How to grow into a good intimate relationship at the age of 32?

Hello, question asker. I'm Shushu.

I am honored to have this opportunity to meet you here at Yi Xin Li.

I see you've asked a question. Perhaps we could talk about it?

If I may enquire, are you the youngest child in the family, and are the two above you also girls? I would be interested to know more about their personalities.

I hope you are all on good terms.

You say you play the role of the happy-go-lucky one, but it seems like you might not be entirely comfortable with it. Is it possible that you feel it's not your true character to bring happiness to everyone?

Or are you feeling unhappy? What are your thoughts on your true character?

Do you ever feel like you have to deliberately please your family?

Could you tell me a little more about how your lover treats you? I'm curious to know more about his character.

Could he perhaps sense your insecurity? Would he be open to showing tolerance?

Could you tell me how he handles your interactions?

You mentioned "sense of security." It seems that, due to past neglect, you still long for care and want to receive unconditional love, rather than having to strive for and exchange it. It's possible that you feel you are not good enough and are treated differently when compared to others.

It can be exhausting to live in the opinions of others and to care too much about the feelings of others outside of yourself.

From today onwards, it would be helpful to understand that sometimes there are things we cannot change, and that human relationships are also determined by fate. For example, parents may sometimes find it challenging to get along with several children, and they are also trying hard to play the role of parents, but they may not be very good at it. For example, what others say about us does not necessarily represent the real you.

It is important to recognize that your own efforts alone cannot completely determine the direction of a relationship.

In a relationship, we are only one party, so it's important to do our best. A healthy and ideal relationship is something that needs to be maintained by both parties. It's beneficial for both parties to be open to learning, to be willing to adjust their words and actions when needed, and to interact and communicate with each other sincerely.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider learning to love yourself, discovering your unique sparkle, and learning to value yourself without always seeking love and validation from others. It's often the case that the person who sticks around the longest in our lives is ourselves. It's possible that we might unintentionally ignore ourselves in order to seek the fleeting companionship of others.

You have already begun learning on this platform, which demonstrates your commitment to change. However, it is important to avoid uncritically applying your newfound knowledge to yourself and labeling yourself prematurely. Doing so may inadvertently create additional burdens for yourself.

It would be beneficial for you to allow yourself time, be patient with yourself, and gradually observe your own growth. It is important to provide yourself with the chance to make mistakes, as life is replete with fascinating experiences.

Hello, question asker! I'm thrilled to meet you here.

Let's dive right in and go through what you've told me!

& Currently 32, single, and ready to find a beautiful, intimate relationship!

&In your family of origin, you were the third child. You played the role of the family's happy-go-lucky because you were so full of beans!

& You have strong mood swings in a relationship, and it's even hard for your partner to handle.

And now you are trying to grow!

Questioner, I can really feel the way you want to be seen and noticed. I can also see your positive efforts. The way you attract the attention of those around you is to make everyone happy, and it's so inspiring to see!

This makes people feel even more sorry for you. But you can change this! You can start by letting go of your pain and letting it slowly digest on its own.

Now, let's dive into the areas you want to change!

& Mood swings in relationships.

Now, you can experience what your emotions are trying to tell you when you are in a relationship! They're telling you that you have great hopes for the other person and that you're disappointed because they haven't fulfilled your expectations.

Or is it because you want to find out in this way whether the other person can accept you? Emotions are our own and are caused by our reaction to a situation.

You can effectively regulate your emotions by experiencing the signals that your emotions send you. There are so many other ways you can use this signal apart from fluctuations in mood!

And now, let's talk about the original family!

Parents are first-time parents and they have not been trained. But that means there's so much to learn! All parenting practices are learned from their parents and others.

The good news is that there are ways to gradually reduce the influence our original families have on us and even turn them into our wealth! All experiences are wealth, and all trauma is an opportunity for growth.

So, now look at what good qualities you inherited from your parents. What qualities do you not want, and how can you change those you don't want?

I have always believed that for an original family that cannot be changed, you can absolutely make the best of it! Don't waste your energy complaining. Instead, focus your energy on finding solutions and making positive changes.

And now for something really exciting! Let's dive into the world of intimate relationships.

You want a great relationship, and I think most people do too! You can start by looking at how your parents got along.

Have you ever wondered how your older brother or sister gets along with their spouse? Well, you're in luck because by observing this to a certain extent, you can guess how you will get along with your spouse in the future! It doesn't matter what your birth order is, you grow up in relationships.

