I broke up with my girlfriend, but I am really sad, and I am falling into self-doubt?

Dear Questioner, I understand that you are experiencing a complex emotional state, characterized by feelings of guilt and nostalgia for your former romantic partner, as well as doubt and confusion about your own identity. In such circumstances, I recommend that you engage in a process of reflection and emotional regulation, allowing yourself to sort out your thoughts and feelings, and then consider how to act.

Firstly, it is essential to acknowledge the reality of the relationship's conclusion and recognise the pre-existing issues that may have contributed to its dissolution. It is crucial to undertake a thorough examination of these issues and to identify strategies for preventing a recurrence.

Additionally, it is important to acknowledge the reality that your girlfriend may have lost her feelings for you. Attempting to force or win her back may lead to further distress and confusion.

Secondly, it is imperative to allow oneself sufficient time to process and cope with the emotional distress that may arise. Engaging in relaxing activities, such as exercise, listening to music, or watching movies, can effectively alleviate emotional stress.

It is also recommended that the individual seek the assistance of a counselor or trusted friend to discuss their feelings and obtain guidance and support.

Ultimately, it is essential to engage in a process of reflection on one's future and overall life trajectory. This entails identifying one's own direction and goals and then committing to a course of action that will enable them to be achieved.

During this process, one can learn new skills, expand one's social circle, and engage in new experiences, thereby enriching one's life and expanding one's horizons. Concurrently, it is essential to maintain a positive attitude and confidence, with the understanding that one can overcome adversity and meet future challenges.

In regard to the matter of waiting, it is recommended that you allow yourself a period of time to process your emotions and reflect on the matter before making a decision regarding whether or not to continue waiting. Should you come to the conclusion that waiting is no longer a meaningful course of action for you or that it will only result in further distress, you may wish to consider letting go of the past, focusing on the future, and exploring new opportunities and possibilities.

Regardless of the decision ultimately reached, it is imperative to respect one's own feelings and needs while simultaneously assuming responsibility for one's own actions.

From your description, it's clear that you need to be taken care of but are being neglected, which is causing you anxiety. You're constantly looking for reasons to be abandoned and are afraid of being loved, which has led to an ambivalent attachment. You've realized that the other person is not suitable for you and are unable to identify who is actually at fault for the discomfort in the relationship. Hating the other person is just a way to validate your feelings of being unrecognized during the growth experience. It's a way to verify that you have always been unlovable and unlikable. Of course, you'll also find your own thoughts to be rash without being verified by the actual relationship, and you'll regret the results. Guilt will cause you to hurt others in order to validate your own feelings. This is a unique compensation strategy.

This strategy is a kind of compensation for the shame of not being loved when you are growing up without love and understanding. You use pleasing others to complete yourself. This makes your mistakes victims of yourself to maintain a sense of presence in the relationship. However, you will also know that others may not accept you using this kind of hot and cold feeling in the relationship to make friends.

It's true that your feelings make you difficult to deal with. We all like to see our own perfect and imperfect parts in relationships, and we look at others in the same way. Your thoughts can't identify this part of the relationship. If you hate someone, you should try to find three things you don't hate about them. Your thoughts probably won't hold up to this test.

You can handle interpersonal relationships. You just need to get over this. Find a counselor or listener on the platform to help you work through your feelings. You'll be able to see yourself more clearly and find the resources you need to complete your relationships and grow. It's okay. Every mistake is a gift. You've always tried your best to live a good life.

This growth you're experiencing will undoubtedly lead to further development and understanding.

Good day, my name is Jokerev. I empathize with your anguish and bewilderment. It appears that your emotional well-being has been abruptly and profoundly challenged.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience a similar range of emotional distress when confronted with emotional fluctuations. Your relationship underwent a transition from a state of mutual affection to a period of discord, ultimately culminating in a separation. Despite this, you continue to harbor a profound sense of attachment to her. This phenomenon represents a complex yet authentic aspect of emotional experience.

The assertion is made that the issue was circumvented, which can be viewed as a self-protective mechanism when confronted with challenges. However, this may also impede the potential for resolving the issue. Nevertheless, the situation is not irremediable; rather, it necessitates a process of healing and growth.

It is unfortunate to learn that she has already formed an attachment to another individual and has effectively blocked you, but it is also her prerogative. It is imperative to respect the emotional changes of others, even if the process is exceedingly painful for us.

One possible initial step is to accept the reality and the current state of the relationship, rather than attempting to force it to revert to a previous point in time.

The feelings of guilt are a consequence of introspection regarding past events, which is a beneficial process as it prompts reflection on how to improve future actions. Concurrently, it is essential to learn to disengage from these negative emotions, as ruminating on guilt does not alter the facts and hinders personal growth and development.

