Human independence? Unconditional self-acceptance, don't you think?

That's how it is.

I don't know what happened, but I'm going to tell you that true independence is about being content with yourself, accepting yourself, and accepting that you're imperfect.

Psychology teaches us that the relationships of Hebei people all originate from the relationship between ourselves and ourselves. When we do not accept ourselves and do not allow our imperfections, various emotions will arise within us, such as self-negation, self-blame, green inferiority, and a sensitive personality. These emotions will always haunt us inside, even entangling us in an endless cycle. We must break free from this psychological internal friction.

Rational behavior therapy, proposed by the renowned psychologist Ellis, asserts that people have psychological barriers due to unreasonable thoughts. When we do not accept ourselves, we experience a range of emotions, which are a result of these beliefs. It is not the external circumstances that cause our emotions, but rather the beliefs that emerge from them.

When we unconditionally accept ourselves, we let go of low self-esteem, guilt, and self-blame. We respect our own feelings. True acceptance does not mean resigning ourselves to the status quo, accepting reality, and giving up on ourselves. Acceptance is just the beginning. The changes that follow are what make acceptance meaningful. We do not accept others in order to accept ourselves. We accept others in order to become the best version of ourselves.

When we accept ourselves and get along with ourselves peacefully, we are our own foundation. We will no longer seek security from the outside. When we don't seek from the outside, we won't feel tired inside and won't compare. At such times, when we get along with others, we will make people feel very comfortable and have a good attitude. When we get along with others, we will also feel calm and not be impatient.

You understand it very well. When we are at peace within, we can live a secluded life or remain calm in the bustling city. Either way, we can get along well with others.

I think the host's understanding is pretty spot on, and it seems like they've already got a good grasp on this.

Human independence is relative to symbiosis, which is a fascinating concept!

The bond between a mother and her little one is truly special. It's a beautiful, one-of-a-kind relationship where the baby is completely attached to their mother, and the mother is equally attached to her little bundle of joy.

As the child grows, they'll gradually become more and more independent. They'll be able to move away from their mother's sight and play alone.

Even when they're separated from their mommies, little ones still feel connected to them in a special way.

If the child feels safe and loved by their mother, they will be confident to explore the world on their own and embrace new experiences.

If an insecure attachment is formed with the mother, it can make it hard to differentiate and individualize, or to be independent, especially mentally.

It's so interesting how our relationships with ourselves reflect our relationships with others!

I think I've got a feeling. Let's see if I'm right!

When we have a good relationship with ourselves, it's because we're happy with who we are. We're confident and independent, and we don't need others to make us feel good about ourselves. We can be ourselves in a relationship without worrying about being controlled or coerced.

Absolutely! When you have a great relationship with yourself, you're more satisfied with yourself and you're more independent mentally.

I'm sure this statement is easy to understand for anyone with a psychological foundation.

Some folks might not get why there's still a relationship between "me" and "me" when we're the same person.

Let's put it in simple terms. Our relationship with ourselves is actually a reflection of how we were treated by a loved one when we were young, like a parent.

If a mother or father is kind to their child, it's a wonderful thing! The child will feel loved, and the parent will become internalized as the child's alter ego.

The other self loves and accepts the original self, and the original self can be more confident and independent.

The host understands that when we feel good about ourselves, it helps us feel more independent mentally.

When we feel good about ourselves, we feel safe and secure. We don't need to control others to feel safe.

2. It can be tough to accept ourselves unconditionally, but it's possible! One way to do this is by repairing the relationship with another part of yourself.

It's a beautiful thing when a person can achieve unconditional self-acceptance and become completely self-sufficient mentally. It's a challenging journey, but it's so worth it! When you've reached this level of self-acceptance, you'll have very few needs for others. You'll be able to live a wonderful life, even if you choose to live alone like some hermits.

I can see how unconditional acceptance might seem a bit idealistic.

If you can accept yourself just as you are, without any conditions, then you'll feel at peace with yourself.

When there's no conflict, there's no internal friction, and you can devote all your energy to doing what you want!

People like this have the strength to accomplish so many things on their own. Even if they need help, they won't feel powerless in their hearts. They can even ask for help more boldly!

If he wants to live a secluded life, he'll never feel lonely or helpless.

So, how can we achieve mental independence?

