How to handle the desire to destroy something when one's beloved has no feelings for them?

Hello! I admire you for being aware of your emotional feelings when you're with your favorite girl.

Good awareness is the first step to making positive changes.

You can't control how the girl feels, but you can use this as a chance to think about what you could have done better in your relationship with her and where you could have done more. This will help you to manage relationships better in the future.

You mentioned that you value the self-discipline of the girl who spends all her time studying except for eating and taking naps in a small room. I'd like to ask if you've witnessed this with your own eyes or if it's more of a guess. If it's a guess, it might be a projection of your inner self-requirements.

Such self-discipline is, to some extent, against human nature, and it requires a lot of self-control. What are your thoughts on this?

If you're more concerned about the girl's self-discipline and secretly hope that she'll demand the same of herself as you do, then even though you haven't done or said anything to her, she can sense a degree of non-acceptance from you and wants to change. No one wants to be changed, and no one wants to admit to someone they like that they're not good enough. So what the girl can do is inadvertently avoid non-acceptance and the pressure to change by distancing herself from you. Is that right?

This is something you need to try to understand. You can't accept that a lack of self-discipline is caused by fear. Self-discipline lets you meet your needs, but can you meet them in a better way? Because any self-discipline must respect human nature, and self-discipline that goes against human nature is self-abuse.

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.

Good day, questioner.

Given that you are now a freshman, I can almost sense the youthful energy you all have. This is a time in life when you can explore what you love and find your own sense of worth.

It is also an age when one can find friends with similar interests with whom to work or embark on a romantic relationship.

From what you've told me about the girl in question, I get the impression that she is a very likeable person. It seems that you were drawn to her initiative in approaching you, and I also sense that she has a strong sense of self-discipline. It appears that your acquaintance is going well, but then she began to become distant and her speech was very cold.

When you speak to her in person, she often appears disengaged and distracted. You sense a shift in her attitude towards you and wonder if it's because she's no longer as impressed by your self-discipline as she once was, or if there's another reason behind her gradual loss of interest.

It is worth noting that this is only a hypothesis. To gain more insight, it would be beneficial to inquire with the other person directly. How do you perceive how others view you?

It would be beneficial to consider how we evaluate ourselves.

It is important to remember that our own evaluation of ourselves is just as important as the evaluation of ourselves by others. While the evaluation of others may have certain limitations for us, it can still serve as an objective reference.

To a certain extent, our evaluation of ourselves is of great importance, and it is related to our self-esteem level. When our self-esteem level is relatively high, we can look for external causes (objective conditions) and internal causes (our own reasons) when problems arise. However, when our self-esteem level is relatively low, we may attribute more reasons to our own reasons, that is, internal reasons, and often ignore external reasons.

For example, in this matter, apart from the fact that the other person has lost interest in you and this has caused a change in their attitude towards you, could there be other reasons? Perhaps there are other factors at play, such as some unhappy experiences she had today that have affected her mood and, consequently, her attitude towards you.

It is worth noting that our self-esteem can influence how we perceive and respond to challenges.

Whenever you think about the change in her attitude towards you, you feel a destructive urge to smash the objects in front of you. It seems that you feel a force and want to vent it through the act of "smashing things."

So, what might this force be? It seems that her change in attitude triggered your suspicions, which in turn led you to blame yourself for feeling that you are not self-disciplined enough or have lost your attractiveness.

I wonder if this is making you feel distressed. Could it be that this distress is giving you a certain amount of power?

I believe that awareness is a powerful tool.

I believe that through self-awareness, we can make continual improvements to our self-control. It may be helpful to write down your feelings and become aware of what is behind the emotions, as this can help to reduce the fear that you may feel.

I hope that my above beliefs can be of some help to you in calming down and dealing with your emotions. If this doesn't help much, you might like to try temporarily leaving the emotional environment that triggers you, and distracting yourself to calm down.

I hope the above information is helpful to you. I'm aware that I'm not the most articulate person, so I'm grateful for your understanding. Thank you for reading!

Hello, question asker! I'm thrilled to answer your question. I can totally relate to your feelings from your description of the incident.

I get the feeling that you've made the best decision for you, but I can tell you're still holding on to this relationship.

You were the one who put in more effort in the relationship! It's clear that he became very angry as soon as you woke up, and his response has faded. He has begun to care less about you, but you can do better!

Let your hate fuel your love! After a comprehensive analysis of your description, I think it is a bit reckless for you to give up. After all, this relationship has been going on for a while, and both sides have put in effort. What is the specific reason for giving up?

Don't give up just because you judge it yourself. Your friend's persuasion that she has no interest in you is not her direct feedback. Your friend is observing from the sidelines and cannot replace you, so he only has the right to advise but not the right to decide. You have also made this decision irrationally based on your friend's advice. But you can make a better decision!

So now, in this state, I have two suggestions for you! Since you have decided to break up, I don't know if you have notified your girlfriend. If you haven't notified her, you have the opportunity to have an in-depth communication with your girlfriend. You can summarize the pros and cons of getting along in the past and plan a feasible plan for getting along in the future!

If you've already informed your girlfriend and she's agreed to the breakup, you can find an amazing way to release all that pent-up frustration! Negative emotions can really weigh you down, so it's time to let them go. You can do this by cleaning up the things he gave you or the letters he wrote to you, and take the time to focus on yourself. You can also go on an incredible trip to change the environment and give her a little space.

You've got this! You can get through this period of stress slowly. As more new things are added, the impact of this event on you will be diluted.

I'm thrilled to have an appointment in 1983! I love you, world!