I deeply love a girl who cannot bear children. As the only son, what should I do?

Good day, question asker.

Your question is succinct, yet it seems to convey a sense of urgency. It's possible that you're currently facing a challenging situation, and you're seeking guidance on how to navigate it effectively.

I empathize with your situation. It is understandable to experience distress when two individuals are getting along so well. However, given that the girl in question has indicated a desire to end the relationship, it would be more appropriate for her to initiate the separation.

This may be unexpected, given your previous reservations. What if you do not make a final decision?

The girl's decision has caused you to experience a range of emotions, including sadness and regret. I empathize with your situation and offer my support.

Life is full of misfortunes, especially when you are in a relationship. You will encounter different situations. However, I believe your situation is still quite normal. If I had to say, I believe you are still somewhat fortunate. Why do I say that?

I believe the girl you met should be assertive and forward-thinking. She is also someone who grasps the broader context.

The following is merely a personal speculation regarding the future between the two of you. Should any inaccuracies be found, kindly draw your own conclusions based on your own situation.

This is how I imagine the situation when you get together. That is to say, when you are enjoying the beauty of love and you like each other, you will always show anxiety because after all, the main problem is now around you, and you have to face it. There is pressure from your parents and pressure from yourself, because we know that as ordinary people, the general probability is that you want to have your own children. If you can have children, or not, that is our own active choice, but if, even this hope is shattered, you really need to have the courage to accept this fact.

If you find yourself in this situation, I have no doubt you will make the right decision. Regardless of your choice or actions, you will only be with this person for a limited time. There is no need to make a long-term commitment. In this regard, I believe this young woman is very astute and commendable. I also wish to give her my full support.

It may be beneficial for both parties to take the initiative to end the relationship. This is my opinion. The housewife in question may find happiness with someone who is childless, as there are men who do not want children for various reasons. The prevalence of dual-income, no kids (DINK) families is evidence of this. It is likely that she will meet someone who is a better match for her.

If you are in agreement with the aforementioned proposition, then I believe you should terminate the relationship. What are your true feelings? There is no need to carry excessive emotional baggage; simply wish her well from the bottom of your heart.

I am not suggesting that you are lacking in compassion. I also understand that it is challenging for you to let her go. However, if you, who are currently affectionate, approach her again to persuade her to stay, it would be beneficial to mention that you are still undecided about having children. I anticipate that it may be difficult to overcome your parents' objections. Even if you persuade her to stay, I believe there may be an underlying feeling in your subconscious that you are her benefactor and that she owes you. Even if this is not the case, it will still have an impact on your relationship.

The above represents my speculation and imagination about your relationship. In my opinion, you are currently deeply invested in your relationship with her, focusing on self-improvement, adapting to your future life, and enhancing your overall well-being. This is an optimal approach to respond to her departure.

Should you feel that your love is as deep as the sea, that you can sacrifice everything, that you can secure the support of your parents, and that you can withstand all kinds of pressure, I would be very much in support of your decision and wish you well.

It is, unfortunately, a challenging situation, but one that is not uncommon in this society. We have chosen to persevere through this difficult period and to continue to grow. We are responsible for our own choices and are committed to supporting each other in achieving a positive outcome. However, should the situation require it, we can still find a way to move forward together, each with our own sense of happiness.

I wish you the utmost success in your romantic endeavors.

I extend my best wishes to you and the world.

There are three major forms of filial disobedience, and the greatest of these is not to have any descendants. For many, marriage and childrearing is a life goal. However, many individuals lack a clear understanding of the rationale behind these decisions. They often feel pressured by societal norms and the expectations of their parents and grandparents. They may also feel the need to conform to perceived social norms to avoid being seen as an "outsider." This can lead to a sense of pressure to fit in and maintain a positive reputation.

This is a psychological challenge. You may encounter a complex multiple-choice question, but it is not particularly difficult to solve, and the final decision is still yours. When it comes to love, there are often no clear-cut reasons.

The issue is not about family ties or money. It is simply a case of two people who love each other and wish to spend the rest of their lives together, as they do not wish to be lonely.