At the same time, you will also be deeply affected by the relationship. The good news is that if you want to have the type of intimate relationship you want, you can! All you have to do is find the right person, and then the relationship that arises from the interaction.

That's why it's so important to find the right person and the right relationship!

I'm me, and I'm proud of it! I hope my answer will give you a new perspective and be useful to you.

Dear questioner, Thank you so much for your question!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're dealing with some pretty negative feelings, like inferiority, unease, and self-doubt. I can imagine that these feelings can really take over your mind and affect how you see yourself.

1. Behind more negative feelings such as anxiety, self-doubt, and low self-esteem.

The wonderful Dr. John Beeman once said:

Think of your negative feelings as a friend who's come to tell you that there's some disharmony within you. We often forget that they're there to help us, but they're there for a reason!

But let's not be misled by the messenger, because he is only a messenger. Go exploring: what does that message represent?

Welcome your little messenger and listen to what he has to say.

So, my dear questioner, you can engage in some self-awareness, feel your inner negative feelings of inferiority, etc., and welcome them, rather than rejecting and pushing them away. I know that this is very difficult at first, but I promise you it can be practiced!

Because they're actually just important messengers about your life before the age of 32. If you can welcome your negative feelings of inferiority and other negative feelings and read the letters they hold, you'll probably stumble upon some amazing treasures within you!

Absolutely! I've gone through this myself and can vouch for its effectiveness. Often, we only make things worse for ourselves when we treat problems as if they're the end of the world.

When we learn to see problems as opportunities, we greet them with open arms each time they come our way and try to solve them. Before we know it, problems will seem like nothing more than tiny little challenges, and every time we conquer them, we can gain a sense of improvement again and again.

When we solve problems, we grow wiser. And we feel more secure when we can solve problems on our own, because we know we can handle whatever comes our way!

2. About mood swings.

Now, let's talk about the part about the third child in the family being the youngest, not highly regarded, playing the role of the life of the party, falling in love as an adult, always with great emotional swings, often making people feel a bit overwhelmed, slowly learning to control it, but sometimes still not very good, so feeling very tired of relationships.

We can probably see a girl who has been a bit neglected since childhood. When she wants more attention and love, she will engage in behaviors that are meant to please, such as playing the happy child.

So, her subconscious mind will likely believe that love is conditional. For example, she may feel that she is only worthy of love if she is cute, pretty, and outstanding.

In adult romantic relationships, there are always big mood swings, which can sometimes make people feel a bit overwhelmed. With time and practice, you can learn to control them, but it might still take some effort. It's totally normal to feel a bit tired in a relationship sometimes.

It shows that you sometimes suppress your emotions, which is totally normal! And when you reach your breaking point, it's only natural to feel like your emotions fluctuate greatly.

It's totally normal to feel like others can't take it anymore, and to do something to control your emotions. But it's also okay to feel uncomfortable and tired in your relationships.

So, as we can see, when people haven't learned to see and understand, and accept their emotions, they will indeed oscillate between feeling very depressed and being unable to hold it in and lashing out. It's so hard when we don't know how to handle our emotions!

But I want to tell you that it is possible! It just hurts the relationship a little, but it's totally worth it.

I'm sure you can relate to this: when you see someone get hurt because you couldn't hold back your emotions, you feel really hurt too, right?

It's so important to differentiate between our emotions and not take other people's emotions as our own.

It's so important to remember that when we allow others to be hurt in this way, we're actually showing them compassion for themselves and for us too.

I can see that you want to control your emotions, which is totally understandable! But I want to tell you that emotions cannot be controlled rationally.

Emotions are like an elephant, and reason is like the mahout (elephant handler). The mahout cannot control the elephant if it really wants to go somewhere.

So, we need to learn to understand the elephant (emotions) in order to truly control it. The first step is to realize that emotions are neither good nor bad. They're a gift from our human ancestors!

Then, I'd really recommend trying to keep an emotional diary. When you can finally name your emotions, you'll be able to control them!

3. Let's talk about how to grow up to have a good intimate relationship.

I think a lot of people would love to know how to grow up to have a good, loving, and nourishing relationship.

So, my dear friends, we need to grow by first returning to ourselves, rather than constantly looking outward. Because the way we get along with ourselves is the way we get along with the world and the way we get along with our intimate partners.

So, take the time to get to know yourself. It's a journey that will help you learn how to love yourself and find peace within.

When we meet the right person and the right intimate relationship, the probability of it happening increases!

