I broke up with someone I love, and now I'm in a lot of pain. How can I get over it?

Dear Sir/Madam, I am pleased to be able to respond to your query. I hope that my suggestions will be of assistance to you. Kind regards,

The loss of a loved one is undoubtedly a painful experience. It is not a situation anyone wishes to face. However, in reality, many people are unable to maintain a relationship with the person they love the most. It is therefore important to manage our emotional state in a more reasonable way.

Each individual is a unique entity with their own life to lead. It is essential to maintain a forward-thinking perspective.

It is also important to respect our own feelings. When we meet someone we really like, we should be courageous and pursue a relationship with them. However, when we meet someone we do not really like, we also need to accept this and not impede the other person's progress.

Furthermore, when these two factors converge in a single relationship, it is not uncommon for the other party to become disinterested. However, it is important to recognize that this is often a result of their own personal decisions.

Mutual respect, understanding, and freedom are essential for effective self-management.

It is important to understand that intense emotions are a normal part of the process of losing love. Anyone would experience sadness when faced with the loss of a significant other. However, it is crucial to ensure that one's actions do not result in self-harm. It is essential to prioritize one's own well-being and recognize that one is the most important person in their own life.

It is possible to seek assistance from friends in order to release emotions, discuss feelings, and calm the mood.

Additionally, we may seek the assistance of professionals, such as counselors, to help us manage our emotions.

In the event of experiencing extreme thoughts in our daily lives, we are encouraged to proactively contact the crisis intervention hotline to seek guidance from professionals in regulating our emotions. This approach is designed to ensure the preservation of our physical and mental well-being.

I hope that with the support of professionals or close friends and trusted individuals, you will be able to navigate this period more effectively. In the future, we will undoubtedly encounter a more suitable and compatible partner.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my best wishes to you all.

I understand your pain, but death is not the answer. Breaking up is really painful, but you will overcome this. Here are some suggestions to help you get out of the pain and back to happiness:

First, allow yourself to feel the pain, but also accept reality. A breakup means that two people can no longer go on together. It is not your fault, nor is it the other person's. It is simply a fact that they are no longer right for each other.

Understand and accept this fact so you can gradually release yourself.

Second, you must allow yourself time and space to heal. Everyone recovers differently, so do not rush the process.

You can and should try some self-care methods, such as going for a walk, meditating, keeping a diary, or talking to friends. These activities will help you calm down and take stock of yourself.

Stay positive. Believe that better people and things await you in the future, even though it is painful now.

Focus on other things, such as work, study, or hobbies, to keep yourself occupied.

Furthermore, maintaining contact with friends and family is an effective strategy. They can provide invaluable support and encouragement to help you navigate challenging periods.

Tell them how you feel and listen to their advice. You will find that you are not alone.

If you feel you cannot cope with the pain alone, seek professional psychological counseling. A professional counselor can help you better understand your emotions and provide effective coping strategies.

In short, although breaking up is painful, it is also an opportunity to grow. You can do this!

You must let go of yourself.

Good day, question asker.

I empathize with the negative emotional experience of "breaking up with someone I love and now experiencing significant distress."

For this reason, I would like to share some thoughts with you for your reference.

The questioner describes the psychological experience of being in a relationship with someone who was not emotionally supportive during the breakup.

This experience demonstrates that the breakup has had an impact on your sense of security.

Safety is Maslow's lowest-ranked need, second only to physiological requirements. It is a powerful motivator. When safety is threatened, it can affect one's mood, leading to objective assessments of oneself and the surrounding environment. This can result in negative emotional responses.

For instance, the short-term continuation of depressed emotions such as "I'm in so much pain right now" and uncontrollable extreme subjective thinking and judgments.

Irrespective of the underlying cause, there are typically several stages of psychological development following a breakup.

Following the termination of a relationship, the individual may experience a period of psychological distress and uncertainty. The immediate impact of the dissolution may result in fluctuations in emotional state, potentially leading to irrational thoughts and ideas.

However, following a breakup, it is not uncommon to experience reluctance in facing reality, a tendency to disbelieve the facts, and a reliance on repeated extreme thinking to maintain mental equilibrium.

