I divorced my ex-husband 2 years ago, and he has a new love interest. I still want to reconcile, but what should I do?

You divorced your former spouse two years ago, and he has a new romantic interest, but you wish to reconcile. What action should you take?

From your inquiry, it is evident that despite being divorced, you still hold feelings for your former spouse. You have maintained contact for a period of two years following your divorce.

Additionally, you enjoy spending time together. You indicate that you are the primary initiator of contact with him.

The question, therefore, is whether your ex-husband would have accepted your invitation had he not already formed a new attachment.

Given that your ex-husband has a new romantic interest, what is your understanding of his current views on your relationship?

The first step is to address the reasons for your divorce with your former spouse.

It would be prudent to ascertain whether the factors that influenced your divorce still exist, as they may also affect your current relationship.

Please describe the qualities you saw in each other when you got married. Do you still see these qualities in each other?

If this is the case, it represents the foundation of your relationship.

Your ability to inquire about this matter indicates a stronger emotional attachment to your former spouse than he may have to you. This is likely due to your consistent role as the initiator of contact.

What are the nature and strength of your former spouse's feelings toward you? Based on the fact that you invited him and he accepted, it seems that he also has feelings for you.

The decision to marry is a mutual one. If your former spouse has no intention of reconciling or is not sufficiently committed to the relationship, your options may differ.

I am curious to know your thoughts on this matter. It brings to mind the plot of "Love in the Courtyard," where Qin Huaiyu pursued He Yuzhu.

He Yuzhu had feelings for Qin Huaiju, but they were not particularly strong. Qin Huaiju kept reappearing in He Yuzhu's life, and eventually, He Yuzhu came to understand his own feelings and they got together.

If you wish to rekindle your relationship with your former spouse, it is essential to ascertain whether they still hold feelings for you. It would be prudent to give this matter careful consideration.

If both parties still have feelings for each other but are reluctant to address the situation for various reasons, Qin Huairu's approach may be a viable option to consider. However, if your former spouse is not interested in rekindling the marriage, it would be advisable to explore other avenues.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best regards, [Name]

Good day, I am Luo Meiman, a licensed psychological counselor, and I am pleased to respond to your inquiry.

I have carefully read your description, which is very brief and leaves out a lot of information. For example, the reason for your divorce with your ex-husband, the reasons why you want to get back together now, and whether you have any children together. This information is necessary for me to make an informed decision. I am curious but don't understand, but that doesn't stop me from providing you with some of my views.

From your description, it is evident that you are still contemplating your former spouse. This indicates that you are a sentimental individual and that your former spouse's image in your mind is still quite positive. I suspect that you selected him because you loved him, and your relationship after marriage should have been quite good. Despite being divorced, your affection for him persists.

It is never too late to pursue happiness, and I fully support your idea of getting back together.

If you examine his behavior, you are interested in reuniting with him, and he must also comprehend your sentiments. You have been able to maintain contact, although it is you who has initiated it. On occasion, you are still able to have dinner together and converse, which demonstrates that he is not rejecting you. The reason he is not taking the initiative is that the divorce has created a psychological barrier for him. He may be conflicted between being close to you and leaving you.

He stated that he had been introduced to someone and was in the process of becoming acquainted with them. This statement can be interpreted in two ways: first, he is interested in exploring a new relationship; second, he is also assessing your attitude. You reacted with panic when you learned of this development.

Your assumption is that contact with other women indicates a definite reorganization of his family and a lack of possibility of reconciliation. This has caused you to become panicked.

I empathize with your situation, but I want to reassure you that the outlook is not as bleak as you may think. Based on your current circumstances, there are several promising factors that could lead to a favorable outcome in the event of a remarriage.

Firstly, the two-year period since the dissolution of the marriage has allowed the foundation of the relationship to remain intact, and the individual in question remains single. While there has been some contact with other members of the opposite sex, this does not necessarily indicate a successful outcome. The situation is, however, perceived as somewhat urgent.

Secondly, the two of you have a good rapport in your current relationship, and he treats you as a friend. This bodes well for the possibility of a reconciliation.