The sensation of unreality and self-doubt that you are currently experiencing is a result of your adjustment to a life pattern that is devoid of your usual reliance. It would be beneficial for you to strive towards independence, rediscover your true identity, cultivate new interests, expand your social circle, and infuse your life with a sense of purpose.

This will facilitate not only one's ability to endure this challenging period, but also to mature and stabilize one's future relationships.

If one truly believes that there is still hope, it would be advisable to set a deadline and work assiduously to improve oneself during this period. It is also important to understand that true waiting is not merely standing still, but rather moving forward with love. Should one wait until the deadline has passed and the other person still has not changed, it would be prudent to let go in a courageous manner. Ultimately, every experience in life, whether positive or negative, can become a valuable source of wisdom.

The passage of time is a beneficial agent for the healing of emotional trauma. During this process, it is important to cultivate greater self-compassion and patience. Additionally, it is crucial to maintain the belief that the future will bring a more suitable partner.

My dear friend, I can sense that your current emotional state is quite complex and painful. It is understandable that you are experiencing a range of intense feelings after a relationship that was once sweet but ultimately led to a breakup. It is common for people to experience a range of intense emotions, including pain and loss, as well as thoughts of their ex-partner and feelings of guilt, when they face emotional setbacks.

It is not uncommon to experience a certain degree of emotional turbulence following a breakup. It may take time to find a sense of calm. Your attachment style may influence how you experience and express your emotional needs in a relationship.

It's important to remember that just because you're attached to someone doesn't mean you can't be independent. It simply means that you've invested a lot of emotion in the relationship.

Your situation brings to mind psychologist Stenberg's love triangle theory, which suggests that love is comprised of three fundamental elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Initially, you may have bonded rapidly due to a shared passion and intimacy. However, over time, a lack of deeper understanding and commitment may have led to some challenges.

The "dependence" you mentioned could be seen as an attachment style in psychology, which refers to the degree to which an individual is emotionally dependent on others. Attachment theory suggests that early patterns of interaction with caregivers can influence an individual's attachment style, which in turn affects adult relationships.

You mentioned that your relationship with your girlfriend has undergone a change, from a sweet dynamic to one that is more conflict-ridden. This is a common occurrence in relationships. Disagreements and conflicts are a normal part of any relationship. The key is how we navigate these challenges.

It's possible that avoiding the problem may temporarily relieve tension, but it might also lead to the accumulation of problems and the breakdown of the relationship. After you proposed to break up, you realized your feelings for her, but unfortunately, she may have already been hurt by your avoidance, which led to her current attitude.

It's understandable that you might feel uncertain about whether there's still a chance for you two or whether you should continue waiting. This uncertainty can naturally lead to feelings of anxiety and unease.

It is understandable to feel this way, but it is possible that waiting may not bring the result you want. You may find it helpful to work through your emotions after the breakup and to explore your own attachment style.

It might be helpful to accept that the relationship has come to an end and to allow yourself to experience the loss and sadness that this brings. This can be an important step towards recovery and growth.

It might be helpful to let go of the relationship and give yourself time and space to heal and learn how to be independent and grow out of your dependency.

You might find it helpful to explore your attachment style and learn how to build healthier self-reliance through self-reflection and possibly psychological counseling. The book "Attachment and Intimacy" provides an in-depth analysis of attachment styles and intimate relationships that you might find beneficial.

Regarding the "waiting" you mentioned, while waiting may bring hope, it may also leave you in uncertainty and anxiety. You might consider setting a time limit within which you can focus on your growth and the development of your interests.

You might consider trying new activities, such as joining a hobby group, exercising, or learning a new skill. These could potentially help you rebuild your self-confidence and find a new focus in life.

If your ex-girlfriend has made her feelings clear, it would be wise to respect her decision and set your own boundaries to avoid further hurt. Although it may be hard for you to imagine now, there will always be a new beginning in the future.

It would be beneficial to keep an open mind and be willing to accept new people and experiences. It is important to remember that everyone experiences the pain of a broken heart, but that does not mean you are not worthy of love or unable to find happiness again.

Your feelings are valid, and your experiences are valuable. They have shaped you today and will guide you into the future.

It is important to remember that you are worthy of love and happiness, and that you have the strength to face your feelings and ask for help when you need it. By giving yourself time, you will gradually emerge from this challenging period and find a new direction in life.

It is important to remember that your feelings matter, as do your personal growth and development. It is natural to experience a range of emotions in the face of significant life changes. However, it is crucial to maintain hope and to recognise that there are endless possibilities and opportunities awaiting you in the future.