When you were a child, you missed the best chance to spread your wings and become independent. As you grew up, you reunited with that part of yourself that was projected in your mind, and allowed that original self to have your company and approval, which is also his unconditional acceptance. This gradually increased your sense of security, so that you were able to venture out and become independent.

The tricky part is getting past that initial opposition. It just takes a little patience and time to work through it.

Let's say you want to do something, but an inner voice immediately objects, saying that you can't do it and you won't do it well. Would you be afraid to do it?

At this time, you can have a chat with that inner voice of opposition: "I'd love to give it a try. If I don't do it well, will you still accept me?" You say you can't do it because you're worried that you won't be able to do it, that you'll suffer, and that you don't want me to fail. At the same time, you can't accept failure, right?

I'd also like to ask you to be more forgiving with yourself. If you can allow yourself to fail, you'll be able to accept my failure too.

When you hear that voice of opposition, it's not that the person doesn't support you. They just have some concerns, and that's okay!

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help. Let's work together to point out his concerns and help him accept himself first, and then you. I promise it'll make things easier.

3. Only people with a rich spirit are brave enough to show their true selves to others.

Because they don't feel the need to seek external validation, people who live in groups can be open and understanding in their relationships and not afraid of losing. It can even be said that these people live well in groups. More often than not, they do not seek to avoid the world.

People who are content with themselves don't go looking for external fulfillment.

Their inner openness also makes them super comfortable in group relationships!

The inner world is like the underlying color of the outer world.

But you know, what we show to the world isn't always a true reflection of who we really are.

Take, for instance, someone who is going through a lot on the inside. They might, for a specific reason, put on a show for others. They might say only what they think others want to hear and do only what makes others happy.

This kind of relationship may seem good, but it can actually suppress a person's own needs.

It's only people who are truly rich in spirit who don't need to seek outside.

At the same time, they won't shut themselves off from the world. They'll be brave and show the world their true selves, and they'll be unafraid of what others think.

In a nutshell, if you want to become mentally independent, the first thing you can do is play with the relationship between the part of yourself that often feels afraid or opposed, and the part of yourself that really wants to do something. This will help you to strengthen your inner strength.

If you feel that the above methods are too slow, don't worry! You can also do the opposite. It doesn't matter who you are, you can first open yourself up and show yourself to others. Don't be afraid of what others think! It can actually help you feel stronger on the inside.

I really hope these answers help you understand independence better.

Hi, I'm Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor. I wish you all the best!

Hello, questioner!

You have raised a very thought-provoking question.

Many people have different interpretations of this.

I wholeheartedly support your view.

I'd like to add something, and we can explore it together.

1. Self-reliance means freedom.

As you said, the more self-sufficient we are, the less we need and depend on others.

This means that, to a large extent, we are free.

For example, if we are financially independent, we simply don't need to rely on our parents.

This also applies mentally.

Affirm and approve of yourself, and you'll no longer seek the approval of others.

It is challenging to be completely self-sufficient mentally.

This is how we can pursue it:

This is our goal.

The more we don't seek outside validation, the more self-consistent we become, and the freer and more relaxed we are.

Independence does not cause isolation. It makes us more comfortable in groups.

2. Moderate dependence.

Some people pursue independence as if they are unwilling to rely on others—they're wrong.

I firmly believe that the more we rely on others, the more independent we become.

Being independent does not mean turning inwards for everything.

Self-knowledge is the key.

We don't control or force.

This is how we can feel at ease being ourselves.

At the same time, we can and should rely on others in moderation.

Good relationships make us happy.

Dependence based on independence makes it easier for others to feel comfortable and creates a better connection with others.

Why?

We are not islands.

I take responsibility for my life and respect the independence of others because I am independent.

We trust others and rely on them because we are independent. When the time is right, we rely on them.

When we cannot rely on each other, we don't force it.

You'll be happier in a relationship if you're not afraid to lose or gain.

When we take care of ourselves, we are independent.

A healthy relationship is the encounter of two independent people.

It's me with 100 points, you with 100 points, and together we become 200 points.

An unhealthy relationship is when one person is incomplete and the other is forced to fill the gap.

Take responsibility for your own half of life.

I am only 50 points, and I expect you to give me 50 points to make me complete.

3. Know yourself and know others.

People who unconditionally accept themselves are the very people who can understand and support themselves. They do not engage in internal conflict.

When we do this, we will understand others better.

Take care of your own feelings.

Listen to your inner voice.

Respect others as independent individuals.