Ultimately, it is crucial to recognize that your feelings for him serve as the primary motivating factor behind your efforts to reconcile. Undoubtedly, you have made significant compromises to facilitate this outcome, and he will undoubtedly comprehend the changes you have undergone.

Therefore, it is advisable to leave the matter in the hands of your heart. If you wish to reconcile, it would be prudent to be courageous and pursue the matter. It is not sufficient to merely express your desire indirectly; for example, you might inquire about his well-being and send him regards.

However, I never explicitly stated, "I still love you/I still need you/I want to get back together with you." It is crucial to communicate your thoughts sincerely and directly. Even if you encounter setbacks, do not be discouraged. Attempting to reconcile is a challenging but rewarding process.

I hope you will not only have the idea of getting back together, but also the courage to do it and follow through. Regardless of the outcome, you will have tried for love and will not regret it in the future.

I wish you the best of luck and success in achieving your goals.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

Upon learning of the questioner's experiences and concerns, it came to my attention that the questioner and her former husband have been divorced for two years. Despite this, they have maintained a cordial relationship, occasionally sharing meals together. The atmosphere between them has been amicable. The questioner has expressed a desire to reconcile with her former husband, and has even taken the initiative to show care and consideration for him.

The questioner did not mention what caused her to divorce her ex-husband, but the fact that you chose to divorce suggests that there were challenges in your relationship. When two people are in close contact and spend a lot of time together, they may have a deeper understanding of each other's strengths and weaknesses. This could also be a contributing factor to the questioner's decision to divorce her ex-husband.

After your divorce, the questioner instead feels that the current togetherness is more like the harmony of lovers. This has led the questioner to conclude that she still loves her ex-husband and has been looking for an opportunity to remarry. Normally, the ex-husband can feel the questioner's concern for him, but now he is telling the questioner that someone has introduced a partner to him and they are getting along.

I still have the desire to reconcile with my former partner, but I am struggling to move on.

If you're comfortable doing so, please feel free to express your innermost thoughts directly.

During the two years of the divorce, the questioner had been contemplating the possibility of a reconciliation with her ex-husband. Given the positive atmosphere you two shared, there seemed to be a good chance of a reunion. Since there was the idea of a reconciliation, it would have been interesting to hear from the questioner whether she had ever mentioned it to her ex-husband.

It's possible that the original poster was waiting for her ex-husband to speak first, but now he's telling her that he's trying to get to know someone else of the opposite sex and that he's unsure of how they each think of each other. However, if the first impression is positive, there's a chance that things could develop further through continued understanding.

First impressions can be quite powerful, and they often have a significant impact on our overall perception of a situation, even when we receive later information that might contradict or challenge our initial impression. This is what is known as the primacy effect in psychology. (This explanation comes from Baidu.)

If you're interested in exploring this further, you could consider directly expressing your thoughts to your ex-husband to see how he responds.

It might be helpful to consider whether such a person really exists.

In the questioner's description, the ex-husband once expressed that he would not remarry. However, he has since indicated that he is getting to know someone else. This behavior may have two possible intentions: one is that the questioner's ex-husband may be testing the questioner's attitude to see if the questioner will say something, so as to know how the questioner feels about him now.

It's also possible that he's already moved on. The other person he met had some attractive qualities that he found appealing, so he may have forgotten what he said before about not looking again. He used to say that he still had feelings for you, but now that he's moved on, it's natural for him to want to find a partner who can be there for him.

It might be helpful to consider your own heart through the lens of getting along.

Despite being divorced from your former spouse, you still care about him and interact with him. This suggests that the divorce was not the outcome you had hoped for, and you have been trying to salvage the marriage.

Perhaps you are hesitant to express this idea directly, and you are also more proactive in the recovery process. This could indicate that in this relationship, you feel relatively insecure and are also the one who has given more. It might be helpful to consider the reasons for the previous divorce. If you were to get remarried, would these problems not recur?

Given that the questioner is contemplating a reconciliation with her former spouse, it is understandable that she is still preoccupied with him. This may have resulted in her paying less attention to other individuals of the opposite sex in her life. It might be beneficial to consider broadening your focus. If the issues that arose in the past are likely to resurface, it may be time to engage in a more serious reflection on the relationship.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Wishing you well.

