I don't understand why my parents never believe that I can do well in exams. My efforts are in vain.

Good morning,

After reading your story, I empathize with your situation. I would like to extend an offer of support and encouragement via this digital medium.

From the moment you were aware that your parents wanted you to be a boy, you may have experienced pain as a result of not being recognized by them. As you mature, your parents' words and actions may occasionally evoke that pain, causing you distress, just as after the college entrance exam, your parents received a call from a technical school discussing "average grades..." This can result in feelings of rejection and neglect resurfacing repeatedly.

I want to assure you that you are not at fault. I believe that parents love their children, but their capacity to love is constrained by the environment in which they themselves were raised. The life principles that they learned from their elders will be passed on to their children without reservation after they start a family, including educational concepts and life principles.

By way of illustration, we may cite the obsession with having a son.

They were previously treated and educated in this manner, and now they utilize this approach to educate their children, operating under the assumption that it is reasonable. Consequently, when they are unaware of the extent to which a single denial affects me, I become emotional, and they are unaware of the reason, assuming that I am simply displaying a bad temper.

If you are experiencing sadness and feel that your emotions are not being understood, it is important to recognize that this is not a reflection of a lack of willingness to understand, but rather a limitation in the ability to comprehend.

The effort you invest in preparing for the entrance exam will not be in vain. As long as you apply yourself, you can achieve the life you desire. You deserve a better life.

While our time on this earth may be limited, the decisions that shape our lives are ultimately in our hands.

You are the expert in problem-solving.

I am a rain-soaked straw hat. I hope my contribution is of assistance to you. Best regards,

Hello. I can tell you want to be loved, trusted, and cared about. You also work hard to achieve your goals. You are a kind and excellent child.

First, love yourself. Cry if you want to. Don't be afraid. It's a way of self-expression. Join more groups or do what you love, like sports, music, or painting. Exercise to stay healthy. Show your abilities through your interests.

Second, be determined about your goals. Use your own methods to turn your fears and anger into motivation to move forward. As long as you are good enough, everything will fall into place.

Third, all parents love their children in their own way. They are just concerned about their kids' future. When it comes to college, they worry about technical schools. Many parents will say their kids' grades are average or not good enough.

Show your parents how good you are. They don't know you as well as you know yourself. Believe in yourself and in your parents. We have always loved you.

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

It is only natural to feel a sense of injustice, anger, helplessness, and powerlessness when you are not trusted by your parents.

Your parents' distrust and denial is not because you're not capable of being good enough. It's because they're projecting their own inner self-doubt onto you, and they're not aware of their own inner self-doubt. They unintentionally project it onto the people around them, especially those who are vulnerable to them. You are such a presence in the family.

In the face of your parents' distrust, you must express your true feelings and needs. Let your parents know that their words and actions have deeply hurt you and that you cannot be treated this way.

Write a letter to your parents. Tell them, in words, how their lack of trust in you has caused you pain. Tell them what kind of treatment you want from them. This will help you express and release the pain caused by their lack of trust. It will also help you understand your emotions better. You will be able to identify your real needs and express them in a way that satisfies those needs.

You must understand that not being trusted by your parents does not mean that your efforts have been worthless and meaningless. You have gained a better self in the process of this effort, and this is the greatest benefit of your efforts. Think about it.

Once you become aware of the trauma caused by not being trusted by your parents, you can use this self-awareness to reparent yourself. Parenting yourself in the way you would like to be parented is simple: fully accept and believe in yourself.

I am Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Pavilion. The world and I love you.

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope that my reply will be of some assistance to you.

I understand that you desire your parents' approval and encouragement. However, it seems that they are not providing that, which is causing you distress. As a daughter, I can relate to this. We all crave our parents' love. It is possible to express this, to let them see our needs and feel our sadness.

I would like to offer you the following advice:

It is advisable to accept your parents and understand the reasons behind their actions.

Your parents' preference for boys is also influenced by social culture. They have their limitations, and they are unaware that this has caused you significant harm. They are unable to provide what they do not have, which is simply a reflection of their imperfect nature. When we can recognize this and accept their limitations, and understand that their behavior is shaped by social culture and their own family of origin, we may feel somewhat more at ease.