Understand that others are different from us.

At this point, we can and will establish healthy relationships with others.

That is.

Respect each other's boundaries.

Do not infringe on others' freedom.

Ultimately, we must live in relationships.

The relationship with the self is the root of all relationships.

If we are at peace with ourselves, we will be at peace with others.

We are brave enough to be independent and rely on others without fear of losing.

We are independent within.

Read "Fantasy is Reality" if you're interested.

Share these.

We welcome your comments.

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

The questioner's view of self-acceptance is good for self-reliance. I understand this view and want to share it with the questioner. Self-acceptance is accepting yourself and loving yourself, as the questioner said.

Self-acceptance means accepting your strengths and weaknesses, your own shortcomings, and how to improve. Don't be too hard on yourself. Be tolerant and accept yourself.

Self-acceptance is understanding and accepting yourself.

Self-acceptance may lead to satisfaction in relationships, but it depends on the situation. If you don't have too many expectations of yourself, or if you learn to accept the situation you're in, you may find satisfaction more easily.

It's hard to meet our own demands, just like human desires. When we can easily achieve a good level in certain things, we turn our attention to other things. It's more important for the questioner to see how he or she views himself or herself, whether he or she can accept his or her current approach, emotions, and others' views of him or her. This requires careful self-awareness.

Spiritual independence. If you are independent in your life and have modest material needs, you can be demanding in the spiritual realm and achieve spiritual independence.

The questioner should also improve their immunity to other people's opinions. If other people point fingers at the questioner, the questioner should be able to ignore them.

Find out where their views come from, what their behavior patterns are, and what sets them apart from themselves. Think about it and figure out how to be self-aware. Argue with negative emotions and thoughts, and your spirit will be strong.

Be yourself in your relationships. Accept yourself, strengthen yourself, and influence others on your own path.

Knowing what you want, what you can do, and how to achieve it, and then going forward with determination, you can be more yourself in relationships. To be yourself in relationships, you must accept the consequences and face opposing voices.

The questioner needs self-affirmation and acceptance. Know that your actions are correct.

Affirm, accept, and learn to accept yourself. This will help you find your way to independence.

I hope this helps the questioner.

The question is well-formulated.

My name is Kelly Shui.

Let us discuss the topic of independence.

[Regarding independence]

In psychology, independence, also known as autonomy, is defined as

The capacity to make decisions and execute them without external direction or oversight, coupled with a willingness to assume responsibility for the outcomes of one's actions.

For instance, some psychologists have examined the personality traits of artists, mathematicians, writers, architects, entrepreneurs, and scholars.

The general results are as follows:

The following qualities are essential for high-level talent: independence, self-confidence, not asking for help, enthusiasm, diligence, not being arrogant, decisiveness, and strong self-control.

Furthermore, an explanation is provided:

In 1964, Canadian psychologist Eric Berne proposed the famous PAC theory in his book, Games People Play. This analytical theory posits that an individual's personality is comprised of three psychological states with varying degrees of influence, namely the "parent," "adult," and "child" states.

I am sure you will recall the book entitled "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist."

The character of Mr. Toad has historically exhibited a childlike state of mind and a lack of independence. Following a period of depression, he sought the assistance of a psychologist to address the underlying issue.

He has become fully independent and has embarked on a new phase of his life.

He exhibits the characteristics of an adult personality.

1. Emotional Security and Self-Acceptance

The book references his early experiences of criticism and disapproval from his parents. During this period, the child's sense of self was still evolving, resulting in a tendency to oscillate between independence and dependence.

It is important to consider how these influences may affect later life, even if this phenomenon repeats itself constantly during his growth process. This raises the question of whether true independence can be achieved in the future. At that time, the attitude of his parents made Mr. Toad ignore his own merits, until with the help of a counselor, he felt secure and recognized himself.

2. Demonstrates resilience in the face of inevitable conflicts and setbacks, maintaining a realistic perspective.

Once he had become independent, he was able to deal with his own setbacks and began selling off the estate to start a new business venture.

3: He is self-aware and has a clear understanding of his current situation, past experiences, strengths, and weaknesses.

He begins to engage in activities that align with his interests and demonstrates an ability to embrace his strengths and weaknesses with an open mind.

4. The capacity to extend oneself, to interact with others in a positive and enthusiastic manner, to adhere to consistent life values, and to have a clear sense of direction in one's professional endeavors.