Let me examine a few issues with you.

1. You have formed a romantic attachment to this individual, and she has reciprocated your feelings. However, you are experiencing internal conflict due to your desire to continue the family line and your obligation to consider the feelings of your loved ones.

It seems like a valid rationale, and the decision to withdraw is also commendable and demonstrates her integrity. Ultimately, it depends on your perspective.

The concept of passing on the family line and continuing the family name is a traditional one, particularly among the older generation. When we consider the current marriage concepts of many DINKs, non-marriage people, and Gays, it seems that many people are reluctant to accept this tradition and find it challenging to do so. However, there are still many individuals who adhere to this tradition, representing a minority within their respective communities.

Please indicate whether you are willing to be part of a niche group for the sake of love.

2. Loving someone is inherently self-serving and may result in harm to loved ones and damage to friendships. However, it is precisely because of this self-interest that love can be achieved. Family ties are also self-serving. For the benefit of one's own family, one can disregard the feelings of any outsider.

Therefore, any decision you make will be the correct one, as it will inevitably result in the hurt of one party. However, this is only a temporary situation, and you will encounter the next ideal romantic interest. Nevertheless, it is likely that this will not be your first experience of falling in love.

While you may be able to satisfy your parents and family, they may not be able to remain by your side indefinitely. Your true partner in life is always your significant other.

Hi, I'm a heart coach. I'll be there for you with warmth and listen to your story with sincerity.

I can see where you're coming from. On the one hand, you've found your dream girl. On the other hand, you have to think about your parents and your status as the only child in your family. It's a tough spot to be in.

I can see you're in a tough spot. On the one hand, you've found your dream girl. On the other, you have to think about your parents and being the only child in your family. It's hard to know how to balance the two.

First, it depends on your values and your attitude toward marriage.

It's easy to think of marriage as just between two people, but it's really a matter between two families and even clans. You're an only child, so you're responsible for carrying on the family line.

Marriage is different from love. It's more realistic. It's not uncommon for couples to go to court over wedding photos after getting married.

It's not that there's no affection, but rather that the two people have different values and outlooks on life.

I'd suggest reading the book "If Only I Knew Before Marriage" to help you learn more about some of the things you need to pay attention to when entering into marriage.

I'd suggest reading the book "If Only I Knew Before Marriage" to help you learn more about some of the things you need to pay attention to when entering into marriage.

If you and your family can't accept that you can't have children and there's no way to solve the problem (like in vitro fertilization), it's better to suffer a short pain than a long one. After all, problems that can't be solved before marriage are also difficult to solve after marriage.

?2. Then, a good marriage

Love is a real blessing when you're in each other's good books. Enjoy the sweetness of a loving relationship and a bright future together.

However, a perfect love and a happy marriage require three things: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

The two people need to get used to each other's interests, hobbies, living habits, and the two families.

Perfect love doesn't just happen. It takes effort from both people to keep it strong and healthy.

As the saying goes, "a good man is nurtured by a good woman, and a good woman is nurtured by a good man." Marriage is about mutual achievement and mutual nourishment, not just about satisfying one person's needs.

So, after seeing what love and marriage are really like, it's clear there are many good marriages out there. And, just like anything in life, you have to be ready to move on when the time is right.

Everyone comes into our lives to help us learn and grow. It doesn't matter if you have a future together or not, thank him for being in your life.

Look for this gift in your relationship and take your time to make it happen. It might teach you about making the right choices or what it really means to be fulfilled and in a loving relationship.

From this perspective, it's also a great way to show your appreciation and remember this relationship.

I hope this is helpful to you. Best, The World and I

I hope this is helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you want to keep talking, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'll keep in touch and we can work together one-on-one.

Hello!

I'm a heart exploration coach, and I believe learning is the treasure of the body.

From what you've told me, I can really feel how you're struggling, how difficult it is for you, and how helpless you feel.

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of your concerns about the girl you like being unable to bear children. Instead, I've got three friendly suggestions for you:

First, I suggest you ask yourself if you can accept the fact that the girl cannot bear children.

