightness to the room as the first light bulb, the first light bulb seems to have a halo around it, and it seems to be better than the other two—it's absolutely amazing!

And the same goes for first love! That's why it's so hard to forget.

There's an amazing cognitive psychology phenomenon called the "white bear effect." Let's say you really want to forget a white bear you saw. You tell yourself:

"Forget this white bear, forget this white bear, never think of that white bear again..."

And the result is that the more you chant this mantra, the more you will remember the white bear!

In other words, the more you emphasize not thinking about something, the more likely it is that you will think about it—and you'll be amazed at what you think of!

Let's take a moment to think about all the amazing things our first love relationship has brought us! What did we do during the course of the relationship?

How did you feel at the time?

Since you're reminiscing, you might as well make the most of it! Think about the answers to these questions and outline what kind of you and what kind of TA you are in a relationship.

And don't forget to think about it seriously when you reminisce about your first love!

How did you work together to create such beauty in that time? What was so beautiful about the result?

Think about these two points and you'll understand so much more about what you want in a relationship, what you can do, and what the other person can do for you!

I am going to tell you something.

First of all, no one can truly treat their first love like a stranger or completely forget about it. Unless he or she did something really bad to you, which I don't think we can truly forget even then.

Second, instead of being unable to forget, you should often reminisce. If it is a long time ago and the relationship was particularly close, it is unforgettable, especially the first love.

You can and should take the time to reflect on the lessons learned from both the failures and the happy experiences in your last relationship. Be honest with yourself about what went wrong and what you could have done better. This will help you to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Third, if you say you can't forget, there's another possibility: time hasn't passed long enough. Time is the best medicine for healing wounds. As you grow older and gain more experience, you'll meet better people or worse things. You'll slowly forget the pain you once felt, leaving only better memories.

You should just let time take its course.

If you really can't forget, and you're still in the same city, you should go for it and get her back.

I wish you the best.

I am looking forward to maintaining communication with you on this personal public account: Pretentious young people (ID: qingnianJIA2020).

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