The book concludes with Mr. Toad, now an independent individual, singing a song, recognizing the strengths and weaknesses of his friends, and remaining unaffected by them.

This book effectively illustrates the dynamics between parents, adults, and children, and ultimately demonstrates how individuals can transcend their own limitations. After introspection, individuals develop mature and independent personality traits.

Let us now examine some key lessons from our lives.

The importance of independence is reflected in all aspects of adult life.

[Work]

For instance, an independent worker will apply independent thought and logic to complete the task at hand.

Additionally, there is a category of individuals who are moderately dependent, relying primarily on guidance from others and following their directives.

The subject of marriage

For example, in the context of marriage and family, individuals with a high degree of independence will make well-informed decisions based on their own thoughts and take responsibility for their choices.

They are fully aware that marriage is a personal decision and that they wish to be with their chosen partner. They also understand the reasons behind their positive feelings towards the other person and are committed to maintaining this relationship.

Chestnut:

Mr. Irwin Yalom, author of "Becoming Myself"

In his biography of Carl Rogers,

Please refer to Carl Jung's story, "Self-Healing and Growth."

These individuals possess independent minds and firmly held beliefs.

Those who lack independence are prone to being disturbed by numerous external influences. The "mama's boy/girl," a common topic on online forums, is an archetypal personality lacking in independence.

[Economic Independence]

For instance, an individual lacking financial independence may desire autonomy and freedom from their parents' influence but may also exhibit emotional dependency.

Such individuals also encounter difficulties in attaining genuine independence.

Those who are not financially independent may experience a conflicted situation, wherein they fear their parents' departure while simultaneously challenging their authority and disagreeing with them.

Financial independence is also a form of independence in life. It allows individuals to gradually create their own lives.

Once these conditions are met, unconditional self-acceptance will be achieved.

You stated that an improved relationship with oneself leads to greater self-satisfaction, independence, and the ability to interact with others without external influence.

This is a comprehensive understanding of oneself and the capacity to accept oneself.

Select the option that best suits your needs and learn together.

Best regards,

Hello! You asked about human independence.

It means accepting yourself unconditionally. Do you agree?

You like to think deeply and analyze problems. This is a good habit that will make you wise.

Let's look at your question more closely.

You feel this way. Let's see if you're right.

The better one's relationship with oneself, the more satisfied, independent, and self-sufficient one becomes. This allows one to be oneself in relationships without control or coercion. When one achieves unconditional self-acceptance and spiritual self-sufficiency, one will have little need for others.

Such a person can live well alone or with others. They are at ease in relationships and open and understanding.

After reading your description, I feel you have insights. I'd like to understand the logic in them.

If a person is at peace with themselves, they can be happy, independent, and true to themselves in relationships.

2. If you accept yourself and are self-sufficient, you can live well alone. But most people want to live in relationships.

What is personal independence and unconditional self-acceptance?

Human independence is about more than just material and life independence. It's also about spiritual independence. Are you saying that a person is spiritually independent here? In philosophy, independence is described like this:

An independent person is someone who thinks for themselves and can live alone. But we are social animals and can't really be self-sufficient. We can only say that a person is independent.

Unconditional self-acceptance means accepting a person for who they are. They have value in and of themselves, regardless of external standards. Even if they make mistakes, we still accept them and help them find solutions.

Personal independence and unconditional self-acceptance are similar.

1. Having one's own thoughts. An independent person and a person with unconditional self-acceptance should both be people with spiritual independence.

2. They are strong and open-minded. They can accept themselves and others better. They can also accept different opinions.

The difference between personal independence and unconditional self-acceptance.

1. Human independence covers more than self-acceptance. It includes spiritual and material independence.

Human independence is wide-ranging, while unconditional self-acceptance is narrow.

2. Independence and self-acceptance are different. Independence requires material, living, and spiritual independence. Self-acceptance is more psychological. It means accepting yourself as you are and accepting the facts about yourself.

Does independence lead to unconditional self-acceptance?

If a person is independent, does he accept himself unconditionally? They have some similarities, but independence doesn't mean unconditional self-acceptance.

Unconditional self-acceptance is a necessary but not sufficient condition for independence.

Best wishes to the questioner! I hope my answer helps. Love, the world and I!

Good day!

As a heart exploration coach, I believe that learning is one of the most valuable experiences we can have.

