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I am sensitive, he is innocent, and I don't know whether I should continue my feelings?

sensitivity simple real self rejection communication issues
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I am sensitive, he is innocent, and I don't know whether I should continue my feelings? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I am sensitive, he is simple. We started out with him treating me very well, and I could feel it. One day I asked him about it, and he said yes. I told him not to like me, because that is not necessarily the real me, and that if you get to know the real me,

You won't like me anymore. But he said he wouldn't, but I still rejected him. He was sad and his whole person fell apart. Then because of some things we started, slowly, I liked him more and more, I would fight with others for him, I would defend him, I would surprise him, but I also started to worry about losing him. I found that every time I got angry, it seemed like he wouldn't immediately comfort me. When I was wronged, he would just say, "Don't be sad, I don't feel secure, I feel hurt. Sometimes we communicate about these things, but he is silent every time, and occasionally I cry, and then he will say something, but only a few words. I never know what he is thinking, and I always feel like I am pushing him.

Recently, we went to his house, and his parents were particularly cold towards me. I felt aggrieved. I asked him to ask his parents for their opinion, but he said they would not agree. I asked him how he had asked, and he said he had just said that it was my opinion that I wanted to ask. His parents said I was a bad person and that we were not suitable for each other. He did not argue with them. I want him to convince his parents, but he has not done so yet. I do not know if it is because we do not love each other enough, or if it is just because he is reluctant to feel loved.

Harold Harold A total of 9999 people have been helped

The questioner displays a remarkable aptitude for interpreting the behaviors and motivations of others.

Dr. Clayton of the United States offers the following insight:

The most significant insight I have gained is that each individual possesses a unique emotional reality. Everyone experiences and perceives the world in a distinctive manner. Each person's sexual experiences, upbringing, religious beliefs, cultural and social backgrounds are distinct. Additionally, everyone's beliefs, values and life experiences vary.

This also implies that even when two individuals encounter the same situation, their emotional responses may differ.

It is insufficient to rely on love alone to overcome all differences.

The essence of love is built on needs. A relationship between two people requires a substantial degree of support in addition to love in order to flourish.

Therefore, either the other person is not fulfilling your needs in the manner you desire, or you are no longer in love. It is important to recognize that different individuals may have disparate feelings about the same situation. It is not uncommon for individuals in romantic relationships to have expectations that their partner will share their views and attitudes about the things they want and ask them to do. If their partner does not meet these expectations, it can lead to feelings of disappointment and a sense that the other person no longer loves them.

This perception will induce feelings of anxiety and restlessness, and it will cause people to feel alienated from themselves. Therefore, the only way to resolve conflicts caused by these differences is to learn to recognize the differences in each other's concepts and perceptions.

Simplicity and simplicity are two distinct concepts. In general, individuals who are thriving in life tend to embrace simplicity, whether in their material or spiritual pursuits. Some individuals may express a desire to live simply at all times. While this may appear innocuous on the surface, it can indicate a lack of strength, a tendency to avoid reality, and an inability to persuade their parents. This aspect should be discernible in one's interactions.

Human nature is to seek benefits and avoid harm. Only when one perceives that one's interests are being taken seriously or that there is a potential for a mutually beneficial outcome will one be willing to engage in constructive dialogue. His reluctance to do so indicates that the strength of your current relationship is insufficient to motivate him to take action.

It is unclear whether you are anxious to get married or if you are concerned that you may not meet a more suitable partner in the future. If this is not the case, it would be prudent to avoid hasty decisions. It is important to recognise that your partner may not be able to provide you with the level of security you desire. It may be challenging for you to move on from your current situation. It is possible to continue dating and to develop and grow within the relationship.

By transforming one's weaknesses into strengths, one can facilitate the other's self-growth, thereby enabling mutual growth in the relationship, fostering the ability to confront reality, and assuming the role of a man.

If one is experiencing distress in a relationship and perceives it to be a persistent source of depletion, it may be beneficial to gradually disengage. A healthy relationship is characterized by a sense of ease and mutual support, facilitating personal growth and development.

Every personality has two sides. While one may identify shortcomings, it is also important to recognize the strengths that may exist behind these perceived weaknesses. For instance, an individual may be reluctant to disclose their perceived weaknesses to another person because they fear being abandoned after providing something of value.

Individuals who are highly sensitive may experience a plethora of internal emotional turmoil, intense physical discomfort, and a tendency to become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information they process. This can make them challenging for others to understand.