First of all, I think a love/i-hope-many-people-respond-to-me-if-possible-a-hug-would-be-nice-too-12035.html" target="_blank">hug would be a good idea.

I can tell you're still reluctant to let go of your divorced-my-ex-husband-2-years-ago-and-he-has-a-new-love-interest-i-still-want-to-reconcile-but-what-should-i-do-16013.html" target="_blank">ex-husband, and I admire you for always persevering and fighting for love.

The issue is that you've been divorced for two years, but you've stayed in touch. You can eat and chat like friends, and you've always planned to get back together with your ex-husband. However, he's told you that he's about to start a new relationship.

From what we know so far, it seems that:

Over the two years you've been with your ex-husband, your goals have probably changed. Maybe you both started out with the idea of getting back together, but over time, your ex-husband may have started to see you as a good friend rather than someone to get back together with. That's probably why he told you about the blind date. You, on the other hand, are still hoping to get back together, and you and your ex-husband have different ideas about how you should get along together, which has led to the current situation.

Another possibility is that he also wants to get married again, but isn't sure what you think. So he made up a blind date to see how you'd react to the news.

No matter which of the above situations applies, here's some advice to think about:

Think about why you divorced your ex and whether you can really improve on those reasons now.

2. Do you truly love him and are you willing to put everything else aside and work hard to get back together?

If you can answer yes to both of these questions, you can be honest with him and tell him how you really feel. Whether you can be together in the end depends on fate, but at least you've tried...

Everyone has their own expertise. Just respect your own heart and don't hurt others, and you'll be fine!

I'm sure you'll find a great partner and live a wonderful, fruitful life.

I'm a listening therapist, Ji Chu Chang'an (Zhao Shujuan).

I'm here to help you love yourself more.

Hello, I am a heart exploration coach, here to offer you a warm and compassionate ear as you share your emotions.

You feel that you still have feelings for your ex-husband and are considering the possibility of getting back together. Despite being divorced, you have a positive and constructive relationship, which is a very good state.

However, when your partner mentions spending time with someone of the opposite sex, it can evoke a range of emotions, including feelings of sensitivity and even inferiority. It can be challenging to navigate these feelings and find a way forward.

Perhaps we could start with a warm embrace, and then take a moment to reflect on the challenges you're facing.

? 1. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine your own intimate relationship, learn from it, and grow.

Your text doesn't provide much information, so I'm not sure why you got divorced, whether you have children, the reasons for the divorce, and whether the parents and families of both sides were involved.

If it is a case of amicable separation and no issues of principle or bottom lines are involved, then, given your current state of amicable coexistence, there may be some grounds for optimism regarding the possibility of remarriage.

It might be helpful to reflect on your previous marital status, your patterns of getting along with each other, and your own patterns. This could help you gain insight and draw conclusions from them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you might have done to damage the intimacy of the relationship. It's possible that women are used to expressing frustration and blame, but this can actually be a way of showing love and concern for the other person. It's worth noting that when blame is expressed in words, it can lead to feelings of frustration in the other person.

At the same time, it may also be helpful to consider what aspects of the other person's behaviour could potentially be detrimental to the intimacy of the relationship.

It may be helpful to consider that everyone comes into our lives to help us achieve important life lessons. It could be that you are learning to love, or perhaps you are developing understanding and tolerance.

Men and women are inherently different, and we are inexperienced when we first enter into marriage. This is why marriage has been described as a "duet" that requires cooperation. It would be beneficial to take care of each other's different needs in marriage, avoid each other's minefields, and avoid stepping on the pit.

"Many people believe that the purpose of marriage is to find a partner with whom they can complete themselves. They may turn to marriage as a way to address their own unresolved issues and challenges. Unfortunately, this can sometimes result in discord and dissolution." - From "Becoming a Better Version of Yourself After a Breakup"

I believe that the book "If Only I Knew Before We Got Married" could be a valuable resource when considering the choice of marriage and the running of a family. Similarly, I think that "Falling in Love with the Two of Us" might also be of interest.