In light of your insights on unconditional self-acceptance, I would be grateful for the opportunity to share some of my own perspectives for your consideration. Let's delve into this together.

I would like to take a moment to share some thoughts on the topic of self-acceptance.

I believe that self-acceptance is the ability to embrace all aspects of oneself, including both positive and negative characteristics. It entails the capacity to accept one's shortcomings without negating one's self-worth or feeling that one is "good enough."

I believe this is consistent with your understanding that the better the relationship between yourself and yourself, the more self-satisfied you will be.

A person who can accept themselves is able to evaluate themselves objectively, without being overly harsh on themselves due to perceived shortcomings and inadequacies. This allows them to become less dependent on the affirmation of others, as they are able to embrace their own self-worth. In relationships, they can also be more authentic, without forcing or controlling.

It can be said that those who need others to satisfy themselves and are particularly dependent on others may find themselves relying on an external evaluation system to a greater extent than is healthy. This is what psychology refers to as a false self. In contrast, a person who has achieved self-acceptance and self-approval will have an internalised evaluation system and will feel that they are "good enough" without needing the affirmation of others.

Secondly, we would like to explore the relationship between self-acceptance and solitude.

I believe that the more a person is able to accept themselves, the more they can be alone. This seems to be consistent with your understanding.

People who accept themselves tend to have good relationships with themselves. They accept their bodies and appearance from the heart, protect themselves from negative comments, and can feel and believe in their abilities. They can also be alone, as they don't need others to satisfy their needs. Their relationships with others are comfortable and at ease. Many people are unable to be comfortable in relationships and are afraid of losing them. As a result, they may expect the other person to satisfy their needs.

I would like to revisit the topic of self-acceptance and its relationship to interpersonal relationships.

Once self-acceptance has been achieved and the relationship with oneself has been managed, it can undoubtedly contribute to the development of interpersonal relationships.

I believe this is consistent with your final point about people who accept themselves living well in groups and not avoiding the world.

It could be said that people who choose to avoid the world or who find it challenging to navigate relationships may also find it difficult to manage their own relationships.

It could be said that all external relationships are ultimately a reflection of the relationship between oneself and oneself.

When we stop focusing on ourselves too much, it can help to improve our relationships with others. It's possible that we experience difficulties in our relationships because we have high expectations of others. We often expect others to meet our needs, but those who are self-accepting are able to recognize and appreciate their own abilities. They have positive thoughts and feelings about their abilities, believe that they can do better, can take responsibility for themselves, and can look at themselves with a positive and developing outlook. This can help them to achieve self-sufficiency, which can make relationships easier.

I believe that the aforementioned true self-acceptance is similar to self-love.

When a person truly accepts and loves themselves, their relationship with their true self will become more harmonious. They will not indulge themselves, but will strive to become better while seeing their own shortcomings. They will not be self-critical, self-doubting, or self-negating, but will believe in themselves and inspire their greatest potential. It is fair to say that many would be happy to be in a relationship with such a person. It stands to reason that their interpersonal relationships will be very good.

I hope my understanding is of some help to you.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom of the page. I would be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.

That's a great question!

Your analysis of spiritual independence after unconditional self-acceptance, the needs of others, and being oneself has also given me some food for thought, which I would love to share with you!

What is self-acceptance?

Psychological self-acceptance is all about embracing your amazing self! It's about having a positive attitude towards yourself and all your wonderful characteristics. Individuals with a high level of self-acceptance can positively affirm their body, abilities, and personality, and accept everything about themselves as it is. They are neither proud of their own merits and specialties, nor inferior because of certain shortcomings or mistakes. They are simply proud of who they are!

The absolute pinnacle of self-acceptance is unconditional self-acceptance. It's a crucial element in maintaining optimal mental health!

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of spiritual independence!

Spiritual independence is all about respect and control of others, common sense, rules, and respect and control of oneself. So in this sense, a person with a high degree of self-acceptance contributes to an individual's spiritual independence, and an individual's true spiritual independence is not only unconditional self-acceptance, but also acceptance, respect, and control of others, society, and the environment.

Its conceptual scope obviously includes an environmental factor that goes beyond self-acceptance, which is really exciting!

Absolutely! Spiritual independence requires others.