Those who are sensitive possess a notable capacity for observation, comprehension, and emotional responsiveness. Additionally, they often exhibit a high level of empathy.

Each individual possesses a sensitive side; it is imperative not to reject this aspect of oneself. Rather, one must accept one's shortcomings, be aware of the areas where one is suffering, and then endeavor to alter the "framework." It is essential to comprehend one's own self-evaluation, as this shapes one's identity. For instance, an individual may perceive themselves as "a person with a very bad character who is not easy to get along with," "a very stupid person," or "a person undeserving of happiness." Alternatively, one may prioritize the opinions of others, leading to a skewed self-perception. To rectify this, one can employ positive and optimistic self-suggestion. This entails affirming one's inherent goodness, asserting that one deserves love and is capable of loving others, and recognizing that one can become a better person through dedication and effort. Psychologists have validated this phenomenon through the Pygmalion effect, which demonstrates that modifying one's thoughts and beliefs can influence others' behaviors.

The attachment patterns formed with caregivers during early childhood also influence subsequent interpersonal behavior. It is challenging for individuals to deviate from the behavioral patterns established during this developmental period.

Consequently, personality development is inextricably linked to early family upbringing.

As the adage states, "It is challenging to alter one's fundamental character." Personality is not a phenomenon that is suddenly and easily transformed. It is a complex process that requires a positive outlook and sustained patience. This process enables individuals to alter their attitudes and thought patterns. Sensitivity is an inherent aspect of human nature. When individuals are compatible and able to coexist, it can foster a more constructive and positive dynamic.

I extend my sincerest congratulations. Despite the unfortunate circumstances that prevail in our lives, I am optimistic that we will be treated with respect and consideration.

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Juliet Juliet A total of 6001 people have been helped

It's totally normal to feel picked on when you're falling in love. You might start to see your own sensitivity and some of your own unwillingness and painful emotions. The other person is really nice to you, but you tell him not to like you. It's possible there's some real inferiority complex going on here.

It's totally normal to feel like you don't measure up sometimes. It's like you're blocking the other person's affection because you think it'll make the situation better. At first, you might refuse, but then you start to like him and you're able to do things for him, which makes you feel like you've given a lot too.

And it's starting to show in your behavior. It seems like the other person isn't doing much to make you happy, which can make you feel insecure. And from what I can tell, his parents aren't the warmest people, and it's clear they're not happy about you being there.

It can be really tough when people don't approve of your choices. It seems like his parents don't like you, and he doesn't argue with them. It might be that he agrees with some of the reasons for their disapproval, or with some of your guesses. It can feel like the other person or the two of you don't really love each other that much, but I'm sure there's a good reason why.

If you don't love each other very much, you may become indifferent to the relationship. It seems to be fine with or without it, or both sides feel some pain and limitations about themselves, and there are a lot of complaints. Too many complaints will eventually lead to a relationship crisis. I really think you should talk about it with someone, and think carefully about whether you really like this guy. I'm rooting for you!

ZQ?

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Bradford Xavier Kirkland Bradford Xavier Kirkland A total of 1334 people have been helped

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first!

From your description, I can feel your inner confidence, acceptance of yourself, and sense of worthiness in this relationship growing!

It doesn't matter whether you initially choose to reject him when you feel his kindness towards you, or whether you cater to him and give him empty-hearted devotion when you are together. And it doesn't matter whether you worry about whether he is considerate enough to love you, or whether you force him to prove his love for you. All of this stems from your inner lack of self-confidence, your lack of acceptance of yourself, and your low self-worth. But you can change all of that!

In an intimate relationship, it may seem like a relationship between two people, but it is actually a relationship between one person and their inner self. This is a wonderful thing! It means that you have the power to create a harmonious and happy intimate relationship. All you have to do is first deal with the relationship with your inner self.

Embrace your true self, boost your self-confidence, and celebrate your worth!

You can see both your shortcomings and your strengths! You can even try to learn to accept yourself better by making a list of your strengths.

There are so many ways to boost your confidence and feel great about yourself! One of my favorites is keeping a gratitude journal. It's amazing how much it can improve your mood and sense of self-worth. And don't forget about the mirror exercise — it's a simple yet powerful way to feel more confident. Try it out and see the amazing results!

Fill your life with as many interests and passions as you can! Make it full and rich!

