I have a somewhat ingratiating personality, and my friend has a strong personality. How should I deal with this friendship?

The condition of being internally conflicted represents a genuine reflection of one's true self.

There are four main categories of human experience: emotions, feelings, thoughts, and ideas.

Emotional: Reluctance

The emotion in question is depression.

Thoughts: A persistent desire to ascertain the veracity of a situation, prompting the question of whether it is a personal issue.

(Bold text represents your description. The remainder of the text represents my interpretation.)

She treats me in a benevolent manner, and I hold her in high regard.

From an emotional perspective, friends are a source of great support and kindness, fostering a sense of gratitude and appreciation.

However, I gradually came to understand that our worldviews were not aligned. As I interacted with her, I realized that there were significant discrepancies between our perspectives.

For example, if one individual prefers spicy hot pot while another prefers clear soup, this is not a significant issue. However, if one person asserts that those who consume clear soup are foolish when they are eating spicy hot pot, it becomes evident that there are irreconcilable differences in values.

In the event of a dispute, she will employ language that is particularly hurtful.

One frequently experiences these sentiments in one's relationship with her. One feels attacked and hurt by her, hurt by her words.

I once attempted to persuade her to reconsider her position by presenting my own point of view, but she consistently asserted that my perspective was erroneous.

It is your intention to convey to her that you wish to elucidate your position. She, however, is driven by an inner potential to defend herself, asserting that she is correct.

When she believes she is correct, your perspective is automatically deemed erroneous. This may be attributed to her personality traits.

I have chosen to forego this endless argument by adopting a habit of compromise and tolerance.

This process is inherently uncomfortable due to the significant emotional strain it causes. It often renders one unable to withstand the emotional pressure that arises. As previously stated, I possess a personality that is driven by a desire to please others. In this particular situation, this manifests as a fear of conflict and a tendency to prioritize maintaining harmony and compromising one's own needs over those of others.

Restore to calm. Ingratiate oneself.

It would appear that in such circumstances, you are the one who bears the brunt of the situation.

This state of affairs should have continued for some time, and as the relationship matured, the discrepancies between the two individuals became increasingly evident. When I did not meet her expectations, she would ascribe blame to me, perceiving my actions as unhelpful and consistently placing her in a challenging position.

When you assist with the tasks, she will evaluate your actions, accuse you, and even emotionally blackmail you (this term may be somewhat strong; simply put, she will transfer her emotions onto you—it's all your fault, you're helping, if you hadn't done so poorly, things wouldn't have turned out like this, etc.).

The individual in question bears a considerable emotional burden and a significant degree of responsibility. However, there is no apparent rationale for this.

Gradually, I began to question whether I was truly a malevolent individual who perpetually erred.

Based on this interaction, the subject is overcome with self-doubt and experiences feelings of profound distress, attributing responsibility for these emotions to themselves.

This pervasive sense of self-doubt is overwhelming, akin to a dark cloud hovering over one's head or a massive stone pressing down on one's chest.

The situation is further complicated by the fact that the individual in question is uncertain about how to process their emotions.

I am uncertain as to the appropriate means of processing my emotions.

The word "digest" is therefore employed, but this is beyond my capacity.

My common sense dictates that I should maintain my resolve and trust in my own judgment.

My common sense dictates that I should maintain my resolve and recognize my own identity.

Indeed, a hypothesis has now been formulated. However, it would be erroneous to attribute responsibility to myself.

It is therefore necessary for me to maintain my own position.

I then began to consider whether the criticism she had leveled at me was objective.

One might inquire as to the objectivity of her statements. This is an aspect of self-doubt, and there is also a long-standing trauma associated with perception. This phenomenon bears resemblance to the familial expectation that one must rectify their missteps, embrace humility, or adhere to the methodologies prescribed by their elders.

If she truly has these issues and raises them with me, would it be beneficial for me to address them?

I am uncertain as to how to distinguish between right and wrong.

It is likely that you will soon discover this, although there is no certainty in this. If I were the executor, my opinion would come before it, which is akin to saying that I need to go from Guangzhou to Shanghai. She informed me that I needed to take a plane, but in the actual process of doing so, I found that the flight I needed was no longer available. Furthermore, it was actually faster to take the high-speed train from my home.

I rapidly discerned my own cognitive process. Your line of reasoning is predicated on a binary distinction between right and wrong. If she is correct, then I am erroneous. However, it is possible that she and you are both correct. The pivotal factor is who will execute the plan and what the conditions for implementation are.

It is not the case that we have identified the optimal solution; rather, we have identified a solution that is the best possible within the constraints of the situation.

She consistently asserts that I have caused her particular harm, yet I am uncertain how to respond to the harm she has caused me. While she has been benevolent towards me, she has also inflicted significant distress.

My rationale dictates the dissolution of this friendship, yet my emotional response precludes such a decision.

I have reached a critical juncture. She is exceedingly kind to me, and I hold her in high regard. However, our current emotional states are creating a confusing dynamic.

It appears that I am unable to afford this situation. What is the optimal course of action?

To be precise, the friendship is not the source of the issue.

It is essential to develop the ability to recognize one's own needs, emotions, and expectations regarding treatment.

It is imperative to develop the ability to communicate and express one's needs in a constructive manner, rather than merely expressing emotions. It is also essential to cultivate respect for others and to embrace self-love.

It is imperative to engage in introspective work. This entails psychological healing and reconstruction, confronting conflicts, embracing differences, and developing the capacity to advocate for oneself while maintaining emotional stability and a balance of gentleness and assertiveness.