This is the heart of the matter, my friend. If you can accept it, then the subsequent problems may be solved. But if you are particularly concerned and cannot accept the fact that you don't have your own children, then you can only choose to let go.

It seems like you're worried about your family's reaction to you being an only child. I can understand why you'd be concerned about that. It's not easy to navigate these situations with our loved ones. But from what you've shared, it seems like you're open to the idea of having children with this girl. So, I think the key is to communicate your thoughts to your family in a way that shows you're open to their concerns.

And if it is the above situation, the key to the problem is to try to convince your family to accept this girl.

Secondly, I would gently suggest that you try to communicate your true thoughts to your family.

If you can't let her go and want to be with her, you can try to resolve your internal concerns (the issue of being an only child) and then communicate with your family. I know it can be tough, but you've got this!

It's so important to be prepared on two fronts here.

First, remember that having children isn't a requirement.

Because there are now many DINK families, it's important to make sure your family understands that having no children is not a big deal for only children. They might try to convince you otherwise with the saying "There are three kinds of unfilial acts, and not having any descendants is the greatest." But you can gently explain that it's not true.

Of course, the first thing you need to do is accept that you can live without children, as we mentioned earlier.

Second, remember that you can also adopt to solve the problem of infertility.

If your family is having trouble accepting that you don't have kids, you might want to let them know that you can also adopt a child and see if that helps.

It's totally normal for your family to disagree with you when you tell them about your plans. They might need a little time to adjust, and you might need to gently persuade them at the right time. But remember, they may also change their minds, and you could end up together in the end!

I really want you to know that I'm here for you, and I suggest you prepare yourself for their disapproval and then find a way to live your life.

If you've made up your mind to stay with her, it's a good idea to communicate with your family members, give them some time, and do your best during this period. But if they still disagree, you can accept the reality and ask yourself if you have the courage to live with her well. It's okay if you don't — we all have to do what's right for us.

It's totally normal for a relationship to not have the support and blessings of your family. We all come from different generations and have different understandings of love and marriage.

It's so important to focus on living your own life, and of course, you need to be prepared to deal with difficulties, such as outside opinions and family accusations.

Ultimately, it's so important to recognize the need for balance and contrast between your married life, your little family, and your extended family. This is the essence of it all, because the choice to have children is yours and yours alone.

I really hope my answer helps! If you'd like to chat some more, just click on "Find a Coach" at the bottom and I'll be in touch.

Good evening.

You already know the answer to this question. The girl knows it too and is probably thinking of ending things before it's too late.

Let me be clear: I advise you to end this relationship. The sooner you do, the better. There are several reasons why.

You're an only child, and you've specifically mentioned this. Your parents want you to carry on the family line, and you should consider it your duty.

There is no right or wrong in this. If someone believes that he has an obligation to pass on the family line and is willing to fulfill that obligation, as long as he finds someone who is willing to fulfill it with him, then everyone will be happy.

You are in a situation where you are the only child with obligations, and you have met a girl who cannot bear children. This will cause serious conflict within you.

You may think of using this as a way to rebel against your parents, but deep down you worry about being unfilial. Let me be clear: for many men, the threat of being unfilial is enough to bring them to their knees without them even having to lift a finger.

You need to find a partner who can meet your needs. Don't put pressure on yourself and resist your own moral standards. If you really care about your child, you'll do this.

Second, if you get married, you will put psychological pressure on the other person.

The reason is simple. When a woman does something wrong, especially in the relationship with her in-laws, you may feel, "I have sacrificed so much for you. I don't have any children of my own, and I don't listen to my parents. I deserve something in return."

This sense of superiority makes you feel like you are on a higher level than your partner in your relationship. You believe you are doing the right thing for them. You feel you are sacrificing for them and that they should repay you.

But is the other person at fault? Absolutely not. You knew that you couldn't have children, and you were willing to marry a woman who couldn't have children, which often means that you already knew what you might be facing.

This is your choice, and she should not bear any additional responsibility for it.

Third, don't test yourself or the other person.

Marriage is not love. Love is simple, but marriage is very complicated and realistic.

