I am a senior in college and found out that my mother's job is my work. How should I persuade her not to do this?

Hello, host. This is a difficult choice for you, but you can do it. You have two options: persuade her now or after she graduates. First, take a deep breath and remain calm. This incident did not happen overnight, and you have lived a peaceful life for so long. But suddenly, you find that this incident has shattered your peace of mind. What should you do? Trust your instincts. You want to tell your mother right away and persuade her not to do this. You are constrained by social moral opinions, but you are also worried about her health and the related diseases. You have the right to make any decision. If you decide to tell her now, pay attention to the way you talk to her. Let your mother know that you are concerned about her health, understand her difficulties, feel for her situation, and hope that she will not do this. You also want to protect your mother. She will generally understand you after listening to your persuasion. As for whether she continues or stops doing this, you have to respect her choice.

You should try your best to persuade her and let her decide. You are already an adult, so you should make a reasonable separation from your family. You still rely on them, but you need to make a choice.

It is recommended that you embrace your child. It is unclear whether you are the individual who posed a similar question the previous day. You indicated that your mother had previously engaged in deceitful behavior. Regardless of whether you are the same individual who inquired about this matter, it is still a profoundly challenging topic.

Prostitution is a criminal act, regardless of one's personal sentiments. It is understandable that a child may find it challenging to confront such a complex issue, particularly given the financial dependence they may have on their mother.

As a junior college student, you are approaching the threshold of adulthood and the advent of your own independent life. It is crucial for you to ascertain with certainty that your mother is engaged in illicit activities. You still have the opportunity to communicate with her and offer her a chance to rectify her actions. However, if she is arrested, you may not have the chance to intervene and potentially save her from the consequences of her actions. In such a scenario, the state would then assume the responsibility of providing for her and her children.

As a junior college student, you may also encounter challenges related to marriage and dating. If your mother is engaged in this kind of work, it is important to consider her value in the dating market. It is essential to recognize that selling sex is not a matter of poverty, but rather a violation of the law.

Therefore, as a third-year college student, it is imperative to have a comprehensive understanding of the legal system and a positive outlook on life. Attempting to circumvent this issue will not resolve it. It is essential to engage in a formal discussion with your mother regarding the gravity of the situation. To effectively assist her, it is crucial to address the underlying causes of her behavior before even discussing the specifics of the disease.

If her perception is erroneous and her values are distorted, is it sufficient for you to merely concern yourself with her health? Avoiding reality will not address the underlying issue. If one is unable to act in accordance with moral principles, even if it results in harm to one's own family, it is imperative to at least refrain from the immediate precipice and redirect oneself onto a virtuous path. This will enable your mother to reconsider her current situation and pursue a legitimate source of income.

While this occupation may be relatively expedient in terms of financial gain, it is crucial to consider whether money, in and of itself, can truly fulfill the intrinsic human need for dignity. Does the money earned through this endeavor retain its intrinsic value when the underlying motivation is the mere pursuit of financial gain?

It is imperative to save your mother, confront the issue directly, and refrain from further involvement in criminal and lawless activities. While circumstances beyond one's control, such as the circumstances of one's birth and upbringing, cannot be altered, the choice to live with dignity and integrity remains within one's power. As a third-year university student, you possess the capacity to support yourself financially.

If one's mother engages in criminal activities such as theft, robbery, and prostitution, the underlying cause may be partially attributed to the manner in which she was raised. By attaining financial independence, one's mother may be less compelled to resort to such illicit means of income generation. If one harbors a genuine affection for their mother, it would be prudent to engage in a candid dialogue with her, exploring the subject from a multifaceted perspective encompassing legal, emotional, social, and health considerations.

Hello, landlord!

I totally get where you're coming from with your concerns about your mom's health and your reservations about this job. I can see why you'd want to persuade her to quit.

I just took a quick peek at the host's replies to other respondents.

Mom is in this situation because she has to support her family financially, and also because she cares about her uncle and his family.

It's really a matter of values. Mom cares about what happened at her brother's house and takes responsibility for her own actions by working to support her family.

It can be really tough to change someone else's values, and it's also tricky to change your own kids, let alone your parents!

I'm sure you'll agree that the host shouldn't just fold his arms and do nothing. From what he's said, I can also sense his concern for his mother and worry that persuading her to quit her job might hurt her self-esteem. This shows he's a kind-hearted person. And I can relate to feeling unable to do what I want, especially when I'm not yet graduated!