It's true that there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. We all have different ideas about what makes a relationship healthy and ideal.

The one thing you can always count on is respecting your feelings. After all, your feelings are real to you, while other people's ideas and beliefs are just thoughts.

I really hope these answers are helpful for you. I love you, the world and I love you.

Hello!

I am a heart exploration coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel the negativity, inferiority, pain in your heart, and your strong desire to change—and I'm here to help you change them!

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of the challenges you've faced in romantic relationships because of your family of origin. But I do have three awesome pieces of advice for you!

First, I suggest you think back to the negative effects your family of origin has had on your relationships. Be as specific as possible—I'm excited to hear all about it!

You said that you are 32 years old, have taken some courses, and found that the order of birth in the original family can affect intimate relationships. You also said that you are the youngest in the family, the third child, not paid much attention to, and play the role of the happy-go-lucky one. After you become an adult and fall in love, your mood swings are so extreme that people often can't handle it. You also said that you sometimes feel passive and inferior. So, I'd love to hear more about the negative effects that your original family has had on you!

For example, you can say that because you were not paid enough attention to as a child and always had to be the life of the party, you repressed your true emotions and as an adult always want someone to pay attention to you and love you, and you get angry easily when the other person can't do it. You can also say that because as a child you were always trying to please others and play the life of the party to get the attention of your family, this made you feel that you were not good enough and not worthy of love, so sometimes you are passive-aggressive and inferior. In short, you need to figure out exactly what effects your original family had on you. Once you've done that, you can start to make some positive changes!

And the great news is that you can get rid of the negative ones by identifying the specific influences!

Second, I suggest you take a deep breath and think about the specific influences you have identified.

A rational perspective is a fantastic way to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you!

To do this, you just need to do three simple things!

First, understand that the negative influence of your original family is great, but it can be overcome!

Because you've already grown up and can take the initiative to change the status quo!

Now it's time to view yourself with a developmental perspective! You may feel a little old, but don't forget that you still have a lot of time and energy to improve and perfect yourself.

Second, it's time to embrace the incredible truth that you are inherently good enough and worthy of love!

You might feel inferior or negative sometimes, but you're wrong! It has nothing to do with not being paid enough attention when you were a child. Your very existence shows that you are good enough and worthy of love. This will make you more confident!

And here's another thing: you've got to see the advantages in yourself. Don't say you don't have any, because everyone has them, and you are no exception!

And the third thing you need to know is this: learning to love yourself is the only way to love others well!

In other words, if you want to have a great intimate relationship, you've got to love yourself!

When you look at it rationally like this, you can resolve all those negative emotions within you!

I have one more suggestion for you: focus on yourself and think about what you can do to become a better person!

When you take a rational look at the negative effects you find, you may also know what to do! At this point, you focus on yourself and give it your all to do a good job.

For example, when you feel negative and inferior, and when you feel insecure, you can tell yourself, "You have your own unique qualities that make you shine. You are good enough and worthy of love." This kind of positive self-talk is a great way to feel better and more confident!

You can also target your own shortcomings, accept what cannot be changed, and change what can be changed. This targeted change (you can read some relevant books, learn from others, etc.) will make you feel better and become stronger and more confident!

You can also try to love yourself well and give yourself a sense of security! For example, by paying more attention to your emotions (you said you are learning to control them, so you can give yourself some time to continue learning), meeting your own needs, respecting your own feelings, putting yourself first, etc. You will soon realize that you are good and worthy of love! You will no longer have to "beg" for attention because you have already learned to fill your own sense of insecurity, and that is loving yourself! In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the situation!

Once you start taking action, all those negative emotions will start to melt away! It's amazing how action can be the best way to beat those negative feelings.

And the best part is that when you learn to love yourself, you also learn how to love others. This means you are very likely to have a great, fulfilling relationship!

I really hope my answer helps! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a Coach" at the bottom and I'll be in touch!

Hello. You can and should perceive your emotions and learn from them. Find ways to improve them. This is great and worth encouraging. I am happy for you. You are right that your family of origin has influenced you. You are also right that being the youngest in the family and not getting enough attention has caused you to be emotionally volatile in your adult relationships. You have learned to control it, but the effect is not very good. You want to change this state. You want to gain a sense of security and have a healthy and ideal relationship.

These emotions bother you a lot.

Given your mention of the original family, it is clear that this has had a significant impact on who we are today. One such influence is the pattern of getting along with your partner, including the inability to control your emotions as you have previously mentioned. It is important to consider what aspects of your relationship with your partner are influenced by your original family.