Hello, questioner!

From your description, I can feel your inner confusion and helplessness. At the same time, you have a very good ability to perceive, to perceive this uncomfortable feeling, and to face it bravely. That's great!

You and your girlfriend were in the same class, and it was quite sweet at first. Later, due to some problems, you took the initiative to break up with her. She came to you, but you refused. However, later you found that you still quite liked her when you saw her, and wanted to pursue her. But she blocked you, which made you feel very uncomfortable and self-doubt. You are a little overwhelmed, but you'll get through this!

From your description, I can already tell that you have a great sense of awareness and are also aware of your feelings for Niu. It's just that your past rejection of your girlfriend caused her a lot of pain, so now that she's here, we're helping you to heal that pain.

All our problems are our resources! We are experts at solving our own problems. When you are confused and sick, you are already on the path to change when you come here.

From your description, I can tell you're not in the best place right now. I've got some great advice that I think will really help you!

First of all, I really hope you can become more aware of or clarify your true feelings and needs. If you keep avoiding the problem, what exactly is this avoidance of the problem? What is the need behind your avoidance of the problem? In this way, it can also give you some help, so that you can establish a relationship of trust, speak of your own problems, and truly have the courage to face them. You can also bravely talk to your friends about it!

For you guys in an adolescent relationship, it's totally normal to feel confused. Hormones can play a part, as can the fact that you might not know if you love him yet. Whatever the reason, the good news is that you can work through it! The first step is to express your feelings to him. Don't hold back! You can write to him, or find a friend to help you convey your true feelings. When you truly express your feelings, if he really likes you, he'll be touched.

Then, although intimacy is important, it is more important to be ourselves. We should adjust our state of mind and let time heal us. We must learn to let go, but actually letting go is not about letting ourselves off the hook, so that we can get out of this uncomfortable emotional state. I

Finally, if the other person still has feelings for you, you can express them sincerely and pursue them! If the other person really doesn't have any feelings, then all we can do is face the situation and adjust ourselves. We can do this by exercising, snowballing, or going on a trip to do something we like to distract ourselves and get out of this uncomfortable feeling. Time will tell!

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

I'm glad you've reached out for help. I'm here to support you. I can see how breaking up with your girlfriend has affected you. You feel abandoned, unloved, aggrieved, lost, and frustrated.

From your description, it's clear you're aware of your own problems in your relationship with her. When faced with conflicts in your intimate relationship, you always respond with avoidance. This attitude of yours is a potential factor leading to the breakup of your intimate relationship. You're feeling aggrieved, lost, and frustrated, and you also feel some guilt and self-blame. What do you think?

You can relieve the guilt and self-blame you feel over the breakup by rationalizing your pattern of avoidance in intimate relationships through your girlfriend's dislike of you.

You must understand that although some immature ways of behaving in an intimate relationship may have caused the end of your relationship, relationships are the result of interactions. The end of a relationship must be the result of both of you not doing enough and lacking something. You can learn and grow better through the end of this relationship, improve your ability to love and be loved, and improve your ability to manage intimate relationships.

Stop being so hard on yourself, stop denying yourself, and stop making more internal attributions because of the end of the relationship. Use this ended relationship to better grow yourself. The growth it has brought you is far greater than the harm it has caused you. Learn to better manage intimate relationships through a bad intimate relationship. You will be able to meet someone who is truly right for you, nourish your intimate relationship, and make yourself happy.

Tell me what you have to say.

I am Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.

I'm not sure why you broke up, but I'd love to know more about the conflicts you had. It's great that you're aware of your own problems and feelings. It takes a lot of courage to be so self-aware.

When you're young and in school, it's bound to happen that you'll be immature and miss out on some people and things. So it's tough for most people to make it to the end with their first love, and it's bound to happen that they'll face a few setbacks. This may be the price of growth.

I get it. It's tough to suddenly lose someone you like. But time is the best healer. You've always tried to save yourself from trouble. With such valuable reflections, I believe that you will meet someone who is more compatible in the future and work together hand in hand.

It's only natural to feel pain after a breakup. There are a few ways you can try to get out of the pain:

One thing you can do is talk about the relationship with someone who gets it, but be aware of how you're feeling. If you find you're getting caught up in it, then it's probably best to stop. But if you're confused and want to analyze and summarize it, then it's okay to discuss it more.

Second, focus on other things, such as studying, future planning, hobbies, friendship development, filial piety, helping others, etc. Love isn't the be-all and end-all; it's more like the icing on the cake. It's healthier to have a balanced life.