If you want your mom to stop working, the best thing you can do is try to earn enough to support your family. Maybe if you're able to do that, she'll stop too!

Now that the landlord thinks persuasion is likely to fail, the landlord can give it a try, whether it fails or succeeds.

With a kind and gentle approach, not with a dismissive or threatening tone.

You could try saying something like this:

Even though I don't have a job yet, I really don't want my mom to work so hard. I'd love for her to be able to give up this job first.

And after I graduate in the future, I will definitely work hard to earn money and take care of you, my dearest mother.

I'm really sorry about what happened at your uncle's house. I know it was tough on your mom, and I'm here for her. I just want to say that I don't want her to suffer because of your uncle.

He may be your younger brother, but you're my mom, and I love you more than anyone else. My uncle also loves you. I know it's tough, but I'm sure you can find it in your heart to forgive and move on.

I know it's tough right now, but I'm more than happy to work hard and study hard at the same time. I'd love to be able to contribute to the family in any way I can!

I'm studying so that I can be a better daughter to you in the future. Surely that's what you want? I'd really love to be able to support you and your son financially, but I just don't think that's the right thing to do right now.

If I can't persuade her, I'll accept my mother's choice.

I guess she just thinks she has no other choice but to take this job.

It's a matter of values, and we can't change it, but that's okay!

And then, when you get married in the future, you'll be saying things that are actually your mother's own life!

But if you meet the true love of your life, none of this will be a problem!

I'm sending you lots of warm June love! I love you, world!

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, and I'm here to listen to you with warmth and sincerity. My name is Fei Yun, and I'm your coach.

I totally get it. This whole thing has really knocked you for a loop. When you found out that your mom was ashamed of her work and that it was even frowned upon by society, I can imagine it must have felt pretty devastating.

It's totally understandable to feel sad and upset about your mother's choices. It's natural to feel ashamed and disgraced by what she did. It's also normal to feel ashamed that you couldn't help your mother escape. It's okay to feel worried and afraid that the people around you, especially your teachers, classmates, and friends, will find out about your mother's occupation. It's a big deal to worry about your personal reputation and future.

It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed by all these complex emotions. It's hard to accept the situation and put your mind at ease when you're feeling this way.

Let's give you a warm hug and take a look at this problem that's troubling you, my friend.

?1. Mom's Choice

All of these feelings come from how you see your mom's work. It's totally normal to feel this way!

Everyone sees things differently, based on their own outlook on life, values, and feelings. This is judgment. Having a judgment represents a certain direction of guidance. For example, something that the public cannot accept is most likely defined by us as unreasonable.

Similarly, having judgments also produces fixed obsessions (or prejudices), which can damage relationships and make things rigid. It's so easy to get caught up in our limited beliefs, which prevent us from seeing the truth of more problems.

It doesn't matter what choices you make or what career you choose, this is something your mom will always be involved in. Her marriage, her emotional state, etc. are none of your business, sweetheart.

It's important to remember that your mother is a person, too, and that her actions don't define who she is.

It might help to look at her choices from her perspective. We all make choices based on our outlook on life and values. And it's possible that your mother is facing some challenges or has her own reasons for doing what she's doing.

There's a difference between right and wrong behavior, but the motives behind it are always good. Find the right time to talk to your mom and ask her about her upbringing and how she felt with your dad.

I really hope this book, "The Power of Self-Healing through Writing," will be helpful to you. It teaches us how to understand our parents, our loved ones, and our children.

Looking at things from different points of view will help you understand the truth of the matter more clearly, which will give you more options.

2. Your emotions

It's totally normal to feel a range of emotions when it comes to your mom's job and actions. On one hand, you love and respect her, and on the other, you might have some concerns. It's okay to have a mix of feelings! Every child has a special bond with their mom, and your feelings are valid.

But the reality is that your mother has done things that you cannot accept, and this has really hurt your feelings. It's natural to have this kind of reaction, especially when it goes against the image you have of your mother.

Mothers are also individuals first and mothers second. It's totally okay to accept that your parents aren't perfect. In fact, doing so can help you let go of your inner doubts, denials, and rejections.

On the other hand, it's also because you haven't yet achieved psychological separation from your parents.

Our physical separation from our mothers is achieved by cutting the umbilical cord. But our psychological separation is a different story! It requires you to assert your independence and autonomy, to be your own significant other, and to provide yourself with the psychological nourishment you need to grow up healthy in body and mind.