When you can try to accept and like yourself from the inside out, amazing things happen! You'll no longer worry about whether others like you. You'll no longer be anxious, and you'll stop trying to control others. You'll be free to be true to yourself in relationships and express your needs. And you'll finally realize that your value does not need to be defined by others.

This is when true love happens! Love is about respect, seeing, accepting, and responding.

So, your sensitivity to his naivety is more of a defense against your inner lack of confidence. Should you continue? Are you suitable for being together? Absolutely! You need love, and this love requires you to first fall in love with yourself. Come on!

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!

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Samuel David Turner Samuel David Turner A total of 8085 people have been helped

Greetings.

Best regards,

Everyone has the right to be loved, and there is no justification for feelings of inferiority based on personality traits. Each individual possesses a unique personality, and it is precisely because of this that the fundamental need for acceptance is a universal one.

One might inquire as to the typicality of this relationship.

The female subject displays a high degree of emotional sensitivity.

The boy's demeanor can be described as simply indifferent.

The experience of being in love is inherently joyful, as it entails a sense of acceptance, visibility, and value. It is possible to love not only the individual but also their family. Consequently, it is pertinent to inquire whether individuals with markedly disparate personalities can love each other.

The answer is not an absolute one. The key point remains with the people involved, as loving each other is a matter of the two people involved, namely, whether the person in love knows how to manage love and give of themselves for it. In the relationship between the questioner and her boyfriend, neither party realizes the importance of how to treat love and manage it.

The initial problem is that the girl is sensitive, while the boy displays indifference.

Problem 2: Upon seeking counsel from their parents, the boy displays a lack of interest or engagement.

As the relationship progresses, the girl's sensitive nature becomes increasingly evident, while the boy's single-mindedness and thoughtlessness also come to the fore. The initial passion gradually cools, and what is revealed is more of a conflict between the two individuals' differing personalities. Due to the incompatibility of their personalities, problems have also arisen in their interactions with their parents. As a result of these negative feelings, the sadness and unhappiness associated with being in love outweigh the positive feelings.

It is evident that neither party is prepared to become the other's emotional counterpart due to the presence of underlying issues. When challenges emerge, neither individual is able to address the other's genuine inner needs, leading to a further exacerbation of the problem. This can be attributed to either the boy's initial lack of social refinement or the girl's inferiority complex and sensitivity.

What is the optimal approach to managing a relationship?

The primary concern of the questioner is the potential for personality conflict. However, she has overlooked the necessity for both individuals in a relationship to continuously learn and evolve. The most significant challenge in a relationship is the inability of both parties to recognize and address the needs of the other.

[It is essential to develop effective communication skills and enhance one's self-confidence.]

Individuals with high levels of emotional sensitivity possess a robust capacity for empathy. However, this same quality can also render them susceptible to emotional turbulence. In the context of a relationship, this can manifest as difficulty in communicating one's needs and feelings directly to one's partner. When faced with a partner who is straightforward and direct, individuals with high emotional sensitivity may initially feel overwhelmed. This can result in a tendency to avoid expressing their feelings, which can, in turn, lead to misunderstandings and conflict. In order to navigate these challenges, it is essential to understand the true intentions behind one's partner's actions. Silence, for instance, may indicate a lack of knowledge about how to comfort oneself, or it may reflect a genuine disregard for one's feelings.

One can avoid being constrained by personal issues and enhance one's capacity to comprehend the problem at hand by experiencing an emotion with genuine assurance.

[Relationships have their own stages, therefore it is essential to maintain an objective perspective.]

In the question, the questioner perceives a decline in her boyfriend's emotional warmth and level of care and consideration. This leads her to conclude that her boyfriend's level of passion has diminished. It is essential to determine whether this shift in behavior is due to a lack of deep love or a natural transition into the trial period of a relationship.

Typically, the initial period of a relationship, often referred to as the "honeymoon phase," can last between one and six months. Following the conclusion of this phase, the relationship will typically enter a period of adjustment, which can be conceptualized as a process of personality alignment. This period is often challenging, but it is also a crucial stage for fostering mutual understanding and intimacy. After this adjustment period, the relationship will often enter a stable phase, characterized by a deeper level of commitment and mutual understanding. The nature of love is dynamic and evolving. Given the numerous demands and competing priorities in life, it is often not feasible to maintain a constant and exclusive focus on the other person.