Third, you can think back to the other person's behavior that you didn't like. This isn't about blaming anyone, but rather about the fact that after a breakup, people tend to think about how they were at fault and the other person was right. They forget that they also made a lot of efforts and the other person also caused a lot of harm. This is a filter that they have put on themselves, which makes it difficult for them to get out of their memories. So at this time, they should do the opposite – think more about the aspects of their behavior that they tried their best to improve, and think about the aspects of the other person's behavior that didn't match theirs. This isn't about shirking responsibility, but rather about balancing their own perception and avoiding feeling too sad.

After a breakup, people often doubt themselves and deny themselves because being rejected by someone you like is really painful. It feels like your whole being has been denied. But we must not fall into this trap. In fact, we have done our best in the relationship. It can be seen that you are definitely not a scumbag, otherwise you would not have tried so hard to reflect on yourself and feel so much pain. So I believe you have done your best. It is just inevitable that people will disagree. Love is like a pas de deux. You can't do it well by yourself.

When we lose love, it's always an opportunity for growth. It teaches us to respect other people's choices, to accept our own shortcomings but still love ourselves, and to focus on learning and growing from experience, rather than getting stuck in emotions.

Of course, you can also allow yourself to feel sad for a while, give yourself a hug, and know that you have just experienced one of the most painful things in the world and learned a very important lesson.

I believe that the growth and transformation of the self is to learn how to truly love others and to avoid or alleviate negative emotions.

To truly love others is to wish them happiness and to mentally accept, forgive, and forgive everyone, including the outstanding, the ordinary people, and even the weak. If there are mistakes or shortcomings, they can be corrected. Everyone has the right to happiness, regardless of the relationship, whether it is right or wrong, gain or loss. We all hope that others can be happy and improve. People can bring mutual comfort and joy to each other. It is beneficial to love and accept others and oneself, to tolerate shortcomings and lack of ability, and to be kind at heart. This means being beneficial to others or society, not disliking or rejecting ordinary people, and not being jealous or intolerant of outstanding people.

If you find it challenging to connect with others, it can lead to feelings of negativity and emotional difficulties. To truly love others and adapt to people and things, you may benefit from exploring ways to align your energy field, which could support you in finding and having a loving and suitable relationship and career. You can also share and exchange what you see, hear, think, feel, or are interested in, including books, movies, music, etc., with others in real life and on the Internet, such as the Douban community.

It may also be helpful to embrace love and contentment in your life, even in the little things.

It is worth noting that negative energy can affect your physical health. Maintaining a comfortable and healthy body can provide a form of full-body massage. The head massage includes the forehead and face, which also have meridians. One may consider massaging the head with deep, firm strokes, and massaging the stomach with a firm massage brush. It is advisable to avoid massaging the stomach on an empty stomach and then taking a walk.

If you have negative emotions, thoughts, or behaviors, you may not feel comfortable physically or mentally. You may often encounter unhappy people and things, interpersonal conflicts, relationship and marriage problems (which could affect your magnetic field), and even problems in your academic or career life. This may be because when you are too self-centered or pursue self-interest, you may accumulate a lot of negative energy. The more self-centered you are, the more your magnetic field may be out of sync with other people's. You may benefit from learning how to truly love others and adapt to people and things, so as to correct your energy field, resolve conflicts, improve your emotions and interpersonal relationships, and better solve the above problems. In addition, if you know how to truly love the people and things in the world, you may find it easier to let go of love, which could help reduce negative emotions such as separation anxiety and pain. You may feel more content, and you may be able to feel happiness. This could help make your life more fulfilling and meaningful.

If it is helpful, they can also support those around them to grow and change together.

The ways in which excessive self-centeredness manifests itself can vary from person to person. These manifestations may include psychological motivations such as pursuing self-satisfaction, striving for self or repressing self-deprecation to please others, blindly giving in order to gain, being afraid of losing, or disregarding the gains and losses of self-interest and emotions. Some individuals may exhibit behaviors that could be perceived as narcissistic or inferior, such as paying excessive attention to oneself, generating pressure and worry, social phobia, being caught up in one's own emotions and thoughts, attaching too much importance to what others think of oneself, not accepting one's own shortcomings and deficiencies, forcing oneself to be perfect, being obsessive, controlling, possessing others or forcing others to satisfy oneself, otherwise resenting and being discontent, being unable to let go of oneself to forgive and forgive, and brooding.

If you focus solely on yourself, you may experience feelings of anxiety, depression, and fatigue, and you might even find it challenging to adapt to the people and environment at your school or workplace. On the other hand, if you genuinely care about others and adapt to your surroundings, you will naturally feel less self-focused and will be able to replenish your positive energy.

In short, it is always best to do your best, have good intentions, and do no harm to others, because nobody wants to suffer.