Don't test yourself. If there is an irreconcilable conflict now, you should complain about it after entering into marriage, not before.

Do not test the other person. She may be willing to compromise at first, but that does not mean she will be willing to do so forever.

I am certain that the other person is reasonable and truly wants what is best for you.

I firmly believe that the greatest challenge a man faces is not the lack of a partner, but his duty to his parents. He may not succeed, but he cannot fail to be filial.

Many people believe that filial piety means listening to your parents and not making them angry, especially when it comes to important matters in life.

I am a psychological counselor who is often depressed and sometimes optimistic. I love the world and I love you.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

Given the circumstances, it seems that the questioner and the girl are meant to be together. After getting to know each other, the girl reveals her fertility issues to the questioner.

I'd say this girl is pretty brave. She's willing to face her own problems head-on and is also very considerate. She knows that childbearing is a topic that many people care about, so she's chosen to lay out her problems and let you make the decision.

The girl feels like she can't wait any longer, so she's given up. Seeing this, I really want to give this girl a hug. What has she been through to make her so proactive and considerate? I can imagine that she's been hurt in this matter. Maybe she seems strong on the outside, but she's also vulnerable on the inside. If she really loves children, then this will be her own regret.

I'm not sure what to do now.

1. Realistic

The questioner said he's an only child. If you really like each other, can get past everything, and are confident your family will accept that the girl can't have kids, there's still a chance your relationship can work. As long as you can accept this and find a way to get along, the fact that the girl can't have kids won't be an issue.

If the questioner really likes children and has imagined living with his wife and kids after marriage, then I'd say the girl won't be able to fulfill this wish. Even if you stay together, you'll probably end up having regrets and conflicts over the issue of kids.

2. It's better to have a short pain than a long one.

If you have different interests, it's understandable that the girl would want to pursue her own path. The more you get to know each other, the more emotionally invested you'll become. When your relationship deepens, it can be challenging to navigate various issues.

The questioner is reluctant to let go because the girl has a very good image in the questioner's heart. You're in the stage of mutual attraction, and it's tough to convince yourself to let her go at this time. Her actions have made the questioner only see her good side.

But a short pain is better than a long one. Give each other time to move on from this relationship. Maybe after a while, she'll meet someone who'll accept her for who she is and treat her like a child. And maybe the original poster will meet someone suitable and live the life they want.

3. Know what you need from the relationship.

As an only child, I have a lot of concerns. This sentence can already show what the questioner is really thinking. You care about this matter. Once you care even a little, your relationship will be affected. It's just a matter of time.

If she can't meet your standards, it just goes to show that your relationship is shallow. Love is a matter of two people, and marriage is a matter of two families. So even if you ignore this problem and continue to love each other now, you'll still have to face it in the future when you can't get rid of it. So respect your own inner thoughts; you really can't accept this fact.

I hope my answer is helpful to the original poster. Best regards.

Good day, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing, and I extend my support to you.

The issues you are currently facing in your relationship are likely to be resolved in time. I would like to extend my support to you in this process.

I do not believe the girl you like is being unreasonable in her considerations.

Ultimately, you are an only child, and your parents likely have an expectation that you will continue the family line.

Please advise on your views on having children.

Despite the girl's inability to bear children naturally, the use of current advanced medical technology may allow for the possibility of in vitro fertilization if both parties are genuinely interested in pursuing this option.

It is important to consider the girl's age, as the likelihood of success in IVF decreases with age.

I have been informed that if there is love, there is no difficulty that cannot be overcome.

The questioner should consider whether they would be willing to marry a girl without children and grow old alone.

If feasible, it would be advisable to communicate your current thoughts to the girl directly.

Naturally, your financial situation will also be a factor. If it is not an insurmountable problem, you should also inform the girl that you are willing to try in vitro fertilization with her.

If you and the other party have a positive relationship, it is important to communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly.

It is important to remember that she is not a mind reader. If you do not tell her what you are thinking, she will not be able to understand your true feelings.

Naturally, if you inform the individual that you are not opposed to the idea of them not having children, but they nevertheless decide to terminate the relationship, you will have no choice but to accept that your paths have diverged.