The inquirer can evaluate the boyfriend's distracting behavior in an objective manner. If he is sincere and capable, as a "qualified" girlfriend, she should refrain from being overly sensitive and consider her boyfriend's perspective, being mindful of his difficulties. Conversely, if her boyfriend is deliberately ignoring her, she may wish to consider terminating the relationship, as a boy who is simply sincere is appealing, while a boy who is simply insincere is not a worthwhile partner.

[It is advisable to avoid exacerbating existing disagreements; instead, it is more beneficial to focus on maintaining a positive and genuine self-image.]

From initial concerns to the fervor of the relationship, and then gradually to challenges and the inquirer's mounting unease, it is highly inadvisable to request that one's romantic partner take you to meet their parents without a well-defined plan to address these issues. Due to the imbalance in the intimate relationship, it is unlikely to be perceived as smoothly by the elders who have been through it, let alone leave a favorable impression on the other party. However, it is also possible that the inquirer will receive harsh treatment despite their exemplary performance, which may initially reveal the potential challenges that marriage may bring to the parents' side. The boyfriend's simple and unopinionated personality is likely to be a result of overly dominant parents.

It is recommended that the subject in a relationship first set aside their concerns and worries. If they have issues, they should first focus on the relationship between the two people in love by expressing their feelings and thoughts in an appropriate manner. Once the core issues between the two parties have been resolved, the topic of meeting the parents can then be addressed.

It is recommended that you remain calm.

I wish you the best of luck and extend my sincerest wishes for your success.

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Wyatt Castro Wyatt Castro A total of 2865 people have been helped

Good morning,

Dear Host, Thank you for your interest in our services. I have carefully read the post and I can sense the anxiety and confusion the author is experiencing. I am Zeng Chen, a psychological coach at

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a psychological coach at One Mind. I have carefully read the post and can discern the anxiety and confusion that the author is experiencing.

Furthermore, the poster has demonstrated courage in expressing her distress and seeking assistance on the platform. This will undoubtedly assist her in gaining a deeper understanding of herself and the nature of the relationship, enabling her to make necessary adjustments.

I will now share my observations and thoughts from the post, which may assist the poster in viewing the current situation from a different perspective.

1. It would be prudent to consider your ability to face the current situation.

From the information provided in the post, it is evident that the individual in question is experiencing confusion and anxiety regarding their relationship. It is also possible to empathise with the complex emotions they are going through.

I believe that, were I in your position, I would have a similar outlook. At the same time, we can discuss potential next steps for your future.

From the information provided in the original post, it appears that the individual in question is unable to receive adequate comfort from their partner when they are distressed. This raises the question of whether it is possible to continue the relationship in its current state.

If this is not a viable option, it would be prudent to consider alternative solutions and assess their feasibility. These are matters that the poster can address.

It has been observed that when your boyfriend's parents are dissatisfied with you, he does not appear to take any action. At this juncture, it would be prudent to inquire of him his thoughts on the matter.

You should inquire as to why you did not express your attitude to your parents. This is something you need to ask yourself.

It is important to ascertain your boyfriend's perspective on this matter.

This is related to how he will handle conflicts between you and his mother-in-law if you get married. Taking all these factors into consideration, you can assess your ability to handle these situations, your willingness to accept that your boyfriend may not be able to provide comfort and understanding, and your capacity to accept his behavior when faced with conflicts between you and his mother-in-law.

It is essential to consider these factors, as they may impact your quality of life and happiness after the union.

2. Consider the type of intimate relationship you desire.

The original poster indicated that she is highly sensitive, while her boyfriend is quite straightforward. Subsequently, due to certain circumstances, you became romantically involved.

As your affinity for him grows, you may wish to consider the factors that initially attracted you to him.

Please describe the qualities you find appealing in this individual. Why do you find them appealing?

Please evaluate whether the relationship you currently have with him aligns with your desired level of intimacy.

It is essential to consider these factors and conduct further research. Only when we have a clear understanding of our objectives can we make informed decisions about what to prioritize and what to forego.

It is essential to identify our core needs, as it is not feasible for anyone to meet all of them. It is crucial to understand what we want, while also recognizing that we cannot have everything.

It is therefore crucial to address our fundamental needs at this juncture. For further insight on this topic, we recommend the book "I Knew Before Marriage," which provides valuable guidance on key issues to address before marriage.

3. Determine the root cause of your sensitivity.

The original poster indicated in their post that they are highly sensitive and experience a sense of unworthiness. Do you believe that others will not accept the genuine you?