What do you want to improve? We will do some reverse awareness to understand our real needs and reflect on ourselves.

Think about it when you encounter a problem. I have divided it into four steps.

Step 1: Identify the situations in your life that make you feel bad. These can be behaviors, character traits, or patterns of interaction with others.

I want you to focus on especially recurring situations.

Step 2: Name the uncomfortable situation. This can be an emotion or a feeling.

Step 3: Identify childhood experiences that are similar.

Step 4: Talk to yourself like you would a friend. Tell yourself that you are now grown up and have the skills to deal with similar situations.

Meditate to boost your self-confidence. Talk to yourself or the little you inside to soothe the wounded child inside, feel accepted and understood, and welcome her with open arms when she grows up.

You can learn more about meditation on your own.

Our family of origin has an impact on us, but we are not victims. We can choose to accept, understand, and embrace this impact. The important thing is what we should do for ourselves now.

We can and should take responsibility for ourselves, surpass ourselves, heal our wounds, and have a healthy and ideal relationship—a sweet and loving relationship.

Read books such as The Courage to Be Disliked, Co-Dependent, and The Trap of Personality. These books all mention the influence of our original families on us. Understand yourself, and you will have the courage to change. These books will help you.

You've got this. You're the best.

Let me be clear:

Divine power is no match for karma, and karma is no match for the power of one's wishes.

The story is about a river where there is a demon. The Buddha sends two of his most capable disciples, who have great magical powers, to suppress it using the Sumeru technique. They both fail and return, seeking a better method. The Buddha takes out a grain of rice and the disciples, confident that it will work, take it and go. They succeed in suppressing it.

Buddhism states that a grain of rice is greater than Mount Sumeru. It is greater than anything else because it comes from the devout wish of the giver.

An individual's destiny is shaped by the intersection of many factors, including the time of birth, family, order of birth, name, past lives, and the development of the times.

Master Zeng Shiqiang is clear that the biggest factors affecting destiny are congenital feng shui before birth and gender after birth.

These include the innate feng shui, which refers to the original family, family expectations, ranking, conditions, name, etc.

A person's gender at birth roughly means that they are suited to being a self-motivated person or someone with a strong sense of responsibility. Social expectations and the division of labor are different.

As they grow older and gain more experience, they will become more self-aware, grow and mature. They will have a better understanding of their own strengths, luck, and the real situation, and make appropriate choices.

Knowing the ways of the world is a form of protection and leverage. Understand this, and you will fit into the world more smoothly. Your aspirations will be fulfilled in the love of two hearts beating as one.

There are thousands of types of destiny, and the one that suits you is the best. Accept it for yourself.

Best wishes!

Hello, I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

It seems that the host is aware that it is one's inner self that affects intimacy. Indeed, to feel safe in an intimate relationship, we need to look inward, change our inner patterns, constantly try, practice, and get used to trusting ourselves, and spend more energy understanding and developing ourselves. Ultimately, your trust in yourself is the source of your sense of security in any relationship!

So, we need to do more self-exploration. We can then use what we learn from our relationships to make targeted adjustments to our own patterns.

If a single mother is emotionally hurt, she might tell her daughter things like, "Don't trust men. Women must rely on themselves," or, "Don't get too involved in relationships. If he treats you badly before marriage, what will he do after?"

This will have a direct and significant impact on your daughter's adult relationships and become her world view. Then, when she grows up, she'll be constantly suspicious and testing.

Even if she meets a reliable man, if she has such a belief system without any screening, then subconsciously she will constantly test and try to see if the other person really loves her. She'll challenge the man's patience in various ways, act up, and be jealous. She'll hope that the other person will unconditionally appease and tolerate her every time, until she has used up all of the other person's love and patience.

Ultimately, when that person leaves, she'll be left with the idea that men can't be trusted. It's a vicious cycle: beliefs create a matching reality, and reality reinforces that belief.

Our personality model is basically our entire belief system, and they interact with each other. Your personality model will strengthen your belief system, and then your belief system?

And it will affect your personality.

If we don't change our inner patterns, it'll be tough to break out of this cycle and become the person we hate the most. So how do our inner patterns form?

This is directly related to the way we attached as children.

Psychological research shows that children usually display three main types of attachment patterns during infancy and early childhood.