2. Everyone has the right to pursue happiness and express love.

Dear, might I inquire as to whether you have expressed the idea of getting back together before?

This is your happiness, and it belongs to you. You might say, "If you don't set out, how will you ever arrive?"

The worst that could happen if you show your love for him is that he rejects you, but you will still be friends. What if he feels the same way?

It is possible that the other person is testing your attitude. After all, you have been divorced for two years, and you each dare to directly express your true feelings. That invisible "threshold" is in front of you.

It is often said that women should remain reserved, but when it comes to pursuing happiness, they also need courage and self-confidence, as well as the support of strength.

I believe that when the other person reveals that they are already in a relationship, you may experience a sense of loss. Rather than trying to guess the other person's true feelings and experiencing daily pangs of unrequited love, it might be more beneficial to express your feelings openly.

There is a lovely story behind the marriage of the beetle and Wang Ning. It seems that love requires boldness, bravery, decisiveness, and even a little bit of planning.

It would be beneficial to consider whether you and your partner are prepared to reconcile. Those who have experienced the end of a relationship may have concerns that if they were to get back together, they might not be able to fully express their love and appreciation for each other.

If you feel you are being held back by fear, try to break through it. Even if it seems like things might not work out, there is still hope. If you are concerned about being seen as a "good horse that doesn't return to the pasture," you might consider finding a mutual friend to learn more about the other person's intentions.

You might also find "The Five Expressions of Love" a helpful read. Reading more books about emotions and marriage management could also be beneficial.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click on "Find a Coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Good day, My name is 羯傲不寻, and I am writing to address your recent inquiry.

I have carefully read your statements and concerns. You indicate that you have been divorced from your former spouse for two years, but that you still have feelings for him and wish to reconcile. You took the initiative to contact him, but recently learned that he had been introduced to someone new. This information upset you, and you observed that he was about to begin a new relationship. You still have feelings for him and wish to reconcile.

Two years have elapsed since the dissolution of your marriage, during which time your former spouse has formed a new relationship. Nevertheless, you continue to express a desire to reconcile.

In response to your inquiry, I will provide an analysis:

1. Could you please clarify the reason for your divorce?

From your description, it appears that you and your former spouse have been divorced for two years, yet you still desire to reconcile. Could you please elaborate on the rationale behind this decision? Is it because you feel that you divorced impulsively but still harbor strong feelings for your former spouse? Over the past two years, you have expressed significant concern for him and have maintained contact, including sharing meals, engaging in conversation, and appearing to still enjoy each other's company. It is not evident that you two still appear as a divorced couple. Do you have children together?

2. Is your former spouse also interested in reconciling with you?

It is evident that he is contemplating a new romantic involvement. Despite the lack of detailed description, it is clear that you are experiencing a sense of loss and sadness, as you are still unable to move on from the relationship. You believe that you have maintained consistent communication and that he also desires to reconcile, as you do. However, these assumptions are merely speculations. I am unable to discern your former husband's attitude, and it is unclear whether his perspective aligns with yours. You express a desire to revert to a period of happiness and love. If this is not the case, it is commendable that you are taking the initiative in this manner.

3. What is the specific issue you would like to address?

If there are so many doubts and misunderstandings, it would be advisable to first identify an appropriate opportunity to discuss them. If there is a strong desire to reconcile, it would be beneficial to communicate this to your former spouse and ascertain their views on the matter. It would be prudent to eliminate any doubts and present your true thoughts. You have demonstrated care and concern for your former spouse over the years and are disappointed to see that they are seeking a new relationship. You may wish to inquire about their views. If you are genuinely interested in reconciling, it is a matter for the two of you to decide. Hopes for a positive outcome may lead to further complications. It is essential to reach a resolution on this matter.

4. Conduct an introspective analysis of the underlying issues that contribute to your emotional state.

There must have been a significant issue that led to the dissolution of the marriage. If you wish to reconcile, have you addressed the underlying causes of the divorce? Have you made any personal changes to improve your relationship? If the divorce was primarily your personal issue, will your former spouse be amenable to reconciliation? These are important considerations that should be addressed before moving forward.

If you truly desire to reconcile, have you retained the same entitled and self-centered tendencies that your family has consistently shielded you from? How will you establish a robust and mutually supportive relationship?