However, as time passes, you will gradually accept the situation, consider the facts of the breakup rationally, and eventually emerge from the shadow of the breakup.

Once the above analysis is understood, the first recommendation is to gain an understanding of one's own boundaries.

An open attitude with clearly defined boundaries is an effective approach to dealing with a breakup.

If there are outstanding issues with a former colleague or business partner, it is advisable to communicate honestly and clearly define boundaries. This will help to establish a healthier relationship moving forward.

In terms of emotional relief, you may also choose to speak with other colleagues or engage in stress-relieving activities such as vocal expression, singing, or exercise.

Once a certain degree of stress relief has been achieved, it is possible to calm oneself and consider the causes and consequences, reflecting on them and drawing conclusions. Alternatively, one can learn about the psychology of relationships and apply that knowledge to enhance one's thinking and judgment.

Should the aforementioned strategies prove ineffective in alleviating your distress within an acceptable timeframe, it is advisable to seek the guidance of a qualified psychologist. They will be able to provide more specialized and targeted assistance in managing stress.

Ultimately, however, the most effective solution is to allow time to gradually cool down the situation, as this is the most effective course of action.

I hope you find the above information useful.

Hello. I can imagine that the breakup has caused you a great deal of pain, and that you feel as though the pain will never end. It's natural to feel helpless and powerless in such circumstances.

Indeed, a broken heart is a significant traumatic event. If it is initiated by the other person, it can also be a challenging experience of rejection. This sense of loss can sometimes affect our self-identity. Being rejected by someone you love can sometimes lead to feelings of self-doubt and a sense of loss of control.

When we experience pain, our natural instinct is to find a way to quickly ease it. However, just as a physical injury or illness needs time to heal, getting over emotional trauma also requires a process.

Psychologists often use the term "mourning" to deal with loss. A break-up is a kind of loss and requires a period of "mourning." It may feel like a long time now, but with time and patience, you will eventually be able to get over the pain of the break-up and establish a new order in your life.

It is a natural part of personal growth to experience the highs and lows of love. Many people find themselves in the midst of a challenging relationship at some point in their lives. With time, however, most people emerge from these experiences with a deeper understanding of themselves.

It can be challenging to let go of past feelings when a relationship ends suddenly. It's not uncommon to experience a period of repeated, intense emotions. During this time, it can be helpful to keep an emotional and behavioral diary to gain insight into the patterns and habits that might be causing you emotional distress.

For instance, when you become aware that past feelings are resurfacing, it can be helpful to consider your specific mental activities and state at that moment. It might be useful to identify any particular events or objects that tend to trigger your thoughts, as well as your specific feelings at that time. Once you have a sense of what is going on for you in that moment, you can then decide on the best way to respond. This might involve calling a friend to talk things through, or taking some time to relax through a bath or exercise.

It may be helpful to record these emotions and behaviors, and to write a positive affirmation in each entry to remind yourself that you are one step closer to healing.

If you feel that your emotions may be overwhelming and you're unsure how to cope, or if talking to friends and family isn't helping, you might consider seeking the support of a psychologist. A professional can help you process your emotions, identify positive aspects in your life, and help you regain your strength.

Hello. I am Gu Daoxifeng, a heart coach and the skinny donkey.

Losing love is a sad thing. I understand the questioner's feelings. Let me be clear: I'm here to support you.

The questioner said, "I broke up with the person I love. He was heartless." I'm not sure if it was a relationship that went both ways or one-sided. What was the reason for the breakup? If it was just because of a lack of love, why would the questioner hurt herself for someone who doesn't love her?

You can hurt yourself as much as you want, but the other person will never feel any pain. Only the people who care about you will feel sad.

I have read that torturing oneself with the mistakes of others is tantamount to inflicting secondary harm on oneself. The questioner wants to hurt themselves because they have been broken up with. They must decide whether they want to give up on themselves or if there is someone else to love them apart from him.

You need to ask yourself: is it worth giving up the whole world for this person?

Love is not the whole of life. It is only one experience in a stage of life. Experience the different landscapes in life. Love your family, friends, and yourself. Love your life. You will find that although this person is important, you have not given up the whole world for him.

You will recover and adjust. Be patient with yourself and shift your focus. Cultivate new hobbies and interests.