1. Secure attachment: A child with a secure attachment can play with toys without worrying when they are with their mother, and won't always cling to her. When their mother leaves, they'll show distress, but when she returns, they'll immediately seek contact with her, calm down quickly, and continue playing.

2. Avoidant attachment is another insecure attachment pattern. Kids with this type of attachment don't feel much tension or worry when their mom leaves and don't pay much attention when she returns. They may briefly approach and then walk away, displaying neglectful and evasive behaviors. These kids don't see much difference between the comfort of their mom and that of a stranger.

3. Anxious attachment is another insecure attachment pattern. They'll strongly resist their mother leaving, seek contact when she returns, but show resistance and anger. They can't calm down or play games.

Further research showed that people who lack a sense of security in intimate relationships often fall into one of two categories: insecure attachment, which can be either avoidant or anxious; or secure attachment. Avoidant attachment is characterized by being cold or indifferent in a romantic relationship, or by playing the role of the "bad guy" and forcing the other person to please them. Anxious attachment is characterized by tight control over the other person, constant monitoring, and a need for constant reassurance.

When there are problems in an intimate relationship, they often feel that the other person is being mean, that the other person is the relationship destroyer, and they rarely take the initiative to improve the relationship. Instead, they easily fall into anxiety and fear.

The truth is, if we want to feel secure in our intimate relationships, we don't need to change the other person. We need to change our own internal patterns and become secure attachments ourselves.

To become a secure attachment person, we need to do the following:

1. Know yourself and your own internal patterns.

If we take a step back and look at what we really need, we'll see that a lot of our emotions come from a deep-rooted desire for security that we didn't get as kids. Intimate relationships can make us retreat into our childhood, and that unfulfilled longing for childhood becomes our need.

When we feel angry, it's important to take a step back and ask ourselves why. Are we frustrated because our needs haven't been met?

Do we want the other person to approve of us, or do we want to be accepted unconditionally? Do we have any beliefs that are wrong?

...

You'll probably find that every time you get angry, it's because of the same thing, and that thing is your core problem.

For instance, I used to get annoyed at other people for what they did, at my kids for not doing their homework to my standards, at my husband for playing mahjong late into the night, and at my mother-in-law for controlling me.

Later on, I realized that I needed to change my own mindset, not them. I was measuring them against my own standards and feeling uncomfortable when they didn't meet them. But they're all independent individuals, and we can't control their actions and thoughts. When I accept them for who they are and express my expectations, if they can't do it, I don't use my own standards to measure them. Instead, I respect their independence and uniqueness. My heart is much lighter, and my relationship with them is becoming more and more harmonious.

2. Accept yourself and learn to take care of yourself.

Often, our problems stem from self-denial and self-doubt. Some of us are influenced by traditional Chinese culture and engage in self-criticism, thinking we're not good enough.

But if we keep dwelling on our flaws, we'll never be able to break free from our internal patterns and find the strength and courage within ourselves.

We can only let go of the resentment and anger we felt towards our parents during childhood when we learn to accept ourselves and our imperfections. And we can only build up inner strength and a sense of security when we learn to care for ourselves and take care of our own feelings and needs.

To care for ourselves, we have to keep at it. There are three key things to keep in mind:

It's important to take a step back and observe the situation without getting caught up in the emotion. Pain is inevitable, but it's not helpful to fight against it. Learn to surrender and accept the situation.

When we feel pain, the first thing we should do is not try to get rid of it or fight against it. Instead, we should accept and recognize the pressure and burden within us that are causing the pain.

I have a friend who was often neglected by her parents when she was a child. Whenever she particularly wanted to connect with them, she would beat herself up and feel hopeless. I suggested that she write down her feelings at these times, including the fear and guilt from her childhood of being abandoned. Gradually, she came to understand the true feelings behind her habitual attachment patterns, tried to understand the ins and outs of this feeling, experienced the emotions this pattern brought to her life, and discovered the repressed self-wishes and needs behind this feeling.

It's important to remember that in this process, we shouldn't be judging, just observing.

By staying aware, we can learn more about ourselves and why we suffer, as well as what we need.

Connect with our shared humanity and build a sense of connection and belonging within.

Life is full of challenges, and we all face difficult times. This is part of our shared humanity, and it's something we learn and grow from. When we recognize this, it helps us rebuild a sense of connection and belonging within ourselves.

I have a friend who's been having some issues with her boss recently. She's struggling to keep up with the company's progress at work and feels like her boss is asking too much of her. She's trying her best, but just can't seem to meet the boss' expectations. The boss, on the other hand, isn't seeing that she's trying hard and is pretty upset about the mistakes in her work.