When we were young, our parents were our everything. They gave us unconditional acceptance, a sense of security, and so much more. They helped us learn to love, to connect with others, to be secure, independent, and to know our worth.

Now, in your third year of university, you are an adult with your own life issues. It's time to achieve a psychological separation from your parents and take responsibility for your own life.

I know it can be tough, but try to remember that despite what has happened, it must have had a certain psychological impact on you. It would be great if your mother could accept your good advice, but if she can't, just show her respect. After all, she is responsible for her own life, and the world of adults is full of temptations and also a lot of helplessness.

You've got this! These things shouldn't affect your confidence in yourself. A confident person is full of confidence in themselves as a person, and they are also full of confidence in the future.

You should never doubt or deny yourself because of what you've done or haven't done. And don't forget what others have done, too.

I really hope this helps you, and I just want to say that I love you and the world loves you too! ??

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click 'Find a coach' in the top right or bottom corner. I'd love to keep in touch and see how we can support each other!

Hello!

I can tell that there's a lot of pain in your story, but there's nothing dishonorable about it. As I read the other respondents' answers, I was also inspired.

I also think of Wei Xiaobao's mother in "Royal Tramp" and Lu Yiping in "Deeply in Love" (she was a singer but was looked down upon and humiliated by her family). One is playful and angry, the other is resilient.

Wei Xiaobao is a character who is adrift in a complex society.

Wei Xiaobao is different from the great heroes in Jin Yong's works, such as Qiao Feng and Guo Jing. He's a guy who can survive comfortably in the bureaucratic system. I admire his mother's strength in giving her son the strength to be a person under limited conditions.

I think it's pretty powerful to live your life without making any compromises.

There's no doubt about it when it comes to saving and helping people.

The word "persuade" implies a negative. Mom shouldn't be tortured anymore; she needs to rest.

Your thoughts are to care for and love her, but first you need to truly understand her. This will help you untangle the knots in your relationship.

The person asking the question is also feeling a lot of pressure and needs to let it out.

It's also a good idea to find a way to talk about it that's not so emotionally charged. Keep your eyes on the prize and complete your studies with a self-appreciative attitude. You'll be amazed at what you can achieve.

It seems like the questioner wants to repay his mother, but it's important to take your time. The challenges we face in life are there to help us realize that despite the vanity of people's feelings for each other, "I have invisible wings." This is about the two lives you and your mother have led together, the joint unremitting efforts of the past, and the new lives you'll lead in the future.

It is recommended that forgiveness and counsel be extended.

First and foremost, it is imperative not to ascribe blame to one's mother. Each individual's vocational choice is a personal decision, and although this particular profession may be perceived as dishonorable, it was ultimately her decision, made after meticulous deliberation.

It is imperative to recognize that maternal love is a pure and unassailable force. It is therefore imperative to avoid belittling or trampling on this love, even if one's own actions may have caused distress. It is crucial to acknowledge that mothers may have their own reasons for making the choices they do, and that their children are adults who can and should understand their perspectives.

It is possible to discuss certain issues openly and honestly. Firstly, it is important to understand why she chose this career path, whether she has experienced emotional distress or is compelled to do so by necessity.

Conversely, it is imperative to demonstrate to her that you are an exemplary individual, capable of providing her with a sense of security and fulfillment in the future, and that she can envision a promising future with you.

One might begin by presenting these two points and attempting to persuade the subject to alter their career path. It would be prudent to first describe the potential physical dangers associated with this profession, and then to elaborate on the psychological harm that could result from pursuing it.

It is human nature to seek out work that is not detrimental to our health and wellbeing, even if it entails certain challenges. We tend to prioritize a sense of security and stability over other factors.

However, it is imperative to refrain from asserting that she has brought you shame. As previously stated, maternal love is unadulterated, and it is not within your purview to level accusations at your parents.

Love is the solution to all problems.

It is recommended that the subject demonstrate increased affection towards the mother, allocate more time to her during periods of leisure, embark on joint excursions, maintain regular communication, recount experiences from school, convey a sense of acceptance and comprehension, and reassure her of unwavering support in all circumstances.

Subsequently, it is imperative to pursue rigorous academic studies. Upon attaining the requisite proficiency, one can reasonably expect that one's mother will be moved and proud of one's achievements, which may ultimately prompt her to implement changes.

In conclusion, it is imperative to refrain from accusing or complaining, and instead, engage in open communication with the aim of fostering mutual understanding and resolving issues with compassion and unconditional love.

May blessings be upon you and your mother!