The wonderful thing about spiritual independence is that it can be achieved alongside economic independence. Even if you are currently avoiding the world for certain practical reasons and personal choices, such as the questioner's description of an "escapist sage," you can still pursue spiritual independence. All you need is a direct source of income and the ability and confidence to support yourself independently. Having a source of income means having fewer material exchanges. Even an escapist sage has to buy seeds and salt, and interactions with people require the help of others.

[Spiritual independence is not self-isolation]

Spiritual independence is not the same as self-isolation. In fact, spiritually independent people are great at listening to other people's opinions!

This is why it's so important to have an independent and complete self! When you have this, you can hold different ideas, then combine them to create a better idea. This allows you to choose actions that are more beneficial to yourself. This is something that can be very difficult for people who are not mentally independent, because they do not have a stable self and are either led astray by different opinions or are self-doubting.

[How to be your own person]

Based on the above analysis, I wholeheartedly believe that on the basis of the questioner's ability to accept oneself, starting with economic independence, and constantly cultivating one's independent thinking and awareness, one can be an amazing version of oneself! Always being clear that you are an independent individual, being able to stick to your own ideas and make your own choices, is more important than being happy to not ask for help, being comfortable, and having gains and losses.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! I'd be really grateful for your advice.

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

"The better your relationship with yourself, the more satisfied you become – the more independent your spirit – the less you need and depend on others – the more you can be yourself in relationships, without control or coercion." This summary shows how the questioner has grown and reflected on their own experience. My personal thoughts on this are as follows.

A person's independence is shaped by the external environment, personal experiences, and self-perceptions. The theory mentioned by the questioner also considers this aspect. However, it's important to note that, regardless of theoretical knowledge or doctrine, we ultimately have to practice and understand it ourselves. If you're convinced of certain theories and willing to put them into practice, it's a different story if you lack empathy. This doesn't mean that problematic theories aren't suitable for everyone. As the saying goes, "One measure of rice feeds a hundred people."

What am I trying to get across in this paragraph? Is there anything else I should explain?

I just want to be clear that we're all individuals with our own goals. The same goes for "independence." In theory, unconditional self-acceptance can lead to independence, but reality is a million times more complicated than theory. So, we can't just equate "independence" with "unconditional self-acceptance."

No matter what the theory is, as long as we feel like we've gained something and been enlightened, that's a good theory. We don't need to worry about what others think. I am who I am, and I'm a different kind of fireworks. Independence has its benefits, too.

From my perspective, unconditional self-acceptance isn't fixed. It's fluid and evolves over time based on experience, learning, and observation. Each stage offers a unique understanding and experience. The answers we provide to the question at hand are like a glass of fine wine. It's the same glass of wine, but the type, taste, color, texture, and even the strength of the wine are all different. Ultimately, it all comes down to our experiences and the differences in what we know, see, learn, and feel.

The questioner has gained some insight and is willing to share it with everyone. This is probably a great experience for the questioner! But I am also curious about one thing: what does the questioner hope to gain or achieve by asking this question?

I hope that by the end of the article, the author will have learned a lot about self-exploration and self-acceptance. I hope that he will have made a lot of progress and will be able to achieve what he wants.

Hello, I'm Liang Qingyou.

I came across a lovely passage the other day.

Your words give me a sense of security, clarity, and freedom. From your description, I can tell that you are different from most questioners. You are not here to find answers, but to seek the answers you already have within.

What is the self and how do we accept it?

We often hear people talk about accepting themselves. This sounds great, but what does it mean to accept oneself, and how does one do it?

Before I answer this question, I think it's important to first figure out what the self is.

The self is being a person, with all the attributes of self-respect and self-love. I'm not a tool for achieving various goals, a tool for proving to others that I'm not bad, or a tool for success.

Accepting oneself means accepting that you're a living person, that it's normal to have emotions and thoughts when you encounter things, and even to lose control. It means being able to rely on yourself to deal with those negative emotions and feelings without hoping that your spouse or a friend will be your own counselor.

When I don't need to prove myself to anyone and fully respect my feelings, as you said, "the better one's relationship with oneself, the more self-satisfied one becomes – the more independent one becomes spiritually – the less need and dependence one has for others – the more one can be oneself in relationships without control or coercion."

In other words, we become more comfortable with our own space, setting clearer boundaries, not letting others bother us, and not letting them cross our line.

If I mess up, I won't beat myself up. I'll just do it differently next time. And if I don't get along with others, I won't dwell on what I did wrong. I'll just try to improve.