5. Marriage is not a game. You must decide whether you are prepared to invest the time and effort required to save your marriage or whether you are willing to accept the consequences of giving up.

It is evident that you are taking the initiative more, and your former spouse seems to be interested in rekindling the relationship. It is difficult to ascertain whether he still has feelings for you, but it appears that you were hurt during your marriage and are still struggling to move on. Does this have anything to do with his family? Marriage is a serious commitment. Once you enter into it, you have to learn to manage and maintain it effectively. You should never take the word "divorce" lightly. Once you do, it will be even more challenging to truly want to reunite. This can be seen in your current situation. At times, once a man has made a significant decision, he may be more decisive and less emotional than a woman. The main reason he has kept in touch with you over the years is that he knows you are a kind and caring individual. However, only he himself knows whether he will remarry. It is essential to communicate with him clearly about this.

6. Accept all positive and negative aspects.

Regardless of the outcome, whether reconciliation or a breakup, it is important to be prepared for the fact that perseverance may be more challenging than giving up. If you do reconcile, you will need to invest more effort and energy, and assume responsibility for your marriage. It is essential to learn to accept and tolerate each other as you really are. Finally, regardless of the result, it is crucial to prioritize self-care and learning to love yourself.

I hope this information is useful to you. I wish you the best of luck.

Hello! It has been two years since the love/why-does-a-man-not-fear-divorce-right-after-marriage-but-later-becomes-afraid-of-it-with-his-wife-3436.html" target="_blank">divorce, and you're still thinking about your ex-husband. It's great that you've been able to get along amicably during these two years! However, it seems that your ex-husband has a new partner. It can be hard to move on when you're still thinking about your ex, but you've made great progress in two years. I'm sure you'll be able to move on soon!

So, what should we do? Absolutely nothing! We allow ourselves to grieve for a while, but we must also know how to hold ourselves and find some direction to solve the problem!

First of all, I really hope you can seriously consider whether the reason you were so determined to get a divorce two years ago has worn away.

What actually caused the divorce is your secret, but you and your ex-husband must both be very clear about it. What did you figure out after two years of trying to get back together? Has the reason for the divorce become unimportant?

How? If you do get back together, it'll be like a brand new beginning! The old "thorn" won't hurt you anymore.

If you are sure that it won't hurt you, then it definitely won't hurt your ex-husband either!

This is your chance to find out if your desire to get back together is mutual and secret, or if you're just a little bit wishful thinking!

If you can see that your ex-husband also has a tendency to remarry, you've already taken the first step! Now, list some evidence for yourself. Ask yourself if this evidence is enough to remove the thorn that was once there.

It's time to get excited about the future! Before taking further action, let's clarify the true thoughts of the two people's hearts in the present moment.

Second, if you want to promote a reconciliation, what do you think would be the best way to go about it? What resources do you have at your disposal?

– Your ex-husband and you got along really well after the divorce!

Oh, do you have children?

– Did you discuss the divorce during the two years you were together? Or did you avoid the subject?

– Has the thorn affected the two years of peaceful coexistence?

– Did your ex-husband give you any details about his new partner? It would be great to know for sure whether there's something going on!

– Could your ex-husband be testing you in this way? Do you sense evidence of this?

Have you and your ex-husband done anything to make your reconciliation possible apart from your regular friendly meetings? Make a list and see how many possibilities there are!

And there's more! All of this and whatever else you can think of should give you a great idea of how many possibilities there are when it comes to getting back together.

Absolutely! Everyone has the right to boldly pursue their own love. So, can you discuss the possibility of getting back together with your ex-husband seriously?

Now it's time to look at the bright side! Take a deep breath and think about all the reasons why you want to get back together. Write them down and then share them with your ex-husband. Be honest and open, and let him know how much you want this. You never know—he might just say yes!

Don't hint at a result, don't let yourself be held hostage by other things. Go for it! Sincerely express your desires and the efforts you have made.

If you want to love and pursue, just say it! Express it seriously and sincerely without worrying about the outcome.

And finally, I have a very special reminder for you: learn to love yourself!