If this is the case, I would advise you to compose a formal farewell letter to the girl, with no word limit.

I hope you will be able to find an effective solution to the problem you are facing soon.

I have no further suggestions at this time.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I am available to assist you further if required.

On behalf of Yixinli, I would like to extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, questioner. I can sense the love between you two in your question. It seems that the girl feels that she cannot delay you, and also considers your situation, so she chooses to temporarily withdraw.

(Perhaps there is still a chance for this to work out later.) You also have to consider the parents of the family. If you truly want to get married like this, you may face pressure from your parents, your own feelings of guilt and indebtedness to your parents' family, etc. In addition, this rare situation will bring you face to face with the daily struggles of married life in the future. This is also a very sensitive issue.

I empathize with your predicament and want to help you navigate it. I have a few questions that might assist you in discerning your genuine needs.

1. Would you be willing to accept the possibility of losing this girl? It is possible that you may meet someone more suitable for you, someone your parents will approve of, but maybe not.

2. Have you considered what the consequences might be if you don't get together? Do you think you might regret it in the future?

3. Could I ask you to consider whether having children is something you need, or something your family needs? And which of your needs are more important than those of your parents?

4. Regardless of whom you marry, it would be beneficial to consider what you need in a marriage and the type of partner you would be most compatible with.

5. If you do end up together, you may have to consider the implications of not having children. Have you thought about how you might approach this? What if you find a way?

You want to be with your girlfriend and you want to have a child, and you understand this conflicted feeling. Either way, you will have to face the consequences.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to follow your heart and make a choice, and then accept the consequences of that choice.

Hello, question asker! It's so nice to meet you!

From what you've told me, I can see you're feeling a bit love/im-confused-not-sure-whether-i-should-try-to-save-this-relationship-4246.html" target="_blank">confused, reluctant, and maybe even a little pained.

It was tough to find a girl who felt the same way you did, and you two could have had a great future together. But because the girl couldn't have kids and you were an only child, it became a bit of a hiccup. I wasn't sure how to handle it, and the girl felt like she couldn't wait any longer, so she made the tough decision to move on. I'm not sure how to approach this, and if I face this situation, I'll be heartbroken.

The questioner may think that they'll never meet another girl they like so much again.

It's so sad and painful when you can't be with the girl you like and when promises can't be kept. I'm here for you, hugging you with a heavy heart, with your family on one side and the person you like on the other.

It's really tough. If the girl has already made a choice and chosen to leave, and the questioner really cannot accept the fact that they cannot have children for various reasons, then it's time to stop the loss and focus on your own happiness.

I've always admired the courage to give and compromise for love. But we also have to be rational and ask ourselves if we have the ability and confidence to make the other person happy if we force the relationship to continue.

It's true that like and suitable aren't always found together. There are so many joys and sorrows in this world. Sometimes we find comfort in the idea that everything is predestined. But the truth is, every step we take is a step towards something good. Before we know it, we find that some people are drifting further and further apart. But we still have to set out on the journey alone, find our own path, and meet the right person for us. I wonder if you have the confidence to wait for that person to appear?

I really hope this helps the questioner in some way.

Hello, question asker! I'm Enoch, your answerer. From what you've told us, it seems like you're the only child in your family. It's only natural that you'd want to think about the future of your family when it comes to love and marriage. You've met someone you like, but there are some physical issues that make it difficult for you and your family. It's so brave of her to leave, but it's understandable that you're having a hard time moving on.

Let's help the questioner work through a few things together.

1. Take a moment to think about what you hope to get out of your marriage.

I'm not sure if the questioner and the girl have already tied the knot. If they haven't, I really hope the questioner will think carefully about what they want from marriage before getting involved in another relationship. After all, a marriage that can't bring the two parties together and commit to each other for life is bound to be a bit of a disaster.

It's so important to be honest with yourself and others when it comes to relationships. When the questioner had these concerns in his relationship with the girl, he already had his own choice in his heart. The girl the questioner liked was also a very smart girl, and this was perhaps one of the reasons the questioner liked her. She understood that when the questioner had so many concerns, it meant he didn't accept himself very much inside. She made a brave choice to support him and help him feel better about himself. If this relationship continues, even if they love each other again, it will plant the seeds of doubt and distrust.