I noticed you mentioned twice that when someone can accept themselves unconditionally and is completely self-sufficient mentally, they have very few needs from others.

I agree with you completely. When I'm at my best, I'm confident and assertive when things come up, and I'm unafraid to make decisions without worrying about what others think. If I'm not comfortable in a relationship with someone important, I'm not afraid of conflict or loss. I can express my feelings and expectations for that person in a polite and professional way.

I can choose to withdraw from the world or I can depend on you. It's my decision.

You said a couple of times that even if you live alone, you can be at ease in relationships and open and understanding when you're in a community.

I'm trying to grasp this concept: when I'm mentally independent and autonomous in a relationship, I'll have plenty of options. I can either choose to depend on someone or enjoy solitude. The choice is up to me, and I'll be happy no matter how I live my life.

Taking responsibility for yourself gives you more freedom.

It's all about having more choices. The more responsibility you take on, the more autonomy you have, and the more comfortable you'll be in your relationships with yourself and others.

Greetings.

What is meant by the term "independent"?

The term "independence" denotes the autonomous ability that an individual must possess in order to live in society.

It can be classified into three categories.

Furthermore, the capacity for independent living, or autonomy in daily life, is a crucial aspect of this concept.

In addition, the capacity for economic independence, that is, the ability to maintain financial autonomy, is a crucial aspect of independence.

& Personality independence (an independent and mature personality with independent judgment).

The ability to live independently is defined as the capacity to take care of oneself in daily life without relying on others. In the context of children, this implies that before reaching the age of majority, they are not yet able to meet their basic needs independently. These include necessities such as clothing, food, housing, and transportation, which are typically provided by parents. Consequently, children are not considered to be living independently until they reach the age of majority.

Financial independence is defined as financial freedom, self-sufficiency, and the ability to achieve and satisfy one's financial needs independently. An individual attains financial independence upon entering the workforce and attaining a stable income, thereby becoming financially independent from their parents.

Personal independence is the capacity to make one's own decisions and adhere to one's own principles and ideas in the face of challenges or disagreements. It entails the courage to express one's genuine thoughts and opinions, rather than succumbing to fear or intimidation. A pleasing personality, for instance, may manifest as a form of negative dependence, characterised by a reluctance to assert one's needs and a tendency to acquiesce to the demands of others.

Upon comprehension of the aforementioned points, one can undertake a targeted analysis of their current situation and embark on a journey towards independence. Over time, one can cultivate a heightened sense of inner value and self-confidence, ultimately attaining independence.

From the question, however, it can be discerned that the issue troubling the questioner is the manner in which one should view one's relationship with oneself. Does a person who is able to manage their relationship with themselves in a harmonious manner indicate that they have achieved freedom and overcome their concerns? This is not a problem with a single dimension, but rather one that requires a targeted approach.

A positive relationship between the self and the self represents an individual's capacity to resolve emotional challenges. When difficulties arise, one can more rapidly disengage from the problem and return to the present moment, focusing on the present. This allows for a more objective assessment of emotions and external stimuli, maintaining a balance between emotions, feelings, and the external environment. Consequently, one is better equipped to navigate relationships with others. However, this does not necessarily indicate the attainment of an independent personality.

The question of whether an individual possesses an independent personality is ultimately contingent upon their capacity to respect their inner feelings and assume responsibility for their words and actions, rather than merely their ability to regulate emotions.

For instance, when confronted with minor issues and disagreements, the majority of individuals are able to regulate their emotions and address them effectively. With the insights gained from these experiences, they are capable of resolving similar challenges in the future in a similar manner. However, when confronted with more complex and significant challenges, they may become hesitant and lack the confidence to take the initiative, instead relying on external sources for guidance. This suggests that such individuals may not have fully developed minds and personalities that are truly independent and self-sufficient.

It must be acknowledged that an autonomous individual is not invariably capable of resolving issues in an optimal manner or of maintaining a sound relationship with themselves. Nevertheless, they possess a sufficient degree of trust and security in themselves, enabling them to confront challenges courageously and to exert considerable effort in their resolution, thereby enhancing their capabilities.

Consequently, an individual who has attained spiritual independence is compelled to experience a sense of security and stability, devoid of the pervasive sentiments of doubt, apprehension, and distress.

The relationship between "independence" and "self" is mutually reinforcing, yet neither is necessarily superior to the other.

I extend my best wishes to you.