No matter how many reasons you have, no matter how much you long for it, love is a two-way rush between two people. You do your best, and who knows what will happen? After all, only mutual affection can make a marriage complete.

If the wound left by the thorn cannot be truly healed, then at least for now, it is not the best time for your ex-husband to think about getting back together. When you have tried your best to express your feelings, there will be no regrets. Regret is when you say nothing and watch him walk down the aisle with someone else. But you can choose to let go and move on to bigger and better things!

If the result isn't what you wanted, I hope you can choose to let it go!

A failed marriage can definitely make a person grow! With these resources for growth, approach your new future life more positively and with a sunny attitude! And who knows—maybe the right person is slowly approaching you, too!

A life of purity, never giving up love and happiness! The world and I both love you, and you must also seriously love yourself and the world!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, question asker!

I read your question and the additional questions you added. It feels like you and your ex-husband don't have any particularly big problems of principle, and as you said, they are mostly trivial matters. From your description, it feels like you still have a bit of a temper, and your ex-husband has always been relatively tolerant of you, believing that your nature is still good, you're just spoiled—and that's great!

Generally speaking, people would think that in a marriage like this, as long as the woman can change, most men will also accept it. But there's more to it than that! The harm caused by trivial matters is also very serious, and it can even cause psychological shadows. When he encounters something similar again, he will react reflexively, and this reaction makes him feel very uncomfortable and unhappy. Your ex-husband said that it was hard for him to get over it, which seems to indicate that the psychological pressure he originally endured was relatively large. But he's ready to move on! He's willing to hold your hand again and have further intimate contact with you.

Let me tell you a true story!

A girlfriend, beautiful and capable, has a real passion for cleanliness. Her home is always spotless, her husband and her clothes are always ironed and perfectly straightened, and her job is also relaxing and comfortable. The only thing is that she has a bad temper and is easily annoyed, usually over trivial matters. For example, if her husband throws his clothes on the sofa instead of hanging them on the hangers, she gets angry and starts nagging. If something annoys her, she also loses her temper and gets upset. She completely ignores other people's feelings. She still loves her husband very much and takes good care of him. She even changed her original plan and had a child early for his sake.

After having a child, there were more chores, and she was busier than ever, because she had to take care of everything. There were more triggers for her to lose her temper. Slowly, her husband started coming home later and later, until one day, a strange woman came to the door, and she realized that the man had actually been seeing someone else.

Amazed, delighted, thrilled, and overjoyed...she simply didn't know what words to use to describe her feelings at that time. After a thrilling struggle, she reflected on herself, considered her young child, and thought about her husband's continued tolerance and care for her. She was thrilled to decide to forgive the man!

But the man said, "I may look respectable on the outside, but I'm a mess on the inside. I don't want to bear it anymore. Even if you change, I can't go back.

As long as I'm facing you, I can't get out of the old pattern of getting along. I'm really tired, but I'm excited to see what the future holds!

From the questioner's description, it seems that the questioner and her ex-husband still interact after their divorce, but the questioner is in the dominant position. It is likely that the questioner feels a bit like the girlfriend, and she feels that she really acted childishly and hurt the other person, so she is eager to make amends through her own initiative. Although the questioner's ex-husband has responded, it can be seen that he is quite reluctant to respond. It cannot be said that he does not have the slightest feeling for the questioner, but this feeling does not seem to have offset the troubles that the questioner once brought him, so he has always treated it negatively, and even took the initiative to tell the questioner that he has been introduced to someone new.

It's possible he did this to get the questioner more involved, but if he really wanted that, he'd be more open to physical intimacy like holding hands. If a man isn't in the middle of an argument or angry and isn't willing to hold hands, it can generally be seen that the man doesn't care much about the woman.

So, what about the original poster? Do you still love your ex-husband, or do you rely on the coddling and tolerance he once showed you? Have you ever seriously thought about this question?

Time is on your side! You have the opportunity to make amends and forgive. But if he left after accumulating enough disappointment, it is time to let go of what cannot be saved and let the irreparable drift away. You can spend your time and energy on making yourself stronger and better!

I wish the original poster the absolute best! ❥(^_-)