However, individuals who are frequently sensitive may encounter challenges in their relationships. For instance, they may be concerned about whether the other person dislikes or disapproves of them, and may experience anxiety when the other person does not respond promptly when they are not available.

Furthermore, the need for the other party to provide proof of their affection, etc.

Such factors can impede the development of healthy relationships. The original poster should therefore identify the root causes of their sensitivity and unworthiness.

It would be beneficial to evaluate your own growth experience from an adult perspective. Consider whether your nurturers, your education, and the cultural evaluation of you are reasonable and objective. These factors can assist you in better understanding and recognizing yourself, facilitating personal growth, and overcoming any sensitivities you may have.

4. Accept yourself for who you are.

The reason we feel sensitive and undeserving is often because we don't like and accept our true selves. Because we don't like ourselves, we assume that others don't like our true selves either, which causes us to become afraid of losing others' approval.

The host should endeavor to accept their true self.

Acceptance is the first step towards improvement. Regardless of the decision made, self-acceptance and personal growth are essential. The more we accept ourselves, the greater the benefits will be.

How can you accept your true self? It is to allow yourself to be realistic, to accept the positive aspects of your personality, and also accept the negative aspects of your personality.

It is important to accept the part of yourself that you cannot change and focus your time and energy on the part that you can adjust. This will help you to develop a more positive self-image and increase your confidence. The key to success is to integrate your positive and negative qualities.

I hope these suggestions will be helpful and inspiring to the original poster. It should be noted, however, that the poster cannot change simply by reading an answer.

It is important to allow yourself time and space to learn and grow. If you have any questions or require further communication, you can click on Find a Coach to engage in one-on-one interaction and facilitate mutual growth.

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Theodore Isaac Hayes-Lewis Theodore Isaac Hayes-Lewis A total of 8121 people have been helped

Hello! I see that you mentioned that your boyfriend initially liked you first, which is a great start.

However, as your relationship has progressed, you've given more and your partner seems less proactive, which makes you feel uncertain and insecure. The transformation during this period has caused some imbalance in your heart because after getting along, the man has not shown the actions and firmness that you deserve.

We all know that love requires learning to love others, but the first step is learning to love ourselves. From what you've said, I can see that although you have good personal qualities, you have a deep sense of inferiority, are sensitive, not confident, and don't like yourself. You said, "I told him not to like me, because that's not necessarily the real me, and if you get to know the real me,

This is also what we often call a low sense of self-worth.

This kind of awareness will put you at a disadvantage or in a lower position in your relationship. It'll also make the other person think they're in a higher position.

In a relationship, it's important to find a balance. If there's an imbalance in material, intellectual, or emotional terms, it can make it harder to maintain a long-lasting relationship. In your relationship, it's good to focus on your own growth. When you do, you'll have more opportunities and be better able to manage the relationship.

I hope this helps. All the best!

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Comments

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Lucian Miller The ability to turn failure into success is a skill that separates the winners from the losers.

I can see how complex and layered your feelings are. It sounds like you've grown to care for him deeply, but it's tough when his reactions don't match the depth of your emotions. It must be really hard to deal with the uncertainty and not knowing where you stand with him or his family.

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Jenna Anderson Growth is a combination of learning, experience, and self - reflection.

It seems like you're pouring a lot of effort into this relationship, fighting for him and defending him, yet you're facing so many challenges from his silence to his parents' disapproval. I wonder if he realizes just how much you're struggling and what that means for both of you moving forward.

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Beckett Davis Forgiveness is a way to let go of the negative energy that has been weighing us down.

Your concerns about his parents' attitude towards you are valid. Having the support of a partner's family can make such a difference in a relationship. It's disheartening that he didn't stand up for you or try to change their minds. Maybe there's more going on within his family dynamic that we don't fully understand.

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Darian Thomas Forgiveness is a way to make our lives more meaningful and fulfilling.

The fact that you're feeling insecure and hurt is completely understandable given the circumstances. Communication has always been key in relationships, and it seems like there's a gap there that needs to be bridged. You deserve someone who will listen and respond to your needs and worries.

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Yara Miller The essence of diligence is to keep going when others stop.

This situation must be incredibly difficult for you, especially as you seem to have invested so much emotionally. It's important to consider what you want from this relationship and whether it's leading to a place where you feel valued and loved. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things may not work out the way we hoped.

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