Instead of trying to actively resolve the situation, she believes this is just how capable she is. If it doesn't work out, she'll simply leave.

She has set the bar pretty high for herself, hoping her boss won't be upset if she doesn't meet expectations. She's also hoping her boss won't take a pay cut because she's struggling to keep up with the company's progress. When her boss points out her mistakes and shortcomings in meetings, she resists, thinking she has no problems. She's not ready to admit her shortcomings and is resistant to growth.

One day, she met colleagues from other companies and realized that their lives were much more challenging than hers. They weren't paid as much as she was either. She felt relieved and realized her previous mindset was too narrow. She shouldn't resist the boss over minor issues at work. She also understood the boss's intentions. The boss didn't intend to embarrass her or hurt her, but wanted her to adapt to the company's growth, continue to grow, and thus adapt to society better.

When she sees this, it makes her more aware and resilient, and she takes the initiative to grow and improve herself. She's full of motivation for change and finally finds a sense of inner connection and belonging.

Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with the same consideration you would treat anyone else.

Self-care is about recognizing when you're feeling down and taking care of yourself in the process. This can be done mentally, emotionally, physically, or through certain behaviors. In other words, you're your own inner parent, taking care of your inner child.

For instance, if you feel guilty about something, you can imagine what you'd say to a close friend if you were chatting with her. In that moment, you can give yourself the same kind of comfort: "I can see that you're taking your needs and bottom line seriously, but your willingness is what matters most. A small deviation from the goal is no big deal. Everyone encounters this kind of situation, but tomorrow is a new day. I hope you'll be kind to yourself, be patient, and be forgiving."

When you find some positive experiences through continuous self-care practices, you'll become more confident. If you take care of your emotions and other needs, and keep growing on your own, you'll be more able to take on challenges and your abilities and energy will grow. This will help you feel more secure and worthy.

When you feel secure and stable inside, it shows in how you relate to other people.

Wishing you the best of luck!

Dear friend,

Hello!

You said you're the third child and the youngest in your family. It seems like your parents didn't pay much attention to you. You're very sensitive to their emotional state, and you often have to play the role of a happy-go-lucky person to ease the family atmosphere, which is overwhelming for you. This birth order and early environment have had a terrible impact on your current intimate relationships and self-esteem.

Individual psychologist Adler believes that the order in which a child is born in a family has a big impact on how that child develops. The different birth orders of children are like different roles in a play. Each has their own distinct personality and characteristics, even though they have the same parents and the same upbringing.

The eldest child often gets a lot of attention, is pretty reliable, and works hard to prove he's a good kid.

The second child will look for the older child's weak point and then get praise from their parents and teachers by beating the older child in that area.

Adler thought that the youngest children often have a strong sense of dependency and that they develop in a special way in terms of attachment and emotions.

While psychology often points to childhood experiences as a key factor in adult personality, emotions, and behavior, this can sometimes make people feel inadequate and powerless. When we're feeling lost and sad, it's easy to blame it on our childhood, which doesn't help us move forward.

Today's you is a totally different person from your past self. You can take responsibility for getting out of your predicament and changing your inferiority complex by changing your attitude towards your childhood circumstances. Change your perspective and mindset, and you'll be able to solve any problems that arise with ease.

Wishing you the best!

It is important to note that real-life scenarios often exceed the scope of theoretical explanations. Many psychological theories are based on current social conditions, which can lead to individuals adapting their lives to align with these theories, potentially causing psychological distress.

It is about using theory to identify your own direction based on your own situation.

The impact of one's family of origin on an individual is significant, yet it is not insurmountable. The influence of one's family of origin on an individual primarily stems from the subtle influence of one's parents and the subsequent effect on one's personality.

To effect changes in yourself, it is essential to have a clear understanding of your own personality and motivations.

Once you have a clear understanding of yourself, you must define your personal objectives and demonstrate the courage to make the necessary changes.

To effect change in one's ideas, it is essential to undertake a comprehensive examination of one's life experiences, to embrace one's circumstances, and to strive for a state of equilibrium between one's positive and negative aspects.

It is important to recognise that every individual's intimate relationship is unique. It is only you who can identify the ideal relationship for you.

It is possible to learn from the experiences and theories of others, but it is not possible to live their lives. Therefore, it is essential to have the courage to change and the determination to re-evaluate the world and make changes step by step in order to achieve the desired outcome.