I have been married to my husband for more than 3 years, but we have been arguing a lot these days. He is short-tempered. What should I do?

Dear, I have read your confession and I totally get where you're coming from. In a marriage, problems can't be attributed to just one person. It takes two to tango! Let's discuss it together!

1. You've been married for three years, and you should have known his personality before. In the first year of marriage, you were able to accept his strong possessiveness and put up with his bad temper. What did you value at the time?

I'm still here!

2. You have been engaged in lively debate every day for the past few days, and you also had a spirited discussion some time ago. He also has a tendency to be a bit short-tempered, and he has a history of hitting people. Did he start hitting people after your father-in-law died unexpectedly?

Oh, what started it? Did he suddenly get an illness that caused an organic lesion?

It's time to focus on your health!

3. Your father-in-law died unexpectedly last year, and the sudden loss of an important other person will indeed have a slight impact. When you discuss seeing a psychologist with him, you should tell him that in modern times, not everyone who goes to a psychologist is necessarily mentally ill, and that normal people can also seek help from a psychologist—it's a great option!

4. Men may have more sexual needs than women, but women also have them! It's important to remember that you can't use the fact that your sexual needs are not being met as an excuse to get the other person to satisfy you in other ways. The solution is simple: communicate well!

5. From your written description, it seems that both of you have the opportunity to learn how to communicate in an intimate relationship. I highly recommend that you read the book Love, which needs to be learned, and if necessary, seek marriage counseling from a counselor.

I hope this is helpful for you! Thanks so much for reading.

Hello, dear question asker!

It's so sad to see how easily agitated your husband is, and how his bad temper is causing such great distress.

I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be really difficult for you.

I'd love to know more about your husband's personality before this happened. Was he emotionally stable and easy-going?

If it's true that his bad temper only started after your father-in-law passed away, then it's likely that he was struggling to cope with his grief.

Could it be related to not dealing with emotions?

In addition, you also mentioned in the post that being unable to satisfy your husband sexually can easily lead to a short temper, which is the biggest taboo in a marriage. I can relate to that so much!

It's so important to be able to talk about these things with your partner. Sexual anxiety can be a real challenge, and it's so easy for it to manifest as anger or frustration when we're not aware of it. It's like it's waiting to explode, and it can affect our relationships with our partners and even our families. It's so good that you're looking for ways to support your husband and find ways to relieve his sexual anxiety.

This can cause a lot of stress and upset for the whole family.

I'd love to know how this can be resolved!

It's really important to understand your own emotions. If you're feeling really unstable, it might be worth taking a step back and seeing if you can find some calm.

Your anxiety will affect him too, making the conflict between you worse. So first try to deal with your own negative emotions.

It's so important to communicate with him in a calm and collected manner.

Second, it would be really helpful for you to try to empathize with his emotions and understand what feelings are behind his grumpy mood.

And it's so important to understand what's going on for him. Only by empathizing with him and supporting him can you ease the conflict.

Oh dear, it looks like there's some conflict here.

I really feel that, as long as you both feel you haven't made any fundamental mistakes and there's still a certain emotional foundation, you should stick together.

On this basis, I really encourage you not to give up on your marriage lightly. You need to consider that if your husband can't handle the blow of a divorce,

I just want to check: will there be more extreme acts of retaliation that could harm you?

And finally, I just want to remind you to communicate openly and honestly when you're both feeling calm and collected.

Have a heart-to-heart about each other's feelings and needs, expectations for the marriage and the future, and all those sweet, romantic things you love about each other.

And who knows, this might just be the way to bring back those lovely feelings of fondness and love for each other!

I just wanted to say that the above analysis is for reference only, due to the limitations of the data involved. I hope it helps!

Hello, I'm counselor Yao. I'm here to support you and I'm listening!