It is also important to recognize that if parents are not open to change, it may be challenging to influence them. As the movie "What the Wind Brings" illustrates, there are three main categories: one's own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven.

The reason for our distress is that we do not control our own affairs, but instead concern ourselves with the affairs of others and the affairs of a higher power.

In this context, "other people" refers to anyone outside of ourselves, including our parents. If we continue to expect them to align with our ideal image, seeking recognition and trust from them, and they fail to change, it will inevitably lead to ongoing challenges.

However, if we can accept them and recognize their limitations, we will be better equipped to handle their unchanging nature without undue distress.

2. It is recommended that you communicate your needs and feelings to your parents.

It is possible to take action. We can attempt to express our feelings and thoughts, inform them of our grievances and needs, regardless of whether they will change or not. However, it is easier to speak out than to hold it in. If they do not change, we must learn to be our own inner parents, giving ourselves the recognition and belief we need.

You have stated that they are unaware of the extent to which a single denial affects you, and you have expressed your emotions through tears, which they perceive as mere displays of bad temper. It is important to recognize that

While they are your parents, if you refrain from sharing your true feelings, they will remain unaware. Only by expressing your feelings to them and openly discussing your needs will they be able to understand your requirements and how to meet them.

After the college entrance exam, some technical schools called, and you were pleased. You had not anticipated that I would be able to gain admission to a reputable high school. You expressed satisfaction discussing the matter with me and requested that a spot be reserved for me, citing my average grades. I was disappointed, frustrated, and somewhat displeased when I learned of this. I require your trust and recognition. I need you to value and care about me. I hope you can recognize my efforts and dedication. In the future, I hope you will encourage me, believe in me, and support me.

In the future, when you encounter something that makes you feel uncomfortable and triggers feelings that you don't like, you can express yourself in this way and speak your true needs and feelings. This will also help your parents to understand you better.

3. Learn to be your own inner mentor.

It is important to recognise that we all have the capacity to be our own perfect parent. While we often expect our parents to be perfect, the reality is that all parents are ordinary people with limitations. My own parents are no exception.

I have discovered that individuals can achieve the same results by learning to serve as their own inner mentors and addressing their own needs.

When you desire your parents' trust and recognition, it is important to learn to recognize and trust yourself. When you have achieved this, your inner being will also be in perfect harmony, and you will not be so eager for your real parents to give you these things. They can give you that, and that is beneficial, but it is not a prerequisite for success. You already have the capacity to succeed. You are full within, and you are self-sufficient, right?

It is therefore important to love yourself, accept yourself, believe in yourself, and take care of yourself. When you do so, your world will change.

Please find the above information for your reference. Best regards,

Hi, I'm Jia Jia, and I'm here to comfort you in your sadness, anxiety, and confusion.

First, your parents' preference for sons has had a significant impact on your growth, both mentally and physically. But don't worry, it's not your fault! It's their fault for their beliefs and actions. You are an obedient, well-behaved child who strives to do your best. You must firmly believe this, and I know you can!

Second, as you grow up, you'll start to understand more about the differences between the sexes and your parents' views. For now, you're still young, and all you have to do is focus on your studies and try your best to be the best version of yourself, just as you did for the entrance exam. Whether you go to vocational school or high school, you'll be the best. As long as you try your best, you won't regret it.

Third, as you continue to grow up, try not to pay too much attention to the rebukes and contempt of your parents, teachers, and classmates. In fact, many times people other than your parents are unintentional, and you are relatively more sensitive and suspicious. You are not to blame for the formation of this personality and habit, sweetheart.

You've done a great job, my friend. Just believe in yourself.

As time goes by and you grow up, you'll see how meaningful your current persistence is. And don't forget to make some friends and do things you enjoy to take your mind off things!

Hello! I'm Public Zonghao, a pretentious young man (ID: qingnianJIA2020), and I'm really looking forward to keeping in touch with you!

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