It will take time to adjust to going from the hustle and bustle of two people to the loneliness of one. Spend time with friends and family during this period to avoid being alone. Pour out your feelings to them. Vent your emotions.

Forget about someone by thinking more about their shortcomings. If someone doesn't love you, doesn't care about you, doesn't accompany you, and can't provide either material or emotional value, what do you want from them? Think more about their shortcomings and feel better.

There is a kind of love that has nothing to do with you. If the questioner really can't let go, they should follow their heart and allow themselves to like the other person, without necessarily expecting a response. This will undoubtedly make the questioner feel a little more relaxed.

Death is not the only solution. There's no need to choose death. It's a pessimistic, negative, and catastrophic way of thinking. The questioner's inner voice may be, "I'm not worthy of love," but that's not true. Think about what you have besides love.

The original poster should try something else before deciding on the approach that hurts the most. If you don't try anything, you'll regret it.

Read "Byrnes' New Emotional Therapy," "When You Start Loving Yourself, the Whole World Will Love You Back," and "The Turning of a Single Thought." The world and I love you.

I wish you the best!

You should read the following books:

Hello, I am Xintan Coach Fei Yun. Life is a beautiful journey. Appreciate it. Embrace it. And most of all, blossom.

We feel sad and upset when we break up and may even feel like we can't go on living. This is because we interpret breaking up in the following way:

Breaking up is heartbreak. It's failure. It's failure, my life is such a failure, I can't even keep the person I love. It's the other person doesn't recognize or accept me. So breaking up is pain.

Let's do a reframing exercise.

You may lose a tree (a person) when you break up, but you gain a forest (more choices) in return.

Zeng Shiqiang is clear in his lectures: Don't rush into a relationship in college. Observe and make friends first. If you jump into a relationship too quickly, your friends will be afraid to get close because they'll see you're already taken.

Breaking up means finding out that someone isn't a good match for you (someone you can't spend your life with).

Some people describe love and marriage as "rolling the dice." You can't predict the ending of a story from the very beginning. That's why you need to "date" someone, to get to know each other better and to see if you can get along. If you can't, you'll naturally break up because you're not a good match.

Breaking up with someone you love means he loses someone who treasures him, while you see someone who doesn't deserve to be loved.

From this perspective, he has suffered a significant loss. You, on the other hand, have gained a great advantage. Someone who truly loves you will not let you feel sad and upset. Someone who makes you feel this way is not someone worth loving deeply.

Turning your mind back to the past, you will find that the pain is still there. Admit your pain with an open heart. Pain is natural, expected, and healthy, and it tells us that we have been hurt and need to be "treated."

Give yourself a "butterfly hug" (cross your arms around yourself), and if you want to cry, just let the sad and upset emotions flow naturally.

Keep a mood journal, talk to a close friend, or spend some time alone to think about how you can use the pain caused by this crisis to better understand yourself. You have choices, and you haven't "given up" just because you've broken up.

Read Becoming a Better You After a Breakup. It's worth your time. You'll find a proven set of methods to help you recover from the pain of divorce, breakup, or loss of a significant other and rebuild your life.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. I love you, and I hope the world loves you too.

If you want to continue communicating, follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

If you love someone, even when you're breaking up, you'll still think about them and try to make the final separation as painless as possible so you can part on good terms.

It's important to understand the attitude behind the behavior.

From what the questioner said, it seems like they ended things with the person they were in a relationship with. Throughout the relationship, the questioner knew that they loved and cared for the other person more than they were loved and cared for in return. This is also why the questioner was so upset when the other person suggested breaking up with them.

From what we can see from these brief confessions, it seems that in this relationship, the questioner and the other party have unequal contributions and unequal status. The other party's harshness is a clear example of this unequal situation. He knows that the questioner, who loves him, will be sad and upset by the separation, but he is no longer willing to put in any more effort and choose a better way to handle the relationship.

Why you can't accept the result

When the other person ends things with the questioner, it can be said that this decision has been on their mind for a while. Perhaps there are too many unresolved issues in the relationship, or it can be said that the other person has lost interest and doesn't want to continue wasting each other's time.