Then it's really important to think about what you want from marriage after this experience. Do you want mutual affection and a shared interest? Or do you want someone who is good-looking, talented, and virtuous?

Or does the other person have a stable source of income to meet the needs of life? Some people even consider the other person's work and physical condition, and whether their family has the gene for longevity. It's so important to consider all these things! Has the questioner considered all these issues?

We all want to minimize the risks we may encounter in marriage, don't we?

2. Marriage is a lifelong commitment for both parties, an unchanging vow to weather the storm together.

It's a great idea to think about all the possibilities before you get married and then make a promise to stick together through thick and thin. Marriage is a kind of commitment. We all face different challenges in life, and before marriage, we often turn to our parents, siblings, and other loved ones for support. After marriage, we'll be in the same boat with our partners and children. On top of the issues the questioner is facing, there will be other complex problems. If the couple just flies away when disaster strikes, what kind of relationship do you think they'll have?

3. Life doesn't always go as planned, but it's so important to think about what kind of responsibility you're willing to take in a romantic relationship. It's also worth thinking about what price your children may have to pay for it. Can you bear it?

A stable marriage is built on more than just love and trust. It's also about understanding the importance of responsibility and the fear of making the wrong choice. If you're facing challenges in your relationship, it's essential to ask yourself: can this problem be solved through medical treatment? There are countless stories of couples who faced infertility after marriage but found success by seeking medical advice. I myself gave birth to my child five years after marriage, and a relative of mine gave birth to twin boys seven years after marriage. Our family has gone through this journey together, and it has only made us stronger as a couple and as parents. We understand each other better, and we know how to love and educate our children.

I just want to check in and see if the questioner is willing to take the risk of trying and waiting for the other person.

Let's consider another scenario. If the questioner ended things with the girl, would they be able to meet someone better? Or, would they be held back by feelings of guilt and thoughts of their ex? And, would they be able to manage their marriage well?

I really hope that the questioner won't meet someone with the same problem in the next relationship. It would be so sad if they couldn't bear the cost of making a new choice.

4. I'm wondering if, in this relationship, the questioner has been influenced by their parents or other relatives.

It's true that many of us are influenced by the people around us throughout our lives. Sometimes, these influences can lead us to make decisions we might not have made otherwise. In these cases, it's not always easy to take responsibility for our own choices. I really hope that the person who asked this question hasn't experienced such an influence, but I'm happy to share an example to help you understand what I mean.

I have a classmate who is rich, handsome, and successful. After marriage, his mother always interfered in his marital life with his wife, and twice asked for a divorce. In the end, this classmate failed in both marriages, with one daughter being raised by her mother and the other daughter being raised by his second wife. He also incurred gambling debts and cut off a finger during a fight with his wife. Now suffering from vitiligo, he has not remarried, making his otherwise wonderful life less than smooth.

I really hope the questioner can take a good look at their marriage problems and make a decision that's right for them.

First of all, congratulations on meeting the one you love at the perfect time in your relationship. It's worth celebrating that you, among all the people in the world, have met that person!

Every couple faces obstacles and challenges, and they have to make choices at many points along the way. But the problems each person has to deal with are different. You have to decide whether to stick with your partner for love or give up for a child.

Love and marriage are complicated, and they also involve how well the other person and you can integrate into real life. It's understandable to consider whether the other person can meet the needs of the family when deciding whether to marry someone. After all, we're not isolated individuals, and there are many real-life needs and issues to weigh.

Speaking of children, what do they mean to you? Is it something you see as a family need, or is it something that comes from deep within you?

I think it's safe to say that you're interested in having a child of your own, a child born to a loved one. This is a normal desire that shouldn't be ignored. It's something you should consider carefully.

Love can manifest in many ways, and marriage is just one of many possibilities. We all want to see the drama of being head over heels, but you are the master of your life. No one else will be on your life journey, so just listen to your heart!