You've invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship, so it's natural to find it difficult to accept a breakup. When faced with this outcome, the other person also tends to be reluctant to give you another chance. These feelings can intensify your sadness.

How can you ease the pain?

Sometimes, when you're in a relationship, you can see that things aren't working out. If you're both miserable, you're reluctant to make a change because you're used to the other person's company and think that time will make everything better.

A real solution: The questioner isn't willing to accept the outcome of the breakup. It seems like the other party proposed this decision. The questioner thinks that, under normal circumstances, the other party's proposal to break up is the real reason why the questioner can't accept it. It's only because the questioner is still paying for the relationship, but the other party doesn't know when they've already withdrawn their hearts and no longer pay for this relationship.

In this case, you can imagine that the other person didn't make things clear when they broke up with you. They simply informed you, which is also a factor in your difficulty in letting go. If possible, you can ask the other person to explain things clearly to you. You can do this online or in person. Your emotions will affect the effectiveness of your communication. Ask the other person to talk about the issues that have affected your relationship, and make sure that there is no chance of salvaging the relationship. Say a real goodbye to this relationship.

☀️ Switch your focus: You care too much about the other person and love them more than yourself, so you can't accept their breakup and departure. You're even more heartbroken and have no idea about life anymore. You've regarded the other person as your support and placed more emphasis on them. So, facing such a big change, you've lost direction in life and are at a loss.

Give yourself time, keep yourself busy, try to distract yourself, and then slowly bring your focus back to yourself. Allow yourself to feel sad about your efforts and dedication, and promise yourself to take good care of yourself during the process of healing your soul. Only when you love yourself will others learn to love themselves too.

It's important to accept the facts. We don't know how many relationships we'll have in our lives. Some people help us grow, and when they leave, it shows us that we can't give them what they want and that we can't keep them happy.

The questioner knows he isn't ready to let go of this relationship, but the other person has already chosen to leave. There's no way he'll come back because of the questioner's sadness and grief. This is a fact. Love doesn't always mean two people have to be together. Love can also mean letting go. Letting go when you realize you're not suited for each other. Love can also mean fulfilling each other in the relationship.

Use the right method to release your emotions, heal your body and mind, and try not to stay in a negative mood all the time. Negative emotions will only affect your thoughts and state of mind. Accept the facts and let time help you move on.

I hope my answer is helpful to the original poster. Best of luck!

Hello, Coach Yu here. Let's talk about this.

It's said that adults should live their own lives after a breakup, but it's hard to do.

People have memories of when their feelings left. Reason and emotion can create strong contradictions, and nostalgia and resentment often alternate. This is especially true for the person who has been broken up with. They refuse to deal with the end of the relationship. As the questioner wrote, I broke up with the person I love. He was heartless. How can I die happily now?

We need to end the relationship mentally so we can renew ourselves and see ourselves clearly. This will also help us in our relationships.

First, accept the loss.

We try to create a new environment for ourselves by getting rid of things that remind us of him and temporarily disabling social media.

We also try to face the relationship ending, say goodbye to the old self, and make room for a new self to grow. Ask yourself: How did you feel when he proposed to break up?

What does losing him mean to me?

What was the scene like at the time? Record and organize your memories and feelings. Which feelings and emotions were triggered by the breakup and which were amplified by past experiences? Write about your feelings honestly. This will help us understand your emotions and the root cause of the problem.

Finally, you can say goodbye to the relationship. You can write a letter or go to nature to shout out your feelings.

Next, we need to find new meaning in the relationship after it ends.

Have you gained anything from the breakup?

Has the breakup changed our views on love and values?

We can ask ourselves what we did wrong in our relationship. Has our view of ourselves changed?

Is there any new insight about love?

We must allow ourselves to feel pain and slowly move on. Respect your emotions.

When we're single and feeling down, we can ask ourselves, "What does this remind me of? It's not true!"

When we accept our emotions, we won't act out due to repression.

If you need help, find someone you trust to talk to. You can also find a counselor or support group. It's good to talk about your feelings.

Relax. Go for a walk on the weekends. Enjoy nature. Read and exercise. Life is a cycle. You will face challenges, but you will also overcome them.

Live a blossoming life.